Podcast
Talk with Francesca
Hosted by Francesca Luca · EN
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17episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
She Snoops and He Has No Idea
3w ago00:11:33Tap to summarizeOne listener admits she secretly checks her boyfriend’s phone, messages, and socials; and he’s completely unaware. Is she protecting herself from heartbreak, or quietly destroying the trust in her relationship? We get into the fine line between intuition and obsession, and whether snooping ever really ends well.
Transcribe →Dr. John Hamel, Shameful Silence
3w ago00:55:13Tap to summarizeYou think you understand domestic violence. What if men, yes, men are a significant portion of victims, even in the most extreme caes? This conversation goes there. No bs. No easy answers.
Transcribe →Evelyn Resh, Author of Women, Sex, Power and Pleasure
Apr 2500:55:54Tap to summarizeEvelyn Resh is a certified sexuality counselor and certified mid-wife who has been in practice for more than 20 years. With her integrative approach to women's health, she helps women to create the life and sex life they desire by looking at their relationship to pleasure in general. With a refreshing and disarming sense of humor, she explores the importance of all types of pleasure from a simple coffee break to mind blowing sex and shows how not having these experiences on a regular basis, life feels empty and overall health suffers. A not to miss segment.
Transcribe →Memorist Meg Kissinger's Intimate Family Portrait of Mental Illness in an Era of Silence
Apr 1400:55:35Tap to summarizeThe Kissinger family, from the outside, looked like the American dream. Big Catholic family, beautiful home in the Chicago suburbs, vacations, country clubs, and success. But behind the doors of that home were secrets, untreated mental illness, alcoholism, silence, and two suicides. Meg's book isn't just a memoir, it's an unflinching look at how silence, stigma and systems collide.
Transcribe →Rick Manabat, Sexual Addiction Counselor
Apr 600:55:52Tap to summarizeRick Manabat is a seasoned sexual addiction therapist known for cutting through shame and getting to the real story underneath compulsive behavior. His work focuses on helping individuals and couples understand the emotional drivers behind addiction—whether it’s trauma, attachment wounds, or unmet needs—and guiding them toward accountability, healing, and healthier intimacy. Rather than labeling people, he looks at patterns, helping clients reconnect with themselves and rebuild trust in their relationships. With a direct but compassionate style, Rick brings a grounded, real-world approach to a topic that’s often misunderstood, making the path to recovery feel both human and possible.
Transcribe →When Your Ex Shows Up After 20 Years Like He Went Out for a Gallon of Milk
Apr 200:13:32Tap to summarizeImagine you’re sitting on your couch, living your best life, maybe contemplating what to have for dinner or finally finishing that book, when a notification pops up. It’s a name you haven’t seen in two decades. It’s him. The tone of the message is so casual you’d think he just stepped out to the corner store in 2006 and got caught in a very, very long line at the checkout. He’s back, he’s "checking in," and he’s acting like the last twenty years were just a commercial break. Before you let that spike of adrenaline dictate your next move, let’s pour a glass of something cold and talk about why you don’t owe the "Milkman" a damn thing. The All-Access Pass Has Expired Just because you have history and honestly, it probably wasn't a Shakespearean romance if it ended back when flip phones were peak tech, doesn’t mean he has an All-Access Pass to your current life. You aren’t the same person you were twenty years ago. You’ve grown, evolved, and probably survived things he couldn't even imagine. In fact, he’s still standing in the parking lot of your past, and that’s exactly where he belongs. Nostalgia is a Filtered Lens Nostalgia is the ultimate Instagram filter; it blurs out the friction and bumps the saturation on the "good times" until everything looks like a dream. But let's get real: If the "fit" was bad then, it’s likely worse now. He isn't looking for the woman you are today, the one with the boundaries and the 401k. He’s looking for a version of you that no longer exists. He wants the girl who didn't know better yet. Don't let a ghost try to cast you in a role you retired from decades ago. The "Nice Girl" Trap vs. Real Kindness We’ve been socially conditioned to be "nice," to prioritize everyone else's comfort over our own peace of mind. We feel like being a "good person" means keeping the door open. Kindness without boundaries is just self-sabotage. Being a "good person" doesn't mean being a doormat. Real kindness is being honest enough to say, "This doesn't serve me," instead of leading someone on with a lukewarm "nice" response you don't actually mean. A "Clear No" is a gift to both of you. Ambiguity creates hope where there shouldn't be any. Being blunt isn't mean; it’s the most respectful way to ensure neither of you wastes another second on a dead end. It’s Not About You (It’s About Him) Don’t mistake a "thrilled" or "remorseful" message for a changed man. Often, when an ex resurfaces after a generation, it isn't about your sparkling personality but more about his own need for redemption or an ego boost. Maybe his life didn't turn out the way he planned. Maybe he’s feeling his age and wants to feel young again by proximity. You are not responsible for being the mirror that helps him feel like a better person. You are not his spiritual car wash. Closure is a Solo Project If you’re waiting for that one email or "the talk" to finally feel at peace with a 20-year-old situation, you’re giving him way too much power. Closure is a DIY project. You closed that chapter the moment you decided you deserved better and kept walking. You don't need his input to validate your growth. You don't owe him a "Why," and you certainly don't owe him an itemized list of your past grievances. "I’m not interested in reconnecting" is a full sentence. It requires zero defense. The "Expired" Clause Think of your life like a TV guide. Some people are meant to be a limited series, a short, intense run that served its purpose and ended. They were never intended to be a long-running sitcom with fifteen seasons and a reboot. Protect the version of you that survived that tragic ending. You worked hard to move past that energy. Inviting it back in isn't being "open-minded"; it’s being reckless with your emotional progress. Stop auditioning for your own past. You’ve already won the lead role in your present. Keep the door locked, keep your peace intact, and let him find his milk somewhere else.
Transcribe →Good Guys vs. Bad Boys Dilemma
Mar 1100:11:18Tap to summarize(Be Careful What Lawn You Water)It’s a tale as old as time: the classic case of the "Grass is Greener" Syndrome. You have a partner who is kind, consistent, and follows the rules, yet you find yourself peering over the fence at the "bad boy" types, wondering where the spark went.Before you go looking for a "fix" of excitement, remember the grass is usually greenest where you actually remember to water it. If you’re currently weighing the comfort of a good man against the allure of a "bad" one, here is the reality check you might not want, but definitely need. Chaos is Not ChemistryIf you grew up in a high-stress or unpredictable environment, you might have accidentally conditioned yourself to associate "excitement" with "danger." In this headspace, a healthy relationship feels like a flatline.When you find a man who is actually stable, your nervous system doesn't know how to handle the lack of drama, so it mislabels "peace" as "boredom."The Reality Check: It is not your boyfriend’s job to be your 24/7 entertainment director. If you’re feeling antsy, ask yourself if your life is missing a personal challenge. It’s unfair to blame a partner for your own lack of stimulation. The Reliability ParadoxYou likely fell for the "Good Guy" because of his reliability. But here’s the thing: you cannot have it both ways. * The Dependable Man: He is thoughtful, grounded, and follows through. This makes him a great partner, but it also makes him predictable.The Bad Boy: He is unpredictable and "thrilling," but that same trait makes him a terrible partner when life gets hard.Don't be deluded into thinking there is a middle ground where a man can be a grounded, dependable partner 90% of the time, then suddenly "flip a switch" to become a reckless thrill-seeker the moment you get bored. When a person shows you who they are, believe them. If you strip away his reliability to find "passion," you lose the very person you claimed to love. The Solution: Take Ownership of Your Joy Build a Life Independent of Him: If you need a roller coaster, go find one, literally or figuratively. Take up a high-stakes hobby, pivot your career, or travel. Stop expecting your relationship to be the sole source of your adrenaline.Reframe "Boring" as "Safe": Get accustomed to feeling relaxed. Being with a "follows the rules" kind of guy isn't a lack of passion; it’s a foundation of safety.The Compatibility Test: If you’ve taken ownership of your own joy and the relationship still feels like a chore, you might simply be incompatible. If that's the case, let him go so he can find someone who actually appreciates the peace he provides.
Transcribe →The "Not Tonight" Chronicles: Navigating the Desire Gap
Mar 800:11:46Tap to summarizeThe Oxygen and the Icing: Why We Need to Stop Downplaying Sexual Incompatibility Let’s stop the polite nodding and get real: Sexual incompatibility isn’t “shallow.” In the world of "serious" relationships, we’re often told that if the conversation is deep and the values align, the bedroom stuff is just a footnote. But that is a fundamental misunderstanding of how human connection works. For some people, sex is occasional icing, a nice-to-have topping on an already solid cake. For others? It’s oxygen. If you are an "oxygen" person paired with someone who treats intimacy like a leap-year event, you aren't "needy" or "obsessed." You’re just wired differently. And pretending those wires don't matter is exactly how relationships start to burn down from the inside out. The Resentment Rot When a core need is chronically unmet, it isn't just a "minor frustration." It’s the beginning of a slow-build resentment that eventually colors every other part of the partnership. We’ve all heard (or said) the phrase: “But everything else is pretty good.” The hard truth? "Everything else" means very little if you are constantly fuming under your breath. Resentment will rot a relationship faster and more violently than "bad sex" ever could. Without the physical intimacy that ties you to your partner, you get short, you get snappy, and you lose the ability to appreciate the "good" parts. The Comparison Fallacy It’s easy to look at a friend who hasn't had sex in years and seems "fine," but their relationship isn't your blueprint. The Bond: Some people genuinely don’t need physical intimacy to feel bonded; they can go indefinitely and feel perfectly secure.The Void: Others feel lonely and rejected without it, even if the rest of the relationship is technically "great." Your need for connection isn't a democracy. Your friends, your family, and society don't get a vote on what makes you feel loved. If you feel lonely without it, you're lonely. Period. The Uncomfortable "Why" When there is a chronic lack of interest in physical intimacy, it’s rarely just about a "low drive." Often, it’s a symptom of something deeper that needs to be looked at with clear eyes: Fear of Vulnerability: Physical intimacy requires being "seen," and for some, that is terrifying.Identity Struggles: Sometimes a lack of interest points toward a sexual identity issue that hasn't been addressed.The Hardest Question: Is it a lack of interest in "it"… or a lack of interest in "it" with you? It’s a harsh distinction, but it’s a necessary one. If needs have been clearly expressed and there is no interest in even working on the issue, you aren't dealing with a "dry spell." You’re dealing with a dead end. The 10-Year Litmus Test If you’re justifying the situation today, ask yourself the "forever" question: If nothing changed—if this was the reality for the next 10 years—could you live with it without becoming bitter? When someone starts fantasizing about getting their needs met elsewhere just to feel a spark of life, the relationship is already in trouble. Incompatibility doesn’t make either person a "villain." But pretending it doesn’t matter when it clearly defines your sense of connection? That’s where you lose years of your life that you’ll never get back. Watching the Willingness Love isn’t just about getting along; it’s about being matched where it counts. Being wanted counts. The only way forward is a conversation that isn't about attacking or accusing, but about stating a fundamental truth: "I need physical intimacy to feel connected, and I’m not okay with how this is going." Once that's on the table, stop listening to the words and start watching the willingness. Is there a genuine desire to bridge the gap, or just a hope that the problem will go away? It’s never too late for things to change, but don’t wait until the resentment has already taken over to speak up.
Transcribe →Harmless Crush or Emotional Affair?
Feb 2000:09:49Tap to summarizeLet’s talk about something most people experience… and almost nobody admits.You’re happy at home. You’ve got a solid relationship. You love your partner.And then there’s… him. The guy at work.It starts small. A look that lingers half a second too long. A joke that feels just a little more charged than it should. You notice what he’s wearing. He notices when you change your hair.There’s nothing happening; but there’s something there.A shift in energy when you’re in the same room.And now you’re asking yourself, “Is this harmless… or is this the beginning of something slippery?”First, let’s normalize it. Feeling a flicker doesn’t mean you’re unhappy at home. It means you’re alive. But here’s where it matters, what you do with that undercurrent is everything.A harmless crush stays harmless because it stays contained. You don’t feed it. You don’t linger in his office longer than necessary. You don’t start sharing pieces of your emotional world that belong in your relationship. No watering here.Do you confide in him about frustrations at home? Do you dress with him in mind? Do you look forward to work more than you know you should? Would you feel uncomfortable if your partner stood right there during one of those “innocent” conversations? That’s the line.The undercurrent itself isn’t the betrayal. Secrecy is.Sometimes that office attraction isn’t about the other person at all. Maybe you miss being admired or miss playful energy. Instead of panicking or pretending, just ask yourself what this is showing you.Strong relationships don’t collapse because someone attractive walks into the building. They can grow stronger if you use moments like this as awareness instead of escape routes.You can be committed and still be human. You can notice chemistry and still do the right thing.Attraction isn’t the danger. Indulgence is.You don’t cheat because you felt something. You cheat because you fed the beast.
Transcribe →Keith Glomsowitch, Author of Stalked
Feb 1100:54:15Tap to summarizeKeith Zlomsowitch waited more than 30 years to tell his story in STALKED: It Could Have Been Me. He shares the threats, stalking, and emotional turmoil he and Nicole endured at the hands of O.J. Simpson and how, in that fateful moment, it very well could have been him instead. Most people think they know Nicole’s story, the headlines, the trial, the verdict. Listen to hear it from Keith, who lived it firsthand.
Transcribe →