Transcript
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And I did some things I probably shouldn't. One being calling my ex every day. And that did teach me a lot of things. And it helped me teach you a lot of things. Let me make mistakes for you so that you don't have to. You do not want to be the person that they're talking about in the group chat. You're going to walk away and you're going to be the best thing that he never had. Everyone's like, how do you give so much advice when you're single? I'm not settling for these a holes, okay? I am single by choice and I'm happy for it. But with that being said, I did enjoy the ride. And welcome back to my podcast, Tall Blonde. Hey, guys. And welcome back to my podcast, Tall Blonde. I don't know why I said welcome back, because this is a totally different podcast. But for some of you, you do remember I had an old podcast way back when, and I'll explain that later, but this is a whole new series. This is a whole new bits and pieces of my life, okay? I know a lot of you know me for giving advice, kind of breaking it down for you. The how to's, the what to do when he doesn't answer the ph. Anything. I'm here for you, okay? But this is a longer version. This is more of me. This is the embarrassing stories. This is everything you want to know and you probably don't even want to know, and I'm here to give it to you, okay? I'm the big sister advice here. Anything we can range from, absolutely anything that you're wondering, I will answer it, okay? I promise you. Down to the nitty gritty. But for those of you who don't know me, my name is Sarah Lawrence and I am from London, Ontario, but I am now living in Toronto, Ontario. I did do my undergrad in Toronto at Ryerson University, but now it's called Toronto Metropolitan University, I think. And then I moved to New York for the past two years, which was a lot, and we will dig very deep into that. But I am now settled in to my Toronto apartment. New York was a great learning experience, but it just wasn't for me. So let's get into it, okay? I started Instagram and TikTok way back when, when everyone was kind of just posting it over. I went into TikTok when it was like, I want to say Covid. That was when everyone was kind of getting into it and I was the normal person to post a little bit more often than not on Instagram. But I wouldn't like try to be an influencer, you know, So I didn't think it was gonna get me anywhere. I went to my master's at Parsons because as a fashion student that was my end goal. And I think that's a lot of people end goal in fashion is to make it to New York and do all that or Paris and go to Parsons. But I did it. I achieved that goal and that was great. But it was absolutely not what I thought it was going to be. And that is okay. So I thought that it was going to be just like undergrad. And for me, undergrad was the best four years of my life. I lived with four girls and they were all my best friends. Well, there was four of us, me being the fourth. So I lived with three girls and they were all my best friends. We had an amazing house and it was stunning. It was like four floors. We had a full kitchen, a full dining room. I thought that that was the norm until later, but I was, I loved it. I loved every single thing of it. I learned so much. Everyone was my age or maybe a year or two older, and I just became best friends and found my people. You know that feeling when it's. You're around like minded people and you just feel safe, you feel secure, you feel like you should be there? That's exactly how I felt. And then fourth year ends, I graduate, I apply to Parsons and I'm like, okay, listen, I don't know how many times it's going to take me to get in, but I'm going to apply every year until I get in. Because I need to do this. This is my end goal. I want to just make it in New York. Got there and started school, didn't know anyone, no family there, no friends there. Moved into apartment alone. And I've never been alone. Like I've always lived with my family and then girls and then I was alone. So it got lonely. It got very, very, very lonely. And I did some things I probably shouldn't. One being calling my ex every day and listen, I know we should have cut that off a long time ago, but that did teach me a lot of things. And it helped me teach you a lot of things. Okay? And I have a lot. Let me make the stakes, let me make the mistakes for you so that you don't have to. I think that is my motto at this point, or was. But going to New York, finally made it there. Everyone in my program was. I mean, there were a few people my age, but a lot of them were like 10 years older than me. They were on a totally different path at the time. They had families, had children, didn't even live in the city. They would just commute. And they did this as to help their career. And then they were gonna move back home and, you know, use this as a platform to enhance whatever they were doing. And for me, this was just a stepping stone to my career. I didn't even know what the end goal was. I just knew that it was to get to New York. And I got there and I'm like, okay, what now? Needless to say, it was difficult. It wasn't the same as undergrad. The course was fine. I mean, it was a lot easier, my master's program in New York at Parsons than Ryerson was. But that might just be because I had to learn the fundamentals in Ryerson. And then I applied them in my master's. So that could have been it, but a lot easier. It was just a one year program, so it was like a full year. So I think it was like August 20th something to August, whatever, 2022 to 2023. And I was 22 at the time, so I was young. And it's, I mean, I was still an adult, but it's like really hard to make friends as an adult, which I didn't realize. I didn't get it. I didn't understand. I thought, I mean, I was so lucky to have it so easy and make friends right away in undergrad that I thought that's how it was going to be in my master's, but it just wasn't. I, yes, was with like minded people and I met so many great professors and people that I still have in connection that are friends or that I would, you know, connect for business reasons. And I love that. But it just wasn't the best friends like I met in undergrad. And it didn't give me that safety that I had before. So I finished the program, I went straight to work and I worked. And it was, I mean, a great learning experience. I worked in PR for a fashion showroom in SoHo, Manhattan. And it was a lot of work. I mean, I think I could start my own PR firm by myself at this point, but we're not gonna do that. But throughout the way, because I was so lonely and because I didn't make friends right away, and because I found making friends, making true friends as an adult so hard, I kept FaceTiming or calling people from back home. So I would have on FaceTime, my best friend, probably all hours of the day we wouldn't even talk to each other, we'd be doing totally different things and we would just be on FaceTime, honestly wasting time. But it felt comfortable. It was my sense of home. And if I wasn't calling her, I was calling my ex. And maybe I should have picked a different friend. But I chose him because he was a safety, he was a reminder of home. And I kind of lived through him at the time. And as much as I know now, and I've grown to understand that it did more damage than it did good at the time. It was a quick release, it was a quick solution to my problem. So did that. But we were on and off. I mean, infidelity happened and we broke up again. I mean, it happened before I left, but it happened as well as when I left and we ended. So I got into the New York dating scene and the only word I can probably describe the New York dating scene is trauma or horror. Because in Toronto it's not great. I mean there's still those assholes, there's still those idiots that think they can get anybody and do whatever they want and not suffer any consequences. But in New York it's just elevated. Everyone makes a lot of frickin money and they have great houses and apartments and beautiful clothes and designer this, designer that. And I think it kind of gets to their head a little bit. They have a lot and they don't almost. I mean a lot of them don't want to settle down, they want to just have fun with the money that they're making, the job that they're into making it in New York and so many girls flock to them that it was difficult to have someone settle down. And I wasn't used to that. I mean, in Toronto, everyone that I had a thing with wanted to date me and I'm a lover girl. So I was looking to date in New York and that didn't help. That didn't happen for me. Everyone's like, how do you give so much advice when you're single? Listen, I'm single by choice. I'm not settling for these a holes, okay? I am single by choice and I'm happy for it. But with that being said, I did enjoy the ride. Like I want to say this is very blunt and this is very honest. I probably had situationship wise more than three, less than eight, five or six, maybe seven. We're drawing the line at seven because I think seven is even pushing it a little bit. But I mean those were great. That was a very big learning Experience. I think my friends from back home literally used me as, like, story time. Like, I. It was hilarious. Like, I was the joke. Because dating in New York is insane. And we'll get into that in another episode, because that is a whole hour of a talk, and I will get way too wound up. This is just the beginning. Okay, I don't want to scare you off too soon, but back to New York and back to how I even got here and how I got to social media and why the hell I'm even doing a podcast right now. So because I was so lonely and because I was so uncomfortable in living alone in New York, I started to just take TikTok's for fun. It. I like to dress up, I like to do my makeup, and I like to be in front of a camera. And I mean, this is kind of cringy to say, but I love to hear myself talk. I could talk to a wall for four hours if it wasn't a crazy thing to do. So I would just take these TikToks and I would talk about my dating experience. I would talk about the difference between Canada and America, and I would talk about, you know, the issues that I was having, anxiety, things that were going on in my life, and people, I think, just understood or found it amusing or could make fun of me or found it funny or could relate, anything, and people were reaching out. So I was like, okay, let me just keep doing it. It's fun. I can find people and find friends through this. So I would keep doing it. And one day I woke up and I had. I think it was. Let me even pull it up, because it was one of, like, my best videos. It was how to know. It was things guys do when they don't like you. And I found those out the hard way. But I made that, and I got, like, 40 million views on it. And then I think it was like New York Times and Daily Post posted about it. I mean, a lot of our. Like, a lot of publications and press posted about it. Some were very negative, but press is press exposure is great. Anything talking about you is good. Is good. You know, you're getting your name out there. Some people were chirping me. Some people were laughing at it. Some people called me a dating expert, which I am not. But I learn more every day. And I will tell you what I wish I did and not to do exactly what I did. But that's why I kind of got into TikTok. And then I didn't want to post things on Instagram because My dad's friends have me on there, my mom's friends have me on there, my brother's friends have me on there. People that I actually know, maybe professors in my past, and I was like, ain't no way I'm going to tell them how to know a guy doesn't like you, like, really me saying that they're going to unfollow me. So I just didn't. And I left it to TikTok. And then I was like, I have to. I have like zero followers on Instagram and a lot of followers on TikTok. So I just started posting them recently, within the last, I want to say, like six months to a year. And, I mean, I'm growing, but I'm nothing in comparison to TikTok. And TikTok's my favorite. I feel like I'm talking to, like, people that actually relate and want to hear me speak. So it's. It's fun, it's funny. I'm never gonna stop. I wanna do it more. And I get DMs a lot of the time of people telling me their stories and asking for help or asking for guidance or asking for, you know, a bit of coaching into what I would do in that situation. So that's why I'm here. And, you know, it's not gonna be perfect. You might not agree with everything I say, but let's talk about it. Let's talk about the things that. I mean, I would always go to YouTube to, like, search things of how to do this, how to kiss for the first time, how to talk to a boy, how to flirt. And, I mean, they didn't really do it justice. So I like to think of myself as the person that's actually gonna talk about it because it is cringey, it is awkward, it is difficult to talk to your friends or your parents and people about those things. And I'm an open book. So ask me anything. And if you don't want to be named, I will consider you anonymous and we can talk about it, because I guarantee not just you have that question, but thousands and thousands and thousands of other people will have those questions, too. So that's me. If you have any other questions about me, please do ask, because I will get straight to those. But I wanted to make this a little fun. And the person that brought a lot of fun to my life since moving here to Toronto is my roommate. And I asked a few days ago for people to tell me some traumatic things or questions that they have about, you know, the dating scene. And I got a lot of replies. So we're actually gonna go through a few of them and talk about our perspective on it. What we think about the topic just open up to you about what we think because we've both been in long term relationships, we've both been through a lot of shit in our life, we've both overcome a lot of things. And even talking to her, she is a very strong individual through tough times. So I take her word and I think you should too. So for further ado, let's welcome Amy.