#1018: Extremely Sad and Incredibly Crappy, Gary Busey's Stuff

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #1018 – "Extremely Sad and Incredibly Crappy, Gary Busey's Stuff"

In Episode #1018 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Jen Andrews navigate a blend of personal anecdotes, media critiques, and listener interactions. Released on February 16, 2012, the episode offers a candid and humorous exploration of various topics ranging from milestone celebrations to film reviews and social media upheavals.

---

1. Celebrating the 1000th Episode

The episode opens with hosts discussing the impending 1000th episode milestone scheduled for the Neptune Theatre.

• Luke Burbank [02:16]: “We are walking distance from Jen's place. That was the idea. And it is actually going to apparently get icier and snowier in the next couple of days.”

• Jen Andrews [02:16]: “That's the good news, is that we know that on Saturday night, we're gonna be so happy we did it.”

They reflect on the journey leading up to this significant event, emphasizing the camaraderie and the excitement despite the mounting stress.

---

2. Personal Stress and Show Preparations

Jen shares her concerns about the upcoming milestone, reflecting on personal stress and the impact it has on her interactions.

• Jen Andrews [02:35]: “I'm heading into a really, really stressful week and I want you to know that if I'm cruel or in any way not loving, I don't mean it.”

Luke humorously adds that he might be “on some other planet” due to the stress, highlighting the relatable nature of managing personal well-being amidst professional commitments.

---

3. Movie Review: War Horse

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Jen’s vehement critique of the film War Horse.

• Jen Andrews [10:15]: “As someone who's just in here, this was a little movie called War Horse. War Horse is a terrible movie and I'm just gonna granny up on it right now.”

Jen elaborates on the film’s technical shortcomings and distressing depictions of war, expressing her emotional response to certain scenes.

• Jen Andrews [11:12]: “I just had to get out right now. You can stay. I said to Jason, but I am leaving.”

Luke attempts light-hearted banter, complimenting Jen’s ability to articulate her displeasure humorously.

---

4. Critique of the Golden Globes

The hosts delve into a detailed discussion about the recent Golden Globes, focusing on Ricky Gervais's hosting style and the award choices.

• Jen Andrews [15:03]: “I thought they were very boring. I was kind of scratching my head the whole time.”

• Luke Burbank [16:45]: “Is it possible that we as a nation have collectively, without even talking to each other, just said, oh, yeah, no, I'm not into that anymore?”

They express disappointment over what they perceive as overindulgent and patronizing moments, particularly criticizing the racial representation and the authenticity of humor.

---

5. MySpace Layoffs

Shifting to tech news, Luke discusses the surprising layoffs at MySpace, highlighting the company's reduced workforce amidst changing social media landscapes.

• Luke Burbank [49:15]: “Another thing that was surprising to me was that MySpace is owned by News Corp by Rupert Murdoch. And I had forgotten that at some point MySpace was acquired.”

Jen reflects on MySpace’s evolution, acknowledging its role as a platform for bands despite declining social interactions.

• Jen Andrews [51:00]: “I still think MySpace is the best place to go hear a new album or see where a band is playing.”

---

6. Phoenix Jones: Seattle’s Vigilante Superhero

The hosts examine the story of Phoenix Jones, a self-proclaimed superhero in Seattle, discussing the implications of amateur vigilantism.

• Luke Burbank [59:05]: “The case of Phoenix Jones, the Guardian of Seattle... someone else involved in the scuffle decided that he would pull a gun on Phoenix Jones.”

• Jen Andrews [61:24]: “I think the thing that I think everybody is rightly concerned about is there's nothing super about these people. They're, you know, they're gonna get hurt like this guy did.”

They ponder the romanticization of vigilantism and express concerns over the safety and effectiveness of such endeavors.

---

7. Listener Interactions: Courthouse Weddings and Hoarding

Addressing listener emails, the hosts offer advice on attending courthouse weddings and discuss societal trends related to hoarding.

• Listener Aaron [65:19]: “Do not go. He says, I speak from experience on the subject because my wife Mairead and I were married in the Bellevue courthouse.”

Jen and Luke reflect on the practicality versus the sentimental value of such ceremonies.

• Jen Andrews [70:21]: “I feel like now in 10 years there's going to be a new show about, you know, my house is bare and I have nothing.”

They discuss the balance between minimalism and the desire to preserve memories, touching on how cultural shifts impact personal behaviors.

---

8. Final Remarks and Sponsorship

Concluding the episode, the hosts encourage listeners to attend the milestone show, sponsored by Chateau St. Michel, and sign off with their signature closing remarks.

• Luke Burbank [75:11]: “Chateau San Michel, the official wine sponsor of TBTL. Because if there's one thing we're official about, it is our wine.”

Jen and Luke wrap up the episode with humor and a sense of anticipation for their next gathering.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

1. Jen Andrews [10:15]: “War Horse is a terrible movie and I'm just gonna granny up on it right now.”
2. Jen Andrews [15:03]: “I thought they were very boring. I was kind of scratching my head the whole time.”
3. Luke Burbank [49:15]: “Another thing that was surprising to me was that MySpace is owned by News Corp by Rupert Murdoch.”
4. Luke Burbank [59:05]: “The case of Phoenix Jones, the Guardian of Seattle... someone else involved in the scuffle decided that he would pull a gun on Phoenix Jones.”
5. Jen Andrews [70:21]: “I feel like now in 10 years there's going to be a new show about, you know, my house is bare and I have nothing.”

---

Conclusion

Episode #1018 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live serves as a microcosm of the hosts' dynamic interplay between personal stories, media critiques, and engaging listener interactions. Through humor and candidness, Luke and Jen navigate the complexities of reaching a significant podcast milestone while dissecting contemporary cultural phenomena.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

You have been told to follow your dreams. But what if it's a stupid dream? For instance, Stephen Colbert of 25 years.

[Jen Andrews]

Ago lived at 2015 North Ridge with two men and three women in what.

[Luke Burbank]

I now know was a brothel. He dreamed of living alone, well alone, with his beard, in a large, barren loft apartment, lots of blond wood, wearing a kimono with a futon on the floor, and a samovar of tea constantly bubbling in the background, doing Shakespeare in the street for homeless people from the comfortable confines of Oscars Lounge at the base of Queen Anne Hill here in Seattle. This. It's a Monday afternoon edition of tbtl. My name is Luke Burbank. Right over there is Jen Andrews. Jen, are you already feeling like. I am slightly embarrassed to be talking into this tiny tape recorder in an otherwise empty restaurant. It's only a matter of time before the bar staff comes over and asks us if everything's okay.

[Jen Andrews]

I'm not. All I can think about is Saturday night, so I'm kind of immune to other worries.

[Luke Burbank]

Now, the reason we're at Oscars today is because it is very snowy here in Seattle, and we were worried. Although it turns out that in between the time when we met, made the plan to meet up here and when we actually met up here, all of the snow evaporated.

[Jen Andrews]

Right. But I'm glad that we actually stuck with our plan, because usually we then start trying to, you know, fix it and change it. I'm proud of us.

[Luke Burbank]

So we are walking distance from Jen's place. That was the idea. And it is actually going to apparently get icier and snowier in the next couple of days. So we'll figure this stuff out one way or the other. As Jen mentioned already, we've got kind of one thing and one thing only on our mind, and that would be the TBTL 1000th episode, which is coming up this Saturday night at the Neptune Theatre. There are still tickets available. And we both looked at each other when we sat down here. Jen with that look that says, why on earth do we continue to agree to this kind of ridiculous stuff?

[Jen Andrews]

But actually, we've learned now that we beat ourselves the whole week leading up to it. And then the event is so much fun that I think it's like what people always say about having a baby. You know, you forget the pain that led up to it, which I think is how we keep finding ourselves here. But that's the good news, is that we know that on Saturday night, we're gonna be so happy we did it.

[Luke Burbank]

What was the speech that you gave to Jason today.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, I said I'm heading into a really, really stressful week and I want you to know that if I'm cruel or in any way not loving, I don't mean it. And I'll make it all up to you next week.

[Luke Burbank]

That's good. I'd like to also put that I'm gonna use this podcast as that disclaimer to anybody who knows me IRL that I'm also going to be pretty much, you know, on some other planet. So you actually brought the TBTL diary with you today?

[Jen Andrews]

Oh yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

This is for the purposes of our planning of the 1000 because after we get done with this conversation, we're going to, we're going to have a. We're going to have a little meeting about the 1000th show. Yet another meeting. What kind of stuff is in the TBTL diary?

[Jen Andrews]

This is the book that I've brought to every meeting we've ever had about the show. And so it's just all sorts of ideas that we've had, trivia contests that we've had, names we had for the show. I have a bunch of ads that I wrote because we had to do promos to tell people what TBTL was on the first week. And so I wrote a bunch of ads. Do you remember that? It was like right when Britney Spears little sister was pregnant. And so you talked about how the show would be a guidebook for Jamie Lynn Spears. Cause you too had gone through a teenage pregnancy. That was like one of our ads.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just look at this? This has promos and this is some piece of paper. It's typed up. I'm Luke Burbank. I have a new show starting here on 710 Cairo. I may not have the latest vote tally out of Olympia, but I will tell a story that involves. Oh, and then I was gonna just come up with a joke to put in there. Probably poop generally. My name is Luke Burbank and here are some reasons to listen to my new show here on 710 Cairo. I'm a graduate of Nathan Hale High and the you. So you'll be supporting the hometown kid. I left my job in New York to come do this show proving you can go home again. Plus I've worked at both Dick's Drive in and Sunset bowl, so I'll probably know every one of you. That was a little wordy.

[Jen Andrews]

Uh huh. I don't think that one got used.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm Luke Burbank and I'm starting a new show here on 710 Cairo this Monday night. I'm nervous, but my neighbor and my mom have promised to listen, so that's good. Oh, my God. We've done this almost a thousand times.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. Can you. Oh, by the way, to all the people who keep emailing me and saying that I shouldn't be counting best doves, I don't understand your point. Let me just say something to you. The point is that we're having a party, and we lasted this long. The actual count of the shows. You're off in the weeds. Get back to the party. Like we're having a party. We're doing a big show for you. The appropriate response is thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

And not even the weeds. As Emeril Lagasse said on this week's Top Chef, they're in the trees during restaurant wars. That's so much worse than the weeds. Just think about how the enormity of being in the trees.

[Jen Andrews]

I know. Exactly. Well, the Dowager Countess on. On Downton Abbey, she says, be careful. You're sailing precariously close to the wind. I like that one, too.

[Luke Burbank]

You are. If you email Jen beefing about that, what number show are we on?

[Jen Andrews]

Today is996, and I have no problem saying that. And so, as I have just said, I'm stressed out this week. I probably will be doing a lot of snapping at Jason. Like, I'm not listening to you right now because I'm worrying about the show. That'll be kind of what I say a lot. So this is definitely not a good week to email me that you think my count is off.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

This Saturday is a thousand show, and I don't care what happens between now and then.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

And I don't want to hear about the count anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

We could do 200 shows before set. We could do negative 200 shows. It's still going to be the 1000th show, come hell or high water, as God is Jen's witness. Speaking of the 1000th show, what are the things right now? Jen, just because we're this kind of show, what are the things that make you the most nervous right now? I might have asked you some version of this question last week, but I'm just curious. I want to check back in with you.

[Jen Andrews]

Okay. Well, there's the personal issues, like, that I would gain £50 and have a horrible outbreak of acne.

[Luke Burbank]

I decided to do that in the two months preceding the show. So now if that's sort of like that's just that ship, that Japanese floating whatever has just been pushed out into the air. I went with a combination of those fireballs, those bodzuckis, and the thing in Captain's Courageous when they're throwing wreaths into the water to go out for the dead sailors, Spencer Tracy being one of them. So that's why that got a little weird.

[Jen Andrews]

So that's like. There's this personal stuff you worry about, and then there's the actual show stuff. And I'm very worried about, like, the mics in the audience not working and that I won't be able to hear.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. You know what that is. Okay. That's a good. It's actually a good reminder. Andrew, take a memo. We've got producer Andrew here, too. Hi. Hey. We should mic the audience, because haven't we. We done that? I know we didn't do. Yeah. And it was. I mean, I'm not saying it was great being there, but it wasn't as bad as it sounded on the recording.

[Jen Andrews]

Not every joke fell flat.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, just most of the ones that Eugene Mirman did. That was it. Cause he was very drunk. So. Okay. Yeah, we gotta mic the audience on this thing. What else has you nervous?

[Jen Andrews]

I'm a little bit nervous about time checks. I mean, not time checks, but actually following a clock. We haven't done that in a really long time. And the show has just become this thing where we talk about something as long as we want to, and if we're having a good time, we stick with it. So having to hit marks, having to hit traffic. I'm worried about there being some sort of actual national event going on, and we have to. And we get cut off in the middle of the. You know, things like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, if we were to get cut off for national news, we'll just keep doing the fake show from the theater so at least the people who were there will get to hear it.

[Jen Andrews]

Oh, that's another thing. Worrying that the show doesn't get taped so there's no podcast to put up. That's another worry I have.

[Luke Burbank]

That's legit. It will probably be on. What's that? There's a thing that records everything that happens on the radio station. Do you know about this, Andrea? Yeah, we got that covered. I know how to. I can get any archive you need. But isn't there like a. There's a. There's a machine. There's a robot that lives in the basement of the radio station that. No joke at the very. Like, no matter what happens if all the other systems break down, there's something that records everything on the station.

[Jen Andrews]

Did you just notice how conf. Have you ever heard Andrew sound that confident in your life? I've got it covered.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but that's why. Let's not jinx it. This is a whole new Andrew. This is post New Hampshire Andrew. Okay? So I feel fairly certain the show will be recorded now. It may be the thing that we'll wish the show wasn't recorded. See, there's so many fears not recording it. Ultimately recording it. Exactly. I just want to say. I'm gonna say this on Saturday night when everybody's there, but I just want to, like, let everybody know. This is three hours long. We have to do three hours. And so it's okay to get up and get a drink. It's okay to talk amongst your friends a little bit in a respectful way. Are you. Ooh, your eyes just got wide.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, we're micing the audience so they actually can't talk during the show, but there's gonna be a commercial break every 15 minutes, and then they can talk away.

[Luke Burbank]

But you can laugh and cheer and seem excited. No, I mean, really, like, please.

[Jen Andrews]

They can interact with us. They just can't interact with each other unless it's to be like, that was hilarious.

[Luke Burbank]

Right? That and that. Only someone will yell that tomorrow night within the first 20 seconds as a sort of callback to the show this week. Okay. So anyway, we've got the thousandth show on our mind. We are in a borderline snowpocalypse here, which in a few minutes, we'll play you a show that we did a while ago when we decided, Jen, this was your idea. You just said, you know, people sometimes say, like, hey, man, I just took a mental health day. You know, you came up with a different. I think a way cooler version of that.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, it's called the snow day. So we'll kind of walk you through all the steps. You need to have a TBTL snow day.

[Luke Burbank]

And this, if you're in the Seattle area anyway, or in the Cordova, Alaska region, you may have a real snow day on your hands. And so this will be tremendously useful information in the next couple of days. And then there was some. You had some granny time that was just burning a hole in your bonnet.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

As you know, I tried to make that work with a granny kind of reference to. I know that's not traditionally how that goes.

[Jen Andrews]

As you know, I have a long and proud tradition of walking out of movies if I don't like them. I like to stand up and say, I reject you. And then I leave well, it happened on Friday night right here on this block at the Siff Theater. It's a little movie called War Horse. War Horse is a terrible movie and I'm just gonna granny up on it right now. Let me just talk to you about this movie for one minute, please. The first part of it is some kind of horrific throwback to the 60s Technicolor. The movies they made where they tried to make it seem like they were outside, but they were in a soundstage and it was all like, la, la la, la la la la. And then you're like coming along the field and then a duck comes out. Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack. Pa thought you were gonna buy me a thoroughbred. I got you stallion instead. Oh, Pa. Quack, quack, quack, quack. Like it's like that. So you're just sitting there going, well, this is corny and dumb, but it's not.

[Luke Burbank]

Although if there was a movie where that stuff happened, I would be tempted to watch it because that's as riveted as I've been by anything you've said in our 996 times together, Jennifer.

[Jen Andrews]

So at first it was just corny and dumb, but not offensive. But then World War I starts and all of a sudden it's like the worst violence towards animals I've ever seen in my life. These awful scenes of war that are just gratuitous and horrible. Like forcing this 18 year old boy to shoot cowards. If anybody tries to retreat, shoot him. And he's crying and they're like, shoot cowards. And I'm like, well, clearly he is a little scared himself. Anyway. So gratuitous and so awful. And then all of a sudden they showed this gigantic pit and it was filled with dead horses. And I just said, I have to leave right now. You can stay. I said to Jason, but I am leaving. And I got up and I was just crying and I had my hands over my ears so I couldn't hear and I kind of had my eyes closed and I was groping my way out of the sif.

[Luke Burbank]

I actually read about some of that in the Seattle police blotter. I'm glad to know that there was a reason for the groping, but I was lost on a lot of the other people in the theater.

[Jen Andrews]

I just had to get out of there. I couldn't be worried about other people's feelings.

[Luke Burbank]

Did Jason follow behind?

[Jen Andrews]

He did. He actually took the time to like get our litter and our stuff and everything and followed out behind me. I Was just gonna. I said. I said to him, I will wait for you in the lobby. But he came out too. He said, I didn't like seeing horses get abused either. So I'm happy to leave.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you think that part of it was because I was watching the Golden Globes last night and War Horse was one of the things that was nominated. And I rented a movie over the weekend called War Horror and that was totally different and not a family picture at all. And I apologize to any of the children who were in the room. That's Comcast. You need to put some kind of a disclaimer on these things. But do you think it was part of it was. Because, see, when I saw the trailer for that movie, I thought, I don't want to see this because this looks very. This looks like the Black Stallion, which I loved when I was seven. But as an adult, I don't need to go see the Black Stallion, probably. Do you think that they were trying to offset the. Possibly. And you only know you only watched the first 12 minutes, so you're kind of.

[Jen Andrews]

I saw an hour of it and I think that it was. I think it was supposed to be part homage to like old time movie making, but then it also had to have that Spielberg Saving Private Ryan. Horrors of war also. And that just. They don't. They do. Steven Spielberg. Those don't go together. Yeah, you've made a terrible mistake.

[Luke Burbank]

Saving Private Oklahoma is not a film anybody wants. Nobody wants to see Giovanni Ribisi as Curly bleeding out. Okay, so just a strong, strong recommendation against War Horse.

[Jen Andrews]

Exactly. That's why I brought this. Because I wanted to prove to you both I paid for it. I went to it. It's bad. I don't make this stuff up.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, I was worried. I was a little worried. But now that you have the. I mean, that you were lying about it. But I see you've brought the evidence. Okay. She's on the up and up. $7, though. That's not a bad price.

[Jen Andrews]

No, the SIF. I mean, I love the SIF. This was nothing against the SIF. And they've just opened this great theater and they're not too expensive and they use real butter and they let you bring in your own coffee. Like everything that I love about a movie theater.

[Luke Burbank]

It took me for a minute to realize you were talking about the popcorn. I was trying to figure out where real butter works into the film curation process. The projection, all the projectors are lubricated with real butter. So you like sif, but just this movie you were not a fan of.

[Jen Andrews]

Exactly, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, the Golden Globes. Let's talk about this quickly because it was a big, big story in our world that Ricky Gervais came back. You were very torn between Downton Abbey and watching the Golden Globes. What did you think? And you ended up, I assume, going with the Globes.

[Jen Andrews]

Actually, it ended up to be a false choice because NBC here aired it live. So I was able to watch it live at 5pm and then watch down to Abbey when it aired at 9. So it was a lot of hand wringing for nothing.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that actually I think describes this show fairly well on a day in and day out basis. So what did you think of the Globes?

[Jen Andrews]

I thought they were very boring. I was kind of scratching my head the whole time. Hollywood 4 impressed me. Part of what's fun about them is they make wacky choices, but it was too many wacky choices. You know, the guy from the Artist and the Artist, Madonna winning, giving it to Laura Dern over Fay, over Polar, over Deschanel. You know, it was just kind of over and over. I felt like weird choices, their obsession with Claire Danes. It's like finally they can't honor her anymore for Temple grand and they would like to just do it every year, give it to her for Temple Grandin. But this year they gave it to her for Homeland, which is fine. It's just like they get their favorites and it's over and over and over. I just felt very bored by the whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I agree. I thought, I thought Ricky Gervais's opening thing was kind of funny. Talking about his large vocabulary, I thought that was kind of good. Although they cut to a shot of Amy Poehler where she was clearly just kind of like, just maybe, maybe she just wasn't paying attention. But she looked completely uninterested. And then the camera was on and then she was like, hahaha. I was like, Amy, come on, you're above that, right? Although I could have been misreading the situation there, but I felt like it was by the end of it. I still find Ricky Gervais an entertaining guy, but I was actually talking to somebody about this yesterday who said the same thing. She goes, I just think I'm over his shtick a little bit. It just kind of. It just hit. She goes. And it just has now just turned into something that feels a little mean. Is it possible that we as a nation have collectively without even. It's kind of the way we reacted to Ben Stiller at some point to the pt Cruiser as a car. Just without talking to each other, we just all said, oh, yeah, no, I'm not into that anymore. Is it possible that we've reached out with Ricky Gervais?

[Jen Andrews]

I certainly felt it last night. You could kind of feel it in the room, too. And even afterwards, everybody was like, it's not like everybody was like, I was offended. Everybody just said, yeah, it was fine. Like, it was fine. That's. He's no longer like the greatest thing.

[Luke Burbank]

I think that what was so great about him the first year, obviously, was that he was, to quote the guy we used to work for, wise back. He was pricking the pretensions.

[Jen Andrews]

He sure was.

[Luke Burbank]

He was pulling back the veil that we're told is reality. But it was. That's what was the main thing going for it. And then this year, everybody was used to it. And so then it just was like, it just needed to be a little funnier, a little sharper. And also it's weird because it's like he's the host, but he's not on stage a lot of the time. I did like that he kept bringing out alcohol in different glasses.

[Jen Andrews]

I know he wanted to make sure we knew that he was continuing to drink throughout the night. He wasn't nursing the same beer. I thought too, that, you know, like, Jimmy Fallon came out and did a really funny, cute little thing about dancing, like Mick Jagger. And it fell. Like, everybody who tried something just kind of fell flat. It wasn't a night for anything fun for some reason.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know what I think the problem is, is that when you have somebody like Ricky Gervais hosting, and I bet you they won't have him host next year, actually, I think that they. They were smart to pick him up for another year. They really were, because it was a big part of why I wanted to watch it. But what happens when the host is not being gracious at all? It's just like you get into this weird us versus them thing where the only way that the people on stage could be funny would be to make fun of Jervae's back. You notice that some of the people, like, I want to say, was it Clive Owen who came out? Somebody came out and said something. There was protesters outside.

[Jen Andrews]

It was Colin Firth.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, right. Colin Firth, like, so what it means is, like, when someone like Jimmy Fallon comes out and is being. See, there's so little room for genuine feelings with Ricky Gervais. Even though Ricky Gervais's thing is, I'm telling the truth, had to be said, there's still no real room for like kind of non ironic, non hard edged comedy. So when Jimmy Fallon, who's just a big old puppy dog, comes out and is doing an actually funny Mick Jagger move, what are the moves like Jagger. Right. It doesn't work because you've already, I think, programmed the audience, the live audience, to not really react to that kind of open hearted comedy. Am I getting too, like, am I trying to analyze this too hard?

[Jen Andrews]

Well, I think that makes as much sense as anything because it was weird because the genuinely like great little moments like Jane lynch and Tina Fey had one, they kind of went nowhere. It was like the audience wasn't prepared for that. There were some great moments, I would say a few. One of them was when Idris Elba beat Dominic west and it was like, oh my word, Stringer Bell just beat McNulty and then he went over and hugged him. And as somebody said today, you know, Israel and Palestine should be really ashamed of themselves that they can't work out their problems. So that was really great. The director did the thing that drives me crazy, which is like somebody just mentioned black people. Find a black person in the crowd.

[Luke Burbank]

It was like, I have never, I have never seen so much gratuitous cutting to. It's so insulting because it's like, okay, Sidney Poitier is on stage. Fine. Show. A variety of people in the audience don't stick exclusively to the African Americans. It makes it seem like they're the only ones who are allowed to have a reaction to it. And like, oh, hey, are you guys liking this? Hey, we got a black guy for you. Are you guys enjoying this?

[Jen Andrews]

I know. And then there was, of course, the moment when they went to, when they cut. Another thing happened where somebody mentioned something about black culture in our country or something like that. And they cut to Chris Tucker. Yes. It was like, Chris Tucker is at the Golden Globes.

[Luke Burbank]

Actually the guy who ate Chris Tucker, which I know is a big stretch coming from me. I get that, I get it. But I mean, yeah, I noticed actually two different times they cut to Chris Tucker for the ribl action. Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

Oh, my word. Exactly. No, Wade. Yes. And it was just, first of all, I was annoyed that they were doing that. But then secondly, I was like, oh, Chris Tucker is at the Golden Globes.

[Luke Burbank]

Doesn't he have tax problems?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, he's in bankruptcy and he has one of my favorite mug shots of all time. He got arrested because he was pulled over for speeding. But it was so fast, you know, that they call it like reckless Driving, whatever. And then they. And then he had unpaid parking tickets. It's one of those situations where he ended up getting taken into custody. But he was literally on his way from church to his grandma's house. So he's wearing the most, like, green cardigan sweater with, like, a tie, and he's smiling. It's the best little mug shot you've ever seen.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, he seemed, you know, like he was having an okay time, but there just was, like you said, I totally forgot about that until you brought it up. And I'm glad you did. I just, like, particularly in the. Because, you know, Morgan Freeman got the Cecil B. DeMille Award, which I think is well deserved. But again, it had this very white, paternal, like, hey, guys, aren't you happy we're giving one of your own something? It's like, you shouldn't be grateful as an African American actor that. That Morgan Freeman won the award. He deserves it, so stop cutting to these other African Americans to be like, aren't you. It's like, it just seemed really patronizing to me.

[Jen Andrews]

The worst one of all, though, was Ricky Gervais made a joke about. He was introducing Colin Firth, and he said, you know, everybody thinks he's so handsome and wonderful, all that stuff, but he's actually really quite racist. Which was a kind of funny joke. But then they cut to the help, like, the whole table of black women sitting there, like, they're supposed to laugh uproariously about white people making fun of people being racist. I just thought, what are you doing?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that was. That was. That was, I thought, very bizarre. And I don't know, it didn't work, in my opinion, but I think all in all, it was. I still will take the Golden Globes over the Oscars any time of the day or night.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, it's common. It's being able to have Tina Fey there and, like, having the TV people mingled in. And it was still fun. I mean, I still totally watched the whole thing and had a good time. I also noticed that Johnny Depp is now speaking like Jeremy Irons. I tweeted to him. I don't know if he'll read it, but you're from Kentucky. Why do you sound like Jeremy Irons? Like, we've all decided, like, Madonna's just crazy and whatever, she can do that. But I don't like to see that out of Johnny Depp.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, Johnny Depp has been living in France for 10, 12 years, and the only time he speaks English is when he's impersonating Hunter S. Thompson. So it may be just like his brain has started to kind of orient itself in this whole new direction that ends up being scar from the Lion King. That's, by the way, my reference point for Jeremy Irons. That tells you how classy I am. None of the. None of the fancy dancy foreign films he's been in. I'm going, more scar from the Lion King. Well, that. Yeah. I'm glad we agree on this because I'll tell you what, Flash, if we had differed in opinion on the Golden Globes, probably the thousandth show is off.

[Jen Andrews]

No, it's happening. Stop it.

[Luke Burbank]

I had this. I'm gonna knock on wood while I say this. I had this thought coming. I was in Las Vegas this weekend and I was flying back and I thought to myself, what if I just got violently ill Friday or Saturday, you know what I mean? Just like deathly ill and couldn't even. I would El Cid it if I had to. Which is the Charlton Heston movie where he's like, leading these troops and he actually dies before the big day of battle. And he just has. But he tells them somehow before he dies. So just strap him to a horse and then hit the horse in the butt. Probably in a non PETA approved way, not unlike War Horse.

[Jen Andrews]

So what we could do is. I've heard this before, that this happens. Like, you know, if somebody who's hosting the Oscars gets sick or something, we.

[Luke Burbank]

Could take, which I put these on the same level. The TBTL 1000.

[Jen Andrews]

I hope so I think we can take you to the hospital and they can actually give you a shot. They have like this shot that's like tons of vitamin C and maybe even some cortisone and I don't know what all, but they like, shoot it into you and it like, kind of the same thing. It props you up for a few hours.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a thing that Mr. Burns on the Simpsons has to get eight times a day to just be not dead.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, so we'll do that.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't think of anything that could stop me from being there. Like, it doesn't. Even if I was so sick that I just had to come out and, like, lie down on the stage while you and Sean basically carried the show. That would be something, right?

[Jen Andrews]

Well, it certainly adds a lot of drama, which we might be needing. I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know what? I was going to continue on with the speculation on 1000 and start to talk about, like, God, how weird is it that we've done a thousand of these? Are we going to do another thousand. But we've got all week to polish our own navels. So we'll leave it here for now and bring you the official TBTL instructions on how to enjoy a snow day. We will be back here tomorrow with a more imaginary radio. Lord Willen and the snow don't rise. And this whole week we'll be keeping you updated. If you don't want to hear people talking about how they're going to do something on Saturday night. This is not the week for you to listen to this show because that's a lot of what's gonna happen.

[Jen Andrews]

We can't stop, we can't help ourselves.

[Luke Burbank]

But we hope you can tolerate. If you have not picked up your tickets, you should do so. It's an all ages show too, by the way, which is really fun. It's at the Neptune, which is a really awesome space to have this and we've got lots of room. So go to tbtl.net where you can go to the link at the top page. It's got an old grandmother smoking a cigarette, blowing out a thousand birthday candles. Well, birthday candles in the shape of the number 1,000. So we keep it classy as always on this show. Alright, take a listen to this best of from the TBTL archives. What's going on here? Nothing.

[Jen Andrews]

Nothing. I'm not sure that Pig should be in the house. And by the way, what are you.

[Luke Burbank]

Doing with his leavings? Don't worry, I've devised the most elegant solution. Oh, it's leaking. It's not leaking. It's overflowing.

[Jen Andrews]

He filled up the whole silo in just two days.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I helped.

[Jen Andrews]

Homer, stop. You have to dispose of that waste properly.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, Marge, I will.

[Jen Andrews]

You can take Spider Pig with you.

[Luke Burbank]

He's not Spider Pig anymore. He's Harry Plopper.

[Jen Andrews]

Tbtm.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey there, everybody. Hey everybody. Welcome to a Tuesday afternoon edition of tbtl. This is the show that's probably too beautiful to live. I'm your host, Luke Burbank, weighing in at £185. We have a fun program in store for you. It's episode 728 in the Collectors series. Hi.

[Jen Andrews]

This is Luke's mom, Susie.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming tonight on TBTL, MySpace announces that it's it is laying off half of its workforce. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard. Leading to the second saddest thought anyone's had, which is they're still doing MySpace. And also the complicated feelings that I have towards a story that I know you out there in Imaginary Radio Land have been dying, dying for us to discuss here on tbtl. And that is the story of the self styled superheroes who have been running around downtown Seattle trying to solve crimes. And I'm not even supposed to be here today. Sometimes getting their nose broken. We will get into that and a whole bunch of other fun things today on the show, which will actually be a little bit on the brief side because we have some, we have some carpet people coming over later to help us further the completion of Burbank Studios de Bajo. Yesterday, as I opened the program here, I told the story of the time I was in the Chinese restaurant in Tai Fung and was trying to be nice and friendly and jokey with a young man who was hearing impaired and signing into his iPhone 4. And what I ended up doing was a very offensive and let's be honest, probably racist thing of fake Japanese sign language into an iPhone. But I was holding my iPhone, which is an iPhone3. It doesn't even have that capability. Anyway, this was a very traumatizing experience for listener Nicole. She said that she was so embarrassed for me, she says, by your Chinese food sign language story, that I had to stop listening, which is fair. On the other hand, though, I got this tweet from listener Logain. Logain tweets I legit guffawed at Luke Burbank's story on TBTL yesterday regarding signing. Kid, you using FaceTime parenthetically and am Asian American, former ASL student.

[Jen Andrews]

Opinions vary.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess opinions will have to vary on that. I love Jesus, but I drink a little. There's no question about this next thing, which is that one of the best things about TBTL day in and day out is Jen Flash Andrews, the longtime producer of the show, who is in Fort Wayne, Indiana. Hello, Jennifer.

[Jen Andrews]

Hi, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't understand someone getting so embarrassed. I do understand. Okay, when I'm watching a show like Jerry Springer, that is, or one of those programs, occasionally, Amore, I will get so embarrassed for the people on the show that I will have to change the channel. But the reason is because the segment is ongoing and I have to leave watching it because I can't continue watching it. But it sounds like this listener Nicole heard my embarrassing story and then just changed off of the podcast, I guess on principle.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, we have been known to drag a story out.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I think you're thinking of a different hour long podcast that involves a surprisingly small amount of prep. How's Fort Wayne?

[Jen Andrews]

Fort Wayne is good. I was a little bit down today. I think I had Some homesickness. And so I decided to take a snow day.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really?

[Jen Andrews]

And for me, that, that involves some pre planning. I kind of. Last night, when I heard it was going to snow all day, which it has been snowing all day, I decided to do it. So it involves watching the Philadelphia Story in bed with champagne.

[Luke Burbank]

That is, is that how is that where we currently find you?

[Jen Andrews]

No, no, that's how I start. So that, that, that lasted until about 11. And then I got up and made some stew, Julia Child style, which means I drank while doing it and also continued to throw drink in to the stew pot.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure. Some for the food, some for you.

[Jen Andrews]

And then I.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Jen Andrews]

And then I stared out the window for a long time and then it was getting on toward, you know, it was time to sober up for the show. So then I took a long nap. And that's where you now find me.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow. Well, that's. That's quite a. You've already lived almost a lifetime just in the span of, you know, like sweet berry wine, the morning and afternoon there in Fort Wayne, Indiana. You know what is, what is odd, Jennifer, is that it's snowing there. It sounds like or has been snowing. It is supposed to snow here in Seattle today, and it's not gonna snow that much. It's going to snow just enough to snarl afternoon traffic here in Seattle. They think between 2 and 4 inches. And I, I'm not complaining about my. My life or my job because I'm very lucky that I get to just say the crap that comes to my mind and people have somehow decided that that's worth listening to. But one of the things about my job that's a little bit tiring is I have to go in kind of early in the morning. And usually I'm pretty gassed by the. By the afternoon. And the last time it's snowed here, a couple of months back, it was the same kind of thing where the afternoon traffic turned into a living hell. But I didn't know that because I had come home and after doing tbtl, had gone down for my afternoon nap. And then I woke up and it was just beautiful and white and snowy outside. And I went and walked around my neighborhood and it was really fun. Meanwhile, people were just cursing the day that. That they were born out on the freeways for some reason. I love the idea of that. I don't know why, but it makes me really happy to think that I'm already at my house, right. And everyone else is kind of fucked. And I don't Understand why that I don't. I'm not that kind of person by nature, but that particular thing. And I'm talking about a bunch of our actual listeners who live in Seattle and are probably gonna stop listening. And you know what? I don't blame you. So I made a plan for today, which I already told Vanessa about, which I'm really excited about. It's. I'm gonna wrap the show up. The dude's gonna come over, we're gonna pick out some flooring stuff, he's gonna leave, and then I'm going to sit on the couch in our living room, and I'm gonna look out at the snow falling, and I'm gonna watch airplanes as they cruise over Beacon Hill, and I'm gonna drink a shitload of Chateau St Michel and make a big fire.

[Jen Andrews]

You're gonna have a snow evening.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm gonna have a snow evening. I'm gonna probably read, like the 10 back New Yorkers that I'm behind on. I have this Gary Shingard book that I've been thinking about starting. Is that the true, sad, super sad, True Love Story?

[Jen Andrews]

Dear Love Story 1.

[Luke Burbank]

So you had a snow morning, and I'm planning on a snow evening. What do you think the chances are of that?

[Jen Andrews]

Well, you know, there's all this controversy going on with this writer who wrote about Chinese moms.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah, yeah, I saw that.

[Jen Andrews]

And it's interesting because my mom had this whole theory when we were growing up, which was that every once in a while, you need to take a sick day. It's not that you're actually physically sick, but you're just tired, you're worn out, you're emotionally down, whatever. Take a sick day. And she allowed a couple of them a year, which makes her really not a Chinese mom at all. Chinese moms. And as I understand it, because I've now seen the author give several interviews because she's receiving so much hate mail trying to clarify what she meant, which is kind of this immigrant mentality of you've gotta be super tough and you've gotta be better than everyone else if you're gonna succeed kind of thing, like she said. I think she regrets now using the term Chinese mom. But anyway, my mom was definitely not like that. So she was like, yeah, take a sick day. And as an adult, it's funny because I feel weird about taking a sick day because it seems like lying. Well, it is lying.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Jen Andrews]

So taking a snow day has kind of become what I call it, because, you know, hey, it's snowing out And I'm gonna stay in because that's safer for everyone.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. If you're a non essential government worker, yes. This is the day for you to just go ahead and stay home. Now, please don't ever refer to it by my most hated description, which is mental health day. Take a little mental health day. I really hate that way of describing it. It's really terrible. You know what's weird is in my family, in my family, we didn't. My parents are not scholars. They are not. And they weren't the kind of parents who ever asked me about my grades or like went to parent teacher conferences. Not because they were inattentive. I mean, their whole life was raising us kids. It wasn't like they were. They had better things to do. It's just like they're not like, they didn't go to college and they're. I mean, they certainly wanted their kids to do well and go to school and stuff, but they were not like those. They weren't like both professors who were like taking us to Montessori school. I mean, in my case, I was often pulled out of regular school for random entire grade years to just be, quote, unquote, homeschooled. Right? So. But there was one thing that was a huge, big deal in our house, and I think it was because my mom just couldn't handle us being at home because there were so many kids you had to go to school. I think I probably missed maybe two days of school my entire 12 years of being in school. And really. And it was super good for me because there are just, you know, that.

[Jen Andrews]

Is so surprising to me.

[Luke Burbank]

Really? Why, why does that surprise you? Because of my laziness, generally.

[Jen Andrews]

Because. No, because. I mean, I skipped school. I was a huge skipper. Like, I skipped all the time and I didn't think twice about it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man, I never. I never skipped because I was, you know, which I don't know, it was just ingrained in me again, I think it had came down to the fact that my mom was just like, I gotta have, you know, five to six hours without these people around. And so it was like it was imperative that we go to school. But.

[Jen Andrews]

But even when you had a driver's license?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I. It's weird. I was a bad kid. I mean, I got someone pregnant when I was 17. Believe me, it wasn't like I was. But I was really terrified of skipping. I never ever skipped any classes because until my senior year, now, my senior year, because I had already gotten enough credit to more or less graduate I really needed to go for a senior year too, because I wanted to play basketball and because I needed to get a Spanish class. Because you needed two years of a foreign language to get into like the UW or whatever. But other than that, all of the classes were electives and I was already admitted into college and so it was pretty voluntary. And so I actually, I mean, I skipped a fair amount of classes my senior year, but before that I was, I was like a straight arrow. And I have to say that that was a really good thing for me because, you know, there are those people and we've all worked and you're not, certainly not one of them at all, Jen. But there are those people, we've all worked with them, where they like, man, they use every single sick day. Have you ever gone through a year where you used every single sick day?

[Jen Andrews]

No, I mean, I've rarely ever used a sick day.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, short of like having an actual, a really serious illness, which of course happens. I don't understand people who use. There used to be this guy when I worked at Metro Traffic and you totally, I'm sure, produced at some point when he was the, he was the son of a one time very prominent Seattle radio personality. You know who I'm talking about?

[Jen Andrews]

Uh huh.

[Luke Burbank]

And he's, he's a nice enough guy. He's kind of a head case, but he's a nice enough guy. But he was this dude who would like run out of his sick days by six months into the year. And I was always thinking, God, how do you, how are you sick? 14 times. I always, I always thought that for companies. By the way, you've, you've tuned into HR Talk, where we discuss vacations and sick time policies on a podcast. It's a very boring show. I've always thought that what employers should do is when, when you leave a job, they should pay you, you know, like 10 cents on the dollar for your sick days that you don't use. Because, I mean, that's like hugely beneficial to the company. If that was like two weeks every year that I. And to this day it's two weeks that I, or however many weeks, I don't know how many. I don't even know how much sick time you get. Right? But that is the amount of time that I leave on the table every year. And I feel like, I mean, if I had a job where I didn't have to go in and talk on the radio, like if I had a job at a computer that was organizing something or you know, I don't know, doing some other kind of thing. I would call in sick all the time. I mean like constantly. I've just always had these jobs for the last 10 years where it's the kind of thing that if you don't go in, the thing will really fall apart.

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, they'll actually have to make calls and get somebody out of bed and get them in there to replace you.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. There's no not coming in and then just catching up on work the next day. I think if that were the possibility, I'd be taking hella mental health days.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, it's interesting because of this whole controversy about this new book. I was thinking a lot about my parents philosophy and their philosophy really was you try as hard as you can and then if you qualify for something, if you get into a school, if you make it into something, we'll do whatever we can to help you out. And then I was kind of left on my own. There was definitely no shaming me or driving me forward or, you know what I mean? It was just kind of like, listen, here's the deal. You work as hard as you can and if you qualify for something, we'll do the best we can to help you out with that. So I pretty self directed.

[Luke Burbank]

Was it the period of high school where you lived on your own in an apartment that you started to feel like you were really the captain of your own ship?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah, I think that's probably when I got serious about stuff.

[Luke Burbank]

Started to get an inkling when you used to have to go back when.

[Jen Andrews]

I was writing the rent check.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. That was an early indication for you that you were gonna be, you were gonna be in charge of the S.S. bronson.

[Jen Andrews]

Yes. And it definitely. I know the people whose parents drive them really, really hard. And I always kind of looked at that with fascinating because that was certainly not my experience.

[Luke Burbank]

I think the thing about, the thing about being the parents who don't ride your kid all the time, because my parents were, as I just mentioned, also kind of, hey, you know, work it out. Because like they, I think my parents were just like, you know, I don't know what their theory was, to be honest with you. I am much more, as it relates to my kid, much more worried constantly about what her grades are, if she's, if all of the pieces are falling into place for her, you know, adulthood. And I don't even know actually if that's a service or a disservice in a way. I feel like the problem is if you don't do that like, if you have the means and the time to do that and you don't do it, and then they become a crackhead, you're like, yeah, I should have been a little bit more worried about, you know what I mean? Yeah, it's almost. But it's almost just from a parental standpoint, a covering of your ass, like, because, like, you turned out great. I turned out okay, hopefully. So it's like our parents, hey, whatever wacky. Whatever wacky strategy they have. Well, I guess it all turned out okay, which is fine. But I also watch a lot of the show Intervention and see that kind of, you know, various sorts of wacky parenting strategies or hands off parenting strategies go awry. And I always feel like the people who were super hands on, like, if the intervention goes. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. She was the apple of our eye. And they show a picture of the family, and there's like a loving family photo where they're beaming, you know, around the Christmas tree and they have the sweaters on. Then I'm like, oh, that kid's just an asshole. But if it's like, you know. Yeah, well, you know, it was. I think I first started getting interested in alcohol when I would do shots with my mom before she would go to her, you know, shift at the strip club. Then I'm like, oh, well, you know, you're B parents, right?

[Jen Andrews]

You always want to have a. An exact reason why things went bad.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. It largely comes down to me just trying to insulate myself against criticism that I will no doubt suffer at the hands of the A and E television crew from Intervention. Speaking of mental health days, hey. Oh, I had almost a mental health afternoon. I don't know what happened to me, but I drove home, and usually from 12 to 2, I kind of try to pull things together for TBTL. And that was my plan today. But I just. I sat down on the couch and I kind of sunk into the couch a little bit with the laptop, and it would. The laptop was warm. I started to get kind of drowsy. And then I thought, okay, Luke, it's time to start getting serious about this show prep. And then instead, I decided it was time to just get serious about looking at all of Andy Milonakis videos that he's put up on YouTube of him just in his room rapping video.

[Jen Andrews]

Many of those are there.

[Luke Burbank]

I would say there are easily 40 or 50. And I gotta tell you, Flash, they're not terrible. Totally. To be honest with you, I wish.

[Jen Andrews]

I was a little bit taller but here's my first wish Wish I could.

[Luke Burbank]

Fly around the world and just reverse.

[Jen Andrews]

It Then I would nurse it Little baby earth kid Think it will be worth it? Think it will be worth it People lost strange when you were a stranger People are deranged Then you're in danger Stranger danger Ring the alarm if you don't gotta get Then bring the napalm Bom bom bom bom Everybody bom bom piece the Becky bon bomb do you like it? When I don't go to an easy joke and rip it and rip it, rip it and rip it real different cause I'm funny like anomaly I wanna see you driving your Kia to Ikea with a new idea Then I'll help put your shelf together if you help me put myself together Cause I'm clever and cool when I'm not in pieces R I P Old Navy fleeces I.

[Luke Burbank]

Hope you meet Jesus that's right, the last line of that rap. Rip Old Navy fleeces. Like, surprisingly good though, right?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. Although I'm getting it kind of distorted. I think we have some audio.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, anyway, listen back to the. Listen back to the replay. You will appreciate it. It's like he is. That guy is really fascinating to me even now. So I just spent the two hours of show prep that I usually spend prepping the show. I spent watching Andy Milonakis various videos that he makes in his bedroom. So I think we all used our time really wisely.

[Jen Andrews]

You're actually also having a snow day. A snow day and a snow evening.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And to be honest with you, now.

[Jen Andrews]

That you're talking about it kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

A snow morning, because I didn't concentrate very hard on the talk show either, that I am now the co host of. Hey, yesterday I had wondered aloud if, because the Seahawks are going to Chicago this week to play the Bears. And I've been getting some emails from a few different Chicago tents who've said, hey, well, one in particular, a lot of them have just been generally talking shit about the game, but one in particular said, you know, why don't we make a bet, one of those bets like cities do, like mayors of cities do, where, you know, we'll send you some of our finest. This for that. And I wondered, do they ever actually make good on those bets? And it turns out apparently they do. New Orleans Mayor Mitch Landrieu has settled up with Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn. This, of course, in reference to the Seahawks Saints game of a few days ago. They had bet on last weekend's playoff Game. Seattle won the game. And so on Tuesday, a news release out of New Orleans said Landru had sent 10 pounds of shrimp, a gallon of oysters, a gallon of crawfish et toffee, a gallon of chicken and sausage gumbo, and a fleur de lis king cake to Seattle Mayor Mike McGinn. Also in the selection was Louisiana music, including the soundtrack from the HBO series Tremendous. And it was all topped off with a package of Mardi Gras beads, which was heartbreaking because it meant Mike McGinn had to show us his tits. And it was one of the most disturbing things that's ever happened in Seattle politics. And it's. You know, there have been disturbing moments in Seattle politics, but that was the worst. So thanks a lot. Mitch Landrieu. I have to be honest, I always thought that that was just kind of a. Like a ceremonial, a formality, a. What's the word I'm looking for? Flash. A. Not a real thing.

[Jen Andrews]

Symbolic.

[Luke Burbank]

A symbolic thing. But it turns out that that is. That's really happening. So, anyway, I'm still not gonna make a bet with any of the Chicago. The Chicago people, because I don't really want to have to. I'm going to Chicago. Not this week, but the next, and I don't have to fly out there with like a. A freaking salmon or a cup of coffee from Starbucks or whatever.

[Jen Andrews]

I was just gonna ask you if you saw that the New York Times did that. 41 places to go in the world this year, and only three of them were in America, and two of them were in Washington state, and I think that's what made me homesick.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I was actually. I skipped right over that. I meant to ask you what it was that had you pining for the Northwest. Do you remember what the two things were?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. Well, so there was only three places in America, like I said. One was Park City, and we actually spent a week in Park City on our trip. And it is amazing. We have a 10 there. Scotty T. Park City is awesome. But the two places in Washington, one was the San Juans, and the other was the Olympic National Forest. And those are two of my very favorite places in Washington state. So people who live in Washington go take advantage of that this year. It's amazing.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a really good piece of advice. I've been thinking, because, truth be told, we're probably not going to stay in Seattle for our entire lives. And so Van and I should actually take advantage of this natural beauty while we're here. This is a story that Is surprising, maybe not for the reasons that one would think initially. And the story is that MySpace is laying off 50% of its workforce. That is apparently 500 of what is about 1100 workers. Surprising to me that MySpace had 1100 workers. I don't know if it's like a team of ladies that bedazzle the font on people's names, or maybe they have a team of consultants that help you pick the most scandalous way to show off your thong just below your tramp stamp. I don't know what's going on with the.

[Jen Andrews]

Those are good theories.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Because that seems to be mostly what MySpace traffic's in at this point, as far as I can tell. Another thing that was surprising to me was that MySpace is owned by the News Corp. By Rupert Murdoch. And I had forgotten that at some point MySpace was acquired. Isn't that surprising that it was a.

[Jen Andrews]

Hot property at one time?

[Luke Burbank]

Not that it was, but just that I didn't. The thing with these social media sites is, I guess if you buy it at the right time, I mean, if somehow Facebook would have been sold for a billion dollars and then for many more billions of dollars, I think it was offered. They offered them 4 billion. They've offered them large sums of money, and they keep turning them down. And so right now it's like, well, that was really smart of Facebook not to sell because they just keep going up and up and up. But someday, if the story is how Facebook is laying off half of its thousand remaining employees because the new thing called. I don't know, what would the new thing even be called? This is why I'm not a venture capitalist or a futurist or an inventor. But whatever the new Facebook is, could. I mean, these things are. I feel like these social media sites can never rain for years and years and years. And, you know, right now, Facebook just seems unbeatable. But I don't assume I'm going to be using Facebook in 10 years, do you?

[Jen Andrews]

No. Well, I think the thing about MySpace that I thought was great is that MySpace kind of morphed into exactly what it's really good for, which is a showcase for bands.

[Luke Burbank]

Right.

[Jen Andrews]

I still think MySpace is the best place to go hear a new album or see where a band is playing. Like, look at their schedule. Like, I think it kind of. That's what it became really, really good for. And then now that they've linked up with Facebook, so you can log directly to Facebook from your MySpace account, it seems like at that point they kind of threw in the towel. To some extent and said, listen, we're going to be a showcase for bands, and if you want to do your social networking, then you just link directly to Facebook from here. On the one hand, I thought, well, good for them for kind of recognizing what they had become and giving into that. But I guess I didn't think. It never occurred to me there were still employees. So I'm sad for them. Do you Even know where MySpace is located?

[Luke Burbank]

It's located in Tony, Beverly Hills, California. Oh, yeah, I know. I also don't understand, though, why Facebook didn't. Just because Facebook already. Once Facebook had critical mass. You know, Facebook has like 500 million users or something now. Or maybe way more than that. Once. Once Facebook got all of the users, I don't understand why they didn't just convert over to also being the place where you get the music. Because all the people in those bands, they have Facebook pages that say, go to MySpace for my band's page.

[Jen Andrews]

Right. It's like MySpace is still a better venue for checking out a band. And I'm not sure why Facebook hasn't been able to convert that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I don't know if maybe there's some reason why they don't feel like that's something that's going to be very useful for them long term, or maybe it's bandwidth. I mean, I don't know. But it seems like Facebook could very easily just completely erase MySpace if they just put up a player.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, and I felt like that's exactly what Zuckerberg said to Leslie Stahl was he wants Facebook to be the place where you do everything, where you watch media, where you do your emails. He wants you to basically log into Facebook in the morning, and that's where you do everything you need to do all day long. And so it does seem like one of the first things he needs to figure out is how to make it a good music player. That's free advice.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. That's a freebie zookeeper, by the way. Just in time. Facebook is expected to have its initial public offering in 2012, so jump right on that.

[Jen Andrews]

But it's so frustrating because you and I can't get in on that. It's all people that are. It's all people who are really important at their own brokerages. And so then their broker calls. I have a wonderful opportunity for you, and I'm not going to get that call. I can maybe, you know, if I could maybe afford two shares, I would actually like to buy two shares if I could. But, you know, by the time you and I can buy shares. It'll be zoomed up to $500 a share or something.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what's funny, Flash, is that I completely misread that. I thought that they were saying, Facebook is having its IPO in 2012. I mean, MySpace is having its IPO in 2012.

[Jen Andrews]

It's Facebook.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, because it was like a weirdly constructed sentence where the whole story's about MySpace and then there's a mention about Facebook, and then the final sentence just says, they are expected to have an IPO offering. Well, IPO offering would be redundant, but an IPO in 2012. And I thought it was still referring to MySpace. And that's why I said, get right on that.

[Jen Andrews]

Get right on it.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you know, the. You know, like Champion Horse and Buggy Incorporated will be offering its stock for public option in 2040. Like, I thought they were way too late. Oh, yeah, Facebook. No way.

[Jen Andrews]

I thought you were being. I picked up your sarcasm, but I thought you were being sarcastic because you and I, in our 10s, us regular people can't be in on the IPO anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

See, I still. I may look like a complete fool years from now, but I honestly wonder if Facebook would be the world's greatest investment. I think it would be a great investment in the short term. And maybe Zuckerberg is so smart and the people at Facebook are so smart that they. That they will always just stay ahead of everything else and continue to be relevant. But I don't know. I don't know. I just. I feel like. I mean, when Friendster came along, I was like, this is rad. And then in MySpace, and I was like, friendster shmeenster. And now I'm like, my what? So why is it that Facebook's gonna be the first one that that doesn't happen to eventually?

[Jen Andrews]

Well, it seems to me, Facebook, to me, feels like Google. It feels like they're so forward thinking and they have so many great minds and they're so willing to adapt and to take on new technologies that it feels like a better bet than a lot of other ones out there. But also, you're absolutely right. Google also is frantically hiring the smartest minds out there to try to take on Facebook. So maybe Google will topple them or maybe some new person will come out. I used to think that all the time about Nike. I used to think, Nike can never. I feel so bad for anyone who wants to get in this game. And then Reebok came out. And when Reebok first came out, I just thought oh, my gosh. I never thought anyone could topple Nike. So you never know when somebody new is going to come along and that you couldn't have even dreamed of.

[Luke Burbank]

What I do know is that whenever I have a hunch about a stock, everyone should do the opposite. I have almost the world's worst track record in calling which company are going to be big, which ones. I mean, you know, Vanessa and I met this guy, Biz Stone, who was one of the founders of Twitter, like, I don't know, a month or two after Twitter started, and he was trying to tell me about Twitter. We were at this thing in Napa, and I was, like, thinking to myself the whole time, I'm like, oh, my God, I am so sad for you. This is not going anywhere. You should try to be a public radio reporter like I am, because that's the growth industry. I mean, I seriously hung out with this guy for probably like four or five hours, having drinks and just thinking the whole time, this will never work. So just don't.

[Jen Andrews]

No, I understand. I owned a lot of stock in Washington Mutual because I thought, why wouldn't I invest in my hometown bank?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Jen Andrews]

So, you know, I used to.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, quick, very quick story about Washington Mutual and stock and that company. So when I was. I had never played poker before. And I went to a friend of mine's house, a guy that I used to work at a different radio station in Seattle, and he had a poker party. And I didn't really know how to play. Nobody else knew how to play that well. There was this one guy who was awesome. He was like a real numbers guy, and he was like an accountant who loved poker and would play in some of the local card rooms. And I remember him just smoking us and me thinking, I'll never understand this poker thing. But then I moved to LA and I got really into playing poker, and so I kind of learned the ropes and I came back to Seattle. And in the time while I was gone, this guy, I heard, the guy who had been really good at poker, at the game, I heard about him through the person who had been hosting the party. And this guy had gone from being like a pretty accomplished accountant or whatever to turning pro as a poker player, meaning playing in the local casinos all the time, losing pretty much all of the money he'd saved over the course of his whole life. And one night, after I got done hosting tbtl, I headed on up to one of the finer casinos in Shoreline. And I was sitting there and I looked across at this kind of sad Sack guy. And I realized, oh my God, this is the dude from like six years ago who used to know how to play poker and when I didn't. And here he is, and this is what his, his life is now. And we started talking and of course I didn't get into that stuff. I was just sort of, how you doing? He said, oh, man, you know, I've had some tough runs, but I'm getting it together. He said, I think I've got it figured out. I just put what's left of my money into Washington Mutual because it can't go down any further. And the next, like two or three days later, they were like delisted by the, by the stock market and basically everything collapsed. And right when that happened, I can't remember where I was, but I think Kerry Killinger's. This was the CEO of wamu. As he was having his press conference or as it was being announced that the company had completely and totally imploded, I thought that poor, poor man.

[Jen Andrews]

Oh my gosh.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of poor, poor men. And I guess this will kind of count as our top story on today's show. The case of Phoenix Jones, the Guardian of Seattle. He's one of Seattle's now very well known self proclaimed superheroes. He was apparently breaking up an incident on Monday, not sure if it was yesterday or a week ago, but on a recent Monday, he was trying to break up some kind of a scuffle by putting a guy in a headlock. The problem is someone else involved in the scuffle decided that he would pull a gun on Phoenix Jones, the Guardian of Seattle. That was the point when Phoenix Jones, Guardian of Seattle, remembered, oh, my name is Michael, Michael Smith and I am actually a linoleum salesperson. And holy shit, I don't want to get shot. So he took the guy out of the headlock and then one of the dude he had been headlocking kicked him in the face and broke his nose. And this has renewed calls by the Seattle Police Department, or I should say requests by the Seattle Police Department that the these Seattle superheroes please stop trying to superhero out on stuff in downtown Seattle and other places, because they're just gonna get the crap kicked out of them. And I guess the reason that I am interested in this story is, believe it or not, not even because of these guys trying to be superheroes, because I guess I feel like they're not superheroes. They're just kind of vigilantes. They have a cool shtick. I think it's cute, but it's not the movie Kick Ass. It's not even the cape. And I think it's. I think it's so fascinating because I have probably received this story, had the story forwarded to me 40 or 50 times by our listeners. So our listeners are clearly fascinated with these folks tale. And I don't know if it's because I used to live on Capitol Hill and there are guardian angels everywhere. So you're just used to seeing people you certainly know from guardian angels, don't you, Flash? You used to be the producer for Curtis Lewis, right? The main guardian angel, the founder of the Guardian Angels.

[Jen Andrews]

Yes, the guardian angel took me home every night on the subway.

[Luke Burbank]

So I guess I. I don't really. I guess I don't. I don't understand why everyone is so in totally fat. Like they've been on Good Morning America. Apparently there are all these TV producers are frantically trying to get in touch with them. They have become a total sensation. And I guess I don't totally understand why. Can you think of why this might be, Flash?

[Jen Andrews]

Well, I think it appeals to exactly what you said, that kick ass kind of idea. It's very much a part of the mythology mythologies that we grew up with. The problem, as you mentioned, is that they're not superheroes. They're just people and they're gonna get hurt. And that's the thing that I think everybody is rightly concerned about. There's nothing super about these people. They're, you know, they're gonna get hurt like this guy did, I guess also.

[Luke Burbank]

I would want them, if they're gonna do it, to really go for it. Like I want them swinging on a cable from the monorail. I want them. Right. There's a long history of people who are not actually like super Superman. You know, Batman isn't super anything. He just has better gear. Like, if they're gonna go for it with this superhero thing, with this. I'm a regular person, but I'm a superhero. I need them to build some really cool shit that really helps them do some super stuff. And short of that, they just seem kind of like, you know, I mean, they seem like very nice people. And I don't. I don't want anything bad to happen to them. But I'm amazed at the way this has captured the imagination of America because it doesn't capture my imagination in the same way. And I've been trying to kind of figure it out.

[Jen Andrews]

Oh, I think it's just everything to do with the fact that you grow up watching the movies or reading the comic books or reading the books. And you can't help but dream about being special like that. And so these guys are actually out trying to be special, but again, they're not special. They're just like us.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I wonder if the. The fact that maybe they could inspire other people to not dress up and go get their nose broken, but just be a little bit more proactive about helping each other, about if you see somebody lying on the ground. You know, one of my things for this year that I'm going to try to do is if something weird is happening with someone, I don't want to wait for somebody else to go help them. Or if somebody's, you know, hassling someone, maybe you'll, you know, make a phone call. If they kind of lead the way on. Just everybody kind of keeping their eyes and ears open more so there's less Kitty Genovese ing going on in the world. I don't know. Maybe that's a good thing, right?

[Jen Andrews]

Yeah. I don't think that they're doing anything wrong or anything bad. Like I said, I'm genuinely concerned that they're gonna get hurt as they did. But I also think that they're probably gonna sell this idea to Hollywood and make a ton of money, and so they're gonna be just fine.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think that. I think that these guys. Yeah, I think these guys are gonna become. Are going to become definitely reality TV stars. And, you know, Phoenix Jones, the protector of Seattle, Guardian of Seattle. I have to say, he's pretty yoked, although I can't quite tell because he has, like, a foam rubber. He wears a foam rubber, like, kind of torso piece, which is all super muscular. So I don't really know how much of his muscles are the foam rubber and how much is his real muscles, but he does look pretty strong. And he said that all of the people in his group. Group have either military training or martial arts training. So, you know, okay, well, that's more than I have. Yes. But you know, one thing. Phoenix Jones, Guardian of Seattle. He never takes a snow day Flash.

[Jen Andrews]

I know. That's why he's a hero.

[Luke Burbank]

Key distinction. All right.

[Jen Andrews]

Every week I hope that it's from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man.

[Jen Andrews]

It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

The first one is, in fact, not from a female. It's from a listener who wanted to discuss this question of Courthouse Weddings. Its listener, Aaron. What happened was there was a request posed to Jen or advice requested from Jen yesterday concerning is a lady or a guy who was going to go to this Courthouse wedding.

[Jen Andrews]

I think it was a lady.

[Luke Burbank]

A person was gonna go to this courthouse wedding of someone they kind of only knew a little bit. And I said, they definitely need to make sure they don't overdress because they're gonna look really dumb if they're standing around where other people are just trying to, like, get their, you know, parking tickets taken care of so they can get their tabs. And you're in, like, a super involved taffeta dress or something. So this got listener Aaron thinking. He said, hey, Luke, I just listened to Monday's episode and heard the question about attendance of a courtroom wedding. My advice, and this is all caps, do not go.

[Jen Andrews]

Really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. He says, I speak from experience on the subject because my wife Mairead and I were married in the Bellevue courthouse. I am not implying that it was a totally negative experience per se, because the judge was awesome and a really sweet lady, but the setting did leave us both wishing we had done something a little different. There is a ton of waiting around that is involved, along with a bunch of boring paperwork. And in chambers, in the chambers we were married in, a juvenile trial had just wrapped up, and they left all sorts of Styrofoam cups with lipstick prints and Cheetos bags all over the tables. Not exactly a romantic setting. Also, I feel like, unless it was a formal quote invite, it may have been a sarcastic comment made on behalf of the inviter, like, we're getting married in a shit but box. Who wants to join? Anyway, there's my two cents. Signed Aaron. A ten from the start. So.

[Jen Andrews]

So my. My initial reaction was, right, it sounds like, don't go.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think you. I think you could skip it. I mean, I think it's just. It's like someone inviting you to go with them when they get a new driver's license photo taken. You know, that's not a social.

[Jen Andrews]

That would be very odd.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not a social event. I also got this email from our good friend listener Cassie in Monroe, who always specifies, or I should say clarifies, that she's not a pen 10.

[Jen Andrews]

Well, we do have those.

[Luke Burbank]

We do. We do. We do. Because that's for folks don't live in the northwest. Monroe, Washington, has the state penitentiary in it. And we have received many a correspondence from people that are in Monroe as clients, let's say. But Cassie is not. She just lives there. She says, luke, what a finale on Hoarders last night. Now, let me tell you, I have been seeing the previews, the teasers for this particular episode Of Hoarders and oh my goodness.

[Jen Andrews]

Are you gonna watch it?

[Luke Burbank]

Oh my God. Are you kidding me? I am counting the days. That might be my snow late evening.

[Jen Andrews]

You should not. I think that's gonna give people nightmares. So the preview gives me nightmares.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So it's a guy who has been hoarding rats. Hoarding rats. There was a guy, I was watching one a couple weeks ago who was hoarding bunnies and it was gross because they had totally destroyed the house. But they're so cute. It's like you're, it's like hoarding rainbows.

[Jen Andrews]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's like, it's disgusting, but it's also pretty cute. Now hoarding rats, on the other hand, I have been, you know, one of the things that I've been doing is I've been trying not to watch all of my back episodes of Hoarders when Vanessa's not around because she's going to South America for a month. And I've been, ironically, I've been hoarding my Hoarders episodes. I've been trying to save them up and my, and my intervention episodes so that I can watch them when she's gone. It'll be really fun for me, but I may not be able to wait on this rat one. Cassie writes, I think I've become desensitized to seeing the mounds of used adult diapers and flat cats they've been showing all season. That's a great point.

[Jen Andrews]

That's a way to put it.

[Luke Burbank]

Always a flat cat. But this rat hoarding guy really got my pwp, as in my people with problems amazement going. Although don't you agree that his house was quite clutter free? Well, I haven't seen it, but I will probably reread this and agree with you, Cassie. She says, don't you agree his house was quite clutter free? Just 2,350 plus rats and a hollowed out lazy boy.

[Jen Andrews]

His hoarding sounds very focused.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, you've got to give him that. She says, congratulations. Congrats to him for editing that rat army down to just one. Commander Whitehead, the first female leader of the troops. Let's just hope don't ask, don't tell has been repealed in his house.

[Jen Andrews]

By the way, I think that there is going to be a. The pendulum is going to swing because I feel like now I know this for myself and for a lot of people that I know that we don't keep anything like the fear of being cluttered, the fear of having too many collectibles. It's kind of a reaction against our parents and grandparents. But now we're not saving anything and so we're losing all the memorabilia of our life. We don't keep photographs anymore because they're all digital. You know what I mean? It's like I almost feel like now in 10 years there's going to be a new show about, you know, my house is bare and I have nothing.

[Luke Burbank]

Right. I'm, you know, living in a 3,000 foot, 3,000 square foot loft and I just have one folding chair.

[Jen Andrews]

Yes, exactly. Because now I feel like so panicked about how I don't want to be a hoarder that I don't save anything. And I'm starting to Wonder if in 10 years I'm going to regret that. I don't, I haven't saved any keeps, you know, I don't have anything to speak of for my life for the last 10 years.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's funny, I mean, I think you raise a really good point because people now use like hoarders as a, as a sort of shorthand for. We have a closet that we call the hoarder's closet here. And it's the only thing in our house that is like has an out of control pile of stuff. And it actually doesn't any longer because Vanessa got too freaked out by it. But it's like even having one closet where there was stuff piling up was enough to make us worry or at least make me worry that we were starting to like fall into a pattern.

[Jen Andrews]

Yes, exactly. Because it starts like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Ironically, I watch the show Intervention and I also get as drunk as possible while watching would be like I was stacking up old pizza boxes everywhere in the room while watching Hoarders.

[Jen Andrews]

I don't know if we're viewing our PWP programs correctly, but I guess we are where we are, man.

[Luke Burbank]

There are a couple more on the horizon that look amazing. One is called Beyond Scared Straight.

[Jen Andrews]

What does that mean?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if it means you're scared gay. I don't know if it means you're like emboldened, you're so off drugs that you're on drugs. Yeah, exactly. You've gone so beyond being scared straight that you now have no fear.

[Jen Andrews]

You're high on sobriety.

[Luke Burbank]

Something weird is gonna happen on that show and I'm gonna watch it. And then there's a show called Heavy, which is. It's very clever actually marketing by the AE people. Cause it's. You kinda. It kinda almost looks like it's the biggest Loser. Because there are people who are extremely, extremely overweight. But the ad campaign is like, this is not a contest. There is no prize money. It's supposed to be the sort of like, super, real super not, you know, glammed up for Television America story of people who are £500 and more trying to lose weight. So it looks really fascinating. I'm gonna have quite a winter, Jen. Watching my PWP shows is what I'm trying to say.

[Jen Andrews]

I just like it. Vanessa couldn't have gone to Argentina at a better time.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. Oh, my God. I wonder what's going to happen when she's gone. Because I have so many bad habits and bad impulses that are just all the time just bouncing around like. Like. Like radical isotopes in my body, bouncing to the edge of my skin and then bouncing back inside. Because I think Vanessa would never let me do that. And it's like, for a month, it's just going to be like, we should. We should go play poker for 33 hours before we have to report to duty at Cairo and host a talk show. I know that's going to seem like a great idea on a Sunday.

[Jen Andrews]

And between you and your subconscious.

[Luke Burbank]

Yep, yep, yep. So we'll see if I survive the month of February. I'd say it's. I'd say it's 30, 70. I live. And by the way, I am taking action on that. If anybody wants to bet me. All right, that's. I think that's going to do it for this. For this nice, compact, efficient haiku of a imaginary radio show on this Tuesday. Just a reminder before we go that we do have an official sponsor of the program. They are called Chateau St. Michel, and they are a winemaker out there in Woodinville, Washington. Very generous support for our show is appreciated because they're a big reason you can get this show for free. If you want to show them the love and thank them for all of their awesomeness, you can just go to tbtl.net and on the right side of the page, there's a little button that attaches to their website. It says vintage Reserve Club on it and what that thing is. And we've been hearing from lots of tens who have actually joined this and are totally digging on it. You join up and you pay a little quarterly membership fee, and then they mail you wine at a discount. Wine just, like, shows up at your house, and it's good stuff, too, so make sure you take advantage of that. And if you're in a grocery store and you see some Chateau St. Michel, grab a bottle or 12 to thank them for their support of TBTL. Chateau San Michel, the official wine sponsor of TBTL. Because if there's one thing we're official about, it is our wine. And on that note, I'm gonna go have some Chateau St. Michel as I sit on my couch and enjoy my snow evening. Jen, enjoy. Enjoy the rest of your night there in Fort Wayne.

[Jen Andrews]

Okay, thank you. I will. All right.

[Luke Burbank]

As we like to say on this show at the end, no mountain too.

[Jen Andrews]

Tall and good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, indeedy sa.