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Foreign. Welcome friends, to the Tara Brak Podcast. I'm so glad you're here. Each week I share teachings and guided meditations to help us awaken our hearts and bring healing to our world. You can learn more or support this offering by visiting tarabrock.com where you can also join our email list. Now let's explore together the many ways we can live from the love and presence that's our deepest essence. Namaste. Foreign. Welcome friends. Thank you so much for being here. As many are aware, I begin with Namaste. It's a ritual I've been doing for decades. It's a living ritual for me. In the moment that I bring my palms together and say that word, my heart feels more awake. I feel more connected. And in the west, as we know, the common ritual is the handshake, which actually the meaning of the handshake is I'm not carrying a gun. And it's a way that helps each other feel more at ease, which is really important. And the daily gesture from the east goes further. Namaste says, I'm honoring the spirit, the light, the sacredness that lives through you and me and this whole life. It's a bow to the intrinsic goodness of being. So I was reflecting what to explore together this week. You know, we're approaching the winter solstice in the northern hemisphere and for many these are a time of holy days. And so I felt called to the inquiry of what would it be like if we took on Namaste as a daily practice where we intentionally turn towards our own light and look towards and honor the light of each other. And of course, it doesn't have to be the word Namaste or a bow. It's a way of saying, okay, I'm going to pause and deepen attention in a way that brings up a kind of reverence for life, for the indwelling spirit, the felt sense of sacredness in myself and in others. Part of my inspiration was that I did a day long workshop a couple of weeks ago and we ended by walking around and bowing to each other saying Namaste. And of course we had our version online of seeing another and saying Namaste. And you could feel in the atmosphere, the world that we long for, you know, that presence, that care, that respect. And I felt tears because there's also that sorrow at how far we are from that, at the deep darkness that we're living in right now. So instead of cherishing life, there's really defiling. It's happening in such horrific ways. And at such scale. So of course that affects our lives, our hearts, the way we relate to ourselves and each other, just that mood. I mean, it's very difficult to live in the current atmosphere and not get entranced into bad othering, which you hear me speak of a lot. And I've shared how I witness myself when I take in the news that instant, taking sides, you know, sensing the other as lacking in ethics, lacking in heart. And so I can begin the day and meditate and feel the world in my heart and the light shining through all. And then a few hours in, in a flash, very small minded place. I know that this is the way we're all wired. I mean, the survival brain is being continually activated by a sense of vulnerability, uncertainty, feeling unsafe. And when that's happening, we focus on who we consider the enemy or the threat or the problem. And that survival brain activation is a very quick twitch. You know, it's almost reflexive with those who have different views. You've probably noticed that we really don't like people to disagree. You know, we're very identified with our views, with our sense of rightness. So in personal relationships, when somebody disagrees, it can feel almost like a rejection. I mean, we don't want to be wrong. It seems to touch a wound of feeling unworthy or flawed. I remember from this is a story from years ago, a little girl talking to her teacher about whales. And the teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow up a human being because even though it was a large mammal, its throat is very small. And the little girl said, but Jonah was swallowed by a whale. And the teacher was kind of annoyed and said again that a whale could not possibly swallow a human. And the little girl replied, when I get to heaven, I'll ask Jonah. And the teacher asked, well, what if Jonah went to that other place? The little girl without a moment's hesitation, then you ask him. So this survival brain, in a flash it creates an other and often a bad other kind of opposition. It's a trance. When that happens, our perceptual apparatus gets very confined because we're just focusing on what's wrong and we lose sight of another's humanity, of another's goodness. As we know the same process happens equally quickly on ourselves. We turn on ourselves in a moment and it's our habit to be pretty ongoingly scanning for what's wrong and in some way relating with critique and not seeing something larger, the larger truth of our goodness. So I want to take a little time with this on what helps us to wake up from that trance and in some way honor offer that spirit of namaste to our inner life. And many of you I know have explored the loving kindness meditation where we look at our goodness and we offer blessings or well wishes to ourselves. And so many report that that it's really difficult to tend to our own being in a loving way, to look towards our own goodness. It can feel like this awkward juggling act of, okay, now I'm the witness and I'm viewing this being in a benevolent way. And what do I like? Well, honesty or caring? It's like. It's almost like going through the motions without a deep sense of, ah, this is goodness. And when I say goodness, I don't mean my personal goodness, but this is a purity, a light, a love. That's beautiful, that's good. So part of what happens is that while we might sense, have some understanding that that basic goodness is there, it feels incompatible with the other parts of ourselves that we don't like. You know, the anger, the jealousy or the judgment or the gre. And because of the negativity bias, that's more what we're paying attention to. I mean, that's what we organize our identity around so that even when others remind us of good qualities, maybe a kind action we did, there's a part of us that discounts it and says, well, you know, I did that because I wanted the other person to like me or I wanted to feel good about myself. So the mix motives cancel out the sense of goodness. I love the story of a bus of kindergarteners and they're on a school trip and a little girl goes to the driver and hands the driver a handful of peanuts. And the driver's touched and he says, oh, they must think I'm hungry and says thank you. And he feels really good about it. And 10 minutes later she comes with another handful and again. Oh my gosh, how generous these children. The third time she did it, he said, honey, you and your friends should keep them and enjoy them. And she said, oh, no, we just like sucking the chocolate off of them, you know. So the truth is, of course, we have mixed motives in all our relationships. There's parts of us that are going to be wanting attention or wanting control or validation or comfort or safety for the person to change in the way we want them to change. That's going on. And we love the love is there, it's intrinsic. So the point is the play of wants and judgments. Don't deny our basic goodness. Another this is a cartoon with this guy is sitting with a guru on the top of a mountain and the guy is holding a warm steaming bowl and the guru is saying to him, you can have inner peace or you can have chili beans, but you can't have both. I just, this is almost like I needed an excuse to share that because I thought it was so cute. But you can have both. I mean, you can have human imperfections and an essence that is love, light, you know. So the point is that our basic goodness is not tainted by emotions, moods, personality, thoughts, gas, sorry, but any more than the sky is tainted by changing weather. Now you might be thinking, well, but my flaws are more than just wants and judgments. They're actions that actually hurt people, their addictions, whatever that really cloud over goodness. It's very hard to trust. It's there. So let me share a story. I shared this with the day long group because it's a recent one. It was I think the last week of November, really stressful. There was a whole lot going on, a lot I needed to do. We have a new puppy, which she brings great joy. And also these small golden puddles in the wrong places. I know, you know. So Jonathan and I had our hands full and then we both got the flu, some form of flu. And we felt utterly crummy. And worse for me, it just, it messed with my favorite anxiety hack, which is of course crossing things off the list to do. I mean I, I just couldn't do much. So my least appealing sub personality showed up and I just became kind of entitled and demanding and controlling and pushy. And Jonathan, he was a couple of days behind me in the flu, so I was a little bit more miserable. That was my claim. He was the only two legged around for me to engage with on a peak day of sickness. That subpersonality would say something and moments later the witness or whoever the larger space of awareness is would say, I can't believe I'm being this way. You know, I need to try to be softer, more gracious, more respectful. And then it would happen again. Something. I'd blurt out something and then again. So the end of the evening we were sitting together and I apologized and Jonathan was very kind. He said, well, you're sick. I said, yeah, but you know, I can get like this at other times. And he admitted that there was some truth to that. The next morning I was meditating and I was in touch with my dislike for this controlling, pushy self. And it really felt like full blown shame. You know, I don't like who I am and so I deepened presence and investigated. And the belief is, because this is the way I am, I'm unlovable. And it was very kind of the feeling was a very sinking, hollow, achy place. And so, you know, I put my hand on my heart, as I do, and I said, what do you need? And the tears were just wanting to feel lovable and belonging anyway, even though I'm like this, that kind of feeling. And so as a way of nurturing, I called on the beloved, which is my way of saying. I called on a larger space of love, of light, a larger heart space, and just asked, you know, asked to be held, asked to be reminded that I was okay. And the message was so clear. It was that you are more than this part. Goodness is here, you are more. Goodness is here. It's what you are. And I imagined that presence, that loving presence kissing me on the brow. And with that, there was a real dissolving into that love, into that light. And I'll just say that I do that on and off as part of my practice. It's a very ancient, archetypal tenderness that we touch into with that sense of blessing, of being blessed. I think of it, the kiss on the brow, as the feminine version of Namaste. So sitting there and just there's that disillusion and there was tears, that sense of. That this love and light is what we are. And how sad it is that we forget. Kind of like that moment when I was watching everybody say Namaste during the day long. How sad that we forget that our sense of who we are gets so defined by the parts that are fearful and hurting. I sometimes think of Father Gregory Boyle, who says, love yourself as God loves you. He talks about the no matter whatness of God. I really like that, the no matter whatness of God. That possibility of no matter what we're experiencing. On some level, we can sense Namaste honoring the goodness, sense that kiss on the brow. That whether we think of it as God or the universe or loving presence, we're still held, we're still cherished. We all forget. We all forget. We all need pathways to remembering this larger truth of intrinsic goodness. So the practice of Namaste, of seeing the goodness that's here, of in some way honoring it or sensing that kiss on the brow, of imagining the beloved seeing our goodness, it helps to strengthen that pathway. So we'll do our first reflection together, which is the remembrance of who we really are, offering that inner Namaste. So I invite you, if you're not already to be in a position, a posture that allows you to become still, to turn the attention inward. If it helps to close your eyes or lower your gaze, please do. And then take a few full breaths and let the breathing help to gather you. Bring you right here. You might bring to mind a situation where you sense. You get caught in that trance, that small self, not something traumatic, but more where you get reactive or judgmental or anxious and you feel like you're living in a very kind of a small part of yourself. And bring it to mind, let it be close in so you can really get that sense of what it's like when you're identified with a part of your being that doesn't feel so lovable. And if it helps to put your hand on your heart, please do. As a way of staying really closely connected here, just to see the pain of identifying with a small part of yourself, what we sometimes call identifying with the coverings and forgetting the gold. If you can see that, if you can recognize. Oh, okay. Identified with a small place, that's the beginning of being able to inquire and say, well, how am I more? And take a moment to sense the more the larger truth of who you are. You might, as I did, sense this larger field of loving presence, your own sense of what the beloved is, something larger witnessing you, that no matter whatness of God, that unconditional presence and care. And from that vantage, just sense if there's some message, some reminder that will help you to reconnect with the larger truth. And I invite you, if you feel comfortable imagining the beloved, that presence offering a kiss on your brow, some gesture of loving could be sensing. Namaste. That there's a bowing to the light inside you. And notice what happens inside when you feel more of that inhabiting of basic goodness that you are that love and that light. Noticing what you want to remember, taking a few full breaths. If you'd like to open the eyes, if they're closed, please do. Whatever you practice gets stronger. If you practice regularly, regarding yourself with some critique or some sense of cynicism or mistrust, that'll keep getting stronger. If you start practicing intentionally, looking towards the goodness, imagining and sensing a larger field of presence that's honoring the goodness, the kiss on the brow. You have to customize it, make it your own, you will start tapping into a deeper, more true sense of who you are. And it works. Because basic goodness is the truth of who we are. Practice calls it forward. Okay, friends, let's widen this now to how do we begin to Build this beautiful habit of namaste to others, seeing the goodness in others, helping them to remember. And I start with a story on that. As a young man, Buddhist, who describes being mugged at gunpoint. He's in New York, and he had been doing the practice of loving kindness for himself, for others, for a year or so, seeing the goodness, expressing care. So there he is this side street in Soho, and a disheveled man with a scraggly beard and dirty blonde hair costed him, demanded his money. And so this guy gave him over $600 that he carried in his wallet. And the mugger shook his gun and asked for more and stolen for time. The man handed him his credit cards, his whole wallet, and the marker looked dazed and high on some drug. And he said, I'm going to shoot you. And so this young man said, no, no, no, wait, here's my watch. It's an expensive one. Disoriented, the marker took the watch, waved his gun, said again, I'm going to shoot you. And somehow the young man managed to look at him with loving kindness and he said, you don't have to shoot me. He said, you did really good. Look, you got nearly $700, you got credit cards and an expensive watch. You don't have to shoot me. You did good. And the mugger was confused. He lowered his gun slowly and he said, I did good. Half assed it. I did good. He said, yeah, you did really good. Go tell your friends you did good. And dazed, the mugger wandered off, saying softly to himself, I did good. I did good. There's something so poignant about that, that deep down under all the confusion and conditioning, there's this longing to feel our goodness, our innocence, our purity. We know this times when we're down on ourselves and someone helps us remember we're doing our best, that we really care, that. That we have a good heart. James Baldwin has a quote that reflects the idea of mirroring another's goodness. He says this, he says, the longer I live, the more deeply I learn that love, whether we call it friendship or family or romance, is the work of mirroring and magnifying each other's light. Mirroring and magnifying each other's light. The greatest gift of love. So what is it that stops us? It's such a beautiful path. I mean, maybe you can imagine it moving through the world and helping others to remember their light, but something stops us. So it's a little bit of a silly story here, but there's a helicopter that's damaged and 11 people are hanging onto the rope. They're dangling, waiting for rescue. Rescue. Ten men, one woman. They agreed somebody had a drop off, the rope would break and everybody would be killed. So after much back and forth, the woman finally said, okay, I'll be the one to do it. And she went on to say how this is what women do out of the kindness of heart. Sacrifice themselves for the greater good, the well being of others. When she was done, all the men started clapping. So our mistrust of others we call the negativity bias. Our tendency to focus on what's wrong stops us from seeing goodness. And there is a strong reason for the negativity bias. Because when we're stressed, we humans can become manipulative and hurtful. So we need to keep our antennas up, we need to protect. And yet here's the thing. When our habit is to scan for what's wrong with others, when that's our deep habit, we're missing the larger reality of who's there. And often the more righteousness we feel, the more we're missing. Righteousness is a really good flag, the sense that others should be different. Really good flag. I'd like to share a story that I read years ago. It was shared by Terry Dobson. He was an American. He was living in Japan for quite a while, studying aikido, which is the art of reconciliation. And he received these basic teachings that whoever has the mind to fight has broken their connection with the universe. Okay, so Terry was young, he was tough. And while he saw the wisdom of these teachings, part of him wanted to prove himself more physically. So one afternoon he was on a train and a big drunk, dirty guy, laborer's clothing, he boarded, and the drunk guy started yelling and he was violent and he was cursing and he was swinging his fists around, and he knocked a young woman with a baby into the laps of an elderly couple. And so Terry figured this was his chance. You know, he felt tough and holy. You know, he was going to put an end to this guy's violence. So he stood up, clearly going to step in, and the drunk man saw him and now focuses yelling on Terry. He said, you're going to get a lesson. And Terry gave him a look of disgust to kind of egg him on. So the guy was about to rush at him when all of a sudden an old man in a kimono called out, hey. Then he beckoned the drunk man to come over to him. And at first the drunk guy was belligerent. He said, well, why the hell should I talk with you? But the old man just beamed. He didn't have fear or resentment, you know. His eyes were sparkling with interest. And he asked the guy what he was drinking and then just started talking to him, Told him about how every evening sitting in the garden with his wife, drinking sake, looking at their persimmon tree, the drunk was bewildered, and he said, well, I like sake too. The old man said, I'm sure you have a wonderful wife too. No, replied the laborer to this so strangely friendly man in a softer, sullen voice, my wife, she died last year. The suddenly changed drunk man hung his head in heavy sorrow and then gently swaying with the motion of the train, this. This big burly man who was so threatening just a moment ago began to sob. I don't have a wife. I don't have a home anymore. I lost my job. I don't have any money. I have nowhere to go. I'm so ashamed of myself. Big tears rolling down his face, and kind of a spasm of despair rippled through his body. My, my, said the elderly man with heartfelt care. That's a very difficult predicament indeed. Sit down. Sit down here and tell me about it. So Terry turned his head for one last look before leaving this now crowded train, and the laborer was sprawled like a sack on the seat, his head in the old man's lap. The old man was looking down on him with smiling compassion, his hands stroking the filthy, matted head of this confused soul. So Terry describes leaving the train dazed because what he had wanted to do with muscle and meanness have been accomplished with a few kind words. What we practice gets stronger. If it's judgment, resentment, those muscles get strong. If it's interest, expressing care, looking more deeply, seeing the goodness, the innocent soul beyond the mask that becomes who we are. I often talk about having a paw on the trap. You know, when others are behaving hurtfully, they're hurting. And if we want to awaken our heart, we want to serve awakening in our world, we need to see the hurting, like this big guy in the train that was so bereft, and to be able to look, to see the spirit buried in that brokenheartedness. So again, friends, this is a very real capacity we can develop. Takes intentionality. And it's right at the core of many mystical paths to learn to see the light. And we have wiring to increase empathy, compassion, insight. And most, I suspect, have had experiences where the heart feels really open and we sense the shared vulnerability of all us life forms and the intrinsic goodness. So this state can become a trait if this is what we practice, some version of Namaste, of looking to see the light, the love that's there, of honoring it, bowing to it, kissing the brow. We start where it's easier, start where it's easier. And then we build capacity. But there's no way to measure the magnitude of healing when we bring that spirit of Namaste to others. I think of Rachel Naomi Reman, who's a doctor, author, very wise being. She describes a woman who was homeless. I think it's in San Francisco, a patient at a clinic there. She had two carts. All her possessions were in them. And to go to the clinic for her sessions, she would have to climb up the steep hill and lashed the carts to parking meters. But she came up for her monthly session to the Family Medicine clinic. And she was seen by a doctor there. She had troubled, rambling speech. She was eccentric. The doctor who saw her looked past. He was deeply kind, respectful man, and he'd listen with his usual grave courtesy and help where he could. And he and his staff became aware that this woman would come to his office on weeks that he wasn't there, that she simply wanted to go to his consulting room. And she had a ritual. She would stand by the entry and deliberately place her right foot inside the empty room. And then she'd withdraw it. And she'd do that a handful of times. And then after a while, she'd be satisfied and she'd go away again. And Rachel Remond. The places where we are seen and heard are holy places. They remind us of our own value, our basic goodness. So the practice of tending to the goodness heals others, and it frees our own hearts. I mean, imagine, and I mentioned this before, imagine what it would be like to move through the world with the intention of seeing the light of others, seeing it shine through, of magnifying it minimally. It would put us in a good mood. It makes life interesting, having that as the aspiration that we bring to all of our encounters. A friend described his grandmother as the happiest, most radiant person he ever knew. Every day she did prayer for 50 some family and relations, seeing their light, offering blessings. What we practice gets stronger. I mean, the love of life is already in us. We can bring it forward. We can bring it forward in others. So I want to offer you a couple of practical tips on seeing and mirroring goodness that are helpful to me. And the first one is, especially for those who are close people, just to ask yourself, am I looking with fresh eyes? T.S. eliot writes, what we know of Other people is only our memory of the moments during which we knew them and they have changed since then. To pretend that they and we are the same is useful and convenient social convention which must sometimes be broken. We must also remember that at every meeting we are meeting a stranger. Even with those we know well, people become unreal, especially when we're stressed. We don't really tend to the subjectiveness of others, what life is like for them, who's really there. So it helps to imagine, very intentionally, to see them as a child, you know, to see them on their deathbed. If they were gone, what about their basic goodness, their spirit? Will we remember? This is from Anthony DeMello. He says, look for the things in them that you might have missed because of familiarity. For familiarity breeds staleness, blindness and boredom. You cannot love what you cannot see afresh. You cannot love what you are not constantly discovering anew. So that's the first piece in truly seeing the goodness in others, especially those close in, intentionally try to see them fresh. The second reminder is that it takes practice to mirror someone's goodness out loud, active mirroring. And if we're not used to it, we can feel shy or uncomfortable or feel that our comments won't be welcome. So a way to work with that, a good hack, is to practice mirroring actively as part of your meditation. It makes the live mirroring much more natural. And keep in mind that what we imagine in our meditation, it activates many of the same neural networks as direct experience. So what we practice in meditation does lay down the neural pathways for engaging in our life. And I've seen this personally. Some years ago, I was attending a silent retreat. It was a month long retreat. And I was very touched by the gentleness and kindliness of an elderly man that I regularly sat near in the dining hall. And his energy was just very beautiful. And so I began to offer him loving kindness. And I'd imagine, standing in front of him, that we were, you know, looking into each other's eyes. And he'd close his eyes and I'd kiss him lightly on the brow. And as I mentioned earlier, this is a real archetypal gesture that brings tenderness. It dissolves separation. And so it did. The image brought this upwelling of tenderness and a sense of soul connection. And I'm sure if we had met afterwards, it would have been easy to express my appreciation. We didn't meet afterwards, but that has become a regular weave in my loving kindness. Practice that I'll bring somebody to mind and I'll imagine kissing them on the brow offering blessing. And sometimes I'll imagine them kissing me on the back brow. Such a profound, rich, poignant connection that comes from that. And I'll also bring to mind people I don't know or that I've never met. And I'll pause to sense the goodness, the light shining through, and offer some gesture of care, a kiss on the brow or a soft touch on the face or a gentle hug, and often a phrase of well wishing. And it creates a very embodied field of communing. And by practicing this regularly in meditation, it makes me far more inclined to be able to recognize goodness and let others know in engagement. So we're going to practice in a moment, but I just want to step back and say we all realize that our world is troubled. I mean, the statistics are 84% around the globe experience the world as increasingly dangerous. And most people I talk to are feeling the suffering in our wider society and want to help. And we each need to find our way of serving, of actively engaging. And as a foundation, one thing we can all do is, is this training in Namaste, in seeing goodness, in mirroring where we can and bringing it out in others. It directly contributes to evolving consciousness, to awakening hearts in our world. Okay, friends, let's do our final practice together again. I invite you, if you aren't already, to find a position. Or you can come into stillness. Be at ease. Let your attention go inward. Just feel the inflow and the outflow of the breath. And as you come into presence, bring to mind someone who's dear to you, easy to love. There's not too much complexity. Bring them close in so you can remind yourself of what you appreciate and love about them. Perhaps the affectionate look in their eyes when they're feeling their love for you. Or their brightness, their humor, their honesty. You might say their name. You can say it inwardly or whisper it. Say, thank you, Namaste. Let yourself feel the warmth of appreciation in your body. You might imagine kissing them on the brow, or a light touch on the cheek or shoulders and see if that deepens the sense of loving and appreciation. And you might imagine telling them some of the specific ways that you experience their goodness, saying it out loud. How do they receive your mirroring? How do you feel having offered it? How does this sharing affect your feelings of connection? Bringing to mind another person, again, someone you care about. But where there's more difficulty or complexity, you know, not aversion, but just more complex. Bring them close in. Remind yourself of what brings up your caring. If it helps you might imagine them as a child, the innocence, the playfulness. Or you might imagine them on their deathbed or gone, and what the spirit, the light, the intrinsic goodness is that you will remember. Again. You might imagine kissing on the brow, a touch Namaste whatever feels most alive and resonant. You might imagine sharing what you see, sharing what you see of their goodness, sensing the connection that comes from that, Widening the circles. You might bring to mind someone you don't know personally. Where there is some aversion. I wouldn't bring to mind someone. Where there's extreme aversion or trauma, just dislike. Can you imagine the paw in the trap, how this person is hurting in some way, Their insecurity, their fear, their unmet needs, their lack of a sense of belonging. Can you imagine this person as a child, Or perhaps on their deathbed or gone, to sense the buried innocence, light and goodness. And in whatever way feels natural to offer your Namaste that sense of the no matter whatness of the Divine. Now with the mind wide open, let different people come to mind one after the other and sense with each this capacity to offer your Namaste, to see the goodness, to offer your bow or offer a kiss on the brow, some expression of honoring, of reverence. It. Now taking some moments to sense the light in you, the goodness in you that wants to connect, that wants to offer the blessings of Namaste, that goodness which is part of our shared field of light and love. Taking some moments as we end, to renew your intention, to offer the gift of mirroring Namaste in person. Who might you do this with in the near future? Thomas Merton says, life is this simple. We're living in a world that is absolutely transparent and the Divine is shining through it all the time. This is not just a nice story or fable, it is true. Thank you friends. Thank you for being here. Thank you for your attention, for being part of this non boundaried community of beings who care. May we all help bring more love, more light into our world. Blessings and Namaste. Sa.