Podcast Summary: Talking Toddlers

Episode 142: When Your Gut Keeps Whispering “Pay Attention”

Host: Erin Hyer
Date: February 10, 2026

Overview

In this episode, Erin Hyer, a licensed speech-language pathologist with over 35 years of experience, addresses one of the most common parental concerns: what it means when a baby or toddler isn’t talking “on time,” and how to respond when your parental instinct says “pay attention.” Erin reframes communication delays, challenges outdated advice, and provides brain-based, developmentally sound guidance for parents eager to nurture their child’s growth without fear or unnecessary pressure.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Nature of Parental Worry: When Words “Don’t Come”

• Erin reassures parents that a child who isn’t talking as expected is giving a signal, not a “sentence.”
  • “When your child isn't talking as expected, it's a signal, not a sentence. And signals tell us exactly where to start.” (02:50)
• Outdated advice like “just talk more,” “read more books,” or “wait and see” can amplify uncertainty, causing confusion and unnecessary waiting.
  • “With that incompleteness, it causes confusion and creates doubt. And for some families, it's creating a gap that widens while everybody waits.” (05:20)

2. A New Metaphor: Communication as a Bridge

• Erin uses the “bridge” metaphor to explain how speech and language develop:
  • Bridge Foundation: Right hemisphere (nonverbal, emotional, relational)
  • Guardrails: Gestures and nonverbal cues (pointing, facial expressions, body language)
  • Traffic: Words (left hemisphere, symbolic representation, structure)
  • “You cannot drive traffic across a bridge that hasn’t been built yet.” (08:45)
• Over-focusing on getting children to “say the words” pushes for traffic before the bridge and guardrails are in place.

3. Developmental Timeline: Brain Hemispheres and How They Work

• Right Hemisphere: Runs the show for roughly the first three years; processes rhythm, emotion, gestures, facial expressions, and early connection.
• Left Hemisphere: Handles structure, sound sequencing, labeling, grammar, and language processing — but is immature in the early years.
  • “The left hemisphere is truly under construction in those first three years... It’s immature. It's building bit by bit by bit.” (13:25)
• Pressuring for verbal output before the right brain foundation is ready can backfire and create stress for both child and parent.

4. Shift from Testing to Nourishing: The Three P’s

• Erin introduces the Three P’s for early communication:
  1. Present: Be there, not just physically, but emotionally.
  2. Purposeful: Make your words count; engage with intention (not just labeling or quizzing).
  3. Playful: Use daily routines as rich language opportunities.
  • “Human communication doesn’t grow from more pressure. It actually grows from the quality of those small shared moments built throughout your day...” (19:15)
• Purposeful language means embedding words in emotionally engaging, sensory-rich, and concrete experiences.
  • Example: Rather than “Say water!”, you might say, “Ooh, the water is cold, cold. My hands are wet. Let’s shake, shake. Brr, cold water.” (22:55)

5. Gestures: Not a Stepping Stone, But a Core Part of Communication

• Gestures are not “just” placeholders for words; they are vital developmental milestones and “guardrails” on the bridge.
  • “Pointing is a developmental victory. That’s a huge step. It’s sort of like equivalent to them taking their first two or three steps independently.” (30:20)
• A robust repertoire of gestures at 12–18 months predicts stronger spoken language later.
  • “Gestures predict spoken language better than any other single milestone.” (33:57)
• Celebrate pointing, waving, and homemade signs — and use them as building blocks for richer communication, not something to be rushed past or replaced by words alone.

6. “Wondering Out Loud”: Purposeful Invitations Over Testing

• Erin introduces “wondering out loud,” which invites participation without pressure:
  • Example: While unpacking groceries, Erin acts out a scenario: “Hmm, I wonder where these go...” as opposed to “Where do the paper towels go?” or “Tell me what this is.”
  • “You’re really inviting them in to participate, to help you, to engage with you. You’re inviting them in to help you solve a problem.” (39:20)
• This strategy honors all communication attempts (looks, points, approximated words), pulling the child into shared thinking.

7. Statistical Learning: How the Brain Really Learns Language

• The brain learns language through massive exposure, repetition, and engagement in meaningful routines — not drills, flashcards, or testing.
  • “The brain learns language through something that we call statistical analysis... your child's brain is constantly, and I mean constantly, asking, what are these sounds that I'm hearing?” (46:30)
• Routines (bath time, mealtime, bedtime, etc.) are the “real language lab.”
  • “Language grows inside predictable and meaningful patterns...” (48:55)
• Exposure to multiple languages remains natural and beneficial as long as the learning is low pressure and routine-embedded.

8. Active, Purposeful Waiting: Creating Communication Opportunities

• The phrase “wait and see” is misleading; instead, Erin encourages “active waiting” by intentionally creating gaps and pauses that invite the child to fill in with whatever communication method is available.
  • Example: Pausing at the sink before handwashing to invite participation (“What do we do first?”).
    • “You’re not testing whether they know what to do. That's not it. … But I want you to use that as a language lab to connect the language, the processing, and build it as a social communication.” (55:15)
• These opportunities should be woven naturally into life, not forced or artificial.

9. The Power of Prosody (“Parentese”): Coming Up

• Erin teases an upcoming deep dive into “prosody” (the musical, sing-song quality of parent speech) — a neurological tool for wiring the right hemisphere.
  • “Prosody is that sing song voice that we use naturally with babies. And it really is about wiring up that right hemisphere...” (01:04:35)

10. Closing Reassurance and Empowerment for Parents

• Erin ends by affirming that being present, purposeful, and connected never harms a child — and that every parent can grow in understanding and confidence.
  • “In more than 35 years of working with babies and toddlers... I have never once seen a child harmed by a parent being more present or more purposeful or more connected. Never.” (01:01:35)
• Parents are encouraged to take new knowledge and move forward without guilt, embracing the process over perfection.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “When your child isn't talking as expected, it's a signal, not a sentence.” (02:50)
• “You cannot drive traffic across a bridge that hasn’t been built yet.” (08:45)
• “Gestures predict spoken language better than any other single milestone.” (33:57)
• “You’re really inviting them in to participate, to help you, to engage with you. You’re inviting them in to help you solve a problem.” (39:20)
• “In more than 35 years... I have never once seen a child harmed by a parent being more present or more purposeful or more connected. Never.” (01:01:35)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Parent Worry & Incomplete Advice – 02:00
• Communication as a Bridge Metaphor – 07:45
• Brain Hemispheres & Development Timeline – 13:00
• Three P’s of Early Communication – 19:00
• Purposeful Language in Daily Life – 22:45
• Meaning and Value of Gestures – 30:00
• Celebrating Signs and Nonverbal Cues – 34:00
• “Wondering Out Loud” Strategy – 39:00
• How the Brain Actually Learns Language – 46:30
• Routines as Language Labs – 48:45
• Active Waiting & Creating Communication Gaps – 55:00
• Prosody (“Parentese”) Preview – 01:04:35
• Final Reassurance for Parents – 01:01:35

Tone & Style

Erin speaks with deep empathy, clarity, and gentle confidence, rooting her advice in brain science but always connecting it to the real, sometimes messy realities of parenting toddlers. Her language is supportive, non-judgmental, and aimed at empowering parents to trust themselves and their child’s unique process.

Takeaways for Parents

• Trust your gut: If you sense something, pay attention, but don’t panic.
• Communication is a slow-building process—nourish connections before expecting verbal “results.”
• Gestures are not “baby talk”—they are genuine communication and foundational for language.
• Use routines and everyday interactions as opportunities for shared attention and language-rich moments.
• Replace testing and quizzing with invitations and shared wondering.
• Move forward from today with new understanding, not guilt about past approaches.

For deeper dives into specific approaches (like prosody), Erin suggests subscribing to her community and attending upcoming workshops for hands-on support.

For more, visit the Talking Toddlers podcast page and check podcast notes for resources and workshop information.