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The truth is, and I've seen this over and over again, both in clinical practice and then it's been backed by research, is that when a toddler is uneasy on the inside, whether they're tired or hungry, overstimulated, stressed, unsure, it becomes nearly impossible for them to learn anything. Hello and welcome to Talking Toddlers, where I share more than just tips and tricks on how to reduce t tantrums or build your toddler's vocabulary. We're going to cover all of that. But here our goal is to develop clarity, because in this modern world, it's truly overwhelming. This podcast is about empowering moms to know the difference between fact and fiction, to never give up, to tap into everyday activities so your child stays on track. He's not falling behind. He. He's thriving. Through your guidance, we know that true learning starts at home. So let's get started. Today's episode, it's all about routines. Specifically, why toddler daily schedules matter so much. This might seem basic, I know, but I promise it's foundational. In fact, when parents ask me for one simple thing that they could do to improve behavior, to support language, to ease those trans reduce infamous tantrums, this is it, I assure you. So welcome back to Talking Toddlers. I'm Erin, your guide, walking you through this real, raw and rewarding world of early child development. When we talk about routines, especially for toddlers, even though routines are important for all of us, but with toddlers, I want to begin with something deeper. Deeper than nap schedules or snacks. It' following what everyone else is doing or striving to check off those boxes. It's about making thoughtful and purposeful choices that feel right for your family in whatever particular season or stage you're in on this journey. So for me, and I do believe for so many other moms that I've worked with over the years, it's really about slowing down. Slowing down to tune into the rhythm of your home, to build and figure out what's the rhythm for your child. And you might have a couple of children with different rhythms, so you have to navigate that, but also finding the rhythm within your own body. Sometimes there's a disconnect between your kids and yourself, but I assure you, through mindful and intentional thinking through this process, you'll come up with a rhythm that works for everybody. And I typically start with asking simple but powerful questions, such as, is this working for us? You know, how am I feeling in the morning and in the evening? Is this helping or hurting? Our goal for finding peace and Continuity is my current situation of so called routines supporting the life that I'm striving to build. And I know it's different when you have a 1 versus a 2 versus a 3 and a 4. Yes, every stage will be tweaked, but I want you to think that when something isn't working, that's not a failure on your part, it's just feedback. And it's exactly what I do in therapy. When something doesn't work, I, I just back up a little bit and shift. So that feedback is really an invitation to shift, to navigate through this, to be creative, to build something that is working for all of you and that you're all figuring out what your roles are. I also believe that I've seen this over and over again, both in practice and then in real life, that when we slow down and live more intentionally, we actually allow ourselves to notice those voices in the back of our head. I think they're God's whispers. I believe that he is always talking with us. He's always trying to get us to understand how to take the next step, right? What is really healthy and loving and supportive for each of us within this family. I believe that we create space to hear his guidance, to feel those nudges and to help us stay aligned in this role of parenting, right? And how do we create this family that we're striving to build? And that's the kind of parenting that I want to con, to continue to encourage all of you, right, to be brave, to slow down. It's hard when the world is so busy around you, but to find courage, to slow down, to be thoughtful, to really think about what's important for this special little child that is a gift from God. What's important for us, your partner, if you have a couple of children, if you have grandparents involved, how does this whole beautiful family system resonate? Resonate with what we're doing now. And how can I tweak it to make it better or more healthy or calmer or more successful, right? So today as we talk about routines, we're not talking about these rigid schedules or complicated charts. Oh my gosh, that's all over the Internet, right? But here I want to talk about creating that rhythm, right? About creating a calm, connected environment where you have predictable roles and that you have time and space to be together. Because that kind of environment, and I've seen this for 35 plus years, that kind of environment helps all toddlers, but especially your toddler, feel safe, right? And then they're available to Learn with more ease and more comfort and fluidity, Right. That they thrive in finding their own voice and their own creativity, who God designed them to be. That's what I feel. But when it's chaotic, when it's dysregulated, it's hard to find, that it's hard to tap into. Hmm. Let me explore over here and see if it's interesting or not. Right. And we're going to talk about how that lays out in your day to day lifestyle. Let's first talk about why toddlers crave routine. And I do honestly believe over the, you know, last several decades that I've been studying this and working on the floor with the kids and how my life has unfolded and how I raised my daughter and how even at this stage, I still need routines, I still need that structure. But let's go back to your toddler. Your toddler may look at times like it's complete mayhem, right? A tornado that's running around that may or may not have clothes on, but under that swirl of energy, there is a deep biological need for structure, for routine. Right? Because that's how we all learn best. Predictability gives toddlers something crucial and that's security. That's that, that stability where they can sit in whatever they're doing and be present for themselves. Right. It's how they learn to trust the environment and trust you, the adults who are guiding them in this moment and in each and every day. So yes, routines matter, but not just the logistics. Not just so you are running a tight ship, right? But the consistent daily rhythm helps toddlers know what comes next and how they fit in. That fitting in, that sense of belonging really helps them then direct their emotional regulation, their emotional safety. And that emotional safety is the launch pad for everything else. And I've seen this with kids who are just trying to organize their life and maybe their first couple of years have been chaotic. I've seen it with kids who have neurological deficits such as autism or significant ocd or add all of those other diagnoses. But the truth is, if we're feeling emotionally grounded, then everything else is, is available to us from cooperation, which is the theme here. Curiosity and communication, learning how to talk, learning how to listen, learning how to remember and organize and what did I do before in this situation and recall and all of that. So I often tell parents, routines are anchors for the growing brain. And that's what we're talking about here a lot is how does the brain grow and learn or how do we learn to learn, right? Because you have to set that foundational stage. So I'm going to continue to remind you that it's not about strict schedules that rule us or dictate to us. Oh, we got to get here. And that's. And this is for another conversation, but that's where I am struggling in this stage of my career with daycare and preschool settings because those are way too strict. And they have this timeline. We got to do these 13 things before nap. And learning isn't very deep. Creativity is very superficial at best. Right. But. But we want. At home, you want to build that predictable pattern, so then they have that flexibility. And they can also express or understand what it feels like to be resilient if things don't work out as planned. How can I navigate around this? Because when young children know what to expect, then the world around them feels safer, feels organized. They're beginning to understand. And that sense of safety allows for predictability. And the rhythm, like I talked about, and the gentle repetition. And that's where learning comes in. Right. But it also allows then their nervous system to settle. And I've talked in previous episodes about how do we get that. That sensory system to integrate and build and begin to understand. So they're, they're then available. So routines and, and I've said this forever, but at home, at work, on the playground, whatever, routines aren't just about managing the day or managing someone's behavior. It's literally wiring their brain. And they support their emotional regulation, their sensory integration, which alongside is building that trust and creating the kind of environment where, like I said, and I'm going to keep driving this home because I do get this question over and over again. But then your toddler is ready to learn if they're feeling anxiety or stress or uncertainty or dysregular here. And sometimes it's. It's physiological. Right. Maybe they're having digestive issues, maybe they didn't sleep well. Maybe, you know, there's a lot of different reasons why they might not be sensing that groundedness that we're looking for. But when we organize the environment not with rigid rules, but with fluidity, then they can find that rhythm. And they know, oh, we've done this before. Right. And that there's consistency and it helps them with those transitions. Oh, I know I can come back and finish playing with the blocks. It reduces their level of frustration. And even if they get angry or frustrated that they can't can complete whatever task they're doing, they're available to listen and navigate through this. And we'll walk through some of those elements that you can use, but they will work with you. Right. And they really do. Then understand how you and I are in this together or the family unit where we're in it together because I'm important, whether I'm 2 or 4 or 14, it's. I am an active member in this family. And I think that that's what routines help begin to establish. And I do think that one of the most overlooked benefits of routine is how we are priming the brain for learning. And again, it's not about rigidity, it's not about checking off 14 things before lunch. And I'm going to more about the brain growth and development. But when children aren't constantly guessing what's next or what am I going to do or what does she expect, then their cognitive resources are freed up to learn and remember. I've said in here that cognition isn't about intelligence or iq. It's about being aware of your environment and beginning to understand how things work, how I work with you and vice versa, how we can play with certain toys. What does it mean to get dressed or to eat and share a meal together. What does it mean when I say two minutes and we're going to have to run on our errands? All of that, that's cognition. That's learning to understand how this world works and how I. This little person, right, 1, 2, 3 or 4, that they're not stuck in this survival mode, right? They're available to listen to you, they're curious of, oh, what's, what are we going to do? They're, they're open to imitate and learn. Oh, this is how I sweep the floor or this is how I brush my teeth. All of that is play based learning, right? It's, it's getting them to work with us and then we're also giving them that freedom to explore and learn on their own. And it's a process, but they have to feel relaxed in their environment, in their own body, in their working relationship with you to be available to access all of that. So I also want to assure you that routines are not boring and they're not restrictive. And when we do them right, they're actually a gift for everyone. I think they're a way to create order in a child's world that doesn't feel too fast or chaotic and it doesn't feel too loud or overwhelmed and it certainly doesn't make them feel unpredictable. Right? These little tiny beings who's been around for 12 months or 16 months or 24 months or even 36 months. That's not a lot of time to understand, but it gives us months and months and months from birth, really. But we're going to talk about those first six months opportunities to help guide them through this. Right. Okay, so let's break it down a little bit more. That when we create regular rhythm, what you're doing is organizing your day. Right. And I'm just going to highlight six main points here that what I kind of talked about in big pictures. But I just want to highlight these so then you can have them. So it's like I said, it's creating safety. Predictability reduces that stress for you and your child. When your toddler knows what's next, they don't have to be on edge or they don't have to guess. Right. Number two, building confidence. When your child can anticipate transitions or say, for example, they know after lunch we go outside, it boosts their sense of control. They know what to predict. And you can always cue them up as you're prepping for lunch. And maybe they're like, no, I want to go, okay, we're gonna go outside after we eat lunch. Right. They're not just being picked up and put into one activity over another, that they're really becoming active participants. Number three, it supports better sleep. And this really builds into, you know, consistent sleep schedules. Right. Both naps, if they're still napping, and bedtime. And it teaches the body and the brain how to, you know, power down and then charge up in the morning. I am actually having an upcoming episode on why we sleep, quote unquote. It's based on a book, but there's a lot going on during those sleep cycles. And it's important that you and I understand what's happening for us, the grownups, but especially your toddlers. Right. Today's purpose is really looking at how do we structure day. And I think of, you know, sleep and bedtime and morning time as bookends. They're the biggest anchors that. That we can have in our daily routine. And recently. Recently meaning the last few years for myself, I've really flipped the chart and said that I set an alarm in the evening to remind myself to go to bed on time. So then I have plenty of my seven or eight hours of sleep. Then I can wake up on time. I am an early morning person, and I can't push into the night beyond 9 or 9:30 because I naturally wake up at 5 or 5:30. So when we talk about bedtime routines for Your children. It's important that we look at the full picture. Those both bookends, right? That kids with steady. We know this for sure, that kids with steady bedtime routines fall asleep faster, stay asleep longer and wake up happier. And isn't that what we all want for ourselves and our kids? Right. And I think that alone is a huge gift for looking at routines. And that's why when parents ask me what's one thing that I can maybe start to implement this weekend or what do I need to look at, what's something that's an actionable step? It's like look at your routine and start with your bookends of going to bed on a routine and we will talk about the details and then how do you wake up? Right. Number four is under. What do we get from, from these routines is to ease transitions really. Because if you've ever, and I'm sure you have, if you have any child that's in walking range, if you try to end a playdate or leave a party or transition from the park and if you just say, okay, time to go, there's a massive meltdown. But if we help them with these routines and that they know ahead of time, okay, we're going to go to the park, I'm going to stay there for one hour. And they've experienced this before and they have kind of this overall sense of what one hour means, then they'll be much more receptive to transitioning away. And it's really about them beginning to understand the sequence of events they have experienced. Going, say to a play date or to the park, like I said, or we're going to go outside and just play at home. But they understand the sequence that we're going to play and then we're going to clean up and then we're going to fix dinner together and then we're going to clean up and then we have bath and then we have books and then we go to bed. That they understand. They're beginning to understand. Even a two year old will begin to really understand what the sequence of events are. And then transitions will de escalate and will actually build more understanding through their expectations and a lot less resistance, I assure you. And again, like I said in the beginning, it might seem like this is simple, this is basic, Erin. It's pivotal. It can really make or break your beautiful child's childhood and your time together. Right. All right, so number five and this little chronological benefit list is preparing them for change. And ironically, when we have more routines or more structure, it Helps kids adapt to the unexpected because it's building in experiences that have been successful. And they're learning to trust their environment, they're learning to trust you, they're learning to trust the relationship with you. That when things don't go the way planned, which they will, but they're more likely to be able to adjust. Say for example, you're traveling or somebody else is going to pick them up from grandma's house or whatever, you can share that with them and prep them. And as long as you have these other anchor points, then they will be able to adjust within these boundaries because they've had a successful, consistent day to day routine. Right. So if we keep these other parts stable like meals and you know, and I've always encouraged families and I practice this whenever we would travel when our daughter was young to really have meals and bath time and bedtime the same. Because if you have these big blocks that are secure again, you know, within a reasonable time frame, 20, 30 minutes, but it gives your toddlers that sense of continuity. They know that after dinner we're going to get ready for bed and then go down no matter where we're staying. Right. Whether you're on holiday or not. But, but it's important that we start establishing this so then they, when it really matters, they have it in them. Number five is, and I think this is huge, that it lightens their mental load and this is what I mean by it makes them more available. And I think that this is really true for us grownups as well as for them. But that once routines are established or they're rolling along, we're always going to tweak them. Right. The routine for a one year old is going to be different than two year old and three year old mostly because their sleep patterns, like naps are going to shift. But once we have a rolling routine, you don't have to re event. Let me say that again, you don't have to reinvent each day, right. You don't have to think on the fly or, or feel like you've missed something that we all you, you can get more done in your home life and the, and your, your tod feel at ease transitioning and building that sense of independence. And so lightening the mental load is good for them, but also good for us. It's the rhythm, right? The consistency that carries your family dynamics forward. And if you have to make less decisions and less chaos and less angst, then everybody's going to feel calmer. So I want to just at this point kind of zoom out a little bit and look at what the science is telling us about routines. And like I've said, as I've studied this on and off throughout the years, it's applicable to us grownups, to teenagers, to school age kids. But it's always best if we start as babies and toddlers. So why do routines really matter? You know, what's happening under the surface or under the hood? Like I like to say, the science of it really suggests that because routines create that rhythm and that rhythm regulates our nervous system, that sense of, oh, I know what's coming next. You know, after we have breakfast, then we clean up and then we're going to wash up and we're gonna go on two errands or whatever. The deal is, go to my babysitters, I have free play, or whatever your struggle structure is. But it helps your child's body and brain together feel secure, feel grounded. And when they feel that way, then, like I said, they're open to connection with you. Then they can play. And if you call their name, ah, they can listen, they can hear you, it opens to curiosity, oh, what can I do with these toys? And then opens also to that learning of communication, right? Whether it's, it's social engagement, whether it's turn taking, they're learning a new game, they're practicing with you, all of that. They're building their speech and their articulation. But if they're grounded, if they feel comfortable, then they're available. They're neurologically and physiologically ready to learn. And when we repeat daily patterns or routines, we wake up at the same time, we eat approximately the same time, we play, we nap, we eat again, we wind down. Then your child develops what researchers call predictive coding. And like I'm saying here, all the time is that's what you're doing. We're wiring the brain, we're wiring the neurological pathways to build physical skill, right? Walking, talking, climbing, scooting, all of those kinds of things, but also that social, emotional, oh, they know what they do after breakfast. That means that the brain becomes wired to anticipate and make sense of their daily life. And that predictability, just like you and me, when we know what's expected of us, it creates that calmness. And I think that that's why these poor 2 year olds get, get mislabeled, where you have the terrible twos, right? With all the tantrums, that's not absolutely necessary. I've always said that threes can be a little bit more stressful. And part of that is because they typically have more language, they have more memory and organization, and they can, you know, cognitively negotiate with you or try to navigate their, their, their wants and desires. So a two year old typically is a lot more redirectable, right? In, in my opinion. But this whole predictability and being able to be calm is not just about a parenting trick or even a speech language trick. It really is neurobiology. That's how we're wired. We, we're wired, of course, to survive, right? But the more, and if you think about it, way back when, when we were still, you know, hunters and gatherers, we had to predict our, our day and we followed the sun setting and rising and all of that, but provided that calm, regulated nervous system and then the brain has more space to learn, to connect, right? To build language and creativity. And I think I've said that three or four times here today, but at the end of the day, that's what it's all about, right? The parasympathetic versus the sympathetic nervous system. Right? The parasympathetic is the rest and digest. And if we're in a calm state, that's what we need when we go to bed, to be in that calm state. That's what we need when we want to learn and grow. But that sympathetic state is much more fight, flight or freeze. And the truth is, and I've seen this over and over again, both in clinical practice and then it's been backed by research, is that when a toddler is uneasy on the inside, whether they're tired or hungry, overstimulated, stressed, unsure, it becomes nearly impossible for them to learn anything. And I learned that early, early in my career, you know, the late 80s, early 90s, it was, it was as sensory integration was, was being introduced to kind of mainstream therapy and occupational therapist and a woman named Jean Ayres there at ucla. Was it UCLA or usc? Did you know she was the first one that really talked about sensory integration development? If their sensory system is on fight, flight or even freeze, they're not available to learn words or speech. They're not even available to learn how to play. And the most important thing, and I think this is what Gene Ayers taught me, was they're not even available to, quote, unquote, behave, right? Because what I finally understood is that it wasn't a discipline issue. It wasn't that he didn't want to sit in the chair or play with me, that it really was an internal state of dysregulation, right? That that sympathetic nervous system which is anything but sympathetic when we're under duress, that, that they just couldn't get themselves together to listen or to even play. Right. And it wasn't that they were choosing to quote, unquote, misbehave. Routines are much more than just, like I said, finding your checklist or managing your logistics of the day. It's really about creating your child. And it happens even in those first three to six months. It's really prepping them so then they can attend, they can listen, they can explore, they're ready to practice talking, they're ready to connect with you and learn how to take turns and share and imitate. They're ready to be engaged with. Right. And so if you take away anything from today, just remember this one thing that a calm brain is able to learn, but a dysregulated brain or dysregulated nervous system, they can't. Right. Your toddler isn't always giving you a hard time on purpose. Yeah, you're going to have those moments, but they're having a hard time. They're not giving you a hard time. The routines that we can develop help make life feel more manageable to you and your little one. And that's what our goal is always. Because I want to play and be engaged, that means that they get more out of my five minutes than they will if I sit down and try to force them to listen for an hour. So let's take a look at what your routine might look like for your toddler. And this is just an example. But there's of course, there's no single perfect schedule. That's what I mean, that you have to figure out what your family, your needs are. Your toddlers, what age is he? Do you have one? Do you have three? All of it. But let me kind of paint a picture of a simple weekday because I do want you, no matter what age they are, to keep it simple. And it will get complicated when they're early or when they're older for sure. But right now, depending on your child, a wake up time around 7 o'. Clock. Right. And maybe they can have an opportunity just to play by themselves quietly in the room and then you can have breakfast together. All right? Talk about your events for the day, what's on the schedule, what are you planning to do? Right. And, and pull him in to, to breakfast routine. Right. Maybe he can help you prepare it and clean it up together and you can start to establish that involvement which really he begins or she begins to take ownership. And when you're a 2 year old, you're not going to completely make the meal with, with you, but they can throw things in the trash, they can push in the chair, they can get the napkins, they can wash a few of the plastic dishes. You can give them a choice, do you want to set the table or do you want to wash the dishes and it's really getting them in. Or as you're preparing, they could be standing next to you and you know, stirring something, whatever the deal is, but make it peaceful, calm, not necessarily rushed. If everybody wakes up a half an hour too late, then it's like, oh my gosh, then it's stress and everybody then is on high alert, right? So wake up, have a little playtime, have some breakfast together, clean up together, and then you get dressed or you brush your hair, brush your teeth, whatever your routine is. And then you can ask them, we ate breakfast, we cleaned up, now we're brushing our teeth, what's next? Right, Because I want you to start even with a two year old asking them what's next? What do we do? Because you want to pull them in to start thinking again that things aren't happening to them, but they're an active participant. Whatever your weekly schedule is, maybe your child is going off to camp or maybe they do go to a preschool or maybe they go to grandma's house or Monday, Wednesday and Friday is different than Tuesday and Thursday. Whatever it is, you can build that up. But hopefully with the little, little ones you are able to keep them at home as long as possible. That's my new mission. Right, but when you're at home, those routines are incredibly important. So maybe on Mondays you go to the library, Tuesdays you play outside and you can look at the sensory bins or the water play or an obstacle course. And a few weeks back I actually talked a lot about screen free fun activities and I had a handout. So you can find that link down below. If you want something that you can hang on your refrigerator and refer to, but there's a link down below, then it's usually if you look at what your kind of daily routine is, somewhere between 8:30 and 11:30, give or take, that's the window to play or to do your errands. And again, going on errands could be play for him or her that they're learning. Whatever the task is going to the grocery store, going to drop off papers, whatever it is, right? And knowing that, okay, we typically have lunch at 11:30, right? And that we can prep together again, pulling them in, getting Them involved the amount of language, language based learning and being able to listen to questions and follow directions and organizing their steps and problem solving that you can provide for them through just everyday activities. That's huge. And then using meal times and cleanup times and organization times, that's all language rich engagement that you're wiring their brain. And I tell you that that's 1,000% more rich and meaningful and true learning than even a 45 minute one on one speech therapy session. In my humble opinion and as I've shared with you, I think you know, I was a pretty good speech therapist and I had some great sessions. But what you can provide at home, from wake up time to lunch, my speech sessions would never beat that. And so I think the more organized and fluency through your day and then they can begin to make those predictions. What do we do after we finish lunch? We take a nap, we go pick up brother, do laundry. I don't know what, what your days look like. You're gonna have to individualize that. We know somewhere around 3 o' clock after you pick up brother, we have a snack together. Hopefully it's a nutrient dense, avoiding ultra processed food. Right? Because we're always wanting to feed their brain, feed their body with whole real foods. And I have a whole series on that. But you, you also want this snack time as opportunity to share, to talk, to explore together. And you also want that the food choices to sustain them until dinner time. A couple, you know, couple more hours, whether you eat at 5, 30 or 6 or whatever. But the whole idea is then around 4:30 or 5 maybe you have a window. And I've talked to a lot of families about this. It's like, oh gosh, it's sort of referred to as the witching hour. Not quite ready for dinner, you're tired, the kid is getting cranky. But that's when you do something physical. You can have a dance party, you can go outside, you can get the mail, you can play tag, sort the recyclables, pull some weeds, water the lawn, whatever you can do physically, hopefully outside as the sun begins to set, right? But you use that time, whether it's 15 minutes or 20 minutes to do some activity, physical activity, to get them ready, use up whatever residual energy they have then for dinner so they're one hungrier and two settled in their own body so they can sit and share that meal with you again. And of course bring them in to dinner whether they're going to help you directly in the kitchen or set the table or put their toys away, whatever the deal is, but find that consistent behavior so they feel like they're a part of it. Then after dinner, clean up, pull them in as much as possible. With every year, they're going to have more and more responsibilities. And then it's not all on you. It's a family affair. It's fun, it's relaxing. It's not that big a deal anymore. Because when you mama and I mostly talk to you mama, but when you have to do it all all by yourself and maybe you know, your dad or your partner or whomever is in the living room playing with the kids and it's like, and I'm stuck in the kitchen. No, no, no, Right. But then somewhere around 6,45ish, give or take, take the bath, start to calm down, pick out your pajamas. This is when you start to dim the lights. And I've shared before in the past to, and I'll have some links to them. But to dim, use amber lights or Himalayan salt lamp lights, because you want to model how the sun is setting those colors because that's beginning to literally, this is where the neurobiology kicks in, that it triggers your internal clocks and that that circadian rhythm is like, oh, this is a natural wind down. You don't want the big lights at home, the overhead lights, the LEDs, all of that. You want to. Typically, what I say is once dinner, once you're kind of cleaning up, and even as I clean up my own dinner dishes, I'm always going to dim those lights. You know, have enough lights that you can see what you're doing in the kitchen. But. But start that process of winding down. Both because the artificial lights, and this is a big section of my sleep episode that's coming up pretty soon. But the artificial lights have really caused havoc on all of us, our babies, our toddlers, high schoolers and adults. But I think it's really important that for a few dollars you can have a couple of really soft amber lights or those Himalayan salt lamps that I think are great. And they could be in charge of the dimmers. Like, okay, we're getting ready to wind down. Go dim the lights. And again, they're part of that process. They're part of that routine. And I think it's really important that we respect Mother Nature. Right? I think God wired us this way for a reason. And once I started diving deep into the whole circle, circadian rhythm and internal clocks and how the light into our eyes are affected both in the morning and then again in the evening, it's pretty magnificent to think we need to take full advantage of this and then we all sleep better, all of us. Right? But the routine then is you have a story or you talk together in bed, you say your prayers, we, whatever your routines are. And then it's bedtime, it's nighttime and you turn out the lights and you could have and I've had a number of families recently where they've kept an amber light on, just a nightlight over off in the corner. Once they've fallen asleep, then you can turn that off because you want the room cold or cool and you want it dark. So when they do wake up and every family's different there, I know there's a lot of co sleeping going on and that can certainly be a part of our discussion. But in this routine, especially if you have slightly older toddlers like 2, 3 and 4, then once they have transitioned and gone to sleep, just turn off those night lights and like I said, I have a whole sleep. Maybe I think they ended up with two episodes. But it will launch next month and this is the perfect time for me then to share with you all that that after three years on this podcast, sharing my personal and professional and expert advice through Talking toddlers, I'm thrilled to finally announce that we're launching our YouTube channel. So each week you'll find my latest episodes in the video format designed to help you feel more confident, more informed, and really more connected. I know that that YouTube is a great resource to a lot of people. I know it is to me. And I have a number of the videos that we're uploading and formatting just for YouTube. So whether you're a new mom or you're just a curious caregiver, perhaps you're a great grandparent and eager to jump in, jump on over to YouTube, watch, learn and grow together. And don't forget to subscribe. Oh, the YouTube channel is actually called Higher Learning, which is my business name and that's spelled H Y E R. Higher is my last name. Higher Learning. And under there you'll you'll see the podcast, both the audio format and the video format. But don't forget to join my email list because there will be exclusive tips and tools in the future. And that link will be down below too, to so just to kind of wrap all of this topic up routines, I do want to include that sometimes summer can be more challenging because we have longer days. But as this is published, the days will start to get shorter and shorter because of the solstice. But also looking at Weekends sometimes can have a different rhythm to it. We still want to keep those bookends pretty solid, right? Our wake up and our going to bed and that's really important what happens during the day and those structures. But I think meal times are pretty solid and sleep times should be those big, big anchors. But be willing to tweak it and be flexible. The more they experience these routines and more begin to un understand, then they will have more flexibility if something's different. Again, like I said, if you're traveling or you have people visiting or you're going to an extra outdoor party or whatever, the deal is sometimes dinner will run later, sometimes naps will shift. All of that is okay. The most important part is that you're finding some consistency. You're building those patterns, not perfection, right? That it's really, like I said, you have those anchors and then you can wiggle between them. So one final thought that I want you to kind of walk away with today is that predictable rhythms really make your toddlers feel grounded, feel safe and secure. Because of that, then that really builds their ability to cooperate. And then that cooperation makes your day to day much more peaceful, much more fluid. Yes, it's going to be noisy, yes, it's going to be messy sometimes. But even in all of that, it's laying the foundation for them to be available to learn. Whether they're learning about puzzles or how to cook with you or how to make their bed or all of it. All of that rich learning through language, improving their behavior, building relationships. That emotional regulation, that is kind of a buzzword nowadays, right? Oh, my child is sensitive. Oh, he's just cranky. That's just his personality. I think there's a lot of environmental factors going on, right? And the key here, because I'm always looking at it through the neurobiology, is that learning this stuff don't just. They don't just happen, right? It doesn't just develop on their own. They're actually. And somebody a long time ago said that brains aren't born, they're built, right? And cooperation and understanding, that's built over time, day by day, event after event. And it's through these ordinary moments of your daily routine that they learn how to brush their teeth, that they learn how to get dressed, that they learn how to wait in bed because nobody else is awake yet, that they learn that they can play quietly by themselves if mom is on the phone. All these kinds of things is learned through experience. So if things are feeling a little chaotic in your home right now, then you can just start small, choose one of these anchors, right? Look at your mealtime planning, look at your morning and evening routine. And I think that that's always the best place to start to build that consistent bedtime routine. And it will take a, a little time, a little effort on your part. And you just share with them that, oh, this is what our new habit is. And I can't tell you, in the last several months, I've worked with several private families and just some small tweaks with even their evening routine through preparing the meals together, eating together, cleaning up together, and then getting ready for bed and bathing and story time, the night lights, all of that. Then everybody started sleeping better, and then they started waking up better. And so even these small wins are really, really powerful. They do create momentum, they do create a building of that and that the whole family begins to benefit. And that's what we want, right? We want to build excitement at the same time that we are building peace and a calm sense of self. So keep in mind, and I like to say this, that toddlers aren't trying to test you or even me. And I've modeled this over and over again with families in therapy that they're not really testing us. They're trying to build a trusting relationship, even though cognitively they don't understand that and even though they, they push back. But part of a lot of that pushback is trying to figure out, can I trust you? Right. That routines help make that possible. And so on a final note, if today has helped you and you're beginning to need to rethink this, and you're like, ah, I can do that, then you know, please share with another friend, another mom who is trying to figure this out in this noisy, chaotic, beautiful world that we live in. But it's, it's tricky business sometimes. And if you're ready to take a powerful, specific step forward, then you can check out my tiny challenge that I've launched a few weeks ago. Go. And that in just one short, focused week, you and I, we can tackle together a specific challenge that you're facing. And it could be about routines, it could be about picky eating, it could be about tantrums, speech, whatever it is that you and I get one to one time where I can support you, we can make a plan together and strategically solve this one specific challenge that really is tugging at your heart. And I have seen phenomenal growth in just one week. Five sessions. Like I said, if it's regarding screens or sleep or food or you're just feeling like, oh, I don't want to do this on my own. I need somebody to answer my questions specifically. You don't have to do it on your own. I'm here, so check out my tiny challenge. And I'd be more than glad to walk that walk with you. All right. Thanks again for spending your precious time with me. God bless, and I'll see you in the next episode.