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Sarah Silverman
Lemonade.
Sam Fragoso
This is Talk Easy. I'm San Fragoso.
Unknown
Welcome to the show.
Today, one of my favorite working comedians, Sarah Silverman. Her career began back in 1993 when she joined SNL as both a writer and a performer. Although she was not long for 30 Rockefeller, Silverman found her way out west where she quickly made a name for herself as a provocative stand up comic book. Between scene stealing parts on Seinfeld, the Larry Sanders show, and Mr. Show with Bob and David, Silverman continued to work on her craft. In 2005, she released her first stand up special, one of my favorites. It was called Jesus is Magic, which would lay the groundwork for what would become the Sarah Silverman program on Comedy Central. Since then, she's continued to go in various different directions. She starred in acclaimed indie films like Take this Waltz and I Smile Back, penned a memoir called the Bedwetter, which is such a good book if you haven't read it. She also hosts the Sarah Silverman Podcast, made by our partners at Lemonada Media, where she talks about personal anecdotes, offers musings on a range of subjects, and then offers great, great advice and also funny advice to a whole host of listener questions. You can find that show through Lemonada Media. New episodes air every Thursday. We recorded this conversation originally about two years ago on the dot in the spring of 2023. It was during a time of unimaginable heartbreak for Silverman. Her beloved father, Donald, and her stepmother Janice passed away just nine days apart. Since then, she's channeled that grief into a remarkable new special called Postmortem. It premiered on Netflix this past week and it's everything you expect from a Sarah Silverman special. Moving, funny, raunchy, surprisingly joyous in parts, and it touches on everything from deathbed binge watching to funeral planning, both of which we talk about in this conversation. And so today, I wanted to replay this episode from 2023 in which Silverman was more than generous with her time and her story. I've known Sarah for a long, long time. And this episode is somehow better and more moving than I ever thought or imagined it could be. So with that, I'll see you back here on Sunday with a brand new episode. Until then, here is the one and only Sarah Silver.
Sam Fragoso
Sarah, Sam, welcome.
Sarah Silverman
Ah, it's so nice to be here.
Unknown
This has been. I was gonna say this has been.
Sam Fragoso
A long time coming, but I actually don't know if it has because one of the reasons I never invited you on the show, I'm getting out in Front of it now is because when I first moved to Los Angeles, I went to one of your parties.
Sarah Silverman
Oh, yeah.
Sam Fragoso
You know those ones you used to throw on the roof?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
That were so fun. And I remember walking in. Oh, I must have been 22 years old, 23, tops. And I went to go get a drink, and above the punch bowl, there was a sign that read, no, I won't be on your podcast.
Sarah Silverman
No, no, no. But that's how you're remembering it.
Sam Fragoso
It was something like that. Right?
Sarah Silverman
I wrote I have, and I made it myself, and it says, no podcast solicitations because the party's really special. I don't go to parties much. I don't, but I have this. Or I did have this one party every year that I would throw on the roof of my old building where I used to live, and it was perfect. There was no conversation you would want to avoid. It was all people. Everyone who was there would know at least three people and would meet at least three people. Like, it's just. What?
Sam Fragoso
That was true.
Unknown
Yeah.
Sarah Silverman
That's my best description of the party is it's just like, every kind of person and everyone's vulnerable, but everyone's safe. And you see someone like Diane fucking Keaton, and she's just by herself, going up to people like, hi, I'm Diane. Mm. It's awesome.
Sam Fragoso
It was a great time.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
And now you're here.
Sarah Silverman
Now I'm here. At long last, finally. But, you know, I didn't. I knew you only through basketball.
Sam Fragoso
Right.
Sarah Silverman
So I was just, like, this scrappy kid that I love who's awesome at basketball, and we play basketball. But then I listened to your podcast, and I was like, oh, my God, you're incredible. Get a load of this, kid.
Sam Fragoso
Oh, my God. This sounds like my mother. How are you doing?
Sarah Silverman
That sounds loaded. And I'm guessing it might be because both my parents died this month.
Sam Fragoso
It feels a little disingenuous for me to start anywhere else, I think.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, right, right.
Sam Fragoso
I can't just be like, so your new special here.
Sarah Silverman
You know, I think I'm in, like, a. Well, you know, grief. It comes in waves. It takes its own trajectory. It's none of my business where it goes. This happened with my mother years ago. Like, you know, it doesn't hit until you're, like, in line at Gelson's, you know, and then you start sobbing to the person behind you. Yeah. My stepmom, Janice, who's been, you know, in my life since I was 7, got pancreatic cancer Over Christmas, I just. Just, you know, crazy, just. And still we just were like, ah, she'll lick it. I mean, this is a woman who played her best golf, like, this year, you know, Unbelievable. But, you know, that one really gets ya.
Sam Fragoso
She was a fighter, though.
Sarah Silverman
She was a fighter. And, you know, it would've been better if they swapped ailments, because if they did, my dad would not fight it and just go, ah, I'm just gonna go. Give me palliative care. I lived a long life, but she wanted to fight. And then he had something he probably could have fought, but was just like, no, I want to be with Janice. He had kidney failure, and we promised him no more hospital. And I talked to his doctor, and his doctor's like, as a professional, I need to say he should be in the hospital and he should be on dialysis. But as a human, I totally get it and respect it and probably would do the same thing. So I was happy in these circumstances to be able to go back. I was in the hallway talking to his doctor and then go back into his bedroom and go, dad, no more medication. I mean, he was probably on 40 pills a day. This with food, this without food, this, you know, he fucking hated it and just completely maddening. Yeah. So I go, no more medicine. None. You're done. And we're all going to be here with you forever. You know, all four sisters and two nieces and a nephew just kind of hunkered down in their apartment here in Los Angeles. And we were with them for both of them when they passed on. And with my dad, it was like, such a celebration that night when we were like, that's it, you know, and we stayed in bed with him, and we were laughing and he's singing the worms crawling the worms crawl out the worms play pinochle on your snout and we're laughing and singing and singing old songs. And, you know, I miss him. And when you. You know, obviously I miss him from his more vital days, but I even kind of miss him from these last days where I was, like, just kissing his face all over and rubbing his silky hair, and it felt good on his head. I'd, like, rub his hair and. And just being very intimate with him, you know, like, changing him. Like, he'd be like, I fucking. I shit myself. You know, and then. And at first it was really scary. It was like I had this assumption that he was. Would be humiliated or embarrassed. And I go, dad, are you embarrassed that we're cleaning you up? And, you know, he goes, I don't give a shit. And it became, like, just really special. It took, like, three of us. And we'd roll him over on one side, and I'd just be holding him and hugging him, and I'd. You're my best friend. I love you so much. You'd go, I love you. You know, whatever. And I, like, I didn't want to let go. And then we'd roll him on the other side, and Adar, you know, his grandson, my nephew, would get to hug him and go, I love you. I love you, Zade. You know, whatever they were wiping, like, we're cleaning him up in it.
Sam Fragoso
The dream team.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, the stream team is for real. I wasn't going to call it them, but, like, we. It took a few days, but we really embraced it. And it became, like, getting him clean felt so good, and it felt so good to do for him, you know, and him not being embarrassed by it was just massive, you know? Like, my therapist says we're in skin suits, man. You know? But it really is true. These are, like, these shells that ourselves are in.
Sam Fragoso
Is your therapist Jeff Bridges from the Big Lebows?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, my therapist is the Dude. He does kind of look like the dude.
Sam Fragoso
You said on a recent episode of your podcast that the thing about death is that it's all right for them because they're gone.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
It's just a pain in the ass for the rest of us here that miss them.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. I take real comfort in that, that they're fine. We're the ones suffering, and I find that discomforting, you know?
Sam Fragoso
Yeah, I hadn't thought of it like that.
Sarah Silverman
I mean, listen, it could be true. It could not be true. It's a survival skill like anything else, like religion or, you know, making fun of yourself before someone else does. It's all the same.
Sam Fragoso
But, yeah, and thinking about them, your stepmother and your father, you dedicated this new special to them. Right?
Sarah Silverman
And you're like, how could you have known? Well, yeah, I mean, I shot the special exactly two months ago today, and it's already at, like, it really turned over fast. And in doing the post stuff, I knew Janice was. She was in hospice at that. We were, you know, it was hospice at that point, so I knew I wanted to dedicate it to Janice. And then a few days later, I texted my manager partner, Amy, and I said, yeah, we should probably dedicate it to both of them. I mean, listen, we're a dark family. I mean, my dad was making jokes. I don't know if I mentioned this one, but, like, you know, we quadruple checked. Like, this is really your choice, dad. Right. You no hospital. No, I don't want to fucking go to the hospital. I want to be with Janice. Whatever. And we wanted to honor that. So about two days into it being, no turning back, he goes, you know, I change my mind. I want to live. And we're like, oh, my God, you're such an asshole. It was a split second where we were like. And then we knew he was fucking with us.
Sam Fragoso
I think anyone who watches your new special, it's called Someone youe Love, will immediately understand based on this conversation where you get your morbid comedy from. Yeah, like, it's very clearly your dad. And even in this new special, my favorite pieces of material, I think are around the anti abortion activist and the anti Semitism. So I'm curious, what was it like to work out this material on tour? Performing in states where abortion access is actively being taken away and anti Semitism is on the rise.
Sarah Silverman
It was really wild. So many states on the tour are abortion's illegal and it's really not big in the news. I mean, it's really not. It's bizarre. And nothing monumental or massive or like things that are gonna be historically huge feel that way in the moment. I've said this before. It's like life doesn't suddenly go into slow motion or there's no music telling us how to feel or indicating that this is gonna be. This is a major event. These moments happen and then the next moment and the next moment and the next moment, and you're living regular life and you can't stop any, you know, stop all things and say, this is like this huge moment in history.
Sam Fragoso
And yet in both this special and your podcast, you kind of keep returning to these subjects again and again in a way that you seem pretty undaunted by. Does performing this material where you can't really disassociate because you're in front of real people whose lives are being changed in the moment, does it relieve the fear and anxiety you feel about this time in America?
Sarah Silverman
Maybe. Yeah. I think there's like, maybe some kind of pressure valve in it. You know, I mean, I just think it's like it's somewhere that I have control, like, you know, in comedy. And also, I think when I talk about it, there's a big difference to me between politicians and billionaires who buy those politicians and the disingenuous laws that they pass and policies that take our rights away. I hope they go to the hell. I don't Believe in. But these protesters outside of abortion clinics, as angry as I get at them, they just believe. You know, like to me, there's a difference between the liars and the lied to and the more power misinformation has in our world, which is like kind of all the power in the world right now. And it's, that's the most scary thing really. They hear things like late term abortion and they think it's some whimsical thing that, you know, woman who's pregnant wants to like terminate a large fetus or even, you know, Trump was pushing post born babies, you know, like none of that happens. And now hundreds of thousands of women are being forced to give birth to dead fetuses or babies that will have horrible, painful, struggling moments of life before they die because they have Potter syndrome or, you know, but, but because of the law now they. So it's very, very dark and the misinformation is incredibly strong. I understand what it is to believe something with your whole heart so much you want everyone to believe it. But if what you believe is righteous, you should be convincing other people using just only what is the truth. And fetuses are not poster sized. They're only teeny tiny, you know.
Sam Fragoso
No, I love that joke. I think that's.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, I say if they were poster sized, I'd go, yeah, that's alive. You know, if they were poster sized, they, these people would probably hunt them. But of course.
Sam Fragoso
I should mention for people listening to this.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
Worried that maybe you've changed and you're only serious in this special. I feel like we should note that the show does open with an orgy joke.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, it's like a joke book style joke. You know, that's fun. So I go, what did the Jewish mother say to her porn star daughter after watching her in a gang bang? You were the best one. And then I have some tags which are my Sharon had all holes filled. You know, Jewish mothers are so proud.
Sam Fragoso
But ultimately that joke is about supportive parents.
Sarah Silverman
It is.
Sam Fragoso
Hey, speaking of which, when you were coming of age in the 1970s in Manchester, New Hampshire.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. I mean like this. I was an infant in the 70s. Well, it's not like I act like I was like in high school. Coming of age.
Sam Fragoso
When you were poster size infant in the 1970s. Coming of age in the 1980s. Your parents are split up by then, you're living with your mother. You described her as a real life Diane Chambers.
Sarah Silverman
Yes.
Sam Fragoso
Who also struggled with depression.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
When you were 12 years old, starting to fall in Love with comedy. And you were on that school camping trip.
Sarah Silverman
Oh my God.
Sam Fragoso
Hiking up Mount Cardigan.
Sarah Silverman
It was so weird to hear.
Sam Fragoso
Did a similar wave of depression wash over you at that age?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, that's exactly right. And it really became like a weird foreshadowing in a fucked up way where. So I was my student president of this eighth grade camping trip that everyone in eighth grade at this, my school would go on four days, Mount Cardigan. And I was terrified of going a chronic bedwetter. I had to hide Pampers, large sized Pampers in my sleeping bag. I cried the whole time. And like, you know, teachers asked why. I, like, blamed it on, like, I'm worried about my mom. I'm worried, you know, whatever. Like just instead of, like, I'm just so homesick and I am scared I'm gonna pee in my sleeping bag. And it was a miserable, humiliating trip. I mean, nobody's fault. Everyone was, you know, the teachers were wonderful and everyone was nice. It wasn't. There wasn't a bully involved or anything anyone said, but it was miserable. And I was mad at myself and embarrassed by my behavior. And we finally reach home and my mom, who never picked me up from things, it was always my stepdad or someone else. My mom was kind of in bed a lot of the time, and she was a photographer, you know, And I was just so humiliated. I got off the bus and there she was and she was just, snap, snap, snap, snap, snap. And I am. I just want to get in the car and go home. I'm so humiliated. And in that moment, depression gripped me and it lasted for the next three years.
Sam Fragoso
But that teenage, you like, feeling that depression for the first time. You said once that your dad would come up with all kinds of schemes to fix me. What did those look like?
Sarah Silverman
As a teenager, I went to a psychiatrist and I was 13, very small for my age. And he said, I'm going to give you a prescription for Xanax. And whenever you. And that wasn't a thing back then. This was very new. And he said, whenever you feel low, you just take one. And then I went to my second appointment and he had hung himself. You know, he didn't do it while I was in the session, but I remember.
Sam Fragoso
Did he have braces?
Sarah Silverman
He had braces on his teeth. Yeah. And I remember thinking, because I was in the waiting room, and I remember I read an entire People magazine and I had never done that before. I got to the last page, I went, wow, I read a whole People magazine. And then I thought well, wait a minute, it must be really late, you know, and it was this Victorian house that this psychiatrist shared with a hypnotist who I had gone to for bedwetting, you know, months earlier, Dr. Grimm was his name. But I read that whole People magazine and then I look up and I see Dr. Grimm from upstairs with red eyes sobbing with no bedside manner to this tiny little 13 year old girl. And he said, a Dr. Riley hung himself. I mean, even then I was just like, that can't be the way to handle this, right? And then I just had to wait until one of my parents picked me up. You know, there weren't cell phones or anything. And it's funny because when I wrote the book, I talked to my parents and I said, I don't remember talking about it ever after that. I don't remember like going home and you sitting me down. I don't. And I remember my dad going like, yeah, I don't either. I think we just like didn't talk about it. It was just so crazy.
Sam Fragoso
So that's what I want to ask you about, like you as a teenager, how the hell you grappled with all of that at that age? How did you make sense of. Okay, I guess I go back to school now.
Sarah Silverman
Well, I didn't. I stayed home from school for about three months and I lived with my mom and she just couldn't make me, she didn't have the strength.
Sam Fragoso
So after you have a few like pretty ineffective therapists. Was there another therapist after that?
Sarah Silverman
Well, the next psychiatrist I went to who was like a registered nurse, whose husband was a doctor and he wrote the prescriptions. I mean like she really should be in jail, but she's probably dead of old age by now. I don't remember her name at all. I don't remember much about it other than she just kept upping it and upping it and upping it. And I was a 13 year old taking 16 Xanax a day. I mean, I feel like I'm lying saying this. Four Xanax, four times a day. A 13 year old. And again, teeny tiny for my age. I look like I was nine. And I remember I kept all the empty bottles in a shoebox because I just thought this is gonna kill me and I need something for like detectives to find. But like my, you know, you didn't question doctors. My parents didn't question, question doctors. Nobody did back then. And then eventually my mother found a psychiatrist. But he, thank God, got me off it and got me off really slowly and I just remember sitting with my mom in his office and telling him what I was on and he couldn't believe it. And it was kind of like this catch all drug at the time where he said, this is a big deal. He said, my brother was put on Xanax for acne, which I don't think. I guess that must have been a thing way back when when they were finding all these uses for it and stopped cold turkey and died. I was on 16 a day. So he's like nailed into me like, this is. You can't just stop. You're gonna take half of a pill less a week. And it took, you know, six months or something. And I just remember being at the bubla AKA water fountain and taking that last half and being myself again.
Sam Fragoso
Once the clouds have kind of parted and you start to feel a little bit like yourself again. I'm trying to understand you as a teenager. Like every night you'd look up at the ceiling and the words would read, still there. By the way, I love Steve Martin.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
When you're not looking at the ceiling, you would stay up late and watch late night television.
Sarah Silverman
Yes.
Sam Fragoso
You love David Letterman, but it was an episode on the Johnny Carson show that really changed something for you. What was that?
Sarah Silverman
I had this little TV in my room and my mom came upstairs and she goes, ooh, ooh, ooh. And she put on Johnny Carson and she said, this guest is. She was Miss New Hampshire. Her name was Jane Badler. And she was, you know, this actress, beautiful actress on Johnny Carson. And Martin Moll was the first guest. And she says so cavalier, like it's no big deal that she was a bedwetter, you know, growing up. And I couldn't believe it. I mean, I was so sure that this would be the biggest secret of my life, you know, that I was a bedwetter. I thought, oh, it'll be my greatest shame. I'll die if anyone finds out. And here she is making a joke of it in front of the whole world. You know, to me, the whole world, I guess America. And it just, it blew my mind.
Sam Fragoso
Well, so that's. I'm fascinated. Like, you have this bedwetting problem till you're about 15, 16 years old.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
Did that in some way, like, embolden you to perform on stage? Because at that point, were you like, well, I already can work past that. Like, what's the worst that can happen?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. I think this is like the common thread with comedians because, like, for me, it was like bedwetting or like being Jewish being very hairy in a very blonde world. All these components made me funny because that's the survival skill of the oddball, you know, of the. I would say 100% of comedians become comedians as one of the survival skills of childhood, you know.
Sam Fragoso
So when you're 17 at that Mexican restaurant called. Oh my God, La Cantina. Yeah, it's in New Hampshire. You go up there and perform this rendition of Memories by Barbra Streisand. Yeah, I think it was called Mammories.
Sarah Silverman
Very, very clever. It was about being flat chested because I was.
Sam Fragoso
When you look back on that young teenage Sarah getting out there, did you feel any fear?
Sarah Silverman
No, because I was like, I've peed at friends houses, at sleepover parties where everyone, you know, like, this is humiliation, is like, this is nothing, you know? I know. Real humiliation. What, am I gonna not make people laugh? That's gonna kill me. No way. Like, who cares? And I did. I opened at La Cantina for the band that was playing and I bombed epically.
Sam Fragoso
We actually have a clip from that night.
Sarah Silverman
I wish we did. Oh, God.
Sam Fragoso
Maybe for the first time in the history of human civilization, someone was emboldened by bedwetting. So much so that they moved to New York City, enroll at NYU and spend their first year basically on the corner passing out flyers to comedy clubs so that you could get four or five minutes on stage.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. Without having to bring people together.
Sam Fragoso
So when you do that at 18, 19 years old and you're in New York, do you remember that phone call you had with your father telling him that you weren't sure about going back to school?
Sarah Silverman
Well, my call to my dad was that I wanted to take a year off and just do standup. And he supported it completely.
Sam Fragoso
Were you nervous about telling him that?
Sarah Silverman
Not, I guess, a little bit. But he was totally down with it. Like, he was like, I think that's a good idea. And then when I went back, I was a drama major and I loved it. But I just felt like if I'm going to be at this expensive school, I can take acting classes outside of school. I wanna, like, be a comic. I wanna be an actor. I need information, you know, my just regular scholastic classes that I took were really interesting and I, you know, and I liked that more. So I transferred to the arts and sciences school. But before I started, my dad called me and said, if you drop out of school, I'll pay your next three years rent. Like as if it's your sophomore, junior, senior year and utilities. So it was like $350 rent.
Sam Fragoso
You know, years later, in an interview in the Guardian, your dad said, my feeling was you throw the bird up into the air and if it falls down, you dust it off and throw it back up. And it all seemed fine to me. Sarah just seemed ready.
Sarah Silverman
Oh, my God. First of all, very impressed by this level of holy shit preparedness. But also, I don't remember that. That's so interesting. Like, that's kind of a smarty, interesting, thoughtful answer.
Sam Fragoso
You surprised that it came from him?
Sarah Silverman
Yes, he was. Well, I think I get a little bit of this from him there. He's like hidden smart. Like, I'm really dumb about a lot of things, but I'm like heart smart. Kind of. He's heart smart, but, like, he did all my money. Like, he, like, managed my money. Like, all for the first, like, decade of doing standup. And then one day he asked me what K meant, and I horrifiedly went, thousand. And I was just like, oh, God, I think I need to hire a professional. And that was a scary conversation, but we just laughed. Cause I go, dad, you're only getting older. What am I gonna do? You're gonna die. And then I won't have somebody managing my money. I'm just gonna do it now and have someone else, you know?
Sam Fragoso
But I mean, we started this conversation talking about your dad and then supportive parents. And through the years, he really seemed like someone who fullheartedly believed in you.
Sarah Silverman
Totally believed in me. It's not the typical comedian story. Like all of my parents were completely. But, you know, I've worked, you know, he paid for my rent those three years as if it were a sophomore, junior, senior year. And then I was hired on Saturday Night Live. I've always supported. Always supported myself since then. So, you know, worked out.
Sam Fragoso
So from 93 to 94, you work on SNL, right? At the end of 94, you're fired. Something like that.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
Coincides, right? When I was born and.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
Are they related?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, it was the birth of Sam Fragoso.
Sam Fragoso
Fragoso Fragosa. It's Mexican.
Sarah Silverman
Is it?
Sam Fragoso
Yeah.
Sarah Silverman
Are you Mexican?
Sam Fragoso
I'm 50%.
Sarah Silverman
That's so cool.
Sam Fragoso
I know. People always think it's Italian.
Sarah Silverman
It's Italian.
Sam Fragoso
I know. 93 to 94, you work on SNL. Yeah. Then you get fired. Then I'm born. Completely unrelated, right? You move to Los Angeles and start performing in LA and start performing here in 95 at that age where you, like any young artist, are failing all the time.
Sarah Silverman
Oh, my God.
Sam Fragoso
How did you define yourself? In response to that failure, what did that look like?
Sarah Silverman
Well, I didn't see it coming at all. I never see it coming, you know, like, being fired. Yeah. Yeah. So with Saturday Night Live, I was like. It was like, August. I was already, like, writing sketch, you know, thinking of sketches for the next season and everything. And I was just, like, shocked. But they had done a big cleaning of. Hey, it wasn't just me. Like, they cleaned house. Like, a bunch of us got fired. But I definitely went through a long stretch of going, am I in show business anymore? I don't know if I am. Like, I. And I just went back to, you know, I'm. Comics are lucky. Like, we have standup. So I just, like, went back to one, you know, and just kept writing jokes and doing standup. And I met this young woman, Tracy Katzke. She was, like, fucking cool. Had, like, a beanie on, smoking cigarettes. I was like, oh, she's so cool. You know, and she was just like, my roommate is moving out. If you want to move in, there's a. I have a room, you know, And I go, all right. All my stuff was already in, like, a cardboard wardrobe box that was my closet. Just, like, taped it up. Moved to la. Didn't think about it. I think that's, like, a really good. A real gift to just not think about stuff and just do it. Like, any decision you make is just gonna get you wherever you're going. Like, you know, I mean, it's too scary to think of how so many things have to go right for you to be on TV or this or anything, you know, like, in this business, it's just, like, haphazard.
Sam Fragoso
But your intuition got you here.
Sarah Silverman
No, just, like, thoughtlessness, you know, Just like, all right, you want to do this? Okay. Things just happen.
Sam Fragoso
One of the things that happened that I think is pretty formative is that you appear on the Larry Sanders Show.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
And on that show, of course, you met the late Garry Shandling.
Sarah Silverman
Well, no, I met him earlier.
Sam Fragoso
You met him earlier, Right? You worked with him on the show.
Sarah Silverman
Yes, the way I met you, playing basketball.
Sam Fragoso
That's right.
Sarah Silverman
And Sundays became my greatest joy. Every Sunday, basketball at Gary's. And it was just like, whatever was going on in your life, whatever was happening, we had those Sundays, and they were just joy. And I was so in love with him, and he became such a good friend and mentor, you said once about him.
Sam Fragoso
He wanted us to learn what he had to learn the hard way. He served that to us on a silver platter. What did he want you to learn that he had to learn the hard way.
Sarah Silverman
The two things that pop out to me are, one was that no one is going to say that's too much for you, that you're the only one who can go, you know what? I can't do all that. And then just comedically in terms of standup, I learned so much about from him, you know, just the power of the quiet moments between the words, you know, and being comfortable in those silences to not be afraid of it. And that's something that's, you know, not just about standup. I mean, once I really understood it, I saw it all around me. I mean, with my dad, when we would talk on the phone all the time. And if there was a quiet moment, I think he was terrified in it because he would go and he didn't think anything of it. I'm sure he wasn't even conscious of it. But to hear that and realize at one point, you know, like, oh, he's terrified of the quiet moments.
Sam Fragoso
After the break, more from comedian Sarah Silverman.
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Sam Fragoso
You'Re on, the Larry Sanders Show. In the mid to late 90s at the turn of the century, you put out, you know, your first special, I think in 2005, the Sarah Silverman program in 2007. Now, as I said at the beginning of this, I do a lot of research for these and there's so much I really didn't remember about that special or that show, probably because I was like 10 or 11 years old. But I do remember some of it and I rewatched a lot.
Sarah Silverman
Wow.
Sam Fragoso
I wanted to know what that comedy was like in that period.
Sarah Silverman
Right. And that's what makes it art. Right. Cause you watch it now and it's like riddled with problematic stuff.
Sam Fragoso
Unbelievably.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
Some of it is really funny.
Sarah Silverman
It's totally different in the context of you and the world as it is.
Sam Fragoso
Absolutely. And some of it I'm like, Sarah, I know, right?
Sarah Silverman
No, not the Sarah you know.
Sam Fragoso
No, it is not. And it's not. So I am fascinated. You know, people have given you a lot of grief about the bits that probably don't play now. And that is what it is. But I'm curious, you have this quote in rolling stone in 2005.
Sarah Silverman
Oh, boy.
Sam Fragoso
Where you said, I can't believe anyone not being interested in exploring taboos. Maybe it is a thing where a Catholic school. Oh, no, Maybe it's the thing where a Catholic school worker needs only to see the word pussy to get off. But a sex worker needs 10 little people and a juggler, a comic needs to make jokes about the most taboo topics about race or AIDS or fucked up sex, to be able to get the full belly laugh for themselves.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. Okay.
Sam Fragoso
Is that how you saw it back then?
Sarah Silverman
I think that I. It was part of what I saw and part of, like, being influenced by comedy of that time. And it's interesting because there's a little bit of dishonesty there. And I believe in that. You can be dishonest in comedy. You could say, like, I mean, I think it's weird to say I have a cat if you don't have a cat. But I also, like, you know, I think in my first special, I said that my nana was a. Had a number on her arm and she didn't. She was like, born in America, but somebody's grandmother did. And that was okay for me. Like, so you find the lines or whatever. But what was dishonest about it was I said, like. And maybe it's true as well, but I go, some, like, what do I say? Some Christian, you said, maybe it is.
Sam Fragoso
A thing where a Catholic school worker needs only to see the word pussy to get off.
Sarah Silverman
Right. Okay, so how many times are you.
Sam Fragoso
Gonna make me say that?
Sarah Silverman
I'm sorry, forgive me. But I was that as a, you know, like a teenager. A friend of my older sister's, someone who lived in her dorm, gave me a Penthouse Forum when I was 13, and she had moved in with my dad, so it was just like in an empty room, bookshelf. And I would take it out every once in a while and just look at the word pussy to, like, masturbate as a teenager. That's all it took. I mean. Cause I couldn't even believe it. I mean, it had so much power.
Sam Fragoso
Wow.
Sarah Silverman
And then years later, as a comedian.
Sam Fragoso
It lost its power.
Sarah Silverman
It lost its power. It was like nothing. But for some reason I say, oh, a Catholic schoolworker need only to see the word. But that was me.
Sam Fragoso
That was you?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, it was me. Of course. I mean, all those things are so taboo. I mean, in a million years, I never thought I would talk about masturbation or wetting the bed or any of that stuff with ease and without immense shame.
Sam Fragoso
You know, if that's how you saw your work then in 2005, how did it change after that?
Sarah Silverman
Well, working on the Sarah Silver program was. And it was kind of born out of Jesus magic, which, like, it's also problematic, you know, in lots of ways. But it was all based on me playing Sarah Silverman, a character that's not me but named Sarah Silverman. And that character was this ignorant person who's wildly arrogant. And those two things together were really funny and kind of magical to me.
Sam Fragoso
An unreliable narrator.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. And so she did racist things, thinking that she was being inclusive. She did. You know, I mean, it really is like, in a way, a lot of it was like the track of a liberal who is saying, oh, it was only 12 years ago. Well, 12 years ago is like another time. And I got more political in my comedy. I got, you know, I was more active. I made a video for Obama to get young Jews to visit their grandparents in Florida and threaten not to visit if they don't vote for Obama. So I was doing all this stuff, but I was also in this show where I was playing a character. And of course, looking back on it, the right can use a lot of memes and a lot of things I said in that special in that show, and take the quote and put it with a picture of me speaking at the Democratic National Convention. And I got death threats because it was like, taking me from Jesus magic, saying, like, I'm glad the Jews killed Jesus. I'd do it again. Like a complete character moment and wildly, like, very, very clear. If you're in that audience, I'm taking transcript from that and putting it to a picture of me speaking at the Democratic National Convention. You know, I got a lot of death threats from that. There's a preacher saying killing me would be God's will. And. And he got really very visual about it, like, knocking my teeth out. And that's what really gave me the chills, like that element.
Sam Fragoso
So did the hate that came from that period, did that make you rethink what you wanted to do and how you wanted to do it?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, I mean. Well, a lot of it I talked about in my Hulu show. And. Yeah, and I brought things up that hadn't ever been brought up about, you know, like when I wore blackface on this or something. And it wasn't like I brought it up because it was about to come out or something. Like, I always try to use myself in ways that are unseemly, you know, and that episode where I'm in blackface, you know, most of the people in that episode are black. You know, there's like a. But you can't. Like, I talk about it on the Hulu show, and I'm very clear about it. And I know that I can't erase it from existence, but somehow somebody did. You cannot see that episode. And I guess that's a good thing. But there's a still photo of me, and that just has no context. It just looks like I put that on and thought it was funny. You know, there was context in the episode, and you're not allowed to say that, but there was. I'm not saying it's okay or that I do it now or that I don't very much wish I never did it, but there was.
Sam Fragoso
I think what I'm getting at is the character you were playing. It was this unreliable narrator.
Sarah Silverman
Right.
Sam Fragoso
The kind that Stephen Colbert made a career out of on the Colbert Report. And I do find it interesting that his show ended. And in many ways, your comedy kind of shifted right around the time Trump.
Sarah Silverman
Well, right.
Sam Fragoso
Started running for President.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
In 2015.
Sarah Silverman
Well, you know, it's funny because I had so much fun playing an ignorant, arrogant. But when the president became Donald Trump, who is exactly that pathology. He is an absolutely ignorant, arrogant. It wasn't so fun anymore.
Sam Fragoso
You mentioned I love you, America.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
The show came out in 2017, the year Trump starts his, I guess we can call it, presidency. And it seemed like it was a program deeply inspired by your love of Mr. Rogers.
Sarah Silverman
Yes.
Sam Fragoso
And I guess I'm wondering the thing you were after in that show. Compassion, kindness, talking to people across the.
Sarah Silverman
Aisle, face to face with people. And, you know, like, it was like, we aren't that different.
Sam Fragoso
Do you still believe that?
Sarah Silverman
I do. I mean, listen, I met with almost exclusively, like, Trump supporters and stuff and went to their house and put myself in a position where they were hosting me, they were taking care of me. I was like the odd man out, you know, and every single one of those homes I left, I felt loved by them. And I loved them. Even when they have things that are annoying or that I don't agree with, you can see in their eyes where it's coming from or what it has to do with or where, you know, that show. Like, we did two seasons, although they were called Season 1A and Season 1B. But I do feel like a good amount of people saw it for such a niche show. I mean, that's just, you know, like, every time a show I do is canceled or a pilot's not picked up, I always feel like, you know, they blew it. Why? They didn't get it. How could they? You know, it was like every reason why they were wrong, and it's just like, it's their channel, it's their. They could do what they want, you know, I was like, and I always get over it. And then I can't imagine doing it now. Like, you know, I don't know.
Sam Fragoso
Do you think you can't imagine doing it now because in some ways you're doing it on the podcast?
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, I think so, yeah. Because I remember like my agents going like, well, well, right before the pandemic, the special came out of a deal that was a pilot deal I did at hbo. I did a pilot right before the pandemic. And then they didn't pick it up and I was like, they blew it. What were they? You know, like, that's my reaction is like, wow, they made such a mistake, you know, but like, I have no desire to do it now because I get that itch satiated totally on my podcast where I can say anything I want.
Sam Fragoso
So the podcast itself, it features a lot of voicemails.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah, it's all voice. I'll usually say something at the beginning or I'll talk about something that's on my mind. Sometimes we go right into voicemails. But the trajectory of the show is.
Sam Fragoso
Always just the voicemails, people asking for advice.
Sarah Silverman
For the most part, yeah, you know, I'm loose on it. I'm silly, I suppose at times, and I talk about embarrassing things. But yeah, I'm not really in charge of the direction it goes, you know, which I like.
Sam Fragoso
I think that's kind of because your aim is to really hear the person out, the stranger that's called in. And I was thinking, because I was listening to it this morning and I thought, oh, it's strange, but the thing you're doing is connecting with people. And the way you're connecting with them really reminds me of how you've always described your father, which is someone who moved through the world like open hearted and open minded, who would go to Starbucks really early and just like talk to these women and befriend them.
Sarah Silverman
It was so hard to let people know about his funeral because he had so many, like, islands of friends. He had like his girlfriends from Starbucks, you know, that he just knows them from Starbucks. Or like, I mean, we were at Mendocino Farms and he loved being old because it gave him a whole new, like, level of connection with people because he got away. You can get away with so much, you know, people find it charming. Or. So we were at Mendocino Farms and these two, like huge musclehead guys are leaving and they stop at our table and put their fists in my dad's face and go, like, you know, like, see you around. But they had, like, they did some tough guy like, move with him, and they walk out and I was like, what was that? And he was laughing and he goes, oh, I was refilling my Coke and I saw them and they were all muscly. So I went over and I go, you know what? I feel like kicking some ass. And he, like, put his fists up to them, you know, like he was threatening them. And, you know, they of course thought it was adorable and stopped by the table all the way up. But there's always, like, he. There's always someone he's already connected with, you know, and it was so sweet. And I like that too. I'm a people person, you know, does that make sense?
Sam Fragoso
Like, do you feel in some ways this podcast of yours is, you know, you're not like an octogenarian, but it is a license to connect with people in a way that is human. I guess I'm trying to say, do you feel like you're doing what your dad always did and showed you?
Sarah Silverman
Yes. He loved connecting with people. Yeah, he was like a real people person guy, you know, Everyone loved him. I mean, he was like the go to friend to make a speech or a toast at the whatever, you know, but, yeah, that desire for connection, you know, to be brutally honest, maybe the desire to be loved by a stranger, you know, which is, of course, like the plight of comedians, you know, but, yeah, to connect with someone you don't, you know, in a grocery line or, you know, I don't know, my last.
Sam Fragoso
I guess, thing for you or my last question. We started this conversation talking about, you know, your dad. And it's been, what, a month? Not even. Not even a month. Three weeks.
Sarah Silverman
20 days.
Sam Fragoso
20 days. And it dawned on me that this new project of yours, this podcast, uses voicemails in such a great way. And there was really no one who mastered the art of the voicemail better than your father.
Sarah Silverman
Oh, my God, I wish I still had those messages.
Sam Fragoso
Well, I have a couple of them that were in your book. I thought as we leave, since this is on Father's Day.
Sarah Silverman
Yes.
Sam Fragoso
Wanted to read one of them in his voice.
Sarah Silverman
I would love to. Let's see. This is from 10, 14 years ago. Hey, baby, guess who? It's your daddy. Happy Shabbos. I said it because your friend Jeffrey Ross is in Israel and I've been spending time with your nieces. I took shishi. That's my niece, Ashira. To Chuck E. Cheese twice. She is so fucking cute. Give me a call when you get a chance. I leave in a couple of hours, but I'll be in my car for an hour or two. Know where I'm going? I'm going to my 50th fucking reunion of unhappy. It took. God, I remember this message. It took 50 fucking years to get here. Going through it. It was all those days with you and Lara and Jodine and Susie and Aggravation and business and blah, blah, blah. And you look back on it, it seemed like it took 20 minutes. Whole goddamn thing. It's amazing. Took so long to get here. Just to look back so quickly. Wow. So watch out. Cause you're only going one way, and that's older. And once you can. Yeah, this is so true. And once you can no longer do something, it's forever. I've been pretty goddamn lucky so far. I love you. That's my homily for. That's my homily for the day. I love you. Give me a call if you get a chance, like if you're walking your dog or something boring like that, and I'll talk to you later. Mwah. Shut off phone. No, that was him, Dear him. Wow. Isn't that funny? Like, now he's dead. And it has this beautiful meaning, and it is all so true. I mean, and it's really helped me, stuff like that. And also something that my sister said when I was dreading going to camp, which was every year, because I just pissed myself every single night. And it was a nightmare. And. But she said, you know what? You're gonna go through it and it's all gonna be a memory. And that's that. It's like so long life, but then when you look back on it, it's a blip. So every shitty thing you have to do that you don't wanna do, you just, like, exist through it. It probably won't even be as bad as you think. And when it's over, it's just like another blip. But one of those messages I know was. And I know my heart, he goes, I know you're a big Hollywood hotshot now, but if you get a chance in your busy schedule, maybe you could give the guy a call back who gave you life. I used to wipe the shit out from your tuckus. Maybe you could find a minute for me.
Sam Fragoso
It was fucking disgusting. All right.
Sarah Silverman
Is that what he says at the end? Oh, my God. Here it is. I remember when you were a tiny baby. I had to lift Those tiny legs and wipe the shit out of your Tuckers. It was fucking disgusting. All right, if you get a chance, I know you're busy. Give a call back to the guy who gave you life. Love you. Bye.
Sam Fragoso
Yeah, that line. It took so long to get here, just to look back so quickly.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. My God, it's deep.
Sam Fragoso
We've gone through shit. 52 years of time.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah.
Sam Fragoso
I don't know how you hold that line now that he's been gone. Fuck. Only 20 days. But that's just. I don't know. There's so much. When I read that in your book, I started. I lost it. Oh, yeah.
Sarah Silverman
Yeah. Look at that. Like, now that has a whole new meaning. You know, it's interesting. He was awesome. But this is what is.
Sam Fragoso
If we both didn't love Garry Shandling, we would be uncomfortable with this moment.
Sarah Silverman
That's right. For the people at home, Sam really looks like he might cry. And I am dead inside completely.
Sam Fragoso
For people at home. I was going to cry, and then I realized Sarah doesn't do well with tears. So I just.
Sarah Silverman
You know, this is an excellent ending and you'll end it here. But talking about connection and getting that from my dad, I mean, he loved sports because of that. He loved playing tennis or whatever. And like, that was basketball for me. I say was because I don't know if I. I don't know if I'll be back. Maybe I'll give it a try, but.
Sam Fragoso
I guess, what can we do to pull you out of retirement?
Sarah Silverman
You know what? It was my joy playing basketball. It's so wonderful, like, just connecting with people and meeting friends through all sorts of different things. But, you know, it doesn't age well. Basketball, but boy, I love it so much. And I was really, like, I would quit like a half hour early and stretch, and so maybe I'll go back. I kind of thought to myself, well, maybe I'll just play half court games. But I really miss the Sunday game.
Sam Fragoso
Well, we've talked about a lot of things that haven't aged well.
Sarah Silverman
That's true. That's true. This is actually perfect.
Sam Fragoso
But I'm hoping that this podcast does.
Sarah Silverman
Thank you. Me too.
Sam Fragoso
I think it will. And in the spirit of your show and for this Father's Day episode, we are winding down.
Sarah Silverman
Oh, dad.
Sam Fragoso
And I thank you so much for coming on, for sharing as much as you have. You know, for putting that sign up.
Sarah Silverman
At that party that said no solicitation, no podcast solicitations.
Sam Fragoso
Sarah Silverman. A joy.
Sarah Silverman
Thank you. You Mexican. Oh, no, he's half Mexican.
Sam Fragoso
Please end the tape there.
Sarah Silverman
Can we end it or like a little before?
Sam Fragoso
Oh my. Bye, sir.
Sarah Silverman
Sam SA.
Unknown
And that's our show. If you enjoyed today's episode with Sarah Silverman, leave us five stars on Spotify. View the show on Apple. Share it on social media. Whatever you do, it really does help us continue making this program each and every Sunday. Sarah's new special postmortem is now available to watch exclusively on Netflix. For more talks with other great comedians fans, I'd recommend Julia Louis Dreyfus, Quinta Brunson, Nick Kroll and Seth Rogen. To hear those and more Lemonada podcasts, listen on Apple, Spotify or wherever you like to listen. You can also subscribe to Lemonada Premium. For bonus content, just hit the subscribe button on Apple or head to lemonadapremium.com Talk Easy is produced by Caroline Reebok. Our executive producer is Nixa Bravo. Today's Talk was originally edited by Caitlin Dryden with assistance from Adam Jamal and mix by Andrew Vastola. Our music is by Dylan Peck. Our illustrations Krisha Shanoi Photographs today come from Julius Chu. This episode was made in partnership with the good people at Lemanada Media and I'm Sam Frucoso. Thank you for listening to Talk Easy. I'll see you back here on Sunday with the brand new episode. Until then, stay safe and so long.
Sarah Silverman
SA.
Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso: Play It Again – Sarah Silverman (‘PostMortem’) Released on May 21, 2025
In this heartfelt and candid episode of "Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso", host Sam Fragoso engages in a profound conversation with acclaimed comedian and actress Sarah Silverman. Recorded in the spring of 2023, the discussion delves deep into Silverman's personal journey through grief, her evolution in comedy, and the creation of her Netflix special, "PostMortem". This summary captures the essence of their intimate dialogue, highlighting key topics, insightful revelations, and memorable quotes.
The episode opens with a nostalgic recount of Silverman's early interactions with Fragoso, reminiscing about memorable parties and their shared love for basketball. Fragoso introduces the impetus for this conversation—the recent passing of Silverman's father, Donald, and stepmother, Janice, merely nine days apart. This profound loss inspired her latest Netflix special, "PostMortem", which intertwines humor with the rawness of grief.
Notable Quote:
Sam Fragoso [05:35]: "It feels a little disingenuous for me to start anywhere else, I think."
Silverman opens up about the tumultuous period following her parents' passing, describing how she channelled her grief into her work. She shares poignant memories of caring for her father in his final days, emphasizing the deep personal connection and love they shared. This vulnerability is a cornerstone of "PostMortem", where she balances humor with heartfelt moments.
Notable Quote:
Sarah Silverman [06:15]: "I was in the hallway talking to his doctor and then go back into his bedroom and go, dad, no more medication."
Delving into her adolescence, Silverman recounts her battle with depression and bedwetting during a pivotal school camping trip. These early challenges shaped her resilience and fueled her passion for comedy. Her experience with ineffective therapies and the tragic death of her psychiatrist underscore the complexities of her journey toward self-acceptance and artistic expression.
Notable Quote:
Sarah Silverman [17:03]: "I was terrified of going a chronic bedwetter. I had to hide Pampers, large sized Pampers in my sleeping bag."
Silverman's move to Los Angeles marked the beginning of her stand-up career, characterized by perseverance despite setbacks, including her unexpected departure from Saturday Night Live. She discusses the emotional aftermath of being fired and how it propelled her to deepen her commitment to stand-up, ultimately leading to her success.
Notable Quote:
Sarah Silverman [31:42]: "Comics are lucky. Like, we have standup. So I just, like, went back to one, you know, and just kept writing jokes and doing standup."
Reflecting on her early work, including "Jesus is Magic" and "The Sarah Silverman Program", Silverman acknowledges the problematic aspects by today's standards. She discusses the shift in her comedic approach, becoming more politically active and sensitive to the evolving societal landscape, especially in the wake of Donald Trump's presidency.
Notable Quote:
Sarah Silverman [46:20]: "When the president became Donald Trump, who is exactly that pathology. He is absolutely ignorant, arrogant. It wasn't so fun anymore."
Sam highlights the similarities between Silverman's approach to her podcast and her father's innate ability to connect with people. Silverman emphasizes how her podcast serves as an extension of her father's legacy, fostering genuine human connections through voicemails and personal anecdotes. This platform allows her to offer advice, share musings, and maintain an open line of communication with listeners.
Notable Quote:
Sarah Silverman [51:51]: "He was like a real people person guy, you know, Everyone loved him."
As the conversation draws to a close, Silverman reads a heartfelt voicemail from her late father, showcasing the enduring bond and the lessons he imparted. This segment underscores the profound influence her father had on her life and career, encapsulating themes of love, resilience, and the passage of time.
Notable Quote:
Sarah Silverman [53:19]: "I've been pretty goddamn lucky so far. I love you."
This episode of "Talk Easy with Sam Fragoso" offers an unfiltered glimpse into Sarah Silverman's profound experiences with loss, her journey through comedy, and the enduring impact of her father's legacy. Through shared memories, personal struggles, and professional triumphs, Silverman articulates a narrative of healing and connection, reinforcing the essence of her work in "PostMortem".
Key Takeaways:
For those who haven't listened to the episode, this summary encapsulates the emotional depth and comedic brilliance that Sarah Silverman brings to her craft, offering inspiration and insight into the human experience.