Alexandra Kaehler // From a Lifestyle Blog to a Next Wave Designer

Summary

Podcast Summary: Talk Shop with Ariel Okin – Episode Featuring Alexandra Kahler

Podcast Information:

• Title: Talk Shop with Ariel Okin: A Fenimore Lane Production
• Host: Ariel Okin
• Guest: Alexandra Kahler
• Episode Title: From a Lifestyle Blog to a Next Wave Designer
• Release Date: October 23, 2024

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Introduction

In the October 23, 2024 episode of Talk Shop with Ariel Okin, host Ariel Okin welcomes Alexandra Kahler—a renowned interior designer recognized on House Beautiful's Next Wave and Lux magazine's Gold List. Alexandra shares her inspiring journey from launching a lifestyle blog to establishing her successful interior design firm, Alexandra Kahler Design, based in Chicago.

Career Journey: From Advertising to Interior Design

Alexandra began her professional path in advertising, landing her dream job at Ogilvy shortly after graduating college. However, she swiftly realized that advertising did not align with her creative aspirations. Reflecting on her transition, Alexandra shares:

"I started in advertising, working on the Glade fragrance line. It wasn't the creative job I envisioned, so I began a lifestyle blog as a creative outlet [00:48]."

Her blog, initiated in 2009, served as a platform to collect inspiring images and express her passion for interior design. The blog’s success and supportive community encouraged her to pivot fully into design. Within days of deciding to change careers, Alexandra enrolled in Harrington College of Design and simultaneously continued to nurture her blog.

Establishing Alexandra Kahler Design

By 2011, Alexandra founded Alexandra Kahler Design. Her inaugural project involved designing two bathrooms for a condo owner, which significantly helped in legitimizing her design skills despite having no formal portfolio at the time. Alexandra emphasizes the importance of seizing opportunities:

"If I have a client who's worried about [my abilities], then they're not my client. It's not the person for me [12:40]."

This pivotal project not only kickstarted her career but also established a foundation of confidence and trust with her clients.

Design Philosophy: Comfortable, Livable, Meaningful

When asked to describe her style, Alexandra chose words that embody her approach to design:

“Comfortable, livable, and meaningful [02:23].”

She believes that a home should be filled with things you love, fostering an environment where nothing is too fragile or delicate to enjoy fully. This philosophy extends to her firm’s work, ensuring that each space she designs is both functional and deeply personal.

Evolution of Design Style Over a Decade

Over more than ten years, Alexandra’s design style has evolved significantly. Initially inclined towards contemporary and modern aesthetics influenced by her mother, she gradually embraced traditional elements, antiques, and florals. This blend creates spaces that feel both timeless and fresh. She notes:

"I love antiques, florals, and things that once felt 'granny'—now I really embrace that [19:17]."

Her continuous learning and exposure to diverse design elements ensure that her projects remain unique and reflective of her clients’ personalities.

The Role of Social Media and Authenticity

Alexandra’s blog laid the groundwork for her authentic presence on social media. Although she has since shifted to Instagram, her commitment to genuine sharing remains steadfast. She openly discusses personal aspects, including mental health, to build trust and connection with her audience:

"Home is everything. I’m putting a lot of my life out there on social media in an authentic way [14:41]."

This transparency not only humanizes her brand but also attracts clients who value honesty and relatability.

Supportive Community and Mentorship

While Alexandra hasn’t had a single mentor, she credits her success to a robust and supportive community of fellow designers. These connections provide invaluable advice and support, fostering a collaborative environment:

"I have an unbelievable, supportive community of designers who I've connected with. I'm endlessly grateful [27:22]."

Monthly gatherings with fellow female designers, dubbed “wine and wine,” allow her to share experiences and solutions, reinforcing the importance of a strong professional network.

Personal Inspirations and Influences

Alexandra draws inspiration from a variety of sources, with a notable emphasis on nature:

"The outdoors are hugely influential in the way that I view the indoors. It's grounding [32:44]."

Her family's diverse aesthetic preferences have also profoundly shaped her design perspective. Her grandmother, a style icon at nearly 96 years old, and her parents' contrasting design tastes provided a rich tapestry of influences during her formative years.

Highlights from Rapid Fire Questions

In the rapid-fire segment, Alexandra shares personal favorites that offer deeper insight into her personality:

• Favorite Food: All forms of carbs.
• Favorite Drink: Primarily water; when indulging, rosé or margaritas.
• Favorite Film: Classics like My Fair Lady, Gigi, and The Wizard of Oz.
• Favorite Hotel: Hotel de Russie in Rome, cherished for its secret garden.
• Favorite City: Nantucket, though she clarifies her favorite travel destination isn’t strictly a city.
• Favorite Bedding: Sephirah Giza duvet, renowned for its quality.
• Favorite Weekend Activity: Being outside with her family.
• Favorite Design Book: David Adler Country Houses, appreciating its exquisite detail and historic significance.

Current and Upcoming Projects

Alexandra is currently engaged in two major projects:

1. Publishing Her Book: Slated for fall 2025 with Monocle Phaedon, her book promises a unique take on traditional design, featuring numerous new projects.
2. Home Renovation: Alexandra is renovating her own pre-war house in the Chicago suburbs. This personal project allows her to apply her extensive experience in a deeply meaningful way.

"It's a creatively challenging experience, but it's so fun. We're moving the first week of January [42:33]."

Advice for Aspiring Designers

Alexandra imparts two crucial pieces of advice for those defining their interior style:

1. Trust Your Gut and Be Confident: Belief in one’s skills fosters client confidence.

   “If you exude confidence, then your clients will pick up on that confidence and they will in turn be confident with you [29:19].”

2. Continuous Learning: Embrace every opportunity to learn and keep an open mind.

   "Learn as much as you can and don't ever feel like you've got this figured out. There's always new ways of looking at things [44:10]."

She also emphasizes the importance of authenticity over chasing trends, advocating for making design choices based on genuine love rather than fleeting popularity.

Conclusion

Alexandra Kahler’s journey from a lifestyle blogger to a celebrated interior designer is a testament to passion, resilience, and authentic connection. Her emphasis on creating comfortable, meaningful spaces, combined with her transparent approach on social media, has solidified her reputation in the design community. As she continues to expand her portfolio with her upcoming book and personal projects, Alexandra remains an inspiring figure for aspiring designers seeking to carve their own unique paths.

Where to Follow Alexandra Kahler:

• Instagram: @alexkahlerdesign
• Book Release: Fall 2025 on Monocle Phaedon

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Alexandra Kahler [00:00]: "Trust your gut and just be confident. If you feel in yourself that you have this skill and talent, you probably do."

• Alexandra Kahler [02:23]: "Comfortable, livable, and meaningful."

• Alexandra Kahler [09:38]: “Someone made me realize I could make something of my blog, and that motivated me to commit fully."

• Alexandra Kahler [14:22]: "I'm a sharer, often an oversharer, and the blog was a platform to do that."

• Alexandra Kahler [19:17]: "I love antiques, florals, and things that once felt like granny—now I really embrace that."

• Alexandra Kahler [27:49]: "I have an unbelievable, supportive community of designers who I've connected with."

• Alexandra Kahler [29:19]: "Trust your gut and just be confident..."

• Alexandra Kahler [44:10]: "Learn as much as you can and don't ever feel like you've got this figured out."

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This comprehensive summary encapsulates the essence of Alexandra Kahler's episode on Talk Shop with Ariel Okin, offering insights into her professional journey, design philosophy, personal inspirations, and invaluable advice for budding interior designers.

Transcript

[Alexandra Kahler]

First is to trust your gut and just be confident. If you feel in yourself that you have this skill and talent, you probably do. And so the most important thing is to remember that there is someone else who would do it differently. But that doesn't mean that how you're doing it is incorrect. And if you exude confidence, then your clients will pick up on that confidence and they will in turn be confident with you.

[Arielle Okin]

Welcome to Talkshop. I'm Arielle Okin, a New York based interior designer, writer and editor looking to bring a little bit of magic into our homes every day. Day after years as a writer and editor in the interiors world, I founded my own editorial site, Fenimore Lane, in 2020 and the Talk Shop Interview series was born. Each week I delve into the personal experiences of the top interior designers and tastemakers around the globe. This week I'm joined by a designer who found her calling for interiors through her lifestyle blog that she started on the side of her day job back in 2009. Alexandra Kahler, or Alex, is a talented interior designer whose work has been recognized on prestigious industry lists such as House Beautiful's Next Wave and Lux magazine's Gold List. After growing up in the suburbs, Alex began what she believed to be her dream career in advertising. But she soon realized interior design was her actual calling. Through her blog and a postgraduate program at Harrington College of Design, Alex began to take on clients and eventually opened her firm, Alexandra Khlar Design, in 2011. Alex believes the most important element of design is to fill your home with things you love. Nothing should be too fragile or delicate that you can't enjoy it. If you ask Alex, a home is meant to be loved and lived in. And we agree. More than a decade out since founding her firm, Alex still calls Chicago home. With her husband and children, her beautiful work has been featured in numerous publications and websites including House Beautiful, Domino, Lux, Vogue, Chicago Tribune, and the Wall Street Journal. You can follow the behind the scenes of her own home renovation of historic property in the Chicago suburbs and more on her Instagram account, lexkalerdesign. I'm so happy to have my friend on the show today, so please join me as we welcome Alex to the podcast. Alex, welcome to the podcast. I'm so excited to have you on.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so excited to be here.

[Arielle Okin]

Oh my God, me too. Well, I'm sure you know, but to kick off the conversation, can you describe your style in three words or less?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Okay, I had to really think about this one because I Feel like so many of your guests have had really, like, thoughtful, interesting answers. And so rather than think in, like, aesthetic terms, I thought about what I really want my style to convey. So comfortable, livable, and meaningful.

[Arielle Okin]

I love that. And it's true. I mean, ultimately, that's like, the end usage is, like, the most important part, you know, of it. Yeah, I love that. So for everybody listening, can you tell us a little bit about yourself and where you are at this point in your career?

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I'm an interior designer in Chicago, in the Chicago area. I have a small firm that focuses mostly on residential interior design, and I've been doing it since 2011. So now it feels like we've kind of been around for a little while.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Trying to do our best and enjoying it. And we're coming out with a book next year, so that's been a big focus of things.

[Arielle Okin]

I know. Which I'm so excited about, and I can't wait to see it. Well, walk us through your career so far, because you had a really interesting pivot into design. And I always love to talk about career pivots because I also pivoted into design. And so you sort of started out with, like, your dream job in advertising and then quickly kind of realized that design was your calling. And you were really early in the blog space. You started a lifestyle blog in 2009. What did that look like? And how did that sort of unfold? And how did you realize that design was really where you were meant to be?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah, it was definitely not a straight path for me. When I was a senior in college, I just. I was ready for the workforce. I was never really a student. I never loved school, and I was excited to graduate and get a job and start working. And so I applied for jobs like a fiend my senior year. And I had dreams of being at a big advertising firm with a big name and big clients, and I ultimately landed at Ogilvy, which is a big Chicago firm. Yeah, I was so excited. It really. It felt like my dream job. It felt like everything I had been working towards, I started three days after I graduated college. There was no break for me, and I got there, and I just, like, pretty quickly realized it was not. It wasn't the fantasy, which.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Which is okay. And I think, like, any job can feel that way sometimes. And so.

[Arielle Okin]

But it's like a visceral. It's so funny because I. After grad school, I ended up at Edelman, and I had the same visceral response. I was like, this is just Not. It was like, my dream job. I was so excited. And then I got there and I was like, oh, this is actually, like, not what I want to be doing. Like, it was just not fulfilling well.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And I think, like, marketing and advertising in PR has such a sexiness to it. And then you get there and you're like, oh, I'm horrible. Hours. There is no sexiness. Once you're there, it's hard.

[Arielle Okin]

And the hours are long.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And the hours are long and you're getting paid nothing. And, like, Listen, I was 22, and I was like, this is a place to start. And I was working on SC Johnson. And so I felt like that was really exciting to be on a big client like that with such a recognizable product. I worked mostly on the Glade fragrance line. And so aesthetically, I felt like, okay, this was at least. At least I'm not doing, like, the cleaning products, you know? And not that there's anything wrong with that. It just wasn't what I'm working on. So after about a year, I just felt like I needed a little bit more of a creative outlet. It definitely was not, like, the creative job that I was thinking it was going to be, because I was in account management. And so I started a blog. And this was like, this was before Pinterest. And it was really just a place to collect images that you thought were beautiful and inspiring and make little collages on PowerPoint of outfits you wanted to wear. And it was really fun, and it was creative, and it was exciting, and it felt like this perfect little side project for me. It was something that didn't require a ton of time. There was no advertising. It was just truly for enjoyment.

[Arielle Okin]

Those were, like, the early days of it, too.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yes, very early days of it. And it was this really wonderful community of people who were just supportive and excited for each other. So I was doing that. I did that for a while, and then I had a moment where it was just clear that my job at Ogilvy was not for the long term. And so I started interviewing at some boutique firms. And I felt like if I was at a boutique advertising agency or boutique marketing agency, I would get my hand in more of the parts that I was excited about. And that felt like the right path. And so I quit. And while I was interviewing at these other spots and I was talking to one of my closest childhood friends who I've been best friends with Since I was 2, she was like, listen, if you want to keep doing marketing, keep doing marketing, but you have this blog and it feels like it's turning into something kind of cool. And all you write about is interior design. And you've always loved interior design. Like, you were choosing bedding for me when we were eight years old, which is true. I was, like, designing all my friends dorm rooms before we left for college.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, that was like, me, exactly.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's like, you do know it's in there, even if it's kind of buried. But all I needed was someone to just kind say it. And I was like, wow. Yeah, okay, done. I think within, like, 48 hours, I had applied to design school.

[Arielle Okin]

That's amazing.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Like, I was 24. I did not have a lot of expenses other than just taking care of myself. So I got into Harrington College of Design, which is a design. It was a design school in Chicago. It is no longer, but it was sort of the design school here. And I talked to a few people that I knew who had gone there and had really positive experiences, and I just dove in. I was so excited. And I think what also was really fun for me is that I kept blogging the whole time. And so I had this creative outlet that felt like it was sort of leading up to something, and that was really fun. And so all through design school, I worked on my blog. And then in my last semester of school, I got engaged and I was planning my wedding. And that felt like a really fun creative outlet. And I had one more class, which was like an autocad details class, and that was all I needed to graduate. And I was like, I cannot bring myself back to school for this one class. Like, I just can't do it. Sort of mortifying because it would have been, you know, first of all, it would have been a helpful class to take, but also, like, such a small commitment in the scheme of things, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

[Arielle Okin]

I've heard other stories of people. I think David Netto, like, has talked about how he, like, dropped out of architecture school or something.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Okay, so I'm in good company. It's not.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, very good company.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And I really felt, like, so deeply that design was something you either had or you didn't. And school was great to put on your resume, and it was great in helping you learn certain specific things, but it was not a mandatory for what I wanted to do.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, I believe that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

But I just remember being in one of my final presentations in school, and my teacher asking me what my plan was after the semester. And, well, I have this blog, and someone reached out to me design their bathroom And I might just kind of give it a go. She made me feel like it was the silliest waste of my time, like nothing would ever come from it.

[Arielle Okin]

I hate that so much. It, like incenses me too.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And. But in a way, it almost lit a fire under me because I was like, you know what? I actually really think I can make something of this. And.

[Arielle Okin]

And I'm going to show you.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah. Yeah. And I don't. I don't even remember who she was or, you know, it was so. It was so meaningless in the scheme, but it was motivating. And so, you know, I started putting a little bit more time and effort into my blog. And like I said, someone had reached out to me and said, you know, we know you're just finishing up school and you don't have a resume or a portfolio, but we really like your eye. And we have these two very builder grade bathrooms in our condo and we just want to make them fun and have some personality. Would you help us? There was no construction involved. I didn't need to know anything technical. I had so much fun with it. We did a mural and we did wallpaper, and I had my mom's friend who's a photographer take a few pictures from my blog. All of the sudden it was like that legitimized me in a way that I was sort of like, okay, I can do something with this. And so I had some pictures taken of my apartment and you know, they were like little vignettes because at this point, I'm 27 years old and it's not like I have this super exciting space to share, but I felt like I'd put a lot of thought into it and I just kept sharing on my blog. And all of a sudden I realized, like, I kind of had a business and I had it by accident, but there was some traction there. And so I decided to really commit. And I just was like, in this, what I call, like a constant intake mode. I just was like, I want to learn at every opportunity and talk to every person. And it was to the point where I was calling my mom's friend who was a designer and being like, how do I open an account at Schumacher?

[Arielle Okin]

Like, what, what do I. Yeah, I had that same experience in the beginning. I. And I'm so grateful to everybody who sat down with me in those early days because I learned so much from everyone.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's so helpful and I feel the same way. I feel indebted to those people who took the time to talk to me. And I try to pay that forward whenever I can. Yeah. So that's kind of how it all came to be. And then my sister was in college, and she was working as a receptionist at a gym, and she was speaking to one of the instruct, and the instructor said, I know you grew up around the North Shore. Did your parents ever use a designer that they really liked? My husband and I just bought a house up there, and we have an architect and a builder, but we need a designer. And my sister gave her my name, and I went to her and interviewed for this job, and I was totally straightforward and said, I have basically no portfolio to show you.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And you're going to kind of have to just be patient with me as we go through this, but I think we can make it amazing. She was incredible and had so much confidence in me when I didn't have it in myself. And I feel like I owe, honestly, most of my career towards her and her and I have stayed friends all these years later. And she's so lovely, and I. I can tie so many of my clients over the years back to her and her referrals, and sometimes that's all it takes is just that one.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, it just takes one project. We had a project very early on that similarly, like, the client kind of knew that I was young and starting, and she had done it a bunch of times. It was like a pied a tear for them. And she'd worked with designers before, and she kind of knew the ropes herself, you know, and she took a chance on me. It kind of kickstarted my career. And you just have to be so grateful for those people who can spot an eye early on and say, you know what? I'm going to give the person a chance and let them fly. It's awesome.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It is. And I think in their mind, they're probably like, hey, this is a bargain, and that's great. I was more than happy to be the bargain. And to your point, when you have a client who's been through it, like, that can be an education.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah. Projects like that can really. You get lucky, and they just kick off your whole career in the blog space. What were those early days like? Like, have you found any specific learnings from the blog that you've been able to bring into your design?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah, in little ways. I mean, I think that it helped me identify what I liked and what was authentic to me versus just what was pretty.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And then I also think what I really realized is that I'm a sharer, often an oversharer, and the blog was a platform to do that. Although I stopped blogging quite a while ago. I feel like Instagram has given me a way to share bits and pieces.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

So much of what I've built my business on is wanting this really authentic exchange between me and my clients.

[Arielle Okin]

And that really comes through in the way you write and how open you are on Instagram. I mean, I think.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thank you.

[Arielle Okin]

No, I mean it. And I think it helps you build an authentic audience because people feel like they're getting you and not some, you know, canned idea of what interior design is like, you know?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Well, and that's my hope. You know, I. I'll never forget I posted on Instagram years ago about a panic attack that I had had, and it had nothing to do with work. It was completely separate, but I felt it like mental health and anxiety and things like that are such an important part of my life and who I am that it felt inauthentic to not share it.

[Arielle Okin]

And it's so humanizing.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Right.

[Arielle Okin]

Like, so many of us deal with anxiety. If you're following someone and they're posting about that and you're sort of, like, silently struggling with it, like, seeing somebody that you follow talk about it, it's actually really profound and makes a big difference.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Exactly. And that's how I feel so deeply. I shared that. And then the next day, I was talking to my dad, who's this, like, consummate businessman, and he has such an incredible perspective on business and clients and customer service, and I trust him so implicitly. And he was like, you know, you should be careful about sharing that kind of stuff, because the last thing you want is a client to see it and think like, ooh, is she gonna have a panic attack? When she's like, at my house? Is this a vulnerability? And I looked at him and I was like, I hear you. But if. If I have a client who's worried about that, then they're not my client. Like, they're not. It's not the person for me.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah. And that's also like an old school mentality, you know, And I feel like now people are more open and. And honest and vulnerable and all of those things, which are good things. And I think it helps you connect with an audience.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah, that's my hope. And at the end of the day, I'm not a blogger, I'm not an influencer. I'm not trying to be one, but I am human. And I'm putting a lot of my life out there on social media as a way to gather clients and have people become familiar with my work. And if I'm going to do that, I feel just a personal responsibility to do it in an authentic way. And I think there's a lot of people who build incredible social media followings without doing that. In some ways, I wish I was one of those people. It's just not, it's just not true.

[Arielle Okin]

To me, I think it's really beautiful and I think it helps people feel like they know you, you know, when you're, if you're following, let's say there's so many inspiration accounts out there and they're just sort of like reposting other people's work and whatever and they're beautiful to follow. But you actually like have no idea who's behind.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Right.

[Arielle Okin]

People know who you are and they're following your behind the scenes of, you know, from the beginning to end of what you're working on at a specific project or you're sharing the behind the scenes of your book. Like, people get excited about that stuff. And I personally love following you and love seeing what you post.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thank you. I really appreciate that and I feel the same way about you. And I, you know, I don't know your kids, but they're adorable and I love seeing pictures of them. And I think it's just fun, to your point, to get a face behind the name and understand where the perspective is coming from. You know, social media can be a tough and kind of toxic place when you're comparing all the prettiness. It feels important to me to kind of break that up with some of the real stuff.

[Arielle Okin]

How do you think you've seen your design evolve over the last, you know, decade plus? You started from a bathroom and now you're working on these unbelievable, you know, ground up builds and full guts. And you've grown your business so much over the course of 10 plus years. How has it changed? And are there any specific projects you're particularly proud of too?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah, it has changed. And I think that, you know, there are certain things that have stayed just true to me and my taste. But I think in the beginning I was much more resistant to traditional design. I wanted something that felt a little bit more contemporary and a little bit more, I guess, modern in a way. I think part of that was my mom's influence and my mom's taste can err a little bit more modern. And so that was kind of what I was exposed to. But then my dad and my grandparents were uber, uber traditional. And so I saw all of it and I Think I spent a lot of my 20s kind of sorting through, okay, this is what I lived in and what I like, but what. What do I actually feel really good in?

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And I think as time went on, I just found that I love antiques, and I love florals, and I love the things that, you know, once upon a time felt like granny. Now I really embrace that. And there's still, you know, I still have clients who come to me who want something a little bit more contemporary, and I love sort of pushing that boundary for myself. And I always add a lot of contemporary art. And I think, you know, on the scale of traditional, I'm certainly not the most traditional of designers, but I kind of fall into that category in some ways. And I think that if you're a good designer, you're constantly evolving and, you know, kind of like what I referred to before in that constant intake mode, like, you're just. You're learning and you're exposing yourself to new things and trying new things and experimenting with design elements.

[Arielle Okin]

It helps also to help your projects keep looking different and unique to the client. And every time you're working on a new project, you're growing because you're learning constantly.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Exactly.

[Arielle Okin]

And I think it's really important to keep in mind when you're working is just kind of like, always keep your eye open. I think that's one of the biggest things that I've learned from doing this podcast and speaking to so many great designers is like, they are always learning and looking and absorbing information. And it's been a really helpful lesson for me too, for sure.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And that's. I mean, that's why I love listening to your podcast, because that's part of that, like, learning and exposing yourself and hearing other people's perspectives. You know, people have asked me about, like, the process of doing this book, and one thing I've loved the most that has been so unexpected is just learning something new. I never knew anything, anything about publishing. I never knew all the things that went into the process of writing a book. And I've just loved learning an entirely new skill set and looking at my work from an entirely different perspective. And I think that at every stage of life, there are opportunities to do that and expose yourself and really do a deep dive into something new. As a creative, it feels even more important.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, it is. The book process is so cool. And you're right. It forces you to crystallize your point of view and also to take a deep dive in each project and really think about what was the starting point here, how did we end up where we ended up? And like, what's the through line that someone's going to come back after reading this with a take home of some piece of helpful information? It's a very fascinating process. For sure.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It is. And I think sometimes with design, you're building up to this install, and it takes you years to get there. And then your client moves in and you're like, oh, my gosh, I need a nap.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah. And it's years and years of work.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Right. And you're not reflecting, you're not dissecting. It's just sort of like, okay, I'm running a business. It's on to the next now.

[Arielle Okin]

Exactly. Yeah. No, this kind of gives you that sense of satisfaction, looking back at what you've accomplished and seeing it laid out. I'm so excited for you. I can't wait to get your book. I can't wait to read it.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thanks. I can't wait to get yours. It's so fun.

[Arielle Okin]

Speaking about process, is there a favorite element about the design process for you?

[Alexandra Kahler]

I am textile obsessed. I could just like Snow angel in a pile of fabrics, and I just. I love it. I'm so inspired by textiles. I love all these little boutique, like, tiny textile brands that are popping up.

[Arielle Okin]

I know, it's really inspiring seeing all of the new, Like, I love design social because you find these great tiny brands that, like, you wouldn't know about otherwise.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Exactly. And there's just so many beautiful things out there. And it's amazing to me that you can still see something fresh and different after, you know, all these different lines and iterations. But there is always something new and exciting. And I just. I love that world of textiles. And that's how all of my designs begin, is by pulling textiles.

[Arielle Okin]

And you mix textiles so beautifully and in such a unique way. I feel like pattern and color is really a big hallmark of your work. It's very happy and fresh and layered. It's traditional, but it's contemporary. And so that makes sense that sort of starting with the textiles is where it is for you. Is there a design rule that you always follow, or is there one that you think that's made to be broken?

[Alexandra Kahler]

I am such a rule follower by nature in life, not necessarily in my job, but just in life. And so this was sort of a fun thing for me to reflect on because I think there's just some standard golden rules in design, like space plan first, and then source second. Like, that, to me, feels like the most important thing, because you can find a really spectacular chair, but if the scale is totally off, it doesn't matter how pretty it is. That's just something that I would say is kind of my golden rule and then a rule that's meant to be broken. I really. I think what I have been seeing is that because of social media and this overexposure to so much design work, like, thing before, it used to be, like, if it didn't make it into a magazine, you weren't seeing it right. And now you're seeing everything. And so I think things get labeled as a trend when we see a lot of them. And so I really try to avoid labeling something as a trend, because I think what ends up happening is like, this morning on Instagram, someone wrote into my Q and A asking if I like mural wallpapers. I was like, I love mural wallpapers. They are so timeless. They are so classic. I know we're seeing them a lot right now, but that has nothing to do with how beautiful they are.

[Arielle Okin]

It's amazing because it can highlight and grow your business and help connect you with other people who enjoy the same things that you enjoy. But it also can, because it's showing you all the same things that you enjoy. It can almost, like, render something so special and beautiful less special and beautiful because you keep seeing it over and over again, 100%.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And I really, I try. I'm doing my own house right now, my new house. And I love a checkerboard floor. It is classic. I. Independently of how many times I see it on Instagram, I love it. And so I'm trying to just make decisions based on loving something. So my really long, convoluted answer to your question is that I think the rule that I break is to not label things a trend.

[Arielle Okin]

I'm with you. I just completely issue trends, and I try to just not think about, you know, what's in or what's out or whatever. You just sort of have to go by your own guiding principles and what you think looks good and also what you personally think will be timeless for you. I think that's also really important, for sure.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Because, like, people will say to me, you know, I don't know if I can commit to a patterned sofa or a bold wallpaper. Like, I don't want to get sick of it. And the idea of getting sick of something is so foreign to me because if you love it, yeah, you're not.

[Arielle Okin]

It's going to bring you joy every time you see it.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Exactly.

[Arielle Okin]

And also, I think for those types of clients who are afraid to take a bold chance. Sometimes that pushes me in a different direction, which is actually really fun, because then I end up doing something a little bit more muted or.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah.

[Arielle Okin]

And it ends up being something so different from what I would do for myself, but it's still interesting. So it kind of takes you in different directions, which I think is so.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Much of the fun of what we do, because at the end of the day, they're the ones who live in it, not us. And it's easy to get sort of in your own way as a creative and an artist and want your vision to come to life as, you know, true to your original thought as possible. But sometimes, however you iterate on, something can get it to its best place. I think that there's so much success in that and feeling like it's, of course, a reflection of you as a designer, but most importantly, a reflection of your client and whose house it is.

[Arielle Okin]

Looking back through your career, have you had a mentor in your career at all? And if so, how do you think they helped you shape your trajectory?

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I haven't had one specific mentor. I sort of wished that it was something I had established early on, but what I have had is just this unbelievable, supportive community of designers who I've connected with, you being one of them. I feel like I am so endlessly grateful for these people who I can text and be like, hey, I'm in a bind with an employee, and I just want to hear what you think about this.

[Arielle Okin]

It's so important. It's like, I always liken it to, like, having mom friends, you know?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yes.

[Arielle Okin]

You need work friends, too. Like, you need people who, like, do the same thing you do and run their own business, and they're also, you know, in the same stage of life. And, you know, it's just. It's so helpful. I feel like we've. We've got a really great network of women who do the same thing and also have kids. And, you know, it's just. It's very, very, very helpful to have an ear, to sort of bounce things off of.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It is. And I also have found that it's really unique to interior designers. Like it. We are just really willing to share with each other and open and there's no gatekeeping. And I'm so grateful for it. And I feel like I have learned so much and grown so much thanks to those people who are so willing to share with me. And, like, I have a local group of women in the area that I live, and we get Together. We try to get together once a month.

[Arielle Okin]

That's so nice. I love that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's awesome. We do it at each other's houses post bedtime. We call it wine and wine. We drink wine and we complain about our jobs. It is the best. Like, I look forward to it so much. And I just think that opportunities like that to. To learn from each other and to just, you know, to your point, just have someone you can kind of, like, lean on. It's just so meaningful.

[Arielle Okin]

100%. I mean, to that end, also, is there a piece of advice for designing interiors that you've ever received that really stuck with you? Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I mean, I think two things, and they both sound sort of cliche, but the first is to trust your gut and just be confident. If you feel in yourself that you have this skill and talent, you probably do. And so the most important thing is to remember that there is someone else who would do it differently. But that doesn't mean that how you're doing it is incorrect. And if you exude confidence, then your clients will pick up on that confidence, and they will, in turn, be confident with you. And I think that kind of leads to the second thing. And this is embarrassing to admit, but so, so true is just fake it till you make it. You just sometimes got to be like, you know what? I am gonna have to check with someone in my office about that.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And you go home and you Google.

[Arielle Okin]

I love that. It's so true. I mean, especially when you're in your early 20s and you're just starting out and you're, like, so underwater. You kind of just have to do that in the beginning and then. And that also. That helps you build confidence, too.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Exactly. And I think, you know, when I say that, I'm not suggesting that you, like, make up an answer and hope that it happens to be true, but I think, like, it's okay to say that you don't know something. You could be doing this job for 40 years and get a question asked that you don't know the answer to. It doesn't mean that you don't know how to do your job. But I think that internal confidence and believing in yourself is so important.

[Arielle Okin]

So important. I agree. Well, let's talk a little bit about the personal stuff. So what do you think your home says about you?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Well, my current home, and honestly, I hope my new home, both say that I am such a homebody that I love my home, wherever it may be, so much, and that we really, like, live in it, and we live in it hard, and I don't avoid that. I embrace it, and I hope that it always reflects those things.

[Arielle Okin]

Are you a cancer?

[Alexandra Kahler]

I'm not.

[Arielle Okin]

Oh, my God. I feel like you would be. I'm a cancer, and I'm like, such a homebody. And I feel like really kindred spirits in that way.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Home to me is everything. Like, it's. I mean, I could get real philosophical about it. It's just. It's so meaningful. And I have clients who feel the same way, and I have clients who don't feel the same way, who think I'm a loon, and. And that's okay either way if they don't identify. But for me, home is everything.

[Arielle Okin]

What are some of your favorite places to shop for? Home.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I love first dibs. I just could get lost in it for days.

[Arielle Okin]

Me, too.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And live auctioneers and having the hunt of trying to find something and making sure you win it.

[Arielle Okin]

It's so addicting.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's dangerous. I had a few. It actually happened twice in a day, which is just so mortifying. But I had. I have all this vintage jewelry that I follow on there, and there were a few pieces that I really liked, and it said that the estimated sale price would be, you know, a gazillion dollars. And so I put in a much lower bid just so I would get notifications to see when it went live.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And I ended up winning two things in a day.

[Arielle Okin]

No way.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I was like, oh, gosh, I had no intention of buying these things. It was so irresponsible. It's really funny, but it was fun and an embarrassing but funny story.

[Arielle Okin]

Where do you find most of your inspiration? I know it kind of varies, but I feel like everybody has such interesting answers to where they find their inspiration.

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I definitely like the usual suspects, you know, books and Pinterest and Instagram and travel. But beyond that, I think what I've really identified is that the outdoors are hugely influential in the way that I view the indoors. Yeah, I'm not like, what you would call an outdoorsy person. Like, I don't want to go camping or, you know, things like that. But I love being outside. And that is my happiest. Happiest place is, like, just in a garden or in my yard or, you know, just being outside.

[Arielle Okin]

I find nature to be incredibly soothing. And, like, I try to take walks outside. Even in the winter, when it's freezing, I'll still go out. I like to take walks outside at least a few days a week because it's very energizing. And often I just won't even listen to music. I just walk and listen to the nature sounds.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's meditative.

[Arielle Okin]

It is. It's very meditative. It's a great way to decompress, and you can find when you're really paying attention to your surroundings. Yesterday I was on a walk with my mom, and I found a fully intact bird's nest, just like on the ground.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Oh, wow.

[Arielle Okin]

And they're so beautiful.

[Alexandra Kahler]

There's. Bird's nests are so cool. I could. They're cool. Yeah. My. My kids had to listen to me be like, you guys, look at this bird's nest. And how the birds so thoughtfully put it together.

[Arielle Okin]

I had the same conversation with my daughter yesterday. I took a picture of it and I showed it to her. And I was like, a mommy bird. Went and spent all this time and went and gathered twigs and sticks and feathers and all these things. And she was like. She was into it because she's like, five.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And honestly, that mommy bird is me. I am that mommy bird. I am designing your house. Yes.

[Arielle Okin]

Oh, my God, that's so cute. But it's true. And I think a lot of designers find inspiration in nature in terms of color palette and the influence of outdoors on indoors. I think also now we live in this hyper connected, sort of fragmented world, and being able to bring some of that fluidity back into our lives is really beautiful. I agree.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's very grounding.

[Arielle Okin]

What do you think the three biggest influences on your aesthetic in your life have been?

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I think it has really been my family, and that's in three kind of very different ways. My grandmother is this, like, style icon. Like, she's just. Anyone who follows me on Instagram has probably seen my Instagram interviews with her. She's just. She's 95. She's almost 96, and she is dressed every day to the nines.

[Arielle Okin]

My bubby's like that, too. She's going to be 91 in December.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's amazing.

[Arielle Okin]

She's amazing. She's just amazing. It's. And your grandma is. I love when you post your grandmother, because she is.

[Alexandra Kahler]

She's something riot.

[Arielle Okin]

She's amazing. She's. And you can just. They don't make people like that anymore. You know what I mean? Like, it's just. She's special.

[Alexandra Kahler]

She is special. But she has always just had this really distinctive point of view on all things aesthetic. And whether I agree with her or not, I think she's just been a huge influence on me in that way. And then my mom and my dad. And I think the fact that they both love homes and interiors, but into very, very different interpretations of that. And I think seeing how they each designed their homes and made the decisions that went into decorating was really meaningful in my childhood. And just sort of watching them make those choices. And then my sisters, I'm one of three girls and the three of us have the most difference aesthetic preferences you could possibly have. Like, we joke that we could dress up as each other for Halloween because we are so distinctly different.

[Arielle Okin]

I love the video you did with your sisters for the holiday last year for Hanukkah. It was so sweet.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thanks. It was really special.

[Arielle Okin]

It was really special. It was just such a heartwarming video.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thanks. It was fun to do. And I think we have such different aesthetic preferences in our clothes, but also our interiors. And I think when someone has their own personal style so clearly defined, it's. There's something really inspiring about it.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Like my sister who lives in Chicago, when I designed her house, she was like, there will be no white walls in this house. I know you like white. We are not using white in this house.

[Arielle Okin]

I remember watching you post like the behind the scenes of doing your sister's house, and I was loving it.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I mean, it's beautiful and it turned out so special. It's so true to her. She has added piles and piles and piles of stuff since we finished and photographed it. And it's even more authentic to her now. And that's just her vibe. And I think, like, when you think about style influences, like, those are the people who I think have the biggest impact are someone who just knows what they like.

[Arielle Okin]

We always end our episodes with our take 10 rapid fire questions, which they have nothing really to do with interior design, but I always like to ask them.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I always love hearing people's answers.

[Arielle Okin]

Right. It's like so fun. It's a little, like, voyeuristic. I think it's really fun to hear what people say.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I agree.

[Arielle Okin]

So what is your favorite food?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Carbs. Just all forms of carbs.

[Arielle Okin]

We love that favorite drink.

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I am really weird and I really mostly just drink water. But if I'm having an alcoholic beverage, I'll either have rose or a margarita.

[Arielle Okin]

Love I'm similar to you also. Just since becoming a mom, I find it so much harder to drink now, like, because I'm just tired early the next day. Yeah, I'm just tired all the time. And so it's like not appealing to me the way that it was When I was in my 20s.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Exactly.

[Arielle Okin]

Favorite film.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I mean, I know this is just blasphemy. I'm not a TV movie girl at all.

[Arielle Okin]

It's not blasphemy. I feel like some people are not. It's like not their vibe.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah, I just, I, I'm a reader and I don't. TV can't like hold my attention span in the same way. But when I do watch something, I love the classics and I've been watching them with my oldest daughter, which has been so much fun. We watched My Fair lady the other day.

[Arielle Okin]

That's so fun.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Like she loved that. And so then we watched Gigi. And my six year old son is really into musical theater, so we watch the Sound of Music and wizard of.

[Arielle Okin]

Oz and like, that's so cute. I love that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Those are my favorites.

[Arielle Okin]

That's amazing. And also just getting them hooked on really old school classic films at a young age is so amazing.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Yeah, there's definitely some like tricky things that you then have to explain to your nine year old daughter, like why, you know, why Gigi is getting married to like her uncle. You know, just some complicated dynamics.

[Arielle Okin]

I know I let my older daughter watch Parent Trap, which is not, you know, it's a kids movie, but still, I was not prepared for the line of questioning, even from Parent Trap. It was like. And then she tried to pierce my younger daughter's ear with an act, like. And I was like, maybe we're a little too young for that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Who would have thought?

[Arielle Okin]

Favorite hotel.

[Alexandra Kahler]

My favorite hotel is the Hotel de Russi in Rome. It has this little secret garden in the back and it is just such an incredibly special place.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, it is. That is a very special. It's like a hidden gem. I feel like it really is. Favorite city.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Okay, I'm gonna, I'm gonna iterate on your question. Nantucket. Nantucket is my favorite destination. I don't, I'm not like, cities are not always my jam, but I, I love to travel and Nantucket is my special place.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, it should probably change. It shouldn't be just city, it should be favorite. Favorite place to travel. Favorite bedding.

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I have this Sephirah Giza duvet that is my favorite in the whole entire world.

[Arielle Okin]

They. Their bedding is really, really soft and super high quality.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's amazing. I've had, I think I've had to replace it maybe twice over the past 15 years. And it's like, it's magical.

[Arielle Okin]

Tea or coffee? And how do you take it?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Neither. I don't drink Any thing during the day other than water.

[Arielle Okin]

Favorite playlist or thing to listen to.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I have music going at all times and it runs the gamut. It's like I go from James Taylor to Vampire weekend to like 90s country to Mozart. It's all over the board. I love it, all of it. I have it playing at all times.

[Arielle Okin]

I'll listen to like jazz and classical when I'm working, but if I'm working out, like, God only knows what I'm listening to.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And I turn on music like the second I wake up in the morning, while I'm getting dressed, while I'm showering, I have music on.

[Arielle Okin]

I love that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And my. And now my kids are the same way, which is really fun. So it's like, you know, my daughter's room has Taylor swift playing at 7am My son's room has the wizard of Oz soundtrack playing at 7:00am that's so cute. It's a wide variety over here.

[Arielle Okin]

Favorite weekend activity, being outside with my.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Family, whatever that means.

[Arielle Okin]

That's so nice. I love that. And the last one, which is always the hardest. What is your favorite design book?

[Alexandra Kahler]

David Adler Country Houses.

[Arielle Okin]

Oh, that is a really good one.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It's the best. And I live in David Adler land and so they're, you know, they're like. Most of his houses are 10, 15 minutes away from where I live. There's a few in the town where I live and they are just exquisite, top to bottom, the detail and the creativity. And so I just love seeing that book because a lot of those houses aren't in existence anymore. And so it's just, it's fun to see the historic pictures and just get this overview of his career.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, that is a really great one. Well, a final few words. What are you working on right now? I know we've got your book. Are there any other new projects that you can talk about?

[Alexandra Kahler]

So I'm working on my own house renovation, which has been over a year in the making and I'm just so excited about it. It's really been a fantasy of mine for a long time to find an old pre war house that just needed a full restoration.

[Arielle Okin]

I've been loving following along.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thank you. I am so excited. It's just been like a really magical experience. And obviously there's stressful things that happen and hiccups, but I think there's something about like this being my job. I'm so accustomed to those things. They don't even really faze me.

[Arielle Okin]

Totally. I know.

[Alexandra Kahler]

And obviously it's a little Bit more stressful when it's my bank account and not my clients. But it's. It's all part of the process. And I think it's been really just a creatively challenging experience for me in a really fun way. And I can kind of go back and see, like, oh, you know, that client's mudroom that we did felt like it would make a lot of sense in this space, but I need a little bit more of this and just pulling from all those experiences to try to create something that really works for my family. I just. I'm so excited. We're moving the first week of January, so it's really coming up now.

[Arielle Okin]

Hi. That's soon. Ah, that's so exciting. I can't wait to see it. I've been loving watching the behind the scenes that you've been posting, and it's so beautiful.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thank you. I went yesterday and they had started installing the kitchen, so that was really very exciting.

[Arielle Okin]

That's huge. That's amazing. Well, really, I mean, this kind of piggybacks off of that, but advice for someone looking to define their own interior style, which I always love to hear what people say about that.

[Alexandra Kahler]

I think just kind of going back to things that I've said already today. Just learn as much as you can and don't ever feel like, oh, I've got this figured out. Nobody can teach me more than I already know. There's just. There's always new ways of looking at things. And I think that in any job that benefits you to just keep an open mind and learn from the people who are willing to teach. I think that just makes you great at your job and makes you successful in life.

[Arielle Okin]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more. I think that's so true. I love that. Well, Alex, thank you so much for coming on. This was so fun. I love getting to talk to you in, like, this capacity because we're usually talking to each other, bouncing things off each other world, and this was so fun to do.

[Alexandra Kahler]

It was. I loved it. I had so much fun chatting with you.

[Arielle Okin]

Me too. Well, where can listeners find more about you and your firm?

[Alexandra Kahler]

Well, if they want to hear about me and my design and my anxiety, they can go to my Instagram, which is Alex Kahlor Design, and they'll see lots of me there.

[Arielle Okin]

I love it. And your book is out fall of 25.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Fall of 25. It's Monicelli Phaeden, and I am just so excited to share. There's a ton of new work in there that I haven't been able to share and just a unique sort of take on a traditional design monograph. So it'll be really fun.

[Arielle Okin]

Can't wait. Well, congratulations and thank you so much again for coming on and I hope I get to see you soon.

[Alexandra Kahler]

Thank you so much for having me.

[Arielle Okin]

That's a wrap for this week's episode of Talkshop. Thanks for listening. We'll be back next week with more thoughtful discussions and amazing guests. Follow us on Apple podcasts, Spotify and YouTube so you never miss an episode. And of course, follow me. Rielokun See you next week.