#4791 Cardio-Asscular Technology

Summary

TBTL Episode #4791: "Cardio-Asscular Technology" – August 12, 2026

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

In this playful and meandering episode, Luke and Andrew bounce through a uniquely TBTL mix: everything from nostalgic sports talk about athletes smoking in the locker room, classic comedy sketches, and the evolution of Bob Odenkirk’s career to fresh takes on “smart” toilet technology. The show’s main “Top Story” (at 30:00) is a new German-developed toilet seat that monitors heart health—a launchpad for riffing on health gadgets, home bidet etiquette, and classic TBTL humor. Throughout, the hosts reminisce, tease each other, and philosophize about cultural touchstones, making this episode a quintessentially “too beautiful to live” experience.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Sports Nostalgia & Athlete Specialization

• Fresca, Smoking, and Old-School Athletes (03:36–06:37)
  • The guys reflect on how professional athletes—like Len Dawson, who famously smoked and drank a Fresca at halftime—contrast with today’s hyper-specialized, ultra-healthy stars.
  • Andrew admits a nostalgia for the era when “most football players also had other jobs” (05:33).
  • Luke and Andrew discuss how modern athletic training can make athletes so specialized that basic skills, like pitchers throwing to first base, actually suffer (07:42).

“It’s almost sci-fi-esque, when you hear about the labs they go to… hooked up to all these computers and God knows what’s flowing through their veins.”
—Andrew Walsh (11:21)

2. Baseball & Tech: Next-Level Batting Cages

• Super-Advanced Pitching Machines (12:00–18:01)
  • Fascination with a new pitching machine where a digital screen projects a hyper-realistic pitcher (e.g., Mizaroski), throwing all his real pitches at real MLB speeds.
  • The hosts marvel at how tech is making it possible for anyone to “face” a major leaguer, though agree: neither would ever want to stand in against 104-mph heat.

“It’s showing you the release point, and it’s like—Is it somewhat animated or is it more like video? …Hyper-realistic.”
—Andrew & Luke (13:29–13:36)

3. Comedy Deep-Dive: Odenkirk, Cross, and Modern Comedic Evolution

• How Bob Odenkirk & David Cross Met (18:44–21:13)

  • Originated from the “TJ O Pootertoots” sketch on The Ben Stiller Show.
  • Discussion shifts to Odenkirk’s transition from comedy to action star, and the tension it creates for comedy fans.

• Comedy Crossovers: Jordan Peele & Horror (23:19–25:33)

  • Will future generations be surprised Jordan Peele started in sketch instead of horror?
  • Debate on the permeability between horror and comedy: “there’s this membrane between horror and comedy, particularly if it’s done well.” (24:42)

• Recent Horror, ‘Weapons’, & Comedy Directors (27:13–29:36)

  • Zach Cregger (“The Whitest Kids U’ Know”) gets kudos for bringing comedic chops to horror.

4. TOP STORY: The Smart Toilet Seat that Detects Heart Problems (30:00–39:16)

• A German company’s smart toilet seat, the HARO EKG, can detect atrial fibrillation (AFib) as reliably as conventional EKGs.
• Luke finds the technology compelling, especially as a seamless health monitor, but Andrew is skeptical about bringing “electronics into the bathroom.”
• Good-natured bickering about the limits of tech, privacy, practicality, and social awkwardness (what if you have a party and everyone sees your heart-monitoring toilet?).

“How good is your stereo gonna do you when you’re dead?”
—Luke Burbank (32:41)

• Missed Headline Opportunities!
  The duo dreams up better NY Post headlines for the story (“Heart Shart,” “Cardi P,” “Cardio-Asscular Technology”), showcasing their gleeful punnery (34:41–57:05).

5. Bidet/Bathroom Tech Etiquette

• Luke defends the bidet lifestyle, Andrew remains unconvinced by fancy toilets.
• Conversation twists to whether using someone else’s bidet is intimate or weird.

“You’re not sharing the wand with someone any more than you’re sharing… the toilet seat… It’s not unhygienic.”
—Luke (39:16–40:58)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On athlete specialization and the fragility of skills:
  “Their arms have been bred to such a degree their entire face has disappeared.”
  —Luke, comparing baseball pitchers to freakishly-long-armed gibbons and ZZ Top (08:10)

• On baseball’s most advanced pitching simulators:
  “It’s really Mizorowski, and it’s really throwing 104 at the top of the zone... I would never ever, ever stand in front of that machine.”
  —Luke (14:23–16:13)

• Classic TBTL humor on bidet tech:
  “I'd be more likely to get some sort of a health watch or a ring before I'd let my ass do the talking.”
  —Andrew (35:40)

• On bidet etiquette:
  “I’d use the bidet at your neighbor across the street who keeps tearing the signs down’s house!”
  —Luke (41:39)

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Other Pop Culture: Seinfeld, 30 Rock, and Timelessness in Comedy

• Discussion pivots to the rewatchability of Seinfeld versus The Simpsons and 30 Rock (46:32–56:32).

• Both hosts largely agree Seinfeld doesn’t hold up as well today:
  “There was this collective mania around Seinfeld… looking back on it, it’s like, OK, it’s a contest where everyone’s trying not to masturbate.”
  —Luke (47:44)

• Reflections on the datedness (or not) of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, 30 Rock, and TV’s relationship with cultural moments.

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Email/Voicemail Segment (42:18–45:31)

• Listener Stephanie from Portland calls in, time-banditing through old episodes, excited for the conclusion of Luke’s infamous eye sty saga. Luke reflects on body image, eventually feeling grateful for small improvements (“But guess what? I don’t have a giant massive chalazion protruding…”).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Opening, Hot Air Balloon Ad Parody: 00:00–01:26
• Sports Nostalgia/Smoking Athletes: 03:36–06:37
• Baseball Tech (Super-Pitching Machine): 12:00–18:01
• Odenkirk, Comedy, and Horror Crossover: 18:44–29:36
• TOP STORY – Smart Toilet Seat: 30:00–39:16
• Bidet & Bathroom Tech Etiquette: 39:16–42:05
• Listener Voicemail (Stephanie): 42:18–45:31
• TV Comedy Rewatchability (Seinfeld, 30 Rock): 46:14–56:47
• Title Brainstorm – “Cardio-Asscular Technology”: 56:47–57:27

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Conclusion

A classic TBTL hangout: part sports/nostalgia pod, part comedy nerd-out, part social technology think-tank, and part bathroom stand-up routine. The hosts’ digressions deliver laughs and the comfort of two old friends inviting listeners into their evolving inside jokes. If you want to know whether you’d put a smart toilet in your home and want a side of Bob Odenkirk career analysis—this episode is for you.

[No Mountain Too Tall… And Good Luck to All.]

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Are you sick of the airport, the long lines, security, the danger of terrorism? Why not take a ride in a hot air balloon? Virginia Horson's hot air balloon rides. You don't have to worry about terrorists or long lines. And it's just you and me up in the air.

[Andrew Walsh]

Whoa.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey. I can see my house from here. Just kidding. Why not take a ride in my balloon? I'll cut you a deal. Forget about airport security. See you later, suckers. I'm taking myself a hot air balloon ride. Ooh, fresh air. Listen, I'm not one of those college types that's gonna talk your ear off. I bought a balloon. And it doesn't mean I think I'm better than everybody else, or I can just read a book. I'm not one of those people who doesn't know how to be quiet. So come on over. Take a ride in my hot air balloon. It'll take you wherever you want to go. I promise.

[Andrew Walsh]

TBTM

[Co-host/Guest]

Love it or hate it, it appears to be another irrevers along mankind's journey toward God only knows what psycho,

[Andrew Walsh]

screwy and totally unbalanced laser pointers.

[Co-host/Guest]

You know what I'd like to do? I'd like to take my laser car and drive it off of a laser cliff.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you believe that?

[Luke Burbank]

I do if you do.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it's absurd. What would happen if you went out on stage and you didn't set off the fireworks and you didn't break up the guitar and you didn't have the

[Co-host/Guest]

smoke and the fire and the blood

[Andrew Walsh]

and all that, and you just came out and did your thing?

[Co-host/Guest]

Well, I've got to run. I can hear the blender crying. Coming, baby. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. Sounds expensive. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've had a few.

[Luke Burbank]

A few what?

[Co-host/Guest]

A few small beers. By beers, we mean Dr. Pepper Zero Sugars. That's right. We're in a Dr. Pepper Zero Sugar phase around here. It's that part of the summer where we've cycled out of the Frescas and the Coke Zeros and we're just enjoying the Dr. Peppers but of the zero sugar variety. And we hope you are going to enjoy episode 4791 in a collector series, Let the fun begin. Because that is where we have arrived today. Been trying to talk about the story for a minute now. Of course, generally speaking, ideally, most of us, we go to the bathroom in a Toilet if we can.

[Luke Burbank]

A cat is an angel that poops in a box.

[Co-host/Guest]

But what if that toilet could save our life? It's ironic that I've been promoting that story for at least one show and haven't gotten to it. That's very 11 o' clock news. But you see the promo at 6, you know, what's in your kid's vitamins could kill them more at 11, it's like, maybe we get that info now. What's in your toilet could save your life. And we may hear about it today, we may hear about it in months. I'm just not sure. I do know we're going to hear from this guy today who's the longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He comes into this Wednesday episode with an unusual amount of confidence. I would say, oh my God, guys, we are crushing it. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Just so you know, weirdly, coincidentally, I am upholding the Fresca tradition of tbt.

[Co-host/Guest]

How about a Fresca?

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not usually drinking soda during the show, but I happened to grab one as I was passing the fridge today. And so you mentioned specifically that you're not in a Fresca mood, but maybe that's why. Maybe the universe is like, there always has to be a certain amount of fresco Fresca conservation.

[Co-host/Guest]

One of us must always be. Do you remember? This is going back a couple of weeks, but I don't know how closely you're monitoring it, but you and I and our friend, television's Chris Hayes were texting about. He had seen a clip where Charles Barkley was talking about how NBA players would smoke sometimes during halftime of basketball games. And it reminded me of one of my favorite sports photos of all time, which is Len Dawson, who was a quarterback for the Kansas City Chiefs. I think this was maybe in like the first super bowl ever. It's halftime and he's just smoking a cigarette. I don't know if you zoomed in on the picture though, but he looks like he has a bottle of beer at his.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, let me look again.

[Co-host/Guest]

Which would be the ultimate. But no, it is in fact a Fresca. It's having a Fresca. And I've like, man, if they brought

[Andrew Walsh]

back a nail, a dart and a Fresca for a.

[Co-host/Guest]

If they brought a dart in a Fresca, if they brought back the glass bottle of Fresca, that for me would be just a oh, wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know if I've ever even seen a glass.

[Co-host/Guest]

I don't think I had either. I, I, I assumed here was my, my journey with that photo was again, our friend Chris Hayes was talking about pro athletes smoking during their games. And I was like, I remember this Len Dawson photo. But then when I looked at it, I was like, well, this has to be after the game, because he's drinking a beer. He's got a beer and a cigarette, like, maybe they won the super bowl and he's celebrating. So then I, like, had to go find some, like, oral history of it, and it's like, no, no, no. It's halftime. He's just smoking a dart and drinking a fresco.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God, Fresca. I love that. I mean, I kind of hate it. I don't know if I really love it. I mean, really should, should, should. Athlet. I mean, that clip that he sent of the basketball, the NBA players reminiscing, and they were like, oh, yeah, somebody said, yeah, we smoke at halftime and then, like, and drink a beer. And somebody said, a beer. Like, yeah, there wasn't any Gatorade in the locker room back then. I was like, there wasn't. We couldn't get, you know, catch me

[Co-host/Guest]

on the specific day, but I have a lot of. Well, no, I always have a lot of nostalgia, but I mean, catch me on the specific day if I feel like trying to, if I feel like trying to make the argument that maybe somehow sports were better when like, most football players also had other jobs because you weren't, you weren't making enough money. This is early afl, NFL days, but, like, you know, guys would, like, deliver beer in the off season and, like, just have normal jobs, and then they would go play football in the wintertime because they were pro football. And that's not every player. I'm sure that the Joe Namaths of the world were still making a pretty penny, but there was, there is something, to me, that's charming about not making it so hyper, hyper, hyper specialized. But then also you probably get a better product when it is hyper, hyper. Like, there's stuff that they're doing on the, you know, on the NBA basketball court and on the NFL field and to some degree on the baseball field that they just, they weren't doing 30 years ago because they were smoking cigarettes and drinking Frescas and going to, thinking about having to go to their real job that weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, so, okay. Putting cigarettes, which obviously we're not endorsing cigarettes or beer I would never talk about enjoying beer on this show. That seems very irresistible.

[Co-host/Guest]

Any even a few.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've had a few.

[Luke Burbank]

A few what?

[Co-host/Guest]

Few small beers.

[Andrew Walsh]

But that hyper specialized athleticism that you talk about. Here's where I always think of it. And don't worry, we're not going to turn this into a whole sports show. But I do think about it in baseball when I think about pitchers trying to throw the ball to any place other than over home plate. Like with a pitcher trying to like throw the ball to first base to get an out there or something. And it's amazing how often they can't actually achieve that because. And you're like, wait, you throw for a living. Why can't you just throw to another part of the field? And the reason is because there's so. And then also the injury risk. Every time I see a pitcher running to first base to make a play in case the first baseman is off the base and they need to like kind of toss it to the pitcher who's going to cover first base, I get so worried because I'm like, you're not supposed to, you're not supposed to run like that.

[Co-host/Guest]

You're. Those muscles are not developed for that.

[Andrew Walsh]

You are all specialized into doing this very, very specific thing which is just add centimeters onto the, the movement of a pitch going over the plate to add spin rate. Yeah, exactly, right.

[Co-host/Guest]

To use a dark analogy, they're like those mythical like you know, Kentucky fried chickens that have been bred to where there's so much breast meat they can't support themselves on their own legs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dark.

[Co-host/Guest]

Now a less dark. They're like gibbons. And by that I mean two of the brothers in ZZ Top, their beards have been bred to such a degree that their entire face has disappeared.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but I'm with you on that. That like there's something about like the hyper specificity of the role of the athlete. I mean I think pitchers in baseball have gotta be the ult example of that. Right.

[Co-host/Guest]

I mean, I guess the only thing that would be maybe close to it would be a kicker in football. Although it's not like the, the kicker in football has. Oh by the way, just to close loop on Gibbons, they have evolved really long arms that they can't really. They don't make any sense on the ground. So when you see a monkey running and its arms are up like this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, it's a given because there are. It's not just celebrating hilarious. It's not just being awesome. I, the reason I didn't pause on the gibbons, thing is, I thought it was a joke. I didn't get or something and I just moved on.

[Co-host/Guest]

The monkeys that are gibbons, they are incredible moving from limb to limb of the trees because their hands are much stronger than their feet. They don't have tails and they have these very long. They've evolved these arms that are disproportionately long for their body, which makes them incredible in the tree canopy. And they can run on the ground, but there's nowhere to put their arms. They can't do like this. Their arms go way past their feet. So they run like this because there's

[Andrew Walsh]

literally straight up in the air.

[Co-host/Guest]

It keeps them balanced a little more. Or sometimes they just run with one arm up to keep their balance. But it's like they're.

[Andrew Walsh]

Never seen you wiggle so much. Luke is wiggling. I wish this was a tb You've

[Co-host/Guest]

never seen my, my, my famous and oft requested gibbon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Bring that back next week for the video. That is a lot of wiggling. Hold on.

[Co-host/Guest]

But you're right that I think Major league pitcher is the reason that the kicker I don't think is comparable is because it isn't like. It isn't like a kicker started out almost playing inside linebacker and then over time they decided to specialize and hyper focus on their leg muscles until they became Blair Walsh. Like Blair Walsh was never going to be. I'm using a modern kicking reference that does not have any emotional pain attached

[Andrew Walsh]

to it for our listeners in Minnesota.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, I was just trying to think of somebody who is manifestly diminutive in the sport of football. Like football kickers did not start off as the biggest strongest guy on the team. They were Myles Garrett and then they just got hyper specialized. Whereas a pitcher might have been the biggest strongest guy on the team. And then he just got so into the pitching that now he doesn't really hit unless he's Shohei Ohtani. He can't hit, he can't run the bases. He can't throw the ball effectively to any base that isn't home plate.

[Andrew Walsh]

Isn't that the weirdest thing?

[Co-host/Guest]

It's very, very strange because I feel like, and I'm an overestimator of my physical abilities even, even as I, as I, as I move into my 50s, solidly into my 50s now, I think I could throw the ball from the infield to first base better than Andre Gilbert. Fill in your Mariner's picture. It wasn't always that way, but I think at this point I'm More equipped to throw the ball to first than they are because I am not specialized in the way they are.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah. It's almost like they got too good at thing. It's almost sci fi esque. It is sci fi esque. When you hear about like the, the var and we've talked about on the show a little bit, what are like not the camps that they go to but the actual like kind of the

[Co-host/Guest]

labs call them camps.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's that? I don't mean. Well, baseball. I meant like baseball camps. But like you know like the, the, the, the laboratories that they go to where they work on their, their spin and everything like you talk about. And they're hooked up to like all these computers and God knows what's flowing through their veins.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah. What's the one? This is the, this has come up. It's called like Driveline or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah, that's the one. And is that at Washington State or, or.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, it's in, it's down, it's down south of Seattle. It's down in. Somewhere down south. And yeah, it's like, oh, I saw this new thing the other day on a guy doing this thing on TikTok that was actually so cool. I don't know if it's, if it's accurate or not. But what he basically did was so, you know, we've like, for some reason it seems like in the last month or so batting cage stuff has been coming up a lot for us. I don't know why but like you know when you're getting, when you're getting a pitch. Yeah, it's the summer. It's the summer of batting cage. When you're in a batting cage and that pitch is coming into you, let's say it's going to be the fastball pitch versus a softball pitch. It's. I don't know, it's kind of hard to pick up. Like I never. They have a little green light in there that indicates the pitch is about to happen. But I kind of still never really feel like I'm ready for it, et cetera. They've now built this thing, this crazy pitching machine that is, it's a. I mean it's basically like you would use in a batting cage except so much more high tech and it's got this digital screen. So whereas the old fashioned pitching machine that we will all be aware of, it's like there's kind of like a loose net and then like a hole in it and the ball's like come shooting out. This is like A screen that will have the actual physical picture that you're trying to, let's say. So you see the pitcher throw the ball, and then when their hand hits the point where it's throwing it, it shoots out of the hole. So you're seeing the release point, and it's like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it somewhat animated or is it more like video? Like, it's video realistic.

[Co-host/Guest]

Hyper realistic.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting.

[Co-host/Guest]

And you can make it any picture. And this guy's thing was. I'm sorry, I'm putting you on the spot. Because he also has a very. Although the last name is. Seems vaguely Polish. So maybe this will deepen your family memory. You'll remember. Who is the guy? Mizorowski.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, for the Brewers.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, for the Brewers. Mizaroski, who's just got, like, the nastiest stuff of all time. He's got that high fastball that no one can hit. So this dude on TikTok said, like, can I hit a home run off of Mizarowski in, like, 100 at bats?

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I just get some clarification here? So this is a. This is like a consumer. Like, this is. This is a cage that's. I don't know if you and I

[Co-host/Guest]

could go to or seems professional grade.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is for professionals. Okay. At one of the.

[Co-host/Guest]

It looks like the kind of thing they'd have at, like, this driveline baseball.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay.

[Co-host/Guest]

Type of deal where, like. Or let's just say this. If it's. If it's for the. If it's for consumers, if it's retail, it would have to be, like, $30,000. It would have to be, like, a ridiculous amount of money because it's a pitching machine. But the most complicated one I've ever seen, where he made it into Misarowski, it's really Missourowski, and it's really throwing 104 at the top of the zone. It's throwing all of Misarowski's pitches.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host/Guest]

It's not just throwing a fastball at 104 at the top of the zone. It's throwing whatever. Let's call it a cutter. Let's call it a. Whatever his three primary pitches are. And you can set it. So this thing is just throwing you the guy's actual repertoire.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my God.

[Co-host/Guest]

And it's him. It's an, like, not an animation. It's like a video of him. It's his height. It's his release point. It's doing his pitches.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well. The reason I know that this is not for consumers is because that would Be totally useless. It would just be dangerous in any situation other than professional MLB laboratory and

[Co-host/Guest]

you'd have too many people trying to have sex with the machine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is Mizorowski good looking? I can'. Remember. He's very young.

[Co-host/Guest]

I just mean generally leave people alone with some kind of a machine that has a hole in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not going to be good.

[Co-host/Guest]

Hey, there's one thing I've learned about human nature.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen folks, he doesn't make the rules, okay. He just calls them.

[Co-host/Guest]

He just deserve them. I just, I just, I. I'm just saying what I see. But anyway, it was, it was so. It was both so cool and also just so sort of like. I don't. I mean first of all, in a million years I would have never ever. I would never ever, ever stand in front of that machine pitching 104 miles an hour. It looks so crazy fast. But then the other thing that was a little bit unsatisfying and this guy was. This guy's a phenomenal baseball player. He's not a professional baseball player but he obviously played probably in college, maybe he was in the minors.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's.

[Co-host/Guest]

He's a very, very good hitter compared to any normal person. But then this same tracking device because he's still in. He's not in a baseball stadium. He's in a batting cage environment in like a warehouse. Right. So it's. There's still nets around him. He doesn't have like an unlimited. He's not on a real baseball field. So now these. The flip side of this crazy technology is it's throwing you these pitches showing you the real picture and presumably you can change it to anybody you want. And then it's also showing you on this other screen where your hit went.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

Tracking the exit velo the angle.

[Andrew Walsh]

So if you were at a. You could probably even dial up a specific park. Right.

[Co-host/Guest]

I bet you you could. I hadn't thought of that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Then it's like oh, would this go into.

[Co-host/Guest]

Out in what are the boxes? Fenway Crawford boxes. Yeah, that's. I hadn't thought about but I bet you're totally right. Now that kind of makes me want to get the machine.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh my God.

[Co-host/Guest]

And set it on. Set it on 15 miles per hour. Can I set it on right. Can I set it on off night George Kirby? Can I set it on Brian Wu on the road? Like but, but so then he can also sitting. He was saying like did you see that the mare's almost faced Marco Gonzalez?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh that's what I said. Vargas I meant Marco. God damn it. I always do.

[Co-host/Guest]

Came in on a game against.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? No, I didn't know that. I was just trying to think of, like, because he's. He doesn't throw. He doesn't throw.

[Co-host/Guest]

Jamie Moyer setting. Yeah, but. But, yeah. So then he's seeing. So he finally hits what the thing told him was a home run, but you couldn't. Like, it wasn't. It wasn't like he got to hit a majestic shot off of the miz. It just. He hit some kind of ball that went and hit the roof. Like, hit the inside roof netting on it. But he's, like, pointing at the screen. And to his credit, the guy goes, I don't care if that was the ugliest home run of all time. I'm taking it. And by the way, that was 70 at bats in or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wow. Yeah. You were asking me a few weeks ago about, like, what I. How. How many. Like, I think you said a hundred. Like, MLB speed pitches out of a machine. Could I hit any of them? I still don't.

[Co-host/Guest]

I still don't. I think I was saying against a real MLB hit.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, not a machine, but natural pitch.

[Co-host/Guest]

Not a machine. A pitcher.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

God, I'd be so Contact seven seventy.

[Andrew Walsh]

The first seventy. I'm just jumping out of the way every time. Like, even if it's right over the place. I'm so scared of the ball. And they say you're not supposed to be.

[Co-host/Guest]

I think I listen. I think of myself as a big, strong man. Here comes John Wayne. And when I saw these pictures coming

[Andrew Walsh]

in, I love my feelings.

[Co-host/Guest]

Go name an airport for me. Apropos of nothing. Apropoot of nothing. Right before the show, for some reason, I was watching this little clip, and it was Bob Odenkirk and David Cross talking about how they met. Somebody had asked them how they got started collaborating in comedy together. And I didn't realize this, but it was, I guess, towards the end of the Ben Stiller show's, like, run. David Cross was hired as a writer for one of the last, like, three shows. And he wrote Tjo Pootertoots.

[Andrew Walsh]

David Cross wrote it.

[Co-host/Guest]

And Bob Odenkirk said in this interview with David Cross sitting there, he said, and that was when I thought, oh, you were someone to pay attention to. So Bob Odenkirk. So we have Pjo Pootertooth to thank for the long and fruitful collaboration of those two. Because that sketch getting written by David Cross made Bob Odenkirk pay attention to oh, no kidding.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, because Bob was a big part of that show. He was also like. He was in the credits, right? I kind of forget about that. Bob wasn't just a writer for Ben Stiller, but he was actually in those.

[Co-host/Guest]

I think he was in the. I think he was right. I guess he maybe didn't act a ton. In fact, I don't think he's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think he was in like. I think he. I think.

[Co-host/Guest]

Oh, he is in that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I think him and Janine are in like. They're. They're like their main. Their main actors in that.

[Co-host/Guest]

Absolutely. He is. Bob Odenkirk's character in that is. He's the guy that likes working at TJ O Pootertoots too much. He's like, can you believe this is our job?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't remember that part.

[Co-host/Guest]

He's just like so excited about working there. And then Jeanine Garofalo is like a little bit sort of dubious. And then Ben Stiller is the guy who's fully like. He's the cult leader carrying on the cause. Remember the. The reveal is that there was a survivor of the Donner Party and it was TJ o' Puddin's face.

[Andrew Walsh]

I knew it had some darkness about it because the tape that we play always says. And a taste that is oddly familiar is what they always say about it.

[Co-host/Guest]

Actually. You know what? It has like. I know I refer everything back to this. It has real like under the eye of Kir energy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Uh huh.

[Co-host/Guest]

They like chase. They chase. Like they chase Jeanine Garofalo's character back into this alley. Like kind of weird back part of the restaurant where they start to get into the lore of TJ O Poutertoot and how he like. Well, David Cross swoops into the last moment with a mustache shaver. Which is kind of how you defeat them. Cause they all have these novelty mustaches. It's one of those kind of places.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's one of the. Boy that's a through line with Bob Odenkirk. He loves the worst looking fake facial hair possible in sketch comedy. Like you go back and watch any Mr. Show episode, you're gonna find one sketch where it's Bob and just like the worst mustache you can. He just thinks it's so damn funny to have really bad fake facial hair.

[Co-host/Guest]

Do you watch any of the. Did you watch. What was it? Nobody. His action movie?

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, I think Genevieve went to see that one. It just didn't hold any appeal to me.

[Co-host/Guest]

So Bob Odenkirk as action star is not. Is not something that is. I did see that. I want to say maybe was on a plane or who somewhere. I didn't see it in a movie theater, but I saw it somewhere, and I think I actually found it kind of. I thought it was a fun action. I probably was more likely to see it because it's Bob Odenkirk. I also do have kind of mixed feelings about the whole phenomenon of that, because now they've made two of them. And it's like, I love Bob Odenkirk's comedy a lot. I don't know if he also gets to be an action star. Well, I guess he does and he is. But there's something like. There's. It's. I don't want to compare the two because it's. It's not fair to Bob Odenkirk, who's done nothing wrong, but it's sort of like buff Jeff Bezos. It's like, no, no, no, no, no. That's not your lane. Your lane is you're the guy, you know, who was, you know, losing money on your business because you knew ultimately someday you would rule the world with it. And you're making desks out of old doors and you're shipping books, and you're. You're the kind of goofy guy with the kind of thinning hair who's the kind of the nerd. You don't also then turn into the like. Or maybe it's like Mark Zuckerberg being really into jiu jitsu. It just doesn't feel like, to me, it's like Bob Odenkirk is supposed to be the guy kind of making fun of the action stars, but he also wanted to be one, and he now is. And it almost feels like it's like he went from being on the. Whatever, the student newspaper to now he wants to captain the football team. And he also is. I guess it's almost a good story because it's, like, good that he got the chance, but it feels almost like he's selling out the comedy nerds of the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not like Jordan Peele is out there making horror films or something like that. Like, stay in your lane, right? That, to me, is.

[Co-host/Guest]

That's the point.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the biggest one for me, that it's just so funny that, like, Jordan Peele, I think future. This is an interesting thought experiment. I think it's interesting to me, and that's all I care about. Jordan Peele, future generations, meaning, let's even just say to the generation that's maybe being born right now. Right. And then about. So that means about 20 years from now when they're in college and they're like, kind of exploring, you know, film the way you and I got into older films and kind of expanded our filmography or whatever, as we were kind of coming of age or whatever. They hear about Jordan Peele. They are shocked to hear about Key and Peele in the comedy stuff. Right. They think of him first as, like, just like one of the biggest names in horror. Horror for our era.

[Co-host/Guest]

It's like if you found out that Alfred Hitchcock.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Co-host/Guest]

To be on Benny Hill and was funny and was actually funny. That is interesting. That.

[Andrew Walsh]

That.

[Co-host/Guest]

That's the. That. That. Yeah, definitely. The Key and Peel thing is so wild. Although here's what I will say. What is the. For just for you and I. What is our most oft quoted line from get out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I'd vote for Obama a third time if I could.

[Co-host/Guest]

Comedy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, exactly.

[Co-host/Guest]

I'm not saying the movie is. I think there's a. There's the sort of membrane between horror and comedy, particularly if it's done well. And I'm not a horror aficionado in any sense of the. Of the, you know, the word. I guess I don't know a lot about horror, but I do know that there are times where there's some kind of darkly funny moments and things like that. To me, it's like the thing. Here's what I think is weird about Bob Odenkirk going action heroes. He's also the action hero. Be one thing if he was like, oh, I'd always wanted to make a Die Hard style movie, but he's like. What he really was was like. He's like. And again, he's allowed to do this, and it actually makes perfect sense. He's like, I was always kind of the geeky guy with the thin hair who is kind of like in the comedy sketches. And now I want to be the kind of geeky guy with the thin hair, but who's actually in kind of really good shape. And I actually kick everyone's butt. And it's me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just. I don't. I don't think I have a problem just knowing that. I mean, there might. And you saw it. I did. And maybe there's some winks and nods in there. Like, for me, the whole Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, even before it evolved into Better Call Saul, the Breaking Bad use of Bob Odenkirk I thought was brilliant because the show is definitely Not a comedy. Right. It's a big tragedy. But there was so much humor in that character, but it didn't make the show a comedy. And then Better Call Saul is a continuation of that. And I would say that Saul is darker in a different way, but not darker as dark in a different way. Different way, but it's less grim. There's just something about the way it's shot, especially in the colors and the fact that Bob Odenkirk is the main lead. Like, it'll make you cry, it'll make you angry at times, but it is also very funny. And so that seems to be like, maybe the. Maybe the transition into Bob wanting to try these other projects. But, like, I'm just. I don't think that I didn't hear anything bad about them. I'm just not interested in him not being a little bit funny or having that, I don't know, extra nuance to the character.

[Co-host/Guest]

I think it. I think the reason why I find it mildly threatening was because. Is because if given the option, it's also what I would do. I'd be like, oh, but could I maybe. Could I also maybe be the. I'm 53. Could I be the star of the action movie? You know, it's like the version of me that many years ago when. Wait, wait, don't tell me. Sent a group email around the network saying, does anybody know of any people that would be good for the panel? And they were asking us of had we encountered people, like famous people or funny people. And I said, I'd love to do it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I'm looking at the man in the mirror.

[Co-host/Guest]

I'm asking him to start being on. Wait, Wait, don't tell me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. By the way, this isn't worth saying because I've said it before, and I don't think you've seen it yet. But that's another reason why I thought Weapons was such a good horror movie is because it's made by a comedy director.

[Co-host/Guest]

The Whitest Kids, you know?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so. Zach Kreger. I had to look it up because his name doesn't stick with me. I'm not somebody who followed his career the way I know other people have. But I really liked Weapons. And in fact, I'm somebody who really does not like horror at all. I don't like being scared like that. Like, I'm scared of everything else. Like, I don't need to, like, go spend two hours.

[Co-host/Guest]

You're getting your doctor's recommended servings of scaredness. Just fine. Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

And so But. But that movie, I actually rewatched it. Like, I landed on that at home one time playing cards with these. I'm like, oh, let's put weapons on again. Because watching it a second time kind of takes some of the suspense out of it because, you know, I've already seen it, and you can really just appreciate all. Again, it's not a funny movie. There are not laugh lines in. Although I will say, and I don't want to spoil anything, it's not necessarily. I don't know to what degree it's supposed to be funny, but when everything finally just breaks the f loose in that movie, I was so scared in my seat for so long. And then this sort of visually absurd is the wrong word, but I'll say visually absurd thing happens. I can't remember laughing so hard and maniacally in a theater. And I've seen Naked Gun, but it was a different kind of laughter than I've ever had in a movie before because it was almost like. Like all of my tension was just breaking. And you're just like, God, yes, this is the perfect. Like, you can really see how these guys with, like, comedic chops can then take, you know, take. Grab a handle of these horror themes and present you something that is way more interesting than someone who's just obsessed with horror.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, I need to see that. I. I mean, I know it's well after the fact and, like, you know, the. Oh, my gosh, I'm forgetting her name, but the woman who won the Oscar for her performance, Jeannie Madigan.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well done.

[Co-host/Guest]

Nice job. And, you know, like, when I saw the first trailer for it, I thought, oh, my God, this is a great premise. You have a class, a grade of kids that goes missing. And then I just didn't get to watch. And then it became so part of the culture. Just everyone running around with their hands in that weird backwards position, weapon style.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

But maybe now. Maybe now that nobody cares about my take on it, it's a perfect time for me to watch it and then tell you what I thought of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And also there's just. There's just enjoyable scenes. There are also some really brutal scenes. There are some really scary scenes and some really brutal scenes, but there are also just some, like, really enjoyable. Speaking of Mad. Speaking of Madigan. Exactly. It doesn't make you cry, though. That's the only difference. Hello and welcome. Welcome to Top Story.

[Co-host/Guest]

All right, this is a Top Story. The health and wellness of the TBT listeners rests upon us getting to this Top Story. Finally Andrew and when I saw the headline, I thought, like, this is gonna be, I don't know, just one of those kind of New York Post style stories. And by New York Post style story, I mean I saw it in the New York Post that like is a headline, but when you read into it, it's actually kind of not a real thing. And there's no reason to talk about it other than maybe to make some bathroom jokes. But no, actually there's something kind of to it. German companies smart toilet seat that can tell you if you have a heart problem. There is a company in Germany that is making toilets and basically smart toilet seats that can detect atrial fibrillation, also known as afib, the most common heart rhythm disorder. As reliably as what they are currently using as the conventional EKG test done in a medical office or hospital. This is, according to a study, by the way, AFIB is something that affects an estimated 12.1 million Americans. And one of the big problems with it is that a lot of people do not know that they have it. This is something that makes your heart beat slowly or irregularly or it's just, it's not a good condition to have, particularly if you don't know that you have it. The earlier they catch it, the more they can do for it. It's like a really, it's a really good thing to find out about in the early stages because then it doesn't have to get super duper bad. And this is, it's called the HARO EKG seat, A smart toilet seat integrated with EKG sensors similar to those used during the EKG tests. The Hamburger Heart study, which for a German study about heart problems seems a little on the nose. The Hamburger Heart study compared the toilet seat's accuracy in detecting AFIB with that of conventional medical EKG devices. Researchers found a high level of agreement between the toilet seats 6 lead EKG system and the ones that they use in the, you know, medical offices. The company also emphasized how simple the EKG seat is to use compared to a traditional ekg. Well, yes, one of them you sit down on multiple times a day in your home. The other you have to go to the hospital for or the doctors for. My question to you is, would you, I know you're not a bidet boy, I know you don't like that, but would you get one of these in your house? If these were being sold widely in America, would you put one of these on your toilet at your house? I know you don't like a lot of doodads and doohickeys. But it seems to me like a pretty good idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Seem like a high priority for me as far as electronics that I want to bring into my home. I suppose I don't feel like this is.

[Co-host/Guest]

How good is your stereo gonna do you when you're dead?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's the most rock and roll thing you've ever said to me. Here's my question for you. And I'm sorry that this is such a. This is just awful that I would bring this up here, but I'm so, I guess, mad at the New York Post. Now. I clicked on the link that you sent me, and this whole article is about this special toilet seat. The EKG fur the house, Zoo house. But then what do they show the cheap ass New York Post for the illustration of their article? They just show a plain. They just show a stock photo of a normal toilet. Did you notice that? It's just ridiculous. It says one German company, Smart Toilet seat, can detect arterial fibrillation. Fibrillation. Oh, by the way. So that's where you get the defibrillator, huh? I have trouble with that word.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, fibrillation must have to do with the. The rhythm of the heart.

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe, but I see if you scroll down enough, you get to see some.

[Co-host/Guest]

I know, but you're right.

[Andrew Walsh]

But, like, you don't have to just show us a picture of a toilet.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah. With, for some reason, two rolls of toilet paper next to it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Two roll says it all.

[Co-host/Guest]

Not like one roll and then an extra one in case you run out, but just fully two. Like, that's. I mean, to me, that's very judgmental of the people using that recipe. But also, you might need both barrels.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what, though? Is, like, you're in here by yourself. Like, we're just gonna offer you more tools than you need. But if you need them all, good for you. We're not gonna ask any questions. I actually think that maybe it's good.

[Co-host/Guest]

Also missed opportunity on the headline. I don't have a better headline, but from the people that brought you pro boner.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, sure.

[Co-host/Guest]

German company, Smart Toilet Seat, that can tell if you're having a heart problem. That's a little. That's a little stale for the New York Post.

[Andrew Walsh]

Clinical, isn't it?

[Co-host/Guest]

A little clinical. Thank you. That's the word for a newspaper.

[Andrew Walsh]

I got it before the headlines. How about heart shart. Instead of heart smart?

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, I like to know I got the job.

[Andrew Walsh]

I just wasn't sure if other people did. I don't know. That's right off the dome. I'm under pressure here. There's got to be some.

[Co-host/Guest]

No, that's really good and much better than the New York Post. And they had all they had, you know, presumably hours to think of this, I have to say, like, I know. I know that I'm always looking for a technological solution to everything and anything in my life, but when I saw this, I really thought, oh, I bought my bidet toilets too soon. I bought my bidet toilets before. They were also my heartbeat toilets or whatever, My afib toilets. I would love to have my toilet tell me if I was having atrial fibrillation, because I would like to deal with it. I would like to not have that be something that gets even worse for me. And it doesn't seem like you have to do anything. Well, you do, actually. There's an app on your phone or something, which kind of seems like a bit of a hassle. But I don't know. I think the more of these things, whether it's your Apple watch telling you about your heart rate or your aura ring or your toilet seat, I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Again, I'm a. Yeah, that's a good point. By the way. I'd be more likely to get. I don't even have one, but I'd be more likely to get some sort of a health watch or a ring. Even before I'd let my ass do the talking.

[Co-host/Guest]

It's just like, I guess you. Cause again, you're on the. I'm just. I'm just replaying the term let my ass do the talking in my own mind for a minute.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, just let it roll around in there a little bit. Don't rush.

[Co-host/Guest]

It's like, I just wonder, because I know you don't like bidets. Is it that you. You just. Anything. Any kind of anything going on with the toilet and the toilet seat. That is not the standard. What you grew up with is just something that just makes you kind of feel uncomfortable.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I mean. Well, I mean, just of all of the things that we've ever talked about, like, I'm so behind the times on all kinds of electronics. The idea that this would just bump itself to the top of my list of electronics. Then. I mean, I have a.

[Co-host/Guest]

Well, it's the one that could keep you alive.

[Andrew Walsh]

But, I mean, what else could keep me alive is like the $45 heart rate or the blood pressure monitor that my doctor told me to get that's been sitting in my bottom drawer in my bathroom for the past several.

[Co-host/Guest]

But didn't you get a good reading or something? The last time you did it, I did.

[Andrew Walsh]

I didn't know. That's why you're not using it anymore at the doctors. And I even, like, the last mile and a half or something from the train station to the doctor's office. I was worried that they would pick my heart rate up too much. But, yeah, I don't know. So, like, the idea of, like, me rejecting this, like, if I have all the money in the world, do I have this? Maybe. But, like, I just. Yeah, there is something about it. I'll tell you what. If in this world, I'm living in a home similar to mine now, or the exact home, like, yeah, I don't want, like, people coming in to use my bathroom and being like, what is. Why do you have heartbeat sensors on your toilet seat? I'm just like, I don't. Like, we have other ways of checking these things. I don't need it now.

[Co-host/Guest]

Let me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me tell you this. You build a defibrillator right into it. Now you're talking a different ball game. I see. It applies. It detects and it detects.

[Co-host/Guest]

It detects that you're having a problem and it shocks you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hit it clear. It detects and it affects my experience.

[Co-host/Guest]

Okay, I see. So in other words, you're like, don't tell me that I'm having afib and then don't do anything about it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Exactly.

[Co-host/Guest]

If you're going to present me with this information, you better also have the solution.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's where I'm.

[Co-host/Guest]

You know, you. I will say, like it. As listeners know, it absolutely kills me to give you credit on things on this program or even off this program.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you in advance. Because you're about to give me credit for something I am.

[Co-host/Guest]

Which is, you know, I've been a long time and a staunch proponent of that bidet lifestyle. You've kind of been like, that's not really. For me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I.

[Co-host/Guest]

Then when I redid this house with my dad, we redid two of the bathrooms, and I thought, well, I got to get a new toilet in there. Might as well have one with a bidet built in. I did that in both rooms. And what I did not think about was that people are uncomfortable using a toilet technology that they are not used to, particularly in other people's homes. I didn't consider the fact that it's like, because like you just said, if you have people over, you don't have to explain to them why there's a AFIB monitor in the Toilet seat? Yeah. I never thought about it from that perspective when I was putting these in. I just thought, well, a. I would like to have a bidet that I can use, which undiminished, by the way, I still use the bidet function whenever I go number two. And I very much glad that I have it. But it is something that people visitors, both frequent and infrequent to my house, know my house has the house that has the weird toilets in it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, let me ask you this. And listen. I understand the technology. Even though I've never used one. I understand the technology well enough to know that there should be no contact between your undercarriage and the device itself, but it is still basically sharing a butthole hose. And like, even if it, like. Let me ask you this. If you're at somebody else's house, have you. Have you used their bidets?

[Co-host/Guest]

I have not been to anyone else's house in a long time that has a bidet. The start of this whole thing for me was because early in the days of Carrie and I dating one of the bathrooms in her. She was renting a house along with a friend of hers named Jake. And I don't even know if this was built. I don't think it was even built into the toilet. I think it was a toto maybe bidet that sat on the. Somehow there was one in one of the bathrooms in that house. And it was amazing. I thought it was. And I used it. And I did not think it was gross because again, the wand is very far away from your nether regions. You're not. You really are. You're not sharing the same. You're not sharing the wand with someone any more than you're sharing. Certainly the toilet seat is a much closer experience with something else someone's been sitting on. And like, yeah, it's hard to explain other than to say you really are not. Neither of your nether regions are ever anywhere near where the water is being shot from. So it's not really. It's not unhygienic in that way. And I certainly was not put off by. In fact, I would like. This is a lot. I would sometimes be excited if I needed to go to the bathroom when I was visiting Carrie's house before we lived together, because I'd be like, oh, I can use that bidet toilet. That is so cool. So I was not put off by it. But you're right.

[Andrew Walsh]

And you would feel that way. And I think the answer here is yes. But just to be very clear, I do think a dating Relationship is different than just like, you know, like a casual. Like if you were to go over to, I don't know, like a buddy's house who.

[Co-host/Guest]

Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

You've, you know, only hung out with maybe four or five times, you know him well enough or whatever. But he's got a bidet and you're using that thing.

[Co-host/Guest]

Absolutely. Because I don't see it as anything overly personal or sexual. Like. Or like. I don't.

[Andrew Walsh]

By the way, I did not bring sex into this, for the record.

[Co-host/Guest]

Well, you said if it was my girlfriend, it's one thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh. Oh, no, but that's not about. No, no. That. That's. I just mean gay. You have an into. You have an intimate.

[Stephanie]

It.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's. It's an intimacy thing, not a sexual thing. But, yes.

[Co-host/Guest]

Right. I. I just am. I wouldn't have any problem. I would use it. I would use the bidet at your neighbor across the street who keeps tearing the signs down's house.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? I didn't even know he had one. I think he had one. I keep tearing it out.

[Co-host/Guest]

No, I think he just goes. He goes, like, down to the basement and he just, like, knocks over where the water comes into the house and it shoots a geyser. He sits on it like a cartoon,

[Andrew Walsh]

just levitates above it with his Pittsburgh toilet. Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Co-host/Guest]

Emails or females.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. I think I'm going to give you a little choice here, Luke. So I have this folder of very old voicemails, and I was saving them in case I wanted to put together one of those voicemail montages that I do sometime, but I haven't done that. And now that you know, they're just getting further and further away from whatever reality prompted them. So I have one person here who wants to talk about your eye. I don't know what's going on with your eye. I don't know.

[Co-host/Guest]

When I was having my shallaz aid.

[Andrew Walsh]

I feel like that this. That seems even older. Well, let's just go with this one. Let's. Let's find out. So this is our. Our pal Stephanie in Portland. I believe, if I have the right Stephanie here. There's probably not more than one person named Stephanie. And it says, time banditing Luke's eye. Let's see what this is all about.

[Co-host/Guest]

That's how this whole thing started.

[Stephanie]

I am so excited. I'm time banditting. And I am. I'm In Luke's eye sty saga moment. And the episode that I finally got into is the one where he finally has the operation. However, I have to stop listening because now my alone time is done. I have a toddler, you know, and all this stuff. Although maybe later I can play it it with him too. But anyways, the point is that I have to go do stuff. But I'm so, so, so excited. The build up, the anticipation. This is wonderful content. Thank you for making me happy and keeping me company.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like the ultimate doctor Pimple popper, what you've got there.

[Co-host/Guest]

It was a. Well, I don't know. Am I, let's see. I guess I'm not ruining. Am I ruining it for Stephanie. Although maybe Stephanie's still listening back in the.

[Andrew Walsh]

She left that voicemail months ago and she was listening to episodes from months before that.

[Co-host/Guest]

I'm happy to say Stephanie. And for anybody who missed the resolution of that, that it's all fine now after it took two different like surgical interventions with it where the guy had to go and cut it open and squeeze it, you know, squeeze out what was going on inside there. And I will tell you this, what was kind of actually is useful, the right word. What was a nice bit of perspective about that is I am a person who does not like their physical appearance very much. Particularly times when I'm gonna be like on stage in front of a bunch of people or maybe on a TV camera and like I will sometimes be about to go out on a shoot for CBS and I'm like brushing my hair or my teeth or I don't know, getting ready to go and I'm just like, ugh, this stupid face. But then I remember the time when it was this stupid face and a massive of plum sized protrusion from my eyelid. Like when I was interviewing Nikki Glaser, who is a conventionally quite attractive person. And I'm just like got this issue going on with my eyes. It actually makes me feel a little less bad about myself in this era. I'm like, okay, whatever, it's not great. But guess what? It isn't. It isn't. I don't have a giant massive chalisade protruding in one of my eyelids. And then that kind of makes me feel a little better. So. So I guess by comparison, you know, I'm feeling okay about things. So that's. That's a gift that that whole about six months of my life has given me.

[Andrew Walsh]

What about cardi P? I'm still trying. I'm still trying to think of headlines because for. For the heart Shark.

[Co-host/Guest]

Cardio.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, like cardio. But that's. We're not talking about peeing. We're talking about.

[Co-host/Guest]

You mean the headline for the New York Post?

[Andrew Walsh]

We want a New York Post style headline for this toilet seat. And I was thinking maybe cardi pee, but because it's a toilet, you pee into a toilet. But the whole thing is you have to sit on this so you can sit and pee, though.

[Co-host/Guest]

Oh, I do. Every time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you do do that now, right? You. George Costanza, it. Is that what George Costanza does?

[Co-host/Guest]

I've been doing that for years.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, maybe. Maybe I'm thinking of your thing. He does something where he takes off his shirt when he goes number two, I think. Oh, I remember that too. Isn't that

[Co-host/Guest]

what. But that's not the episode where he's trying to take the book back that he took into the bathroom of Brentano's.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think so. Maybe it is. I don't know. I kind of. I'm not like an ex. I. I watched a lot of the Seinfelds when they were just, like, you know, current. But, like, I'm not like one of those people who's rewatched them so many times that I have an encyclopedic remember or memory of it.

[Co-host/Guest]

I don't feel like I think this has come up on the show before and we should probably get on out of here. But, like, I don't feel like for me, Seinfeld does not hold up the way an old episode of, like, the Simpsons does or an old episode of 30 Rock. And I know 30 Rock and Seinfeld were not in the same era, but, like, Seinfeld was such a vibe, and that was the vibe was, we are all in for these characters and for these jokes. But. But I think looking like, what's one of the, like, you know, the most famous Seinfeld episode of all time might be the Wager, right? Where it's like this contest of who can avoid masturbation the longest. And. And I bet you. Or like the puffy shirt or like, you know, think about some of the, like, iconic Seinfeld episodes. I think if you go back and you watch them in this day and age, I don't think they're as funny as. They don't hold up as much as. As other things like that. And I think it's because there was this sort of. I don't want to say delusion, because delusion makes it sound like there was no humor there. But there was this collective mania around Seinfeld that I was part of that it was like you watched an episode of Seinfeld, and it was the funniest thing you'd ever seen in your life. And you went to school the next day and you talked about it, but actually looking back on it, it's like, okay, it's like a contest where everyone's trying to not masturbate.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think it was very of the time. So I actually have gone back more recently now. Again, not, like, not starting in a certain episode and trying to watch them all or anything, but, like, when we were in Cleveland, I don't know why, but a couple of nights you guys had gone to bed, and I was up late doing my puttering, and I just wanted something to watch so I didn't have to think about things. And so I put on a Seinfeld. I think it was one of the few streaming services that I could log into without waking Genevieve up to get the two factor authentication or whatever. And so I'm just like, find myself kind of in this Seinfeld hole. And I was watching some episodes. First of all, for me, you should

[Co-host/Guest]

have asked Mark Wahlberg.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is a little bit more.

[Co-host/Guest]

You guys are up at the same time.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because why?

[Co-host/Guest]

Oh, we made a joke about the fact that you're up when Mark Walgreens.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's right. Oh, that's right. His schedule. Right, exactly. But I didn't. So, anyway, I ended up watching some signs Fellows. First of all, the. The comedy is a little bit edgier, too. It is that Larry David, like, uncomfortable humor a little bit. It's not, you know, to the. To the peak that it is in the Arrested Development or Not Arrest Development, 30 Rock, Larry David Show. God, I always curb your enthusiasm is such a. It's so cringy. Right? But Seinfeld has its fair share of cringe. And, like, a couple times I did have to just turn it off. I think it's just, like, very much of the moment. And maybe 30 Rock is obviously of its moment as well, but it doesn't seem like it hinges on being of the moment. And also, it was such a slow burn where Seinfeld was so popular. It was like the language of the day. Like, everybody just spoke in Seinfeldisms. And I'm just kind of reiterating what you're saying, that it's just kind of like. I don't think it's unfunny. I will say that Jerry's inability to act does not get glossed over as easily in 2026 as it did back then. We were just all bought in on. And now watching, you're just like, wow, man. Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

I feel like we're saying kind of similar things.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I think so. I'm kind of backing you up. I'm sort of processing it.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, yeah. Like. Because if you think about the part of it is that so much of the humor was hanging on kind of like, you know, Kramer's over the topness or like, I don't know, just like the way that one of the characters delivered a line kind of made it. Made it. It was less maybe that the, like in 30 Rock, it's like when someone says something to me anyway, it's like the comedy, it speaks for itself. It's self evident. It's like it's a really well written joke that is based on. It's. I'm forgetting how the, like the, the, the. The. The episode where it's like they're in a con. I think it's called the contest right there, where they're somehow a contest between all of them about not masturbating. I forget. I think it's. I'm out is maybe how the person indicates that they've then that they have masturbated. Like, there's something where it's like, you know, the acknowledgement that, like, okay, I ended up, you know, slipping up and masturbating or whatever was. Whatever however it was that the people indicated, you know, it was like, I'm

[Andrew Walsh]

king of the castle. Still haven't. That was one that got into the public kind of vernacular, public imagination. Like, it meant that they were still in the game. They had not given up. Still king of the castle. Muscle.

[Co-host/Guest]

Right, okay. Or like, here I'll get. I'll give a better example. Potentially like the, The Soup Nazi. The Soup Nazi. No soup for you. He's very. He's a guy serving soup, which, you know, I'd be into. He's being very stern about the rules of. Of like, who can get what soup and da, da, da. It's like, that's just. That's based on. There was a real guy in New York City who had a soup place, and I guess he was, you know, kind of bossy with the customer. But, like, that's as far as the comedy goes. People walking around America for years yelling, no soup for you. Like, that's just not like, that would never, ever make its way onto 30 Rock or Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt or Arrested Development. It would Never make it onto one of what I consider prestige comedy shows because you would need to take it somewhere else more than just he's a guy who's kind of rude to the people getting his soup.

[Andrew Walsh]

Although I wouldn't be so quick to forgive Kimmy Schmidt. I think Kimmy Schmidt is going to seem very much of its time when it comes to like there. It's a very Tina Fey way of like going after like woke culture on campuses and stuff. Some of that stuff was so cringe in the moment and it's just gonna, it just seems very much like.

[Co-host/Guest]

I don't know, man. I was watching it the other day and I was laughing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean I'm not, I'm not deriding the whole show, but I'm just saying that it is not escaping the trap of, of being in the moment. I would say.

[Co-host/Guest]

Yeah, that to me is separate from comedy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like they have a laugh about the, they have a whole plot about the Washington R Words and like it's this whole long like multi episode plot about. Not Jenna Marie.

[Co-host/Guest]

You're getting into taste ver comedy.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I'm talking about timelessness. I'm talking about what will like the, the whole thing about the Washington R words in Kimmy Schmidt will see. It seems dated today and it's only about 10 years old. Like.

[Co-host/Guest]

Well, I guess my point isn't that 30 Rock is timeless. My point is that 30 Rock is still funny. Like, and that's, that's. And I don't think Seinfeld is that funny. Like, I don't know about timeless. To me, timelessness and being funny are not connected as tightly as maybe they are for you or what you're describing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I guess my argument about Seinfeld was it was of its time very much. And when you watch it, you feel the time around it so much and it's dependent on the era in which it was in. And I would say that something like 30 Rock, one of the reasons it survives as well is because it's not linked to the very specific, you know, things. Not that it was. I mean, listen, there were plenty of references in 30 rock that had to do with the George W. Bush administration and everything. But like it doesn't, it just doesn't feel as dependent on it, I guess

[Co-host/Guest]

with me, with Kimmy Schmidt. I mean I just was recently watching multiple seasons of it. Like whatever that sort of tangent into that thing was, which I guess I wasn't watching the season that was on that to me, like, you know, there just seems, I don't know why I'm not. Wouldn't want to end the show with me defending Kimmy Schmidt. Other than that, to me, does not make Kimmy Schmidt feel especially rooted in a particular moment. I think that has more to do with maybe our. You and I's diverging sense of politics on certain things than anything as far as how I perceive that show and how you perceive it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I would disagree with that. I don't think it has to do with. Because I'm in line with what they're saying about the Washington team. Like, I'm totally on board with that.

[Co-host/Guest]

I thought, okay, well, there you go.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, it's about Jenna, like, standing up for and like, trying to get them to change the name and everything. This isn't about my politics personally. It's about.

[Co-host/Guest]

I see.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then. And then the stuff on campus is just. It's just so cringy. The woman, the young woman who plays like. Like, I guess her. Whatever. The young. The college age daughter in that show or whatever. It's just like.

[Co-host/Guest]

It's like nanny for something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Something. Yeah, it's somebody's daughter in. Yeah, yeah. I think it's the nanny situation. And it's just like, it's a little bit of that Sopranos problem with like, the hiring of young talent and stuff. And again, now you've got me, like, kind of saying that Kimmy Schmidt is bad. Like, there's so much I liked about Kimmy Schmidt. I just wouldn't put it in the same category as 30 Rock. I think it's way more flawed. Way more flawed. Flawed in some places.

[Co-host/Guest]

I agree with you with that. And now that you're saying that, I'm remembering all the kind of like, stuff about whatever. You know, her name is not Jenna on the show.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I know that's my. What I called her Jenna Maroney, too.

[Co-host/Guest]

But like Jane Krakowski's character and there's that whole subplot of her actually being Native American and that's like a pretty just kind of weird, boring thing that does go on where she's off on the. You know, reconnecting with her with her family who kind of don't really have a particular. Or they're kind of over her at that point. You're right. That's definitely like. That's not their strongest work. I think I mostly just like Titus so much.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Co-host/Guest]

I just think I like outside bones so much that I. Yeah, yeah, I forgot.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm eliminating. Speaking of being of a time, remember, he goes. He lemonades. He does the whole Beyonce lemonade thing, I think it's one of the most. Probably one of the more iconic moments in the show is like, he's. Remember the big lemonade? It's lemonade, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. The Beyonce thing where she's, like, got a baseball bat walking down the street. That was so huge when they were making the show. Show that Titus has whole. I think it's called Titus Lemonades, or Titus is lemonading or something like that. And he Basically, the whole episode is sort of a parody of that video. And you really get. I mean, he's. And again, that is something that is very tied to the moment, but I also think is just really, really well done.

[Co-host/Guest]

So I've been so obsessed with that character that, like, I remember I've gone back. I didn't go back specifically to do this, but, you know, he started out on 30 Rock. He was in that reality show that Tracy Jordan's wife is in called Queen of Sheba, I think, where they're shooting that. And his name is, I believe, Defwan. I mean, he's a character kind of similar to Titus, and he has some kind of a wine brand that's woven into the reality show. And he says, please. It's called define, I think. And he says, like, please define desponsibly or something like that. He has sideline in that it might be one of the funniest lines in the history of 30 Rock. And it's the guy who goes on

[Andrew Walsh]

to play Titus anyway, by the way, we got there. It's cardiovascular technology.

[Co-host/Guest]

Hey, how about that Timeless comedy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Now, the thing is, that's.

[Co-host/Guest]

And can that be the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I use it as a show title? Or is it too.

[Co-host/Guest]

You can.

[Andrew Walsh]

You don't think it's too pg?

[Co-host/Guest]

I think no, I think. I think. No, I love. Gosh. The thing is, Andrew, we have no identifying your plan B. When this podcasting train comes to a stop for us, which is New York Post headline writer, they would. I mean, anyone there would be proud to come up with cardio.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what?

[Luke Burbank]

Cardio.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I just start doing it on spec and sending them in until they hire me?

[Co-host/Guest]

Please do. Oh, that's good, man. That's really good. Okay, thanks for listening, everybody. We're gonna be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for all of you, so join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no Mountain Too Tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.