Talking Toddlers — Episode 135: “If Christmas Feels Like Too Much, You’re Not Doing It Wrong”

Host: Erin Hyer
Release Date: December 23, 2025

Episode Overview

In this episode, Erin Hyer, a seasoned speech-language pathologist, guides parents through the emotional and logistical overload that often accompanies Christmas with babies and toddlers. With a calm, developmentally grounded perspective, Erin reassures listeners that feeling overwhelmed or “behind” during the holiday season does not mean they're failing as parents. Instead, she urges families to embrace simplicity, prioritize their young children's needs, and seek meaningful connection over spectacle.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Overwhelming Nature of Christmas for Families with Young Children

• Erin opens by validating the emotional and physical exhaustion parents feel during the holiday season:

  “If this season feels like a lot, physically, emotionally, logistically, that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It means you’re parenting young children during a season that is genuinely overstimulating, disruptive, and demanding, especially for little nervous systems.” (01:09)

• She highlights the unrealistic, often commercialized expectations placed on mothers for “memory-making” and the “magic” of Christmas.

2. Understanding Toddler Development and Why Christmas is Hard for Them

• Toddlers' brains are still developing and cannot process the sheer volume of sensory input (noise, crowds, lights, irregular routines) that come with the holidays.
• Erin emphasizes:

  “Your young child’s brain is still under construction… They don’t have the neurological capacity to filter or prioritize or self-regulate the way older children do and us adults.” (02:41)

• Overwhelm in toddlers frequently appears as:
  • Meltdowns, clinginess
  • Short attention spans
  • Disrupted sleep
  • Seemingly regressive behaviors

3. The Science Behind Simplicity and Play

• Erin discusses a core research study from the University of Toledo:

  “The children with fewer toys played longer… used more imagination, and were able to settle into meaningful play… Children with any kind of developmental differences, sensory sensitivities… were even more affected by cluttered, overwhelmed play environments.” (07:42)

• The message: Less is not deprivation—it’s about bandwidth. When brains have less to manage, they regulate more easily, especially for very young children.

4. Memory, Meaning, and How Toddlers Experience the Holidays

• Toddlers process Christmas differently:

  • Their experiences are largely pre-verbal and right-hemisphere dominant. Rather than remembering “what happened,” they encode how events feel in their bodies.

  “They’re not looking at like, oh, how many gifts I had… They’re encoding it as the experience of how it feels in their body. Is this comfortable?” (14:10)

• Erin stresses that it can take weeks, not just days, for young children to return to equilibrium after the holiday disruption.

5. Practical Example: When Too Much Really Is Too Much

• Erin shares a case study:
  • A family’s young children (ages 3 and 4) found and tore open all the wrapped Christmas presents.
  • The parents, initially devastated, saw this as a sign of “ungrateful, spoiled brats.”
  • Erin re-frames the event:

    “They were being developmentally appropriate in an environment that offered more stimulation than their brains could process. Deriving a true sense of meaning… has to be taught slowly and gently and over time.” (19:24)

  • The turning point: Simpler Christmases allowed the family to teach gratitude and savor the experience.

6. Gentle Holiday Strategies for Parents

• Maintain rhythms and routines as much as possible—especially sleep and quiet time

• Limit novelty and overstimulation; offer “a touch of Christmas, not the full weight”

• Model gratitude and connection slowly, over years—not all at once

• Give yourself permission to enjoy adulthood-focused elements after a child’s bedtime

• Prioritize quality and presence over quantity and performance

• Erin explains her own family’s tradition:

  “According to the Christmas story, Jesus received three gifts… so her children only received three gifts each every year. My husband and I really thought that was gorgeous, and we decided to carry on that tradition for many years… What stands out most to me isn’t what we didn’t buy, but it’s how calm Christmas felt.” (26:30)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Simplicity and Satisfaction:

  “Simplicity does not mean less love, and humility does not mean that you failed. Generosity is not measured by what’s under the tree. Light still matters, even when it’s quiet and small. Togetherness can happen in one ordinary moment.” (29:15)

• Permission for Parents:

  “You are enough. Your child is enough. And the Christmas you are already living is enough. Christmas doesn’t require a performance. It invites presence… in small, ordinary moments.” (30:05)

Important Timestamps

• 01:09 — Erin’s validation: feeling overwhelmed is normal
• 02:41 — Why toddlers can’t self-regulate during the holidays
• 07:42 — Research: children thrive with fewer toys/stimulation
• 14:10 — How toddlers encode holiday experiences
• 19:24 — Story: when too much left kids and parents overwhelmed
• 26:30 — Erin’s personal tradition: three gifts, quality over quantity
• 29:15 – 30:05 — Closing reflections on presence, love, and trust

Final Takeaways

• If Christmas feels overwhelming, you’re not failing. Children need gentle, simple, predictable holidays.
• Routines, fewer toys, and time to process experiences help toddlers (and parents) feel grounded and connected.
• Focus on what your child feels, not what they do—and allow yourself to redefine what a meaningful holiday looks like.

Erin’s closing words:

“Let Christmas be what it’s always meant to be. Not something you manage, but something you receive… May this season bring peace to your home and to your family. God bless you.” (32:50)

For further support, Erin offers free discovery calls for parents seeking guidance in the new year. See episode description for details.