#4373 Blockin’ Out The Naders

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live - Episode #4373 "Blockin’ Out The Naders"

Release Date: January 3, 2025

In episode #4373 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh dive into a multifaceted discussion blending humor, personal anecdotes, and insightful commentary on current events. Titled "Blockin’ Out The Naders," the episode features a special guest appearance by renowned musician John Tesh, explores intriguing local news stories, and delves into pop culture phenomena—all while maintaining the show's signature playful dynamic.

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1. Special Guest Appearance: John Tesh and "Round Ball Rock" [00:01 – 02:16]

The episode kicks off with an unexpected visit from John Tesh, who introduces a collaborative musical piece titled "Round Ball Rock". Tesh explains the song's evolution, stating, "It's me on keys and Dave singing. Can you believe this is our job?" ([00:20]). The playful performance showcases Tesh's lighthearted interaction with the hosts, setting an upbeat tone for the episode.

2. Personal Reflections and Host Vulnerability [02:16 – 13:29]

Transitioning from the guest segment, Luke and Andrew engage in candid conversation about personal experiences and professional growth. Luke shares a moment of introspection where he grapples with intrusive thoughts and the guilt associated with receiving kindness: "I have such bad, intrusive thoughts that sometimes... I feel guilty about people showing me kindness" ([05:23]). This vulnerability fosters a deeper connection with listeners, highlighting the hosts' authenticity.

Andrew adds, reflecting on early missteps in his broadcasting career: "I remember... trying to not act sexist or like a chauvinist. It was a really bad idea" ([07:22]). Their shared experiences underscore the journey of finding one’s voice in the media landscape, emphasizing themes of growth and self-awareness.

3. Top Stories Breakdown [05:18 – 29:58]

a. Mississippi's Sour Milk Lagoon Crisis [15:07 – 17:01]

One of the primary stories discussed involves the town of Koskio, Mississippi, grappling with a pervasive foul odor emanating from a sour milk lagoon—a byproduct of local dairy farm waste. Daniel Wu's reporting highlights the community's struggle: "The scent is so overwhelming... It will wake you up in the middle of the night. You will think your house is on fire" ([15:44]). Residents like Emily Bennett and Brad Stanley contemplate relocating due to the unrelenting stench, while municipal efforts to mitigate the issue have proven costly and ineffective.

b. Costco's Stricter Membership Enforcement [17:37 – 20:12]

The hosts turn their attention to Costco's recent policy changes regarding membership verification. Andrew recounts a humorous yet relatable anecdote involving Michael Penix Jr., Atlanta Falcons' quarterback, who received pivotal news while indulging in a Costco hot dog: "When I got the news, I wasn't hungry anymore" ([19:10]). This story underscores the balance Costco seeks between accessibility and exclusive membership benefits, especially concerning popular items like their famed hot dogs and the often-overlooked chicken bake.

c. Credence Clearwater Revival's Streaming Resurgence [20:05 – 25:55]

Exploring the intersection of nostalgia and modern streaming culture, Luke and Andrew discuss Credence Clearwater Revival (CCR)’s unexpected rise to being America's biggest band in 2024 as reported by Rob Sheffield in Rolling Stone. Andrew muses, "Bands are not a thing anymore. You have performers, but not bands standing on stage" ([20:12]). Despite personal reservations about CCR’s gritty sound—“I always disliked the sound created by CCR. It has always made me feel dirty" ([23:46])—the hosts acknowledge the broader trend of classic bands finding renewed popularity through digital platforms, highlighting the evolving landscape of music consumption.

4. Ralph Nader's Papermate Pen Predicament [26:26 – 32:21]

A significant portion of the episode delves into Ralph Nader’s longstanding issue with his Papermate flair tip pens drying out prematurely. Drawing from Anna Marie Conte's detailed investigation for The New York Times, Luke and Andrew explore Nader’s theories—from design flaws to environmental factors—that contribute to the pens' poor performance. Andrew summarizes the findings: "Universally they all rated Ralph Nader's pen as the worst" ([29:57]).

The discussion highlights a fascinating blend of consumer advocacy and personal preference, questioning the loyalty consumers maintain towards specific products despite evident shortcomings. Luke humorously critiques the practicality of Nader's pen choice, while Andrew speculates on Nader’s unwavering commitment: "He probably took up their offer to send him some replacements" ([31:02]).

5. Brief Mention of Skipped Stories [32:21 – 33:02]

Acknowledging time constraints, the hosts briefly reference additional stories that didn't receive in-depth coverage, including the discontinuation of Fruit Stripe gum, the debate over wired headphones, and a controversial Guinness World Record for the tallest matchstick tower. This segment serves as a nod to their ongoing content planning and the dynamic nature of topical discussions.

6. Donor Acknowledgments and Closing Banter [33:02 – 41:53]

Wrapping up the episode, Luke and Andrew extend heartfelt thanks to their financial supporters, including Gether Kenyon from Chicago and Margaret Kearney from Whitefish, Montana. Their gratitude is laced with humor, referencing in-jokes and playful anecdotes about donor names and interactions.

In a light-hearted puzzle segment, Andrew challenges Luke and listeners to solve a riddle involving altering a phrase to form a Yuletide greeting. The playful exchange exemplifies the hosts' chemistry and ability to engage audiences beyond conventional news analysis.

The episode concludes with warm holiday wishes, blending humor with genuine appreciation: "Happy Christmas. Belated. Or early or very, very early?" ([41:47]).

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• John Tesh on "Round Ball Rock":

  • "It's me on keys and Dave singing. Can you believe this is our job?" ([00:20])

• Luke on Intrusive Thoughts:

  • "I have such bad, intrusive thoughts that sometimes I feel guilty about people showing me kindness." ([05:23])

• Andrew on Skipped Stories:

  • "We actually did brain rot." ([13:44])

• Emily Bennett on Sour Milk Lagoon:

  • "The scent is so overwhelming... It will wake you up in the middle of the night. You will think your house is on fire." ([15:44])

• Andrew on CCR's Relevance:

  • "Bands are not a thing anymore. You have performers, but not bands standing on stage." ([20:12])

• Andrew on Ralph Nader's Pen Issue:

  • "Universally they all rated Ralph Nader's pen as the worst." ([29:57])

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This episode of TBTL masterfully intertwines personal narratives with broader societal issues, all while maintaining an engaging and humorous dialogue. Luke and Andrew's ability to oscillate between light-hearted banter and substantive discussions ensures that both regular listeners and newcomers find value and entertainment in their daily musings.

Transcript

[Luke Burbank]

Excuse me, Mr.

[Andrew Walsh]

Lavender. John Tesh is here. Oh, great.

[Luke Burbank]

Send him in. Okay.

[John Tesh]

Knock, knock.

[Luke Burbank]

There he is.

[John Tesh]

Mr. Entertainment Tonight. How you guys doing? Hello, everyone. This is my brother right here, Dave Tesh.

[Luke Burbank]

Pleasure.

[John Tesh]

Pleasure. I did not know that you had a brother.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, yeah.

[John Tesh]

You know, he's not just my brother. He's. He's also the genius in the family.

[Luke Burbank]

Meanwhile, I'm blushing.

[John Tesh]

Okay, well, let's see what we got for you. We've written a song that we like to call Round Ball Rock. Now, it started as one of David's poems here for. But then it just grew into something bigger than both of us could ever imagine. It's me on keys and Dave singing. Can you believe this is our job? All right, fire away.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right.

[John Tesh]

Ready to do this? Yes, I am. All right. 2, 3, 4. Ba ba ba ba ba basketball Gimme, gimme, gimme the ball because I'm going to dunk it Ba ba ba ba ba basketball Gimme, gimme, gimme the ball because I'm going to dunk it Ba ba ba ba ba basketball Whoa. All right. Now that's how you do it.

[Luke Burbank]

David.

[John Tesh]

It was just getting hot. You are in such good voice today, buddy. Thank you, brother.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wow.

[John Tesh]

I mean, that was great, guys. But you know what I was wondering?

[Andrew Walsh]

Is there any way we can hear.

[John Tesh]

It again, but, you know, with the lyrics separated out? Huh? Really?

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[John Tesh]

That's weird. Are you okay with that?

[Luke Burbank]

If you are, I guess.

[John Tesh]

Okay, yeah, sure. We can do that. All right, Here we go. 2, 3, 4. Ba ba ba ba ba Basketball Game A ball.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm sorry, guys. I'm sorry.

[Luke Burbank]

Stop that.

[John Tesh]

I think we probably.

[Andrew Walsh]

We weren't clear we actually meant. Could we hear it with just the music? Right?

[John Tesh]

Oh, I defer to you My gut.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is no.

[Luke Burbank]

TBTM.

[John Tesh]

Guess what day it is Guess what day it is It's.

[Luke Burbank]

Friday Friday Gonna get down on Friday Everybody's looking forward to the weekend I.

[John Tesh]

Saw a woman psychiatrist and she said I was OCD One cool dude and she understands the way I think right now and everything's cool Everything's copacetic Everybody's happy and I'm happy, too, sweetie, have a good show.

[Luke Burbank]

What you do is so important.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. My name's Luke Burbank. I am your host, coming to you from the Madrona Hill Studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. And right over there, just about, oh, I don't know, couple of hundred miles north from me up interstate 5 is my good friend, the longest running cobra of the show, Mr. Andrew Walsh. He is joining me right now. Hello, sir.

[Luke Burbank]

I owe you an apology. I owe the listeners an apology. I think you know why. I think we made a face at each other over the video conferencing software. When we heard that for two times in three days, I accidentally played the same Randy Savage drop. I didn't know that it was in.

[Andrew Walsh]

This, to be honest with you. The other day when we were talking about it, I think it played on New Year's Day. I kind of wanted to hear it again.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was saying how I felt like he was actually channeling a certain kind of feeling we all have going into 2025. And so I was able to confirm that, yes, that it did sound the way that I thought it did. So you were doing me a favor, my friend.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what? I'm sorry. What I meant to say is I owe. And you're welcome. And you're welcome is a hard thing to say, by the way. And you're welcome. I don't like that, by the way. That's one of my least favorite things. And people have stopped doing it so much. But there's a trend there where somebody would, like, just send an email and be like, yes, click this link. You're welcome. Let's. Let's be a little bit less aggressive with our friendly emails.

[Andrew Walsh]

I have a bad feeling that I might have started the first episode of TBTL with some sort of a you're welcome, America.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I don't think so. I've heard that intro before.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't want to play it now.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I won't. But I will say that if you did do that, you were 15 years before the trend. Or like 13 years before the trend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. And I was whispering it, so probably nobody heard.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. You were doing your Ira Glass.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was. Oh, I don't know why that came into my mind the other day. I think I was listening to something else, and they were being kind of a little mousy, a little quiet, and it reminded me of. I wish I could remember what it was. Some kind of a radio thing. Anyway, it reminded me of the first episode of tbtl and I just had just a wave of embarrassment just course through my body.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I just like.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I was like, I wish I could just go back and do that first episode over again. I would just. I would have been. I would have been energetic. I would have been excited instead of. I mean, what was happening was I was very, very nervous, and I was trying to stifle that, but being cool. And then the way it played out was I sounded disinterested and whispery.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think you. For what it's worth, I've heard that intro a bunch. I don't think you sounded disinterested in whispery. I do you hear an evolution in your approach. And I do think there's some public radio in there that you were coming out of. Public radio. Can I tell you about something that makes me cringe? I can't tell you about all the things that make me cringe when my brain lands on them. I have a lot of.

[Andrew Walsh]

We're trying to get through nine top stories today. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

That I came. I came out of the bathroom after taking a morning shower last week.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm glad that ended with O W.

[Luke Burbank]

E R. And Genevieve said, what? Are you okay? And I'm like, what? She's like, do you. Do you know. You just said, God damn it, under your breath? And I said, no. She's like, what are you thinking about? And I said, I was thinking about actually a happy memory. Like, I'm not even joking. I have such bad, intrusive thoughts that sometimes what you. You know, I was thinking about a really nice time when somebody had showed. Showed me a bunch of kindness. And I don't even think I was embarrassing in the moment. I don't think there's any bad association with it. But sometimes I just feel guilty about people showing me kindness or something. And I just was literally, I was having a memory of a happy moment, which I'm trying not to derail the show by getting into. But it was just a happy moment from years ago. And Genevieve overheard me thinking about it and me saying to myself, God damn it, that is my life.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was your brain. Or that was your, I don't know, some part of you being. Being kind of feeling some sense of embarrassment about someone showing kindness to you. And then you audibly said, God damn it, yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Just like, in the same way that I have these thoughts of memories of things where I've acted in a way that I think was embarrassing in the moment, I carry it around. And one of those is. And this is something I've had to suppress. I never told you this, and I've been tempted or I fantasized about bringing this up on one of these episodes we do with our friends from the Text Me Back podcast. But, you know, we've been. In the past several months, you and I have Teamed up with Lindy and Megan, and we've done some shows together, and when I'm prepping them, it's hard for me not to remember the time I asked Lindy to come on my nighttime radio show. I don't know if you know that she was on the very, I'm pretty sure the very, very first episode of my nighttime radio show or certainly in the first week. And I think, you know, she knew me vaguely through you because I think she'd been on TBTL since I'd been a part of tbtl, like I wasn't a stranger.

[Andrew Walsh]

Did she come over to your house once?

[Luke Burbank]

She did, years later, years later for a TBTL thing. But at this point, this was. This is a long, long time ago now. And she agreed. I reached out to her and asked her she would be on the first episode of what was then called the Andrew Walsh show, and she said yes. And I'm sort of mortified that she did because it was so embarrassing, the segment, because I wanted to sort of lean into her maybe like the idea of her as a feminist. And like, I'm a guy with a radio show. The reason that it came up, and I don't think I have the audio on my computer, I think it's on a hard drive somewhere, is I had this idea of like, like how to be a proper man on the radio or I don't even remember what the deal was, but I had like a series of questions or something and she was supposed to walk me through.

[Andrew Walsh]

Like, it was sort of like ask a feminist.

[Luke Burbank]

It was sort of like ask a feminist or something along those lines. But it was like, so. And I don't know, it was like, so that I don't. So that I don't act sexist or what it was. And you know, this wasn't like, this was 20. What was this, 2013 or something. I was a full ass adult. I wasn't a kid. And I just look back at that segment and I remember her being generally pretty game, but also just realizing pretty early on, this is terrible. This was a really bad idea. And, you know, and I was pretty nervous being on the radio. And I think about that sometimes. And I think about the fact that Lindy, who, like her star was pretty big at that point, like, you know, and that she did that as a solid to me. I don't know that she remembers that or if she remembers it, that she remembers it was me. Like, I'll bet you if she has any memory of that, she might not even realize that I was the. The idiot who did that segment with her at Cairo Radio. She came into the studio for that. And I still. When I think about that, I cringe so hard.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I didn't hear that segment, and I'm. I'm. I. My guess is that it was a lot less bad than your anxiety tells you it was. But I also can say I know the feeling of. Of realizing at the beginning or, like, early on in a sort of a segment or a bit or a premise that it doesn't work. Realizing when you're on the live radio that this is actually not going to work the way you hoped it would. That is a terrible, terrible feeling.

[Luke Burbank]

And me very much, like, literally trying to find my voice, or maybe. Maybe I should say figuratively trying to find my voice because, like, it was, like, I didn't know what the show was going to be yet I was working with you on tbtl, and so some people already knew me as tbtl, and that's obviously a big influence on what I was doing on the night show. But also the reason I was drawn to TBTL is because I already. You and I share kind of an aesthetic when it comes to a lot of radio stuff. And so, like, being myself and not trying to be my TBTL self on this other show, but also being, you know, on Cairo Radio, mostly as a news producer, and people knew me as that way, as like sort of a third voice on the old Ross and Burbank show. So anyway, I just remember, like, not. Not knowing what I wanted the show to be, just knowing that some guy named Smokey gave me the job. And when a guy named Smokey gives you a job on the radio, you take it, and then, like. And I just wish, like, if nothing else, if I had one, if I had one Lindy Chit that I could play, I wish I would have had her on near the end of the run of that show when I had a little bit of confidence, or at least the confidence that came along with the fact that I was going away and it didn't matter anymore. But, like, why. Why do that in the first week? I mean, I think that makes sense. I've launched enough radio shows as a producer before to think, like, oh, we want to be splashy the first week out, it's got to be this or whatever. So you. You call in your favors or whatever, but it's actually the worst time to call in your favors because you don't know what the hell you're doing yet, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I've been through that. With various shows. I've never thought about it this way, but I've never thought about what a disservice it was to you. You know, unintentionally. It wasn't anyone's fault, but what a disservice it was to you for tbt. Well, tbtl to have pre existed in that time slot. Not because TBT was some genius thing, but because there was a whole list of things that if you did them, it would have been like, well, didn't they do that on tbtl? You know, wasn't that a segment? And Jen was just such a genius producer. She just had a million ideas. So like, to be. Because when we took over that time slot, it was like there was no overlap between us and the sports show that Mike Brown was hosting. We never had to go, wait, did he do. Was he making margaritas on the roof? Was he having a push up contest with Nikki with 2Ks?

[Luke Burbank]

Like, well, the weird thing is, is Frank Shire ended up doing a lot of the TBTL bits that you guys did when he took over when you.

[Andrew Walsh]

But better. But that's what hurt.

[Luke Burbank]

He got dory to fry fish with him. Which was the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I know. And that's honestly, like, that. That was a tough pill for me to swallow. But no, just the idea that you had, like, again, this is a way of me sort of, I don't know, glorifying tbtl, but it is. It probably wasn't helping your thought process to have this other thing that had been there that you still worked on in a way and that had done a million things so that you're like, oh, what if we did this? Oh, did they do that on tbtl? Like, you just keep bumping up against things probably that you wanted to make sure you didn't. You weren't doing something that was too similar to something we had done. But then that, you know, that leaves you with a lot more standard nighttime radio type of stuff. I can understand how it is that you got to the idea of like, let's have Lindy in and I'm gonna like, you know, I'm gonna. Basically, she's gonna coach me up on how to not be a dirtbag or how to not be a chauvinist.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Which was also just a weird thing because I'm not a chauvinist. I don't, I don't. I'm so confused as to what the bid is. And now I'm like, oh, I should look that up. What was the bid? And it's like, no, no, that's like. That's like looking up whether or not this wire still has electricity coursing through it, like I would.

[Andrew Walsh]

The only way to know is to get shocked.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I. I would rather not. Let's just assume that it's. That it is still alive.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, the good news is it did not tarnish your relationship with Lindy in any way such that, you know, she's still very happy to jump on the line with us and is a friend of the show. So you didn't do any permanent reputational damage with her or you or.

[Luke Burbank]

Or your star power and friendship with her overwhelms all the.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, that's kind of low key, what I was thinking.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I mean, that's what everybody.

[Andrew Walsh]

Emphasis on the word star power.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Anyway. All right. Should we actually try to get something done today?

[Andrew Walsh]

I guess. Why not? It's a Friday. We've done almost no useful work this week.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's try to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's bomb through these. Okay, so we have. The good news is it's actually only nine stories, I think, because we actually did brain rot.

[Luke Burbank]

We did.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then forgot, which is a form of brain rot.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know if you're going to remember all the way back to last week, but we did a whole show just setting up the idea of what we were going to do with the skipped top stories. And we didn't even get to that until Thursday because we kept having other ideas.

[Andrew Walsh]

That damn word list. We did 20 minutes on Panopticon.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. So we have a whole show from last week where we were just talking about what we're going to do with all these stories that we skipped. Didn't talk about any of them. The next day we did one word, brain rot. And then we did an entire week of not doing what we said we were going to do after dedicating a whole episode to setting it up. So here we are on Friday, and we have nine more top stories.

[Andrew Walsh]

So I'm looking through these and I'm realizing that a good number of them I did not actually even read, so I couldn't. I. We might have to just toss some of those out. Like a Mississippi town dealing with sour milk. Stink Pond.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a good headline. Those are good words.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, it. I didn't. I don't think I read. Maybe I read it at the time. A Mississippi town's annual battle against a lagoon of sour milk.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, God.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is an article by Daniel Wu, and it involves the city of Koskio, Mississippi, where they've got this, they've got a. Some kind of dairy farm and they dump a bunch of like, I don't know, waste from the farm, the spoiled milk into this lagoon. And then the milk all like, rots and the whole town just absolutely reeks. If I remember right, some of the writing is pretty good. The scent is so overwhelming, said Emily Bennett, who lives near the lagoon on the east side of Koskio. It will wake you up in the middle of the night. You will think your house is on fire.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was the line that made me think we should talk about that.

[Luke Burbank]

It's described as gassy and milky, and according to resident Brad Stanley, it just smells like clabbered milk and burned cat hair.

[Andrew Walsh]

The burnt cat hair is such a weird kind of distinct note on the whole thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, well, honestly, I would say the headline here is don't let Brad Stanley cat sit while you're gone, because why does he know what burnt cat hair smells like?

[Andrew Walsh]

They've spent millions of dollars trying to fix the smell, and to no avail. They spend $212,000 a year just trying to treat the lagoon with aerators and chemicals. And if I'm trying to remember how the story ended, as far as, let's see, as Koskio, I keep saying the name different every time stews. Some are weighing their options. So and so spends her weekends in Texas where she has family and is considering moving west to start a restaurant in Dallas. She said others, like Reynolds, whose previously mentioned stories, can't stomach leaving home. Most of the people grew up here and just stayed here, said Reynolds. I want better for the town. So it looks like there was not any immediate fix in sight for this Mississippi town with their sour milk stink.

[Luke Burbank]

I guess not.

[Andrew Walsh]

How about Costco checking IDs for hot dogs and sodas?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I was thinking about. I was looking ahead at some of these too, and which ones sort of speak to me. I do think that I like that in your notes you mentioned here. We first attempted to talk about that in March of this year, late March, March 28th. And I do remember reading this one. My memory is somewhat fuz on it, but it's sort of part of a bigger group of stories about Costco that all happened in 2024. About both, I think maybe cost saving measures or maybe trying to stop some cost leakages.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, cracking down on people coming in who either didn't have a Costco membership or maybe using someone else's membership. It used to be very lax on that stuff and now I know when Becca and I went into Costco recently, you have to show the ID card to get in or the Costco card to get in, which I don't think was always the case.

[Luke Burbank]

You used to have to flash it, but now they've started scanning it because it was still kind of. There was always somebody there at the front who would just sort of wave you in and look at your card very briefly. But I don't know what your experience was. But there was another article after this one that said Costco is going to start scanning the cards when you come in. So like, you know, paying more attention to it. And I think you and I, I'm surprised we didn't end up talking about this because I. Oh, you know what? I might have talked about this on the KOW podcast because I was surpr. Surprised that it's a, they, they consider it a loss for somebody without a membership to come in and buy their super cheap hot dogs. And I know that hot dogs are super cheap, but I just sort of figured that, like, if you're that deep, if you're somebody who's going to Costco to get the cheap hot dogs, it's only a matter of time before eventually you're getting your Costco membership. And because you know what I mean, you're like, yeah, you're more entrenched in the Costco culture than I am. And I have a card.

[Andrew Walsh]

Consider it a loss leader. Like any business would like to have people coming in their store. That's like 90% of the battle. Right? So if people are coming in, you think you're, that's a win for you. Maybe you're Michael Pennix Jr. Recently minted starting quarterback for the Atlanta Falcons, who said he got the news that he was going to be their new starting quarterback while he was at Costco with his girlfriend eating a Costco hot dog.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Andrew Walsh]

And then he said, when I got the news, I wasn't hungry anymore.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I can, I know that feeling.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like very humanizing to think of Michael Penix Jr. Standing in the food court of the Costco, eating his hot dog when he.

[Luke Burbank]

Gets the call and then putting the rest of the hot dog down and also too much bread on those hot dogs. I, I hate to be a hater, but. And I've said it on the show before, but man, my. I heard from people for years about, oh, you're gonna, these people know I like hot dogs. And you're gonna love the Costco hot dog. You're gonna love the Costco hot dog. Boy, was the Costco hot dog a disappointment to this Andrew. Way too much bun. I mean, they're on. Served on hoagie rolls. Why you. It's a waste of bread. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

The chicken bake is. That's. I think that's the. That's the real. The real sleeping. That's the sort of secret menu item that I think people should enjoy more is the chicken bake.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Which isn't for me so much because of the ingredients, I think. But I have heard good things.

[Andrew Walsh]

How about America's biggest band in 2024 is Credence Clearwater Revival? An article by Rob Sheffield and Rolling Stone.

[Luke Burbank]

I remember this one really well. Do you remember it?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I mean, I. I think that the, The. The thrust of it was basically that my takeaway from it was that bands are not a thing anymore. Like, you know what I mean? You have performers. You have singers like Sabrina Carpenter or Chapel Roan or, you know, Harry Styles, but. Or, you know, but, you know, you don't have, like, bands anymore that are topping the charts that are like, you know, four people playing their instruments, standing on stage. That's just not the kind of music that people are buying huge amounts of anymore. Was that your takeaway from the article?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't remember that being my takeaway. Although, as you say, that, that. That does seem right. Sort of. You and I of late have been sort of talking about. I think we've had a lot of these conversations actually off air, but talking about the kind of the idea of rock and roll and like, kind of the older I get and then also the more that sort of like the rockers of yesteryear get old, but still, like, kind of live a rock and roll lifestyle. The term rock and roll these days. I hate the idea of rock. I hate the fact that Seattle's head coach Mike McDonald says rock and roll all the time. I don't know if you know that, but that's like, no, let's just get out there and rock and roll. I hate that. I hate when somebody in a workplace environment says, you're a rock star. Like, every example of this just, like, grates on me. Please, nobody ever call me a rock star of. Although I don't think I'm in much danger of that these days. So what you just said sort of plays into my bias against that. I did think it had to do with sort of streaming and the weirdness of streaming, because, if you'll recall. And now I'm blanking on the name of it, but, like, the number one song on Spotify, by the by, you know, the indie band Pavement, which is a very famous band in some circles. And you and I are big Pavement, guys.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is it Harness yous Hopes?

[Luke Burbank]

Is Harness yous Hopes a song that only appeared on one of the bonus tracks? Was it a Wowie Zowie bonus track? Or maybe it was Bright in the Corners. I don't recall which album it came off of, but it didn't come off of the album. It came off of. It was a bonus track, but for some reason. Was it a TikTok thing, Luke? Or was it. Okay, it was a TikTok thing. Yeah. And so that becomes, like, in the streaming age, that's Pavement's most famous song. I saw them live and they performed that song.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wow. I saw a version of Steve Malkamis playing that song so badly.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Walsh]

That I was like. I was like. I went from not knowing that song existed. I literally didn't even know that song was. Was a Pavement song. And then I saw it on TikTok, and I was like, I love this Pavement song. I've never heard of. To seeing him play it live, thinking, I'll just go back to listening to the recording.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And when I saw him perform it live here in Seattle, they. It was a good show. Like, they. He didn't phone it in. I remember it being good, but I just remember thinking, like, oh, wow, if I had seen you when that was Bright in the Corners. And so I think Brighten the Corners was. Came out in like, 99 or something. I'm not sure about that, but I don't think that that would have been a song they would have toured with, you know, but in 2024, certain things get caught up. Up into the upstream and they become super popular. And that was the thrust, I believe, of the CCR article and how, like this. The. I guess streaming numbers on Credence Clearwater Revival are huge. And I gotta be honest with you, and this has nothing to do with my bias against rock and roll. Like, I love so much stuff that you would categorize as classic rock or music from the 60s and 70s. But CCR has never been it for me. Like, I've always sort of actively disagreed.

[Andrew Walsh]

Have you ever seen the Rain?

[Luke Burbank]

There's something about the growling nature of the vocals, which I think is the selling point of the van of the band. I've always disliked the sound created by ccr. It has always made me. It always feels dirty to me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I could. Yeah, kind of swamp rock.

[Luke Burbank]

It's kind of muddy. The muddy banks of a river that I don't want to put on galoshes to go visit it.

[Andrew Walsh]

There are a couple of Creedence songs that I do like, but I think that they're generally. Yeah, it's. I don't need to hear Proud Mary again or, you know, Fortunate Son again, personally. Also, I remember there was a Credence Clearwater Revival. Like, my first sense of that band was actually when there was some sort of like a double album set that was being advertised on television. You remember those days?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. You mean like this was of their stuff or a compilation of stuff from the era?

[Andrew Walsh]

I believe it was literally just their stuff. It was like Credence Clearwater Revival Bible's greatest hits. And it was like, you know, going between the different songs and stuff. And I remember they looked really corny to me because it was probably like the mid-80s. And so they were. You know, this was songs that they had recorded maybe 20 years ago. It was kind of. It felt. I don't know, it felt uncool to me. And so I always filed it under kind of uncool music. Even though I definitely have come around on it probably more than you have. I'm trying to scroll through this article and figure out. Let's see, here's from Rob Sheffield's Rolling Stone article. There just aren't any comparable examples. Bruce Springsteen doesn't have any records that are this big. Neither do Pink Floyd. He's referring to the Credence Clearwaters. Let's see, Green river is the album, I think that is charting really well. Still for. For Creedence Clearwater all these years later, he says the Bruce Springs doesn't have any records this big. Neither do Pink Floyd or Van Halen or the Beach Boys or the Eagles. Any other music franchise this popular has some larger than life personality or drama in the brand. To pick the most obvious example, everybody who loves Fleetwood Mac, which means everybody knows the real life. Whatever this is now just getting into the weeds. The point is, Rob Sheffield noted that this CCR record was still doing really well all these years later.

[Luke Burbank]

So the one thing I don't remember is whether or not they made the obvious joke slash observation. I'm going to say observation because it's not really funny, but it's. That's literally a Credence Clearwater Revival.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think he did, but I think it was a missed opportunity.

[Luke Burbank]

I do think so as well. The rare missed opportunity by Rob Sheffield.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why don't we Wrap things up by quickly talking about Ralph Nader's latest crusade, which is why are his pens drying out?

[Luke Burbank]

Do you see what I'm sitting here? This is what I always am fiddling with and taking notes with during the shows is we're using a Papermate flare.

[Andrew Walsh]

Felt tip and medium point.

[Luke Burbank]

I have an entire kit. I don't know if you can see this. And of course the listeners can't. Although maybe I can clip this for the show pick. I have this multicolored. Can you see my screen? I have this multicolored collection. These are. Well, except for that. Except for that exacto blade that just fell out. Nothing like an X acto blade falling out onto your hands. Yeah, that's a problem. But, yeah, I have one of almost every color of the rainbow.

[Andrew Walsh]

I dropped a steak knife the other day and tried to catch it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, good Lord.

[Andrew Walsh]

Instinctively, I was like putting it in the dishwasher or something and it slipped. And before I could even realize, I was like catching it and it was poking me. Luckily, it wasn't super sharp, but I was like, I gotta not do that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

So Ralph Nader, of course, the longtime consumer advocate, the guy who may or may not have given George W. Bush his first election, who wrote Unsafe at.

[Luke Burbank]

Any court that did that, honestly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, yeah, but. But I don't think Nader helped necessarily in stealing votes from Al Gore or whatever. I guess he's not stealing them. He's allowed to have them. But anyway. Anna Marie Conte of the New York Times. I think of the wire cutter, which, by the way, is my go to for practically every consumer whatnot. It's like, well, what's the wire cutter got to say about this? Ralph Nader, I think, reached out to them to complain that his pens that he's been using for, I'm going to guess, 100 years, however old Ralph Nader is this aforementioned Papermate flare tip pen. He wanted to complain to the New York Times that they're drying out faster than they used to, which led them on this incredibly detailed kind of testing process to try to figure out what was going on with these pens.

[Luke Burbank]

So detailed. And that's why I can't remember the ins and outs of it now. But I remember being drawn to this because obviously Ralph Nader's an interesting guy and I love these pens myself. And it fits into, again, the kind of the broader conversation we've had over the past several years about sort of like, in this case, I'm going to group it in with sort of what they call Shrinkflation. But that's not really the case.

[Andrew Walsh]

Didn't we do the Dryflation?

[Luke Burbank]

The Dryflation. We did a story or we talked about a story on this show about how, like, if you have nostalgia for some sort of like, brand of like food, like cookies or crackers or snack food from the 80s or 90s and then you eat it today and you're disappointed, it's not just because your memory was better than reality, but it's literally because these companies are swapping out all kinds of ingredients to like, try to make money, more money, save money and make more money. And so even though the Times reached out to the Flair people, or is it a Bic flair? I can't remember. No. Papermate. Papermate reached out to Papermate and Papermate either gave no response or insisted that they've never changed their ink formula for years. They went back and found boxes going back to 1966, unused used pens from 1966, 83, 89 and 2023. And the pen from 1966 has a bolder stroke than the 2023 one does.

[Andrew Walsh]

They actually tested a bunch of pens. This is what's kind of funny too is the Wirecutter staff tested, I think, four or five different kinds of pens. And unanimously and universally they all rated Ralph Nader's pen as the worst. The pen that Ralph Nader's been using, somebody said it felt like you were trying to. The ink was too sticky to the page.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh.

[Andrew Walsh]

It was like trying to draw with the adhesive side of Scotch tape.

[Luke Burbank]

And in other words, the one, not the, not the year version of the pens he's using, but just generally speaking, how bizarre it is that a paper mate would be your pen of choice.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. Like, no, nobody on the Wirecutter staff thought this was actually a good pen.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, it's not really a good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Using it for a million years.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

And, and he also has a theory that they changed the design of the cap, which maybe dries the pen out and also is easier to lose, therefore the pen not having its cap on and drying out faster. That was a Ralph Nader theory.

[Luke Burbank]

I love that. Applying the scientific process to that. That's good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. So by the end of this and they go through all these different pens and you're right to do this exhaustive research and they basically decide that, yes, these pens are getting shittier, but Ralph Nader is sticking with them. Is the, the, the paper made people offered to send Ralph Nader some if he sent in his old dried out pens. They were going to send him some replacements. And if I know Ralph Nader and I kind of do, I did meet him once, I spent a couple days with him. He probably took them up on it.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh you think so I thought that he'd be too proud to like kind of cave into big business in that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Way, you know, I. Big paper mate. That's. That's possible too. What I remember about hanging out with him was he was not, not a guy who was a particularly great at reading the room.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I believe. Oh yeah. Oh, I can totally see that. Absolutely.

[Andrew Walsh]

He struck me as euphemistically maybe a little neurodivergent.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe that. And certainly like kind of single minded in a way that you could see kind of going hand in hand with that, this article. And I don't even think I did end up finishing this whole thing. But they like had a whole bunch of theories like what about this theory? And they run them all through the, through the scientific process, including that like well, what if I'm not putting the cap on as often? Like it'd be an outside factor. I'm just seeing now theory number eight is Nader's environment is too dry. Could that have been it? And apparently this is a false that they, they ruled this out. But it says what if Nader's environment has become drier? Then his pens could be drying out due to the lack of humidity. They said it felt like recently moved to Tucson. See, is that true?

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I was gonna say that would be like. That would be a great thing to explore but apparently they ruled that out.

[Andrew Walsh]

If you want to read the world's most detailed article about Papermate flare tip pens, check it out. Anna Marie Acconti writing in the New York Times from earlier this year.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you mind if I just. We don't have to talk about them but let me just rattle off the other things that were on our list of skipped stories from the year Fruit Stripe gum will soon be over. Are wired headphones actually better? Tallest matchstick tower accepted by Guinness after controversy.

[Andrew Walsh]

We didn't get to that one.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't believe we didn't get to that one 3 year old complaining of monsters in her wall was right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Should we do laundry every day? I thought that was a good conversation but not such a great write up. Honestly. I remember that was not exactly conclusive in any way and I believe the other ones we've discussed. So good for us. Us. Yay.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm actually I'm. I'm. What is that word? Less Shame. Yeah. Feeling less shame about us on this Friday.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you for being a T. All.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right, let's thank some of our financial supporters, some of our donors who are keeping TBTL in business with their incredible generosity. And we really, really appreciate folks like good old Gether Kenyon Gether out there in Chicago, Illinois.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Gather. Gather's real name is not Gether, but because of a typo. I was gonna say it's actually Kether. But because of a typo in, in a spreadsheet that we had years ago, many years ago now we called her Gether. And now it's become like a whole like sort of alter ego, I think for Heather.

[Andrew Walsh]

Kind of like our friend Michelle.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly, exactly. That's. I kind of forgot about that. We have two people with similar, similar super villain origin stories on TBT called us.

[Andrew Walsh]

Messing up their names when they're giving us money.

[Luke Burbank]

Exactly.

[Andrew Walsh]

Thanks also to Margaret Kearney out there in Whitefish, Montana.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, thank you, Margaret.

[Andrew Walsh]

Appreciate winter wonderland right now in Whitefish.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. That's Michael.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yep. Michael Plastina. And the ones that aren't, they paint them.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, you have to.

[Andrew Walsh]

Reminds me of one of my old favorite jokes when I was a kid which was what's, what's. What's red and wet and hangs on a wall? What's red, wet, whistles and hangs on a wall and the person goes like. I don't know. You're like a fish. A fish isn't red. Well, it is if you paint it. A fish isn't wet. Well, it is if you get it wet. A fish doesn't whistle or a fish doesn't hang on the wall. What does if you hang it on there? A fish doesn't whistle. I threw that in to make it hard. I think I, I'm totally mastering that joke. But there's something about. I threw that in to make it hard always cracked me up as a kid.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw a Blue sky post recently where somebody said, I'm just throwing this out there to protect others in case you have a child in your life. If they ask you if you're smart and you say yes and they say, well then spell it. Just say it and save yourself some time from getting dragged by a six year old dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

They tried to. The old what's his name, Will Shorts, the puzzle master tried to mess. I can say this now because the. The real answer has been. Has been revealed. But he said, okay, this was a quiz. He said this is going to be a. What did he say? A tricky one. He said, oh, shoot, this is not going to be very interesting because I can't remember the exact details, but he said, you. Let's see. You change two letters in a place on earth. Okay, so it's. You change two letters in a place on Earth, and then you get a Yuletide greeting that we say, gosh, I'm.

[Luke Burbank]

So bad at these. And I don't know if I should do that, if I should try to attempt it on the air.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you think Michael Plastina can help? From Morgantown, West Virginia?

[Luke Burbank]

Thanking the donors.

[Andrew Walsh]

I think I talked to Michael at the Philly after party.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

And Michael had an incredible story and was telling me about how tbt. This is the same person. CBTL was pretty important when he was going through some health stuff and everything. It was really nice to get to meet Michael.

[Luke Burbank]

Thanks, Michael. Appreciate that.

[Andrew Walsh]

And if you're not the same Michael, you're also cool. But the Michael I'm thinking of is extra cool. From the after party. Yeah. If you change two letters. Okay. It's a place on earth. You change two letters in a place on earth and you get a Yuletide greeting.

[Luke Burbank]

Can I ask you a question? I know that you're somewhat dubious about this. In some way. In some way you feel like the puzzle master has betrayed your trust. Is it because the phrase place on earth seems weird to me? Is that part of the hang up here?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You're smart.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can phone a friend. You need to phone Alex Hawley of Seattle, Washington, one of our donors today. Alex is a very helpful type. Also, Carolyn Rose is in Truckee, California. Carolyn solved this within one minute, like I did. I never get these right. And I literally, like, got it right away and then.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, you got it right, right, right away.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. But it also betrayed your trust, your intellectual trust in some.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it was. How do I put it? It was a trick question.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a trick question. A place on earth. You have anybody else? I hope the next person's name is super, super long.

[Andrew Walsh]

I know this guy is a very smart.

[Luke Burbank]

Why?

[Andrew Walsh]

Because he's lifelong friends with Phyllis Fletcher and that only smart people do that. It's Ivan Choer in San Francisco, California.

[Luke Burbank]

Thank you, Ivan. I wish your name were longer because I need more time to puzzle this out. I don't even think I can take a swing at this. A Yuletide greeting, you said. So let me. You know what?

[Andrew Walsh]

Change two letters.

[Luke Burbank]

I've been trying to think of every place on earth. What I need to do is think about every Yuletide greeting instead. I can tell you're near the end of the can of Fresca. You just did something, which is the most disappointing thing in the world. You knew that can was empty, but you were trying to get the last drops out of it. We need to get out of here soon.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's mostly backwash.

[Luke Burbank]

You need to go get a fresh can of Fresca, as do I. Let's see. A seasonal greeting. Merry Christmas. Ho, ho, ho. Do you say ho ho, ho to say Seasons greetings? You say Happy Holidays.

[Andrew Walsh]

Merry Christmas. That was, that was an old Vern Funk commercial.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, really? Really. Leaning into keeping.

[Andrew Walsh]

He was just, There was the weird guy who was actually not Vern Funk, but who did their ads and he had this one where he was just going merry Christmas.

[Luke Burbank]

And then, then did they go on to say why it's important to say it that way or is just.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I think he was just saying a bunch of different weird ways. He also was like a deeply religious person. So maybe he was literally trying to make the point that, you know. Yeah, that's not. Leave. Do you're getting anything you put in Vern Funk?

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, I wanna, I'm cheating. I'm looking up other holiday greetings. Happy New Year. I, I, I think I'm going to, I think that we need to end this because it's not very entertaining. And I have, I'm coming up with literally nothing to throw your way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, I'm gonna buy you a little more time because I'm going to play Verne Fong. Wishing you a Merry Christmas. As soon as we get done with a different auto ad, which is kind of.

[Luke Burbank]

Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, Kuwanza Amitofo Ramadan. Merry Christmas from Burn Funk Insurance.

[Andrew Walsh]

That was on television in Seattle, him just yelling out holiday water.

[Luke Burbank]

What was happening? It was totally insane in Seattle at that time. I feel like Seasons greeting is Seasons Greetings. The, the, the, the greeting that we're looking for here.

[Andrew Walsh]

No peace on Earth. So you change two letters in a place on Earth and you make it into peace on Earth. So that's why a place on Earth you're supposed to think, oh, is it Chicago? Is it, you know, is it some far flung country? Is it Timbuktu? But you're, it's actually the phrase, you change two letters in a place on Earth.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not a greeting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Take it up with Will Shorts.

[Luke Burbank]

It's not a greeting.

[Andrew Walsh]

Listen, take it up with Will.

[Luke Burbank]

Have you gone up to Anybody in your 48 years?

[Andrew Walsh]

You might not have said greetings and.

[Luke Burbank]

Said, no, I know. All right. That's okay. No, no, that's. That's the fact that I knew it was a trick, but I was still, like, thinking very.

[Andrew Walsh]

I also, I don't think. I think I set it up poorly.

[Luke Burbank]

So did I tell you. I think I maybe didn't tell you this on the air because I didn't want to dox myself too much in case it became a thing. But I tell you, my. My weird neighbor from across the street, the old guy, sent in a. And I don't think it was the first time he was successful in doing this. He sent in a puzzle, a puzzle that he made up that will Short. He wasn't on the show. He sent it in. So it was like so and so from Seattle has this. And it had to do with like a. I think, like soldiers and their horses. Like war heroes and their horses or something. This was probably like.

[Andrew Walsh]

Think about how much money you could make in Vegas if you knew the answer to the puzzle before it airs.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, good.

[Andrew Walsh]

Go down there, put some money down.

[Luke Burbank]

Where would you do that in Vegas, then?

[Andrew Walsh]

Whatever the nerdiest casino is.

[Luke Burbank]

I would like to check. Casino public radio producers.

[John Tesh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Well, this has been fun. And we. You know, what? We did what we said we were going to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

We absolutely did. Promises made, promises kept. That's the TBTL way.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right.

[Andrew Walsh]

All right, that's gonna do it for today's show and for our broadcast week. Thanks for hanging out with us. We will be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio for you. Please join us for that. In the meantime, have a great weekend. Take care of yourselves. Happy Christmas. Belated.

[Luke Burbank]

Belated. Or early or very, very early?

[Andrew Walsh]

Never too early. And please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Luke Burbank]

And good luck to all. Power out.