#4533 Little Aspires Everywhere

Summary

Below is a detailed summary of episode #4533 of TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live, titled “#4533 Little Aspires Everywhere,” released on August 15, 2025. In this episode, hosts Luke Burbank and Andrew Walsh riff on a series of listener voicemails and pop culture anecdotes while interweaving personal stories, irreverent commentary, and humorous tangents. The playful banter touches on everything from quirky celebrity impressions to bizarre aeronautical mishaps and the everyday absurdity of garbage collection.

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I. Episode Overview and Structure

• Main Theme:
 – A freewheeling session of voicemails, commentary, and stream-of-consciousness humor
 – A mix of nostalgic pop culture references (Kubrick stare, Nicole Kidman character archetypes, Shia LaBeouf’s viral motivational video)
 – Random yet relatable personal anecdotes (garbage can pickup woes, door defects, and aeronautics oddities)
 – A slightly offbeat, self-deprecating tone laden with inside jokes and quirky observations

• Format:
 – Casual conversation with multiple voicemails read throughout the episode
 – Timestamps are occasionally referenced by the hosts to anchor different segments
 – Interludes that circle back to common themes (doors, splinters, “just do it” moments)

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II. Introduction and Initial Banter (00:00 – 02:40)

• The Episode’s Kickoff
 – [00:00] A humorous sign-on with a quirky message: “The cobras are waiting for a message...” includes voicemail instructions (206-641-4TBTL)
 – Light-hearted announcements by both hosts, setting a jocular and irreverent tone
 – Brief playful banter as the hosts welcome listeners for a Friday “too beautiful to live” edition

• Setting the Stage
 – Luke Burbank introduces himself from the “Madrona Hill studio,” commenting on the slightly brown grass but overall picture-perfect vibe
 – Andrew Walsh enters with his signature wry wit, complimenting the introduction and sharing observations about the visual cues on their screens (the “Kubrick stare” discussion begins shortly)

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III. Pop Culture, the Kubrick Stare, and Celebrity Ruminations (02:42 – 06:23)

• Kubrick Stare & Iconic Acting Choices
 – [02:42 – 03:28] Andrew explains his unintentional “Kubrick stare” toward Luke, drawing comparisons to Jack Nicholson in The Shining and Vincent D’Onofrio in Full Metal Jacket
  • Notable Quote [03:05]: A: “I did something rare during your intro … and I was giving you the Kubrick stare.”  – Both hosts share insights on body language and iconic cinematic gestures that define certain actors

• Nicole Kidman and Character Archetype Discussion
 – [04:29 – 06:23] Luke segues into a discussion about online discourse regarding Nicole Kidman’s roles
  • They humorously note how Kidman always seems poised as the successful corporate type with hidden vulnerabilities
  • Dialogue includes playful phrases like “a freak in the sheets and a freak on the spreadsheets”
 – This segment fuses pop culture commentary with personal tangents, setting up further off-topic digressions

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IV. Nostalgia, Project Greenlight, and Shia LaBeouf Anecdotes (06:30 – 16:12)

• Deep-Dive into Project Greenlight
 – [06:30 – 07:15] Banter shifts to TV shows like Little Fires Everywhere (with nods to Kerry Washington, Reese Witherspoon, and even the mention of Italian writer Ferrante)
 – Luke reminisces about shaper communities like Shaker Heights and explains its pristine design, intertwining it with a personal memory involving garbage collection logistics in Cleveland

• Shia LaBeouf – From Viral Motivation to Monastic Vibes
 – [09:02 – 10:12] The conversation turns to Project Greenlight and the film “Battle of Shaker Heights,” starring a then relatively unknown Shia LaBeouf
 – [14:44 – 16:12] Andrew recalls a viral video of LaBeouf standing in front of a green screen, passionately yelling “Just do it” as if trying out his own version of a DJ Khaled moment
  • Notable Quote [15:18]: B: “Shia LaBeouf just got up one morning and said I should ... yell into this camera to get people hyphy.”  – The discussion humorously debates whether the video was a tie-in promotion or simply an artistic outburst

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V. Voicemail Segments & Door-Related Anecdotes (17:00 – 23:55)

• Voicemail from “Jake” and the Puzzle of “Doors Fail”
 – [17:19 – 18:40] The hosts spin the voicemail wheel, landing on a message from Jake
  • Luke reads out the cryptic “doors fail” entry, sparking a discussion on whether it refers to literal doors or the rock band, The Doors
  • The humorous confusion sets the stage for door-related motifs throughout the episode

• Summer Ash’s Aeronautical Splinter Story
 – [21:00 – 23:07] A voicemail from Summer recounts an aerospace engineering mishap:
  • Her splinter came from the nose gear landing door of the X34 vehicle, a unique souvenir symbolizing a failed rocket plane launch
  • Notable Detail: Summer specifies that the splinter was a “piece of carbon graphite composite,” linking personal injury with technological history

• Additional Banter on Doors and Splinters
 – Both hosts reflect on the recurring “door” joke, connecting Jake’s voicemail and Summer’s technical mishap
 – The dialogue underscores the show’s fondness for running jokes and the interplay between seemingly unrelated topics

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VI. Garbage Collection Tales and Final Voicemails (24:00 – 34:13)

• Garbage Collector Chronicles
 – [26:16 – 30:00] A voicemail from Eric in Walla Walla sparks a humorous story about negotiating with garbage collectors
  • Eric recounts a summer job from his UW days hauling lawn debris and bribing a garbage collector with Jim Beam
  • The hosts reminisce about similar personal experiences—missed bins, extra pickup charges, and a “scarlet letter” marking on garbage cans
 – This segment balances absurdity with earnest recollections, reinforcing the theme of everyday quirky stories

• Final Voicemails and Wrap-Up
 – [34:13 – 40:39] Additional listener contributions add flavor:
  • Alicia from Boston talks about a car battery incident and a mechanic’s unconventional approach (AAA and Corey’s handiwork are mentioned)
  • Ian in Tacoma and others contribute random trivia (double-bladed helicopters and a Flight of the Concords reference)
  • Jennifer from Aurora, Colorado, brings in a quirky note about Wisconsin’s mythical Hodag
  • A brief joke by “Puddle” and creative lines by other voicemessengers round off the hour
 – Notable Closure: Both hosts thank listeners and tease a return to “more regular stuff” on Monday while bidding farewell with signatures of “power out” and quirky catchphrases

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VII. Memorable Moments and Notable Quotes

• “Just do it” moments:
 – LaBeouf’s impassioned video segment and the casual invocation by the hosts of turning failures into artful anecdotes
• Pop Culture Callbacks:
 – References to the Kubrick stare, Jack Nicholson’s expressions, and Full Metal Jacket’s heavyset characters illustrate the hosts’ deep knowledge of film lore
• Recurrent Themes:
 – The recurring “door” motif links disparate voicemail stories, exemplifying the show’s layered humor
 – Garbage collection stories become a metaphor for the minor absurdities of suburban life

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Conclusion

In this meandering yet engaging episode, Luke and Andrew craft a tapestry of offbeat humor, pop culture trivia, and personal stories that celebrate the unexpected intersections of everyday life. With listener voicemails serving as both prompts and punchlines, “Little Aspires Everywhere” delivers a slice of life that’s as irreverent as it is thoughtfully absurd—inviting listeners to find laughter in the minutiae of modern existence.

This detailed summary captures the main segments, notable quotes, and intriguing tangents that made episode #4533 a quintessential TBTL experience. Whether you’ve been a longtime listener or are tuning in for the first time, there’s plenty here to appreciate the delightful chaos of their “imaginary radio.”

Transcript

[A]

The cobras are waiting for a message from you. So call up and put it on the line. If you've got something to say to Andrew and Luke, it's V mail time. I got the voicemail line for tbtl. I got the voicemail line, so remember it well. It's 206-641-4TBTL. That's 206-414-TBTL. But if you're shy, you can always send an email. Tbtl.

[B]

And now I must ask that small children leave, good women avert their eyes and men take a stiff slug of circus whiskey.

[A]

Behold the most hideous creature of all.

[B]

Did he yip or did he yiff? He said, skip and I said, no, my name's Buddy. Okay?

[A]

He yipped.

[B]

If he yipped, that means hello. If he yiffs. If that happens, well, then you got a problem. You know what might have been yiff might have been yiff. You know something? That was pretty funny. You should think about being a comedian.

[A]

WW this and WWW dot that.

[B]

Let's WWW dot explaining. Well, all right. Hello, good morning and welcome everyone to a Friday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[A]

That's a tuna, bro.

[B]

My name? My name, you ask? Well, it's Luke Burbank.

[A]

I'd like to grow a pair sometime.

[B]

I'll be your host today, coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the Mitee Columbia. Another picture perfect day.

[A]

Oh, Ma Pa, it's just beautiful.

[B]

I mean, the grass is a little brown, but we have. The dandelions are under control. I would say looking pretty good here around the old Madrona Hill studio. And it puts me in the frame of mind to want to bring you all episode 4533 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. As you may have picked up from that amazing intro package we played, we are once again going to be playing some TBTL voicemails today. This is my normal voice and see how many we can get through on this Friday as we wrap up this little project of catching cleaning out the closet. And the guy who's gonna help us with that, well, he's the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. And this is another thing. He kind of moonlights as.

[A]

Please welcome God's one and only voice of comedy.

[B]

He's Andrew Walsh and he is joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[A]

Good morning, Luke. I did something rare during your intro, which is I looked over at the screen that you and I used to communicate to each other. And it's got a little video of me there. It's got a video of you there. And I was giving you the Kubrick stare. I didn't realize I was doing that. Do you know what the Kubrick stare is?

[B]

No, but I'm actually gonna get. I gotta get eyes on this now.

[A]

So it's like. And you. If you look it up, is it.

[B]

What Jack Nicholson does?

[A]

Jack Nicholson does it in the Shining. I can't remember the name of the character who does it in Full Metal Jacket. You know, the heavyset guy who's in the boot training in the boot camp training.

[B]

Vincent d'. Onofrio.

[C]

D'.

[A]

Onofrio. He does it like when he's all he's ever known.

[B]

It's all he.

[A]

Exactly. It's when you, like, look down, you. You point your head down.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Like physically sort of tilt your head down, but then look up at the person with your eyes. Yeah, you're doing it. You're doing it.

[B]

And if you're Jack Nicholson, you kind of like, have your mouth open a little.

[A]

And you gotta have your mouth open in both of those examples.

[B]

Does HAL do it in 2001 A Space Odyssey?

[A]

I think in the director's cut, where you actually see Hal, you see.

[B]

Does Nicole Kidman do it in Eyes Wide Shut?

[A]

Let's look up Kubrick stare. And I think it's called the stair. Let's. Oh, you know who else does it is the old. Oh, it's got its own Wikipedia page. Luke. Wow. Malcolm McDowell in a color orange, head down, eyes looking up. Right. So can everybody picture this? If you're not, you know, I'm assuming you can't see us right now. I'm looking for other. Oh, yeah, it does look like Kidman does it in. In. But that one's a little bit more pleasant. But yeah, she does look down and then moves her eyeballs up. And ironically, they also put Hal in here as just a big red. That is funny. But yeah, it's a real thing.

[B]

I saw some online discourse the other day that basically says every single show that Nicole Kidman is in now is indistinguishable from every other show she's in.

[A]

What is she in? What's she doing?

[B]

She's in about five different things, whether they're movies or shows where she seems to play a woman who has it all. Like she's a high flying corporate star, but there's something about her life that is not quite working for her and usually ends up having a Liaison with a much younger man. But it's just this idea of, like, Nicole Kidman is always. She's in some show where she's a person who has it all together, but actually she's miserable. I think it might have kicked off with that big, Little, Big Little Lies.

[A]

Yeah. Which I did not see that one.

[B]

I watched it. I liked it a lot, actually.

[A]

Now, was she in the Little Fires Everywhere adaptations? I read that book, but I never saw the Hulu adaptation. You know, the thing that she was in recently that might fit into what you're thinking about was a movie, like actual, like, theatrical release. We know that she loves theatrical releases because even heartbreak feels good in a movie theater. But the whole thing was she was a very high. Or she is. She plays a very high.

[B]

It's like baby doll or something, right?

[A]

Yeah. And she's a powerful businesswoman who, like you, sort of says, like, kind of has it all and is a badass, but then sort of starts a liaison with a young. A young man. A much younger man, I should say, who is, believe, maybe works with her. But the thing about it is, and this is where it gets real saucy, is I think she likes to be dominated a little bit.

[B]

Yes. Right.

[A]

You know, so it's like that's their whole vibe, yin and yang, of who she is. Yes. You know, on the streets versus the spreadsheets, as they say.

[B]

It looks right. What is it? A. A freak in the. A freak in the sheets. A freak in the spreadsheets. A Nicole Kidman in the streets.

[A]

Yeah, that's exactly what they always say.

[B]

And they say it just like that.

[A]

They say it like that.

[B]

It's right off the tongue.

[A]

With some hesitation and a question, some.

[B]

Hesitation, a little bit of self loathing, some embarrassment. By the way, Little Fires Everywhere was Kerry Washington and Reese Witherspoon.

[A]

Oh, Reese Witherspoon. And that was a series they made of that. Right. I've never seen it. I read the book. I liked the book. I can't remember who wrote it.

[B]

Alen Ferrante or something.

[A]

Is that the author of the book? I guess. I don't remember.

[B]

I haven't read the book.

[A]

But on the east side of Cleveland. Sorry.

[B]

Celeste Ng. I don't know where.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's right. That, that, that rings a bell. Yeah.

[B]

What's the, what's the Ferrante one? She's like the Italian writer that, I don't know who I think does a bunch of these. What are her books?

[A]

You're looking it up. Right. You're not asking me because I am unfamiliar with this world, but I will plug for Little Fires Everywhere. The book, I don't know about the. The show they made out of it, but it takes place on the east side of Cleveland. And so it had a bunch of Shaker Heights. Yeah, Shaker Heights. So even though that's where Coach Ben.

[B]

Is from, of the tbtl, Little slugger.

[A]

I forgot about that. Right, yeah. And so it was interesting. I learned about Shaker Heights. I didn't know it was like a. A planned community. In fact, let me give you a little. Can I tie this to garbage collection here, Luke. This is something I learned. So when I was living with my dad in Lakewood, Ohio, which is on the west side of Cleveland, but kind of, kind of near west side, I guess, we had garbage service where the garbage truck would come and then little scooters would be like little golf carts would be dispatched to our backyar yard. They would go up your driveway and grab the garbage cans and empty them. Like you did not put your garbage cans out at the curb. The city comes up into your driveway to empty your cans. And I always indeed do. And what I learned in Little Fires Everywhere, because apparently this is true of Shaker Heights as well, is when Shaker Heights was built as a pre planned community, it didn't just kind of grow up naturally around something. They planned everything out and they wanted everything to be very pristine and look a certain way. And that's why they implemented that as well. They did want a community where on a certain day of the week, you drove down a street and you had to look at all these unsightly garbage bins. And so to that end, they said, keep your garbage cans where we can't see them and we'll come and empty them for you.

[B]

Nice. Pretty fancy.

[A]

Pretty fancy. And also a little. I think there's a little hoity toity, a little dark edge to that as well, I believe.

[B]

Well, I. I became aware of the neighborhood of Shaker Heights because I used to be obsessed with this, with a Ben Affleck, Matt Damon reality show called Project Greenlight. Do you remember this?

[A]

I do remember now that you say that.

[B]

It was such a good show. It was basically. I forget what was on. Maybe like IFC or something. Was that. Was it still happening?

[A]

That sounds right, actually. Yeah.

[B]

And. And so I was like, I think Matt Damon was in. I definitely know Ben Affleck.

[A]

Yeah, because they were like. Because they, they had earned their reputation as filmmakers from goodwill hunting. Right. And so they were. They're gonna greenlight other aspiring filmmakers.

[B]

So, but it started out with. And also at this time I was like a 20, you know, 3 year old aspiring filmmaker. I didn't aspire that hard. I mean, I guess I made a movie, I made a documentary. But like, so I was really just into this whole thing. And so, yeah, they would basically, it would start with all of these, you know, directors and writers pitching their movie ideas and then eventually they pick one and then the movie would get made. They would actually make the movie. And the reality show revolved around the making of the film. And it's really fascinating stuff actually, just to see what actually goes on and all the challenges and the budget stuff and just all of it. But the movie, one of the seasons, the movie that won and that they made was called the Battle of Shaker heights starring Shia LaBeouf.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

A then relatively unknown Shia LaBeouf, although maybe he'd been on like the Disney Channel, so he was probably known by like Addie, but to people like me, he was kind of an unknown. And he was the star of this movie called the Battle of Shaker Heights that they made as part of Project Greenlight.

[A]

Do you know that Project Greenlight was originally called Little Aspires Everywhere?

[B]

I wish they would have kept going with that. I wonder if, if I was the only person watching it.

[A]

This is a rude thing to say and we should actually turn to the voicemail wheel here in a second, but this is a rude thing to say and it just sort of sounds like, I don't know, maybe, maybe kicking a dog while he's down. Although I don't even know if he's down right now. But it's you telling that story kind of reminds me. It's kind of a nice to live in an age where we don't have to Talk about Shia LaBeouf as much as we used to. I feel like there is always some reason we had to talk about him and usually kind of complain about his antics because remember, like, even when he kind of like stepped away from some of the big screen stuff, then he became like this like artist guy. But he was always in your face with some sort of viral. Weren't people. Didn't he set up like sort of competitions for people to like, wasn't he hiding GEO devices somewhere? And I don't know, does any of this ring a bell to you? And why am I talking about it? If I'm saying that it's a nice time that we don't have to Talk about it.

[B]

I. I know that he's gotten deeply into, like, Catholicism now.

[A]

Oh, interesting.

[B]

So I think he's sober, which I. The sense I have is that that's helping him out a lot. A lot of his incidents that were going on. Where would he be under the influence of something? But he's like, yeah, he's. He's just become, like. He's become America's number one guy to go on John Bernthal's podcast and talk deeply about things, although it's questionable how deeply he actually thinks about things. So, you know that guy who was on, like, the Walking Dead, and he's on a bunch of other stuff. John Bernthal, you know, that guy is.

[A]

I don't know the name, but I'll bet you if I look him up.

[B]

Yeah, you recognize.

[A]

On the first season of Walking Dead.

[B]

I know him, and he has kind of moved. He's a sort of, like, interesting because he has a podcast and it's. It's manosphere adjacent, but it's. As far as I can tell, it's not political, and I don't think. I don't know what his politics are. My guess would be they're actually pretty good. He seems like a good dude to me, but his space that he's carved out is like dudes of a certain age just getting real with each other. And, like, I feel like Shia LaBeouf is constantly on that show, and he's constantly just getting real and getting real deep and talking about, like, I think Shia LaBeouf just finished filming a. A movie where he plays some kind of a monk or some kind of Catholic figure. And he's kind of like, you will see Shia LaBeouf these days, like, with a huge beard and long hair, and he's, like, wearing a wood cross. Like, I think he's in. I think that's the mode he's in these days. But I'm with you. I think that the world is a better place if Shia LaBeouf is doing well and if we don't have to be hearing about him constantly.

[A]

You know, I'm going to be rude to another actor. Looking at John Barenthal. Yeah. He played this character named Shane, who I don't think, you know, he was in a couple of the early seasons. A lot of the. As you might guess, given the plot of the show, you lose a lot of characters to, you know, zombies and people afraid of zombies and other people. But I remember, like, I can't believe how much of that show I watched the Walking Dead, because I remember giving up on it and saying, God, this feels like when I finally deleted my LinkedIn account, like, why didn't I do this so long ago? Like, I was dragging around. I was like, I gotta watch the Walking Dead. And I probably watched like every episode of at least the first four seasons or something. I stuck with it and I hated it. I thought that this guy was the worst actor. I couldn't believe he was. You know, I'm just taking every. I'm sorry, Luke. Wow. Taking everybody down today. He came from the. Jennifer who is the Citibank spokesperson? Jennifer.

[B]

Actually a former wife of Ben Affleck, by the way. Jennifer Garner.

[A]

Jennifer Garner. I feel like the same school of acting, which is just wrinkle up your forehead as much as possible. Just the.

[B]

Mostly while sitting in a cop car. If I remember from the first season of Walking Dead, isn't he a cop?

[A]

I didn't remember that. It was post apocalypse when it starts. So, yeah, maybe that does. Maybe he.

[B]

Maybe he was like a former cop or. I feel like there's a lot of.

[A]

Yeah, I forgot about intense scenes of.

[B]

Him sitting in the.

[A]

In the cop car, always being very intense. I had some tape here that I really don't want to play, but I'm compelled to do it. This was Shia LaBeouf. There was some viral video that went around where he was in front of a green screen yelling motivation. Do you remember this? It was really annoying. And I are. We are. I have nine seconds of Old Dirty Bastard. This might have been, you know, what he was trying out for the Mr. Ed Show. Don't let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday you said tomorrow, so just do it. Make your dreams come true. This is probably like 2013 or something when I'm pulling everything that could possibly be a drop. But pretty quickly you'll learn. Like, you don't want to hear this in an intro.

[B]

Unpleasant on you.

[A]

Very unpleasant. But I saved that one. But that was like a full thing of him standing, I believe, in front of a green screen with nothing on it. Like him just standing in front of literally a green screen screaming motivation. Like that.

[B]

Do we. Did we get any clarity on what product, service, or institution was being promoted?

[A]

I don't think it was a promotional thing. I think it was just some viral thing. You mean with that. That motivation?

[B]

Like, maybe. Well, yeah. Like, I didn't know if it was for, like, a fitness app or if it was for some kind of betterment program.

[A]

It just.

[B]

Shia LaBeouf just got up one morning and said I should. I Should probably just yell into this. Yell into this camera to kind of get people hyphy.

[A]

Well, now I don't know how much I want to do this, but here, I guess it's a full. A full minute long. He's wearing just a black T shirt and black pants and he's just screaming motivation. Maybe he's like, this is his DJ Khaled moment. But it was original video by LaBeouf, Ronco and Turner. I think he just was like. He was like getting arty and stuff and just creating content. I don't think this was like a tie in to Nike or anything like that. Even though it is called Just do it. Maybe I'm wrong about that.

[B]

Oh, I thought you were going to keep playing it. That's why.

[A]

No, I mean, if you want me, I'm just. I think it's going to be kind of awful, but let's just.

[B]

I think it's funny if it's not Nike related. You know what I mean?

[A]

Do it like dreams be dreams. Yeah, that's it.

[B]

Also, I'm now getting eyes on this. This is at a time when he had a pretty long ponytail.

[A]

Oh. Oh, really? I'm. I should. The front. I'm look. Oh, it's coming over his shoulder. I didn't even see that. I was like, how did you see him from behind? When you have a ponytail like that, you throw it over your shoulder like a continental soldier, right?

[B]

You sure do. Does your hair hang low? This was associated with someone named Luke Turner, who is an artist. So if you click on, there's some links with the YouTube and this guy seems to be somebody who uses a lot of written word and things like that to sort of inspire people. And I'm guessing that that was their collab on that.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. They had a website called La Boufronk Turner and I click on it and it is.

[B]

That's the law firm that represented me in my third divorce.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you said La Bou Frank and Turner.

[A]

And I think you said, I'm not sure, should I get a divorce? And they said, I think this.

[B]

Just do it.

[A]

Yeah. All right. That's awful. I'm closing that tab. I'm deleting. I'm burning my computer. Can you spin the wheel and I'll play a voice.

[B]

Here we go. Andrew. I say this with my whole chest. Just do it. Tell me where the wheel stopped and what voicemail we're going to be hearing.

[A]

Well, if I'm seeing this correctly, it looks like it stopped on Jake. I don't know if you can peek around there. Does that look like. Yeah, that says. Oh, my God. I think I did this one. You should be a doctor late at night.

[B]

Do you remember that joke?

[A]

Because of prescriptions.

[B]

Yeah. Like, I feel like that that's also something that's really gone away as we've modernized. Because I remember growing up just knowing one thing truly in the core of my being, which was that doctors had bad handwriting.

[A]

Yeah. Now they have bad. My charts. Look at my. My chart. I can't even read my own. My chart. You should be a doctor. All right, so here's what I think is interesting about this. It says Jake, and if I'm reading my handwriting correctly, it says, doors fail. And I literally don't know what that means. I don't know.

[B]

I didn't figure you for a Doors fail.

[A]

That's what I. I'm honestly curious, Luke, because I think this is a really. I don't know if we were talking about literal doors that one walks through or closes or the band, the Doors. I honestly have no idea. It just says doors fail. Would you go with me on this journey with.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

I'm assuming this is the perfect.

[C]

Daddy ahoy, friendos. Jake in Chicago heard you guys talking about the Doors. May have previously called in with this story.

[A]

So we were talking about the Doors.

[B]

Okay. So this is the band, the Doors.

[A]

Do you. And I'm not even joking. Like, do you have any record? I mean, I guess it comes up from time to time, but I've.

[B]

You sometimes will drop a soft parade reference.

[A]

When I was back there in seminary school. That's the first line of the soft parade.

[B]

It's the first line of the film. It's got to be on the money story.

[C]

But I. I think about it anytime the Doors come up. So my apologies. This is a recurrent story or whatever the phrase may be. Growing up, my family and I would go camping every Memorial Day to Manistee, Michigan. Up north in Michigan, a beautiful little forest right on the lake. Great spot. Somewhere along the lines, we found a forest. You know what? Forgot I called. I realized this story is going to take way longer than two minutes. The point is, I don't like the door, so power out.

[A]

Wow. I probably shouldn't have played that. I didn't know where that was going. I didn't know that's why it's a fail, because he bailed on the. On the story. I probably was thinking about maybe using that as the. Maybe to end a show or something like that, but I just Dragged it all over here. So, Jake, sorry, man. I just put you on Front street. We never know where that story goes.

[B]

But that's what happened. I was interested. What was it? Manatee, Michigan. I was interested in where the story was going.

[A]

I was, too. And then he's like, forget about it. He pulled out on that. Which I kind of understand sometimes just kind of like, abort, abort. But, yeah, you know what? I'm tempted to blame myself, but I'm going to blame the Wheel instead. The Wheel said to play that, and I listened to the wheel.

[B]

Andrew, this segment is high risk, high reward.

[A]

That's right.

[B]

Okay. And that's just going to happen sometimes.

[A]

It's going to happen sometimes.

[B]

I mean, but, you know, if we. If we're not willing to kind of, you know, put it out there, if we're not willing to take chances, then the show is going to get pretty boring pretty fast. If there's one thing the show is not, it's boring.

[A]

Spin it again, man. We gotta. All right. We gotta get this taste out of our mouth because we can't do this on Monday anymore. This gotta be our last day of doing this.

[B]

Yeah, I think. I think we've. I think we've done all that we can in the. In the voicemail space. All right, where did it land?

[A]

Oh, look at this. Our old pale Summer says Summer, our astronomer. Our astronomer. So I don't know what this is about, but let's take a listen. Let's hope that Summer completes the thought.

[D]

Oh, hoi. Hi, friendos. This is Summer Ash calling, and I have been meaning to call for like a week or so because I, too, am a member of the club of having a splinter and thinking that your body was going to push it out.

[A]

Okay. Boy, a lot of. I don't know if I just pulled all of these voicemails at the time or if it just really, you know, resonated with listeners that I had that. That splinter under my fingernail. And so I was really freaked out about it, and eventually it did come out. But back to Summer.

[D]

I don't know how everybody else knows that that's not a thing, except for the fact that I know that my body did not push this one out. So I want to be part of the club with Andrew's fingernail and Luke Storn. My splinter is a piece of carbon graphite composite that came from the nose gear landing door of the X34 vehicle. So once upon a time, I was an aerospace engineer, and I had to weigh the nose landing gear Door. And I slid the outer cuff.

[A]

This is another story about doors. See, think about it. It all kind of worked out.

[B]

And you don't believe in a ray Manzarek.

[D]

The nose landing gear door. And I slid the outer covering off and slid my finger right alongside and slid a splinter right into it. And we pulled most of it out. And then I saw it. Okay, it'll just push the rest out. And it never did. And now I just have this awesome souvenir of a rocket plane in my finger, which is kind of cool, because the rocket plane actually never got to fly and was mothballed. But I have memories, and that's what's important. Power out.

[A]

Wow. That is astounding. A metal splinter from a rocket plane.

[B]

Did you call it an X4?

[A]

I couldn't hear. Look up rocket plane. I'm gonna let you Google that.

[B]

I'm a rocket plane.

[A]

I don't feel like.

[B]

Yeah, the Northrop X4 Bantam, maybe? No, that was from 1948. I don't think that Summer was working on that.

[A]

Summer is more machine than human at this point.

[B]

At this point. And by the way, because of that metal splinter, it's no mystery why the thing never got off the ground. The whole weight and balance was thrown off because half of the thing was in Summer's hand.

[A]

Well, there were splinter. There were metal splinters all over the place. I don't understand how you get a metal splinter. I mean, I sort.

[B]

I sort of. Graphite. She said carbon graphite.

[A]

Oh, I see. Carbon graphite. Okay, so that's. That's more like. It's a softer material. It's not like. Like a hardened steel.

[B]

I mean, your guess is as good as mine. I. I mean, that's a pretty cool story, though. It's almost as cool as the thing you had in your fingernail. Yeah, almost as cool as me having a thorn in my knuckle from trying to get a wiffle ball out of a tree. She's like. Me and Bert Rattan were retrofitting the plane that he was going to fly around the world in without refueling, and I jammed my hand in, and it's still part of my hand. Now. How is that for an aeronautics pole? Do you remember that as a kid, the days of Bert Rattan?

[A]

I was just going with you on it.

[B]

He was a. He was a kind of aerospace, you know, like, legend. I mean, he'd been, like, a pilot and all this stuff. But I believe his. His big thing was he figured out how to fly around the world without refueling. And I think he had. Wow. He's from Estacada, Oregon, not too far from where I am right now. I remember as a kid, him having some kind of a. This insane airplane. Yeah. The Voyager. The rattan model 76 Voyager was the first airplane to fly nonstop without refueling around the world, piloted by Rattan's brother Dick and Gina Yeager. I bet that's a Chuck Yeager relation. Do you remember Chuck Yeager?

[A]

No.

[B]

I think Chuck Yeager broke the speed of sound. I think he was the first pilot to break the speed of sound. It's funny, because I don't think of myself as a person who followed any of this as a. As a kid, but I must have just been. It was. Been trickling down from Walt or something.

[A]

Maybe. Or, I mean, maybe you were just, I mean, curious about that. I mean, I guess now I'm embarrassed that I don't know.

[B]

This stuff, this Voyager plane, I just remember seeing it on the news. I think I watched a lot of the news when I was a kid, too, so, you know, it was the kind of thing that it would be a big, big national story that this thing was circling the globe without refueling. But anyway, point is, summer, story is pretty. Is pretty, boss.

[A]

Well, this winner that I got was because I was helping the Six Million Dollar Man.

[B]

Yes. Lee. Lee Horsley. You and Lee Horsley.

[A]

All right, just one. Just one more for the whole project. Oh, no. Got a splinter. Luke.

[B]

Well, now this wheel lives with me. Andrew, I've suffered. I've suffered for our art this week.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so, Summer, you're not the only one with some kind of a cool story about what's lodged in your hand. Now I've got part of this dang prize wheel.

[A]

It looks like the wheel wants us to go to Walla Walla, Washington.

[B]

Beautiful home of the Walla Walla. Sweet onions.

[A]

I think so.

[B]

One time home of Drew Bledsoe, who was famously replaced by Tom Brady as a New England Patriot quarterback, who has triumphantly returned to own a very successful winery in Walla Walla.

[A]

I would call Tom Brady a compiler. But anyway, let's listen to what Eric has to say out there in Walla Walla. It says, garbage collector booze. I don't know.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

Oh, you know what? Let me take a guess at what this is referring to. Probably when I was going through my thing where I had accidentally dumped a whole bunch of, like, dust and debris from my vacuum cleaner into my garbage bin, and the garbage collector here left a note saying, hey, don't do that. It gets in my eyes and stuff. And so I left him a little gift card for Jersey Mike's as a little Mike's way. Exactly. He did get it Mike's way.

[C]

Hey, dummies, this is Eric and Walla Walla calling. You've been talking about negotiating with garbage collectors. And when I was a student at UW 20 years ago, I was working lawn service during the summers, and my boss had a really elevated lawn service company. We'd go, you know, chat with Dan from Car Toys. He'd come out in an Armani suit and his Converse and chat with us. It was a really fun job, but we were hauling away tons and tons of grass and tree clippings and all kinds of stuff. And we asked our boss, like, you just put the stuff in the garbage, and the guy takes it away. Like, isn't it supposed to go to the dump? And he said, no. Like, first week we were doing this, the guy totally balked and said, nah, I can't take that. You got to take that to the dump. And so we caught the garbage collector and said, oh, what's your drink of choice? He says, I'm a whiskey guy. So what's your flavor? And it could have been Jim Beam. I don't know. So the next week, he's got a handle of Jim Beam sitting on top of the garbage, all this clippings. And he never again had an issue with his lawn debris getting hauled away.

[A]

So there you go. Okay, there's the power out.

[B]

I see. So it's a little bribery.

[A]

Yeah, I guess you just kind of keep those wheels turning with a little bit of Jim Beam. Or maybe a whole lot of Jim Beam in this case, by the way.

[B]

You know, we're kind of. We're bumping up against the end of the show today, but I've got a situation happening out here with the garbage people, which is. I think. I think we've got. Basically, we've got a garbage guy who is slap happy with that damn grease pencil.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Remember how I told you that he.

[A]

Wrote you hate being hollered at so much?

[B]

Sure I do. I dislike being hollered at. When he wrote on, like, in semi permanent, I'm sure I could wash it off, but it's still it. For all intents and purposes, it's permanent writing on my garbage can that says 3ft, and it's got arrows. And he wrote the same thing on my neighbor's garbage can. But I was driving down the road the other day, and I saw the same Guy's handwriting on a different garbage can that said out by 6:00am yeah.

[A]

Which you had that on yours for a while there, didn't you? And your places. That's the first time I heard about that. Because when I had my issues with them not picking up my garbage in my old apartment, they would claim that it wasn't out on time. And I knew that it wasn't true, which is why I started documenting it on social media. Like, look, it's evening, I have my bins out. And I never got that written on it. But you had told me, oh, yeah, they wrote that on my garbage bins out by 6am I think that might have been in, you know, up in the north.

[B]

It's basically how they get revenge on you because what happens is like, you don't get the can out in time and then you call and you say, hey, they missed my can. And then the people are like, okay. And they send them back out. But the, but the guy is making sure that you know that he knows that you didn't have your can out in time. And then they put that scarlet letter on there.

[A]

Yeah. And also. Which was a little. They would charge me. That's what kind of what got me. I would like, they would miss me. They would miss me with that garbage truck. And then I would call and say, hey, you missed us. And then they would say, okay, we'll come, come pick it up. And then they would put a charge on the bill for extra garbage pickup. And it's like, that's not extra garbage pickup when you didn't do your job. You know what? I'm not going to end the week this way. I'm not going to.

[B]

Let's go out on this side on a high note.

[A]

This is in the past. Everything is okay. I like my garbage collector now. He enjoyed the Jersey, Mike's gift card, because he left me a note telling me what he got the next week, what he, what he ordered at the sandwich place. I don't remember.

[B]

What did he get again?

[A]

Do you remember? I do not.

[B]

I probably have a photo, but it was Mike's way.

[A]

He did get it. Mike's way. Yes, exactly.

[B]

I don't know if we have a Jersey Mike's around here near me.

[A]

Have you, have you had it before?

[B]

I have had it in a pinch and I think I enjoyed it, you know, in the way that. Pretty hard to go wrong with a sub sandwich. Yeah, I, I, I'll be honest. I do, I do like the Jimmy John's. That's probably for me, the top. The top. Because they have a really yummy non meat thing that, you know, it's just, it's just a cheese and all the stuff, but it's especially good.

[A]

Good.

[B]

So I like the Jimmy John's. Although standing inside of Jimmy John's is what it feels like to be standing inside of the brain of somebody who is at a Trump rally.

[A]

I have only a couple of times and I don't remember having any kind of thoughts about the interior that much.

[B]

It depends. I think it's probably location by location. Some go heavier on the, like Jimmy John's isms.

[A]

Oh, okay. Is it. There's all these writings.

[B]

It's a bunch of aphorisms, but also a lot of efforts. Like when you go in the bathroom, like the men's bathroom, there's like stuff in there that's pretty misogynistic about just kind of like. Yeah, seriously, like it's, it's, it's. Nothing is wildly over the line, but you can just tell. I can't give you a good example, but there's just a bunch of stuff that's sort of on. It's, it's, it's one neighborhood over from political theory.

[A]

Really? Yeah. No. Is it. Do you have Shia LaBeouf yelling do it.

[B]

You do it in, in the bathroom at all times. Which is why I don't go back to that one on Broadway in Portland anymore. He's really upsetting.

[A]

So that's what he's up to.

[B]

I think that was Shia Laban buff. Yeah, it was someone with a beard.

[A]

Could have been anybody. Had a ponytail over the shoulder. I would like to point something out here.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because we like coincidences on this show. Or as you like to say, maybe not coincidences.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What did we just have? I deleted them already out of my list. But we had a voicemail from Jake that was, you know, again, let's be.

[B]

Honest, failure to launch. We're going to stay with the aeronautic and the aerospace stuff.

[A]

But what did. But what did it mention? Mention doors.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then we get Summer calling in with a story about a door that gave her a splinter. And then our last voicemail from Eric is a story that took place in the summertime. He specifically said it was a summer job. Each one of those. Oh.

[B]

So summer link.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Amazing.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I do think that we did some really good work today.

[A]

Yeah. I feel like we need. I, I thought that was gonna be a better power out than it was, I think.

[B]

No, I'm, I'm with You. I'm. I see signs everywhere.

[A]

Yeah, mostly in the bathroom of Jimmy.

[B]

John's, and they're kind of on the line. I'm gonna start taking pictures of them.

[A]

Please do. I wish I could.

[B]

I wish I remembered some of them because again, they're not overtly political, but when you read them, you can kind of tell the politics of the person who highlighted them, if that makes any sense.

[A]

Yeah, that makes sense.

[B]

But anyway. All right, well, listen, that was real fun, but on Monday, we'll get back to sort of more regular stuff.

[A]

But what we got to do is we got to get back into playing more voicemails at the end of the show. That's on me. I. Again. Well, it's on both of us in different ways.

[B]

Well, thanks everybody for listening. Thanks for spending this week with us. We will be back here on Monday with more imaginary radio. In the meantime, have a great rest of your Friday. Have a great weekend. Stay safe. Stay cool. Go Mariners. And please remember, no more Mountain Too Tall.

[A]

And good luck to all.

[D]

Ahoy hoy, boys. Love, love the new outgoing message. Well done. This is Alicia in Boston. I just had something happen yesterday and I need your thoughts on it. So I had an issue with my car. I got into my car, I got one of those scary warning lights about the charging system not working. And it actually told me, stop, pull over in a safe place and look at the owner's manual, which. Great. So I called aaa. Turns out I needed a new battery. Relatively simple thing. So great guy came very quickly, shout out to Corey at assured collision in Walpole. God, that doesn't sound right. Assured collision. That sounds kind of backwards, doesn't it? But I'm pretty sure that's what he said. Great guy. And he did all of the work, fixing the corrosion, removing the old battery, putting a new battery in with the car running. And I even asked him at one point, you want me to turn that off while you're working on it? And he said, no, no, it's all good. I actually prefer it this way. Way. What am I missing? Isn't. Isn't that a bad idea? I mean, I trust Corey. He got me going again. But. But it just sounds wrong. Anyways, thanks for all you do. Love you guys. Bye.

[C]

Hey, guys. Ian in Tacoma. I wanted to give a rare put up and not a put down. Luke was absolutely right that the double bladed helicopters arsenal and the blades are actually rotating in opposite directions. Because of that, the Chinook is actually one of the fastest helicopters in the world. Anyway, really useless information. But There you go. Love the show. Wow.

[D]

Nice, snazzy new voicemail you guys have. I just wanted to share something that nobody else could appreciate. I was watching a Flight of the Concords episode. The guys are sitting at a table talking in their apartment, and I made my husband pause the episode because sure enough, Brit is wearing a T shirt that says Trachtenberg family slideshow players on it. And that was just the whole thing that I had to explain to my husband while he sat there with glazed guys waiting to start the show again. So thanks for all you do and power out.

[C]

Ahoy hoy, friendo. Shake in Chicago. What's that drop that ends like? Excuse me, I've lost my train of thought. If this comes back to me, I'll call back later. Goodbye.

[D]

Hi, my name is Puddle, and I have a joke for you. How do you know a graveyard is so popular? People are dying to get in. Thank you.

[C]

Okay, I thought of it. It's. It's the one that's like he suddenly realized he was talking to me or something like that. I think it's like talking about a radio guy, maybe. Radio guy. I don't know, man.

[D]

But, hey, so excited that you'll be in Wisconsin, just south of my hometown. This is Jennifer from Aurora, Colorado, and I am originally from Latif Lambo, Wisconsin. And so I know that you're going to be not far from Hodag country. Hodag is a mythical beast that supposedly roams the woods of Wisconsin. So watch out. That's like, I don't know, it's a boar. It's a bull. I'm not sure, but it's got, like, spines down its back and. But I do know it doesn't look like an oxen, which is its origin story. Supposedly it rose from the ashes of an abused oxen, which is so dark. Okay, have fun in Wisconsin. Watch out for the Hodags.

[C]

Hey, dummies. It's Chris from New York. And all this talk you had about Surly TS employees reminded me of one interaction that I had with one at the Denver airport not long ago before. I had gone to the airport, grabbed a brand muffin and put it in my backpack. And the backpack was flagged. And of course, I had to go over. And he's like, do you have anything in here that can be sharp? I'm like, nope, I do have a muffin in there. And sure enough, that was exactly why it was flagged. And he goes, pulls it out, looks at it it and says, yep, they'll keep you nice and regular and then hands it back to me and I go about the rest of my day.

[D]

Hi, business boys. Congratulations on the end of the TBTL a thon. This is Ann Louise in D.C. and I'm calling because I'm at a Curt Vile and Pixies concert and I only started listening to Kurt Vile because of Luke. So thanks. Have a good weekend. Hey, boys, it's Maggie from the Middle show. I was just listening to today's episode and I like that thing that Luke and Bobby Pape have that says you'll think of something. I really like things like that. Things that just catch you when you're falling. I'm falling. You'll think of something. Okay, cool. Thanks. But I have one. It's actually a daily reminder that pops up on my phone. And I used to watch that TV show called Hacks with Jean Smart and it's funny and she said something that caught my ears and so I put it on my phone and I listened to it and I use it every single day. And she said there's always a loophole. So I've got that in quotes on my phone as a reminder every day. There's always a loophole. Deborah Vance. And it reminds me that, yeah, you'll think of something and there's always a loophole and going to work out. So any hue, any Hoodles or something like that. Power fizzle out.

[A]

Power out.