#4531 Possibly Apocryphal

Summary

Podcast Summary: TBTL Episode #4531 - "Possibly Apocryphal"

Release Date: August 13, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank and Andrew Welsh
Description: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live is a daily show where two longtime friends navigate the world with humor and camaraderie. In Episode #4531, titled "Possibly Apocryphal," Luke and Andrew delve into a blend of comedic banter, nostalgic reflections, and intriguing listener interactions.

---

1. Opening Banter and Setting the Tone (00:02 - 01:37)

The episode kicks off with playful exchanges between Luke and Andrew, invoking quirky references to pop culture and fictional characters.

• Andrew Welsh: "Rick Sanchez, you psycho bag of squanch. Hey, what's up, Squanchy?" [00:02]

• Luke Burbank: "And you must be Beth on squanch." [00:08]

This lighthearted start sets a casual and humorous atmosphere, reminiscent of the hosts' long-standing friendship and their ability to riff on diverse topics.

---

2. Theme of Perseverance and Introduction of Cleveland Browns (01:37 - 03:20)

Luke transitions the conversation to a more motivational theme, drawing parallels between personal struggles and the enduring spirit of the Cleveland Browns.

• Luke Burbank: "There are times in life when no matter how hard we try... the spirit of the Cleveland Browns." [00:41]

Andrew Welsh humorously interjects with a pop culture reference:

• "I know those words, but that makes no sense. You are tearing me apart, Lisa." [00:59]

This segment blends encouragement with humor, highlighting the show's unique ability to balance serious topics with comedic relief.

---

3. Welcoming Andrew Welsh and Discussing Joke Development (03:20 - 05:39)

Andrew joins Luke to address listener voicemails and showcase their comedic talents. Andrew shares an original joke, sparking a discussion on its originality.

• Andrew Welsh: "What do you call a progressive sheep?" [03:59]

• Andrew Welsh: "A bleating heart liberal." [05:08]

• Luke Burbank: "That's actually pretty good." [05:13]

Luke verifies the joke's uniqueness by searching online, confirming its originality:

• Luke Burbank: "I don't see anybody else making that joke. I think that that could be an Andrew Walsh original." [05:28]

This exchange underscores the hosts' creative synergy and their engagement with listener contributions.

---

4. Tribute to Mark Russell, Political Satirist (05:39 - 08:43)

The hosts pay homage to Mark Russell, a renowned political satirist who recently passed away, reflecting on his impact and comedic style.

• Luke Burbank: "Mark Russell, RIP... I remember a lot of promos for it on PBS." [06:04]

• Andrew Welsh: "This is an actual Mark Russell comedy live from Buffalo..." [07:07]

Andrew Welsh humorously likens Russell's performance style to Jerry Lee Lewis:

• "Hilarious Lee Lewis. I kind of like that." [07:54]

This segment honors Russell's legacy while infusing humor, exemplifying the show's respectful yet entertaining approach.

---

5. Listener Voicemail: "Kids and Fantasy" Joke (08:43 - 10:13)

Using a game-like wheel, Luke and Andrew select a listener voicemail featuring a classic joke setup.

• Andrew Welsh: "Kids and fantasy. Thank you. I like that all three of us got to say it." [09:21]

They present the joke:

• Sarah from Pennsylvania: *"Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work in case she needed to draw blood?"
  "Put it on my bill." [10:12]

• Luke Burbank: "That's pretty good." [10:13]

The hosts discuss the joke's comedic merits and potential origins, highlighting their collaborative and analytical approach to humor.

---

6. Deep Dive: Old Dirty Bastard's Audition for Mr. Ed (10:25 - 33:26)

A significant portion of the episode explores the intriguing claim that the late rapper Old Dirty Bastard (ODB) auditioned for the voice of Mr. Ed, the talking horse from the classic TV show. The conversation delves into the authenticity of this claim, analyzing available information and sources.

• Andrew Welsh: "Old dirty bastard auditioned for Mr. Ed... It makes more sense that this is not real." [26:29]

• Luke Burbank: "Apocryphal means not real... They’re calling it apocryphal, which means you’re saying it’s made up." [32:59]

Andrew Welsh questions the credibility of the recording, considering its placement on a blog that may lack journalistic integrity:

• "If you think it just means suspicious but it means made up. Right?" [32:43]

• Andrew Welsh: "But you're telling me that this, this thing that you and I just read, that you read out loud, this person is just saying this isn't real, but we don't know what it is without any..." [27:57]

The hosts conclude that the audition recording is likely a spoof or misattributed, emphasizing the importance of discerning authentic information from speculative or humorous fabrications.

---

7. Reflections on Memory and Relationships (33:26 - 35:30)

The dialogue shifts to personal anecdotes about memory lapses and relationship dynamics, particularly concerning the challenges of recalling shared conversations.

• Luke Burbank: "I have the memory of a goldfish... I will remember it, but I say if you give it two weeks, you've got a 50/50 shot of me not remembering." [24:44]

• Andrew Welsh: "I don't want to do that every year and... you're losing." [25:29]

They discuss the idea of recording conversations to avoid misunderstandings, ultimately acknowledging the complications it brings to personal interactions.

---

8. Final Voicemail and Episode Wrap-Up (35:30 - 37:12)

As the episode nears its end, the hosts prepare to feature a final listener voicemail, teasing it as an Easter egg for future episodes.

• Andrew Welsh: "Are you going to tell us or you?" [36:34]

• Luke Burbank: "Hey, listeners... Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work in case she needed to draw blood?" [37:02]

Sarah in Pennsylvania leaves a dad joke:

• "Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work in case she needed to draw blood?"
  "Have a great day. Bye. Power out." [37:12]

Luke signs off with his characteristic warmth and humor:

• Luke Burbank: "All right, that's going to do it for today's episode..." [36:34]

The episode concludes on a lighthearted note, inviting listeners to tune in for more engaging and humorous content in future editions.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Andrew Welsh: "A bleating heart liberal." [05:08]

• Andrew Welsh: "The duck went to the bar and ordered a couple drinks. The bartender said, will you be paying for those with credit or cash? The duck said, put it on my bill." [10:12]

• Andrew Welsh: "Old dirty bastard auditioned for Mr. Ed..." [26:29]

• Sarah in Pennsylvania: "Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work in case she needed to draw blood?" [37:12]

---

Key Takeaways

• Humorous Creativity: The hosts excel in crafting and analyzing jokes, often contributing original content that resonates with their audience.

• Pop Culture Integration: References to figures like Mark Russell and Old Dirty Bastard add depth and relatability, appealing to a diverse listener base.

• Engaging Listener Interaction: The use of voicemails and game-like elements enhances listener participation and maintains an interactive dynamic.

• Thoughtful Reflections: Beyond humor, the episode touches on themes of memory, relationships, and the authenticity of information, offering listeners both laughs and introspection.

---

Conclusion: Episode #4531 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live showcases Luke Burbank and Andrew Welsh's dynamic chemistry, blending humor with thoughtful discussions. From original jokes and tributes to intriguing pop culture debates, the hosts deliver an engaging and memorable episode that caters to both regular listeners and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Rick Sanchez]

Rick Sanchez, you psycho bag of squanch. Hey, what's up, Squanchy? Hey, Squanchy. Morty Summer.

[Luke Burbank]

And you must be Beth on squanch.

[Rick Sanchez]

Eh?

[Luke Burbank]

Your language has the word squanch in it a lot. Doesn't that become tedious and worn out, like the smurf thing?

[Rick Sanchez]

Beth, squanchy culture is more contextual than literal. You just say what's in your squanch and people understand. Oh, okay. I squanch my. What? I do. I squanch my family.

[Luke Burbank]

Stop saying it. Gross. Come on in, guys. The guests are having cock squanches.

[Rick Sanchez]

Tbtm.

[Luke Burbank]

There are times in life when no matter how hard we try, no matter how much we want to win, sometimes it just isn't meant to be and we fail. Today I want to tell you something not about winning or losing, but about the spirit of never giving up. The spirit of the Cleveland Browns.

[Rick Sanchez]

I know those words, but that makes no sense. You are tearing me apart, Lisa.

[Luke Burbank]

I love Switzerland.

[Rick Sanchez]

It is one of my favorite countries. I love your army knives with the.

[Luke Burbank]

Toothpicks and your cheese.

[Rick Sanchez]

Does the cheese come out of the.

[Luke Burbank]

Cow with the holes?

[Rick Sanchez]

You just drop in and just smack the lip, drop down, and then after that, you just drop in, just ride the barrel and get pitted. So pitted like that.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome. Welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Rick Sanchez]

The vibes will be the illest and the jams narrate.

[Luke Burbank]

My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia. Wouldn't mind jumping in the mighty Columbia today because it's a warm one.

[Rick Sanchez]

I feel warm, and I'm levitating.

[Luke Burbank]

It's going to be a warm one anyway, and it's going to be very hot.

[Rick Sanchez]

Going to be very uncomfortable for everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I noticed the other day looking out at the mighty Columbia? It was that a lot of folks get out there with their speedboat, and they pull the inner tube, you know, behind them, and the kids are on the inner tube. I've always hated that, like, from when I was a little kid. Like, first of all, we didn't grow up with a boat. We didn't grow up really in boat or lake culture. But on the rare occasion, maybe there'd be like a church camp or some kind of a thing where there would be a chance to get on one of those inner tubes and get whipped around. It was one of those things in childhood that I was. I'd been brainwashed into thinking was like the most fun thing that could ever happen. I kind of hated it. And I wanted to say to this kid that was being towed in an inner tube, you don't have to pretend. You don't have to pretend you like this because you probably hate it because it's kind of overrated. You know what's not overrated? Episode 4531 in a collector series.

[Rick Sanchez]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

Where we find ourselves today. And we find ourselves with a few more voicemails to clear out from the TBTL voicemail line. So we're gonna do that with the help of this guy. Longest running cobra of the show. Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. One other thing about him, he was.

[Rick Sanchez]

King of the tuk tuk sound.

[Luke Burbank]

He's Andrew Welsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Rick Sanchez]

Good morning, Luke. I made up a joke this morning. This is a true story. Oh, I came up with a joke. It popped into my head fully formed. I told it to Genevieve. She didn't laugh so much as get back to her work. Would you like to hear it? It's very much in the. In the style of what it was called dad jokes now. But the seriously is what I made up. I find it hard to believe this joke doesn't already ex somewhere in the annals of jokery, but this was one that I, I believe I made up. I don't believe I'm, you know, stealing this from another comedian, but here it is. It's a riddle. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right.

[Rick Sanchez]

What do you call a progressive sheep?

[Luke Burbank]

What do you call a progressive sheep? So a sheep with kind of progressive values.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

See, what do you call.

[Rick Sanchez]

I should let you know. This is a terrible joke. So if you're looking for some sort of high minded political humor, look elsewhere.

[Luke Burbank]

So this isn't going to be like your version of standing at a piano playing high minded political.

[Rick Sanchez]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

Comedic music or something.

[Rick Sanchez]

It's not like it's not a state.

[Luke Burbank]

What's his name? Mark.

[Rick Sanchez]

What? I don't know. I have it in my file somewhere because we used to play tape of him. Something about the comedian, the, the captain of the SS politics standing on the poop deck of democracy or something.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, a progressive sheep. What is it? What does a progressive sheep say?

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah, what is a progress? What? No, no, no. Not what does it say? What do you. You've got me in my own head now. What do you call a progress?

[Luke Burbank]

I don't Know, Andrew, what do you call a progressive sheep?

[Rick Sanchez]

A bleating heart liberal. Oh, thank you.

[Luke Burbank]

That's actually pretty good.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah, thanks. I came up with it. I really did. I don't, I mean, I, Again, I find it hard to believe that I'm the first person to come up with that, but I did. I did not, like, read that in, like, some online compendium of dad jokes.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm looking this up. Let's see. Yeah, you know, I don't see. I typed in bleating heart liberal, and as you might imagine, it's taking me right to bleeding heart liberal.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

So I don't see anybody else making that joke. I think that that could be an Andrew Walsh original.

[Rick Sanchez]

I think so. I think, I think. Well, first, ladies and gentlemen, let us welcome Washington's fearless political satirist, the court jester on the poop deck of the ship of state, Mark Russell. That was an introduction to political comedian, let's say humorist, Mark Russell.

[Luke Burbank]

And let's see. Mark Russell, RIP Oh, I think not that long ago. I feel, well, let's see, 20, 23, we lost Mark Russell.

[Rick Sanchez]

I don't know if we ever talked about that.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, he loomed very large. I, I, I don't remember any of his shows, but I remember a lot of, a lot of, like, promos for it on pbs.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, so I'd be like. And I remember he stands up at the piano. That was part of it.

[Rick Sanchez]

Right. I didn't, I don't. That's not what I was picturing. That's Jerry Lee Lewis, as far as I know. But I, I could be wrong about that.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's see here. Yeah. My memory of it. Again, I could be wrong because it's all just through little snippets that they'd be playing on during other things on pbs. They'd be promoting it. But I felt like maybe I meant.

[Rick Sanchez]

I could be wrong. I'm not, I am not arguing with you. I just don't remember that aspect of.

[Luke Burbank]

It, you know, that you just said, I could be wrong, but I know what you meant.

[Rick Sanchez]

What did I say?

[Luke Burbank]

You said, you know, you could be wrong, but I know what you mean. You could be right.

[Rick Sanchez]

I was looking, I was looking for.

[Luke Burbank]

I knew what you meant, though.

[Rick Sanchez]

This is a different. No. Or I'm, like, really slyly, like, negging you. I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

That's pretty efficient.

[Rick Sanchez]

This is actually from YouTube. This is an actual Mark Russell comedy live from Buffalo, where urban renewal includes the replacing of the plastic flamingos in front of City Hall. Now, I will say he's standing here and he is standing in front of a piano. One spot with your hands folded, thinking of nothing. A widespread practice in Washington for years. Oh, those clowns in Washington. I will tell you this. In all of these clips I'm seeing so far, he hasn't played the piano, but he is standing next to a piano the whole time. He's never sitting. I have not seen this man sit yet, which really. There he is, Luke, standing, playing the piano like a hilarious Jerry Lee Lewis. You could not be more right, especially since I was nagging you before.

[Luke Burbank]

Hilarious Lee Lewis. Wait, what? I feel like there's something there.

[Rick Sanchez]

Hilarious Lee Lewis. I kind of like that. Honestly, that's as good as my bleating heart. Liberal joke.

[Luke Burbank]

Some would say better.

[Rick Sanchez]

Some.

[Luke Burbank]

Some have said that, and very strongly. Hey, I've heard that we've got some voicemail messages that we are still.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Working on clearing out. We have to imagine we're. We're getting. You know, we're in the home stretch here.

[Rick Sanchez]

I mean, we definitely. And I don't want to. I don't want to put my finger on the scale at all here, but as the. As the. As the messages on the wheel get fewer and fewer, I am seeing that we have jokes submitted. So if you spin this wheel carefully, it could land on some of these jokes. And we will have just had the perfect scene setup for this.

[Luke Burbank]

But what a great. Okay, well, hold on.

[Rick Sanchez]

Eight on our side, though.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know. I'm gonna try. I'm gonna. This is like. This is like doing, you know, the Price is Right. I'm trying to get it to come all the way back down. Around. It has to go around one time and then land on a dollar.

[Rick Sanchez]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Because then that means I think I win $10,000 or something of it. So here we go. Here we go. All the way. Slow down, slow down, slow down, slow down. Slow down a little bit more.

[Rick Sanchez]

One more click. Yes. Yes. I needed one more click. I needed. Yes, and we got the click.

[Luke Burbank]

Where did it land?

[Rick Sanchez]

It Landed on Puddle, TBTL's number one joke teller these days.

[Luke Burbank]

Kids and fantasy.

[Rick Sanchez]

Kids and fantasy. Kids and fantasy. Thank you. I like that all three of us got to say it. Wait, who is that actually? Whose voice is that?

[Luke Burbank]

Bill O'Reilly.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh, Bill O'Reilly. Kids and fantasy. You, me, and Bill all got a bite of that apple. That was great. Okay, so this is a. This is gonna be a quick little joke, I think, from Puddle. I don't really know the joke. So let's listen. What if it's. What if it's the bleeding heart liberal one? What if I actually had heard that and I was stealing it from puddle? That'd be awful. Hi, my name is puddle and I have the joke for you. The duck went to the bar and ordered a couple drinks. The bartender said, will you be paying for those with credit or cash? The duck said, put it on my bill. Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

That'S pretty good.

[Rick Sanchez]

Put it on my bill. What do you think about me and puddle hitting the road together doing. I'm trying to figure out, do we share this stage or does puddle open for me? I guess I probably open for puddle maybe.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. I could see it being kind of like a. Yeah. Martin and Lewis kind of a thing. Like, traveling comedy duo.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah, yeah. Like share the stage. Actually go out.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, yeah. Kind of set each other up for your jokes.

[Rick Sanchez]

I kind of like that.

[Luke Burbank]

That joke. I don't want to, you know, I don't want to tell puddle's parents how to raise Puddle.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh, my God.

[Luke Burbank]

But that joke involves a number of adult themes.

[Rick Sanchez]

Drinking.

[Luke Burbank]

Drinking is one of them.

[Rick Sanchez]

Debt.

[Luke Burbank]

Crushing debt. The difference between credit and debit. There are a lot of large. A lot of grown up concepts that are being explored in that joke. Also in a roundabout way. Having a bar tab. Do you think there are any bars that let you have a tab anymore? Does teddies let people have a tab?

[Rick Sanchez]

That's really interesting. I think that. I think if I went into Teddy's and one of my buddies was working there, I would never do this because I. But if I just said, hey, man, I just realized I left my wallet at home, but here I am. Could you just, like, start a tab for me and I'll be back here tomorrow to pay it? I think most of my. I got about. I think there are about four bartenders there that would do that for me, I think. But I would never test it.

[Luke Burbank]

That's special circumstances. I think. Like, I'm wondering if there are bars that are like, you know, the tattletale used to do that. Yeah, that was a. That was, you know, for, I think for, you know, anybody that. That was in there enough that they, you know, I don't know if you could walk in day one and start a tab. But there was a. It was like a recipe box. You know, like the recipe box. Like your mom might have that, like the three by five cards in it.

[Rick Sanchez]

I know, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

It was one of those. And it was all of the tabs. And like, I mean, I'd never been to a bar up to that point or since, where they actually let you. Like, you could run a tab. I don't know. I never had one there. Believe it or not, I was paying cash on the barrel head. Again, I don't want to get into economics or sounding judgy or whatever, but, I mean, one could say that if one did not have the money to pay for the beer, it might be a sign that one doesn't need to have the beer.

[Rick Sanchez]

It also seems like a holdover from a different time. And maybe it was a time when credit looked different. Like, you know, we have credit cards now and we have easy access to credit and to our bank accounts, but.

[Luke Burbank]

I just wonder if they take Klarna.

[Rick Sanchez]

I feel like, ask your doctor before you take Klarna.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, ask if Klarna is right for you. Don't take Klarna if you're allergic to Klarna.

[Rick Sanchez]

It wasn't our generation, but you and I were kids growing up and hearing a lot of humor or watching movies and TV shows that took place in the boomers generation, maybe even when they were kids. And so it's a holdover from this time, but I feel like the idea of debt or personal debt and owing somebody for food or drink was very common. Of course, of Popeye here, not Popeye, I think that he.

[Luke Burbank]

Wimpy.

[Rick Sanchez]

He was in the black. But yeah, like, wimpy gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today. Is that what he was going around saying?

[Luke Burbank]

That was what he would say.

[Rick Sanchez]

He's always borrowing hamburgers and, and, or like, at least, like, was Jughead borrowing.

[Luke Burbank]

Hamburgers in Archie, or did he just like hamburgers too much?

[Rick Sanchez]

I mean, he loved sandwiches. I think he likes all kinds of sandwiches. And really, were they, were they just burgers? Maybe I'm, maybe you're surprised by that. Maybe I'm wrong.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no. I, I, he could have been, he could have, he probably liked eating everything. I thought I remember him like, you know, he's at, what was it? Pops Diner. Is that the name of the diner?

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And I feel like he was always eating a lot of hamburgers, but again, I don't know if he was doing those on credit, but I hear what you're saying, which is, it is burst, though, I think.

[Rick Sanchez]

Well, this is search labs, AI overview, but it does say that in the original Archie comic. So this is one of those things where I may have led it on with my search, which was, did Jug, Jughead eat burgers, by the way? No joke. It Says that he was known for his love of burgers and eats them frequently. So it wasn't just any sandwich. Like. Like Blondie's husband, Dag Dagwood.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, but now the question was, was he standing when he ate the burger? Because I always. That's what I always remember.

[Rick Sanchez]

That's. That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

No, but to your point, like, I think you're also right that I bet you anything that we didn't. Most people didn't have five credit cards in their wallet in 1958.

[Rick Sanchez]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

And so, you know, you probably had. In fact, you probably had, like, maybe you had a checkbook. Obviously, I don't think there was such thing as an atm. Right. So you. You would go to the bank to. Maybe the cash that you had on hand would be from the bank. You might. You probably had a checkbook. You might have had a. Maybe a gas card, like a card that you could use at the gas station or something. You know, but. But I think a lot of things were. I mean, I get the sense that a lot of people at the. The grocery store, you would have a tab.

[Rick Sanchez]

Okay, can I can share something with you here? First of all, I would love you to share something. This is the Wikipedia page, not for Archie comics, but specifically for the character of Jughead Jones. He has a very long Wikipedia page.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Rick Sanchez]

And the first line under the subheading appetite and love for food is one of the most enlighteningly hilarious sentences I've ever read. And I'm gonna have to read a couple of sentences, but this first one, we're gonna pause at the end of it and just really appreciate it. Jughead is known for his love of food, especially hamburgers, and his ability to consume absurdly large quantities in a single sitting without getting sick or gaining weight. Although he often sports a pot belly immediately after a particularly large meal.

[Luke Burbank]

Remember this.

[Rick Sanchez]

Then it goes on to say, Jughead is a preferred customer of most of Riverdale's food establishments, and especially Pop Tate's Chocolate Shop, except when he's behind on paying his usually lengthy tab.

[Luke Burbank]

Wow.

[Rick Sanchez]

How about that?

[Luke Burbank]

Why is it that that's the information my brain has somehow retained more or less accurately?

[Rick Sanchez]

Well, you also got the piano thing right.

[Luke Burbank]

I think we gotta appreciate it, too. Does it have to do with the era of my life when I saw that when my brain was like a. It was. It was beautiful and pink and new. I don't think your brain is ever supposed to be pink. Is our brain gray or pink? What is the. No, our color. Our brain Is pink, right?

[Rick Sanchez]

I don't know. They say gray matter.

[Luke Burbank]

They say gray. I think of my brain at this time as being like, kind of almost just fresh out of the box. Just low miles and just like really, really responsive. Really, like, just like, able to, like when information came into it, it just kind of just absorbed it and held on to it. Like, you know, stuff like that. And now it's like, forget it. Like, I'll have a conversation with Becca and then an hour later I'll ask her the exact same thing. Or I'll say, well, what we're going to do about that? She'll go, we literally just talked about.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Does that happen with you and Veeves?

[Rick Sanchez]

Sometimes. Although I think. And this is going to sound a little defensive, I think part of this is, yeah, well, this is going to sound really defensive. And Genevieve is not fully to blame for the situation here. But I do believe that Genevieve thinks we're having conversations when I'm not in the room with her. Yes, she does seem to think that I'm always in earshot. And I'm often not, especially because I wear earphones or earbuds a lot. And aside from that, which is. That's on me, some people. I've heard people on the radio say, that's really rude. If you're wandering around your own house and you're married with like headphones on and blocking everything out. I don't think it's rude. We're both like kind of doing our own thing. She's watching a movie. But sometimes it'll be like, I'll just, you know, maybe ask a question from another room or whatever. But then, then, like, maybe I just need a one word answer. But then the conversation goes on for a while and I've sort of lost it. Or I'm now in a different room. But Genevieve still thinks I'm in earshot or whatever. I think there's information being passed along to me that is never actually reaching me is my point.

[Luke Burbank]

Gotcha. So that could create a little bit of confusion about what you should and should not be up to speed on. I think that's also the function or the result of just living with someone for years and years. I can definitely say in previous relationships, particularly previous marriages, there were so many times where I was like, we gotta just wire this house up for sound. We gotta record everything.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh, oh, you mean to. For proof of concept. To proof later.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, for like, for like. What's the word I'm looking for? Like, for inarguable or for like, you know, like, because there's nothing more frustrating than when you're in a conversation with your significant other and you both have wildly different memories of how a conversation went and you're both so unbelievably sure that you're the one who is right. That is one of those things where I'm just like, well can we please just start recording every single thing that we say so we can go back and get some objective facts on this. Now here's the thing. What I know now, being out of those conversations and not being probably triggered the way I was sometimes in those conversations, it's very likely I was wrong. In fact, most of the time when I go back and if I can double check something, I am actually not right about a lot of stuff. But in those moments you'd just be like, I would bet $1 million that this is what I said and that I didn't say that other thing, or that this is what you said or whatever. You know that that's like a very maddening moment to be in, in a relationship.

[Rick Sanchez]

Although I don't know if you're even gonna remember this, but I don't think you do want that technology because when it is used to prove you wrong. You got really upset one time and I don't, I didn't even realize you were upset until you told me the next day. But, but I remember this cause I was recording at my parents house. So I can sort of tell you exactly when it was. Like it was that week that I was in Cleveland recording from my parents house. And I think it was right around the time Russia invaded Ukraine. For whatever that's worth. I just happen to remember that being the big story that week. So that sort of timestamps it. But I remember just randomly on that show me mentioning to you that old Dirty bastard once recorded a bunch of lines for Mr. Ed for some sort of Mr. Ed project. And you're like, I didn't know know this before. I'm like, yeah, yeah, I told you on the show, I've played you the tape before. You're like, no, no, never, never, never, never, never. Well, the thing is we record our conversations and it was a very easy Google search me to find that tape. And so the next day I played it for you. And I think I built it up at the beginning, but it truly was just a spoof. I don't really care about this stuff. I was just like, luke, I have some tape I want to play for you. And I played it for you and it was our conversation from, I don't know, a couple of years earlier. All about this knows exactly how I said it was. And I was seriously not trying to win points. There was no tension there. But you later told me that that really pissed you off that you had to talk to Becca about it or something like later on that day. Does this. Does any of that ring a bell? And if not, I'm going to play it back for you.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the irony. And this is. And this is. Now this is. You know what this is. This is the kind of the upside of me having the memory of a goldfish. Now, I also don't remember that. Like, I don't remember being mad about it. I'm sure I was. I don't remember if you said to me right now, Andrew, this is like. I know this sounds insane, but I'm just. I'm just speaking my truth here. If you said to me here on August 13th, hey, did you know Old Dirty Bastard recorded a bunch of Mr. Ed tracks? I would say that's crazy.

[Rick Sanchez]

You don't even remember the second time we've talked about it now, let alone.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't even remember the second time. I don't remember being mad about it. I don't remember. I don't remember that that's a thing that occurred. Because here's what I would say right now, which is probably what I said the previous two times. I would have said those guys didn't overlap. Mr. Ed was on way too early for. I probably said that both times.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh yeah, this was like it was some project. Now I'm just gonna play the tape for you. And again, I'm not trying to like say I was right again or whatever, but just the idea of having the house taped. I wonder if you would want that, because I think that it might.

[Luke Burbank]

I would want it taped as long as I was right.

[Rick Sanchez]

As long as you were right, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, obvs.

[Rick Sanchez]

But my memory of this and not the memory of our conversations about it anymore. But just to set this up, one more is. And I think we've confirmed this a couple of times, I think it was rumored that they were going to make a rebooted like Mr. Ed movie or something that never came to fruition. And that ODB was trying out for it for like the voice part of being Mr. Ed. And that's how I ended up. This is a full two minutes long. Spin the wheel, let's see if it lands on this. No, let's see here. This is like a full two minutes. We're not going to play the whole thing, but I think you're going to recognize parts of this because a drop I used to use sometimes was him saying, you're dumber than a bag of hammers.

[C]

Don't worry about him. That guy's dumber than a bag of hammers at the bottom of a frozen lake. Seriously though, lawman, what we gonna do about Dakota? Nothing. That's the worst plan I ever heard. Dude, I read their emails, and if these things got published, they put Viagra out of business.

[Rick Sanchez]

What? Yeah.

[C]

And how do you know you can trust her? You're the boss, Wilbur. A blanket will be nice. I might get a little chilly since you ripped all my hair out. Mr. Ed, let's not get all familiar on the first date. Is this Dakota? This is Mr. Pope. Don't act like you don't know who I am. I'm a manless father.

[Rick Sanchez]

There you go. That's about. I don't know, not even quite half of. Oh, God, I'm running. That's what I was thinking of. I'm so glad you're playing that. Run on one more time. Keep playing it. Keep. Wait, hold on. Keep playing that. I'm gonna play this over top of it. Let's see.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, hold on.

[Rick Sanchez]

Let's see if we can make them talk. You try to pause. Can you pause yours? See if we can make these two talk?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, hold on. Let me drag this into another. This is worth. If it's worth doing, it's worth doing right. Let me drag this into my other system here.

[Rick Sanchez]

So bad.

[Luke Burbank]

This is gonna be so great. I hope you're happy, Puddle.

[Rick Sanchez]

Okay. Puddle. You did this.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. Ready?

[Rick Sanchez]

Yes. Okay. Are you gonna start it? Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Three, two, one.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh, God. Oh, God. I'm running.

[C]

Don't give me any of that nice to meet you crack. Trust me, if we meet, it ain't gonna be nice.

[Rick Sanchez]

One more time.

[C]

I know you're kind. I read the emails and I seen WNBA teams with more game than that.

[Rick Sanchez]

That was so great.

[Luke Burbank]

That was actually awesome. Sound artists. Absolutely.

[Rick Sanchez]

And totally live as well. That is fantastic.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew, I'm being. I'm not doing this for effect. I'm not trying to do a bit. That felt like the first time I was ever hearing that ODB stuff. I understand intellectually, you know what it's like. It's like I woke up from a coma and you're telling me things and I understand them to be true, but I don't have any memory of it. And so I have to just believe you. Which is a weird feeling because. Because I know that that happened. But that's such specific audio. Like, it's so. It's. It's. I can't believe that I have failed to retain it too. I'm hoping that this is the time it finally sticks. But let's try this a year from now, bring it up casually and see if I remember it. Because, I mean, it's already whiffed out of my brain two times.

[Rick Sanchez]

Well, not to be overly earnest here, though, I feel like that's not a good feeling for you. Like, I don't want to do that every year and.

[Luke Burbank]

No, no, no, no.

[Rick Sanchez]

Like you're losing.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't feel. I don't feel triggered by this at all. I think probably in that moment, who knows what was going on for me. And I was probably just like, feeling, you know, like, you know, I don't know what I was feeling, but I don't feel that way this time. I don't think that it would make me feel like you were roasting me if you checked in on the year to see if I remember. I just. Because here's the thing. I'm not. It's not that I'm forgetting some kind of a, like, I don't know, somewhat banal like, little piece of audio tape that could be easily forgotten. Old Dirty Bastard trying out to be the voice of Mr. Ed is. That's a hyper specific thing. That is ridiculously funny.

[Rick Sanchez]

Did you. While we were listening to that, you didn't happen to look. Okay, so there is something on YouTube here. Old dirty bastard auditioned for Mr. Ed. And it's about the same time stamp as what I was just playing. So that is probably where I got it from. But I'm just looking for the backstory here. Let's see your ODB's apocryphal. Doesn't apocryphal mean not real?

[Luke Burbank]

Apocryphal means not real.

[Rick Sanchez]

Okay, so maybe this isn't legit audio. This is from dangerousminds.net do you get excited when you hear about another.net out there?

[Luke Burbank]

I do, fellow traveler.

[Rick Sanchez]

See here.

[Luke Burbank]

But this is like I'm reading an article about this on. On the same website.

[Rick Sanchez]

Do you have any new info? So is this whole. I mean, it's really him though, right? But is it not? Or is it somebody imitating him?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, here's what they said. Yeah, the. Like you said, it's. It's listed. The headline is ODB's apocryphal Mr. Ed audition recording. It says describe, like, what Mr. Ed is. And then, oh, you know, I think this came. This came by way of wfmu, a blog at WFMU which already starts to feel like it might have a certain amount of, you know, what, satire to it. We can only hope that this is. It is what it appears to be an authentic audition by Old Dirty Bastard for the role of Mr. Ed. If it is, we can only applaud Sather, whoever that is. It's somebody, I think, who's doing the blogging over there. WFMU and company for thinking out of the box. Oh, maybe that's one of the Mr. Ed makers. If only this series existed. Alternately, there are two other possibilities. Either ODB and his crew were messing around, having fun, or else, if it's someone else. If it's someone else, then that person gets the genius points, whoever he is. So it seems to be unclear if this is actually ODB auditioning for Mr.

[Rick Sanchez]

Ed or if it was just a.

[Luke Burbank]

Big joke, but it's pretty funny regardless, so.

[Rick Sanchez]

And by the way, it makes more sense that this is not real, or at least not real in. In. In the context in which I described it. But you're telling me that this, this thing that you and I just read, that you read out loud, this person is just saying this isn't real, but we don't know what it is without any.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, it's a misuse of apocryphal.

[Rick Sanchez]

Can I just go around saying that, like, this person, they didn't give any explanation of why they know this is fake? And again, I want to make it clear I'm not arguing that it's definitely real. There's something fishy about this. But this person basically wrote an article that said this is fake, never explains why they know it's fake, and then says we don't know what it is. Yeah, no, that's really literally no information in that thing.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what, dangerousminds.net I expected better.

[Rick Sanchez]

We need that.net back.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Honestly, until you've proven that you know how to write a headline and an inverted pyramid and put an article out that has some journalistic heft to it, we have to take away your.net now. CNN.com can keep their URL for now because they're the ones that have the headline Mr. Ed to get a new voice. This is February 17th of 2004. This would have been my daughter's 10th birthday. Andrew Dateline, Los Angeles. Sherman Hemsley of the Jeffersons fame is lending his voice to the title character in Fox's updated version of Mr. Ed Hemsley joins David Allen Bash, who was previously tapped to play Wilbur Post, and Cheryl and Fenn tapped as Wilbur's wife. It's a Mr. Ed remake. Now. Did this ever see the light of day is what I want to know. And Sherilyn Fenn, she was a Twin Peaks person?

[Rick Sanchez]

Yes, absolutely. And when did ODB die? Odb died in 2004. So, okay, this, you know, I, I guess technically if this was, if you're reading this thing that is happening, that this story that you're reading about Hemsley that came out in 2004, you can imagine then that maybe, you know, 2002, 2003, they're doing auditions or something. I don't know. I guess technically this would have happened during ODB's lifetime. And that's what I'm kind of confused about. Like, and again, I feel like I'm arguing for it, that it's definitely true and I could definitely see it not being legit. But is it not. It's. The presentation is so like raw and well. Oh, baby, he likes it raw is what.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, he does.

[Rick Sanchez]

So I guess that makes sense.

[Luke Burbank]

But you made Dirt and Dirt bust your ass.

[Rick Sanchez]

It doesn't sound like something that is a spoof unless it's a really, really good spoof that they made it kind of like authentic sounding because somebody literally just wanted to confuse all of us or trick us. But why couldn't ODB have thrown his hat in the ring and just did a very half assed version in his studio and threw these lines together and.

[Luke Burbank]

Then, I mean, it could have been a time, it could have been the, like the Adult Swim ification of entertainment.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

In other words, like putting on maybe unlikely voices onto animated characters and people who would, you know, that was probably Adam West. You know, I know he was playing the mayor on Is that Family Guy maybe like just kind of putting people's voices on things that you might not always expect and then that being kind of the bit. Now here's the thing that makes me think it might be apocryphal because this is. Again, this is from dangerousminds.net so I don't know if what should be believed, but the, the headline is that pimply faced sack of demon seed. End quote. Colon, ODB's apocryphal Mr. Ed audition recording. Now, you didn't play this part of the audition, but if, if, if ODB is saying that pimply faced sack of demon seed, I have a hard time believing the producers of the Mr. Ed reboot had any need for that line being recorded. That sounds more like a joke to me.

[Rick Sanchez]

And you know what else is making me feel like it's not real? And this is a very tangential argument, but it's fact that all of these websites that usually would not even care to fact check something like this, like Uprox, refers to it as a rumored Mr. Ed audition tape. Like usually there's a bunch of blogs posting about stuff like this and we are the ones who are like, something isn't right here. I think these people fell for it this time. All of the most clickbaity blogs or whatever are calling it apocryphal and rumored. And like if they're saying it then I don't feel like I should be standing up to bat for it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I think it's probably unlikely that it's real, but I still think that. I think saying apocryphal in that headline, if you haven't actually proven that it's apocryphal, I wonder if the person who wrote that headline is totally familiar with the word apocryphal.

[Rick Sanchez]

But let me ask you this.

[Luke Burbank]

If you think it just means suspicious but it means made up. Right?

[Rick Sanchez]

Well, the apocryphal, that would. I'm a little confused why you don't think apocryphal works there. Apocryphal would be like an apocryphal story. A story of like, well, it's not true, but it's been passed around as true.

[Luke Burbank]

Right, but that's saying it's not true.

[Rick Sanchez]

Oh, I see. And then they go on to say, well maybe it's true. We don't know. Literally no information, but decided to write this anyway.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, if I hear something's apocryphal, my mind goes to, oh, it's a made up story and it's probably a really good story, but it's not actually true. So they're calling it apocryphal, which then means you're saying it's made up. But then they're going, going, we really hope it's true.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah. So maybe they should have said maybe. Possibly apocryphal, which would be.

[Luke Burbank]

That would have fixed it for me. Apocryphal.

[Rick Sanchez]

A good show title for me. Possibly apocryphal.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, that's a great Wilco record.

[Rick Sanchez]

I'm trying to type and talk at the same time. I really do have a question for you though. And it again sounds like I'm arguing for this. I'm not. I'm just curious if you think this is fake, and I think I do, too. Do you think it's really odb, but it's. He's reading something for something else, or do you think this is somebody imitating him?

[Luke Burbank]

I probably don't know ODB's speaking voice enough. Like, I know his rapping voice. It sounded like him to me. But also I was going into it.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Imagining his face saying it. So that might have already influenced my take on it. If it's someone doing an impression. You know what's crazy is nowadays in 2025, you'd have to ask, oh, is that just like AI, is that some voice generator?

[Rick Sanchez]

You know, that's what I was thinking, too. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But back then, I don't think they had that kind of technology back when this came out. So it would have been. It sounded like him to me. Did you think it was him?

[Rick Sanchez]

Yes. When I first set this story up for you, I forgot. And again, I think we've done this. I think we've done this conversation a couple of times. I don't even remember this part of it, but I clearly have looked this up in the past and dismissed the idea that everybody is calling it rumored and possibly apocryphal, because I thought it was a real project. And so clearly I want to believe. I just can't figure out. The only thing that makes sense to me is if somebody at WFMU was truly a prankster and created this with the sole intent of pranking people. And so that's why it is recorded in that way of this sort of rapid, you know, these one liners in rapid succession. And maybe somebody worked there who did a Mr. Ed impression. I'm sorry, who did an ODB impression.

[Luke Burbank]

And thought it was really hope that person wasn't white.

[Rick Sanchez]

As do I, my friend. As do I. All right, so listen, I know that we need to take off here, but do me a favor. Here's what. I'm going to force this upon you. I'm not going to play the voicemail right away, but I'm going to ask you to spin that wheel one more time.

[Luke Burbank]

And then what am I spinning for?

[Rick Sanchez]

Whatever. Whatever it lands on. I will play that voicemail. Start tomorrow, an Easter egg at the end of the show.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I see what you're doing here.

[Rick Sanchez]

Yeah, I think that's great. And then I'll play that voicemail after we say goodbye, and we'll just let the voicemail sort of speak for itself.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, listeners, baby, we got your v Mail. Don't you worry. I said, hey, I don't have a problem with you playing these voicemails, but I do have a problem with you not playing.

[Rick Sanchez]

Who. Why am I blanking on the. The. I love the woman who sings that part of that song and I'm blank.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think I know who that is.

[Rick Sanchez]

You do know. It's Nas's ex wife. We've talked about this a million times. It's, you know, it's milkshake. Khalees.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, Khalees.

[Rick Sanchez]

Khalees, I think. Hey, yeah, dirty. I'm pretty sure that's Khalees. All right, so you can't see. You're still. You're so weird. You're hiding behind that wheel loop featuring Police. You can't see. See it. Okay, I see what the voicemail is. The voicemail.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you going to tell us or you?

[Rick Sanchez]

I'll tell you that it's coming from Sarah in Pennsylvania. I'm going to play it at the end of the show after we. Right before we power out. I'll just play this.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Okay, that's going to do it for today's episode, but sounds like we still have a few more of these, so we'll get back to this tomorrow. If you bring up ODB tomorrow, it will be too soon. I will remember it, but I say if you give it two weeks, you've got a 50. 50 shot of me not remembering.

[Rick Sanchez]

Okay, duly noted.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday, take care of yourselves, stay cool, and please remember, no mountain too tall, and.

[Rick Sanchez]

Good luck to all. Hey there. It's Sarah in Pennsylvania. I'm not a new listener from Friendship, Wisconsin, but I have a dad joke for Andrew. Why did the nurse bring a red pen to work in case she needed to draw blood? Have a great day. Bye. Power out.