Podcast Summary: Talking Toddlers with Erin Hyer

Episode 140: Why Some Toddlers Struggle to Talk (And What Actually Helps)
Release Date: January 27, 2026
Host: Erin Hyer, Licensed Speech-Language Pathologist

Episode Overview

In this episode, Erin Hyer draws from more than three decades of experience to untangle the complicated and often stressful world of toddler speech development. She lays out five common patterns she’s seen in families that quietly shape (and sometimes stall) how toddlers learn to speak. Rather than offering a checklist, Erin focuses on gentle shifts in everyday routines that empower parents—helping them support language growth through presence, connection, and understanding. Her message is: it’s not about doing more, but understanding differently.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Don’t Wait for Words—Watch for Understanding

Timestamps: 00:02 – 05:50

• Comprehension comes before talking: Erin warns that a major mistake is waiting for spoken words instead of observing signs of understanding.

  “Talking doesn't come before comprehension. Understanding comes first.” —Erin (00:02)

• When parents focus only on words, they can wait too long for intervention or support, missing early opportunities for growth.
• Speech and language grow best through slow, shared moments in everyday life—not by sheer volume of words or teaching.

2. Five Common Patterns that Quietly Affect Speech Development

Timestamps: 05:50 – 12:00

Erin introduces five patterns she frequently sees that impede natural speech development. Each is explained as an invitation for gentle change, not as a parental failure.

Pattern 1: Hearing Lots of Words, But Missing Back-and-Forth

Timestamps: 07:30 – 10:20

• Early weeks are characterized by rich, responsive face-to-face time. This often fades when life gets busy.
• Background language is valuable, but toddlers need true two-way interaction.

  “Babies and toddlers hear a lot of language, but experience far less back and forth communication that they actually need to build that language.” —Erin (07:37)

• The difference between language around the child and language with the child is crucial.

Pattern 2: The Myth of ‘Baby Talk’ Extremes

Timestamps: 17:10 – 23:38

• Parents tend toward extremes: using only adult speech or excessive cutesy talk.
• The ideal is “parentese”—slow, clear, warm, real language with pronounced syllables and pitch variation, not distorted or artificial baby words.

  “Parentese is not baby talk. It's real language spoken more slowly, with a little bit more warmth… Syllables are clearly articulated.” —Erin (21:11)

• Speak, then pause—don’t fill every silence. This helps the child process language and builds neural pathways.

Pattern 3: Overuse of ‘Helpful’ Modern Tools

Timestamps: 23:38 – 33:00

• Gadgets like sippy cups, bouncers, and especially screens are marketed as helpful but can limit movement, oral-motor development, and opportunities for social connection when overused.
• Speech requires whole-body readiness—built through tummy time, floor play, open cups, and physical autonomy.

  “Speech doesn't develop from the neck up. It's a whole body experience.” —Erin (26:40)

• Convenient tools should be used intentionally and sparingly, not as constant containment.

Pattern 4: Focusing Only on Words Instead of All Communication

Timestamps: 33:00 – 47:20

• Many professionals and parents misunderstand the importance of receptive language (understanding) compared to expressive (speaking).
• Erin outlines key pre-speech indicators:
  • Shared attention
  • Imitation (sounds, gestures, faces)
  • Use of gestures (pointing, clapping, reaching)
  • Following directions and social referencing

  “Talking does not come before understanding. Receptive language...is in the driver's seat.” —Erin (36:45)

• Quoting a personal story (43:25), Erin describes how focusing only on word counts can lead to unnecessary panic about delays or inappropriate diagnoses.

Pattern 5: Waiting for Kids to ‘Outgrow’ or for a Label

Timestamps: 47:20 – 55:15

• The phrase “every child develops at their own pace” often becomes an excuse to delay intervention until a child’s skills significantly lag behind.
• Erin pushes back: While every child is unique, there are typical developmental windows and patterns.
• Early support should protect the child’s learning trajectory, not automatically assign a diagnosis or label.

  “Early support shouldn't label your child. Early support should protect your child's trajectory of growth and learning.” —Erin (51:38)

• She challenges parents to ask questions sooner, not later, and not to accept "slow talking" as a benign, normal variation without reflection.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On using language purposefully:

  “What we want is talking and sharing and then waiting, giving them time to process.” (16:15)

• About movement and tools:

  “Modern life may feel convenient in those moments...but there's always a payoff somewhere. Over time, that convenience can show up as less confidence, weaker independence.” (29:11)

• On receptive language:

  “Receptive language is not passive. Please hear me when I say that...it's truly cognitively demanding.” (36:58)

• On the pressure parents feel:

  “This does not mean narrating nonstop, which I see a lot online... I feel like you're being misled.” (15:09)

• On parental agency and faith:

  “You don't need perfection. You need support, perspective, and guidance at the right time.” (58:08)

• Clinician’s warning about ‘labeling’:

  “Seeking guidance shouldn’t automatically mean therapy is needed or a diagnosis will be ‘found.’” (51:55)

Important Segments with Timestamps

• Introduction & why waiting is a mistake: 00:02 – 02:30
• How speech development unfolds: 03:45 – 05:30
• Pattern 1: Not enough two-way communication: 07:37 – 10:50
• Clarifying ‘parentese’ vs baby talk: 17:11 – 22:50
• Why oral-motor and whole-body experiences matter: 26:40 – 29:15
• Misconceptions about comprehension and first words: 36:45 – 42:00
• When to be concerned and ask for help: 47:20 – 53:13
• Parental overwhelm and encouragement: 58:08 – end

Practical Takeaways

• Lean into real, two-way communication: Give your child opportunities to take turns, gesture, and respond—don’t just talk at them.
• Use parentese, not cutesy or distorted ‘baby talk’: Be slow, warm, clear, and use real language.
• Limit overuse of gadgets: Promote movement, open cups, floor time, and facial interaction.
• Celebrate understanding and all communication, not just spoken words: Gestures, eye contact, and comprehension matter.
• Don’t wait to ask questions: Early support protects potential; labels and diagnoses are not the goal.

Final Thoughts & Erin’s Message

Erin wraps up by encouraging parents to view their everyday interactions as powerful opportunities—reminding listeners that building language is about presence, patience, and intentionality, not perfection or pressure. She underscores the importance of noticing subtle development markers and trusting that small, informed changes in routines can yield significant long-term growth. Whether or not you come from a faith tradition, Erin’s closing reassurance is that all parents can grow into their role with the right support and perspective.

To learn more or sign up for Erin’s upcoming workshop on fostering toddler language in daily routines, check out the show notes.

Summary prepared for listeners who want a thorough, actionable understanding of the episode’s core lessons—no fear, guilt, or pressure required.