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- [00:00]
A
And we've become great friends.
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B
I mean, close. We'll just sit in the front room and we'll sit there.
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A
He'll walk. He'll go to the front door, kind of knock on the door, and then sit down. Then I'll sit, then he stands, and he's out in the front. Then he'll come in. We just sit there, and he'll stand and I'll sit, and then. And then I stand and you sit. And then we're both looking at each other and we're just nodding like a couple of nodders.
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B
Right. Tbtl. Okay.
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A
Ah. I've been waiting for this moment for months, and it's finally here.
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B
Yeah. Now, we've known each other for quite
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A
some time in the professional realm, I'd like to push things forward in the friendship realm.
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B
What's the friendship realm?
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A
Well, you've heard of a realm? Yeah. Yes. Well, this is like a friendship one. A group of people basically getting together, calling each other friends.
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B
Well, I think I'm looking forward to cracking up. I hope I can, like, you know, totally crack up. So I haven't, like, totally cracked up
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A
in a long time.
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B
Sure, it's done in the name of
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A
comedy, but is debasing ourselves really that hilarious? This is not your mama's podcast.
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B
This is too beautiful to live.
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A
Well, all right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Thursday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. This is probably a party that you
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B
don't want to attend, but you're locked in.
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A
My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. It is our turn. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where things have cooled down a little bit here on this Thursday. But, boy, it's been spicy this week. Super duper hot.
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B
I feel warm, and I'm levitating.
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A
And it's caused me to become weirdly obsessed with my little silly livestock tank pool thing that provides me an irrational amount of joy.
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B
I'm hooked.
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A
Maybe I'll tell Andrew about that here on episode 4777 in a collector series.
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B
How does the fun begin?
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A
Triple 7s. Triples are best. Also 777. I'm heading off to Las Vegas for a TV story after we're done recording today. And I don't know, might be an indicator of something. Triple 7s. I don't know. The Internet, of course, has been obsessed with Jimothy the raccoon, but the folks in Minnesota, at least some folks are saying, no, no no, we have the best viral raccoon of all time. Just study it out and you'll see. We'll compare and contrast Jimothy with the building. The, you know, climbing the building raccoon. Also, we've got, you know, this is kind of the go to show for garbage talk and garbage anxiety. Somebody sent us an article about some real garbage behavior going on in someone's life. This was published in Slate magazine. I mean, trash is trash. So we'll. We'll take a look at that as well, and we'll say hi to this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. May be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. They just want you to be normal, and clearly you're not. He is Andrew Walsh, and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.
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B
Good morning, Luke. I'm very looking forward to this afternoon. I believe it's time. You know, I've been back. Back home from our big trip for a few days now, but I still have not made my, I don't know, inaugural trip to the grocery store. And I think this afternoon is gonna happen. I'm gonna be able to just like, stroll through the aisles slowly, just sort of see if they moved anything. Oh, the rice Arona used to be over there, but they dropped it down a shelf. That's interesting. Maybe make some small talk with the people who work there. They love that. I'm really looking forward to, like, I've been, like, slowly settling in all week, you know.
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A
Well, and like, there's, you know, we are men of honor. Lies do not become us. We'll just tell you we're doing a little. This is a little pre recording today because of my travel schedule and really my filming schedule in Las Vegas. And so I know you had been. We're recording this on Wednesday afternoon, and you had been very excited when we were in the rental car heading back home from the Valley City frog jump. And I was asking you and John, like, hey, what are we looking forward to about going home?
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B
You.
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A
You were really good. Wednesday circled cir. On the map or on the calendar? Do you use a map or a calendar to keep your week in order? I use a map.
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B
Well, that would explain some things.
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A
It really would. I'm sorry I put this in Kazakhstan. I don't know why I didn't realize that was today, but you were like, you were really looking forward to Wednesday. And then I had to ask you if we could. If we could actually double up on some recording to accommodate for my schedule. And I was nervous about asking you that. Because I know you had Wednesday. You were very excited. I think you said something in response like, well, so much for my Wednesday.
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B
Well, I'll tell you what, I wanted to. I thought about responding, like, in meme form. I was gonna be like, which meme? Like, well, just sort of like Internet speak meme. Sort of. I was gonna be like, Luke colon, what are you looking forward to the most when you get home? Andrew? Wednesday. Can't wait for my Wednesday, Luke. Good. I'm taking Thursday off. We gotta do two shows on Wednesday. I was gonna do something like that, but I was worried that you would take the. I was worried that it would be. It would come off as more caustic than humorous. And so I did not do that. And I just said, well, there goes Wednesday. But. But it's fine.
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A
I think I said, but I also think, honestly, I think this is now a better deal for you because all we've really added is about an hour of this jibber jabber to your Wednesday. And then, no, you don't have to get up and do a show.
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B
You don't have to sell me on it. Luke, this is gonna be the best
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A
day of a life.
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B
I've already bought the car. I'm driving off the lot. Like, you can stop the sale anyway.
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A
Come back on the lot. Come back on the lot. I wanna tell you one more thing. I think, if anything, I've done you a. I'm kind of the hero of this story.
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B
You're mad that I didn't say thank you, sir, is what's going on here.
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A
With tears in his eyes. Big, strong podcasters.
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B
Oh, by the way, this isn't related to this particular story, but again, it relates back to a huge topic that we talked about last week on the show that has actually, I think maybe forever changed me, even though I don't want to admit it. Of course. We talked so much on the show last week about my lost box that I had shipped using the United States Postal Service. It ended up showing up where it was supposed to show up, but it showed up late, almost too late for it to be useful. So it's sort of a waste of money for me. And also, as we talked about, the box was utterly destroyed. Now, the contents, I need to keep saying the contents inside the box were all fine. As far as I know, nothing was missing, nothing was damaged. And so I never even went to the Postal service or the postal office to ask for my money back.
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A
It's.
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B
The whole thing seemed pretty galling to me. But they told Me specifically, there was not a guarantee on the delivery date. And what can I say? The box was ugly when it got there. You know, I wasn't planning on reusing the box, so didn't seem worth my time to go try to fight for some money back from the Postal Service. Instead, I went to UPS and just shipped the box back to myself in Seattle there. And I will probably be using UPS or FedEx going forward. And that's. I guess that that's what the Postal service lost from me. It's. It's future business in that way. But, Luke, when I was shipping the box, Ribbit ribbon.
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A
I don't actually have that. That drop does not live. I should transfer it over. That lives on my RODE computer that we were using for the thon. It does not live on my home computer.
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B
But didn't you. You sent it to me, though. I feel like I should be able to play this on my. But anyway, so I'm in the UPS store and they asked if I wanted insurance because again, they said the first hundred dollars worth of whatever's inside the box is automatically insured. But do you want to ensure more of it? I never in my life, I've never bought the insurance from the company that's selling me the service. I've never bought, like the. When I'm at. When I'm at the Guitar center, they want so badly to send you, like to get you to sell you on. What do they call it? The warranty. And sometimes they do this thing. Do you ever get this at Guitar Center? They do this to me a lot. They're like, hey, I'll give you these cables for free if you buy the warranty on the big thing you're buying. And it'll all end up, you know, you'll end up paying maybe an extra $5. Like, there's something about the Guitar center business model where they really want you to buy the guarantees.
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A
And I think that's fascinating. They've never. I don't go there as much as you do, but. No, that hasn't been brought up. But that's actually kind of sort of compelling because if you walk out of there with, yeah, basically the warranty for almost free for the cost of what
- [08:42]
B
you would have paid for the cables, why not?
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A
Have you gone in for that? And.
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B
Yeah, I think I've done that twice. But that's only because again, they've kind of given me an offer that I can't refuse. But for the most part, I am not a guy who buys the insurance. So you see where I'm going with this? So I'm at the FedEx store, and I'm like, you know what? I probably should. How much is the insurance? And they're like, it's about 350 for every $100 that you want to cover. And the first hundred dollars is already covered. So I'm like, yeah, you know what? I'll buy an extra 500. Or maybe I. Maybe I said $500 total worth or something, which might be a little bit low, but, you know, so I ended up paying, what, $12 or something like that for insurance for this equipment that's coming back. And then also, at the very end of the transaction, the woman said, do either one of you. I was there with my dad. Do either one of you belong to AARP or aaa? And my dad's like, yeah, I belong to both. And so that got us some. I think that we could only choose one. But that. That basically gave us a discount that meant I paid about $3 for this insurance. So I was like, well, I guess I buy the insurance when I'm shipping things now. But then I get home, I realize I do have a damaged piece of equipment. But it's my own fault. I jammed my microphone into such a small little corner of my suitcase on the way home. That this is a very long, skinny, what they call a shotgun microphone. And I've had it for years and years. But the windscreen around it was kind of destroyed when I pulled it out of my suitcase. Again, this is my fault.
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A
Permanently smashed.
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B
It was no. Like, the top popped out. The top of it. I think the microphone got shifted, and the windscreen. It was both, like, just sort of crumpled and gross. It would have maybe found its form again, but it was. The top of it was busted. And that's where you need the windscreen the most.
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A
The windscreen. But the microphone survived. But the windscreen needs to be replaced.
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B
Exactly. And I do need that. It's an important part of the thing. And so I went online, and I think I bought it from a company called Adorama that some people might be familiar with. And it was. I don't know, it was like, 22 bucks or something like that. And then it was like, do you want the protection for, like, $1.50 or $2? I think it was like, $2. It was like, deliver. It was like, protection that it'll definitely arrive at again. I shouldn't have to pay extra for you to do the bare minimum. But I was like, you know, argument
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A
was compelling to Me last week about why, how, how wrong it is that they're making us get insurance that they will do the thing that particularly usps, the whole core competency.
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B
Exactly. But I was like, you know what? $2 for you know what? They didn't sell me insurance, Luke. They sold me peace of mind. Exactly what I was going to say.
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A
What price would you put on peace of mind, Andrew?
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B
About $2, about $1.95. But it's funny, like now that is twice in like three days where I'm, I'll buy the protection. And I guess the postal service has changed me.
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A
The thing is, and I hope you don't have to ever test it, the big question will be in these various matters how actually robust is the quote unquote insurance? Because you see people online who say, oh well, we bought the travel insurance, but then it doesn't apply to. Because that's another place where they really try to upsell you. Depending on the website. Actually Alaska Airlines does it now too.
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B
Yeah.
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A
When you're buying a ticket on Alaska Airlines, like, would you like to insure your trip again back to your thing last week? It's like, why do I have to ensure.
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B
Well, I think that, I think, and I could be wrong here, I think you're buying the insurance that your life doesn't get in the way. Because remember, I had to change my flight because there was a family emergency and it kind of all happened sooner than I thought it was going to. So the tickets that I had originally purchased, I needed to get there sooner. And so I did have to pay more money to transfer my tickets. That was like, that wasn't the airline saying we might not do what we say we're going to do. It's like your life might change. And so if I had bought that protection early on, I would have been able to switch my flight maybe because
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A
I've never bought it. So I guess I haven't really looked at the fine print. Maybe that's what it covers. But the thing I just. And maybe it's not even the Alaska Airlines is maybe a poor example, but there's other people who like, they buy the travel insurance from. Maybe they're buying something through like Travelocity or one of these kind of third party deals and then they find themselves in trouble somewhere. And it's like the, oh, I saw about a guy who was traveling somewhere outside of the US and he got sick and he had the travel insurance and he needed to have a procedure done and it ended up being like $100,000, you know, it was like they had to like, I don't know, pull out his spleen or something. This was like a local TV news story that I think I saw on TikTok where the travel insurance was saying, well, this is something that was already wrong with you, so it's not covered.
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B
Oh.
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A
Because if there's one thing we know about these insurance companies, whether they're the regular ones or even these other ones, is that they're. Even though they're allegedly insuring us, they're also looking for every reason that they don't have to actually pay out the policy.
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B
Yeah, no, that is. It's a really cool business model if you think about it. What they do is they convince us to give them a lot of money year in and year out, but they don't like having money come out of their purse.
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A
It's real, it's.
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B
It's genius. If you could think about it.
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A
So it'll be interesting to see if. And again, I hope you don't have to find out in, you know, because of, you know, extreme circumstances, but basically, like, if you ever were trying to cash in on this, like, I insured one time I moved, I had my possessions moved across the country from Los Angeles to New York. And I insured it through the moving company, which turned out to be just a completely shady. I mean, they did get the stuff eventually to New York, but it like sat out on a loading dock somewhere on like Staten island or God knows where outside. So when I got this stuff, it was all rain damaged, including famously, that photo I have of those two drag queens that I call the girls and was totally destroyed. And so I was like, well, I got the insurance and they were like, yeah, it's insured by the pound. Which is just so stupid because.
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B
Right.
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A
I mean, there's just.
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B
No, that's just objects are not valued by their pound unless it's literally.
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A
I mean, it was complete and total. It was just such BS and there was no recourse. It really soured me on that kind of a thing. So I guess it's sort of like, read the fine print. The other thing that I always feel like saying to people who are having travel troubles is like, now I could be wrong about this, but I don't think people are really getting a better deal by using Travelocity and using Hotels.com now again, because I don't use these services much anymore because almost all the travel that I do is work travel, probably for cbs. And so I'm booking it through this this travel tool that we use called Concur. But like, I have been under the impression for a while that the way to go is you find the hotel that you want to go to through like one of these travel services. Let's go. You go on hotels or kayak or travelosti or whatever one you use and then go cross reference the price that's being offered to you at the hotel or the hotel company's website and compare the two same thing for tickets, airplane tickets. Like, by all means, use one of these third party services to try to identify the cost of the. Because they, what they are kind of useful for is quickly sorting through all of the different prices and then telling you like, well, here's the cheapest ticket on that day. That's a useful service. But what I would recommend people do then is take that information and now go to that airline or go to that hotel and see how that price compares to the one that you've just gotten quoted to you. Because my guess is, and I, you know, years ago was checking this out, it was the case that usually that's the price they're charging on that day, or all the third party thing has done is identified what the cheapest price is. Now sometimes, I guess maybe for like hotels or something, there may be a batch of rooms that are discounted that are being sold as inventory to this website. But the number of times I've seen someone who is having a big problem with their tickets or their room and they've also booked it through a third party, meaning that the hotel or the airline has less responsibility.
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B
Yeah, they can't do anything. Like, I feel like I'm constant. Well, maybe not constantly, but whenever I hear about somebody saying, well, I tried to move my room or I showed up and like my room wasn't ready. And like when I said, here's my confirmation, like, well, that's Travelocity. You have to work through them. And like, for me, it all, like, when I first started booking travel stuff for myself, it was the early 2000s, I was probably asking Genevieve for advice. And Genevieve is a deal finder, a deal hunter, you know, and so maybe that's why I started doing it. And I feel like I was using Travelocity all the time. And now, you know, when I'm traveling, first of all, if I'm traveling with Genevieve for vacation, she just does it. Like, whatever she does, I don't know what her process is. She just handles it. And when I'm traveling by myself, I'm just, first of all, I know I want Alaska if I'm flying to Cleveland. I know there's only one direct flight to Cleveland. It's on Alaska Airlines. You know what I mean? Like, I don't feel like going through. Every now and then I'll do what you did, which is like, maybe, look, if Travelocity can point me in the right direction, but I do not want any. I could not agree with you more. Just like, buy from the companies that you're going to be working directly with, because it could very much save you some headaches down the road.
- [17:49]
A
Yeah. I think the move is to use those other services to identify the most affordable thing on that day. If you are somebody who doesn't care which airline you're on or what hotel you go to, and then again, try to go to the source on that if you. If you possibly can. I want to say, too, that the nice thing about flying on Alaska Airlines is that our friend, pilot Will is keeping constant tabs on us. Did anybody approach you on your flight? Because I got approached on my flight by the flight attendant who said, how was the frog jump?
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B
That is so funny. No, I think. I don't think that, you know, Will and I had a pretty big falling out. He owed me a bunch of money, and I sent some guys to his house. And it just kind of, you know, it was one of those things where it's just like. It started off friendly, but it kind of got weird. No, he had done that to me in the past, but now I feel like I am tracked more by broadcast Barry, who doesn't even work for the airlines. Like, when Genevieve. Normally not for. Not yet. When I. When Genevieve and I were on our. We're sitting on the tarmac in our seats on our flight to, I want to say Hawaii recently, before we took off, we both got a text from Barry just saying, oh, I see you're on this flight. That's a pretty good flight. Should be arriving. And by the way, we weren't meeting up with Barry when we weren't staying at, you know, at Barry's place or anything like that. He was just like, kind of keeping an eye out for us.
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A
Yeah, that guy is, you know, of his. The many things that he knows all about. And it's a long list. The machinations of. Particularly Alaska Airlines is at the top of the list. No, I actually was coming out of the restroom. My flight from Cleveland, it was Cleveland to Seattle and then Seattle to Portland on Monday. And like you had mentioned or like I mentioned the other day was an initially an early flight. And then it got. It left a little bit later because of some mechanical stuff or whatever. And I was. Because it was so early, I think I was fortunate enough I got into the last seat of first class. I was able to be in first class, which was. Which was really nice and lucky for me. But I was coming out of the restroom, and what I noticed is that the flight attendants were super nice up there. And almost even by the standards of the flight attendants in first class, this one flight attendant was just incredibly friendly and smiling a lot and taking very good care of everyone. Me and Me as well. And I came out of the restroom and she just said, how was the frog jump? And I have to say, it scrambled my brain.
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B
I believe it. I believe I was like, is that bathroom talk? Is that some sort of, like, you know, coded.
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A
I have a whole move when I'm coming out of the restroom, particularly the first class restroom, where it's. Part of it is just practical, but part of it is also performative. I. You know, you use the. You use the toilet in there, and then you flush it, and then you make sure that there isn't any. Well, actually, you. You make sure that there is anything on the toilet seat that would be uncomfortable for the next person. Like, no pee on the toilet seat. You clean that whole area up. Then you wash your hands. And then I take a paper towel and I dry my hands. But I also use that paper towel to open. There's a little lock to open the lock and open the door. And it's because I don't. I've just washed my hands. I don't want to touch the lock if somebody before me didn't wash their hands. But I also want the flight attendants to see. I do this whole move where I. I get my paper towel, I dry my hands off, I open the lock, I open the door, I step out with my foot like a. Who was the Keep On Trucking guy? Terry Zwigoff. Was that the.
- [21:16]
B
Wasn't it Crumb?
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A
Yeah, I think Terry Zweigoff made the movie about Crummo.
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B
Oh, okay. Gotcha. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that was Crumm. I think.
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A
Yeah. I keep on. I do a crumb. Is it Robert Crumb?
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B
Yeah, R. Crumb.
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A
I do like an R. Crumb foot out of the door of the bathroom and stick it down in the hallway so that everyone can see, mostly the flight attendants that I am now putting the paper towel into the garbage, which is like right there at the edge where the door is. So they will know that I have washed my hands. Anyway, I'm in the midst of doing that and the flight attendant says, how was the frog jump? And I was like, is this person a listener? Were they at the frog jump? How is this? And I just said, oh, did pilot Will let you know I was gonna be on this flight? And she said, yes, he absolutely did.
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B
And was Will flying your plane, do you think?
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A
He was Not. I asked about that. It was somebody else in the cockpit. But he just, I guess said, you know, my friend Luke is gonna be on your flight and why don't you make sure that he's taken care of. And then a couple things went through my head. I was like, okay, thank God I'm not being a hassle, you know what I mean? Like, thank God I wasn't like being extra. Oh yeah, way shape or form. I'm not drinking alcohol. Thank God I'm not like getting lit on bloody Marys. Sure. And then. But then it also was really nice because the flight landed in Seattle and we. So we were late taking off, but then the pilots made up the time, which I've always been confused by. Is it just kind of like do they just cut a hole in the bottom of the plane and they push the gas pedal lower like they used to push it to the floor, but now they're going to push it below the floor. So we go. Because they're all make up a little bit of time in the air and it's like, well, why wasn't that always the plan?
- [22:57]
B
Well, they cut, they cut a little hole in the space time continuum.
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A
Is that's what it was?
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B
Yes.
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A
So we end up landing in Seattle earlier than the predicted time based on our lateness. But now the new problem is there's someone at the gate. There's another airplane at the gate that we're supposed to land at. Now all of this is going on as I'm looking at my flight. Let's just say we land at 10:55am local time and I'm scheduled on a flight from Seattle to Portland at 12 o'. Clock, at 12 noon. Now that should be enough time. That's an hour and five minutes. But we just sit there on the Runway and sit there. The pilot makes an announcement, hey, we've got somebody in our way, but you know, we'll be moving along soon. And like 35 minutes go by.
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B
Yeah.
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A
And now I'm just like. And the problem is the next, if I miss this flight, the next sea, next Seattle, the Portland flight's at like 5. And you know me, I had big plans. I wanted to get home. I wanted to mow my lawn. I wanted to turn the filter on my livestock pool tank to test the theory of, like, if that's gonna keep that pool, go ahead. I had big, big lawn mowing plans.
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B
Yeah. Big Tuesday plans.
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A
Big Tuesday. Big Monday plans, even.
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B
Oh, that was Monday. Yeah, that's right.
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A
Monday. Big after weekend plan, Big weekday. And the Mariners are playing. I like, you know. You know how it is. I had my whole. I was very excited for this Monday. I was going to get home. I was going to do all this stuff. I was going to watch the M's, and I was going to, like, just. And now this is all evaporating in front of my very eyes because I'm sitting there, like, watching the time go by, and I'm starting to get really kind of mad. And. And I would be honest with you, there have been other times where I've had this happen. And I just start kind of loudly, exasperatedly, almost audibly, and not almost literally audibly being like, you got to be kidding me. Like, there's.
- [24:46]
B
Come on.
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A
There's this kind of frustration when you're being held captive. And what I kept reminding myself was this. The flight crew, the pilots don't have anything to do with this. The flight attendants don't have anything to do with this. Nobody tried to make. Nobody said, let's do. Other than whoever is like, ground control to Major Tom. And I don't even know if that's a. If that's the tower or if that's an Alaska Airlines. There's got to be some logistics person at some headquarters for Alaska Airlines who's keeping all of those planes straight once they're on the ground. But at the gates, that's got to be a job of probably multiple people. So I know no one on this flight is responsible. They're as annoyed as I am. But, like, I don't. I can't get a hold of that person who's at the control center. So I'm just kind of like, ah. But of course, I'm not doing that as much here because I know that the people know that I was in a frog jump because of our friend, pilot Will.
- [25:37]
B
Yeah.
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A
So I'm a little bit better than normal behavior, but I'm still kind of starting to get freaked out because I'm just like, oh, my God, I'm gonna like the idea that I would miss my flight, which is at this same airport, because we are not allowed to park the plane at the airport. Is, like, making me crazy. There's something extra frustrating about that.
- [25:52]
B
Well, there is. I mean, can I jump in here? I don't know if I'm cutting off your main point, but there's first of all, two things about this. Sitting on the tarmac when they make up time in the air, and it gets us early. It gets us landing early, which happened to me. I was texting Genevieve. I had had Internet on the plane, so I was texting Genevieve and it looked like we were. I was landing a half hour earlier than expected when we took off. So I was telling her that, but I was also. Because she was picking me up. And I also told her, but I don't know how long we'll sit on the tarmac, because often if you arrive early, it doesn't do you any good. You're sitting on the tarmac. And that's actually, I think. I don't know if this is a subway hot take. I don't know if this is my subway take, but it's better to just be in the air during that time because I think they shut off access to the bathrooms when you're on the tarmac. Right?
- [26:41]
A
Oh, that's a good point.
- [26:41]
B
So, like, it's just better to be in the. In the sky.
- [26:46]
A
Yeah, they're very nervous about anybody getting. I mean, you know, there's FAA regulations, I get it. But like, yeah, once you're like, that's a real. That's a real liminal space. That's a real purgatory to be sitting on the plane, on the ground. But in a way where you're not allowed to get up and use the
- [27:02]
B
restroom or the air might not work the same way. Sometimes it's hotter on the tarmac. I would just say don't make up time if there's not going to be, you know, space at the spaceport for us. But also, I thought this was interesting, and I don't think think I told you this yet, literally, stop me if I did, because it's frankly not that great of a story. But I think I was telling Genevieve this, but when I got on the flight, I told you that my flight was slightly delayed and I woke up on Monday morning. And again, I have more of an evening flight. It was scheduled for 5:30 in the evening. I got a note from Alaska that said, you're taking off like 90 minutes later than you're supposed to, I think, or something along the lines of that. And so it's not a huge delay, but I was pretty anxious to get home. And I was already landing at night in Seattle, and I just wanted some time to decompress. And also, no joke, I didn't have to tear everything out of the studio, but I had to install a bunch of stuff again to get this in working order for our show on Tuesday. All of that is to say I was feeling a little anxious, but I noted that, and this was a very good thing. I noted that it wasn't one of those cascading delays. Often you'll get a note from the airline that says, oh, your flight has been delayed by about 30 minutes. And then you get another one that's been, we're tacking another 30 minutes on. And then it's like, oh, we're tacking another 60 minutes on. Like, I don't know if you've had that experience. I assume you have. You travel a lot. That is really frustrating. So when you see that there's an initial delay, usually that's just the beginning of the delay journey. But this time they just said, we're going to be 90 minutes late. And there were no updates after that. And then I got an email notification from Alaska as well, as opposed to just like the push notification on my phone. And the email gave a reason. And I'll look, see if I can find this on the fly here. I should have already grabbed, but essentially it said some of our flight crew, because of travel issues with some of our flight crew, we are taking off later than expected. So it wasn't one of those delay things where it's kind of like, well, a storm in one part of the country pushed one flight back, which has this cascading effect. It was like one very specific issue. And it was the arrival time in Cleveland of our flight crew. And I didn't know exactly what that meant. But then we get on the plane. You haven't stopped me, so I'm guessing I didn't tell you this. We get on the plane and the. And the pilot comes on and the pilots apologizes for the late start time. And he says, me and. Me and my co pilot arrived in Cleveland later than expected. And there's an FAA rule that says that you must, you know, have a certain amount of downtime, a certain number of hours of downtime before we're allowed to fly again. So that's what happened there. Just blame the faa. And I was like, I understand that. He was just. I mean, I sort of appreciate the honesty. And I know it was a joke. I know it's just like, it was just a lighthearted way of Kind of. But I don't think it was the FAA's fault that you were late. It was probably this airline system that is so unreliable that made you late. It was probably Alaska Airlines that made you late. And maybe again, it might have been a storm somewhere, who knows? I'm not trying to blame, but I, I know the FAA has had some issues in the past couple of years, so maybe we could blame the faa, but I like the way that he
- [30:14]
A
was sort of being run by a guy from the real world. Road rules challenge.
- [30:18]
B
Exactly. So I'm not here like jumping to defend the FAA in this current, you know, manifestation of it or version of it. But I kind of didn't like the. Well, you got to blame these stupid rules that the FAA has so that we're not like flying drunk, tired or whatever. You know what I mean? It's like, no, you didn't arrive in time. Again, it might not have been his personal problem or.
- [30:40]
A
The big question is, did you, when you saw that the flight was 90 minutes delay, did you then delay your trip to Cleveland Hopkins?
- [30:49]
B
No, I still got there at 6 in the morning. No, of course. Yeah. So I just. In this, I know that this seems excessive, but I promise you, with the amount of equipment that I had in my suitcase, so I have one of those hard shelled suitcases. I think you and I might still be using the same one. Although you might have, I think you upgraded your suitcase experience.
- [31:09]
A
I didn't even upgrade. I just moved to something else. But you still have that away luggage.
- [31:13]
B
Yeah, I have an away luggage. You see these all over the place. Actually, you're seeing them less now because I'm still hanging on to mine. I think other people have upgraded, but hard shell case splits down the middle. You open it up, you put clothes on one side, clothes on the other side. Right. An entire one half of my luggage was filled with equipment that is bigger than a cell phone. And both flying there and back. I always ask like, are we doing the laptops out of the bags? Because sometimes they just let you go through. I don't know if it has to do with how busy the TSA is or whatever, but sometimes they say don't worry about laptops out of the bag. And that is a dream on flights like these because I have like these red boxes that are these audio devices. I got two of these things that are, you know, definitely, you know, they're much bigger than a cell phone. I had bags and bags of wires and cables and I'm trying to think a headphone mixer and all this stuff in my bag that took up an entire half of my suitcase, which is why I, I was doing laundry constantly when I was there, because I didn't have as much room for laundry. So it takes me a long time to get through security. And I had two laptops. Two laptops says it all. So anyway, I was sort of, you know me, I don't want to hold up the line in any situation. So at security I'm telling people, just go around me, I'm going to be filling up these bins for a while. Then it takes me a really long time to get everything back into my suitcase so that it all fits. And I still ruin my microphone holder thing. So all of this defensiveness is to say, yes, I arrived at the airport two hours before my flight was supposed to take off. But I really felt like I kind of needed that time.
- [32:43]
A
Yeah, no, I'm, you're not on trial here. That's later for the international courts to decide. And I'll leave that to them at the head. No, what I mean was when you got that email, let's say you were planning on showing up at.
- [32:55]
B
Yeah, I, I, I pushed my, I pushed my airport arrival time back. I just always made sure I had two hours at the airport before the flight.
- [33:02]
A
Because that's also a dangerous game, Dano. Because what happened to me on Monday morning was I wake up, I take the shower, I check my email. They say I have a push notification saying my flight is pushed back to nine. I'm like, oh man. So then I'm kind of like, I'm not, I kind of wish I could go back to sleep. I'm kind of too awake. And then I get an update that my flight is delayed until 8:40. In other words, they moved, they've moved it back.
- [33:27]
B
Oh, they've moved it up. Which is good news if you're already at the airport. Right.
- [33:31]
A
But it's a dangerous game if you. Because, and I've seen this happen before too. It's like where they announce a delay and then something just goes a little better than they were expecting. And now it's not as delayed as they thought it was going to be. So I was in this weird, I was like, I don't want to be, it's at this point, it's 5:30 in the morning. I'm like, I don't want to be hanging out at the airport at 5:30 for no reason. But also they're actually shortening the delay. Ultimately left at nine, but that's that's why I asked about your thing, because if, you know, it's possible that when. I always wonder what the culpability is or what the rules are, when they say, hey, the flight is actually going to be delayed until this time. And then you show up later because you're thinking the flight's later. And they're like, actually, we got lucky. A plane showed up that we weren't expecting or a crew member or whatever, and now we're taking off. Like, they should have to. Once they tell you that the flight is delayed by 90 minutes, they should have to honor that, it would seem, because I've seen them actually shorten up the time of the delay.
- [34:28]
B
That reminds me of something I saw in the Seattle airport on my way to Cleveland. You know how you have.
- [34:36]
A
You get really, really, really handsome face. Yes.
- [34:38]
B
Oh, I was going to talk about your feet also.
- [34:41]
A
Pretty good.
- [34:42]
B
You know how you get really. I'm trying to think of the right word to describe what happens to you when you hear a really loud noise. I mean, you get irritated, but there's more than that. Triggered is a good word for that.
- [34:53]
A
Emotionally dysregulated.
- [34:55]
B
And. And I. I think that. I mean, listen, that is a real thing that people deal with, you know, and just, like, in various scenarios. So I'm not.
- [35:03]
A
I think I'm one of them.
- [35:04]
B
Yeah. And so that. That kind of sensory input is the word I was kind of looking for there. Those are real issues that people have. Hearing a loud motorcycle. I mean, it's. I'm not trying to fall asleep next to the exhaust pipe, but I don't think I have the same exact reaction to it that you do. I have something that is probably based more in pettiness than actual chromosome makeup, and that is the sound of other people's phones on speakerphone. Like, it irritates me so much, whether they're watching a YouTube video or talking on speakerphone or whatever it is, I just hear that. And I just always think, how rude can you be? In fact, at the airport, in that same visit, I was happy to, like, some woman was just like, we're sitting next to each other, waiting in the waiting area. And then she turned on her phone and she started watching something. I was like, what the hell? And I just got up and I moved two seats down. And I was like, I hope you noticed that I didn't glare at her or anything. I just moved. But I was like, I hope you took a little moment. That's like, that isn't unpleasant thing to do. To people in public places during that same time, when they're starting to board my flight, I'm waiting for them to call my group number. I start to notice I'm getting irritated about something. And there's a loud sound of somebody on hold. It's like that jangly hold music, you know, that is very recognizable, but it's playing very loud on somebody's cell phone. I'm like, you gotta be kidding me. I'm like, what's going on? And then I kind of noticed that people are kind of staring in the direction of that sound. I was kind of in my own world. I don't know if I had my headphones on prior to this or what, but I just look, I turn around, and I see at the gate desk behind me, which was for a different flight, there is two people standing. It looked like at very first glance, maybe a father and maybe his daughter, who's maybe like, high school or older or something like that. And that's when I realized the sound is coming from the girl's phone. She's on hold, and it's really loud. And they're both talking to the gate agent. And then suddenly I realize, oh, this guy's a little hot under the collar. And he's saying, no, it said, the flight boarded at 12:08. We got here at 12:05. What do you mean? And now I suddenly. And that's like, literally all I heard, but. But I suddenly totally understood what happened. It was that. And this is where the airlines, they just on their own whim, can say, okay, that's everybody up. There's one lost sheep. But we're just gonna.
- [37:37]
A
I've had it happen to me.
- [37:38]
B
I remember that story. And then I suddenly. I didn't feel the person was probably
- [37:43]
A
on hold, on hold with the airlines,
- [37:45]
B
Alaska Airlines, because the gate agent wasn't able to do anything. And at that point, the plane is probably gone. Or they really, literally can't do anything. But can they acknowledge that it's bullshit that they give us times? And not unlike, who is the New York Yankee? Luke, were you reading about this? It led to a brawl this weekend. He uses the pitch clock exactly to the T of the rule, which is like, the batter has to engage when there's only eight seconds left on the pitch clock. And I'm blanking on this player's name. Sorry. I know Sklaroff will know because he's a Yankee, but, like, basically, it really ticks off the pitchers when you're just engaging at the very last second. But he's following her as a hitter. Yeah.
- [38:31]
A
You have to engage. I find that rule so weird. The batter must engage with their eyes. It's like, who cares? Just throw it. But like the batter with the pitch, guys, like the batter steps in to me just to be. When the batter steps into the box, then like how. You know what I mean? Like, what is the batter engaging with their eyes? What is the point of that being a thing?
- [38:50]
B
Yeah, I don't know if it's safety. I don't know what the rule is, but I did understand from reading this article in the Times about it that the reason that this particular player does that and it gets under the skin of the pitchers is because it kind of doesn't give the Pitcher the whole 15 second pitch clock to sort of maybe freeze a runner on the base paths. Apparently it's especially effective and irritating when there are runners on base. And it's just kind of a. It was very interesting. I think, I think. And you know me, Luke, I'm not usually like first in line.
- [39:20]
A
Jose Caballero.
- [39:21]
B
Caballero. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Thank you. And I'm not usually the first in line to defend a Yankees player, but like, absolutely. If the rule is with 8 seconds left, you have to engage. Well then why is he. The umpires are giving him grief for following that rule to the letter of the law. Well then change the rule. Like he's being compliant. But they're like, no, no, no, you're not. Anyway, I feel like the airlines, if you're going to say that you can board at 6:08 and we get there at 6:05 and the plane is already like unboardable. Well, then you have to make it right. You have to let me sit in the, in the cockpit with the pilots
- [40:01]
A
or something, maybe on his lap. This is my point about the pitch clock because I'm reading in on this a little bit. It's. Yeah, it's like he gets into the box, but then he doesn't engage with the pitcher. He doesn't make eye contact. It's like, why is that? Here's the deal. The pitch clock should just start. It's counting down and in that time the batter needs to get in the batter's box and the pitcher needs to throw the pitch. The batter wants to lie down in the batter's box. Who cares? Like this idea that a component of this is that the batter has to like, look at the pitcher, make eye contact, connect hearts, blow him a kiss, all before the pitcher can throw the pitch. Like the Pitcher can't throw the pitch until the batter makes eye contact. Screw that. Well, batter can stare off into space and the pitcher can throw the pitch.
- [40:46]
B
I mean, I guess so. It says the three reasons that are listed under AI overview is safety, as that does sort of make sense. Like safety. I mean, these things are bullets coming down, keeping the pace of the game moving under the pitch clock, which, which, I mean, that sort of seems like a tautology.
- [40:59]
A
That's actually. That's. Yeah, exactly. That might be literally begging the question.
- [41:02]
B
And then. And yeah, I think you're right. But then the other one is it says prevent unfair quick pitching. So you could sort of see it as it's a rule that is sort of set up to protect the batter, not just the safety, but also so that like, you're not like, you know, there's a 15 second pitch clock and you're still like sort of scuffling your feet or adjusting your gloves and then suddenly the pitcher just throws it over the plate. I guess.
- [41:24]
A
I guess so. Maybe that last one is slightly the most compelling. But I've always thought it was funny that there is this rule that the batter has to look at the pitcher because to me it's like if the batter doesn't want to look at the pitcher, then it's just on them that they're not going to be as aware of what's happening in the box. And the fact that they can use that as a tool against the pitcher by like averting their gaze. Averting their gaze. Averting their gaze and then looking up at exactly the last second.
- [41:46]
B
At least that gives. I feel like. But I kind of like that Caballero does that, right? Like he's, he's using it. He's using this tool in a way that is totally legal under the books. But then like the umpires are giving him warnings for it and it's like, what the hell?
- [42:00]
A
Yeah, I don't have a problem with him doing that. I just think that the eye contact rule is kind of weird to me and kind of silly. I don't think he's doing anything wrong. I've so much. This is one of those shows, Andrew, where everything that you're saying is then causing more thoughts in my mind to bloom on various topics. Quickly cook quickly on the subject of my flight in Seattle. When we last left off, we were sitting on the tarmac and I'm watching the time go by and I'm freaking out. Well, finally the flight, we do move, we park and I realize, ah, crap, we're parking at the end gates of Sea Tac. And I'm now taking off from the sea gates.
- [42:34]
B
Those are very far apart now, right? Yeah.
- [42:37]
A
The end gates are, you know, way the heck out there. But here was the thing, and this is where I shout out to Captain Will and shout out to the very nice flight attendant, I believe, who was named Stefan Co. I'm kind of antsy. We get up now, the jetway is attached to the plane, and they open the door, everyone can leave. And I'm sitting on the inside. So the person next to me, who, by the way, was a whole situation, this woman was an older gal and wearing a jacket that had, I don't know, a hundred patches on it related to the Olympics. And she was wearing a medal. Did I tell you about this yesterday?
- [43:14]
B
No.
- [43:15]
A
She was wearing an Olympics medal on the flight and had the jacket that had all of these different, like, patches that were all, like, the decathlon, the this, the that. I did Google her on the flight because I could kind of figure out some of her from her various luggage tags and writing on her jacket. She's somebody who is a very frequent participant in, like, the senior Olympic Games in doing Olympic events, but for people of a certain age. So she stands up, I stand up, and now we're in the second row of the flight, and then there's somebody on the first row who's kind of taking their sweet time, and she's kind of like, waiting for them. And like, do you want to go? And the guy's like, no, you guys can go. Then she's like, no, after you. And I'm thinking, like, please, no, let's not get into a Seattle politeness off. Like, I need to be gone. And as I'm starting to hustle off the. Off of the flight, the flight attendant goes, oh, hey, by the way, I checked, and your flight from Seattle to Portland, it just got in. So you're actually. That flight is going to be delayed by a few minutes, so you've got plenty of time to make it.
- [44:11]
B
Oh, that is nice.
- [44:12]
A
I was like, thank you. That's awesome. Like, thank you for telling me that. Because it wasn't saying that in the app. This was some kind of proprietary information that she had that because she was keeping an eye on old burbs. She knew that I was stressed, and she knew that that was information that would be relevant. And so then I made my way over to my flight, like, stress free. That was really cool. I really, really appreciated that.
- [44:36]
B
And I really appreciate and abide by. I Mean, it would be really weird if I didn't. When the flight attendants, when you arrive somewhere and the flight you're on might have been delayed a little bit or for whatever the situation might be. But sometimes they say, listen, we have some people on this flight who are trying to make tight connections. And so we're going to try to get them off the plane first. Please stay in your seats. I know a lot of people just sort of tune out. And we talked about this. It's easy to do. You tune out the announcements or whatever in the plane land, and the first thing you do is you're unbuckling your seatbelt and standing up and getting your luggage. And sometimes I see people doing that when I know that there are people on this flight that are trying to make this tight connection. And I always, I just like, I really appreciate like when you're riding public transportation around town, like you're just, you're all in it together. I feel like, like when you're on the E line and you see somebody is chasing the bus as the bus is pulling away from the bus stop. If you're on the bus, you gotta yell to the bus driver, stop, stop. Somebody's trying to get on. If the bus driver ignores you, scre like we are bus people and we look out for each other. And there are those brief moments on airplanes where the same rules apply, like if you're at your destination, but there are fellow passengers who are trying to make a tight connection, you do everything you can to make way for them.
- [45:52]
A
Absolutely. Now the other thing I wanted to say to you was about your luggage. I think I have an efficiency that next time you're traveling to a thon and you have that suitcase that's half filled with that stuff. Stuff, leave it in. Because one of two things will happen. Either you just get a chill TSA person who will just let it go through, they'll look at it on the X ray and think nothing to see here. Or they will pull your bag to the side at which point they will come, they will unzip it, they will run through it with one of those little Stridex pads that like tests if there's bombs in there. They'll put it in the anti bomb machine and they'll send you on your way. Which I still think will be shorter than unboxing it.
- [46:35]
B
I mean, you might not have had the same experiences I've had with it. I mean, sometimes they're a little bit more chill when they do it, but also other times they totally toss your bag. And I cannot tell you how many times I've stood there and I get grumpy if they ask me any questions. I give them a one syllable response as they're like ripping everything out of my bag and then I've got to repack it anyway. But if I can at least be in charge of, of unpacking it and doing it in a way that I know when I get back to the end of the line, I can efficiently as possible because like. And I do this thing with these two mixers. I have these red mixers that I have to travel with. There's no, I need them when I do the show with you and I need them when I get to my destination. So I can't ship them or anything. Like I kind of roll them up in T shirts and pack them in a very certain way. And I just really do not like letting them rifle through all my stuff. Like if I'm going to do it. And usually when I have this much stuff, I get pulled like there's so much stuff in this, it looks like bombs. Honest.
- [47:31]
A
I think when I know, well, you shouldn't strap it to your body, I think that's definitely have a system. But I was going to say when I've been pulled over, it seems like. And I haven't had typically, although I travel, I mean that's the thing. I travel with audio gear all the time, although I'm not traveling with your amount of it. But like when I fly to Las Vegas, I will have a mix pre.
- [47:51]
B
I will have.
- [47:51]
A
Actually I'm now bringing two microphones. Two microphones says it all. I've got my, my regular one that I use and then I've got the one that I had to buy, remember on like the last second because I forgot to bring my gear. And that one uses a different. That one can go straight into my computer as just a USB C to USB C. And I now just bring that as an emergency measure in case my mix pre were to burn up or something. So anyway, I've got two microphones, a mix pre, et cetera. But when I've been pulled over and I don't take it out of the bag, I just leave it in the rare occasion I get pulled over, they just run it through with that little piece of, of testing paper, put it in the machine, tell me that it's not bombs and then let me go. But if they're pulling all your stuff out, obviously that's like, you know, that's, that's a hassle.
- [48:35]
B
Yeah, like I say this is. I can tell you for sure. This was literally half of a suitcase full of stuff that all looked suspicious, you know.
- [48:42]
A
Now you're talking about the gate agent. You know, those two people that were on the speakerphone and trying to kind of like, figure things out. I have a story of a gate agent clearly just fully messing up up and being so rude about it to me and then fully realizing it and then being, I think, somewhat chagrined. This is like not one of those. Everything okay over there?
- [49:08]
B
Yeah, Lucy came in. So. Because we're not doing any kayfabe about this, the fact that we're doing two shows in a row has sort of, kind of messed up the rhythm of the day. And I'm a little.
- [49:18]
A
You need to take her outside.
- [49:19]
B
I am wondering if at some point if she might need to. She just came in to check on me, so I'm wondering if she might need to go to the bathroom. But right now I think we. We're good. I'll let you know.
- [49:27]
A
Okay, you let me know because I don't want her suffering and I don't want you suffering. I know the anxiety around is a dog about to drop a douche indoors, right?
- [49:37]
B
Yeah.
- [49:37]
A
And I don't want you to be laboring under that. That anxiety either, because that's not a good feeling. And this story is going to be
- [49:44]
B
about two hours, I was going to say.
- [49:46]
A
Also.
- [49:46]
B
We'll probably wrap up pretty soon anyways.
- [49:49]
A
The. Oh, and by the way, we're going to do blurs days tomorrow. Since we're kind of out of sync on our shows, we don't want anyone to miss out. Anyone who sent in a blurs day. So it's going to be a special Friday blurs this week, which is actually sometimes fun for a little change of pace. We went to. So, you know, a couple now almost a couple of weeks ago, Becca and I went to the kind of wine country and we were staying. We were going down there for a birthday party kind of weekend get together. And we were scheduled to fly down from Portland to Santa Rosa, California. And because I booked our tickets and because our tickets were together, it meant that both of us were on the potentially getting upgraded list. And when that happens, it's only if there are two seats allowed on the. In first class that you get moved up. Like if there was one seat, I would not get moved up because I've got someone with me and that's fine. I don't. I didn't really care one way. That's a short flight. It doesn't even matter. It's like an hour and a half, if that. But I woke up that day and I looked at the flight schedule, and I was like, oh, wow. Actually, there are two seats in first class. They're not together. They're in the first row and second row, but there are still two seats in first class. And we are the top of the upgrade list. It's my name and Becca's name, and I'm watching it. And actually, as we were doing a show, I think. Because that was another day where I think we doubled up, maybe I get this email from Alaska Airlines. Congrats, you've been upgraded. It's like, oh, that's fun. And, you know, Becca doesn't typically fly up at the front of the plane, and we're going to wine country, so that's a kind of a fun little treat. We'll be up there together. Maybe we'll have a little red wine. It'll be fun. So I'm all kind of excited about that. In the back of my mind, we get to the airport, I meet her at the airport, and also it happens that we are on the same flight as her brother and her brother's wife. And we're walking towards the gate, and I say, I better go up there, because it still hasn't assigned us our seats, but it told us we're in first class. And I know the exact two seats. And I go, yeah, we're. They haven't given us our seats yet, but I've got to walk up there because I want to see what's going on. And they're like, ooh, Mr. Fancy, you guys are going to be in first class. So we're approaching the gate, and we look up there, and I see that there are two names with check marks for having been upgraded in first class. And Andrew, it's not me and Becca. It's Becca's brother and his wife. Two people who do not fly Alaska Airlines as much as I do. Two people who are wonderful people in the world, but are not road warriors of the titanium status. Also, two people who had not received an email earlier in the day saying, congratulations, you've been upgraded to first class. And I was deeply confused when we got to the gate. And the very unhelpful gate agent said. I said, hi. We were upgraded to first class, but now we don't have C. And not only were we not in first class, we didn't even have the seats that we used to have in coach. They had moved Becca way back in the plane in a middle seat.
- [52:49]
B
Oh, my God.
- [52:51]
A
So not only did we. Because we originally were in the same row in coach, that was fine. Now we've gone from congratulations, you're upgraded to first class to, you're not even sitting together, and you're not even in the same seats you used to be in. It was madness. And I said to the guy, I was like, hey, I'm a little confused. And you could just tell that he did not want to engage at all. He's looking down at his screen when I get to the thing. And I said, hey, I'm a little confused because we were. I got this email that said, we got upgraded, but now we're not upgraded. He goes, well, your new seats are. And he lists the seats. And I said, well, I know that, but we were told that we were in first class, and now we're not only not in first class, we're not even in the same seats. You guys goes, that's the computer. We have nothing to do with that. And I was like, okay, but what do you think happened? And he goes. He was just so incredibly unhelpful and aggressive. So much literally aggressive in a way that, like, I'm insane. And I just kept saying, like, it's not even that big of a deal, except that I'm. A, I'm confused by it. And B, now we're not even sitting together anymore. Like, this is.
- [54:03]
B
Yeah. And a middle seat.
- [54:04]
A
Of all worlds.
- [54:04]
B
And a middle seat. I mean, this is crazy.
- [54:07]
A
It's total craziness. And also, what are the chances that Becca's brother, who has the same initials as her, so he goes by his middle name. So when I mention his name is Scott, that's actually his middle name. His first name is actually Ronald. So he is R. McCulloch. Guess who else is R. McCulloch. Rebecca McCulloch. So is it a total coincidence that we don't have first class seats anymore, but two people who were not even on the wait list, by the way, because I was checking the wait list. You can see the whole list of names. Here's the upgrade list. They're not even on there. They're not even on the top 20 people on there, because that's just. They just don't fly Alaska a ton. I mean, they were. Technically, anybody on the plane could be upgraded. A service dog could probably get upgraded, but that doesn't mean you're going to. What are the chances that someone who has the same initials as the person who was supposed to be upgraded has somehow Been upgraded with their partner, and we've somehow dropped down the list. It's very clearly a case of this guy updating this thing in a way that was incorrect. That's the only explanation. And I'm caught now in this terrible moment where I'm, like, kind of annoyed, kind of confused, I guess. Happy for Scott and Tiff that they're being.
- [55:25]
B
Scott and Tiff know that they are the. They are the ones. Okay, this is.
- [55:31]
A
And now they're going into low key. They know we're all kind of laughing about it, but they know that they have gotten upgraded. Now they're low key, going into a mode where they're trying to think what they don't want to consider. And they might hear this. And I'm fine if they hear this, because I'll say this to them face to face. What they didn't want to fully consider was that they just accidentally got our seats because they want to. Tiff's going, well, I was on the upgrade list. I'm silver. And it's like, well, yeah, you were on the upgrade list.
- [55:59]
B
Don't do the voice.
- [56:00]
A
But you. Like, you were like. They wanted to embrace a world in which this was not just obviously what it was, which a mess up, where they were the beneficiaries of having the same initials as us, which in any
- [56:12]
B
other case, you would root for them 100%. Right? Yes, of course.
- [56:17]
A
But in this case, they don't want to embrace that reality. They want to construct a counter narrative where. Where this was, weirdly the flight where people who were not on the waiting list or not in the top 20 people on the waiting list suddenly are now leapfrogging the other people into the seats. And in fact, when they got off the flight. And by the way, they took the tickets, at no time was it like, oh, hey, sorry, these are probably your tickets. I remember them getting off and going. Yeah. Some of the other people up there said they were also silver, so.
- [56:44]
B
Yeah.
- [56:44]
A
Yeah. Maybe this was a make a wish flight, Tiff. Maybe that's what they're doing. It's just upgrading people in silver. Not the titanium people.
- [56:50]
B
Oh, wait, wait, wait. I did not think that we were at the end of the story. I thought you were.
- [56:56]
A
Oh, we weren't.
- [56:56]
B
Oh, okay. We're not. Okay. Okay. Because you're still at the gate talking to this agent, right? Okay. Yeah.
- [57:01]
A
And I'm like, just again, I'm just. I'm confused. And I'm also really put off by, like, this. The total, like, I don't Know what you're talking about. I have nothing to do with this. I can't help you. And also, these are your seats. These are your seats. They're your new seats. And I'm like, we. We don't want new seats. We just want to at least be in the seats in coach we were in. And. And so I'm like, at this point, it's like, I don't want to get Scott and Tiff evicted from the seat. Yeah, I don't even really care that much. I also would like them to admit that they clearly got our seats. That would kind of feel good to me because that's. There is no logical explanation for what happened other than, oh, there was a keystroke error made by a human being who saw R. McCulloch. R. McCulloch and put the wrong one in. In. And for some Vega, from reasons that I don't understand, it pulled through the other reservation and somehow kicked us out of our seats. This is clearly a human error where somebody who had the same first initial last name, it was a confusion. So I call the airline, not on speakerphone, but I call the airline not because I'm trying to get. To get them evicted from their seats, but because I just want to know what happened. And also, do I get some free miles out of this. Like, you sent me an email that said, congratulations, you're upgraded. And now you've.
- [58:17]
B
And now you've downgraded. You downgraded to splitting you up and putting one of you in a middle seat, which is like, that's terrible.
- [58:25]
A
So I'm like, at least maybe I can score some kind of a, you know, something out of this since they kind of promised one thing and are doing something else. And so I get on the phone with them and I'm like walking down the concourse now because our flight doesn't board for a little while while. So I'm on the phone with them. And again, this whole thing is so confusing because I can't throw a full fit because the beneficiaries of this are my in laws.
- [58:47]
B
You know what I mean?
- [58:48]
A
They're not. They're there. They're not complete strangers. And again, I'm not trying to reverse this now. I'm not trying to take it away from, again, them being like, we clearly got your seats. Here are the seats would have. Would have also been a move. But anyway.
- [59:02]
B
Well, so are you allowed to do that, though? Are you allowed just to get. Or I guess if you go up and you do it officially through the gate agent?
- [59:07]
A
No, you can just hand. You can hand someone else your tickets to first class. I mean, and as long as. I mean, I don't think I've done that before when I've gotten upgraded and Becca hasn't.
- [59:16]
B
Well, it'd be on the phone, right? You guys. Are. You guys. You guys aren't using paper tickets, I assume?
- [59:21]
A
Yes, but I mean, what I'm saying is you can trade seats on the airplane.
- [59:25]
B
Just say you sit down there.
- [59:26]
A
Yeah, that's what I meant was just like, they could have just said, sit in those seats. We'll sit. Sit back at your seats or whatever. They didn't, though. So the person on the. The person I'm talking to on the. On the phone is also just like. They're wildly confused. They're like, well, you have a different plane now, and it has fewer seats in first class, so that's why you were moved. And I was like, nope, doesn't check out because I'm standing down the concourse from two people that, as of five minutes ago, were not in first class. So we're not shedding people from first class because there aren't enough seats. In fact, we're adding people to first class into the seats we were supposed to be in. And then finally this person goes, oh, I see. Yeah, this got changed at the gate. Yeah, this got changed at the gate. Guess who it was. It was our guy Ari. And I use his name because it matters. It's our guy Ari at the gate who clearly just made a human error and is totally defensive because he's been now caught on his human error and doesn't know what to do. But the funny part was, so then we're going back to our seats. He has been able to find us two. He says, there are two seats together, but they're at the way back of the plane. So we previously were in the, like, nicer part of coach. Now we're going to be together. That's the good news. But we're going to be in the 25th row. And I said, that's fine. I'd just rather be together.
- [60:45]
B
You're back at the gate agent now, or this is the person on the phone who's helping you out.
- [60:48]
A
Gate agent.
- [60:50]
B
So you were on. You sort of got your answer on the phone with somebody, but you. You were walking around. You said you weren't at the gate having this conversation between the three of them. So when you get back to the gate agent, how do you get him to listen to you or believe this phone conversation you just had?
- [61:09]
A
Well, the timeline is jumping around here, but, like, the point, what really happened was after we were not seated together and Becca had been downgraded, he did offer us the chance to be in the 25th row together, which then is a downgrade for both of us because now we're both moved out of better coach and we're now in the literal back row of the plane, but we're together. So I was like, that's at least something. So that's been had. Now I'm on the phone. Now I'm on the phone with the airline trying to figure out why did this happen and can I get some free miles out of this? They say I'm still on the phone walking onto the plane. I still haven't gotten the full explanation from them now, but what I notice is that Ari is like. Like being very friendly. As we're boarding the plane, his entire affect has changed to, like, overly nice, Gone from being overly mean to overly nice. I'm like, huh, I wonder what that's about. So we get on the plane. We're now sitting. Beck and I are in, like, row 25. It's fine. Again, it's not even. Like, it's a short flight. I don't even really care. I'm just. I'm mostly annoyed that he was rude to me. And I'm still kind of confused and low key. I think Scott and Tiff should have given us. Given us the tickets. But all of a sudden, Ari comes steaming up, steaming up the aisle on the plane with two tickets in his hand.
- [62:19]
B
On the plane.
- [62:20]
A
On the plane. In the words of Urve Vilachet, the plane. The plane. See, I didn't do the voice.
- [62:27]
B
That's good.
- [62:29]
A
So he's got these two tickets, and I'm like, wow, that's amazing. I guess two more seats in first class opened up. What's going on here? And he's like, we had two people miss their connecting flight. Or we had a connecting flight that was late. And I was like, cool. He goes, so I can move you guys up to the better part of coach. So he moves us up. Now we're together, but we're in the sixth row of coach together. We're now at the very first they
- [62:52]
B
call, like, premium seating or whatever back in.
- [62:54]
A
Premium, baby. In fact, we can, like, see first class from where we are. So it's like, oh, thanks, man. Well, that's, you know, now we're on, like, as far as the overall, how this is netting out, out from where our original seats were to where we are. Now is actually a net positive.
- [63:10]
B
Okay. So you have been sort of upgraded after all. Sort of.
- [63:13]
A
It's, it's. It's like, had this been the case, I told Becca, I was like, if this entire journey had involved us just sitting in row six of coach to fly to Santa Rosa, I would have had no problem with that. It would have been. I've been like, cool, we're in more comfortable coach seats. But then we're sitting there and I get. Get an email from Alaska Airlines going, we're so sorry for this. We're giving you 3,000 miles. And Becca gets the same email. We've both just been auto granted 3,000 miles. Great. Then the very nice flight attendant from first class comes up to us and she gets down, she kind of hunches down and she goes, I don't even know what exactly happened. I just heard it was a whole thing. It's too complicated. Here's the point. I'm taking care of you now.
- [63:56]
B
Wow. Because of your status, it's sort of like trickled down to the.
- [64:01]
A
No, I think what it is that Ari realized what had happened and is now like, I've messed up badly. I'm granting these. I'm telling them to grant these guys miles. I'm telling the first class flight attendant, you need to take care of those people in six.
- [64:16]
B
But don't you think that he's doing it if he's just doing this and he sounded like pretty rude at the beginning of the story. He was.
- [64:23]
A
He was more than pretty rude.
- [64:25]
B
But I have a feeling that if he was just dealing with a schlub like me, I wouldn't be getting this. I think it's because you're of your status that he suddenly cares. Right.
- [64:33]
A
Well, I. No, I mean, in a roundabout way, it's because of the status, but because the status is what had us riding in first class from the jump. And he realized that he is the one that messed this up, that he. In pulling the names over for the first class upgrades, he grabbed the wrong R. McCulloch. And in doing that, it somehow set in motion these course of events. Because he's so nice to us now. Like, if he was just like, his whole affect has changed. If he, like, I can tell you this, when, when he didn't think it was his fault, he was real rude. He didn't. He was like his entire mood changed. And I. And I think it was because while as, as, like, you know, as I was walking around in the concourse on the phone and as he had some time to look into what was going on without anyone right there in front of him. He recognized that there had been a clerical error and so he was doing everything he could to fix it. He was giving us the free miles. He was. Was moving us up to six. He was telling the first class flight attendant, take really good care of these people. They've been through it as if this.
- [65:37]
B
But do you think that if he realized that he had made this mistake but nobody would ever know and he would just sleep with it at night, he would have done all this stuff? I don't think so. I think it's because he realized he screwed up with a high profile flyer and that he's got some heat on him or more potential heat on him. It's not getting talked about towards the
- [65:59]
A
back end of a podcast.
- [66:00]
B
Right. Like, I sort of feel like he's not do if he made this mistake, but he's got the attitude that I think he probably carries around most of the time is probably how you saw him at the beginning. And it was just me. I don't think that he care. And I understand that the whole situation wouldn't work. They were just me because of that. But I'm just saying that, like, yes, I don't think that he's like, oh, this was my fault. Now I truly care and have human emotions. No, I think he realizes his fault and there could be some repercussions or even internally. I was sort of, maybe I'm wrong about this and you would know more about it, obviously. But like, if the airline has suddenly granted you guys each 3,000 miles, there might have been something going on where somebody said, okay, we got to make it right for this flyer, especially this like, status flyer. But also, how did this happen? And then somebody might have realized, hey, it was the gate agent. Hey, gate agent, you made a mistake. You know what I mean? I feel like there's heat coming from somewhere that is just beyond you potentially getting on a microphone and mentioning this in the badlands.
- [66:59]
A
I did bring the podcast up repeatedly.
- [67:02]
B
Yeah, right.
- [67:03]
A
No, I think you're absolutely right. No, I think you're absolutely right because I don't think he was somebody who naturally was that worried about the emotional state of the people.
- [67:13]
B
Exactly.
- [67:13]
A
You know, getting bad news from him about their ticket. Something changed dramatically. And you're right, it might not have just been been, you know, Paul on the road to Damascus being struck from.
- [67:24]
B
That's what I'm saying. Yeah.
- [67:25]
A
Like it was, oh, yeah. This is like somebody who puts in a lot of miles with this airline and is not somebody, as I once said to somebody who was mad at me leaving npr, I said something like, I am a radical isotope that you don't need bouncing around the universe. Mad at you.
- [67:43]
B
Right. And for some reason you then, you then stopped fill in hosting on. Wait, wait, don't tell me for some
- [67:50]
A
reason those are unrelated. Andrew. There's no way to connect those. There is no way to ever connect those dots. But yeah, I think you're probably totally right. But it was just such a crazy thing. And again, I know this is the least relatable story and the most first world problem to ever have. I'm not asking for any sympathy around the fact that we flew to wine country in the sixth row of the plane. None of that was a problem. It was just the way that it went down and how weird it was. And then, then the weird fact that the people who were the beneficiaries of this little moment were also the people we were going to Sonoma.
- [68:23]
B
Yeah. Well, that's kind of interesting.
- [68:25]
A
Yeah. And that was a quirk. And again, that was where it gets. Okay, what's that?
- [68:29]
B
And they did get their first class. At first, when you were talking about this, I sort of thought that like I, I thought it ended up that like this guy was going to realize his mistake or somehow they. The company realizes the mistake and you end up in first class. Because I actually think that would have been a very interesting dynamic too. Because I mean that.
- [68:45]
A
I wouldn't have done that.
- [68:46]
B
Yeah, that would be pret hard. Yeah.
- [68:49]
A
I would not do that. I don't. I actually don't know if I would do that to anybody, to be honest with you.
- [68:55]
B
Like.
- [68:57]
A
Yeah, because if somebody, if somebody was. Got moved up and they were excited about it and I didn't know them, I don't think, certainly not for like an hour and a half flight. I don't think I would. I don't think I could actually.
- [69:09]
B
Super short flight.
- [69:11]
A
Yeah, I don't think I could actually handle. Can you imagine this? This you find out that technically it's your, it's your seat and it was stolen from you. I don't think I could handle the embarrassment of those folks or the person having the flight attendant come and kneel down and say I'm so sorry.
- [69:27]
B
We have.
- [69:28]
A
By the way, that happened to me too a while ago. Didn't I tell you that like I was in first class. I was upgraded. And then they said they made a mistake and they moved me out of first class. I don't think I could personally be responsible for someone getting the.
- [69:41]
B
That.
- [69:42]
A
Getting that information and then having to get their stuff and then having to walk back and then having me go and sit in that seat.
- [69:48]
B
Well, I would think that would be one thing, but that would, that would be the switching on the plane, which would be very specific. But I. If you got this resolved at the gate and they just issue you the proper, let's say proper tickets, the first class tickets, and they have to call those other people up to the gate, I mean, that would also be a scenario where you'd potentially have a little bit more anonymity. Except. Except while boarding that person or those people would know which seats were theirs and when they're walking by you, you would just have to make sure you have some busy work going on and you're not making eye contact. And by the way, I would say, you know what I do, I would
- [70:24]
A
say is put these on.
- [70:25]
B
He's putting on his novel glasses. And when they walk and he closes the big novelty eyelids.
- [70:30]
A
Nothing to see here.
- [70:32]
B
Listen here. Add this to my hot two white
- [70:34]
A
wine and make it snappy.
- [70:36]
B
Add this to my hot take, Subway Takes series when I eventually make it on the show. Here's my hot take. I think that if you're sitting in first class, you are not allowed to make eye contact with the people who are walking back to coach because I'm the person who is always walking back to coach and sometimes at the very back of the plane. And I will just remind you for sympathy points, I was once in the second to last row of an airplane sitting in the bathroom stank before we took off. And there was an announcement that Andrew Walsh should come to the front of the plane because he got upgraded to first class on the plane. I get my bag, I make some jokes, I roll it all the way from the back of the plane to the front of the plane, only to find somebody else sitting in, quote, unquote, my seat. And I said, I'm Andrew Walsh. And he said, I'm Andrew Walsh, too. And I had to then roll all the way back to the very back of the plane and then fly anyone. Anyway, all of that is to say
- [71:34]
A
that's maybe the craziest story that I've ever heard.
- [71:37]
B
That is on an airplane. But as a person who's always like, going back to my seat wondering, is the person in front of me going to recline their seat and make this like a really rough five hours? Like, am I going to be crunched in there? Who's my Seatmates, whatever. Like, I find flying to be pretty unpleasant as a man of my kind of size in those tiny seats. I hate it when the people in first class are just watching us all walk by, read a book, read a book, get into conversation. I know these people have their nose in their phones most of their lives anyway. Look at your goddamn phone. I don't need you looking me in the eye as I walk back to steerage.
- [72:11]
A
That's really interesting information for me because I've always thought that it's much more rude if you're in first class to avert your gaze. Like, please do not trouble my eyes with the hoi polloi. I have thought that I'm being more a person of the people. When I'm making eye contact with folks that are boarding the plane, I'm looking at their kids, I'm waving to their kids. I'm being like a person in the world who sees you and recognizes your humanity versus I do. I'm just staring at my laptop like I can't even be bothered to look at you. But you're saying that actually feels worse.
- [72:46]
B
I'm not a zoo animal. Don't wave at my goddamn kids. While you're having. While you're looking forward to your flight
- [72:52]
A
and your warm season, I'll stop thinking you're a zoo animal.
- [72:55]
B
I will continue. Continue to throw my feces.
- [72:58]
A
Stop furiously gooning and throwing feces. And then I'll treat you. I'll treat you like a human. Well, that's good to know. I'm being serious because on the times when I do end up at the front of the plane, I definitely don't want to come off as it's already. Listen, let's just be honest. Being in first class is inherently rude. That's my subway to take. It is an inherently rude thing to be in first class. Like, you have either spent a bunch of money to be there or you've hacked the system like I have. But it is at. It's because of the, like, the class difference that it expresses. It is inherent. It's like a billionaire. I think it should be illegal to be a billionaire. Nobody needs a billion dollars and nobody needs to be in first class. What we need to do is the whole plane needs to be coach, but with more leg room for everyone. It is an inherently. It is an inherently unfair and classic fastest system to have first class. Yeah, but while being up there, while I'm up there with the oligarchs and the 1. The. The 0.01%, you're saying it's actually better if I do not make eye contact with the people going back to.
- [74:03]
B
Yeah, I mean, I was boarding the plane and I just like, I'm walking down and there's just some guy just like sitting all like comfortable, just sort of checking us all out as we walk by. Like, I don't need that. Like, if you're in coach, you can stare at whoever you want, but like, I don't know, it does sort of seem like, oh, yeah, fine. Like, yeah, look at me while you're looking forward to your nice cushy flow flight.
- [74:20]
A
Although I have heard it on good authority that lookin's free touch and will cost you.
- [74:24]
B
Well, definitely you can touch me. Like, that's the one thing. If you.
- [74:28]
A
Okay.
- [74:29]
B
If you wanna. If everybody wants to all do tickle fingers or silly fingers, go like that as you walk.
- [74:38]
A
All right, well, that seems like as good a place as any to wrap things up here on a. I think, first date.
- [74:44]
B
I think that was a real relatability competition between the two of us there. I think neither one of us are very relatable.
- [74:51]
A
Well, the good news is we've once again failed to talk about raccoon rivalries.
- [74:55]
B
I don't know if I have.
- [74:55]
A
A lot of that one may go out the window. I don't know. Thanks. I want to say thanks to our friend Michelle Mickshell for sending me that article from Minnesota that I've chosen now two days in a row to not talk about. Because I'll talk about what a struggle my life is.
- [75:09]
B
When I realized it was only a 90 minute flight, it didn't sort of, sort of of change the tenor of that.
- [75:15]
A
Yeah, I mean, that's the thing. I was never. It was never that big of a problem until it was Ari. All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We're going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. I will be in Lost Wages, Nevada, doing a TV story down there. So we'll see you all from Sin City. In the meantime, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.
- [75:35]
B
And good luck to you all. Power out.