#4363 Baring Our Solstice

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live - Episode #4363 Baring Our Solstice Summary

Release Date: December 20, 2024
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh

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1. Introduction and Chatter (00:03 - 02:00)

The episode begins with a series of advertisements promoting Pure Moods and AT&T Superstore, featuring humorous interruptions from Andrew Walsh. Despite the ads, Luke and Andrew quickly establish their playful rapport, setting the tone for the episode.

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2. TARP Talk and Home Improvement Woes (04:42 - 12:17)

Topic Overview: The hosts delve into the complexities of the Troubled Asset Relief Program (TARP), humorously misinterpreting it initially as a home improvement issue involving tarps. This segment blends real financial discussions with slapstick misunderstandings, showcasing their chemistry.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank (05:36):
  "When we say tarp, we do mean I've been struggling with the Troubled Asset Relief Program."

• Andrew Walsh (05:40):
  "That's what I'm talking about. Exactly."

Discussion Points:

• Creative Solutions: Listener Christine suggests renting a U-Haul box truck to create a dry workspace, which Luke humorously credits to unnamed listener Justin.
• Tarp Tips: Meryl Listener advises against tying ropes directly to tarp grommets, recommending wrapping tarps around rocks for better durability.
• Personal Anecdotes: Luke shares his anxiety about tarps during the night and the minimal rainfall paradox in Southern Washington, emphasizing the unexpected challenges of home projects.

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3. Weather and Seasonal Reflections (12:17 - 20:09)

Topic Overview: The conversation shifts to the shortest day of the year and the contrasting experiences of winters in different regions. The hosts reflect on Seattle's mild winter compared to harsher climates like Chicago or Cleveland.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank (12:37):
  "But the getting dark at 4:30, that to me is a definition of a bad winter."

• Andrew Walsh (14:34):
  "I just personally need to remind myself I never want to forget how great winters are here in Seattle."

Discussion Points:

• Regional Differences: They compare Seattle's rainy, gray winters with the snowy, harsh winters of the Midwest, debating what constitutes a "bad" winter.
• Personal Preferences: Andrew expresses frustration with others complaining about the mild winter, while Luke enjoys the ability to see grass and enjoy mild weather in December.

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4. Local Events and Community Stories (20:09 - 35:02)

Topic Overview: The hosts discuss local events such as the Fremont Solstice Parade and humorous anecdotes about naked bike rides. They also touch upon tow trucks and their quirky presence in Seattle.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (20:25):
  "I'm not a big fan of face paint, let alone body paint. So that is not a scene for this old man."

• Luke Burbank (31:35):
  "How is it that Bluetooth technology has perfectly achieved the ability to never connect with anything I want it to connect with and always connect with something I don't want it to connect with."

Discussion Points:

• Naked Bike Ride: Both hosts humorously debate the feasibility and social acceptance of naked bike rides in different seasons.
• Towing Tales: They reminisce about the iconic Lincoln Tow Truck in Seattle, discussing its unique design and the adversarial relationship many have with towing services.
• Technology Frustrations: Luke vents about his struggles with Bluetooth connectivity, contrasting it with the simplicity of older technologies like wired speakers.

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5. UFO Sightings and Mass Hysteria (44:46 - 51:14)

Topic Overview: The conversation shifts to recent UFO sightings in New Jersey, paralleling them with historical events like the Seattle Windshield Pitting Epidemic of 1954. The hosts explore themes of mass hysteria and public trust in institutions.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank (45:02):
  "It's like people start saying like describing people as male and female and like they start talking like cops the second they start getting into like kind of neighborhood watch."

• Andrew Walsh (49:55):
  "It's collective delusion, not mass hysteria, supposedly."

Discussion Points:

• UFO Phenomena: They analyze how unexplainable lights in the sky lead to public panic, media sensationalism, and governmental responses.
• Historical Parallel: Andrew reads from the Seattle Windshield Pitting Epidemic, highlighting how collective fear can amplify minor issues into widespread panic.
• Public Perception: The hosts discuss the role of critical thinking (or the lack thereof) in fueling mass hysteria, drawing lines between past and present societal reactions to unexplained events.

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6. Listener Emails and Community Engagement (56:31 - 66:28)

Topic Overview: Towards the end of the episode, Luke and Andrew engage with listener emails, sharing a child's joke and discussing community contributions, while continuing their humorous banter.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Walsh (64:58):
  "He put it on his bill. The bada bada ba is. I mean, that sells. This is. This is how you do it."

• Luke Burbank (65:13):
  "That's a great joke."

Discussion Points:

• Listener Interaction: Andrew shares a joke recorded by a listener's 4-year-old, eliciting laughter and camaraderie between the hosts.
• Donor Appreciation: They acknowledge and thank their financial supporters, reinforcing the show’s listener-supported nature.
• Upcoming Guests: A teaser for a special guest, Nick Jarin, who will discuss holiday films in the next episode.

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7. Closing Remarks and Final Thoughts (66:11 - 66:28)

Topic Overview: The episode concludes with light-hearted banter, affirming their commitment to the show and hinting at future content.

Notable Quotes:

• Luke Burbank (66:10):
  "Power out."

• Andrew Walsh (66:21):
  "No, you're being friendered. So just please accept our compulsory hospitality."

Discussion Points:

• Sign-Off: The hosts wrap up the episode with their signature humor, encouraging listeners to tune in next week and thanking them for their support.

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Key Takeaways and Themes

• Humor and Friendship: Luke and Andrew’s longstanding friendship and comedic interplay are central, making complex topics approachable and entertaining.
• Community Focus: Engaging with listener emails and acknowledging donors highlights the show’s community-driven ethos.
• Critical Reflection: Honest discussions about personal challenges, technology frustrations, and societal issues like mass hysteria offer depth amidst the humor.
• Local Insight: Strong emphasis on Seattle’s unique culture and events provides listeners with a sense of place and relatability.

Conclusion

Episode #4363 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful discussions on a variety of topics ranging from home improvement dilemmas and seasonal reflections to UFO sightings and community stories. Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh successfully create an engaging and entertaining narrative that resonates with both regular listeners and newcomers alike, all while maintaining their signature playful dynamic.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Imagine a world where time drifts slowly, a world where music carries you away. Experience Pure Moods, the perfect soundtrack for your way of life. Direct from Europe, this multi platinum collection has won the hearts of millions. Drift with the timeless pleasures of Tubular Bells or take a trip into the unknown with the X Files theme. No other collection gives you the feeling of Pure Moods. To order Pure Moods, call the number on your screen or send check or money order for the amount shown, plus shipping and handling. Rush delivery available. Call now. TBTL.

[Andrew Walsh]

Guess what day it is. Guess what day it is. It's Friday, Friday, Gotta get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend.

[Luke Burbank]

This is a place where people can never have to have contact with another human being if they don't want to and enjoy a live show.

[Andrew Walsh]

What's up, turds? It's Jamo from AT&T Superstore. Right now. You can share your podcast for free with any of your top 5 faves on our Small Business in the Arts program. Sign up and get your audio art project out there online and get out there. Just don't forget to be yourself. Call 1-800-AT&T now and tell them JMO sent ya.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know who that is, and.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't care to find out.

[Luke Burbank]

I love these guys.

[Andrew Walsh]

They make funny with their mouths.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Friday edition of tbtl. The show. It just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

I've seen it on the set and it's heartbreaking.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're like the Daniel Day Lewis of.

[Luke Burbank]

Only Doing One Thing. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Already having some trouble early on in this broadcast because I just realized I'm wearing a ball cap. I don't usually wear a ball cap during the show, but I just. During that intro tape, I felt inspired. Well, the truth of the matter is I didn't really fix my hair this morning much, so I figured I'd throw this cap on. It's hitting against. I don't know if you can hear this. It's hitting against the microphone arm because, you know, I don't usually have this on. So it's my. My range of motion is slightly sort of truncated. Okay. So just bear with me. I've got to adjust everything. It reminds me I was at the Blazer game last night, Blazers playing the Nuggets, and there was a guy and they picked someone out of the audience to come shoot like a Trick shot. You know, he was supposed to, supposed to shoot the ball. He was supposed to stand at the free throw line with his back to the basket and hoist the ball towards the hoop and try to make a shot before, like one minute or something. He was wearing some like big, I don't know, monster energy drink kind of hat. I don't know if it was literally monster energy, but culturally it was monster energy coated and big wide brim and stuff. You know, this guy looked like a fellow who probably was, probably rode in there on a truck which was on a lift kit and he just could not get the ball anywhere near the rim because his giant, his giant monster energy cap was blocking his, his ability to kind of throw the ball properly. Anyway, I feel like that guy here on episode 4363 in a collector series.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

This week the news has been dominated by stories out of the eastern part of the US Particularly New Jersey. People looking to the sky, people seeing lights and unidentified flying objects. Louie, what is that?

[Andrew Walsh]

What is.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm like, I don't know. I don't. What is it? I for some reason resist. I don't know. Look, I love a good story about a ufo. I've been very into those stories about naval pilots seeing objects they can't quite explain. But I was weirdly resistant to digging into these UFO stories and then I did, and then I was really annoyed at Americans. These are identified flying objects. That's the big difference. Anyway, we'll talk about that. Oh, and we're going to talk to this guy, longest running co bro of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He doesn't ask for much on this show, honestly. He is just, you know, he's a hard worker, comes in every day. He does his job. But as we wrap this week up, he has one request of you. The tens of listeners, please clap. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. I want to tell you what I've been up to lately. I've been spending my nights. But before we do that, I want to share with you an email that we received from listener Christine that I think came in probably, well, most certainly too late for your planning purposes and maybe you wouldn't like this idea anyway, but whether or not it's actually practical in your situation, I think it's brilliant. And Luke? Yes. I am introducing TARP Talk again, day five of TARP Talk here on tbtl. TARP Talking. Tbtl. Christine says I'm a couple of days behind. So just really, really quick setup. You've been wrestling with various tarps to try to create a dry area in your yard where a person who's tiling your bathroom can go outside and cut tile without getting wet in the rain. And so you've been struggling with that all week. And Christine says, I'm a couple of days. By the way, when we.

[Luke Burbank]

When we say tarp, we do mean I've been struggling with the Troubled Asset Relief Program.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what I'm talking about. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

The mid-2010.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did forget about TARP. Did I get any TARP money? Do I have any TARP money laying around? Wait, no. Was tarp. That wasn't a payout program, was it?

[Luke Burbank]

Or was it was a Troubled Asset Relief Program? Yeah, the treasury established it. I think it was the 2008 bailout.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay. Program created by the US government to.

[Luke Burbank]

Help stabilize the financial system during the 2008 financial crisis. Remember when all we were talking about was tarp?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, I do. And I think of it as an Obama program. But am I. Is my. No, I think it was. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I think Obama. That's right. That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Obama impression, people.

[Luke Burbank]

I thought that was your George W. Bush as he was going to cut more brush in Crawford. Finally, this is our turn to cut brush. And. No, you don't. Oprah, listen, please clap.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm trying to do. Please clap in Obama voice. I don't do impressions, and I should probably just step away from that anyway. But Christine says, this is so exciting. I'm a couple of days behind. You probably already solved your TARP dilemma. But if not, I have a suggestion. You could rent a small box truck and park it in the driveway and run an extension cord. Like think like a U. Or Christine says, I think U Haul isn't that much money per day, and since it's not being driven, you wouldn't add up the mileage too much. Had you thought of that?

[Luke Burbank]

You know who else suggested this? Somebody named Justin.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

Justin said, hey, I don't know how long the tile projects last, but I thought it might work. To rent a U Haul box truck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So two. Two great minds working together, but without knowing it to suggest that. Also, I got an email from. Let me see if I can find this somebody. Yeah, Meryl Listener. Meryl said, don't rely on tying the rope to the grommet. Okay? The grommet is that little circle that's punched into the tarp, and it's metal and it's supposed to create, you know, so the tarp doesn't rip, says don't rely. Don't tie the rope to the grommet. Wrap a chunk of the tarp around a small rock, and then you tie the rope around that. Then you tie the rope to the anchor. So I think you use. You basically are. You have more surface area or something to kind of hold because the. One of the tarps that I used ripped apart immediately. As far as the box truck goes, that's a very, very creative solution. And had I not finally just gone to the tarp district at the harbor freight and gotten this heavy duty tarp that I'm looking at right now, I might have had to do that. This one seems to be doing just fine. I did have a moment of panic at about 3:00am Andrew, this morning because as I've mentioned, this exterior wall of my house, the outside of my house, basically where this whole situation is going on, the interior of that wall is my bedroom now. And it's like literally the wall that the headboard of my bed is pushed up against. And so in the middle of the night, I just heard this flapping noise. And I was like, okay, the wind is kicked up. This thing is going to be blowing wildly. Not only is it going to be keeping me up, but it might be tearing itself, you know, might be tearing itself apart or ripping the hooks out of the whatever. Exactly. And I was like, I finally know what Tommy was o was talking about. And I just thought the last thing I want to do at three in the morning is go get on a freaking step ladder too. Because what I should have done yesterday before I went down to Portland for the blazer game was I should have done my plan, which was to kind of unhook this thing. So, like, when not in use, have it unhooked. Because, you know, to be honest with you, since I put it up, Andrew, guess how much rain has fallen here in Southern Washington? About zero little inches.

[Andrew Walsh]

Interesting. We're getting a lot of rain up here.

[Luke Burbank]

It has totally stopped raining. It's the irony of this whole thing. So really I should just have the whole thing like just in the. At the ready for if it's needed. And it hasn't been needed yet. But I didn't do that. I was kind of running late. I was hustling out of here. And so anyway, three in the morning, I start hearing this flapping and I'm like, I can go outside and get up, you know, put on my slippers, put on my house coat. Put on my. My cap, you know that like get my candle that's on the little holder.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And my cat. My snoozing cap that I wear.

[Andrew Walsh]

Cap. Yep. It kind of pointy, but it.

[Luke Burbank]

But it flops down. Grow some mutton chops and tiny little.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wire glasses and bad breath probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, definitely. Well, I'm way ahead of you on that. And go out there and deal with it. Or Andrew, I can just shut the window. Door number two.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's what the other pillow is for. The other pillow is for putting on top of your head when you don't want to hear. I was white pillows. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

White pilled. I closed the window and I went blissfully back to sleep. And this morning I looked outside and it was totally fine.

[Andrew Walsh]

So the flapping was just maybe a bird of prey.

[Luke Burbank]

No, it was a little bit of wind, but not anything like we were dealing with earlier this week. It was just a normal amount of. Just a gust here or there. I mean, this whole thing didn't need to be. First of all, it didn't need to take up nearly the amount of time on the show it has. And it also didn't need to be such a hassle. I decided to try to put this other one up on the like windiest day we've had in five years. And that was a terrible idea. And also the guy wasn't even cutting tile that day. It was totally and completely useless and pointless.

[Andrew Walsh]

You talked very much about how terrible the weather was on the one day that you were trying to put it up. But we never explicitly said. And then maybe this is where we leave tarp talk. But we never just talked about. About just the. The. What I am going to describe as the general unpleasantness of dealing with a wet tarp, even if it's not currently raining. When I think of a tarp that has been out in the rain collecting those just random puddles of water in its tarpiness here and there, whether it's been laying out on the ground or nooks and crannies. Just like, just the idea of having to like kind of bundle up and in the wind, like grab that and just know you're going to be getting wet. Like there's just something.

[Luke Burbank]

So no matter how much you think you've gotten all of the water out of it, there's one more pool of it that you didn't know about of just like rust water.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Then water that has been collecting inside something that you didn't realize it was collecting. And over the course of a season A tiger.

[Andrew Walsh]

Water and a tire.

[Luke Burbank]

The worst. Also mosquito. Breeding ground.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

But like, it's just like, you pick something up to move it, and you didn't realize that it's, you know, hollow aluminum. It's like aluminum tubing. And you pick up, like, an outdoor, like, piece of furniture to move it, and you didn't realize that there's been water collecting inside one of the hollow legs of it. You pick it up to move it, and then that water just starts leaking out.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right on your shoe. Right on your shoe. And probably your jeans into your shoe. Yeah. Ugh. Nasty. Nasty.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, one of life's worst experiences.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, today. I thought you had mentioned this at the beginning of the show. Today's the shortest day of the year, but then you start climbing back out of it. Didn't you have a calendar where you were tomorrow?

[Luke Burbank]

Believe. Right. Am I wrong?

[Andrew Walsh]

Today? I thought I saw today as the shortest. I mean, it might be different in Seattle if it's today.

[Luke Burbank]

Even better. I guess we're on this roughly the same schedule.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't. I mean, I don't know. What time is it there?

[Luke Burbank]

It's like 6am I can't believe you're up.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's so weird. It's 7:14 here.

[Luke Burbank]

That's very. Tomorrow is the. Tomorrow is the shortest day of the year. December 21st.

[Andrew Walsh]

What was the stranger telling me?

[Luke Burbank]

You read that rag?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right. Okay. Saturday, December 21st. I mean, apologize for. For spreading false information. Swear I saw the stranger saying that today was the shortest day of the year.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder if they got some bad intel.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have.

[Luke Burbank]

I got to tell you, Andrew, I've had it. I really. The only reason that I was, like, kind of feeling semi confident that it might be tomorrow is just because it's been legitimately circled on my calendar.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, I believe you.

[Luke Burbank]

I know not liking the dark weather shouldn't be someone's whole personality, but I literally sent Becca, like, a pep talk text this week that said. That said, like, hey, just so you know, Saturday is going to be the shortest day of the year, but that means Sunday is going to be the second shortest day of the year. And then. And then Monday, the. You know, however that works. Like, we're going to. We're climbing. We're getting the nose up. We're climbing starting Sunday morning. And just the knowledge of that somehow was helping me fight the depression.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And actually it's been a very nice winter here, though, I would say. Like, I. That's one thing I've noticed. Like, I just. This Weekend I saw again and I have a chip on my shoulder because I feel like it's increasing the people talking about the big dark and everything. I'm just like, I'm living in a city in December and I'm watching people out in public in their shorts. People are wandering around in their shorts. Now I'm not saying everybody would be comfortable in their shorts, but like it is not uncommon to see somebody like running to the grocery store in their shorts in Seattle in December. And I'm just kind of like that just is not the definition of a tough winter. But that's me coming from a place that has winters.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely. I think that gets to. That gets to like a Midwest or just like basically everywhere, you know, else in the country that isn't Washington, Oregon and California. And like let's throw Florida and Hawaii in there. But you know, well, okay. The sun Belt states. Okay, fine. It's an Ohio thing. Andrew, get it together. No, like, in other words, I think your thought about a bad winter and I've never lived through an Ohio winter, so I actually really can't say from any experience, but the idea that because it's not frigidly cold, like dangerously cold to be outside, then that means it hasn't been a bad winter. And I think our perception as people that grew up in the Northwest of a bad winter is like if it's actually clear and snowing, I'm pretty stoked. If it's just kind of gray and rainy and you just kind of. It's just like you're always having to kind of like hustle from your car to the store and everything. That to me. And it's getting dark at 4:45. That to me is a definition of a bad winter. But I think that's like you said, attributable to just us growing up with different ideas of winter.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I. Cause I went outside, I like was taking out my gar. I was taking out the garbage bins. I don't know if I ever mentioned that on the show, but I do.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I saw the photo this week on the ascended social media platform Blue Sky. I believe you said it was a nice day or something. You were very happy with putting the garbage out. Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I didn't. Yeah, I couldn't think of anything pithy to say, but I. Yeah, I don't know, I just, I guess, you know, I was taking out the garbage and I'm wearing like a short sleeve shirt and I'm just like, oh yeah. And it's a like oh, yeah. This is just like. This would be. This would just be so ridiculous. So I continue to be. I try not to be annoyed by people overly complaining about it, which I do think is generally a thing people do around here too much. But I just personally need to remind myself just. I never want to forget how great winters are here, because I remember coming here from New Hampshire, and, you know, this is 2009, 2010, and for, like, so long, like, going outside to the car or whatever, not wearing a jacket, not, you know, not. Not hanging. Not having a picture picnic outside in December, obviously, but just being able to exist, being able to walk outside and see grass, to literally see grass in December is such a. Is such a pleasure. And so, like, I don't. I never want to lose sight of how nice this time of year is here in Seattle because it's still special to me.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, like I said, I can't. I've never tried to go through, like, an entire winter in, like, Chicago or the Midwest or one of these places where it just gets brutally cold. My. When I've been in those places during the winter, I've noted that it's cold. I've always thought, well, I'll just wear more clothing. I'll just wear a warmer jacket. And the idea that, like, it's. I'm not stepping in, like, you know, rivers of water every time I step off the curb. That, to me, feels like a w. Like, I wonder if I moved to Chicago, if I would be like, we're having a great winter. And everyone's like, what are you talking about? It's horrible. I was like, yeah, but I didn't get rained on at all this winter.

[Andrew Walsh]

There's a lot of pot. I mean, I know you spent a lot of time in Chicago, but, like, there isn't, like, black snow and puddles all over the place in the wintertime. I mean, that's what I remember. Like, just.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I think it depends on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

How. How recently it snowed. Because I also think it's not like, if I understand right. There's not a permanent layer down. Right. It's not like, one of those places. I mean, was that, like, what it was like in Ohio, in Cleveland, does it snow at some point, and then the snow's never really gone for the rest of the winter in Cleveland?

[Andrew Walsh]

Not snow. I mean, it kind of depends. And my memory of Cleveland itself is a little bit foggier. I do remember Mo to New Hampshire and being sort of surprised by the constant snowpack there. And so I know there Is a difference. I just remember Cleveland just getting. Just once it got to be wintertime, it was. The snow would come. The very first night of snow is nice and special and magical. But then very, very quickly. It's just constantly, constantly gray. I mean, in the sky. Like it's not like Cleveland had like sunny skies to combat the. The, you know, what else was going on. It was still like a gray place. And then just constantly. I just. Now I'm thinking of like news footage from the 80s too, which is not fair because it's got an extra layer of age and greatness on it, but just like constant dirty black ass snow and crunchiness and water and like. Yeah, not like a constant. I feel like New Hampshire would refresh a little bit more with like a new coat of paint every. Every couple of weeks in the. In the wintertime. Whereas Cleveland just was. I just remember being just m. Miserable and always wet and crunchy and kind of like I say, like that black greasy snow all over the sidewalks and everything.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I. I know. I'm just saying the same thing over and over again. But for me, the. It's not even the rain. It's the getting dark at 4:00 thing. That, that really. Or not maybe not four, but 4:30, whatever the time is there.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's 4:20 today. That's what I was gonna say. I just.

[Luke Burbank]

For whatever it's worth money.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know it's 419. Got a minute? That's part of our TBTL branding.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it is.

[Andrew Walsh]

The Stranger. Seattle. I'm confused by the way this is written. Who wrote up this blurb? Hannah somebody. And happy Solstice. Welcome to the Longest Night. Maybe that's what.

[Luke Burbank]

That's classic Stranger.

[Andrew Walsh]

The sun set at 4:20 today and won't come back until 7:55 tomorrow morning. And then Solstice day is officially tomorrow. So anyway, I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Does that mean. Is there a naked bike ride?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh God, there probably is. I am not into the naked.

[Luke Burbank]

Bro. I know you're going down to Fremont to. To pop a peep.

[Andrew Walsh]

I will be popping nothing.

[Luke Burbank]

We can't keep you out of there, man. No, it's kind of weird.

[Andrew Walsh]

I said I'm going to Fremont to pop a peep and they said you are literally not allowed to come to Fremont anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

You, sir, are on a watch list.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right, the. The naked bike. Right. I'm not a big fan of face paint, let alone body paint. So that is not. That's not a scene for this old man.

[Luke Burbank]

I Think that. But is that. That's. This is the. It's one of the days. It's either the shortest day or the longest day where there was famously a naked bike ride in Seattle.

[Andrew Walsh]

Although, is that the. Would that be the spring or do they do it?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Anyway, I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

Seattle naked bike ride. Oh, you know, I think. Let's see. Fremont Solstice parade. Oh, it's. It's June.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, that would make more sense because we were just talking about how the weather here, which is like, I wouldn't want to be naked.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, precisely.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, I want to be naked in June either, to be honest with you.

[Luke Burbank]

But it would be better than being naked in December, I think, for some of us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Or maybe it wouldn't because fewer people would show up to see my naked body.

[Luke Burbank]

Ah, sure. But if that's. But if. Of course, if that's the goal, then just don't go in the first place.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's true, too. I thought this was a court mandated thing. I got a little. I got a little swept up in.

[Luke Burbank]

The court mandated that you are not allowed to go. You don't understand what the term trespassed means. I've been using that phrase a lot on the show lately, just because somehow the thing last night when I was at the basketball game, I was. I was there with my sister Hannah and my nephews, little Luke and Ian, and my. My Becca's brother Scott, and my kind of quasi nephew Alexander. And do you put that in the Christmas card?

[Andrew Walsh]

Dear quasi nephew Alexander, season's greetings from your quasi uncle.

[Luke Burbank]

And anyway, the game was really fun. Wait, why did I bring that up? Where was I going with that? There's some reason for that.

[Andrew Walsh]

We were talking about nudity and the law. So that's why you brought children into it, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. They asked me, somebody said, how are you gonna feel? I said something about what I was seeing on TikTok, And I think they said, how are you gonna feel like, if TikTok goes away? And I said, you know what? Relieved. Like, it's like, how. How are you gonna feel if they take away your, you know, your drug that you're addicted to? It's like, scared, but ultimately relieved, probably.

[Andrew Walsh]

How do you live in J. Piven? Is what I always want to know.

[Luke Burbank]

Precisely.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, what is the latest on, like, I keep hearing people reference that again, like, the end is nigh, but I haven't actually read up on the latest.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the Supreme Court has agreed to take up the case, which is kind of interesting. And I mean the basic, the, you know, I think it's January 19th, I think is the date that what will happen is if, if, if TikTok. So TikTok's argument is that this is a First Amendment issue for the people that post on TikTok. So ByteDance, the parent company, and that's, you know, obviously based in China, they're saying, look, by banning TikTok in the US you are actually stifling the free, the First Amendment rights of the people that want to post on TikTok. And the Supreme Court will have to decide if this alleged national security interest of, you know, could China use TikTok to mine personal information as if that's not already happening in a billion ways.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, right, right.

[Luke Burbank]

It's such a weird, it's such a weird priority for, for, for people to, you know, for certain politicians to kind of focus on. But like just because there's a million other ways that our personal data is just getting mined all the time, often voluntarily. But so basically the Supreme Court's going to hear the case and, and I guess if they, they'll either rule fur or again, bite dance. The other thing ByteDance could do is they could sell tick tock to some American company and then, then it would, it would, you know, and then the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Americans will totally take care of our data and everything will. Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

That's the thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

The private industry will look out for us.

[Luke Burbank]

But so here's what's actually, I guess going to happen like as far as the practical thing like let's say January 20th, will I be able to look at TikTok? Yes, it will still exist. They're not going to come scrub it from my phone. But what's going to happen is the app stores won't be allowed to offer it anymore as a download. And as it. Basically what will happen is it will just deteriorate slowly over time on your phone, which is very weird. Like it'll just become buggier and kludgier and you won't be able to update it and then it'll just finally crash and that'll just be it.

[Andrew Walsh]

But it's not like Sonosing, I believe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, exactly. Except I didn't pay $2,000 for TikTok. Bastards. Every morning I start my day with a battle with Sonos.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you still do? Because I know that you had the Sonos system and I'm referring to a while back, I mean this goes back years now, but they basically said like this expensive system that we sold for a long time and that you bought a version of. We're going to stop supporting that basically with the apps and everything. That sort ties together the whole system. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

They brick it and what you were using and. And guess what? Now I'm using the newer ones.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, they. So you.

[Luke Burbank]

They won. I have two, like pretty substantial Sonos speakers that are just in the basement, not plugged into anything because I don't even know how I would get them operating on the. What I wanted was one of the newer speakers that's portable that I could like bring out to the deck and stuff. But in order for. To make that one work, the. The earliest generation ones could no longer. There's just no way for them to all be on the same system. So those ones are just. I don't know what. They're just kind of sitting there now. But it's a whole thing where I have to like, you know, sometimes, you know how this. We develop these weird workarounds. So I have a sound bar from Sonos and it's. It's obviously connected to my tv. It's for watching tv, but it also is an independent speaker. But when I'm turning on the system in the morning, I can't start with the sound bar because it gets confused. I have to start with this portable speaker. So I have to turn. I have to turn all the speakers off, turn on the portable speaker, which then allows me to slowly turn on all the other speakers. Like there's a certain order I have to do it in or the system gets totally confused.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not how it's supposed. It's a special bite dance that you have to do to get the speaker.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

So can I tell you.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you mind if I jump in and tell you about what I used to. So just I think last week I finally installed wired speakers and my little kind of dart set up here. So our friend. By the way. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

You just sent me this amazing photo that I'd like to get more info on.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, yeah, I told you. I want to tell you what I'm doing with my nights. I'm trying to recreate a 1980s living room photo that I went online a few nights ago. I'm still trying to learn this graphic design program. So what I've done and I've been playing around, you mentioned yesterday on the show, I've been like making weird little TVs and trying to like, put them on Instagram and then put content inside the TVs as just a little weird Little, like, practice experiments for me. I don't know if that really made sense, but that's the amount of energy I'm willing to put into that sentence right now. And so I did one the other day, and then I was like, well, what's my next challenge? And again, I'm just doing all this for no reason other than learning and whatever satisfaction I get at the end of the night or in the wee hours of the morning from, like, trying to make stuff. And so what I do is I found some, like, photo of, like, maybe more of a 1970s, I would say, living room.

[Luke Burbank]

This is what you guys are gonna do in your basement. And I was.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, no.

[Luke Burbank]

Freaking excited.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I'm just. I just wanted to show you what I've been dinking and dunking around. Dude, this is.

[Luke Burbank]

I would live in this basement.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no. So I found a really cozy, sort of, like, 70s modern basement and with a little TV in it. And so little by little, I am using my program to recreate this myself. Not, like, copy and paste it, but actually kind of scheme it out. And then.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, like a blueprint.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like a blueprint now, but I. It's almost like I'm playing dollhouse at night because, like, little. This all started as just individual lines, and now I'm learning how to fill it in. And then eventually, once I have all the walls and cabinets set up, then I'm gonna start populating it with furniture or whatever. I thought you would like that living.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my gosh. I'm so into this. Except again, you kind of. You kind of got me feeling some kind of way, because I thought I was actually for. Has Walsh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Has Walsh Inc. No, this is my dollhouse. This is my digital dollhouse. Don't rule it out. Yeah, maybe someday. But that does sort of tie into what I wanted to say regarding Bluetooth. So our friend, as I think you know, Roden, made us these nice speakers years ago, now, maybe five years ago, as a holiday gift. And we didn't have a. For various reasons, they didn't work well with our other, like, sort of systems. Like, I tried to hooking them up to my TV by throwing an amplifier between them and the tv, but then it wouldn't work with remote. Blah, blah, blah. They just never integrated into our. Into our life that well. Even though I really like these things. While I was over at his house recently, and he's like, hey, listen, you know, I got my record player hooked up to these. They sound pretty good, huh? And I was like, yeah, you know what? Maybe I should try wiring them back into my basement and connect them to my record player, which I did, and it's pretty nice now. But here's the deal. The best thing about it is all I have to do is flip a little switch. Actually, you would love this little amplifier I have. It's about the size of a big deck of cards. It's like the size of a deck of Uno cards. And it's got one metal switch that looks like something you would switch in like a. In maybe like a World War II movie before you're gonna drop a bomb or something like that. You know, like the little switch on the.

[Luke Burbank]

Sure, sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Move the little red thing out of the way, and then you flip the switch. That's the power button. It's very, very simple and clean, and I love switching it on. But what I love even more is that I don't have to do this dance. Now see if you can follow this. I tried to follow your Bluetooth bite dance. Listen to dance that really bit. So my record player, which is now wired to these speakers.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is also a Bluetooth record player. And that's how I've been using it for the past year or so. And so I have this little Bose Bluetooth speaker that's portable. It's a small guy, but it sounds good. And I bring it out of my office, and I would set it down next to the record player. But then if I turned on the record player, the record player, which is something that should be sending a signal out.

[Luke Burbank]

Mm.

[Andrew Walsh]

Connected to the television. Even though the television was off, the television would try to connect to the record player. This doesn't make sense. These are two output devices that would get caught in a loop of talking to each other. And you'd say to yourself, well, then, Andrew, why don't you just turn off Bluetooth on your television? The reason is, and this is one of those things that you would never look up in advance when you're buying a tv, but it's so complicated. The tv, when you turn it off, it automatically turns Bluetooth back on. So if this makes sense.

[Luke Burbank]

So the TV looks like it's off the default setting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes. And it doesn't default when you turn it back on. When it looks like it's off, the TV's actually in a resting mode, sort of. And in the background, it automatic face. It puts Bluetooth back on. So what I would have to do to turn on my record player is go to the tv, turn on the tv, go into the settings, turn off Bluetooth. Are you sure you want to turn off Bluetooth? Yes, turn off Bluetooth, keep the tv.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't do that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Andrew, keep the TV on. Run back in the other room, turn on the Bluetooth speaker, turn on the record player and pray.

[Luke Burbank]

And then you just like mom used to do it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And then it's just like connected to Y E T 17441. And I couldn't, I can't rename the record player. And anyway, it was such a pain in the ass. And now I just come over and I flip a little switch and I'm listening to the Silver Jews. Just like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's. What a great. So what? What? What an amazing moment where old technology has turned out to be so much easier than new technology.

[Andrew Walsh]

One little switch, one little.

[Luke Burbank]

How is it that this is. Sounds like this is a, you know, what's the deal with airlines? But updated to 2024? But how is it that Bluetooth technology has perfectly, perfectly achieved the ability to never connect with anything I want it to connect with and always connect with something I don't want it to connect with.

[Andrew Walsh]

So good at connecting to. Bullshit.

[Luke Burbank]

The only seamless connections Bluetooth makes are with things that I would rather it not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly. I mean, how is it that? It's like, I looked it up, I'm like, why is my TV turning on the Bluetooth every time I turn it off? And so I'm like, is it me? Like, what's going on? I look it up and like, yeah, there are forums of people complaining about this feature. But when you're going to buy a television, you're not usually asked yourself things like, well, will the Bluetooth get turned back on every time I turn it off and will it interfere with my ability to listen to an old Neil diamond record? Like, these just are not the questions you ask.

[Luke Burbank]

What if you basically cobbled together a sort of a cloak of aluminum foil that you just place over the television at all times that it's not in use?

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds good. A TV cozy. A TV cozy.

[Luke Burbank]

And then when you're ready to watch it, you just carefully remove it and put it to the side. But if you leave it on there, it probably won't. The Bluetooth probably won't work. I think foil stops.

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds like a good solution. Thanks, doctor. Thank you for being a tail.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, let's thank some donors who are making TBTL happen five days a week with their financial support, of course. This is a completely listener supported project. I was talking to my quasi nephew, Alexander Yesterday about tbtl. And he said, do you have listeners? And he said, how'd you answer? Not as many as you'd think.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was wondering how. How do we answer that question.

[Luke Burbank]

But thankfully, some of those not as many as you think listeners have taken it upon themselves to help keep this thing going. And it's quite amazing that it works. Folks like James Watt of Oakland, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, James.

[Luke Burbank]

And should use my best Roman Mars voice in beautiful downtown Oakland, California.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can we make James. Do you think we make James a Mariners fan?

[Luke Burbank]

By next I actually, you know what, Andrew of your many or Andrew, would this show sound different if your name was Andrew?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think. Can we try it for a while? It makes me sound smarter. I think.

[Luke Burbank]

It really does. It sounds like you have a graduate degree in something and the longest running co bro of the show, Andrew Walsh.

[Andrew Walsh]

Some Anders energy there. What were you gonna say, though?

[Luke Burbank]

I love this project of basically creating a soft landing for Oakland A's fans with the Seattle Mariners, another beleaguered franchise. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I feel like it's an. I'm not trying to bully anybody into rooting for the Mariners. I just want you to know that I legitimately feel terrible about what happened to the A's 100%. We have open arms and warm cups of coffee up here for you to. We're gonna put a blanket around your shoulders, we'll give you a hot cup of cocoa, and we're gonna invite you to the Marine layer to watch balls just die in the outfield.

[Luke Burbank]

Bring me your. Bring me your tired, your cold, your huddled masses yearning to be free.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Why? Why? I'm just.

[Andrew Walsh]

What are you doing?

[Luke Burbank]

I'm previewing. I'm previewing something that my mouth. My brain is telling my mouth to not say. The thing it's about to say. There is. Because why get political on this Friday? But there is some, like, you know, some guy that owns some property kind of down the hill from me. He's got a bunch of, like, trailers and stuff, like rental equipment. Like, I don't know what this person sort of does, but they have a fairly, fairly large thing of property kind of by the freeway, and they got a lot of, like, you know, a lot of signs.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know this place. I stopped on my way out of town finally to see what it says. I think. Is it a big sign? Like a big trumpy?

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, that's ham. I mean. Wait, are you talking about Hamilton Corner? The thing that has, like a Uncle Sam on it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Maybe it was down like, you Know, out of your little neighborhood, but on like that main stretch there, that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay, probably, yeah, yeah. Did you see a Statue of Liberty?

[Andrew Walsh]

I think so, yeah. I remember it being over the top and I could. I would drive by and I couldn't quite. Because it had such a long phrase. And then I finally. On the way out of town after the drive, after the TBT L. A thon, I just finally. I was like so mad every time I saw it because I just knew. And it's. It had to do. It had this big sign. It had to do with about like when they're. They're taking away our guns and our ability to say anything or something like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, for a while it was like, political correctness is bullshit, but it was a picture of a cow crapping and then it was like a picture of Nancy Pelosi and Biden saying, like. Or how can we be proud of this? Or it's just a bunch of. A bunch of, you know, kind of weird signs that are obviously from one political. But then this person also has like a, like scaled down but still pretty large Statue of Liberty on their property. And every time I drive past it, I want to say, have you read the inscription? Yeah. Right at the base of the Statue of Liberty.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? This.

[Luke Burbank]

We got to build a wall. We gotta, like, we gotta mass deport people. Have you. Are you familiar with the actual inscription on the Statue of Liberty? My. My brother. My brother in Christ.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

What does your dad say?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, brother in the Lord, My brother in the Lord. Have you.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, do you understand the. Do you understand how hilarious it is that you have a statue? Because of course, Your smooth brain 20 years ago was just like, Statue of Liberty, America.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you've done absolutely no research on really what the Statue of Liberty was all about. And. And then it was pretty involved to erect this thing. So you've never taken it down, but over time. Time you've drifted with the political winds into being isolationist and supporting people who are actively, actively working against the interest of families in this country that are mixed status, et cetera. And you still have the Statue of Liberty up.

[Andrew Walsh]

You look like a fool, sir, but no, I guarantee you that they never make that connection in their brain.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, I don't think. I don't think that that is a connection that has been made. I did hear from one of. Now, believe it or not, what I just said isn't even the part I wasn't trying to talk about.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay, good. Now we'll talk about the Part one.

[Luke Burbank]

Of the guys working on my house had some crazy stories about that dude, by the way, the Statue of Liberty dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Which I. You know, involving, like, illegal behaviors and things that, again, fly in the face of someone who is presumably law and order. Right. It's interesting. I guess I'm not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I was wondering if maybe it got uncomfortable because you will often mention you don't know the politics of the people who are working on various projects around your house when you're hiring a contractor. And, you know, given that field, given that part of the state, like, you know, it's very likely that a lot of the people who are working, you know, on your projects are not necessarily in lockstep with you politically.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, this guy who told me that story is in lockstep with me politically, which I found the, like, one guy who pours concrete out here who's like a raging Democrat, which. Which is great. I love it. But he was just telling me. We were talking about that weird. I wasn't going on my statue. My patented Statue of Liberty riff with him. We're just talking about, you know, the area and stuff. And he said, oh, yeah, that guy's a piece of work. He's like. Basically said, yeah. Guy was like. I went over. He was having a tool sale one time and, like, half of the tools were stolen. Like, they were stolen off of job sites.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, geez. Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was like. He was like, yeah. I was like, he's like a bad seed. I think he might have even, like, it might have been a. Like, my guy might have, like, found some tools that were for sale that had previously been his and had gone missing in some way. I was like, of course. This is the law and order guy that's fencing stolen tools. You know, it turns out a fairly inconsistent political philosophy, Andrew, that might be generated or motivated mostly just by feelings. Even though they would like me to f. My own feelings.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I think it makes linear sense. I also think we should probably get back to thinking our donors thinking like.

[Luke Burbank]

Nick Kennedy, the king of ska.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Tacoma, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mr. Tacoma. Mr. Tacoma. Why, sure.

[Luke Burbank]

God, they played so much Pitbull at the Blazer game last night. I think they played three pit bull songs.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did they play fireball?

[Luke Burbank]

They did.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

It's because it's like Pitbull. I think my Scott, my. My sort of. My quasi brother in law. Not my brother in the Lord. My quasi brother in law, he said. He goes, I think that this is exactly why the music of Pitbull was created. It's like it's to be played in 15 second increments while people are running around frenetically on the basketball court in between the moments when the basketball players are doing their thing.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

It's like the perfect. That's the perfect time for that music fireball.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's all you need.

[Luke Burbank]

Now just imagine you're a guy who has a tiny chihuahua that is dunking a basketball that it's holding in its mouth, which was the halftime entertainment, which was one of the greatest things I've ever seen in my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds amazing. Did the guy with the too big of a hat end up getting the ball into the.

[Luke Burbank]

No, he never did. And honestly, he. Here's what. Here's how I would describe this guy. Big Kyle Shanahan energy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kyle. Oh, Kyle Shanahan, the coach of the 49ers.

[Luke Burbank]

You know how, like, I feel like Kyle Shanahan always looks like where he really wants to be doing is towing his jet skis to Lake Havasu. Like, just like what he's got.

[Andrew Walsh]

He's got the, like, eyes on him. I just pictured, I kind of could say a lot of these coaches. I just. They all blend together for me.

[Luke Burbank]

Kyle Shanahan has big, like. Like I'm wearing a. Like I'm. I'm wearing a. Like a baseball cap that I have absolutely not in any way impacted the brim of.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And. And like, it's a little too big, but it's like, it's a look, it's a vibe. And I'm driving like a. I'm again, driving a truck that's like lifted and just has. That's totally murdered out. And I'm towing like $100,000 of like either SU. Like either, you know, ATVs or water ATVs.

[Andrew Walsh]

You are right about water ATVs or something. When he's got a little facial hair, it really emphasizes the ski do ness of the whole.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly. Like, I feel like I could just see Kyle Shanahan. I think I wrote years ago on the failing social media platform Twitter that like after. I think it was after the Seahawks eliminated the Niners or something. It was like Kyle Shanahan last time you were here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sorry, I thought it was a picture. I was just going through pictures.

[Luke Burbank]

A moving picture with voice.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was a talkie.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, one of those old fashioned talkies. That's Rich Eisen, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know who it was. I hit stop, right? I just closed the tab right away because I just played.

[Luke Burbank]

We Love Rich Eisenhower. We stan Rich Eisenhower. Oh, that was the other thing Alexander asked me last night as we were walking back to the car. He goes, do you have stands?

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, we do.

[Luke Burbank]

I said, we do. They're called the Tens. I was very excited to talk about the tens. Folks like Elizabeth Maxwell, who's in Houston, Texas. What up, Elizabeth?

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you, Elizabeth. I'm really.

[Luke Burbank]

The pause you heard was I could. We could have gone with Liz, Lizzie Zip.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I love Zip.

[Luke Burbank]

We used to call my sister Liz Zip.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is a great nickname. I love that, by the way. I mean, I don't even really know who Rich Eisen is. You say that name, it rings a bell. But you're absolutely right. That was Rich Eisen getting ready to interview.

[Luke Burbank]

You'd like Rich Eisenhower.

[Andrew Walsh]

Mike Scorio about Kyle Shanahan. Yeah. So that's great poll. You heard, like, two seconds that voice.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I. Speaking of stands, I've stanned Rich Eisen for many years. He was one of the very, very first Sports center anchors who kind of was droll about things.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Although. Although, he was, I have to say, not the most, like, you know, you had the guys like Kenny Main and Keith Olberman, and these guys were, like, really invested in the. Just the zingers. Rich Eisen was, like, kind of a steadier hand. He didn't zing so much, but he just had a kind of a sardonic nature about him and then ended up kind of branching out into having his own show, which is. It's just always intelligent. It's like, it's reasonably intelligent sports conversation. Like, he doesn't go in for. His thing is not, you know, first take or he's. He's the opposite of a, you know, of a Skip Bayless.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Yeah. He's not just trying to set his Cowboys jerseys on fire to get a Prairie Clicks. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. So, yeah, we do. We like. We like Rich Eisen. We also like Sean Miller. Miller of Seattle, Washington.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, we do. Thank you, Sean.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa. And then what about Gretchen Van Miller.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Of Lakewood, Washington. I'll see your Miller, and I'll do you one better.

[Andrew Walsh]

Van Miller.

[Luke Burbank]

Van Miller.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks, Gretchen.

[Andrew Walsh]

Appreciate it. Oh, I didn't see what you're. Sean Miller, followed by Gretchen Van Miller. I'm sorry. I didn't know what we were doing there. I was just trying to. Yes. And I.

[Luke Burbank]

And I appreciate that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

And that's fine. You don't have to stop.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow. What if the. What if the next name. Van.

[Luke Burbank]

Daniel Vandermiller Lennon of Portland, Oregon. It's actually just Daniel Lennon of Portland, Oregon. Thank you, Daniel. Thank you so much to all of our donors here on this Friday for keeping TBTL rolling.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello, and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you find yourself talking or talking about, reading about or delving into this drone story much this week?

[Andrew Walsh]

I've said this on the show before, and this is just one of those weird stories where it sort of seemed to have bloomed when I was looking elsewhere. And then by the time.

[Luke Burbank]

Weirdly, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then by the time I was trying to get into it, it was already kind of like kind of the past, the peak of the story, and everybody was already just kind of on to how stupid the story was, sort of, if that makes sense. But essentially, yeah. Do you have a better sense of sort of how this began? People just started noticing lights above certain areas of New Jersey.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, it seems like it's just basically a mass hysteria and also local news wanting to make hay. And then people just people not employing a lot of critical thinking skills, and then politicians having to kind of. And various people at different levels having to kind of placate these people who are not really plugging in critical thinking skills. I mean, basically you have some people that are noticing lights of either drones or maybe actual airplanes and, you know, pretty busy corridors, like lights in the sky. And then they start putting it online, and then other people start noticing it, and then they start filming it, and then they start calling the police and their congress people, and they start saying, like, there's stuff up there. No one will explain what it is. And then the media saying, there are people saying there's stuff up there. Nobody knows what it is. And then the authorities going, well, if you look at flight awareness and you cross reference it with everything people are seeing, these are mostly airplanes. There are some drones that are, you know, like, you know, up in an airspace they're allowed to be in. Some of this, by the way, is planets and stars. Like, it's just like. And I think I saw a headline probably in the New York Times or somewhere that was like, I'm gonna kind of botch it here. But it was like, basically, like, reports of mysterious lights in the sky indicate different levels of trust in institutions, you know, and it was basically the long and the short of it was kind of a bunch of folks that, again, I don't think were particularly interested in hearing the real story because it was less fun. We're just winding each other up over this. When it was very, very demonstrably not like it Was. It was very. It was pretty easy to prove that the stuff in the sky is all explainable.

[Andrew Walsh]

So the thing that came out of this for me was a story that I had never heard before. So like I said, I had not been paying tons of attention to this. I knew people were just sort of being a little bit mass hysterical over this, you know, drone situation in Jersey. And somebody on I think Blue sky or some sort of social media site posted a really kind of one of those grainy old clippings from a newspaper from the 50s that was talking about chips in windshields. And I wasn't sure why. And they said this is, you know, basically we were reliving this thing that happened in the Seattle area in the 1950s. And are you familiar, Luke? And I hope you're not because I want to read to you. I just was never heard of this. I was just scanning the Wikipedia article about this, the Seattle windshield pitting epidemic. And I'm going to read to you. This is really well written. I'm going to read to you quite a bit here. I find this story fascinating and since I'm coming new to it, I don't want to just sort of like. Like try to explain it myself. It says the Seattle windshield pitting epidemic is a phenomenon that affected Bellingham, Seattle and other communities in Washington state in April of 1954. It's considered an example of mass panic. It was characterized by widespread observation of previously unnoticed windshield holes, pits, dings, leading residents to believe that a common cause was at work. It was originally thought to be the work of vandals. But the pitting was so great, the rate of pitting was so great that residents began to attribute it to everything from flea eggs to nuclear bomb testing. It began in Bellingham in March. Police thought it was vandals with BB guns. But then they started to notice in nearby cities of Cedro, Woolley, Mount Vernon, the Wolves, all these areas that are.

[Luke Burbank]

All of the Skagit county heavy hitters.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right, things of that nature. Within a week, the news and so called pitting epidemic had reached metropolitan Seattle. As the newspapers began to feature the stor, more and more reports of pitting were called in. Motorists began stopping police cars to report damage. Car lots and parking garages reported particularly severe attacks. Here were some of the things people were theorizing. Some thought it was a new million watt radio transmitter nearby at the Jim Creek Naval radio station. Some believe that it was the probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Como am 1000 in the day.

[Andrew Walsh]

They probably had a 90 share blowtorch cosmic rays. Some thought it was glass bubbles from. Oh, some reported seeing glass bubbles form right before their eyes. They thought it was sand fleas in the glass anyway, as.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, wow, that's wild. So in other words, because glass is made of melted sand, that there was these fleas that survived the process.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Like glass being lost.

[Andrew Walsh]

The wiggly sushi of 1954, essentially. But anyway, then finally. And this is where we'll power out. Finally. Sergeant Mac Max Allison of the Seattle Police Crime Laboratory stated that the pitting reports consisted of quote, 5% hoodlumism and 95% public hysteria. So basically people were just noticing them more. It says it's collective delusion, not mass hysteria, supposedly. But yeah, it was just like people have pits in their windshields. But once you start saying there are more pits in windshields than everybody. Well, there's a pit in my windshield. And all of a sudden all these people in the greater Bellingham and Seattle area started freaking out. In spring of 1954. I found that to be absolutely fascinating.

[Luke Burbank]

Me too. I'd never heard of that. Notice me, senpai. Notice me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Felix Bunnell should do something on that. If he.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's a. That's got. That's got Felix Banal written all over. That's got Mohai implications. That could be a whole wing of Mohi.

[Andrew Walsh]

Certainly could be. Along with the. The toe shaped tow truck.

[Luke Burbank]

Lincoln Towing. Honestly, they can. They can drive that tow truck right off of a cliff as far as I'm concerned. I had to know. Just the fact that I had to retrieve my cars from the Lincoln Tow Yard on more than one occasion.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes, that thing. I thought it had been retired, but then I saw it in an Aurora lot somewhere recently. So I don't know if they. There must be more than one tow. Tow truck.

[Luke Burbank]

Were you like in Seattle? Did you and Vivs get to Seattle in time for that? Tow trucks or. I say original because when I became aware of it, it was living in South Lake Union. It was like basically where all of that Vulcan stuff is now. All that Amazon, you know, that used to all just be like shitty warehouses and stuff. And there was when you would get. I think it was. I want to say it was like the Mercer street exit. The old version of the Mercer street exit. You would. You'd come to some point where you would just see that tow truck. I think they had a tow yard there basically. And that was where it lived forever and ever and ever until that area got developed and they got rid of all that stuff and put in, you know, Google and everything.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know, I'm trying to remember if I actually saw it there or if I. Because it was so iconic and talked about so much. I remember my friends and my new friends here in Seattle talking about it. I know that I definitely saw it, you know, now in the years since that whole area was, like, majorly developed. I do know that they, I think, have the first one in Mohai now, which is why I said that.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh.

[Andrew Walsh]

But I'm trying to think if I actually. I'll bet you we got here right around the time it was being sort of maybe like, retired or something. Because I definitely, definitely know that story, but I don't know if I trust myself to say that I saw it in the wild.

[Luke Burbank]

I know this has been a week of nostalgia for me, talking chubby and tubby and Christmas trees and all this stuff, but, boy, like, I'm just looking at a. A Reddit Seattle page. I miss the tow truck. And it's a picture of the truck. It's like, we're pulling for you. Seattle Lincoln Towing. And then it's this ridiculous tow truck, and there's a. It's got a picture of it towing the. The Kingdome. And then I think about the, like, you know, the hat and boots down in Soto and stuff and Georgetown and like, you know, just these iconic things that were just part of Seattle when I was growing up. Again, I know that I'm not saying anything particularly interesting, but it's weird. Or like, elephant car wash, when you see this stuff, it is. It's. It's such a. You know, I get. They say smell is the sense that most quickly maybe transports you somewhere, but I would say this is right up there. Looking at this tow truck just, I'm, you know, I'm 11 years old, living in Seattle. When I look at this tow truck.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I totally, totally believe that I'm looking at photos of this thing now. It is kind of gross, though, isn't it?

[Luke Burbank]

It also isn't very well made. Like, the. I feel like. I wonder, is there an oral history on this thing, which is. And by that I mean, like, was this a bus that they cut? Like, what kind of vehicle was this before they made it into this?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And also, like, it's. It seems like something, an idea someone had that they follow. It's supposed to be a foot, I guess. I guess the truck is supposed to look like a foot. It's got these toes on top of it, but they're not super convincing.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know.

[Luke Burbank]

I Want to know more about the construction of this truck?

[Andrew Walsh]

I will say this.

[Luke Burbank]

And even though VW van at some.

[Andrew Walsh]

Point, even though it's sort of like we look at tow trucks usually as the enemy. Unless you're like the property owner who needs the car off of your. Like we look at. We have an adversarial relationship with tow trucks. Usually.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're pulling for U. Seattle is such a good tagline. That is. Don't you think? We're pulling for U Seattle is a great slogan for a tow truck company. I mean, the second only to the roofing company whose tagline is excellence is on the house.

[Luke Burbank]

Could you make some money being good guys? Tower Towing Good guys. And by that, I mean your whole thing is this. We're not going to tow anyone because they're parked in a strip mall while they're at the chiropractor. But they're, you know, but they can't prove that they were allowed to be there. You know what I mean? Like the, the predatory version of towing. What if it was good guys towing? And your whole thing is like, we are not going to just randomly tow you and. And hold your car hostage. We're the people you call. Because, like, yeah, we're pulling for UCL is a great. You're right. It's a great catchphrase. Ways untrue, I would argue, depending on if you were me in the. In the 1990s. But like, if you genuinely could stand behind that claim, like, if you could be like, hey, we know a lot of tow companies kind of suck and they kind of like just tow your car and then they're holding your car hostage and then you have to basically do whatever they say to get it back. We're the. We're the people to call if you need your car to it if you're having trouble. But we're the good guys of towing. We are not the gross ones. I wonder if they're be enough. You could generate enough, like, branding and goodwill around that that you might actually, like, pick up some business.

[Andrew Walsh]

You're only towing cars when they're broken down, essentially. Yeah. When someone calls, there's enough business there.

[Luke Burbank]

Though that's probably not. Yeah, but.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also, it's probably just really fun to make people mad and take their cars away.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, so I was talking. I was starting this hours ago now, maybe days ago. I started to say how I'm using the term trespassed a lot lately because. Because I've been seeing tiktoks where people are being like, trespassed from, like, a target or something. Like, they're basically somebody who's been maybe accused of shoplifting or something. And a lot of times the police will say, you're trespassed from this Home Depot, like, you're not allowed to come back on. And I'd never heard trespassed as a verb. Yeah, well, you know what I mean.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I've heard as a verb, as in I'm trespassing. That is.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, okay, I'm sorry. I've never heard it as you can be trespassed.

[Andrew Walsh]

That. Yeah, that doesn't sound. Yeah, that doesn't sound like they're proper.

[Luke Burbank]

It sounds wrong. But it's uniformly and universally, I should say, used by law enforcement and other people saying, we'll have you trespassed them. Yeah, they've been trespassed. Okay, sir, I have to let you know you're trespassed from this property. The use of the word that way always strikes me as kind of weird, but it's clearly gone into some part of my brain because I keep saying that you're trespassed from very serious.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what is an amazing thing is listening to people. You slip into cop talk, which is one of my least favorite kinds of talk when described. Like, I told you, I sort of was opted into this neighborhood email chain. That is not totally unlike.

[Luke Burbank]

Has Genevieve asked you to stop looking at this email?

[Andrew Walsh]

What do you mean?

[Luke Burbank]

I just. Because I could see you reading it and then just getting. Having a lot of theories that then you're going to like, who are you going to tell about it? Genevieve. And then, you know.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Didn't you say you're supposed to stop talking about local politics?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I did. Like, there are so many times where I want it because, you know, sometimes I guess there was this guy, and I think that he has mental illness issues. I don't think he was actually stealing mail. But like a few weeks ago, there's this thing where this guy was going around opening all the mailboxes on the street. And you see that, and it's not great. Our mailbox is very. Is like, you know, knock on wood is very secure. So, like, it's not a concern for us. We have a decent one and nobody can get in there. But if you just have a traditional old mailbox, you know, the kind that you would see in a Looney Tunes cartoon or whatever, and that thing is wide open, and it became clear. And Genevieve even saw this guy and confronted him at one point and got a photo of him. Him giving her the middle finger and saying rude things to her. But the thing is, like, everybody was talking about the male thief. And I don't think he's a thief. I think he's just a guy with OCD because he started putting up like the mailboxes as well. Like, he's not a pleasant character. I'm not trying to defend him and he shouldn't be messing around with people's mailboxes. It's a federal offense, you know. But. But anyway, I didn't feel like there was actually like a threat to our packages after a while. But having said all of that, when conversations like this pop up or hey, we saw this guy on the street. And that's what I don't like is like, hey, we saw this guy. He was pulling a wa. It's like, yeah, because he's poor, he's not. He's allowed to pull a wagon down the street, you know. But they'll always say a white male or whatever. Like people start saying like describing people as male and female and like they start talking like cops the second they start getting into like kind of neighborhood watch. You know what I mean? It's just like you can just hear people do it. People do it on the radio. I think I can. I almost. I almost. To make you laugh throughout a name from. But I won't attach names to it. But you know the type of person at Cairo Radio Video who's going to start throwing out the term white male when. When talking about this is why I thought some crime or something.

[Luke Burbank]

I expected more buy in from you on my whole. Is there any sharp. Anything sharp that will poke me riff? Because that's the one that makes me so annoyed. It's this like idea because I feel like the issue that we have. Look, I've never been a police officer and I, I can. What I can say is I'm sure there are a lot of parts of the job. Job that I don't understand. And there's, I'm sure a lot of really challenging and sucky things about being a cop. And just because, you know, I've watched some TikTok videos, I'm not trying to act like I know everything about the. About what it's like to have to do that day in and day out. I do think that part of the problem though is that they are trained to assume that every situation is about to turn into life and death for them. Like that every person that they approach is. Is secreting a weapon somewhere in their body folds and is going to shoot Them with the weapon. Unless they like, it'll be like a, you know, a grandmother or something or somebody who just by all normal demographic, demographic indications is not likely to be a violent threat to them. And they'll be like, do you have your license? Or whatever. And then the person will like reach into their personal.

[Andrew Walsh]

But do not reach into your purse, right?

[Luke Burbank]

It's like, it's like, don't reach in your pockets. It's like calm the flip down everybody. And then when it's like arresting someone, you're not arrested, you're detained. Okay, I'm being detained for what? You're being detained for resisting. How was I resisting? You're resisting right now by asking me these questions.

[Andrew Walsh]

What?

[Luke Burbank]

And then it's like, do you have anything sharp, dangerous knife that will poke me? It's like, I just came out of 24 Hour Fitness. I'm in like my workout pants. What do you mean do I like this, this idea that at all times your life is under immediate threat. Now again, I know it's the training because the idea is like, well, you never know. But I do think that that adversarial and that sort of like, I'm all, I'm in, I'm in, I'm in mortal danger literally every second I'm on shift. I don't think it's probably good for the cops brains. I don't think it's good for the brains of the people who are being, you know, detained or whatever by the cops. And for some reason that whole do anything shift sharp or dangerous that will poke me. It just. And we had. When I said this last time, people like emailed me and were like, well, they could have like this. I'm like, yeah, they could, but they never have. And I promise you, I've watched more Tick Tock videos about this than anyone in America.

[Andrew Walsh]

I see that I only absolutely put.

[Luke Burbank]

My wasted life up against anyone's when it comes to consuming this content.

[Andrew Walsh]

See, the only context I've ever heard or seen that is through the tsa. And I will say that while I get real shirt. Now, maybe I don't get real shirty, but I get, you know, I am not afraid. I'm not overly friendly. When the TSA people say we have to like go through your bag. I'm always like pretty pissed off about. I don't say anything, but I just stand there and I steam and I don't say, I don't. I don't waste any syllable that I.

[Luke Burbank]

Don'T have a cab under your breath.

[Andrew Walsh]

I do.

[Luke Burbank]

You mutter a tab.

[Andrew Walsh]

A sab.

[Luke Burbank]

A sab like tsunami.

[Andrew Walsh]

But. But I guess I. But that one question doesn't set me off because I'm going like, well, I mean, I guess that that's. That, that's fair enough. If you did have, you know, if you did have needles in there for any reason, like they, if they're just like digging in your bag, I guess it would be good to know that they're not going to get stabbed with something. Like I.

[Luke Burbank]

But this is when they're patting people down. What I'm talking about is the cop contest.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no, I'm talking about them going through my bags at the airport.

[Luke Burbank]

When do they ask you that at the tsa?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. That's the only time I'd ever heard. And I don't watch a lot of. I. I haven't gotten in trouble with the law as much as you have, obviously, and I haven't gotten in trouble with the tick tock law as much as you have. In other words, like, I don't see that. So, like, I didn't have any context.

[Luke Burbank]

For another 10,000 hours in Believe when.

[Andrew Walsh]

The people are going through my bag at the airport. When again, I'm saying, like, I'm grumpy when they do that. When they, you know, something in my bag said. Sends it out of the conveyor belt. I am grumpy, but I still am kind of like that. That part of the part, that part of the experience particularly doesn't bother me, them just saying, is there anything, anything sharp in here? Because it seems reasonable to me, but I haven't like, again, like, delved deep into the long enforcement end of that.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, it's funny because I've obviously had my bag searched plenty of times at tsa, and maybe I've just glossed over that or I'm trying to remember them asking me that. I'm sure it's the standard question. And I. What I probably would say if they asked me was, I don't know. You have the X ray.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

You tell me. Yeah, do everything sharp. That's why you're pulling me over, Officer.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'd just be like, well, I have the. Obviously the bag of glass. I'm taking that home.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I have the bag of broken glass. I'm bringing that home to my quasi nephew for Christmas.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, exactly. I got my dirty needle collection. Is that what you mean? Mean they're. I just. Oh, yeah, I store them in a sock, so you should be safe.

[Luke Burbank]

I store them in tissue paper.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, exactly. Here I go once again with the email. Every week. I hope that it's from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, man.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not from a female.

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like we almost did the emails and V mails today because we threw a few emails out. Excuse me. A few emails out at the beginning of the show. But I don't know if there's still one or two left over.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, let me just play this for you. In fact, I don't even know if I've listened to this yet, but I got this email from listener Matthew oh in Chicago who says my 4 year old has been really into telling jokes lately. Here is one I recorded with her. This one actually makes sense where most of her other jokes have the right cadence but are nonsensical. I like that. I'll try to catch some of those and send them later. They're pretty funny. Anyway, have a great day. Okay, so this is. It looks like Lila is her name telling a joke. And I don't know what's going to come here other than that it's 17 seconds long. I'm glad I'm 4 years old.

[Luke Burbank]

What did the duck do.

[Andrew Walsh]

When it bought some lipstick? Okay, what did the duck do when it bought some lipstick? When it bought some lipstick is the question here. He put it on it bill. The bada bada ba. The.

[Luke Burbank]

Is that a rim shot?

[Andrew Walsh]

The bada bada ba is. I mean, that sells. This is. This is how you do it. He put it on its bill. Waka waka waka. I love it. Thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a great joke.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's a great way to wrap up the week.

[Luke Burbank]

I think, honestly, maybe somebody the. Maybe some of the most compelling content on the show this week. Almost as interesting as TARP talk.

[Andrew Walsh]

Absolutely. Oh, we're having a special guest on the show Monday, by the way. Our pal Nick Jarin is swinging by to talk about holiday films.

[Luke Burbank]

We love it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Gonna be. For once, it's gonna be a good show.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I know. I'm thinking about taking everybody, please do.

[Luke Burbank]

Join us for that. In the meantime, look, here we are, Andrew, once again at the end of today's show and at the end of our broadcast week. Thank you as always for spending some time with us, everybody. We will be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio. In the meantime, have a great weekend, take care of yourselves and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you seriously detaining me again? Am I being rendered.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, you're being friendered. So just please accept our compulsory hospitality.

[Luke Burbank]

Power out.