Tara Brach Podcast

Episode: Letting Go of Controlling: The Path of Freedom, Part 2
Date: February 12, 2026
Host: Tara Brach

Episode Overview

In this episode, Tara Brach continues her exploration of control as a survival strategy and delves deeply into the ways that letting go of controlling—both individually and collectively—frees us to experience greater presence, intimacy, and spiritual freedom. Drawing on personal anecdotes, ancient myths, history, and meditation techniques, Tara examines the costs of over-controlling and the liberation found in surrendering into awareness, feeling, and love.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Roots and Impact of Control

• Control as Survival:
  • Controlling stems from fear and evolutionary survival strategies—“The more threatened we feel, the more vigorously we try to control our lives… like struggling in quicksand.” (01:38)
• Global and Personal Dimensions:
  • As fear and insecurity rise globally, societies and individuals default to more controlling and rigid behaviors, sometimes manifesting as authoritarianism or self-criticism.
  • “Controlling is not a recipe for happiness, for intimacy, for presence, for peace, for freedom.” (02:53)
• Personal Story:
  • Tara shares her experience of getting a new puppy and being forced into an “imperfect, fragmented” process, making peace with lack of control and learning to let go (04:00–06:00).
  • Memorable Moment:
    • “Making peace with imperfection… letting go for this last week into the flow of her biology, her moods, and making peace with imperfection.” (05:13)

2. Myths and the Human Response to Change

• Ego and Fear:
  • “From the ego’s perspective, the last thing we want to do is release the grip, to let go.” (06:04)
  • Quoting Anthony De Mello: “Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable.” (07:06)
• Cultural Reflections:
  • Folk anecdote: the “man chased by a tiger” joke highlights our reluctance to deeply surrender (05:22–06:04).
  • The Greek myth of Persephone is used to examine how cultures have confronted cycles of loss and renewal (18:15–21:45).

3. Historical Roots of Mystical Surrender

• The Eleusinian Mysteries:
  • Ancient Greek initiation rites encouraged direct mystical experience—facing death and transcending ego—through rituals often involving psychoactive substances and storytelling.
  • Quote from Cicero:
    • “We have learned from [the mysteries] the fundamentals of life and have grasped the basis not only for living with joy but also for dying with a better hope.” (21:45)
  • The rituals fostered community, direct spiritual experience, and resilience in the face of impermanence.
• Suppression of the Mystical:
  • The rise of the patriarchal, controlling ego—especially within organized religion—opposed the direct mystical approach, leading to the suppression of these rites and roles for women (25:30–28:00).
  • Quoting Alan Watts:
    • “Nothing could be more alarming to the ecclesiastical hierarchy than a popular outbreak of mysticism… For this might well amount to setting up a democracy in the kingdom of heaven.” (28:36)
  • Consequence: large-scale disconnection from the sacred, the earth, and the sense of belonging.

4. Letting Go in Modern Contexts

• Severed Belonging and the Call to Awaken:
  • “Our current global challenges and trauma [are] severed belonging… a call to awaken awareness, to replant in the universe.” (30:20)
  • Draws upon D.H. Lawrence and Yeats to frame humanity’s spiritual uprootedness and the longing to reconnect.
• Resurfacing of Spiritual Paths:
  • Modern access to meditation, yoga, and plant medicine as forms of letting go and reconnecting with presence and the sacred (32:10–34:50).
  • Tara’s personal story about her own experiences with psychedelics and insight:
    • “That pure loving awareness was more true than any story about myself.” (36:06)
    • “By opening to fear, not resisting, I opened a sense of being beyond that separate self.” (37:20)

5. Practical Pathways for Letting Go

• Letting Go of Thoughts:
  • Training to release the grip of thoughts is foundational.
  • "It’s so crucial to train ourselves to release the grip of thoughts, the trance of thinking. It’s the first step of replanting in the universe." (40:20)
• Letting Go of Resistance to Feelings:
  • Becoming curious about “what am I unwilling to feel?” and gently encouraging awareness to permeate sensations in the body (44:25–47:30).
  • “Letting go of resistance is like saying yes to life.” (48:30)
  • Supportive attitudes: curiosity, gentleness, friendliness.
  • Guided reflection:
    • Exercise on unclenching a fist as an analogy for releasing resistance (45:00+).
• Letting Go Into Love:
  • “Love heals fear. Love removes the feelings of separation that keep us clenching.” (52:15)
  • Story of Frank Ostaseski at Zen Hospice:
    • The dying man finds peace in “rest in love”; this becomes a mantra to shift his relation to pain and fear (54:00).
  • Letting in love brings us into a “field of loving that has no division.”
• Letting Go Into Awareness:
  • Surrendering into awareness as the deepest letting go—“letting life be as it is” (01:08:40).

6. Application to Challenging Moments

• Tara’s Personal Example:
  • Response to a public, critical email: working through layers of thought, body feelings, and ultimately, love and presence.
  • “What is love asking from me?” led to a compassionate, authentic response (01:02:00–01:06:20).
  • Important realization: “The ego can’t let go. We can only be willing to be present with what’s happening. And that is the root of letting go.” (01:07:20)
• Forget & Remember:
  • The practice is a cycle: “The path is forgetting and remembering.” (01:10:40)
  • “Controlling separates. Letting go, letting be reveals our innate belonging.” (01:15:37)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Control:

  “You have just let the idea of control replace the natural flow.”
  — Tara Brach, retelling a Taoist master’s lesson (02:56)

• On Surrender:

  “Enlightenment is absolute cooperation with the inevitable.”
  — Anthony De Mello, quoted by Tara Brach (07:06)

• On Dying While Alive:

  “…dying while yet alive, allowing this realization of beingness of that sacred, formless, timeless presence beyond our changing thoughts and forms.”
  — Tara Brach (36:40)

• On Collective Healing:

  “A society that fails to incorporate mystical experience is flawed. It has disease.”
  — Tara Brach (29:15)

• On Resting in Love:

  “Rest in love. Because it works for all fears.”
  — Frank Ostaseski, story retold by Tara Brach (54:41)

• On the Path:

  “The path is forgetting and remembering.”
  — Tara Brach (01:10:40)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:10] Introduction to theme: letting go of control for personal and collective awakening
• [05:00] Personal story: Getting a puppy, living with imperfection
• [06:04] Ego’s aversion to letting go; survival response to fear
• [18:15] Myth of Persephone, Eleusinian Mysteries, ancient approaches to loss and renewal
• [21:45] Cicero and Marcus Aurelius on the transformative power of the mysteries
• [25:30] Historical suppression of mystical rites and women’s roles
• [28:36] Alan Watts on mysticism and religious authority
• [30:20] Severed belonging and the yearning to replant ourselves spiritually
• [36:06] Tara’s own mystical experiences with psychedelics
• [40:20] Letting go of thoughts, beginning of practical guidance
• [44:25] Letting go of resistance—body-based reflection
• [52:15] Letting go into love, Frank Ostaseski’s hospice story
• [54:40] Power of “rest in love” mantra
• [01:02:00] Tara’s example: receiving a critical email, step-by-step letting go
• [01:10:40] The forget/remember cycle and path of surrender
• [01:13:00] Closing meditation: exploring the domains of letting go

Flow and Tone

Tara’s tone is warm, empathetic, vulnerably self-disclosing, and gently didactic—grounded in both contemplative presence and a rich appreciation for history, myth, and psychology. She weaves personal stories, historical accounts, guided practices, and poetic quotations together, always circling back to the invitation to be present and compassionate, both with ourselves and with the world.

Practical Takeaways

• Notice your controlling responses—what are your habitual strategies?
• When you notice fear, anger, or resistance, pause to inquire:
  • What am I believing?
  • What am I unwilling to feel?
  • Can I bring loving attention to myself or the situation?
• Practice letting go in steps:
  1. Letting go of thoughts
  2. Letting go of resistance to feelings
  3. Letting go into love
  4. Letting go into spacious awareness
• Use mantras and reminders—like “rest in love”—to support presence
• Remember: the path is ongoing, and true letting go is rooted in awareness, not willpower

Listen for the full guided meditations and personal stories interwoven throughout the episode.
“Controlling separates. Letting go, letting be reveals our innate belonging.” (01:15:37)