#4752 If You See Saw, Say Saw

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL #4752 "If You See Saw, Say Saw"

Date: June 18, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

This episode of Too Beautiful To Live (TBTL) finds Luke and Andrew in their usual playful and meandering conversational mode, covering everything from Andrew’s excitement about obtaining a new pole saw, etiquette around borrowing tools, hedges and home privacy, to an unexpectedly wholesome Alice Cooper story. There’s an undercurrent of joy and hopefulness, largely fueled by Luke’s experiences in a post-NBA Finals victory New York City, and a deep dive into urban vibes and summer energy. The episode is an energetic, relatable blend of daily-life minutiae, pop culture detours, and warmth between the hosts.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Andrew’s Pole Saw Saga: Borrowing, Buying, and Hedge Dramas

(03:39 - 19:52)

• Andrew's Excitement Over His First Chainsaw-on-a-Pole:
  Andrew shares that he’s now a member of the Greenworks Power Perks program, having just ordered his first “pole saw” to tackle his overgrown hedges. He reflects on prior bad experiences borrowing a friend’s chainsaw and the anxieties around returning tools in less-than-pristine condition.

  "It's actually not just a chainsaw, Luke. It's better than that. It's a chainsaw on a pole. They call it a pole saw." - Andrew (04:11)

• Tool Borrowing Etiquette & Family Lessons:
  Both hosts discuss the cultural trope (seen in comics and sitcoms) about not returning borrowed tools, with Andrew expressing his ingrained apprehension about it due to his dad’s work ethic.

  "My dad instilled in me this sort of like...take really good care of [borrowed tools]." – Andrew (05:00)

• Buying vs. Borrowing Debate:
  Andrew contrasts his and his partner Genevieve's approaches: he prefers renting or buying tools to avoid relational awkwardness; she’s more inclined to borrow from neighbors.

• Pole Saw Purchase Logistics:
  Andrew searches for a pole saw compatible with his existing Greenworks batteries, ultimately scoring approval from a busy Genevieve to buy a new one online, highlighting the thrill of an “equipment hall pass” in a relationship.

  “This is like a free pass, Luke. This is what they talk about when they talk about a relationship having a hall pass, right?” – Andrew (13:43)

• Anticipation for Using the Saw:
  Andrew details how overgrown his hedges are, noting that after cutting, they’ll temporarily lose privacy, but long-term, it’s for the best.

• Lawn/Yard Care as Therapy:
  The discussion shifts to how the show has become increasingly focused on yard maintenance—partly as an antidote to their sports teams letting them down.

2. Hedges, Privacy, and the "Secret Garden" Home Vibe

(19:52 - 25:26)

• Urban Hedge Drama in Portland:
  Luke recounts a news story about a Portland resident fined for letting his privacy hedges grow into the public right-of-way—despite nearby parked RVs—sparking a conversation about regulatory priorities.

  “...they came out to my neighborhood and my hedge was the thing they decided to crack down on...” – Luke (21:15)

• Hedges as a Source of Home Value and Joy:
  Andrew shares how his own home’s hedges create a “secret garden” feel, providing privacy and a sense of sanctuary.

  “It’s just the very nature of kind of stepping into this little space that we have that sort of closes out the rest of the world. That does feel special.” – Andrew (24:47)

3. Luke’s New York High (“Citycore” Energy & Knicks Parade)

(25:30 - 35:40)

• Knicks Parade and Bathroom Logistics:
  Luke describes the massive New York Knicks victory parade and the city’s total lack of provided bathrooms, to comedic effect.

  “The official advice from the city of New York to people going to this was plan ahead.” – Luke (26:36)

• Post-Parade NYC Vibes:
  Luke waxes poetic about the life and diversity he’s observed in the city, especially after the Knicks' Finals win: fields teeming with people of all backgrounds playing sports on a beautiful June night.

  “Everybody is out...It was just like the dream of how the world should be...This is the way things are in New York, at least on this night...It was really life affirming.” – Luke (28:40, 34:50)

• World Cup Energy Spilling Over
  Andrew notes that Seattle tastes a bit like World Cup fever, recounting grocery aisles cleaned out of pretzel rods for global soccer parties.

4. Top Story: The Alice Cooper Gas Card Incident

(35:49 - 46:42)

• The Viral Video:
  Andrew brings up a TikTok where a guy finds a credit card at a gas pump—belonging to “Alice Cooper.” It turns out Alice Cooper (real name: Vincent Damon Furnier) left his card in Arizona. A fan returned it to him via Cooper’s youth music charity.

• The Band Alice Cooper, Not the Person—Then Both:
  Luke pieces together Alice Cooper’s origin: the name started as a band title, and later Vincent legally became Alice Cooper after the band’s dissolution:

  “The band was called Alice Cooper. That was the name of the band...Eventually, Vincent changes his name to Alice Cooper. That’s how he became Alice Cooper legally.” – Luke (41:39)

• Musical and Personality Appreciation:
  The hosts discuss how Alice Cooper’s image, once intimidating to Luke as a kid, doesn’t match the personality or the band’s experimental music roots.

• Presumptuous Gifts:
  The show closes the story observing the slightly odd tradition of celebrities gifting personal merchandise in thanks for favors—does the finder actually want a signed Alice Cooper LP?

  “There’s something extremely presumptuous about rewarding someone who brought you your bank card with your album.” – Luke (47:08)

5. Blursday Messages and Goldfish Crackers Deep Dive

(50:33 - 56:41)

• Blursday Shoutouts:
  As per weekly tradition, the hosts read celebratory birthday/Blursday notes from listeners, sprinkled with inside jokes and warm humor.

• Goldfish Crackers—Controversy!
  A detour reveals Andrew’s penchant for original flavor (not cheddar) Goldfish, which baffles Luke. An extended, silly back-and-forth about Goldfish varieties ensues.

• Notable Blursday Quotes:

  “I love being 65. My insurance premiums are low and I get free gym memberships and senior discounts. Bounce to boot.” – Listener Robin (51:12)

  “Am I the only person in the world who eats the plain flavored goldfish?” – Andrew (53:23)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments with Timestamps

• On Relationships and Tool Buying:
  “This is like a free pass, Luke. This is what they talk about when they talk about a relationship having a hall pass, right?”
  – Andrew (13:43)

• On Borrowing Tools:
  “My dad instilled in me this sort of like...take really good care of [borrowed tools].”
  – Andrew (05:00)

• On NYC’s Post-Knicks Win Vibe:
  “…the dream of how the world should be with just People of every race and age, and they were just out, like, playing soccer and basketball and like loving life on a beautiful June evening in New York City and just felt like, this is how the world can be.”
  – Luke (28:40)

• On Losing Alice Cooper’s Credit Card:
  “Alice Cooper, like me, really wants to give it as much time as possible before he cancels the credit card or the bank card. Because it’s such a hassle.”
  – Luke (46:10)

• On Receiving Signed Albums as a Reward:
  “There’s something extremely presumptuous about rewarding someone who brought you your bank card with your album.”
  – Luke (47:08)

• On the “Original” Goldfish Controversy:
  “Am I the only person in the world who eats the plain flavored goldfish?”
  – Andrew (53:23)

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Important Timestamps

• Pole Saw and Tool Talk: 03:39 – 19:52
• Hedge Privacy, Home Value: 19:52 – 25:26
• NYC Post-Knicks Parade & Urban Energy: 25:30 – 35:40
• Alice Cooper Gas Card Story: 35:49 – 46:42
• Blursdays & Goldfish Crackers: 50:33 – 56:41

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Tone and Style

The episode maintains TBTL’s signature banter: self-deprecating, meandering, nostalgic, and apologetically dorky. The hosts alternate between earnest life reflections and quick-witted goofs, often derailing themselves joyfully. The episode is particularly buoyed by summer city energy, pride in domestic maintenance, and a sense of community—both between the hosts and their loyal “tens of listeners.”

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Summary Takeaway

Episode #4752 is quintessential TBTL: everyday obsessions (tools, snacks, sports), oddball celebrity encounters, and visceral joy in the rhythms of summer city life. Both for steadfast fans and the casually curious, it’s a warm, funny, and sneakily hopeful tour through friendship, neighborhood drama, and the little things that matter—like a pole saw that fits your lawnmower battery, Alice Cooper’s signature, and the great Goldfish Cracker divide.

Transcript

[A]

Hey, dummies, it's your boy, Chris. I was catching up with the show, and I have to say I totally agree with Luke on the bingo card thing. I don't know why, but it just nails on a chalkboard to me. Although that discussion did prompt me to come up with this joke. I was walking around New York City the other day. This guy comes tearing up to me, gets right in my face and just screams, G12. I tell you what, I didn't have that on my bingo card. Thank you. Power up. Tbtl. This is a show for dogs, about dogs, starring one dog and one dirty dog.

[B]

I am mesmerized by the divergent culinary concepts at play here. Cheesy gordita crunch. Fiery Doritos Locos Tacos supreme. I mean, it's like Mexican jazz music.

[A]

Yama que pie bo Sere for cable window.

[B]

Can you take some constructive criticism?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

People find you unpleasant.

[A]

Thank you. I'm sorry, but when I hear an undeserved compliment, it makes my ears want to throw up.

[B]

Oh, your ears are always throwing up about something. Between your no nonsense approach and my. The regular amount of nonsense approach, we

[A]

make a pretty good team.

[B]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[A]

Is this real life?

[B]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[A]

Welcome to my show. Oh, I'm thrilled to be here.

[B]

Coming to you once again from New York City, where the New York Knicks celebration parade possibly, some are saying, and very strongly, maybe the biggest parade to ever hit New York City is happening as we record the show today.

[A]

Oh, la la.

[B]

Very exciting times. I will say the city of New York may have forgotten one detail for rolling out the red carpet and the ticker tape and this whole thing, which we will talk about coming up here on episode 4752 in a collector's series,

[A]

Let the fun begin.

[B]

Once again, coming to you from the Knickerbocker Hotel, my interior room, looking over at a suite of offices where, I'm going to be honest with you, after yesterday's program, me sitting in here with the laptop on the bed. I'm not in bed. I'm on a chair. But with the laptop propped up on one of the two queen beds and me talking into this microphone, I figured it would have made some waves over there. I figured maybe there would have been a little peanut gallery people would have been collecting at the window, maybe throwing their own ticker tape parade for me. But no, they continue to be focused on their spreadshees and things like that. That's okay, though. I don't need their attention. I have your attention. The tens of listeners yesterday, I tried to get to the story, I did not do so successfully about what happened when Alice Cooper. Yes, the rock and roll singer trying to figure out what his genre is, left his bank card in a gas pump in Arizona. Your story is a beautiful story from my point of view. It's a beautiful story. I love your story. It's actually kind of a sweet story which we will tell you today on this Thursday, AKA blursday. So we'll also do the blurs day messages and we will say hello to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ship.

[A]

Sasquatches are real. They're very freaky.

[B]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[A]

Good morning, Luke. I think a congratulations is in order. Not for you and not for the Knickerbockers of New York, but for me. Andrew Walsh, who is now a member of the Greenworks power perks program because who's got two thumbs currently and just ordered his first chainsaw. This guy who has two thumbs and is eventually going to have one as

[B]

of press time and then maybe has two thumbs.

[A]

Exactly. It's actually not just a chainsaw, Luke. It's better than. Better than that. It's a chainsaw on a pole. They call it a pole saw. And I am excited for it to get you here.

[B]

So you had one that I think was maybe like a hand me down or something?

[A]

No, I never. I borrowed one friend who listens to the show. So I won't go into. I won't go into detail, but I had never really used it much. But it was a piece before. No, it was great. But apparently when I returned it, I didn't return it in the condition that he expected, although I knew no better. Nobody told me about cleaning chains or oiling or anything like that. And then I found out a year later that he had been holding a grudge against me for the. Which is why I never borrow anything. I remember like I wanted to buy a pull saw. And how did that to you?

[B]

Not.

[A]

Not Howser, but. No, a good friend who is. Who is doing me a solid. But that is exactly why I do not borrow things from people. Because, I don't know, my dad instilled in me this sort of like when you're borrowing somebody else's tools. Like you take really good Care of them. And you always return them. I mean, I had the fear of God in me if I was at my dad's workplace of, like, if I, you know, grabbed a wrench out of some guy's workstation, you better believe that thing was returned because, you know, guys are on the job, they go to grab their wrench, and it's not there. There's hell to pay. Right. You don't want to find out that the boss's son has been playing around with your wrenches or what have you.

[B]

Feel like it was a trope when we were kids. Sorry. I'm going to plug something in. Andrew, this might make a little bit of feedback. I apologize. I had a. Well, thank you for covering that.

[A]

Sure. Yeah.

[B]

Real. Here.

[A]

No, I'll fix it.

[B]

Are you the guy from police Academy? That was.

[A]

I am Winslow.

[B]

That Michael Winslow.

[A]

Michael Winslow. Too many Urkels on your team.

[B]

That's right. That's why you're Winsorlow. I believe that's a family matters joke, but okay, we'll go with it.

[A]

I know, I know, but that was. But.

[B]

But I like. But that was good. That was. That was. That was nice, relevant content.

[A]

Too many Urkels on your team. That's why you're Winslow.

[B]

I feel like when I was a kid, again, maybe this was in the bombeck sphere that I was reading, but it was always. There was a lot of jokes that were made about guys and neighbors not returning stuff to them.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And then, like, it was always kind of a running joke.

[A]

I feel like it was definitely a running joke on the Simpsons, but I feel like the Simpsons were just, like, carrying on a tradition that was always like, ah. Or the comics pages. Right. Couldn't you just see, like, I don't know.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Somebody like, who to be Crankshaft did. Crankshaft.

[B]

Crankshaft would not happy about it. Who else? Mr. Will Hagar the horrible.

[A]

Someone borrowed his.

[B]

Someone borrowed his Viking ship.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But we are bearing the lead here. So I did. I borrowed a chainsaw. And then. And I kind of didn't want to, but. And then I returned it. And then again, it wasn't even like, oh, hey, let me show you how to clean this. It was like a year later. I was like, can I borrow that again? He was like, no, you gave me back my chainsaw. Terrible condition.

[B]

I'm guessing that that conversation happened at the Eagles after one to four twisted tease.

[A]

That happen that the Eagles, I believe, before the tees were twisted. I believe. But all of that is to say I was like, okay, I'm not borrowing anybody's tools at all anymore. That is what my gut always says. Genevieve is a tool borrower. She loves borrowing things. We have a Handy Andy right near our house. Yes. It's more than just a company that sponsored your little league team. Well, that's how I primarily think of them. That's how everybody thinks of them. But it's literally in walking distance. So we can go there to rent a truck if we just need to move something or haul some garbage, but Genevieve would rather, like, use neighbors trucks and stuff like that. I'm like, it's $25, and we don't have to engage in any kind of relationship maintenance at all. You know what I mean? It's just like, just take my money, let me borrow your truck, and then return it. And it can be a business transaction at Handy Andy, or let me spend 150 bucks on a pole saw that can be mine. And by. By the way, the irony of this whole thing is it was a lesson for me because, again, I didn't really think about. I didn't really think about the condition of a chainsaw after cutting a whole bunch of shrubbery, which is what I'm going to be doing with this, I need to really cut back our back hedges again, like, in a. In a major way. But I guess, you know, it creates SAP and stuff on the chain. And that's probably what I returned to my friend. He probably didn't even inspect it right away. And then probably months later, like, took off some gooey protector screen from the chainsaw and was like, what the hell is Walsh done to this damn thing? But now, because I know that's a thing, because I learned my lesson on my friend's pole saw, I am so ready to take good care of mine. I've been researching, like, well, how. What was I supposed to do there? And now I'm, like, learning.

[B]

Have you considered not even using it? That would keep it the most pristine. Just putting it up on a shelf and admiring it?

[A]

Well, I would. No. I am so excited for this tool. In fact, I almost started the show today by saying, luke, Genevieve and I are finally going to become a complete family. But it occurred to me that might make it sound like I'm making a baby announcement instead of a pole saw announcement. But, my God, I don't know if I. I've been this excited for something to be delivered to my home in so long. The bushes out back, Luke, are. And I say bushes. The hedges. I mean, they are. They are a beast. Back there. Like, I don't even. I couldn't do this job without a chainsaw this year. I think they've just grown too far out of hand, and I am looking forward to going to absolute town on them, whipping them into shape. And it's going to be a little bit rough at first. I got to cut them back so much that we're actually going to lose a lot of the foliage. And, like, it's going to. You know what I mean? We're going to lose some of our privacy in the back there, but it'll be good in the long run. These things grow quickly. Once I cut it back, it's going to be the rest of the summer. It might be a little bit like, wow, you really, really cut those things back. They're not going to look super great, but by next spring, they're going to be my beautiful green little babies.

[B]

Did you consider and was there. I don't want to get too into your, you know, your personal life with your partner, but was there any pressure on you to try to find a pole saw on, let's say, Facebook marketplace versus buying it new as you have appeared to do?

[A]

Luke Burbank. I don't know what's going on in my life right now. I think that maybe Genevieve just has too many things going on and she's too stressed.

[B]

But this was, like, benign neglect is

[A]

what we call it. I am so glad you brought this up because it's been a little bit in the back of my mind, because any kind of purchase like this, I tell Genevieve, I'm gonna buy one.

[B]

How many fubos is it?

[A]

And she's kinda like, well, hold on. I can find a deal. Let me use my rakuten combined with a super deal ve that I can get online if I make some promises that you don't.

[B]

I have a Groupon for a poll saw. But you also have to skydive.

[A]

Exactly. We first we have to get it off of offerup, then we trade it back via Craigslist, then we rebuy it via Facebook marketplace, and then it's yours. And I've. And we have also received a $50 voucher to Chili's. Somehow. I.

[B]

That sounds good.

[A]

I sent a riblets. I sent Genevieve a note in the middle of the day because I had warmed her up to this. I'm like, I need to get a pole saw. I'm going to town. I've been also preparing her for how kind of atrocious these things are going to look after the first cut. I was like, get ready for that. But because of other construction going on in her house, I'm guessing there might not be a big Genevieve summer party this year. And it's sort of on the fence about that. So I'm like, well, this would be a great year, then to have those hedges in the back look maybe a little bit overcut if we're not kind of entertaining back there. And so I've been sort of preparing her for that aspect of it. And then. And then I started to do a little bit of research, and I'm like, I want to see if I buy a pole saw from this brand, Greenworks, which is also my lawnmower. I'm wondering.

[B]

I'm going to be electric. This is me battery.

[A]

Yeah. And that's. That was the thing. I was like, is there any chance I can buy a pole saw that uses one of the batteries I already have? Because I have a Greenworks lawnmower that takes one kind of battery and a Greenworks hedge trimmer that takes a different kind of battery. Well, I found one on Greenworks that uses the same kind of battery as my lawnmower. So now I'm going to have two batteries that I can rotate in and out. It says it takes about 40 minutes for a charge, so there will always be one charging and one in one of the machines. It's going to be absolutely fantastic. I'm so excited about this saw. But I text her in the middle of the day because I'm kind of like, I have this little nagging thing, right? She's got me kind of trained, and I'm like, I know what I want to do. If I lived alone, I wouldn't even think twice about it. I'd go to Lowe's and I'd buy this thing, or I'd be ordered on it.

[B]

You'd be surrounded with pole saws.

[A]

Like, you and your cloth.

[B]

Be actually kind of sad. Some would be wearing wigs.

[A]

Oh, my God. A little tea party.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I'd have my little hedge trimmer there. My lawn mower, my pole saw, my little weed eater. One of them would have pigtails.

[B]

A game of Monopoly. I'm sorry. A game of Risk.

[A]

I'd be passive aggressively passing the sugar cubes to my. To my weed eater. Anyway, I, I. When I text her in the middle of the day, I'm like, hey, I am going to buy this pole saw. It looks like it takes the same kind of battery as the lawnmower, but could you just put a second set of eyes on this to make sure. That I'm looking at these specs. Right. And what I expected was, oh, okay. Yeah, this looks good to me. Let me see if I can find a deal. But I think Genevieve is so busy right now with all kinds of projects both here at home and at work, that she just wrote back, Yep, looks the same to me. Just double check on their website. Oh, my God. This is like a. This is like a free pass, Luke. This is what they talk about when they talk about a relationship having a hall pass, right?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's like, I'm just going to buy this. And I was a little bit bummed. I went to Lowe's, which sells Greenworks brand products, and they don't sell polls saws there. The person who helped me said, yeah, I just don't have the floor space for pole saws. Which I was like, yeah. So they were like, you just have to order it online.

[B]

They're like, we need more room for the 90 foot tall skeletons, which we're already putting out.

[A]

I knew if you weren't going to say the huge skeletons, I was going to say it because you're right. The. The. The clock is ticking. Right? It's probably by the end of June, those things will be.

[B]

By the end of this sentence, the skeletons are going to be.

[A]

Can I, Can I attach. I asked them, can I attach a chainsaw to the end of one of these skeleton bones? Can I have one of these femurs, please? So anyway, I did go there. They're like, no, we can't keep it. You can order them online. So I just ordered them online directly from the manufacturer. And I finally pulled the trigger on that yesterday. And so I think it should be here, not by this weekend, which is probably fine because I can't do it this weekend anyway. But by midweek, I might have to skip a couple of episodes of TBTL next week, actually, because I got in the handroom.

[B]

If it's lawn related. Yeah, you know, I got your back.

[A]

I'm so excited.

[B]

The poor listeners. Just as I've finally moved off the topic, you're moving very much onto the topic.

[A]

Oh, of lawn.

[B]

Just lawn care and yard maintenance. This has really become. If the Mariners continue to stink, the join up. This will just continue to be mostly a lawn maintenance and lawn care related podcast for the foreseeable future.

[A]

I don't know how much you were following the text chain yesterday. I'm a little bit embarrassed about some of the things I wrote on the text chain last night. I don't think they made a lot of sense. I was. That. That loss yesterday kind of punched me in the gut. I kind of, for some reason believed they were going to turn things around late in the game, which they did not. I will also admit to you that I'd had a couple of those hams. Tall boys, not tall hams. Although I would also dig into a tall ham if you had one of those. But. And by. And then. So I wrote a couple of things on the text chain that I don't think make any sense, honestly. So I'm going to be honest with

[B]

you, my friend, because of the time difference, I was asleep. No, I was. I don't think I was. I didn't follow the game at all until this morning when I got up and looked at, like, pictures of Connor. Joe being thrown out at third base.

[A]

Oh, my God. What was he doing? He had an easy double and he tried to stretch it and we got Jode. Is that what they say online? Easy call, Joe.

[B]

That's pretty good. A cult of personality.

[A]

Oh, that's pretty good.

[B]

One of my greatest jokes. Well, they say in baseball you always want to make the first and third out at third base. That's a baseball truism.

[A]

Sure. Yeah.

[B]

He was able to accomplish that.

[A]

Anyway.

[B]

Well, you're psyched about this lawn. You know, this lawn tool, if you will, this hedge tool. Really? Now, here's my question to you, because you already went. You already went. Hams. The beer refreshing on part of this hedge. This season you had a big. A big Saturday where you went to town. What were you using if not this pole saw?

[A]

So here's the deal. We have these giant hedges all the way around our house. The ones that take up the most. What I can say. The ones that are the longest. The ones that take up the most area. The longest side of our yard and sides of our yard are. That's a hard job because there's so much of it. But they have been maintained in a way that they aren't extraordinarily wide. I mean, they're wide. They're probably like 13ft wide or something. And I have a hedge trimmer that would be called a pole trimmer. And so I can use that. But that's like. That's just good for maintenance. I can kind of like, cut all of the new growth that has grown since last year when I've done this. And basically the growing season is sort of.

[B]

Is it a chainsaw, though? Is it?

[A]

No, it's a hedge trimmer. It's a hedge trimmer. Picture a hedge trimmer like, with, like, the teeth? Yeah, it's like, got the teeth that slide back and forth, sliding back and forth. In fact, to practice for my pole saw last weekend, I was like, wait a second. I haven't been maintaining my hedge trimmer either. And again, there are a lot, lot, lot of these hedges. So, you know, this pole trimmer I have is like 3 years old. And this weekend I read about how I should be cleaning and lubricating that. So I spent some time on Saturday after finishing another part of the hedges. There's like three parts of the hedges, and I did really long one a couple of weeks ago. I did this short little area this last Saturday. Then I cleaned up my hedge trimmers, talked to it a little bit, said, sweetie, you're going to be so great now. And now there is the backyard. And the backyard has these hedges that are just monsters, Luke. Just absolute monsters, and they're out of control. And the trimmer can only cut so far back before it becomes way too woody and thick and it becomes like a tree inside there. And that's why I need the saw. And when I borrowed my buddy's saw a couple of years ago, I did sort of the outside of those hedges and cut them back quite a bit. There's also a metal fence that you can't see that runs through the middle of it. And so I cut those almost as far back to the fence. But you would notice that if you were walking in the kind of crappy alley behind our house. The side on the inside of the yard was still very green and growing way, way, way too wide. So I could just try trimming back the new growth. But. But they're out of control. And also the fact that they're so wide makes trimming the top of them really difficult. It's just like I have this pole trimmer, and I'm on top of a ladder, swinging this thing as far as my arm will take it. Then I'm taking the ladder to the other side and trying to swing it across and hoping I can reach everything in the middle. But they're just. I gotta take a photo of me standing on the outside of these things so you can see how wide they are. So the plan with the saw is I am going to really saw back the inside of these hedges to a degree that the trimmer couldn't do it. And then in the future, the trimmer should be able to handle it just for the yearly maintenance. Does that make sense?

[B]

You got to have this under control. Yes, it does. I can picture it, you know, there was a crazy story in Portland about a guy with hedges not unlike yours. And the issue, though, for him was there were a lot of people that were. Had parked, you know, sort of, of what, RVs and other kind of vehicles they were living in, some of them running, some of them not running kind of along his street. And he had this big, massive hedge, which he was enjoying the privacy that. That created for him and the city of Portland. I'm not trying to go Dori Monson on this, but the city of Portland came out and said, your hedge is illegal because it was some city violation. And they started fining him. I forget what it was per day, but he's like a single dad, and he was like. Like, I don't have the money for this. So he put up a website and got all of the neighborhood and his friends to come out and help him just absolutely demolish this hedge. It took like 20 people, like a week. This thing was ferocious. And he got it down and they stopped finding him. But now all the mini Winnies that are broken down are just like, right. Like, very visible in his yard now. And he was like, his, his. And he didn't seem like a, you know, one of these, you know, unfriendly people in the neighborhood towards folks who maybe are unhoused or kind of minimally housed. But he was like, it's pretty crazy to me that they came out to my neighborhood and my hedge was the thing they decided to crack down on, you know.

[A]

Yeah. Because. And this is the deal. I don't. I don't complain about this. I, you know, people need to live places and poor people need to live places. And if they're living in an RV and it's parked on the street for days on end or weeks or months on end, as we have some in our neighborhood, like, that is technically against the rules as well. You can't just keep a vehicle parked on the street. Now, some people get upset by that and they call them in. It doesn't bother me as long as they're good neighbors. And some of them are, and some of them aren't, you know, but, like, basically there are two. You know, if you want to be specific about it, there are two rules being broken here, apparently, the hedges and these vehicles. And so you sort of think, well, yeah, we're not going to move the people who are living there, but at least let the guy keep his hedges so they can have some privacy.

[B]

This guy is named Chris Bolton. This is in the Oregonian. Bolton was utterly Baffled when an employee with the Portland Bureau of Transportation showed up in early December with no intention to remove the RVs. Instead, the worker warned Bolton that his hedge had inched too far into the public right of way, which had no sidewalk or buffer and would impede a planned stop sign at the intersection. Soon after the nuisance notices, the city code enforcement officers began to arrive. When I read this article, I thought of you guys, actually, because I think of your hedges as one of the great features of your home. I remember when Veeves, when you hadn't even. When you hadn't even bought the place, in fact, it was just still a dream. And Veeves sent a link to the house. And I immediately zeroed in on these awesome hedges that create a lot of privacy for you and just are cool looking and I think had been maybe not super well maintained before you got there, but that's such a feature of your home. And when I was reading about this other dude in Portland, I was like, like, nobody better mess with Andrew other than Andrew.

[A]

I would handcuff myself to them. Like, Genevieve and I were just having that conversation this, this weekend because we've been doing a lot of grilling. And I actually had another weekend of a lot of Saturday. I just did a lot of various yard work, finished a big chunk of these hedges that I was telling you about and had just weeded this huge area where we have sort of this little, I don't know, stone walkway through a garden or whatever. And I got to say, at the end of the day, I was feeling I got a lot more done than thought. It was one of those days where I was like, well, I'll just start a little corner of this project. But ended up like, kind of finishing a lot more than I thought and actually got it done. And by like 7 o' clock or whatever, I'm like, exhausted and feeling good. And somebody who I had not met before had to drop something off at our house. And a giant bag of bananas, truthfully speaking, I'll give you the details on that. It was a giant bag of bananas. Probably 10 pounds of bananas were dropped off at my house.

[B]

Yes, we have some bananas.

[A]

Yes, we have some bananas. And the woman who was dropping it off, like, she dropped it off, I said, oh, nice to meet you. Thanks for these things. And then she was leaving. She sat over her shoulder, she kind of looked around. I love your little secret garden in here, or whatever. And it does feel that way. And later on, Genevieve and I were grilling and she's like, you take this house and you drop it anywhere else, it loses a lot of its value. It's because we're on this corner lot with these huge hedges. I mean, the hedges make the experience. Not that there aren't other things about the house that we like and the neighborhood and what have you, but the hedges give us this privacy that makes it feel like when you walk in our little gate. And it's not all super well kept. You know, we keep everything tidy. But I'm sure that people would have much nicer gardens than us and everything. But it's just the very nature of kind of stepping into this little space that we have that sort of closes out the rest of the world. That does feel special.

[B]

Absolutely. I think it's one of the coolest things you ever have. So you've obviously done some Internet sleuthing so that you know how much of them to cut so that you can control them later, but so that you wouldn't actually. You can't harm them, can you?

[A]

I haven't done any Internet sleuthing. I. I just know how fast they grow. Don't get. Okay. Don't let little facts and information get in the way of my plans here. Luke. I'm gonna be rooming with.

[B]

I'm just saying, dude, if you saw. If you hurt my beautiful hedges, sir,

[A]

I told you, I'm gonna handcuff myself to it. The question is, will that hand still be attached to me?

[B]

Yes. That's the other thing.

[A]

After I do that, you be careful up there. I will.

[B]

It's a very exciting day to be in New York City because the Knicks are having their celebration parade. Now. It's in a different part of Manhattan than I am in. I'm in Midtown or kind of Times Square area. And they're down along what's called the. I believe, a corridor of champions. They're calling. It's Broadway, but it's kind of down in the southern part of Manhattan going towards City Hall. I think they're as. As we speak. Mamdani might be, you know, I don't know, crowning them champions or whatever was going on. The thing I thought was kind of funny was, well, one thing they said this might be. Mamdani, I think, was saying that it's possible this could be the biggest parade in New York City history. It's unclear if it's hit that mark yet or not. But the other thing is the city of New York did not provide any porta potties or dedicated bathrooms. I mean, I don't know how they would. Exactly. The Porta Potties, I guess they could bring out. The official advice from the city of New York to people going to this was plan ahead. Now, the thing started at I think 10:30 in the morning and people were apparently like lining up to get along the barriers at like 7am So I don't know how people were supposed to not pee for, you know, 11 hours or whatever it's been. And also, you know, some beer may be consumed.

[A]

So is it just rivers of urine?

[B]

I believe southern Manhattan is. It's under 3ft of urine currently. Thank God I'm well north of there. But it seems like. Yeah, it seems like it was quite the party down there and everybody was having a good time. This feels. I saw somebody on TikTok the other day saying that they feel like there were somebody who had been in New York a while ago and then had been back to New York recently. And they said New York feels different now. It's hard to untangle that from the Knicks winning because that is, people are buzzing in this town still from the Knicks winning the NBA Finals. But I think this person's point was just generally speaking, and I'm sure there are plenty of things that Mayor Mamdani could do better or different or policies that, you know, may work or may not work, but there is just a vibe in this town. And I actually totally agree. Again, I can't separate it out from the Knicks thing because I've only been here post Knicks winning the Finals. But. But the city feels alive. I was going up the west side highway yesterday and I looked over Andrew and I was sort of. Where was I? Maybe, I don't know, in the like 70s or 80s in terms of like, north, south. So I'm kind of. I'm sort of near Central park, but I'm not at Central Park. I'm out over on the, like, west side with like the Hudson river and like New Jersey. But I'm looking at Manhattan to my right as I'm speeding up the west side, in the words of Cameron. And I look over and there's just soccer field after soccer field after soccer field after basketball court after tennis court. And it's just. Everybody is out. It's just a beautiful June evening and everyone is out and everyone is playing soccer and playing basketball and everyone looks so different in the best way. It was just like, like, I don't know why this is making me cry

[A]

today, but I got a lot more hedge talk, if. If that helps.

[B]

It was just like the dream of how the world should be with just People of every race and age, and they were just out, like, playing soccer and basketball and like loving life on a beautiful June evening in New York City and just felt like, this is how the world can be.

[A]

I love.

[B]

So anyway, go, mom. Donnie.

[A]

He did that.

[B]

He made all those people join those soccer leagues and learn how to play pickup basketball. It's working.

[A]

You know me, I love cities and I feel so. I know I don't live in New York City, and there's some differences between Seattle and NYC from what I hear. But in fact, I believe that Seattle sleeps, I think, is one of the big differences maybe between the city.

[B]

Yes, it's the city that always sleeps,

[A]

that often sleeps in at least north Seattle, where I live. My very specific bed is where people sleep in as late as they possibly can. But I. This isn't exactly what you're talking about, but I've been feeling the world cuppiness a little bit seep into everyday life here. I went to the grocery store and I went specifically to sars, in this case, very near my home. But sars, in addition to being sort of known as a discount grocery store, is also a grocery store that just appeals to all different kinds of palates and tastes. There's a huge Asian section and there's a huge Latin section and also tons of halal meats. And I've told you, you can literally whole goats in the back. I'm trying to think there's two animals back there that are like, hanging. It's just like. It's a huge store that attracts all kinds of people with all kinds of different backgrounds. And I've noticed it just feels like. I can't tell you. I was actually imagining trying to explain this to somebody and hoping I'd come up with a way to explain it. I can't tell you exactly how I can tell that a lot of the folks who are visiting are probably here for the World Cup. I mean, they're the obvious things.

[B]

Well, they're probably wearing jerseys because.

[A]

Well, the jerseys are a big part of it.

[B]

Everyone here in New York, everyone in Manhattan is wearing some sort of soccer jersey.

[A]

Yes, there a lot of. Lot of jerseys. Of course, people who live here can also have jerseys. But there's just something about it that I can just sort of. No, they can't. I can just tell that it's just like it's bringing a lot of people out. And also, by the way, how does this affect you, Andrew? Is what you wanted to know?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

One thing that I've learned is because I feel very validated in my taste in pretzels because I've been to two grocery stores and the snack sections have been kind of picked over because everybody's having these World cup parties and everything, right? You can find all different shapes and sizes of pretzels. You know, what is sold out in two of the grocery stores. I go to pretzel rods. The world knows. The international community knows that if you're going to get yourself a bag of pretzels, you should get. Get pretzel rods, which is leaving me a little bit pretzel less in Seattle, as the famous movie goes. But back to your point, though, I was sort of vibing off of a kind of energy around the grocery store and around the city, even though so far I haven't been anywhere near the actual World cup activities until tomorrow. By the way, I'm heading over to the Mariners game tomorrow night, and there's a big World cup game that will be ending right around the time the Mariners game is beginning. There might be a couple of hours in between, but I have a feeling.

[B]

Any of those soccer guys know how to play baseball?

[A]

I. We're going to be needing. Dan Wilson is going to become another player coach pretty soon because I think we're running out of. We're running out of guys. But, yeah, I'm going to be going right into the heart of that tomorrow, and I'm really excited about it.

[B]

I don't even know if they're actually playing in New York yet. I know that it ends at MetLife Stadium. You know, these. Everything happening in these other cities are sort of regional, and then it all kind of ends up at. Here in New Jersey or in this area. I don't know if they're currently playing here, but you would think that they were playing in midtown Manhattan in Times Square, because the. And also my hotel has. Everyone is just like in soccer jerseys or also wearing lanyards that say FIFA. When I was in Houston last week, because Houston is one of the cities that's having. Or two weeks ago, when I was in Houston, it's also one of the city that's having regional. My entire hotel was like FIFA people. It was. It's like, how many people can work for FIFA and related industries? But it's. Yeah, it's a very exciting time to be here. I think now that I've composed myself, I think the thing that was just so. That just so touched me, for one, it was the perspective. I'm sitting in the back of a lift and I'm just Kind I'm listening to the Lost in Translation soundtrack because I don't do anything. I don't go in for half measures. If I'm going to. To do some good car crying, I need the Lawson translation soundtrack going on. But I'm just kind of sitting there. And again, there was amazingly like no traffic because we were heading north. And I'm just kind of like looking over and it's just this like, crop. Like the snapshot of. Of. Of just so many people just who have no idea. I'm observing them. They're just out on a warm June night. They're just, again, they're playing, they're playing soccer, they're shooting hoops. They're all just like having this moment that's just kind of like, again, it. And it also looks really different than a lot of other cities that I've been in, particularly Seattle. You know, it's like I forget how white Portland is until I come to New York City, you know, until I look into these spaces. And again, I wasn't in a neighborhood that would be defined as, you know, that's a quote unquote, black neighborhood. It's just a neighborhood where everybody out doing a thing. They're just from all over and they're. And nobody. I'm probably the only person that was even noticing. You know what I mean? People were just like, this is what we're doing. We're playing soccer together, we're just hanging out, we're lounging, we've spread out picnic blankets. It was just like. It just felt to me like this is the way things are in New York, at least on this night. And not that New York is perfect and the way that things can be. And I feel like it just, you know, there's so much kind of bad news out there and bad energy and, and people, you know, doing MMA on the fricking White House lawn. It's like this was the most opposite expression.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Of whatever the energy was of the White House lawn. This is the opposite. If you put the White House lawn, MMA event, UFC event next to this thing, both would disappear because they represent two sound waves, this opposite wave of each other. This. Everything good that could be happening in the world was on display last night in New York City in this one little moment as I was cruising by it, you know, it's just like it was. It was really life affirming. I'm having a really nice time here, by the way, just because, again, you know, again, the energy is. Is really good because of the Knicks, but It's just. This is also the perfect time to be in New York. June is. If you ever want to visit this town. I would highly recommend June. It's not overly hot yet, but it's. It's nice, you know, it's just the right temperature. Everything is, everything is coming up Mill house for me here. Should we, should we do a Top story real quick?

[A]

Sure. Thing. Thing. Hello and welcome to Top Story. All right.

[B]

You sent me this story the other day, Andrew, and it had the promising line. I didn't know what I was watching at first.

[A]

Well, can I clarify? Because you're going to have way more information on this story than I do, even though I sent it to you. Because what I just saw was a tiki talky video and I think it just popped into my feed or something. And it was just a guy with no explanation kind of talking about finding a credit card. And I didn't know who he was talking about or why he was talking about it. And then suddenly in the video there's a big reveal because he's standing next to who, Alice Cooper. And Alice Cooper's like, yeah, I just left it in the pump or something like that. And I was like, if I had paused the video and you'd given me a thousand guesses as to whose credit card it was, that was not what I was expecting. And I just found that so joyful, that little experience. So then I was like, what the hell is the story? So I found a link to the full story and sent it to you. But I'll be honest with you, you. I didn't really pore over it. So I don't know the background of what happened here.

[B]

Well, the, the actual story is not, you know, super duper involved. Basically, this guy in Arizona went to the, the gas pump to put his gas in. His name is Jeff Guy, and he tried to put his, you know, bank card into the gas pump and he couldn't. By the way, I don't go in for. I try not to be, you know, too much of a nervous Nelly, but they've got me almost scared about using the gas pump, you know, card reader thing. There are a lot of scams with that. Have you seen any of this stuff?

[A]

I mean, I've been hearing about it for years, but I haven't seen like a resurgence. Is it like kind of a story again?

[B]

I've been seeing some stuff again. You know, I don't know how much of it is just fear mongering and how much of it is real, but I tried to use my CBS card for some gas the other day, and it was declined. And I was like, they finally caught up with me. I've finally been fired. Then I had to call the bank. And they were like, oh, yeah, you're not allowed to use that at the pump per CBS rule.

[A]

Per Paramount rules. Yep, yep.

[B]

But anyway, this guy named Jeff guy was trying to put gas in, and he tried to slide his card into the. The gas pump, and it wouldn't fit because there was already a card in there. And he pulled the card out, and it was the card of Alice Cooper, who was in Arizona to play some golf, which is apparently the. The thing that Alice Cooper likes more than playing heavy metal music or whatever is playing golf. He is. He loves golf. I think he might even have a whole golf show on. Serious. And so this guy Jeff guy, he reached out to. I think Alice Cooper has started some sort of, like, kind of a school of rock type of deal in. He's from Arizona. Which is. Which was the way that my. The way that my interest in this story really started to catch fire was when I was trying to figure out where is Alice Cooper actually from? Because I thought it was interesting that Alice Cooper, who I always thought. Because in Wayne's World, he's talking about Milwaukee so much.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

I thought he was from Milwaukee. Not true. He was born in Detroit, but then he went to high school in Arizona. So that was why he has this. He has some sort of a. Like a charity foundation slash teach kids how to play rock and roll place in Arizona, which is the place that this dude called. So this guy finds Alice Cooper's gas card or his bank card, and then he calls Alice Cooper's, like, charity kids center, whatever it's called, solid rock or something like that, and says, I have your guy's bank card. And then they get in touch with Alice Cooper. And then the guy goes and meets. And he gives him the card. But the thing about. The thing about the story that really sort of piqued my interest when was. Does Alice Cooper's bank card say Alice Cooper, or does it say Vincent Damon Fernier, which is Alice Cooper's real name? His name is Vincent Damon Fernier. By the way, the middle name Damon is named for Damon Runyon. The character Damon Runyon, who is that? He was a sort of a plucky. How do I describe Damon Runyon? He was a. I think. Was he a writer or was he the character. I think he was a writer who kind of wrote in the. Maybe 19. I want to say 30s and 40s about kind of like, you know, bootstrapper stories and stuff. I think that was Damon Runyon's thing. Anyway, Alice Cooper's birth name is Vincent Damon Fernier. He was born in Detroit, grew up in a few different places, ended up in Arizona for high school. He's on the cross country team. There is a talent show at his Arizona high school and he and his buddies decide that they are going to enter the school talent show and they are going to do Beatles parody songs about their cross country team. But none of them play any instruments except one guy. There's one dude who knows how to play guitar. So the one guy from cross country plays guitar. The rest of them pretend to play their instruments.

[A]

This is.

[B]

Oh, by the way, the Beatles song that they did a cover of or a parody of was Please Please Me, which has the line, last night I said these words to my girl. But they replaced it with Last night I ran four laps for my coach. It was such a hit. Their Beatles cross country related parody song was such a hit with the student body that they decided to learn how to play instruments and become a band. This band eventually becomes Alice Cooper. The band was called Alice Cooper. That was the name of the band. Eventually everybody else, they kind of. The band sort of breaks up. I mean, they have some albums, they have some hits, but they end up breaking up and Vincent changes his name to Alice Cooper. That's how he became Alice Cooper legally.

[A]

Right? I think his legal name is Alice Cooper. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Does that mean then, and I guess it does, that your bank card has to say Alice Cooper? I guess it does. By definition.

[A]

I would guess so, yeah. When you said before that his name was in Dallas Cooper, I was like, I think he. Because I remember hearing that he had changed his name because it feels like it was one of those things like people calling Deborah Harry Blondie because they assumed that it was her name. Or people calling Hope Sandoval Massey Star or whatever. You know what I mean? The name and the band get confused because I remember you could be pedantic in like the 80s and be like, his name is an Alice Cooper, man. It's the name. Oh, so you knew this? I knew that the band was named Alice Cooper. And then.

[B]

See, that was news to me.

[A]

Correct people and then because. But then at a certain point you couldn't correct people anymore. And you know me, I love anyone anymore. I love correcting people about Alice Cooper because he had changed his name. I don't. Do you know, from all this reading, like about what time he changed his name? My guess would have been in the 90s, but I could be wrong about that.

[B]

That. No, I think it was earlier than that. He has a long Wikipedia page.

[A]

It turns out I knew nothing about the formation of the band. I don't know too much about Alice Cooper other than I think there's more Alice Cooper that you would like than you think. I kind of learned this later on in life. Yeah.

[B]

You know, in reading this, it really made me like, kind of like Alice Cooper, who I've generally felt positively towards. And. And yeah, made me actually more interested in the music than. Than I would think because. Because again, I grew up a very scared, very Christian kid who was very afraid of like, you know, Satan music and stuff and Alice Cooper. Because I wasn't in on the joke. He just seemed scary to me. And also weirdly old. I feel like in the 80s he looked like he was in his 80s, just maybe because of the eye makeup or something.

[A]

Yeah, he does have. And his face kind of hangs in a certain way.

[B]

He just was slightly terrifying to me as a kid. And so I put him in the category of, you know, of sort of things I wasn't interested in. But the more I read about him, the more interesting he sounds and the music actually sounds kind of interesting as well. Like they were really kind of a pretty experimental band. Like they started playing gigs in LA and basically we'll just call him Alice Cooper because that's his name. He sort of realized that they needed something to differentiate themselves from all the other bands in la. So they were really into the movie Whatever Happened to Baby Jane?

[A]

Oh, okay. Yeah, I've never seen that.

[B]

So that was kind of his like, like sort of outfit Inspo for his look and their look. And apparently they were playing a show somewhere in LA and they just absolutely cleared the room. Like everyone left because it was so terrible or so off putting, but there was some music manager guy in the back of the room who I guess didn't leave. And he was like, if we can harness this energy for good, you guys could really be something. And that's how they got their first record contract. But anyway, the backstory on Alice Cooper, like I said, is. Is fairly interesting in that, you know, it was his cross country team and it was from the school talent show where they just wanted to do Beatles songs about their cross country practices that went so well that all these years later we have Alice Cooper and we have Alice Cooper leaving his bank card which says Alice Cooper on it. Apparently in the. In the Gas pump and this dude returning it to him. Him.

[A]

Well, can I mention what I thought? See, I thought that you might get caught up on this aspect of it, because I was a little caught up on this aspect of it. Like, when you're somebody as famous as Alice Cooper and you lose your credit card, you know what? Let's leave fame out of it. Like. Like, if I have lost my credit card, I'm. Because Alice Cooper realized his credit card was missing, Right? Do we learn that in the story? And then he's like, yeah, I didn't know where it went. And then this guy reached out.

[B]

I think he says that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so if that's the case, well, then you're like, well, then I'm going to log into my bank and I'm going to at least put a hold on this card. Back in the day, you would call the bank and say, you got to cancel my card and send me a new one, and I'm going to have to re. Sign up for everything or whatever. But now you can kind of go into your bank, you can put a hold on your card or cancel it if you want to, and then just get a new one. You would just think that Alice Cooper has enough support in his life. And again, I don't picture him surrounded by an entourage of people taking care of everything for him. But I feel like he has enough that he could probably say to somebody, I can't find my credit card. Could you take care of this for me? Like, just have them cancel it and send me a new one? That's what I would think would be the case. But instead, Alice Cooper. I just saw this quick shot of him standing next to this guy named Guy, just being like, oh, yeah, this is great. I got my card back. And I'm just like, I like that Alice Cooper life.

[B]

Alice Cooper, like me, really wants to give it as much time as possible before he cancels the credit card or the bank card. Because it's such a hassle.

[A]

Yeah, it is a hassle. Yes. Maybe.

[B]

Maybe it's under the seat in my car.

[A]

Maybe.

[B]

What would have been, the best outcome would have been Alice Cooper has canceled the card. He's gotten a new card, this guy finds him, and then this guy is able to keep Alice Cooper's bank card and frame it to memento. That would be a cool. That'd be a cool little tchotchke.

[A]

Didn't the guy give or didn't Alice Cooper give the guy some stuff, like some signed album?

[B]

That was the other thing. Yeah.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And. And we got to kind of like, I got to run over to CBS Town here, so we should probably wrap up our Cooper talk. But, yes, he gave him, like, a signed album, which I have to say, I know I just said that the guy would want his credit card or whatever, but it's like, there's something extremely presumptuous about rewarding someone who brought you your bank card.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

With your album. Do we know that this dude even likes Alice Cooper's music?

[A]

That's an interesting point. You're right. Like, if somebody. If somebody did me a favor, I'm like, thanks. Here's a copy of the TBTL greatest hits record. I was talking to a friend on the phone the other day, somebody who I hadn't talked to. And, you know, I'll just name her. I don't really care. I've named her on the show before. My friend Monica, who you've met a couple of times. I used to work with her at kcrw. Big fan of her. Hers. In fact, she has a new podcast out, which I am. It's a movie podcast. I'm blanking on the name of it. I'll maybe try to shout it out later in the show, but for timing purposes, I won't look it up while I'm talking to you now. But all of that is to say I hadn't talked to her in a long time, and I'm sort of losing the thread on some of my friendships because I'm not on social media like Facebook or Instagram anymore. And so every now and then, I'll just reach out to somebody. And I don't think I had talked to Monica in a year or more. And so I think I texted her the other day and I just said, hey, I'm going to give you a ring in a little bit. It's not an emergency. Just wanted to check in and chat for a little bit. Bit. And. And then I called her and she picked up and I was like, oh, wow, okay, you picked up. And she's like, yeah, I'm not doing anything. And we just talked for a while, like, like old school friends. Just chatted on the phone for a while and it was good to catch up. And in. We're talking about, you know, she's the one who works on. I'm blanking on her name. Who's the woman who does the voice of Bart Simpson who has the yearly. Smith? Yeah, she works on Yeardley Smith.

[B]

Well, Yeardley Smith isn't the voice of Bart Simpson. Nancy Cartwright is the voice Of.

[A]

Sorry about that. Yeah. But she works on Yeardley. Weirdly, Smith's podcast from Herman's Head is what you're thinking. Yes, I did like Herman's Head. That. That podcast is called Small Town Dicks, and it's a crime podcast, so. Oh, that crime con that you were at.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Anyway, this is a few months ago, though, and so I'm catching up with her, talking about what she's been working on, and then I said, oh, yeah, you know, I just got a bunch of extra records back for the tbt. Although I'm like, would you at all be interested in, like, a vinyl record of. Of TB Tales Greatest hits that has, like, this. This funny cover on it of me and Luke in an Air Supply style? And she was like, no. I was just kind of like, okay, you know what?

[B]

Fair enough.

[A]

I. I did ask in a very timid way because I realized that not everybody would want this. And I. I think in. In this situation, I would have just said yes and let my friend either send it or not send it, but she was like, no, I think I'm all set on vinyl records. And by the way, she's somebody who I know, like, does make a point of supporting her friends projects and stuff. She kind of came of age in LA and I think understands the importance of that and has been a good friend to TBTL and stuff. So she's not, like, she's not an aloof person. She was just honest. She didn't need that. And so I guess Alice Cooper. Hopefully this guy is appreciative of Alice Cooper's work and writing records.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Like, there's something. There's a, you know, there's a certain. I don't want to say arrogance, because I don't actually think Alice Cooper is

[A]

an arrogant guy, but no, I don't think so.

[B]

Presumptuousness to saying, like, thank you for my bank card here is schools out for summer.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Which you have no way of listening to other than on this vinyl record. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[A]

On your mark.

[B]

On your mark.

[A]

Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready, go.

[B]

Everybody rattle dazzle.

[A]

All right, it's time to wish some folks some happy blursdays. If you'd like to wish somebody a happy birthday, you can email me. My address is andrewbtl.net and make sure you put blursday or birthday in the subject line. Blursday is better. Another little show note here. Make sure that you Sign your message. More and more people just don't sign their messages and think that I can figure it out from the email address, which in most cases I can. But last week I made an assumption based on somebody's email address and they hadn't signed it. And I apparently attributed a wish to the wrong person, the person sending it. And so there was some confusion there. So make sure Andrew does not like

[B]

being hollered at, whether it's about tool borrowing or. This was from attributing the wrong name.

[A]

This was from a very nice listener who was kind of like. But she did take me to task. She's like, you got my name wrong again. And like. And then went on this long description of how to describe her name. And then I did take a screen cap of the message she. She sent. And I said, with all due respect, you got to sign these things. Like, I can't. Like, I can't. I can't get scolded if you didn't sign it. So anyway, all of that is to say we got this one here. This is from Anonymous. No, just joking. This is from Robin, who says I'm. This is from Anonymous, who is saying, sure, I'm wishing myself a happy 65th Blursday. Now this is from listener Robin, who's turning 65, who says I've been a 10 since I was newly divorced and living in Alaska sometime in 2012. You feel like old friends now who've seen me through a lot, raising two kids, moving to Kentucky, re establishing myself career and otherwise. Seeing a kid get married, becoming a grandparent twice, and retiring. I love being 65. My insurance premiums are low and I get free gym memberships and senior discounts. Bounce to boot. Well, I love that you're loving it, Robin. Happy?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Wait, why am I playing this song? Did either one of us notice that I'm playing the Razzle Dazzle song and not the birthday? No, I'm just like, boosting that up there. I'm like, that is not the. No, that is not it.

[B]

Can you imagine, like, the. This. The freak out that's probably been happening all across America to people like, why is the birthday music being replaced by Razzle Dazzle?

[A]

This is better. That's too. That's too busy. Yeah, too busy scolding everybody about signing their messages. This is it. Does this feel better? It does, it does. It's smoother. Faren says, this is Farron. Faren, you didn't sign your email. That's okay. I know it's you. Farron says It's Lisa's golden birthday. Here are some other things that are both valuable and golden. Pepperidge Farm Goldfish. That's true. You know, I am. Am I the only person in the world who eats the plain flavored goldfish? I've been seeing a lot of plain flavored goldfish hate, and I take it personally.

[B]

Well, when you say plain favored plain

[A]

flavored old fish, you forgot.

[B]

When you say plain, you mean the regular, like cheddar flavor, but not like some.

[A]

No, just plain. Just plain. I don't eat cheese flavored things.

[B]

What do you think the flavor of a gold. An unflavored goldfish is?

[A]

It's just like a lightly salted cracker. They come in the blue thing. I've eaten them my whole life.

[B]

And that's not. You don't consider that to be. What color is it? Is it the color of cheddar cheese?

[A]

No, it's just like. It's the color of a cracker. It's like a, A. It's a light beige color.

[B]

There's a light beige. Goldfish.

[A]

Goldfish, darling.

[B]

Goldfish. You remembered.

[A]

Really?

[B]

I've. Maybe people don't know.

[A]

Here it is. Goldfish Original. It's in the. The bag is blue.

[B]

Hold on.

[A]

The bag is blue. My. My bagel is Jewish.

[B]

How about that, banker? What's going on?

[A]

It says Goldfish Original. No artificial flavors.

[B]

Oh, you know what? That's. I think. I think I've only had the cheddar ones and I just assumed that that was the default setting. I'm seeing what you're seeing.

[A]

This is why I'm insulted, people. There's.

[B]

Those are yummy.

[A]

They're fine. They don't really have that much of a taste. I like them. But they are very lightly salted. I like that. But it is interesting that people think exactly what you think. That cheddar is the non flavored one, by the way. I see.

[B]

Well, I think it has to do with the color. I mean, you're right. You're absolutely right. It's not even. This is a real Mandela effect, but. Because if you had, you know, asked me, I would have bet $1,000 that goldfish are also the color of cheddar cheese. But they're not.

[A]

I wish I could have bet you on that. I see they have parmesan pretzel ones. That's right. There's one other flavor that I do mess around with because I don't mess around with cheese flavored stuff and never have. As a kid we had plain flavored or These goldfish baked pretzel ones, which are like little pretzels in this shape of fish. But I still prefer pretzel rods.

[B]

By the way, the mildly interesting subreddit, there is an original flavor of goldfish crackers that are not cheese. They're unflavored, everybody.

[A]

That's so my dozens of you.

[B]

Dozens.

[A]

Yeah. No, my tone with you is not so much with you. It is like your reaction is exactly how the majority of Americans are wandering around the world thinking that original flavored goldfish are actually cheddar. But that's not true. It's just every. Everything is through this cheese colored lens. All right, listen, here are some other things that are both valuable and golden. Pepperidge Farm goldfish. The golden rule. Golden retrievers.

[B]

Cute.

[A]

The Golden Gate Bridge golden hour lighting for the best sellers.

[B]

That's what I was looking at. Getting all emo yesterday.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Those long shadows and Wonka's golden ticket. And let's see here, fair and I've

[B]

got a golden ticket still.

[A]

One of my favorite jokes ever told on tv. Tale from Andy Haynes and forgive me for forever being a girl scout, but I must quote, make new friends but keep the old. One is silver, the other is gold. But I'm definitely not calling anyone old here. Happy blurs day, Lisa from Faron and from us. Aw, rock a buzzball this weekend too, by the way. I love it. I keep seeing I gotta. At some point I gotta try a buzzball. They're all over the place.

[B]

Maybe the Thon. Maybe we'll celebrate the Friday end of the Thon, you and I and John by raising a buzz ball.

[A]

You, me and John in a circle. Hacky sacking. Each one of us ripping a buzzball in one hand and a twisted tea in the other.

[B]

Hacky sacking a buzzball with the lid off. The game is to try to get as much, much of the liquid in your mouth.

[A]

I love this. Love this for us. And finally, Beth says Happy 21st Blursday to my son Frankie. He just graduated from Western Washington University with a degree in urban planning. He had been a 5 much of his life and is now a casual 10. Love you so much, Frankie. Frankie. Love it.

[B]

Frankie goes to Washington. Congratulations. We were walking around Portland on Saturday and we walked through Portland State University's campus where they were having their graduation ceremonies. And it was so heartening again. I've been on a real, you know, I've been really doing some hope Core lately. I've been smoking that hopium just to see a bunch of young People and their families and, you know, just with their whole lives in front of them and how excited they were. It was very cool to see. So congratulations, Frankie.

[A]

Yeah, congratulations. That is awesome. I passed a. I was dropping some things off in the Ravenna neighborhood last week. Weekend. Very, very night, you know, along Ravenna Boulevard there, Luke, where it's sort of twisty and you kind of got that long, grassy median in the middle. It's a very neighborhood, beautiful neighborhood.

[B]

Very, very nice.

[A]

And I was dropping something off, but there was like a graduation party, a UW graduation party happening, like, kind of right next door to the house that I was stopping by. And it just. It did give me some sort of feelings of just sort of. I don't even know what, but definitely kind of nostalgic, but also, like you say, sort of hopeful as a beautiful sunny day and seeing the indications of somebody kind of starting the next phase of their life. It was pretty nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right. Happy birthday.

[B]

You know what I'm off to do? I'm off. Happy Blurs day, everybody. I'm off to record some CBS commentaries and see if I can locate some original goldfish in this city because I'm very hungry. I haven't eaten yet today, and now you got me thinking about goldfish. So good. I'll give you a full report tomorrow. I, Lord willing, and the airplanes fly on time. I will be back at the Madrona Hill studio tomorrow. I am taking, like a 6am flight out of New York City.

[A]

So you gotta get to the airport by like 4.

[B]

I'm probably like about 5:40, maybe 5:5, 3:0, 5:40. Yeah, I gotta be at the airport pretty early, so we'll see how that all goes. But if it works out, I will be at the Madrona Hill studio tomorrow once again, so please, if you can stop by for that. In the meantime, everybody have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[A]

And good luck to all. Power out.