#1475 (Missing Original Title)

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL #1475 (November 20, 2013)

Main Theme

In this episode, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh dive into themes of self-improvement, personal routines, anxiety, and the struggle between accepting oneself and striving for change. Their candid, humorous conversation weaves between the anxieties of moving, the psychology of messiness, and deeper existential reflections triggered by a documentary about people facing the end of life. Sprinkled throughout are moments of self-deprecation, classic TBTL banter, and insights into how people form habits and assess their own behaviors.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Anxiety Over Life Transitions and Change

• Andrew’s Move to LA: Andrew discusses the anxiety and emotional upheaval involved in preparing to leave Seattle for Los Angeles. He describes how productivity and meetings temporarily buoy his mood, but anxiety always creeps back (“Today is Wednesday... I can’t shake the anxiousness. Can’t shake it, just feel like everything just seems overwhelming.” [04:27] Andrew).
• Relationship Dynamics Under Stress: Andrew notes how relationship partners often stabilize each other's moods, but stress is contagious, particularly during life changes.

2. Messiness, Blind Spots, and Self-Perception

• Luke’s Epiphany About Mess: Luke shares a revelation about how his nightstand clutter suddenly disgusts him, despite years of not noticing (“I had never seen it before, though. Do you know what I mean?... Like, I just felt terrible about myself.” [06:11] Luke).
• Personal Blind Spots: Both hosts admit everyone has areas where mess or disorder coalesces unnoticed (“We all have our places...somewhere.” [11:17] Andrew).
• Routines vs. Motivation: Luke discusses how he needs a “special zone” or reward system to tackle chores, while others (like his wife, Carrie) simply execute tasks without ceremony (“All the planets have to be aligned for me to want to do something that feels mundane.” [12:25] Luke).

3. Can Adults Truly Change Their Habits?

• Permanent Change vs. Temporary Fixes: Luke laments his tendency toward temporary bursts of improvement and questions whether true behavioral change is possible for adults (“Can we, as humans, really permanently change our behavior in adult life going forward?” [17:21] Luke).
• Embracing Imperfection vs. Constant Battle: The debate centers on whether to accept intrinsic flaws or fight perpetual battles for self-improvement—settling somewhere in between (“You’re creating a fantasy world if you think...you’re going to figure out the key to being the perfect human being.” [24:03] Andrew).
• Notable Quote:
  • “Or I could just say, ‘eh, I’m human,’ and be fine with it…” ([23:52] Luke)

4. Therapy, Routines, and Individual Differences

• Routine as Coping Mechanism: Both hosts agree that establishing routines partially mitigates the difficulty of dreaded tasks, such as laundry or gym visits (“I have a routine built around that, and it doesn’t bother me at all.” [15:16] Andrew).
• Comparison and Self-Compassion: Andrew rejects the notion that he’s an achievements machine, emphasizing even he lets things slide (“I never feel like even the mixes, the little intros...sometimes I will go a few weeks without doing…” [22:25] Andrew).
• Quote:
  • “You gotta routinize that.” ([22:58] Andrew)

5. Viewer Participation and TBTL Community

• TBTL Uber Promo Code Game: Luke and Andrew recount the flood of creative (and sometimes personal) guesses for the Uber live show promo code, revealing how listeners connect with recurring show jokes and personalities (“Doormat’s not great. I’m gonna be honest with you. Not a great feeling.” [28:09] Luke).
• Observing Audience Perceptions: The code-guessing game becomes an impromptu survey on how listeners perceive Andrew (“This is a little sort of...a survey on how people perceive you.” [28:00] Luke).

6. Confronting Mortality: Watching “Time of Death”

• Luke’s Fascination and Discomfort: Luke describes being drawn to the Showtime documentary “Time of Death,” which soberly follows terminally ill people (“It’s a documentary series where they follow people...how the end of their life comes…” [29:11] Luke).
• Coping with Death and Finding Peace: He reflects on how the show, while intense, provides a sense of peace about death and highlights the emotional closure possible in dying (“...it made me feel a little bit less afraid of what the end of my life might look like...” [31:32] Luke).
• Andrew’s Perspective: Andrew distinguishes between the fear of being dead and the terror of dying itself (“I've never been scared of death, but I've always been scared of dying, which is kind of a distinction there.” [34:10] Andrew).
• Value in Closure: Luke notes the value of closure at the end of life, exemplified by a reconciliatory scene between a dying man and his ex-wife.
• Quote:
  • “There was something about the way this guy’s life ended—I thought, that’s amazing, for him to get to say he loves his parents…this woman…amazing closure.” ([36:46] Luke)

7. Tonal Self-Awareness and Show Meta-Commentary

• Levity After Heaviness: The hosts use an injection of clown music and self-parody to acknowledge and deflate the episode’s heaviness (“I assume that in post you’re just gonna put, like, clown music under this whole. Always, always.” [37:02] Andrew).
• Meta-Reflection: Luke argues this episode refutes claims that TBTL “is never about anything of any substance” ([37:46] Luke).

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “I might have tacos when I go home. I’m not quite sure yet.” – Andrew [02:08]
• “The difference between somebody like you and Carrie and somebody like me is that if I get totally in the zone...I gotta get in this special zone when it’s time to do the laundry.” – Luke [11:25]
• “Has there ever been a laundry room in an apartment building that hasn’t been a place that seems like murder should go on?” – Luke [13:22]
• “You’re creating a fantasy world if you think that...you're going to figure out the key to being the perfect human being.” – Andrew [24:03]
• “...you’re the kind of guy that when you...make a decision, you just stick with it because that’s just the way you’re wired.” – Luke to Andrew [21:20]
• “Doormat’s not great. I’m going to be honest with you...” – Luke, reacting to Uber code guesses [28:09]
• “I don't think that, like, I'm not, like, against it...I would not watch it, because...I've always been scared of dying, which is kind of a distinction there.” – Andrew [34:10]

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Notable Timestamps

• 00:00 – 02:34: Opening banter, anxiety about moving, and end of a chapter for Andrew
• 04:27 – 11:25: Realizations about personal messiness and routines; “blind spots” in tidiness
• 12:25 – 17:21: Routines, motivation, and the challenge of changing adult behavior
• 17:21 – 24:03: Existential self-reflection; can adults really change?
• 25:31 – 28:32: Meta on therapy and Uber live show promo code responses
• 29:11 – 37:02: Deep dive into “Time of Death,” attitudes towards mortality, closure, and confronting the end of life
• 37:02 – End: Levity break with clown music, show self-reflection, and mentions of topics not covered

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Episode Tone

The episode alternates between humorous self-examination, honest vulnerability, and tongue-in-cheek meta-commentary. As always, Luke and Andrew’s banter is self-deprecating, warm, relatable, and marked by a wry, observational humor, even as they explore some weighty, existential topics.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Tell me, tell me, tell me, tell.

[Andrew Walsh]

Me, tell me, tell me, tell me, tell me.

[Luke Burbank]

Do yourself a favor. Come and work for us. The glittering prizes and endless compromises shatter the illusion of integrity.

[Corky]

So do you want to come and work for us?

[Luke Burbank]

You have no idea what I'm talking about, do you? Track one, side one, the Hemispheres album by Rush. Do yourself a favor and download it. Delete one of your Dido tracks. Let me put it in plain English. I don't dance to Dido, dude. I know there was a lot of Ds in there. Before you say anything, TBT EL.

[Andrew Walsh]

The most boring show with a brand new host.

[Corky]

Hey, yo, I'm an at risk kid.

[Guest or Music Performer]

And I think it's cool to sell drugs.

[Corky]

Hold up. Why does a kid selling drugs sound like he's black?

[Guest or Music Performer]

He's not.

[Corky]

Well, why not? Are you saying that black people can't sell drugs? No, I'm not saying that.

[Andrew Walsh]

We have a black president. Why can't black people sell drugs?

[Corky]

I don't know where you get your content concepts from. Man, you're really up. You may hate us, but I gotta.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tell you, we hate ourselves more.

[Corky]

Okay, can I just say I feel.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like I'm on MTV right now.

[Corky]

Wait till Downtown Julie Brown comes out, then you'll really get that feeling. On this Wednesday afternoon edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. I don't think the heavy stuff's gonna come down for quite a while. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. This is episode1475 and collector series weighing in at 192 pounds. Sometimes you wear stretchy pants in your room. It's for fun. We spent hours and hours getting this show ready for you today. It's gonna be amazing. Oh my God, that's so crazy. Why? Because, you know, we appreciate you guys tuning in for this little program and we wanna make, as Corky would say, a sweet smelling show for you. Which is exactly what we have on this Wednesday. With the help of this guy. I might have tacos when I go home. I'm not quite sure yet. Andrew. Hello.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hey, how's it going?

[Corky]

Good man. How's the preparation for departing Seattle, Washington for Los Angeles, California going?

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, it's all. It's all neurons firing. At the end of the day, Luke, I'm having an anxious day. Nothing changed between yesterday and today. But I need you to know.

[Corky]

Were you less anxious yesterday?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I mean, I go through, I go through. I ended the day.

[Corky]

A lot of Alcohol every night. Trying to not feel your feelings.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to think. So it was. What's today?

[Corky]

Today is Wednesday.

[Andrew Walsh]

So far, I'm doing great. Okay. I knew that today was Wednesday, so Monday would have been the first day that I woke up, you know, like, the first day after closing down the old night show. As a matter of fact, as Ron Upshaw post on my Facebook page, today is the third day of the rest of my life, as he put it. So Monday was a day where I.

[Corky]

Woke up some of my favorite Bright Eyes songs.

[Andrew Walsh]

I knew, you know, I had a list of things to get done. I got a lot of things done on Monday, just, like, taking tons of stuff to the Goodwill, just really, you know, packing, making stuff done. Had a. A lot of great meetings with some folks over at the new job. And then. And then Monday night, you know, Genevieve came home, and she was. She was working all day, of course, and comes home and the house is kind of in disarray, half packed, half not and stuff. And, you know, I could just tell that she was very anxious. I can imagine how that would feel. Like, you know, if the shoe were on the other foot or whatever. It's just kind of like, oh, you come, you leave the house at the beginning of the day, and it's exactly like the house you've been living in for five years. And then you come home and, you know, from a hard day at work, and it just. Everything is kind of upended, like. Yeah. And so I could just tell that she was anxious, and I was feeling really good Monday night. And I was just saying, you know, don't be anxious. Like, this is. This is great. Like, we're so close to doing what we've been wanting to do for a long time and everything. And then. So it's one of those things where I feel like when you're in a relationship, any kind of relationship, you. If one person maybe is overreacting a little bit, the other person will be the stabilizer, you know. Yeah. So I was feeling great Monday, like, got a bunch of shit done, et cetera. And then yesterday, I just woke up really, really anxious. Really anxious about things. As the day went on, I had a few more work meetings. The more I talk about work, usually, the better I feel about it later. I got some more stuff done yesterday. I was feeling good this morning, though, man, it's. What time is it? It's 1213. I can't shake. I can't shake the anxiousness. Can't shake it just feel like everything just seems Overwhelming.

[Corky]

I'm kind of having the same kind of day, really. I'm not moving anywhere that I know of. But I just had this feeling right before you came over. I was upstairs skinning dressed, and I was. I looked over at. Of all things, just the mess of stuff that's on the night table next to my bed. Like, I looked over because I don't think of myself as a messy person. Right. If you look around the house, you'd say this is, like, it's. It's a reasonably clean, organized place that's mostly Carrie.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I was gonna say.

[Corky]

But. But it's. You know, it's. It's. It's. It's. It's not. There are some people who are more sort of obsessed with spotlessness, but also there are people who are much less obsessed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I've never come over here and the place has been in disarray or anything like that.

[Corky]

Right. It's pretty. It's a fairly organized place downstairs. And I think to myself, like, yeah, you know, a part of being an adult human who's functional in the world, who's not a loser, is that you? You know, you kind of clean things up. You don't live with big messes everywhere. But I was sitting. There's a couch in our bedroom actually, like, at the far end of the room. And I was sitting on this little couch. I was putting my shoes on. And I looked over to where my side of the bed is, and Carrie has a little end table on her side of the bed, which has one book on it and a lamp. And I looked over to my side and then where my little end table is, and there were 15 books. An old. Like a. This memory drive that. Like. Like a computer part, basically. Like a thing you hook up to your computer to. What would you. That a.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like an external hard drive.

[Corky]

External hard drive. Some free drink pogs from the Tattletale.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll take those.

[Corky]

Absolutely. No, I've got. I've actually got a bunch of those and just, like, a variety of crap. And it was so. I had never seen it before, though. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's something in your house that you have. For some reason. This sounds like couples therapy. I. I hadn't. For some reason, I had never seen how just horrendously disorganized this looks. Like this is the kind of thing that, like, if you were to go into a flop house and they found somebody dead on a mattress that had, like, no sheets on it, you'd look to the side of that sad, sad person. And you would see that nightstand. You go, yeah, figures. Like, I had that.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think that person is going to have the same types of books on their book stand as you do or on your nightstand.

[Corky]

Well, whatever the books might be, they're like. It just was. It was just disorganized and gross. And all of a sudden I felt like. I just felt terrible about myself. So I set about to trying to organize it, but then it was like, you know, I sort of kind of straightened it up. But then I just felt like this is pulling at the thread on a. On a poorly knitted sweater, like, because you were going to be here in like four minutes. So I was like, what I really need to do is I need to change everything about my life so that I'm not the kind of person who just has like a pile of random shit next to his bed that he never even notices.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've been walking around the world feeling.

[Corky]

Good about myself when this was just going on. I didn't even realize it.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I mean, we all have one, like. Like one, let's say, weakness in the membrane of our neatness.

[Corky]

I have like multiple. Because if you go in the bathroom that I tend to use the upstairs bathroom. Again, it's like. It's not the worst. Like, for instance, one time I went over to the mummy's house when he lived in la. We both lived there. And I went into this bathroom, which I think he shared with some roommates. It was the most upsetting place I've ever been in my life. And I've often thought about that as the. Like somebody had. There was somebody who was always shaving in the bathroom. But then the scum that was on the sink, like the old, I guess, soap and toothpaste and shaving cream, a thin layer of that. It was serving as a kind of an adhesive landing area for the whiskers. So basically the whole sink. The sink looked like it was a member of the band ZZ Top. It had a beard. It was covered in human hair. Because anytime human hair was shaved off around the sink, it just stuck to the sink. So I always. I often think of that as kind of what not to do. So my bathroom that I use is one step above that, but it's still pretty bad.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's probably more than one step above that.

[Corky]

I don't know. I just am feeling. I'm. I know you came in like you have real stuff you're dealing with, and all of a sudden I'm just laying this on you, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, no, the neat thing, it's kind of interesting because you know, me packing up the house, it's like we all have our blind spots, right? And I hesitate to say, you know, I don't think Genevieve would mind me saying this. You know, I'm the neat freak in the house, right? And she's less so.

[Corky]

Uh huh.

[Andrew Walsh]

And that's sometimes a point of tension, you know, but we kid around about it and we joke about it all the time and talk about it. But you know, Genevieve one time said to me, she's like, I just don't see it after a while. Like if I take. Let's say it's. She went somewhere and had a. She came back with a tote bag full of stuff, right? She went to a party, filled up a tote bag, took it there, she's back from the party, doesn't need it anymore. It's got a wig and just other. Just detritus in there. She will set the bag down next to the bookshelf and then if nobody touches it for two days, it disappears from her mind's eye. She just doesn't see it. She sees past it. And that's how we have these little messes. And I think we're all like that to varying degrees now. To me, these little messes, whether they're mine or somebody else's, really, really stand out. Which is why I'm on the far other end of the spectrum. Like I'm obsessive about like putting everything in its place and cleaning everything up and like, just like getting. Having all the countertops cleared and everything. Because if there's something sitting there that's out of place, it just like screams out to me. Having said all that, while I'm moving here and I'm looking around at my, my upstairs, it's like, oh well, my attic is my place where I just like, I can't believe. I just can't believe that. I just like I'm digging and I'm throwing all this stuff away and just cleaning up and I'm just looking around. I'm like, I have been hanging on to this crap that has just been cluttering up my life for five years and just like piling. We're talking about my CD collection other day, like on top of the CD collection. What you don't know is like has had all kinds of detritus piled there like old little videotapes, the small little DV videotapes just kind of spilling over some junky like One of those spray cans filled with air that I hadn't touched in four. You know what I mean? Just. Just detritus. All kinds of junk and. Junk. Junk.

[Corky]

And then you huffed the compressed air and you felt a lot better. The edge right off.

[Andrew Walsh]

But, I mean, I guess what I'm saying is even me, who I consider to be a neat freak on the. To the point where it's on the negative side of the scale.

[Corky]

It's like I'm walking on sunshine.

[Andrew Walsh]

We all have these. We all have our places. Where? Somewhere. Because if nobody has any place, that's their little mess. Their. Their overwhelmingly messy place, I think.

[Corky]

Yeah. But you know what I want to try to become, and this has been, for me, a challenge. Because it's like, there's the kind of person that we all want to be, that we all aspire to be, and then there's the kind of person we actually are. And I want to be the kind of person who does things even when it's not convenient or easy. Because the difference between somebody like you and Carrie and somebody like me is that if I get totally in the zone, like, doing laundry is a perfect example. Carrie's approach to laundry is you wash the laundry every couple of days, and then you. When it's done, you fold it and you hang it up, and then you just always have stuff to wear. For me, it's like, I gotta get in this special zone when it's time to do the laundry. So it's like, I'll wait till it's nighttime, and then I'll wait till there's, like, a show I wanna watch, and then I'll pour myself a drink. And then I'll, like. You know what I mean? There's a whole. And then if I pull the laundry out and it's like, the next day or somehow there's a pile of laundry I don't wanna deal with the next day. I just won't deal with it. I'll just pick the laundry off the laundry mountain.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Corky]

I do that until it's been worn and then put back in the hamper and then recycled, like, because I don't enjoy everything. All the planets have to be aligned for me to want to do something that feels mundane. And somebody like Carrie, she's just like, well, you know, that needed to be done. And so then I just did it. And it didn't. It didn't have to be, like, a fun, sexy time for her. It didn't have to involve a special soundtrack. Like what I used to do when I had my first kind of apartment by myself when I was in my early 20s. It would get incredibly, incredibly messy because I was a single guy with a kid who was over for part of the time. But I would create these whole systems for myself. So I loved watching Conan o' Brien at that time and I loved making cookies out of the tube. And there was this, like, really upsetting laundry room in the basement of the building. Has there ever been a laundry room in an apartment building that hasn't been a place that seems like murder should go on?

[Andrew Walsh]

They're always upsetting.

[Corky]

So I would do this whole system where it would be like, I would. It'd be 6 o' clock at night and I'd be looking around this horrendously messy apartment with all these dirty clothes. And I would go to the store and I would buy myself a tube of those cookies. And I would say, okay, buddy, when you work through all of this and you have all this laundry washed and cleaned and folded, and the whole apartment is super like spic and span, you're gonna be sitting on this couch and you're gonna be eating cookies and you're gonna be watching Conan o' gonna be totally awesome. And I have to do all of this, like, talking myself into this kind of stuff, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Corky]

And it's like, I just want to figure out how I can become the kind of person who's just like, oh, actually, well, you know, there's like, I should just take care of that right now and then just do it when it needs taken care of and then not have it always be. I'm not just talking about messiness. I'm talking about everything in my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

But you can't. I mean, that's ridiculous. I mean, you're a human being. I mean, don't be wrong. It's good to be mindful of this.

[Corky]

A lot you don't know about me.

[Andrew Walsh]

But he's a small wonder. But, you know, like, I was a.

[Corky]

Refurbished model, so it was a lot cheaper than if you were to buy like the first, you know, the brand new off the assembly line. But I'm really shitty at cleaning.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, ironically, she was a maid. Which, by the way, have we already had this conversation? I mean, we've talked about this for decades, but okay. This family that created a robot had to keep it a secret from all of the neighbors that they had created a robot. But everybody was cool with them having a little girl who is a maid, who dressed like a maid and acted like a maid, like, that's more Problematic than having a robot.

[Corky]

Yeah. Robot is like, call the. Call the Nobel Prize Committee.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Exactly.

[Corky]

Maid is like, call the family service. Call the Hague. Some kind of Geneva Convention is being violated.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like, yes, this is our daughter. She's about 10 years old. Yes. She dresses like a maid, and we treat her like a maid all the time.

[Corky]

She sleeps in the garage. I don't know where she slept.

[Andrew Walsh]

I thought she slept in a closet. Actually, that's another problem. I'm like, that's okay. Anyway, what I was going to say was we all have the things that just kind of stress us out, and we'll just stick with the household chores as the example here. I know exactly what you're talking about. About having to create a sort of a routine or a process around something in a certain way. While I don't mind going out to do the laundry, keeping in mind that I go to a laundromat, I have a routine built around that, and it doesn't bother me at all. But we've done a show about it. I throw in the laundry. I usually make a phone call for a half hour. And then when it's time to do the drying, which takes about an. I go to Clever Dunn's, which is the little bar right up the street from my laundromat, and I have two beers, and then the laundry's done. You know what I mean? And I really kind of look forward to it because I built that kind of process, that routine around it, which I don't think that's wrong. I think that's a good thing. That when we have to do something that we don't want to do, you create these routines to make it more palatable. That's good. And also the idea that, oh, you just want to make sure there's nothing in your life that's like that. I just don't think that you can do that. For example, some people might feel that way about washing dishes. Right. Happen to be lucky. Because for me, washing dishes is the thing that I do when I should be doing something else. I kind of like it. Like, I don't dread doing the dishes. I actually, when I'm just kind of, like, stressed out about something, I'll look over, and if there's a dish in there, I will manically, you know, wash all the dishes in there. And I. It's my moment of Zen. I stare out the window. My brain is working. I have no problem doing the dishes. Folding clothes cannot do it. I don't know why. Like, I Don't know why my brain works this way. Same with you. I don't mind doing laundry at all, but if Genevieve weren't around, I would. Would be constantly dressing myself out of the basket until there are only a few things left in the basket, and then I would dump them unfolded into a drawer, and then do the long. I hate folding clothes so bad. Like, there's nothing that's ever going to get me to like it necessarily. So we build these routines around it, and we know that sometimes these are the things that will slip in our lives, but we'll get back on it. Like, I just don't think that you're up to some sort of level of. I don't think that you're up to some sort of level that is of concern. You sound like human.

[Corky]

Well, here's what I think the larger question for me is, can we, as humans, can we really permanently change our behavior in adult life going forward? Can we identify something about ourselves, whether it's our level of physical activity, whether it's the way we treat other people, whether it's, you know, being a more neat person? Are we capable of really changing our behaviors permanently? Because what I'm really good at is changing things on a temporary basis. You know, we're doing this. This eagle soaring thing. I've been running a lot, and we're doing this on December 1st, where a bunch of us are going to get together and run the Seattle half marathon. Great. The question is, though, will I continue on exercising? Will that be a permanent change in my life, or is it just a temporary thing? If I go upstairs after we're done with the show and I really fully organize the bedroom, the parts of the bedroom that where my crap is just piling up. Great. But is that just a temporary thing, or is there a way that I can actually. If I'm trying to drink less, if I'm trying to say, okay, you know what, like a couple of glasses of wine with dinner on a given night, that's fine. Nine glasses, probably not necessary. Right. Like, if I can. The question for me is, can I? And so this is a small thing, this thing by the bed. But I think it's bugging me because I'm really wondering if I am actually able to change who I am or change the ways that I tend to act, or if I. If I'm just cursed to be who I am. And if we all are essentially just. We sort of are who we are, and that's it, you know? And, like, we're always going to have all of these things about ourselves that we don't really love, but we're more or less powerless to change them.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think that you have to take.

[Corky]

Each one and you thought you were depressed. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Trying to figure out if this whole conversation is making me feel better or worse.

[Corky]

Wait till we get to the first actual topic, which is about this new show I'm watching, which just follows people who are dying.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, are you watching that?

[Corky]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, let me say. Let me respond to you, and then we'll move on to that.

[Corky]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Because I heard about that the other day. I was like, why? I can't handle that. But, yeah, I think that exercise, maybe in this, and we're all different, but all. But I think you have to keep in mind the instances as well. I've been, with exception of this week, because my routine has been so screwed up. I haven't been in the gym in several days or a week almost, which is bad. But for the most part, I got into a routine, like, what, six months ago, maybe more, when I went to the doctor and I realized how overweight I was. So I started going to the gym. And sometimes I don't like it, Sometimes I really dread it, but it just really became part of my routine. When I had tbtl, the night show, the gym, I just worked into my routine. It never felt like I was shooting for something, and it never occurred to me that I wanted to stop or that I would stop. Now I'm a little bit worried about how this whole thing, how this whole move is disrupting my routine. And when I get to la, I now need to recreate that routine again. I need to figure out a new way with my new schedule to make sure that working out isn't the first thing to go, because it's the easiest thing to go. But for the most part, if I hadn't had this huge disruption in my life right now, I'm not going towards anything. I'm not losing tons of weight. I'm just a little bit healthier. And more importantly, I just needed to do it. I didn't feel awake until I went to the gym.

[Corky]

But I see you're the kind of person I'm not. When you talk about cleaning. No, cleaning things, like, I'm talking about you. You are the kind of person that once you make up your mind, I should start doing that, then you just start doing it. Like you make these intro mixes. That thing we played at the top of the show. Right. You said, I'm gonna start making those. You have now made 150 of those.

[Andrew Walsh]

Your goal is to 46.

[Corky]

146.

[Luke Burbank]

Your goal.

[Corky]

Your goal is to make a year's worth. So then we can just.

[Andrew Walsh]

Then I can quit.

[Corky]

And by the way, you're wrong when you say we need 365 because there are weekends.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that's true.

[Corky]

We really need 265. That's great. I just did. Just lopped 100 intro mixes off of your to do list.

[Andrew Walsh]

But that means I'm quitting TBTL even sooner. I'm quitting a hundred TV show soon. You're like one of those.

[Corky]

There was like, you know, when they had those quarters, those commemorative quarters, they said that there were old people who were staying alive just to get to the 50th quarter. That's you with these interests. No, but I mean, you're the kind of guy that when you. And this is one of the things that I really admire about you is that when you make a decision, you just stick with it because that's just the way that you're wired. Like, and it's probably not fun all the time, but it doesn't always have to be a party for you to want to do it. And so I think with you and the working out and the tub salad and everything, you just sort of said, hey, this is something that I need to start doing. And you started doing it. And I think your chances of sticking with something are better than my chances because just of the differences in our personalities.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think so. I mean, I definitely do think that there's a huge difference in our personalities. Whereas you are more goal oriented, especially when it comes to the fitness thing or the fitness weight loss thing. Like, you do best when.

[Corky]

Which is how I lose most of my weight is slashing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right.

[Corky]

It's a little minor home surgery on the old stomacho.

[Andrew Walsh]

And hey, the pain lets you know you're alive.

[Corky]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

So, you know, in some ways, we are very different about that. But I am not. Like, I just really would warn you not to categorize me as this guy who's like, he gets stuff done. Like, yeah, I get some things done. But also, trust me, I never feel like it. I never feel like even the mixes, the little intros that we're talking about, sometimes I will go a few weeks without doing. I sent you one today. I can remember the last time I sent you one. It was weeks ago. And actually, much like exercise, that's often one of the first things to fall off my list when things get kind of overwhelming for me, those are fun to do, but they're also something I gear up for. When I'm downstairs watching tv, having a few beers, I'm like, oh, I have enough. Then I will go upstairs. And it is kind of like a routine. I do routinize that.

[Corky]

I mean. But see, here's the thing. We gotta move on from this. But here's the thing. I feel like there are two things, and this goes for so many parts of my life. There are two ways I could go with this. I could either constantly fight to try to shore up every loose end of my life and be a person who doesn't have things like a nightstand that's cluttered and covered with crap that looks really, to me, disorganized. Or I could just say, eh, I'm human and be fine with it. Or same thing with, like, exercising. With any part of my life that I'm not loving, I could just say, not any part. But you know what I mean? With the normal amount of things that are kind of not working for me, I could say, well, I am who I am.

[Andrew Walsh]

But somewhere in between there, though. No, because you don't want to be totally complacent and be like, oh, I'm a pig. This is just who I am. Oh, I interrupt people. That's just who I am. I'm not gonna work on changing that about me, you know?

[Corky]

But another thing that I was thinking.

[Andrew Walsh]

A little funny, because I am kind of interrupting. You had this friend in high school who I had this friend in high school, would interrupt me like crazy one day. I just called him out. I was just like, it drives me crazy. I'd be in the middle of a conversation. I'm overly verbose. I know, but I'm in the middle of overly explaining something, and then he'll just literally interrupt. At one time, I remember he was just like, I love quarters. Like, I swear to God. And another time, he interrupted me, I'll never forget. And he said, mittens are great. Like, we're walking down the street. I just like. And I turned him. It was one of those instances.

[Corky]

Was this Tony? No, no, no.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is high school. I turned to this guy. His name's Ian. And I turned to him. I'm just like. Like, you constantly interrupt. Like you got. I was in the middle of a conversation, and he's just kind of like, sorry, dude, I interrupt people. Like, that was his response, which I found so galling like that. So you don't have to be the guy who's just like, Hey, I interrupt people. Hey, I'm a messy person. I'm gonna live in a slovenly room, or, hey, I'm going to be fat, or whatever it is. Like, no, you don't want to do that. But you also, I mean, I think that you're creating a fantasy world if you think that, like, you're going to figure out the key to being the perfect human being, where you wake up and you don't have any anxiety or you're not behind the eight ball on something. We're all going to be behind the eight ball on something. And frankly, if you live mostly a clean life and you have the one kind of issue is this little corner of the house that your visitors don't even see yet. You don't have to live with it, clean it up, and then say, hey, it looks great when it's cleaned up. You'll be inspired to keep it a little bit cleaner for a while. You'll fall off the wagon. In six months, you'll clean it up again.

[Corky]

You know what's really nuts about this conversation we just had? After this, I am going to therapy. I have actual therapy after this. This isn't even the therapy. This is the lead in to an hour of talking about annoying stuff.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, sorry, I thought that for 35 minutes.

[Corky]

I didn't mean to digress that way. Here's something that makes me feel good. Things are coming together for the live show from the Uber headquarters tomorrow at the Smith Tower. We had Uber, our friend Uber Gen, create a promo code for people if they wanted to try to get on the list. It's a very small list. It's like 10 people. They wanted to get on the list and get to come down and watch us do the show there at Uber and have some drinks and some food and all that. And what we decided to do yesterday was to not even tell people what the password was. We just said basically guess. And within about, I think, like 45 minutes or an hour of the show being posted, all 10 spots had been taken. So I guess we. I was thinking that, like, maybe one person would figure it out. And then today we have to come on and give some hints. Are we really. Am I really bad at coming up with.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, you didn't want to come up.

[Corky]

With what I think of as difficult things for people because everybody figured it out really quickly. And it was, of course, tacos. I might have tacos when I go home. I'm not quite sure yet. But people were on the Facebook page talking about all the different things they had guessed at.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I have some of them here. Let's see. So somebody posted a photo of the promotion has a redemption limit. Too many users have entered the code. So everybody got that message if they were too late. Let's see. Our friend Dr. Jim tried new Hampshire. Drew Hampshire. New Hampshire with a space. New Hampshire with a space with a question mark. So that one is New Hampshire. Then Tacos was his final one, but.

[Corky]

It was two late.

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess it was too late by the time I got to tacos. Our friend Christy said that tacos was her first try. Smart, smart lady. A woman named Wendy all said tacos. My first guess. Oh, somebody tried doormat. Sierra tried doormat. Feminist and beard. None of those worked. DJ tried Walsh Key, my favorite Wu Tang. I love the fact that somebody's like, what do I think of when I think of Walsh? Oh, yes, the Wu Tang Clan. I'm pretty much the furthest thing from the Wu Tang Clan.

[Corky]

Yeah, this is really kind of a. This is a little sort of, you could say, a survey on how people perceive you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. Which is why I'm obsessed with it. Doormat.

[Corky]

Doormat's not great. I'm gonna be honest with you. Not a great feeling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew Dice. Walsh Dice. And then eventually got to tacos. Yeah. And that's pretty. Professor Bananas. That's my cat's name. Somebody tried New Andy. I like the fact that somebody tried New Andy. Somebody tried Communist hat and puttering.

[Corky]

Well, thank you to everybody who played along. We do have the. The folks that are going to be coming down to watch us do the show, but. But we are going to head over to the Nightlight right after that. So at 8 o' clock, we'll be at the Nightlight. And we'd love to see you down there. This is a Thursday night. Tomorrow night at 8 o', clock, we'll be at the Nightlight. So come spend some quality time with us. I don't know if we even have time to really get into this, but. Yeah, I have started watching this TV show on Showtime. It's called Time of Death, and it is a documentary series where they follow people. This is, by the way, sorry, kind of a glum show. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

You and I are having our. We're both anxious and now we're talking about death.

[Corky]

Well, I mean, this is what happened. Like, I was watching the show. Carrie was on Monday night, I started watching it. Carrie was off working on a project with some friends and she came back home and she just walked in and was like, what are you watching? Because it's like a guy who's. I mean, he's dying. And this is a documentary show. It's not fictionalized. And I said, it's this show on Showtime about people who are terminally ill and how the end of their life comes. And she was like, why? And then last night we were watching something and I was like. I grabbed the remote. She goes, you're not putting on your dying people show, are you? And so anyway, I get that it's a weird thing to want to watch. And I think the reason that I find it interesting is because I'm pretty afraid of. I have been in my life pretty afraid of death. I don't think I'm that afraid of death right now. But my younger life, I think I was. The interesting thing about not being as afraid of death as I used to be is it's kind of a sign that my life has gone downhill. Because there was a period time where I was like, life is so unbelievably wonderful all the time that I can't even bear the thought of not doing this anymore. And then now I'm at the point where I'm like, yeah, you know, there'd be some upsides. Yeah, you know what I mean? I'm not making light of people who have actual suicidal thoughts. I just mean I'm not terrified of death because I'm like, yeah, it'll be over and there'll be some parts about being alive I don't miss.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'll tell you one thing, screw the nightstand.

[Corky]

I have been. That's why it's so messy. So I was watching the show and I was trying to understand why it was that this was intriguing for me. Because, I mean, it's intense. It is intense. I have not been at someone's bedside when they have passed away. I'm sure many of our listeners have for one reason or another. But I was, you know, so this was as close as I've gotten. And these are people I did not know. They were following this guy who'd had a cancer and his parents are with him. His ex wife comes back. Now, the thing about this show, I would say to Showtime's credit is there's no reality ification of it. You know what I mean? It does not appear that they're trying to do anything other than just very soberly document what an end of someone's life kind of looks like.

[Andrew Walsh]

They respect the material they appear to.

[Corky]

You know what I mean? Like, there's no. There doesn't seem to be any ginning it up or trying things to orchestrate anything. But I guess the reason that I found it interesting was because I thought, you know, in watching this, in seeing this guy and what the end of his life looks like, it made me feel a little bit less afraid of what the end of my life might look like now. Of course, I might not be in hospice care. I could be walking across the street, hit by a truck or whatever, but I don't know, I just find it really, really interesting. But then I also find it weird that I'm interested in watching something like that.

[Andrew Walsh]

How does it make you feel when it's over? Does it make you feel anxious about. Obviously, you watch them like this, you reflect on your own situation in life. Does it make you more anxious or does it make you more at peace?

[Corky]

I think, and it's interesting you'd ask that, because, like, my defense of watching the show Intervention is that when you're watching Intervention, your greatest hope is that the person will get help. You know what I mean? You're not rooting for the worst. Like, when you're watching the Real World on MTV back in the olden days, you're rooting for them to have a fight in the Jacuzzi, right? You're not. You're not rooting for the betterment of humankind. You're rooting for the kind of the worst elements, because that's entertaining. But when you watch something like Intervention, if you're me anyway, you're like, boy, I really hope that the coda to this is that the person actually got clean and sober and can rebuild their life. Like, that's a successful episode of the show. And kind of related, at the end of an episode of this Time of Death show, I think I felt peaceful. I felt peaceful for the person who had passed away. I felt peaceful for their families. I mean, their families. I've only watched one full episode, and their families were very, very sad. And I'm not trying to tell anybody how to feel about a loved one dying, but their families also said to some degree that there was peace in knowing this person was not in pain any longer, et cetera. And I don't think I've ever seen that side of somebody dying either. So to me, it was just really, it's a view into a part of life that we are all going to experience, right? The end of our life. But I. But. But again, it's like, I'm not a person who likes scary movies. Like, I don't like fictionalized, you know, I don't know Sadness and horror and fear. Really. I don't. I don't like that in the fictionalized sense, but for some reason, when it's a real person, which you could argue is more trouble, like a real person taking their final breath. Right. I find that interesting. But I would never watch one of those Paranormal Activity movies or one of those Saw movies or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, I don't. I mean, honestly, though, I mean, I think. I mean, to compare those is just. I mean, I haven't seen this show. What's the name of the show again?

[Corky]

It's called Time of Death.

[Andrew Walsh]

Time of Death. Yeah. No, I mean, to compare them, and it just sounds like it's completely. Completely different things. I. I wouldn't watch this. I was listening to some show, some radio show, and they were interviewing somebody related to this. This new Showtime show, and I. I thought to myself, I just wouldn't watch it. It's. And I. I think. I don't think that, like, I'm not, like, against it. I don't think it's a bad idea to make something like this. I think that. And it sounds like the filmmakers, you know, from a production standpoint, I understand why somebody would say, we have to do this series. Like, this will be amazing, and I'm sure it is. And I'll bet you it does bring comfort to a lot of people who've been through it or maybe going through it and something like that. I would not watch it because you said that you're scared of death or you have been in the past. I've never been scared of death, but I've always been scared of dying, which is kind of a distinction there. And so, like, the process of dying just scares the hell out of me. That's why it was so hard to watch Breaking Bad in that first season, you know, when he was, like, dying of cancer, you know, and you just think.

[Corky]

So you're fine with the being dead part? It's the.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have no concerns about an afterlife. Not afterlife. What I'm gonna miss on this mortal coil. Like, the idea of being something that existed one moment and ceased to exist the next moment does not cause me any kind of, you'll miss me. A little different. Like you said, there are some upsides, but the.

[Corky]

Son of it.

[Andrew Walsh]

But the process of not knowing what's going to happen at the end of your life, I think the ideal is a bolt of lightning just out of the blue, strikes you down in the middle of your happiest moment on that.

[Corky]

But you know what? For instance, in this case. In this case of this. This guy who this particular episode was kind of following, he had had a really bad relationship with this. He had had this ex wife. They'd been very much in love, and then they had had a terrible, tumultuous relationship that had been really. That had been awful. It had been violent. You know, she had cheated on him. He had physically abused her, apparently. And it was like, 15 years later, and she comes back at the end of his life. And again, this sounds like it's hokey and orchestrated, but I'm sure it wasn't. I mean, it's like, she gets there. He's very close to death, and she's holding his hand, and she's not saying, like, oh, I want to, you know, be with you again, or like, oh, I regret. You know, it's not like they're not trying to fix everything. But he says, I'm sorry to her, and she gives him, you know, a hug. And I thought, wow, that's, like, amazing closure. And, like, how. What a fortunate thing to get that. You know what I mean? I used to always think that, like, a bolt of lightning is definitely the best way to go, but think about how much that leaves everybody else in your life just kind of like. Like, wow.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Corky]

You know what I mean? Like, there was something about the way that this guy's life ended. I thought, that's amazing for him to get to say he loves his parents. You know, they were there. And the. And this. This woman who he'd had a relationship with. I don't know. This is a really, really dark show for a Wednesday.

[Andrew Walsh]

I assume that in post you're just gonna put, like, clown music under this whole. Always, Always.

[Corky]

Do you know. Do you know that I've been doing that for. This is usually the first, probably four to five minutes of every show. You have not listened in a long time. This is a little palette cleanser. I think we get the idea.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, man.

[Corky]

All right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Dedicated to the art.

[Corky]

You know what? I'm just gonna say this. I will. For all the people who think that the show is never about anything of any substance, I would just submit this show as a complete and total opposite experience.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, was this substantive, though, or was it, well, subscribed?

[Corky]

Listen, can you tell I'm already dealing with enough today? Sorry, can you not on the show, please?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Okay. Sorry.

[Corky]

Thank you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good job today, Luke.

[Corky]

Thanks. Thanks, Andrew. Thanks for bringing the funny. Okay, listen, we are. Believe it or not, we're gonna have to go, but. Yeah, that was the show. Today, that's what. I don't know why that happened. We didn't get to talk about the Arcade Fire making their their fans wear formal attire to their show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I didn't know about.

[Corky]

Maybe we can talk about that tomorrow at the Uber Live show. Yeah, let's get into that because they sent out a tweet that basically said formal attire or costumes required to come to their show. We didn't get to the backlash about the Toys R Us comments that I made yesterday regarding the commercial listeners. Backlash? Yeah, they were not. People were tweeting at me. People were on the Facebook page. People did not really seem to agree with me over kind of defending Toys R Us.

[Andrew Walsh]

So they call it hot talk radio. We never know what you're going to say next.

[Corky]

That's right. That's right. We're bringing you some of the hottest talk ever. And well, we also have a pile of emails we haven't gotten to, but we'll do all that hopefully tomorrow if we can, from the offices of our good friends over there at Uber. In the meantime, try to. And I know it's not going to be easy based on what I just did to you for 35 to 45 minutes, but enjoy the rest of your Wednesday. We'll see you tomorrow. Until then, please remember, no mountain too.

[Andrew Walsh]

Tall and good luck to of you all.

[Guest or Music Performer]

When it's central so essential it has a nice ring when you laugh at the low life opinions and they're coming to the chorus Now I keep my address to yourself Sweeney Secrets Sweeney Secret Cracks crack, crack cracks back right now Because I never want to make you feel that you're so sure Believe in what you want to do and do you think that is a major flaw when they rise up in the falling rain and if you stay.