#4534 Loads Of Laughs

Summary

TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live

Episode #4534: Loads Of Laughs
Air Date: August 18, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Overview

The duo returns from a brief break with “loads” of stories and classic TBTL banter. Luke regales Andrew with travel tales from England and the Hudson Valley, including visits to Stonehenge and Downton Abbey (Highclere Castle), and an unexpectedly competitive wood-chopping session with Chris Hayes. Meanwhile, Andrew teases a burgeoning feud with his neighbor and airs anxieties about aging shrimp. Throughout, they riff on travel routines, antiquing, TikTok rabbit holes, performative luggage returns, cultural differences, and the significance of British/American language quirks.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Return from Vacation & Show Reboot ([00:56–03:24])

• Luke is back from vacation, feeling rejuvenated after travels in England and New York, ready to “bring it back home” for TBTL episode 4534.
• Andrew playfully questions the timeline of Luke's travels and the show's ongoing production, referring to the “wormhole” of travel status.
• Quote:
  • “That’s the Alaska Airlines status I’m at. I’m at wormhole status.” — Luke ([03:34])
  • “Not only do I get upgraded a lot, but the plane goes through a time space quark.” — Luke ([03:39])

2. Airplane Routines: TikTok, Bell Hooks, & Book Covers ([04:28–12:39])

• Luke confesses to marathon TikTok sessions en route home, oscillating between “AI slop” and “a five-hour crash course on physics and astronomy.”
• TikTok led him to science explainers—especially by Brian Greene—prompting existential reflections.
• Becca (Luke’s partner) chooses to read bell hooks on planes, which Luke jokes he bought “performatively.”
• Andrew observes the standardized look of airport paperbacks: “every cover… now looks like candy…a woman wearing sunglasses and a large hat.” ([10:36])
• Quote:
  • “If I watch a movie on an airplane, I will feel emotionally very strongly about it…I think I just feel a lot of things more deeply.” — Luke ([11:36])

3. Woodchopping with Chris Hayes in the Hudson Valley ([13:25–23:53])

• Luke describes visiting Chris Hayes and Kate Shaw, spending time with their “off the charts” kids and participating in a woodchopping project.
• He reflects on the physical challenge, embarrassment from ineffective chopping (caught on video), and Chris’s “World Strongest Man shit.”
• The conversation turns to the meditative, satisfying nature of manual labor and why it appeals as both exertion and entertainment.
• They joke about the Bush-era notion of “clearing brush,” now suddenly relatable.
• Quote:
  • “There’s this moment where… the ax is hitting the stump…nothing’s happening. And then all of a sudden…the sound…changes…and then it splits. But it’s the oddest thing because there’s like no discernible progress until everything kind of changes.” — Luke ([18:11])
  • “It’s literally one of my favorite things to do is this wood chopping.” — Chris Hayes via Andrew ([21:38])

4. Antiquing in the Hudson Valley: Confederate Records & Bill Cosby LPs ([26:48–31:17])

• Antiquing is a legal requirement in the Northeast, according to Luke.
• He is startled by a vinyl crate containing a Confederate flag album and, immediately behind, a Bill Cosby record, calling it “a real one-two punch.”
• Andrew ponders the ethics of keeping problematic cultural artifacts (e.g., Cosby albums).
• Quote:
  • “It wasn’t like one group… It was kind of like one group of people… then a different group of people [took over Stonehenge].” — Luke ([46:16], on Stonehenge, but applicable to artifacts discussion)

5. The Great Luggage Saga ([31:20–44:43])

• Luke relates an epic tale of needing extra luggage in Bath, England. He buys a £50 suitcase at TK Maxx only to have buyer’s remorse (“a grain of sand in an oyster”), finding a more pleasing £20 canvas bag after the fact and returning the suitcase.
• Andrew and Luke analyze why certain extraneous purchases feel so much worse than similarly priced vacation splurges.
• The saga escalates into customer service frustrations (Uniqlo belt returns) and logistics.
• Quote:
  • “The difference between having this POS suitcase from TK Maxx… versus this…bag that I’m actually excited to use again… I was like on cloud nine for the rest of the trip.” — Luke ([40:18])
  • “[It’s] about what you think this ill-designed TK Maxx thing sort of said about you.” — Andrew ([40:56])

6. Reporting back on Luggage Returns ([43:24–44:43])

• Update: Luke’s original, beat-up luggage made the trip. New luggage was returned but he awaits a refund, bracing for customer service headaches.

7. Stonehenge and Downton Abbey (Highclere Castle) Adventures ([46:18–57:46])

• Stonehenge: Luke is both awed by its ancient creation and slightly underwhelmed by its modern scale—plus amused that paying guests can get only 5 meters closer than the fence.
• Highclere Castle:
  • Lady Carnarvon’s attempts to capitalize on Downton Abbey’s fame by promoting her books, podcast, and family achievements, including ancestor’s involvement in looting King Tut’s tomb.
  • The “basement tour” is apologetically underwhelming (it’s just a photo of the fictional kitchen).
• Quote:
  • “My sense is there’s a dude…credited with discovering King Tut’s tomb. But actually Lady Carnarvon…would like to point out that her husband’s great granddad was very helpful in this process of white people looting this thing and is not getting his due.” — Luke ([55:34])

8. Microaggressions from Podcasts and Listener Minutiae ([59:51–61:14])

• Luke jokingly expresses disappointment that Bean Baxter, after their London visit, didn’t so much as mention him on Cup of Tea and a Chat’s “Personal Minutiae” segment.
• Andrew points out that even long-time radio folks sometimes just “punt” on minutiae.
• Quotes:
  • “I don’t think I’ve ever heard that before…I’ve never heard him just, well, punt on that.” — Andrew ([60:56])
  • “I have not fully read Harriet’s piece in the paper from Friendship, Wisconsin about us…part of it was that the print was very small and I didn’t have my reading glasses. True story.” — Luke ([61:54])

9. Britishisms & Loads of Laughs ([67:00–68:49])

• Luke returns from England with a fondness for the term “loads” (as in "loads of laughs") and “brilliant.”
• He reflects on adopting “cheers” as a general-purpose sign-off, especially with strangers.

10. Andrew's Shocking Neighbor Teaser ([69:55–71:28])

• Andrew promises a full story (for a future episode) about a late-night shouting match with his neighbor: "Nice job, asshole!" (the last words exchanged).
• Teases setup and background are required—this is “the whole show tomorrow.”

11. Donor Thanks & Housekeeping ([71:39–79:28])

• Routine donor thank-yous interspersed with banter about composting shrimp and local listener connections.
• Clarifies recent programming: two weeks of shorter, prerecorded episodes were not punishment for fundraising results, just a less-telegraphed break ("summer games"). They're open to feedback about announcement strategy.

12. Listener Voicemails: Why Jake Hates The Doors ([80:09–84:13])

• Jake from Chicago calls back to explain childhood trauma involving parents singing “Children of the Corn” to the tune of “Riders on the Storm,” set among eerily aligned forest trees—forever ruining the Doors for him.
• Side tangent: iconic artwork "Urban Light" at LACMA.
• Quote:
  • “You have a negative association with it. And then you hear the song 'Riders on the Storm,' and you’re like, whoa, that’s the song that scared me as a kid.” — Luke ([83:53])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You are a magic man. Welcome back.” — Andrew ([03:20])
• “It actually ended up going really well… a wonderful time in the Hudson Valley… I would like to talk to the local antique shops about some of their record selections.” — Luke ([21:38])
• “That's a real one-two punch.” — Luke, on finding back-to-back Confederate and Bill Cosby records ([29:10])
• “This bag makes me so happy.” — Luke (multiple instances across [40:18–41:14])
• “It just felt like I had solved some very long-standing and hard-to-solve equation…” — Luke ([42:49])
• “If anybody should understand wormholes, it’s me—after basically I told Becca I just had, like, a five-hour crash course on physics and astronomy.” — Luke ([07:34])
• “My water breaks became more frequent.” — Luke (woodchopping, [23:53])
• “Are all of the lyrics of that song just the word 'men'?” — Luke, on Two and a Half Men ([26:06])
• “Is this Downton Abbey canon or not, Lady Carnarvon, or is this you flexing?” — Luke ([56:25])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment Description | |-----------|---------------------| | 00:56 | Luke returns, describes trip, show resumes | | 04:28 | Airplane TikTok binge, Brian Greene, bell hooks | | 13:25 | Woodchopping stories with Chris Hayes in Hudson Valley | | 26:48 | Antiquing: troubling record finds | | 31:20 | Luggage saga: TK Maxx suitcase, logistics, returns | | 46:18 | Stonehenge: underwhelming but fascinating | | 51:15 | Highclere Castle/Downton Abbey tour & Egyptology | | 59:51 | Cup of Tea and a Chat: Luke not mentioned | | 67:00 | Adopting “loads,” “brilliant,” and “cheers” | | 69:55 | Andrew’s neighbor feud teaser | | 71:39 | Donor thanks/housekeeping chat | | 80:09 | Listener voicemail: Jake’s Doors trauma |

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Tone & Style Notes

• The show maintains its signature rhythms—goofy, affectionate, self-deprecating, and existential in equal measure.
• Both hosts embrace digression, wringing humor and insight from detours both personal (luggage ennui, woodchopping embarrassment) and cultural (antiquing, Britishisms).
• Language is candid, meandering, and original quotes retain the hosts’ offbeat cadence.

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For New Listeners

This episode offers classic TBTL: heartfelt travel anecdotes, pop culture detours, listener interaction, and obsessions with minutiae (from TikTok algorithms to the return policies of UK retailers). If you missed it live, you’ll walk away with a strong sense of the hosts’ friendship, their eye for life’s absurdities, and the show’s gentle, authentic appeal. Tomorrow promises an epic Andrew-on-neighbor showdown, so stay tuned!

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Power Out.

Transcript

[Andrew]

We're Moms on the Net. We became Moms on the Net because there are so many resources available on the Internet for moms and their families. The Net is exciting. When it's time for the real action, we surf. Surf the Net. Learn with us as we ride the wave of information called the Internet. TBTL In 1971, Bill Graetz invented Michael Soft. Wouldn't it be cool if.

[Luke Burbank]

If I can remember my dingus password for my email?

[Andrew]

You can't be serious.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I'm serious, baby.

[Andrew]

I am Yahoo serious. I'm serious.

[Luke Burbank]

FM welcome to the world Serious of Seriousness. Sponsored by Honey Nut Serios. I like not having fun.

[Andrew]

I like your idea of fun. I mean, our idea of fun. I like not having that.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you're. You're going to tell a story.

[Andrew]

I don't believe that I can bear to listen to another one of your stories right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, all right. Hello. Good morning, Goodwill. Welcome, everyone, to a Monday edition of tvtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live. I'll do it until it stops. Will you please stop? My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host. I'm back, baby. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia. Bring it back home, baby. Bring it back home. That's right. It is a beautiful Monday here in August in. In Southern Washington. Oh, Ma Pa. It's just beautiful. Back from some little break times and ready to bring you episode 4534 in a collector series.

[Andrew]

Let the fun begin.

[Luke Burbank]

I did take a little vacation to England, gentlemen, to bet, for we leave at 9:30.

[Andrew]

Ish.

[Luke Burbank]

Ish. Saw Stonehenge and Downton Abbey, which is actually called Highclere Castle. And of course, I'll have the weekend.

[Jake]

What is a weekend?

[Luke Burbank]

That is that audio drop was reverberating in my head as I toured around Highclere Castle, where they have posted, they've like printed out and then laminated and then tacked up various quotes from the Dowager Countess. And then after our time in England, then we stopped off in the beautiful Hudson Valley of New York, where I helped our friend, television's Chris Hayes, chopped some wood. Do you need wood? And had an absolutely wonderful time out there with him and his wife and his wonderful children and some of the friendliest mosquitoes I've ever met. There's a lot going on out there in the Hudson Valley. We've got a lot going on on today's show, being that it's our first one back in a little while. And of course, that means we're going to have this guy here. The longest running cobra of the show. Isn't he the best? Maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew]

Good morning. So wait, you were in England? You're in England and you're in upstate New York? Well, who was I doing the show with last week? How does. How does that even pencil out? I remember distinctly going through voicemails with you. Remember you got a little shy during the Blurs days. These are all real memories they had, right? Yeah, you were feeling really shy. I'm glad you've come out of your shell. I don't know how you pull this off, man, but this is the. You are a magic man. Welcome back.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, I hit a wormhole somewhere that allowed me between Friday afternoon and today to travel in England for two weeks.

[Andrew]

Aren't we so clever? Well, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the Alaska Airlines status I'm at. I'm at wormhole status.

[Andrew]

Oh, wow. How many months?

[Luke Burbank]

So I am. Not only do I get upgraded a lot, but the plane goes through a time space quark.

[Andrew]

How many light years do you have to travel to get to that status?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I should know because on the entire flight home from New York to. To Portland on Saturday, this is the embarrassing thing of actually traveling with my girlfriend. See, normally I'm traveling by myself and nobody is observing what I'm doing in the world when I'm on the airplane. But at the end of the flight, she just looked at me. She goes, do you get tired of scrolling TikTok for that long? And I said, you know, it kind of depends on the content. This is a true story and a true statement from me, which is, yes, if I am, I have so much to talk about and I know that you're in a hot war with your neighbor. There is much to get to on today's show. I don't need to get into TikTok talk, but the thing about the for your page these days is it will just for whatever reason, one day will be delivering me absolute AI slop and just pointless like junk food of the Internet. So things with no nutritional value and yes, scrolling that for multiple hours does leave me feeling kind of bad, just kind of empty. And like I ate a bunch of empty calories. Now, for some reason on Saturday, my phone decided to take me on a journey of mathematical and astronomical discovery. Maybe because I let this video of Neil Degrasse Tyson happen, but suddenly I was just getting all of these great tutorials about string theory. You know that, that physicist Brian Greene.

[Andrew]

Yes, I was trying to think of his name.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, Brian Green, particularly well known for explaining. Dude, he said something in one of these videos that was absolutely wild. If you took all of the. The history of this planet. If you took the history of planet Earth and you put it into a 12 month calendar year, right? So January 1 second into January 1 is like Earth is formed, Right. It would be the last day of September in the last 29 seconds when humans show up our entire existence as we think of it, from we walk upright to we fashion tools, to we build buildings, to we elect Donald Trump, to we destroy the world, which I assume is in a month or two from now. All of everything we think of as human existence would be in the last 23 seconds. The last.

[Andrew]

So the last September.

[Luke Burbank]

No, December of December of the year.

[Andrew]

September before.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I'm sorry, my bad.

[Andrew]

Oh.

[Luke Burbank]

So yeah, December, December, what is that, 31st, the last day of December, in the last hour, in the last minute. And the, the last minute starts and it foams off like whatever. The math is on that between. It goes down to like 23 seconds before we even show up.

[Andrew]

But how does Noah's Ark fit into all that, though?

[Luke Burbank]

That is a. You're asking some really good questions here on a Monday.

[Andrew]

Has anybody asked Brian Greene that? By the way, I have a very uninteresting question about this, but I'm curious, so I'll ask it anyway. We're back, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew]

When you're seeing these Brian Greene. When you're seeing these Brian Greene clips, are they from like 25 years ago when he was like really making the circuit and that, you know, his kind of Many parts docu series was out? Or is is it him modern day still kind of talking about this stuff and presenting it? Like, is he recording Tiktoks or are people just finding old stuff and chopping it up?

[Luke Burbank]

It's mostly people just clipping interviews with him, but they're not necessarily from 25 years ago. They're more recent, I would guess, because he's got very noticeable hair. He's got a lot of hair and it's, it's very boyish and it's much shaggy, er, in like the 20 year ago clips. And then it kind of. You watch his hair go through different, like, styles. Sort of like a. That book at Supercuts that you flip through to tell them which of the haircuts you might.

[Andrew]

Oh, I don't know. About that.

[Luke Burbank]

And so you can kind of see.

[Andrew]

I want the pheasant under glass.

[Luke Burbank]

You just Google pheasant under Bob Odenkirk. Pheasant under glass. See Andrew, we picked it right up where we left off last week. It's like no time has elapsed. So anyway, if anybody should understand wormholes, it's me. After basically I told Becca, I was like, I just had like a five hour crash course on physics and astronomy and you know, it was, it was actually very educational and it really did feel to me like the best expression of this otherwise kind of life sucking thing that is TikTok. It's like, well if it's, if it's because I was, I was watching some of these videos and then I would cross reference them so it'd be talking about, you know, a particular mathematical principle or like, you know, the Fermi paradox, which is just basically why haven't we made. Why haven't if there are aliens, why haven't they made contact. Contact with us or whatever. Or it would be like just other things that were sort of big cont, big concepts that I was unfamiliar with. And I would watch a TikTok video and then I would go google that concept. Then I would read about it, granted, on its Wikipedia page, but still like it felt like this was adding to my life instead of taking away from my life.

[Andrew]

Well, I have a question for you if you don't mind me asking. And if Becca doesn't mind me asking, what does Becca do on an airplane?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, she read a bell hooks book that I performatively bought at a bookstore in London.

[Andrew]

Who's bell hooks? Is that a. That's a name.

[Luke Burbank]

Bell hooks is a writer and kind of, I don't know if I would say cultural critic, but she passed away not that long ago. But she's I think very, very well respected and I think a lot of her writing sort of has resurfaced in the last few years. People have posted, you know, really interesting things that she has written and I had read a lot of her stuff as it was excerpted on the Internet, but I hadn't ever actually read one of her books. And I was in, we went to this bookstore in London and I saw it and I thought this would be a good, a good thing for me to actually read cover to cover and just kind of like round out my, my sort of knowledge and experience around some of bell hooks writing. I say performatively because, you know, bell hooks is also for a certain kind of person, a person that you should be reading. You know, it'd be like sort of picking up a James Baldwin book or something. It's being like, I'm the kind of person who reads important things from authors who are not. Last name Crichton.

[Andrew]

Well, that's why actually that's interesting when you said bell hooks. And I'm kind of looking at her books and stuff now. This is a huge blind spot for me. But I wasn't sure if bell hooks was maybe the opposite. Maybe some. Because sometimes when you're in an airport or you're traveling, it's like, I told you. I had a buddy who was actually like a pretty good chef and stuff and enjoyed like kind of very kind of high end food stuff. But when he was on book tours, he liked being in airports because as an excuse to eat at Chili's. And so he was kind of like, yeah, no, this is my. This is my excuse to eat at Chili. He's like, I'm kind of somebody else when you're traveling. And I think people do the same thing with literature. I love looking over on a plane and just seeing somebody reading literally a paperback copy of something kind of pulpy. Whether it's like on the romancy side or the mystery side or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Let's be honest, the COVID of every book in the Hudson booksellers now looks the same. It's this certain kind of cartoonish thing and it often has a woman wearing sunglasses and a large hat.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And this very sort of. Yeah, that's been going on for a while now. I remember reading some pieces about it a couple of summers ago. But like what happened to. What happened to our book covers where they all look like candy now? Sort of. And I think that's the thing. But anyway, so that's why I wasn't sure if maybe because I don't. On planes I. We don't have to get into what my routine is. But it does tend to be a very personal choice for a lot of people. Like what gets you through it. I don't think endlessly scrolling TikTok would do that for me. I think I'd get that empty feeling in my stomach. Sort of the thing that like just like kind of that scrolling thing. Sometimes it doesn't make time go by faster for me. So I'll look for a longer movie to watch or something. But then I'll sort of time it out a little bit and I'll start by reading a book. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So anyway, I wasn't sure, but there's Becca reading Some high minded, like important.

[Luke Burbank]

Cultural that I brought. Well, you bought it performatively.

[Andrew]

You bought it so that she could read it and tell you basically what's in it.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I bought it so that. Because my. I have a sort of the opposite which is I actually really like. I get very meditative when I'm on an airplane or at least I get my. My something. This is probably related to the fact that I can. If I watch a movie on an airplane, I will feel emotionally very strongly about it. Like I could be crying even if it's not a movie that would make me cry if I were on terra firma. And I think I just feel a lot of things more deeply. In fact, that's probably why I was really feeling the. This kind of, like I said, astronomical and kind of philosophical conversations that I was seeing on TikTok.

[Andrew]

They've.

[Luke Burbank]

I was like, wow, I haven't considered some of these concepts. So I like to, if I'm going to read a book, I actually like it for me personally to be something that is on kind of matters that are important because I'm feeling things deeply. Whereas if I'm at my house I may have a harder time picking up that book because again I have every single distraction for me. Whereas on the airplane, particularly if the wifi is lousy, I have less distraction. Although in this case the WI fi was rock solid, which again was why I ended up just scrolling TikTok most of the time.

[Andrew]

It is amazing that you just used the word lousy there and emphasized it because what I was about to say was I really had Becca pegged as a puzzle person on an airplane because Genevieve's a big puzzle person. Airplane. I know that Becca really likes wordle and lousy was. Or lousy. I think I always say lousy.

[Luke Burbank]

It's lousy. Lousy is more like you are having lice. Lousy is. It's, it's, you know, not great.

[Andrew]

But that was a word. I think yesterday or the day before was lousy. But yeah. So Becca's doesn't have like a big book of cryptograms or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Doesn't bring her like sudoku book on there or anything like that. No, you can't.

[Andrew]

See, I tried to judge someone.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you can't. You, you cannot predict. You just don't know what's going to happen.

[Andrew]

Well, good. Well, we've covered your vacation. That's good.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew]

We got all the important parts.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't know it was going to happen when, when we went out and visited the Hayes Shaw family in the Hudson Valley of New York. That would be Chris Hayes and Kate Shaw and their kids, by the way. Their kids are so, so great. Like, I mean, you know me, I'm. I love kids anyway and I'm always very often if there's a get together or a barbecue, you'll like find me like playing basketball with, you know, the younger set or just kind of like, I don't know. I think for some reason I tend to vibe with kids pretty well, maybe in a way that I don't always, even with adults. And so, but even by my predisposed to liking kids standards, these Shaw Hayes kids are just off the charts.

[Andrew]

Did you play basketball with them? Because I know one of them is a real Hooper.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't dare with David. No. That kid has. It's ridiculous, like, how good that kid is at basketball and magic tricks. I hope I'm not oversharing, but there was a talent show on Friday there in the Hudson Valley that was associated with the camp that these kids go to, and they were all due. I think Ryan, their oldest, did a performative dance and I think that David did a magic trick, which then later that night he performed for me and Becca. We were stunned. We were really good magic tricks, actually. But we went out there and visited with them. But there's this project that Chris really has been working on for a while, has been toiling away at, which is that they took down this big. I think it was like a maple tree and it needed to be chainsawed into smaller pieces and then chopped and then stacked. And this is how next level this guy is. Out at this place, there's last year's wood that's now dry enough to burn this year. And we were stacking the greener wood so that it can sit for a year and then be ready to go next year. That's some planning for you. My version of that is grabbing a dura log at the Carroll's Market down.

[Andrew]

The road and for some reason carrying an axe into the store and making.

[Luke Burbank]

Everybody a little bit assert my machismo. But so we. It was funny too, because like that morning, I mean, it's just that that area of the Hudson Valley is just absolutely gorgeous. And where we were staying at our Airbnb, there was this really amazing trail that was perfect for jogging, which is something Becca loves to do on vacation. I'm always really happy that we did it, but I'm always like, is this my vacation? Is this my vacation that I have to get up and run Every morning. But so that I was like, you know, I had floated the idea to her that maybe on the day that Chris and I were going to chop wood, that would be my exercise.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Because it was really hard.

[Andrew]

I believe it. I mean, Chris was sending. Chris kept sending me photos and videos of you guys chopping wood.

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't even know he was like filming me trying to like chop this wood ineffectively, by the way.

[Andrew]

It was really sweet actually. I felt like he was looping me in on your guys adventures. But I will say this because I used to chop some wood in New Hampshire, right. But it wasn't wood that came from our property. We just had a tiny little house there. But we would get like some wood. Like again, like you said, it had to be seasoned already. Like that's the market, you know, you want the seasoned wood. So some truck would come and dump a bunch of it and we'd have to split it. But the thing is we would have like a big huge piece of like log. I think Genevieve actually pulled over on the side of the highway one time to pull this huge stump into the.

[Luke Burbank]

Back of her omg for firewood purposes.

[Andrew]

Well, what it was was the stump that we put logs on to chop it. It was our chopping block, like quite literally. Right. And I saw you and I'm like, why is he chopping the chopping block? Because you were chopping this huge. It was so wide and stout. And I'm like, why is he chopping directly in the chopping block? And then as I continue to watch the video, I'm like, oh shit dog. That's not the chopping block. That's the, that's the wood. Like it was so thick and you're just like chopping, chopping, chopping. I'm like, it's never. And then I even heard Chris say, like, see, it'll eventually go through. You must have thought it was never going to actually crack.

[Luke Burbank]

I did. I had a lot to learn about this whole wood chopping thing because I mean, maybe when I was a kid at my parents place I had chopped some wood or something. But it was, yeah, first thing. You're absolutely right. It's much harder to do it when it's on the ground because the grass is, you know, it's sort of spongy. And if you're trying to chop this, you're better off. But sometimes some of these pieces were so heavy that I physically couldn't really lift it and put it onto a different stump and to chop it there. So I was just chopping it on the ground, but it was kind of. It was more challenging that way. And then sometimes if they were smaller, we would pick them up and put them. Or let's be honest, Chris would. Because the dude is friggin.

[Andrew]

I've seen he would like be pick.

[Luke Burbank]

It was really some World Strongest man shit going on because like so first we would like chainsaw a big section of this much longer tree trunk and then it would be a piece that I could physically not pick up. And then he would just like, I don't know how much World's Strongest man you've watched, but where they have these big stones that they have to pick up and place on like increasingly taller platforms. Like he would just like pick this big ass stump up and then put it on a different stump and then start chopping it. But you're exactly right. There's this moment where you're. The ax is hitting the. We'll just call it the stump, the piece of wood. And like nothing's happening. It's making the tiniest and it's almost bouncing back a little bit. This wood was pretty wet still. And it's an article of faith really that you will at some point see a difference because for the first four or five whacks at it, nothing's happening. And then all of a sudden something changes and it's imperceptible. But all of a sudden you hit it and the sound of the ax hitting the wood changes a little bit. And then you know that you're sort of getting close and then it's like the next hack or maybe the one after that and then it splits. But it's the oddest thing because there's like no discernible progress until all of a sudden everything kind of changes.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I've never chopped wood that thick before. Like that's the thing. It would be like, you know, like a decent sized log or whatever and you just put it on top of again a stump about the size of the one you were actually ch. And so was even satisfying in this little like, you know, 30 second video that Chris sent me. You're just like chopping. I'm just like, what is it doing? And then all of a sudden it's like. And then you just hear this crack and then you sort of see it like. And it's like, oh, that must be so satisfying. But I was also thinking about you the next day because I was getting ready to go outside and do my, my, my annual hedge trimming project which seems like such A huge project. But I was like, wow, Luke must be so sore right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, my back is still not. My back is. Well first also, by the way, I got home late Saturday night and by, I don't know, 10am on Sunday, I was hauling rocks around here. Like I was immediately back on yard duty. So yeah, my lower back has been getting a little bit more action than it probably needs or wants in the last bit. But the other part, and the reason I mentioned the jog was because I was not able to get out of jogging duties on that morning. So I was going into the chopping situation already spent.

[Andrew]

Oh yeah, you should have taken the more.

[Luke Burbank]

I should have. I know, but I'm, you know, I'm a people pleaser, Andrew, you know that. And being around me, I can't stop pleasing people.

[Andrew]

Start pleasing me.

[Luke Burbank]

And so like I, like I. It was this odd thing because it was like I wanted to help out and it was really fun, but also it was pretty challenging. But I also didn't want to look like weak or lazy. So it was odd because it was like I, I was, I was operating under this whole own, like this pressure system that I had developed which was I need to be good at this because I want Chris to think that I'm good at this. I don't want to just like come in and be like, try a couple of hacks and be like, I can't do it, you know. And so anyway, it was. It actually ended up going really well and, and we just had a. A wonderful time out. There was. It was a fun, magical time in the Hudson Valley. I would like to talk to the local antique shops about some of their record selections.

[Andrew]

Can I. Can I interrupt really quickly before you move on because I tell you're transitioning out and there is one thing I was thinking about this wood chopping, that this is going to sound glib or like I'm making a joke and I'm not. I'm being serious. Okay. We used to joke around because I was texting with Chris and I don't know, you know your description of this. I can't tell if you enjoyed it or not, but it looked satisfying. I did enjoy it satisfying and it seems like really good exercising. Exercise. And Chris mentioned in a text to me is like, it's literally one of my favorite things to do is this wood chopping. And I was thinking about you guys doing that, how it's both like really hard work, but it is kind of a form of exercise and entertainment in a way too. That I can really identify with. And then I thought about all the jokes we used to make about George W. Bush clearing brush dude.

[Luke Burbank]

And I was wondering, actual conversation Chris.

[Andrew]

And I had, really, do you understand a little bit more how that could be? Like, if you're in the right environment, the idea of going out and quote, unquote, clearing brush, that's kind of what you were doing. They probably went out with chainsaws and, like, cleared a bunch of stuff, and it was probably very satisfying.

[Luke Burbank]

You know, this is something that Chris does extensively, I think, on his property. And he said to me, unprompted, even though I was thinking about this, I had been thinking about it when I knew we were going to chop wood, which was the, as I would call it, performative brush clearing of George W. Bush in Crawford, Texas. He said, you know, I used to think that was such BS when George W. Bush would be out there, you know, chainsawing brush for the White House media pool to film. He goes, and now I totally get it.

[Andrew]

Yeah. That's so interesting. You guys actually addressed the exact question that I had. Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it would be my favorite thing to do if it had been 75 degrees. That's the thing. It was night. It was. It was 88 degrees and 88% humidity in the Hudson Valley. That was the part for me where it was like this on a fall day. Like, you know, like, it's a. You know, Sunday. The Seahawks are playing on Sunday Night Football.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And there's a crisp fall day, and I'm going to get a bunch of work in before I get to reward myself with watching the football game. That's perfection. This was, for me, the perfection of the moment was tempered by the actual temperature outside, which was another thing, like, where I was like. Because Chris just, like, kept going. And I. It was funny. My. I. My water breaks became more frequent.

[Andrew]

Oh, if I said your water broke, I was like, oh, no. Yeah, you're expecting.

[Luke Burbank]

A lot of things changed when I was in England, Andrew. And that's why we need to get to that part of the story, too. No, but, like, you know, we had some water, and it was like, we were working really hard, and then, like, we went. Both went and got some water, and then we went back to working really hard. And then I went back and got some water in the shade and then worked a little more and then went back to get, like, refill my water. Like, I was really. I was moving pretty slow by the end, but it was. It was super duper fun. And what gave Me great joy was the amount of joy that it obviously gave Chris to do this with one other person because he'd been doing this solo. And it really got to that. That conversation you and I had, I don't know how long ago, a few months ago, about working around our house and our yard and the things that we sort of subcontract out and the things that we don't. Because, you know, there's a. There's a lot that goes on at their property and there's lots of people who are, Whose services are retained to help with stuff like that, you know, whether it's some of the bigger landscaping projects or other things. And yet this is a very, very physical thing that Chris chooses to do because it obviously is very like, it's meditative, it's relaxing, it's. It's invigorating. It's all of those things for him. What it also kind of caused Andrew was my dad, Walter Burbank, to make what I think is the first ever iPhone video he has ever made in his life, at least that I know of where. Because I had must. I must have texted him and my mom that I was at Chris and Kate's house and that we were chopping wood or something. And my dad's response was to send a four minute video of him that he set up the camera. I don't know if he had on a tripod or just put it on something. He hit record and then he walks over and then he is just splitting wood while he smokes his cigar for a good four minutes, way longer than we needed to get the point. But. And then sent it to man.

[Andrew]

Because you were sending him videos of you chopping wood. Now he's sending. I mean, there's men sharing videos of men chopping wood.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. In the words of the Two and a Half Men theme song.

[Andrew]

Men.

[Luke Burbank]

Men. Men. Men. Men. Men. Men.

[Andrew]

That true?

[Luke Burbank]

Men. Men. Men. I think that is all. Are all of the lyrics of that song just the word men.

[Andrew]

You saying that makes me realize I've literally never seen a second of that show.

[Luke Burbank]

I have not seen much of it, but I think. Let me see if I can find.

[Andrew]

You kidding me.

[Luke Burbank]

From the network that canceled Stephen Colbert.

[Andrew]

I cannot. I mean, I. As I said, I've never seen a moment of that show, but I didn't think I could hate it more in concept until you play that for me. I had no idea that that, that was that deal. Okay, listen, I got you back on the chopping wood, but you were about to talk about something about the antique shops, I think, which is the other end of the manly spectrum. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the thing is, I think you're legally.

[Andrew]

If you.

[Luke Burbank]

If you enter the Hudson Valley, you're legally required to do at least some amount of antiquing.

[Andrew]

Now, that speaks to me. I love this.

[Luke Burbank]

It is the. It is deeply ingrained in the culture out there. Same for, like, you know, the parts of, like, New Hampshire that you would probably travel through. You and Veeves and stuff like that. The Northeast, they're big on the antiquing. And I just noted that in the same. Like, there was a crate with some vinyl in it in one of the. The antique shops we went into. The first album was just. I actually took a picture of it because I was like, how could this be? It was. It was. I'm gonna. I want to try to get the exact verbiage right here. It was basically, like, called. Let's see here, the Confederacy. And then it just had a huge Confederate flag on it.

[Andrew]

What?

[Luke Burbank]

And I was like, oh, I wonder what this is all about? And then I just, like, opened the jacket, and it was basically a whole album of the music of the people that basically tried to destroy this country so that they could still have slaves. And it wasn't like. I don't know what I expected it to be, but it was basically a celebration of the proud culture of these folks.

[Andrew]

It was Northeast. That's so nice.

[Luke Burbank]

It was, like, the best way. The best way to understand. It was a real. Some real both side ism. Like, I was reading this, like, letter from whoever the, you know, scholar or sociologist or whatever who had decided to assemble this, like, double album of the music of the Confederacy. And they really, really wrote about that Civil War. Like, you know, who can say whose fault this was? It was real. I mean, it was an old, old album, but it was just written from this perspective of, like, you know, it was literally like, hailing the bra. It really was painting the Confederacy as the plucky underdogs who almost made it work. Literally. It was like, this music is a view into their culture and how they were able to succeed for as long as they did against such long odds. And I was like, thank God their success wasn't complete.

[Andrew]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

So I was like, wow, that's a. That's a. I mean, that's an edgy record to make a long time ago. It's an edgy record to have. I don't think it was a reflection on this story. I think they probably just didn't know it was in the crates. And then I. I flipped through that record, and the very next record, Andrew, was Bill Cosby Live. And I just thought, I will say there are a.

[Andrew]

There are a lot of Bill Cosby records. That is one that you will see. You see a lot of comedy records. You get a lot of Smoker's, bro. You get a lot of Cosby. You get a lot of. Oh, who's the guy that I like a lot? The Bob Newhart. And the thing is, I used to buy those when I would see those. So this is a real thing. Like, I have. And maybe I should admit this. Like, I have some Bill Cosby records that I bought as soon as I knew about the allegations. No, I. That I bought, you know, years and years.

[Luke Burbank]

Keep him with that laser disc of the Jerry Lewis Nazi clown movie.

[Andrew]

Right, right, exactly. Is that what it's officially called now?

[Luke Burbank]

I believe so.

[Andrew]

That's what everybody calls it, like, the White Album. But anyway, I sort of. I mean, I think a lot of people would just be so disgusted. Actually, now I'm thinking, do I still have those? Or maybe I did donate it. I think I still have those Bill Cosby ones. And, yeah, I should probably. But in a certain way, I don't want to donate it. Like. But I also. It feels weird just destroying something.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I know, right?

[Andrew]

And I'm not. This is not a. This is not maybe the best conversation to have as. As Confederate statues are getting repaired and reinstalled in the United States. I mean, it's such a dark time to be.

[Luke Burbank]

Andrew. These. These military base are named for different people with the same last name of the racist confederates.

[Andrew]

So disgusting. Anyway, I'm not trying to defend it. It's just kind of like I just have never taken a moment to really address the fact that I have, I think two, maybe Bill Cosby records. And he had some really famous ones. I mean, he was talking about growing up with his brother or whatever, and it's kind of like I kind of don't know what to do with it. I guess I should just. They burned a bunch of disco records back in the 70s with Steve.

[Luke Burbank]

I believe they drove. Steve doll. They drove over them with a. With a steamroller.

[Andrew]

Maybe I should just do that. But I've never addressed demolition. Anyway, the point that they had a Bill Cosby is kind of like. Yeah, it's like you turn over the earth and you find that stuff, you know?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, no, absolutely. And again, I don't hold these folks responsible for any of this, other than they probably bought a Crate of records for someone and didn't look super careful. There was something about going from the celebration of the music of the Confederacy right to a known sex offender that I was just like, that's a real. It's a real one, two punch.

[Andrew]

It really is. But do you get anything of the antique?

[Luke Burbank]

I didn't, because I didn't want to ship it. Ship it. Although I did end up in. In England, Andrew. I did have to buy an additional. Oh, boy. This is. This is such a. Such a boring place to take this story. But I did have to buy additional luggage because I kept picking little things up in England and realized that I was not gonna be able to fit all of it back in my suitcase. And to be honest, Ms. Perfect, who reads bell hooks on the plane, also had a lot of stuff that I was now trying to help find a place for. So for both of us had kind of had been picking things up along the way. And so what happened was we ended up in Bath, England, which I cannot recommend visiting Bath, England, highly enough. Like, it was not something that was on my radar. Becca had, like, stayed there when she was in high school. Her family had done, like, a house swap with some folks that were in London. So the folks in London came and stayed at their house in Oregon, and they went and stayed at their flat in London and then also their summer home in Bath. And so she was like, I would love to go visit this place again. It is one of the more interesting cities from just a architectural standpoint that I've ever seen in my life. And we were only there for, like, it was the tail end of the trip. Unfortunately, we're only there for, like, a couple of days or like, a day and a half, if that. But what happened was I realized I need to buy some kind of a suitcase or something to bring this extra stuff back. And this is where I get into, like, this is. I feel like, where maybe. I don't know. I don't know how to describe this other than I feel like these are the moments where I understand your brain the most, Andrew, which is that I feel like. And I want to be careful how I say this. I don't want to misdescribe how your brain works. But, like, what ended up happening was I needed some kind of suitcase, but I was. I really didn't want to buy a suitcase that I was never going to use again for this. Like, it was almost like, you don't like having a unitasker on your. On your counter in your kitchen. You don't like, just like I didn't want to. Just because there's a. Their version of TJ Maxx is called TK Maxx.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah. I think we actually talked about that one.

[Luke Burbank]

I think last time I was in England, so there was a TK Maxx by our hotel in Bath. And I was like, well, that'll be the place. They'll have something. But like, all of the luggage in a TJ Maxx is very weird. It's like a weird color or it's got way too much logo or print on it. Because think about how something feel with.

[Andrew]

Like black piping around this.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. And it says like pit bull. It's like it's like the official luggage.

[Andrew]

Of pit bull or since he's Mr. Worldwide.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I mean? It's always there.

[Andrew]

Crazy.

[Luke Burbank]

Because of course, how the stuff ends up at TJ&TK Maxx is it. Someone else tried to sell it and it didn't do great. And that's how it ended up. That's how you end up with like a wide foot set of Pumas or something or whatever. Like the random stuff that's at all those, you know, Ross and TJ Maxx. It's my understanding is it's stuff that was. Maybe it wasn't that they actually literally tried to sell it somewhere else. But it's not something that was flying off the conventional shelves. That's why it's here. That's why it's more affordable. But even so, the cheapest suitcase I could find was like 50 pounds, you know, which is like 60 bucks. And it just. I don't. So I bought this. I found the least aggressive suitcase I could find. That was about the size that we needed. And even that was a little. That was the other thing that was driving me crazy. Even like a roll on, like a rollaboard or whatever was actually slightly more stuff than I need more space than I needed for the stuff we had. Right? And I was like, I don't want to buy a $60 suitcase for this that I'm never gonna use again. And like, I was. So I bought it though. I was like, whatever, this is just life. And then I'm wheeling it around Bath. And then of course, as we're walking around so it's empty, but I'm just carrying it, of course. It's just like bothering me. It's like my brain is just. It's like worrying this issue of this suitcase. I don't like buying this. It's like a oyster trying to make A pearl out of a grain of sand. It's just, like, going over and over. And so, of course, we end up walking by a different store that wasn't a luggage store, per se. I don't even know what they were kind of stationary and other things, but they had some bags, like a canvas bag that zipped the top zipped up. That was, like, kind of a nice color of black. It was kind of an interesting bag. Was also only £20. And, like, I. So I was like, oh, my God. And also, by the way, like, we were, like. Had to go back to the hotel. We were gonna have to go back to the hotel, take a quick shower, get to our dinner. There's, like, stuff going on. And I was like. To Bex, I was like, I'm sorry. We got to go back to TK Maxx. I have to return this suitcase, and I have to buy this other bag. And Beck, at her credit.

[Andrew]

I gotta say this. You say that like, I think I understand what you mean when you say, it's kind of like my brain, like, because I get kind of obsessed about things. I don't like stuff. But honestly, 60 bucks. I'm kind of shocked by this. And again, I'm not trying to sound like somebody who just sets fire to money. I mean, I do. I just don't want to sound like that person. But for me, it's like, you can't.

[Luke Burbank]

Hot war with your neighbor.

[Andrew]

You liter if you want to. Oh, yeah, maybe we save that for tomorrow. But, yeah, there's things going on in the neighborhood, but I just sort of feel like you can't find. You can't get pizza delivered for under 60 bucks these days. I am actually much. When it comes to stuff, I'm much more like, I blew 60 bucks on this. Especially on vacation. You're just kind of like, money isn't real, which is a terrible thing to admit. And I think I would have just been like, I'll just leave this. And I don't think Genevieve would let me do that. But I would be. If I was traveling by myself, I'd be like, shouldn't have spent 60 bucks on this. But you know what? Also spend 60 bucks on pull tabs. Like, just move on.

[Luke Burbank]

And listen. That's part of why this behavior for me is so hard to explain, because I agree with you. A lot of things cost $60 on a vacation. It just is what it is. Why is this the $60 that's driving me crazy? It wasn't the amount. It was something about buying this, knowing I would never use it again. It just was making me irrationally obsessed and irrationally uncomfortable as I'm walking around this beautiful town of Bath, England, carrying this thing from TK Maxx. And so I buy the other bag, I take this thing back. I'd already had a run in at Unique Glow in London about trying to return a belt I bought that was too small, which even though I had the receipt, because I had removed the tag from the belt, they would not.

[Andrew]

Accept it in the store. You didn't do that thing where you wrap it around you just to make sure it fits.

[Luke Burbank]

I did, I did wrap it around me. I didn't buckle it. Here's the thing, it did fit, but it was not. The problem with the belt was I could buckle the belt, but it would have been on like the last two or three holes so that it just looked like the belt was at its. You know what I'm talking about. Like, if I'm going to wear a belt, I would like to be able to comfortably loop the excess of the belt through the other belt loop loop. I would not like it to be the case that it's a nubbin of the rest of the belt. But the thing is, that was a large size belt at Uniqlo in London by where Bean and Donna live because we went to Uniqlo after we left their house. But the extra large belt was way too big, right? So I had the. Also, I don't, I mean, whatever, not getting into body stuff, but I don't think of myself at this point who wear as being a person who wears an extra large belt. You know, my waist was like a 33 or something. So I bought it because I did wrap it casually wrapped it around my waist, it seemed like it was fine. And then when I got to the hotel and I was going to like or to the Airbnb and I was going to wear it out that night. I was like, I don't like that this thing is at the very edge of what it can do. But I was like, no problem, I have the receipt. And so on our way out of London in the rental car, I mapped where a Uniqlo was to take this belt back. And I walked in there and I had again, I take stuff back all the time to like Home Depot. I don't even have the receipt. They just go like, would you have the card you bought it with? I go, yeah, they scan it good to go. That's not how they do at Unique CLO in London. And I was it made Me not just mad at the store. It made me mad at the nation. It made me mad at the entire country. It felt like a personal affront to me that in this place, having the receipt and the belt, the belt you bought yesterday that you have clearly not worn, that I couldn't even get store credit. It made me so mad, Andrew, that I bought five dress shirts on the way out and I still have the belt. So take that unique look. Anyway, I was worried that something between when I bought this suitcase at TK Maxx and when I got this other bag, this kind of rucksack sort of thing, and then I was gonna bring the suitcase back to TK Maxx because of course, I didn't wait to buy the bag. I bought it. Now I got two things, and I'm taking the first one back to TK Maxx. And I was like, I have a feeling that they're gonna be like, sorry, you cannot return this for X, Y and Z reason. But fortunately, they did accept the return. And I got this other bag. And I just kept telling Becca, I go, I can't explain to you how happy this bag makes me, because first.

[Andrew]

Of all, it wasn't as, like, kind of chintzy or weird. You liked the style of it more?

[Luke Burbank]

I liked the style. It's actually very functional. I can see myself using it again. It's already, like, I took the stuff out when I got home, and it's now folded up and it's on a special shelf so that if I need. Because it's bigger than just like a Trader Joe's bag or something or like a New Yorker tote bag, it's a little bigger than your standard tote bag and it zips on top. But, like, I was like, the difference between having this POS suitcase from TK Maxx that I was going to have to throw out or give away, versus this kind of nice kind of distressed black cloth bag that I'm actually excited to use again, the difference in my level of, like, now we've.

[Andrew]

Pleasure. Yeah, now we've nailed it. This is about you. This is about you not wanting to buy a cheapo extension cord because of how it was going to make you feel. This is. Yeah, this is. This is. Now we've gotten to it. It wasn't the 60 bucks. It was about, like, what you think this ill designed TK Max thing sort of said about you.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, or maybe feel made me feel. It wasn't that I would be embarrassed to be in the airport with it because it was just a Standard rolling suitcase. I mean, it was a couple things. One, it would not match my set of things, so there was no integrating it into my. Into my suitcase life, because I like to be consistent about these things. And then also it was just the fact that, again, I can't quite explain it other than to say it wasn't that I was like. Because I would have just given it to my parents, who would have been kind of stoked, probably, or taken it to Goodwill or something. But the difference between that, that experience and the experience of, like, solving the problem with a bag that I actually like and will use again, it was like I was like on cloud nine for the rest of the trip. And I just kept saying to Becca, I just can't say this enough. This bag makes me so happy. And then as we were flying home and. And we're like, you know, also, I felt really good about how I solved the problem. So the problem was we had extra junk, too much extra stuff. Things that we'd picked up at the, like, Tate Modern gift shop. Boy, exit through the gift shop, man. The Tate Modern actually went to the Tate Britain, but I think they have the same gift shop. You want to talk about a gift shop that has me completely and totally locked in? It'd be like if Dwell magazine had a gift shop just, like, everything that I like aesthetically. But so I had to reorganize the packing. I had to take, like, okay, my Dopp kit. And certain things that I wanted to make sure did not get lost by the airline. Those things were repacked into this new bag. And then things that I didn't care if the airline lost as much went into the things that were being checked. It was kind of one of those, like, the riddle of, like, you're trying to cross the river in the boat and you have, like, a fox and a chicken and a thing of grain. I was, like, having to do this, like, high level cogitation about where all the stuff was gonna go, but it worked. And then as we're walking through the airport and I have my black bag that I like, and it's got the stuff I need, and I'm putting it up in the overhead, and it's like, everything's working. I was just like. It just felt like I had solved some very long standing and hard to solve equation, and I had come up with a very elegant solution for the equation.

[Andrew]

And you can reuse this bag. In fact, this is a. This is a dangerous game to play. But do we ever get any resolution on that? Luggage you were trying to return.

[Luke Burbank]

It's on my list today, Andrew. It has arrived.

[Andrew]

So you did not travel with it.

[Luke Burbank]

So you were trying to get this.

[Andrew]

Luggage for this trip?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I just used my old, now absolutely beat to hell luggage, which didn't get less beat to hell traveling to Europe again. But I do know that the Monos company has allegedly received. I got a notice from them that they had received the luggage and they were going to be inspecting it to decide if they were going to give me my money back, which is a joke because none of it even came out of the box. But I need to get on my. Look at my credit card statement and figure out if they have, in fact sent the money back. Because I could see this being the next phase of my anger with them is that they're going to take their sweet, sweet time with. With refunding it. Because now the problem is they now have the stuff again. Yeah, I don't have any leverage on them at this point.

[Andrew]

And, yeah, it would be. So, well, let's save this anger for another day or see if we need this anger. But. But if they end up saying, oh, yeah, this is not in good condition, then it's like, well, then what did you send me? Because it never came out of the box. You know what I mean? It would be like.

[Luke Burbank]

And it seems proving that to them would be exceedingly difficult.

[Andrew]

Right. But. But just imagine the irony of them saying, we can't accept this because it's in terrible shape. Or like, well, this is what you sent me, and I literally never took it out of the box. Why would you send me something that you can't even return if it's in the shape that you sent it? That would be very aggravating. But like I say, let's save that. Let's. That's anger deferred because we don't know how this will end up.

[Luke Burbank]

But not anger denied, because let me tell you, if these guys don't give me my money back, I'm going to be, as you would say, rip. Okay. Other quick things from this trip. And then I do. I really do want to hear what's going on with this neighbor situation. I don't think we should punt it. See, I use terms like punter now. Oh. Because I was in England.

[Andrew]

That's an English thing. I literally always thought it. I literally just thought it meant, like, punting, like in football. Like, you just.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it does. It's got like 8 million meanings. It would sound. Because punters are the way that sometimes gamblers are described in England. And then also I didn't know until we were going into the botanic garden in Oxford, England, which is I guess Lewis Carroll, who wrote, you know, Alice in Wonderland or Alice through Looking Glass or whatever it was called. I guess he was, you know, a professor at Oxford. And I had said to the woman at the where we were buying our tickets for this botanic garden, I said, oh yeah, we're going to rent a boat. Later she kept saying, oh, you have to punt when you're here, it's so beautiful. And Lewis Carroll used to have his own punter and he used to punt up and down the river with all these young ladies. So I took that to mean it also can mean a certain kind of boat travel.

[Andrew]

And got a lot of bunch of people kept calling you a right punt.

[Luke Burbank]

Uh huh. I think that's what they were saying.

[Andrew]

I think that's what they were probably saying.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what I choose to believe they were saying.

[Andrew]

All up and down the street people.

[Luke Burbank]

Kept shouting at you, yes, I went to Stonehenge. Which is, how do I put this? I mean it is insane, insane that these people before, like, you know, bc, like before Christ, thousands of years bc were like hauling these stones and setting up what they think. By the way, the latest theory on the case is that it was multiple different groups of people who were kind of unrelated. It wasn't like one group of, of people or Druids or whatever said let's do this. It was kind of like one group of people were kind of using it as their something or other. They dug these tunnels or they dug these trenches and it didn't have any stones, but they had made this circular thing or whatever and then they like die out. And then a different group of people come along and they're like, oh, this is cool. And they sort of like do their thing with it. And then like, I don't know if it was a third wave or whatever, but they put in some of the rocks and then. So it's, it's crazy that anybody was able to do this. That being said, considering that it was a very long, very hot walk from where you park now, you could have gotten on a bus, but that was. There was a really long line to buy tickets for the bus and we didn't want to do that, so we just walked. But like, I have to say, when I actually was standing very near Stonehenge, not as near as I would have been had I bought tickets. So if you bought the tickets, which were like, I don't know 35 pounds. You could, A, take the bus and then B, you could stand a little closer to Stonehenge. If you didn't buy the tickets. Like, we didn't buy the tickets. You could walk there and you had to stand on this. On one side of this fence. That was kind of like. That's where the pores are.

[Andrew]

How would you get. If you bought the ticket? Like, not. You can't touch it, I assume. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

You can't touch it. You could get, the woman said, five meters from them, but I don't know what that means.

[Andrew]

Right.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm serious. Like, you could get within. It looked like if you walk down this path, you could get within, like, 30ft of them. But also there was this wider area where we were. We were just standing right next to the walkway where most people were taking most of their photos. So I felt like it was a good decision. We were not. It wasn't. Like, where we were was five football fields away from this thing. And the people who paid money were, like, able to caress the stones of Stonehenge.

[Andrew]

It was like they were 16ft away. Five meters.

[Luke Burbank]

That's what five meters is.

[Andrew]

Okay. Yeah. Just to give you a sense.

[Luke Burbank]

So, like, I felt like that was actually a good call by us. It wasn't. I didn't. I didn't perceive the people who had paid the. The admission. They also, if they. If they had bought the tickets that day, they had waited in an insanely long line to buy those tickets, which was really ultimately what put us. We waited in that line for, like, 15, 20 minutes and then just hit eject. But anyway, Stonehenge was. Was cool. But I will tell you that much, like in Spinal Tap, when they have a Stonehenge monument that is in danger of being trod upon by some of the dancers on the stage, it was not as big as I was expecting it to be, if you know what I mean. Like, it kind of looks like something that an earlier version of human man had to drag 20 miles, which I think is the story. The stone, they think is from about 20 miles away. That's where it was, like, cut or whatever. It kind of looks like something that people, I don't know how many thousand years ago would have been now, 10,000 years ago, probably had to drag 20 miles and then hoist up on a thing. Like, it's pretty big, but it's not. Like, it's not insane by modern standards.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And also, I mean, I saw. It's so weird, like, these ancient. These ancient civilizations were dragging them on Blue ski now. But I saw somebody sort of dragging Stonehenge recently, kind of just being like, I don't know, like. Like, you compare this to the pyramids. Like, the pyramids, at least, first of all, just, like, so much more intricate and so much, you know, and so much more impressive in so many ways, but also served a purpose that there was, like, oh, well, you know, like, it was for burial and, you know, religious tie in. But it sort of seems like Stonehenge.

[Luke Burbank]

And for white people to plunder.

[Andrew]

White people to plunder.

[Luke Burbank]

Which, by the way, connects to Downton Abbey. More on that in a moment.

[Andrew]

Okay. But anyway. And then Stonehenge is just kind of like a hobby, I guess.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's the thing. There was no. Based on everything I was reading at and around the Stonehenge, like, intake center, et cetera, and on the Internet, as we're just waiting around, they think it's just basically ceremonial. They think it was part of ceremony and maybe a burial place. Although I don't know if they've necessarily found a lot of remains or not, or maybe they don't want to disturb those remains. And they said maybe something related to the sun. Although if it was just strictly a sundial, that would be something you could figure out in one afternoon, right?

[Andrew]

Yeah, right, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, even I could figure that out. I'd be like, well, what's the sun doing? What's the Stonehenge doing? So it's. Yeah, they don't know. They're just kind of guessing at.

[Andrew]

There was some Graham.

[Luke Burbank]

It was all for the Graham.

[Andrew]

Exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of the plundering of sort of more ancient civilizations, we did go visit Downton Abbey, Highclere Castle, which was actually pretty fun. But the funny part, the interesting part about the actual place where they filmed at Downton Abbey is, of course, it's not called Downton Abbey, it's called Highclere Castle because it's been in the family of the Carnavarn Lord and Lady Carnarvarn family for, like, I don't know, hundreds of years. This particular, like, estate, this castle, and the Carnarvarns are. I don't know exactly how they got their money or their title or. I'm still very unclear on how that all works. But what I can tell you is the Fiona, Lady Fiona Carnavarn, who's the eighth Lady Carnivarn, I believe, is very into kind of trying to be a thing at Downton Abbey, at High Clare Castle, when you go to try to buy your tickets to get into the Thing where they filmed out in Abbey, there's just a lot of the woman who is married into the family that owns the house. Like, there's a lot of links to her podcast and her books and a lot of photos of her with her horses standing in front of the real life location of Downton Abbey. And when you buy your ticket to go see Downton Abbey, they also ask you if you want to buy a ticket to the basement of Downton Abbey, where all of the stories of like this family plundering King Tut's tomb are like. What seems clear to me is that Lady Carnivarn is obviously very excited at the notoriety of this castle that her family now owns or owns and loves the Downton Abbey notoriety and, but also very much wants to also use it as a pivot to talk about her podcast. And also her husband, I believe it's technically her ex husband. I think they're divorced, but I don't know if they're co parenting or what the story is. But she really, she's written all these books. One of them is about basically how like her husband's grandfather doesn't get enough credit for looting King Tut's tomb. You exit through the basement of Downton Abbey. And it's funny a couple of things because none of the, like servant stuff, none of the, like Mrs. Bates and Daisy stuff from the basement, you know, is actually filmed at Highclere Castle. That was all filmed on a soundstage somewhere. So when you go down to the basement of this place, there's just like an apologetic docent who's explaining to you that you won't be seeing any of the stuff from the servants. They just have a very modern kitchen. Which what they've done is they've like taken a photo still from the shoot of the kitchen that's in Downton Abbey and then blown it up. And then it's just sitting in front of the modern kitchen. And then again, a docent who has to apologize to you that you don't get to see the kitchen stuff down there. You just get to see a photo of it.

[Andrew]

And you see a modern. But you do see a nice modern kitchen that you're kind of like, oh, I could use this.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's like a staff kitchen. It's almost like a commissary. You know what I mean? It's not like a kitchen you'd have in your house. It's like a working restaurant kitchen because like probably when there are events there, they have to make lots of food. But it was just funny because the person was just like. The person was just saying their stock response to everyone who came through. She's like, ooh, we're going downstairs now. It's time to see all the downstairs part of this. Upstairs, downstairs. And it's like, sorry, we don't have that. But you do. As you're walking through to exit the castle, you are seeing these photos of like, I don't know how far back. Again, I'm gonna say this is the grandfather of the current dude. Maybe it's the great grandfather. But like you see photos of him and his like, whatever, you know, he was very into Egyptology, which is a nice way to put we're going over there and stealing their shit. But then she's got this book that's basically about like so and so. Everyone's heard of so and so who discovered King Tut's tube, but have you ever heard of the seventh Lord Carnivarn? And then there's a quote. So what I intuit, what I deduced from this was that there's a guy, there's a British dude who's credited with quote unquote, finding King Tut's tomb.

[Andrew]

Can I guess what the quote is? It's the quote. It's mine. Now.

[Luke Burbank]

My sense is there's a dude who's a British dude who's credited with like discovering King Tut's tomb. But actually Lady Carnarvarn, the latest one, would like to really point out that her husband's great granddad was very helpful in this process of white people looting this thing and is not getting his due.

[Andrew]

Yeah, what were we all saying 3 years ago? Strange flex.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, weird flex, but okay, bro. The other thing about, the other thing about the tour of. And by the way, I loved doing the tour, like, because I really loved Downton Abbey. And it's really friggin fun to walk through those doors and to see all of this stuff that you do recognize from the show. But like, it's also funny to walk through because again, it's like a room where, you know, it's a library where like, you know, Lord Grantham or whatever was that. That was his last name, right?

[Andrew]

I think so. Man, I watched like the first season and a half or something of that.

[Luke Burbank]

Or like Hugh Beaumont would be sitting in like whatever, talking to his family or something. But then there's just like this framed photo of the current Lady Carnivarn with like Barbara bush and George H.W. bush. He's in like a neck brace, he looks Minimally aware of his circumstances. Like, is this Downton Abbey Canon or not Lady Carnivarn, or is this you flexing? There's, like, lots of pictures of her with kind of famous people where it's very clearly a picture where, like, there was a step and Repeat. You know, it was like, okay, let's take this picture. And I. I think what she was trying to do is assert the worldliness and importance of her carnivore family. But it's like, my friend, we're just here to stand in the room where we found out. And by the way, this was a real thing. There was this one room you go through, and it's like, this is where this room was where Dame Judi Dench liked to relax between filming shoots, which, you know, at her age, I'm. I'm not surprised that she wanted some downtime. So we were in a room that. Its notoriety was not that it was in the show, but it was where Dame Judi Dench liked to relax when she wasn't doing her scenes.

[Andrew]

Was there a photo of her in. Of Lady Carnivarn and Russell Wilson at.

[Luke Burbank]

One of his multiple events at a Nano Bubble rollout?

[Andrew]

Yeah, it was. What was the event that you were on the step and repeat with Russell Wilson?

[Luke Burbank]

I believe it was an Alaska Airlines.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Didn't you mumble something like, let's ride, or it wouldn't have been let's ride then, Right? Didn't you mumble?

[Luke Burbank]

No, I did something else that I was psyching myself up for, and now I can't even remember. It was like it was something to try to make the squad laugh.

[Andrew]

Oh, it was something about Mr. Unlimited, I think.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it was a Mr. Unlimited reference to try get him to laugh. And I can't. I can't even remember his response. I do still have that dangerous pin, which I have on my. The apron that I wear when I'm in the kitchen or when I'm barbecuing or making a pizza now. And I do freaking love this pin that says dangerous, because I got that at that event. But anyway, yeah, did the Downton Abbey tour, which, again, was actually fun, and I would recommend it. You can probably pass on the Egyptology section of the thing. It was just kind of funny being to watch what I felt was. And I read into stuff way too much. But basically to look at what I thought was probably the internal tension of being Lady Carnivoren, which is your house is famous because some location scouts wanted to film some of the exteriors and interiors of this show that got really big. But you don't want that to be the full story of this house and of your life. So you're really trying to bring people in with the Downton but then pivot quickly to your. She's like listed lists herself on her website as like a best. Like the best selling author of many books and stuff. It just feels. It feels a little, maybe a little thirsty, but. Oh, we also, as I mentioned, went and saw our friend Bean Baxter of the cup of Tea and a Chat Podcast, and his wonderful wife Donna. And we hung out in their wonderful home in London, which is historic and very cool. Although they are moving soon. I will say I was a little. I don't know if he's gonna hear this or not.

[Andrew]

He will.

[Luke Burbank]

I was a. I was, I was, I was a little sad. Becca and I tuned in to the cup of Tea in a chat that followed our hang. And you know, they have a whole section of the show. They have a whole dedicated segment that's basically about personal sort of minutia personality, which I thought would have been a. Which would have been a perfect place to talk about Luke. And Becca came over and we had a lovely time with him. Or you didn't. I don't care. It's just an honor to be mentioned.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And we tuned in on the, like, the, like, I don't know what. It was the Monday after, whenever the show dropped and Ali, his wonderful co host, was going on about, you know, like her power going out and talking about the minutiae of her life and everything, and then got to Bean and I was like, okay, here we go. And then he was like, I don't have any minutiae, really. So let's go back to the.

[Andrew]

I don't have any. Now that's interesting because I don't think I've ever heard that before. I'm a listener of that show. I've never heard him just, well, punt on that. And he'd like, wow, he's been a real puncher, nagging you. I guarantee you he'll hear this. It's funny, though. It's really funny.

[Luke Burbank]

What gives?

[Andrew]

It's really funny.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't rate enough to get into your minutia.

[Andrew]

It's funny to hear that you did what a lot of people in our life will do after hanging out with us. Just like I don't usually listen to your podcast, but I do listen the day after we hung out just in case you, like, talk shit about me or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, no, you know what I thought, hey, I really do like the show. I think it's a really good show and they're great being in Ally. And I also, I thought, well, first of all, yes, I don't want to play it off. Like, I wasn't curious. Truthfully, I thought it would be kind of a kick for Becca because, like, you know, and this is going to sound incredibly, I don't know, pompous of me, but I really and truly at this. Well, let me put it this way, Andrew. I have not fully read Harriet's piece in the paper from Friendship, Wisconsin, about us, even though I am part of it, was that the print was very small and I didn't have my reading glasses. True story.

[Andrew]

Did I say this to you or Sklaroff? And, you know, God bless. And I don't. I don't know if Harriet is still listening to the podcast, but I would say if you're into accuracy, the article that was written in the Adams Friendship Courier is not necessarily for you, but.

[Luke Burbank]

You will also, if you know our story, you may know the story better than Harriet did at certain parts. And you can just fill in some details. Like, we didn't hitchhike from Seattle to Mississippi. We hitchhiked from the Twin Cities down. Or really technically Denver, Iowa, I believe down. But like, little things like that. It's not the end of the world.

[Andrew]

Well, the last line is that is a TBTL is a part of American public media.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, that one. That one does not pass the New Yorker fact checking.

[Andrew]

By the way, I assume that you are not up on your TBTL newsletter reading because you're probably saving them for, like, hot times tonight or something, but. So I guess this will be breaking news to you. Although it's not breaking news to newsletter subscribers. Should I pause here? Are you going to play?

[Luke Burbank]

And I do. The beauty of me being backing news.

[Andrew]

The TBTL billboard is a part of history now. It is no longer standing. Did you rest in power? Oh, maybe I texted you that.

[Luke Burbank]

No, I saw. I think I. No, no, I read that. I. I read that newsletter.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Harriet reached out. Harriet's been staying in touch and said that she drove, definitely. And she sent a photo of her under the billboard one week. And then the. A couple of days later, she was like, well, I was driving home and it's gone. I said, oh, I don't want to make you take another trip, but I'd be interested to know what it's replaced by. And she said, some guys claiming to help you with your Medicare. That's what we've been replaced by.

[Luke Burbank]

Huh? Not another truck ad.

[Andrew]

I don't think it was another truck.

[Luke Burbank]

Separate truck ad.

[Andrew]

I actually, my. I like to think, and I know this is probably not rooted in reality, but I like to think that it's another podcast spoofing. And I'll help you with your Medicare billboard. Wow, that would be, that would be great. What if we really start a trend with that particular billboard?

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that would be, that would be amazing. That just becomes the dedicated, ineffective podcast advertisement space. That particular location. All that is to say, Andrew, I don't want to sound, I don't want to sound like I'm too cool for school, but really and truly, like, because, because of whatever. Just because of the reality of like our job, life and things. I, you know, we, we are mentioned in various places occasionally and I am not a person who necessarily always runs out to hear that. Like I don't always listen in if I'm on something or whatever. But I did think it would be a kick for Becca because that's not the, that's not her normal life. And so the fact that we went over there, we had this incredible coconut rum cake that Donna made. It was just a, it was just a wonderful, beautiful time. Which if you know Bean also, it was great because it was very managed. It was like, I think that they're saying, which I love this, I'm gonna steal this. And you might even wanna use it when there's a get together at your house, Andrew, although you're not really this way. I know that you tend to like to have Andrew times. You're not also someone who would ever kind of like hustle people out of your house. But I think that Donna and Bean had this joke that it's like carriages at nine.

[Andrew]

Uh huh.

[Luke Burbank]

So like you invite people over. But I guess this is probably like a Britishism from back in the day. Like, like, you know, Bean and Donna Baxter request your presence on Tuesday this 4th of August appetizers and canape served at 6. Carriages at 9, meaning that's when you're leaving. And that's Bean's whole philosophy is carriages at nine. Which is great, actually. It's nice. It means that you hang out, but it's defined exactly. We're gonna have a nice hangout, we're gonna. And then it's going to be time to. For Luke to go buy a belt at Unique Glow that he can't return. Which is literally exactly what happened. So all that was to say it was all kind of a little, I Was low key, excited on Monday, tuned in. I was like, we. We're. We're minutia. We qualify as personal minutiae. And then. And then. And then he literally said, I have. I don't have anything to share.

[Andrew]

That is real. That is the thing. If he just happened to want to talk about something else that had happened in his life, I'd be like, yeah, no, it is what it is. But I love that. Still would have heard. He's like, I just got nothing. I just have nothing.

[Luke Burbank]

Nothing interesting or something memorable has happened to me in the intervening. Whatever. It would be 54 hours or something.

[Andrew]

Well, once again, I will say I know, and we're teasing a little bit here, because who knows what's going on? It may be. And again, Bean is somebody who's always got a, you know, kind of a radio clock going in his head. And so maybe for the show, he really wanted to get to something else on that particular podcast. I didn't hear that one, but I know that he was tickled pink to see you because as you took a tour, as you took this world tour, I don't know if you know this, but Bean, I don't think he was copying you on it. He was sending me photos of you guys on our WhatsApp chat or whatever. So, like, he was looping me and he was like, they were thrilled to see you guys. And he was, like, so excited to see you. It was such a great photo.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, absolutely. I just, you know, sad I didn't make the podcast. It's all well and good that he was keeping you posted. How about telling the teabaggers?

[Andrew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

About your friend Luke coming over. Maybe this. Maybe this now will work its way back into the show. Maybe this. 20 minutes of me whinging about it. That's another. I feel like I didn't use, you know, the thing that I really. It's such an affectation. Well, first of all, a couple times Becca said, you know, that you're unironically saying brilliant to people over here. And I was like, I know. I do love saying brilliant. It is, like, such a fun thing. The other thing I wish we would use over here more is just loads for, like, we were having loads of fun. Oh, I like that.

[Andrew]

I just had, like, tons too much. I think loads is better.

[Luke Burbank]

Anytime you were gonna say tons. If you substituted loads for tons, I.

[Andrew]

Like that a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

It just sounds. I don't know, it just sounds more. More fun to me. Or more whatever. Like, oh, yeah, we were just having we were having loads of laughs. Like, I just like that word a lot. There was a lot of stuff, you know, that people were saying over there that I thought, oh, I like that. You know, again, it's such. Such an affect. I now I do. I have been. I have been saying cheers for a long time over here, and I'm talking about stateside because it kind of just fits into a bunch of different. What it. Basically, for me. What the. What Saying cheers to someone, it's a way of saying goodbye. It's a way of saying good luck. It's a way of saying. It's like. It has a bunch of different meanings, all of which are just kind of general, like, all right, cheers. All right. Hey, thanks. All right, well, good, you know, good luck with that. Cheers. Like, it's probably an affectation. I was saying it before I'd ever even been to England, but I was also saying that a lot over there.

[Andrew]

Probably cheers are right. I don't think I've ever heard you say cheers. And we talk a lot.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. I think I'd be too embarrassed to say it to you. I think I probably have some subconscious limiter on that.

[Andrew]

But you do say. You do feel like you say it out loud?

[Luke Burbank]

I feel like I do say it out loud. But you know what? I think I feel like it's the kind of thing I would say out loud to somebody I don't know, because I feel like they don't know that I'm not a person who says cheers. Does that make sense?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm not conscious of. Of affecting it. I'm not conscious of, like, it's. It's not so conscious that I'm like. I'm about to say cheers. Don't be weird about it. But it must be subconsciously something that I know doesn't totally fit with my normal life, because I don't think I would say it to you, but I would say it to a total stranger, because I feel like they don't know that I'm a person who doesn't say cheers.

[Andrew]

No, I can say. Yeah, no, I mean, I think that when I am. I'm in certain situations, I might talk a little bit differently as well. I'm not talking about, like, code switching here necessarily, or, like trying to claim that but. Or what's the word I'm looking for when you appropriate something. I'm not trying to say that, but, you know, if you're buying a six pack at a 7 11, you might talk differently to the person behind the Counter than you would, you know, when you and I are chatting. Because actually, in that case, I really like to talk down to people. Like service. No, I know you and I are the same way. In that way, I believe we just really like to talk down to people.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely.

[Andrew]

Thank you, baby.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, Andrew, they say discretion is the better part of valor. And during the break, the very brief break that the listeners didn't even hear, you exercised a rare amount of discretion on this show. Mentioning to me that we probably can't get into the story of why you're in a hot war with your neighbor. But I have just to tell the listeners, based on what you mentioned briefly before the show, this shit is shocking. Yeah, shocking.

[Andrew]

Let me just. I'll give the listeners the same little tease that I gave you, which is I was literally on my porch last night yelling at my neighbor who was in the middle of the street and telling him, nice job, asshole. And those were the last words we spoke. I will tell you everything that led up to this moment.

[Luke Burbank]

Everything.

[Andrew]

And that's why I don't want to. That's why I don't want. And by the way, I want to be very clear here. These are not my next door neighbors. We love our next door neighbor. We have one set of next door neighbors, and they're wonderful folks. This is somebody who lives across the street.

[Luke Burbank]

There's one set of next door neighbors. And that's when they carried you.

[Andrew]

That's right. But this is a. This is a fella who I've mentioned sort of obliquely before, who lives kind of across the street from us. And I will tell you everything. This is not just a story that we can jam into the end of a show. Unfortunately, there's going to be some setup.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. I am dying to know what is going on with this. And I also love the fact that I don't have to find any topics between today and tomorrow. This is the whole show. Andrew on his porch yelling nice job, asshole to his neighbor.

[Andrew]

Whatever it is, we do need to talk about Ms. Now as well. Probably.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew]

On tomorrow's show.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, I thought that was your new housekeeper.

[Andrew]

No, it's the new name of msnbc.

[Luke Burbank]

I. Actually, we could talk. Well, I don't know if we'll have time for it tomorrow, maybe Wednesday. But I have thoughts and I don't, honestly. Well, anyway, let's talk about that after we talk about you and your after. Andrew. This music could only mean one thing. After we thank you. Some donors. I mean, the Thawne is just barely in the rear view mirror. And that means it is time once again, to thank some of the folks who are making TBTL possible. Excuse me. I'm having a little. I don't even know what's coming back on me here. It was this lime lacroix that I was shotgunning. We want to thank Allison Wall in Shoreline, Washington.

[Andrew]

Oh, that's right here. That's. That's. I'm so close to shoreline right now, I can practically.

[Luke Burbank]

Absolutely, absolutely, yes. I can practically smell the shrimp.

[Andrew]

All right.

[Luke Burbank]

Discarded kind of casually.

[Andrew]

Do you know I have a shrimp situation right now, too? This is a shorty. I'll give you this one. I bought some shrimp the other day just to eat as like, sort of like cocktail shrimp or whatever for me and Viv's. And we mostly. But I am. I get weird with fish. Like, the second anything starts to even, and the second I think a piece of fish or anything kind of seafood related is no longer super fresh, then I want to oust it. And so I've got maybe, I don't know, four or five shrimp in the fridge right now, and I'm ready to compost them. I think Genevieve would still eat them. I'm just going to compost them. If she asks, I'll say I ate them. But the thing is, because I was doing all this yard work this weekend, my yard waste bin where you can put compost like that is almost overflowing. There's no room at all in the inn. I can't put it in my loamy kitchen composter because that. I put some.

[Luke Burbank]

Forgot you had that.

[Andrew]

Loamy I still use, and I like it, but I accidentally put some cooked rice in there, and I don't think you can do that. And so now I've got this glue situation. I basically made glue in that thing, and so it's not working right now. I'm trying to fix it and try to dig that out. Don't put cooked rice in your lomi, everybody. And so I've got nothing to do with this shrimp again. I need to put on my Baltimore Orioles cap and drive over the shoreline, go undercover again, dump it, because I. I have there. And then the only other compost option is we have, like, an actual tumbler compost thing. But if I put. I'm not going to put rotting shrimp in, like, our garden composter. I do not know what to do with these things. And there's only about five shrimp. I. Oh. Anyway, Don the.

[Luke Burbank]

You know who might know what to do? Sarah Connors in Lancaster Pennsylvania.

[Andrew]

Maybe I could send it to Sarah.

[Luke Burbank]

We're also thanking her today. And then look at this. Never. I don't know if I've ever seen this before. Andrew. This is why you play the game, by the way. Sarah Connors in Lancaster, Pennsylvania, and then Connor Wells is in Vancouver, Washington.

[Andrew]

Sarah Connors to Connor.

[Luke Burbank]

Sarah Connors to Connor. And then Wells Devore is in Lake Taps. That's what just does the rest of the list. The first name of everyone is the last name of the person before them. That's not true. It's Greg Devore.

[Andrew]

Greg Devore, Lake Taps.

[Luke Burbank]

Who's over there in Lake Taps? Thanks, Greg. Jason Clarendon is in Tacoma, Washington, and then Nicole Thompson is in Carmel, Indiana. Nicole, thank you for the pronouncer.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I love that. That's great. I think we have a little pronouncer part of the form now. And you know, you can.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't say. Don't say Carmel. Like you would say, which is the. Like, where Clint Eastwood lives is in Carmel.

[Andrew]

Oh, really?

[Luke Burbank]

How sad for everybody in Carmel, California. That that's the way that I remember that place is that it's where Clint Eastwood is.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that kind of rings a vague bell, but yeah. The full note is from here we pronounce it Carmel.

[Luke Burbank]

That's right. So thank you so much to all of our donors for making TBTL possible today. We could not do this without you. We'll, of course, be thanking donors throughout the rest. Pretty much the rest of the year, whether it's our daily donors, our dazzling donors, the whole thing. So we are. We're back into that mode.

[Andrew]

We are. And, you know, we should sort of say that because I got a voicemail from somebody who was kinda like, hey, we didn't kind of. We never really talked about how the drive went. Or maybe we did, I don't know. But I just want to thank everybody once again. It was a really great tbt. I called it a driveway. We don't call them drives, do we? That was a little public radio coming out of me. Oh, I got a little public radio coming out of me.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, you got to plug that leak suture.

[Andrew]

But no, it was a really, really successful drive. So thanks again to everybody who donated and thanks to our anonymous donor who encouraged either lapsed donors or new donors to donate with this very, very generous matching grant that we got. It was really, really great. And again, we did speak, of course, about what a wonderful, special time it was to be there in friendship and to connect with the listeners in that way.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, Huge thanks to everyone. And in particular, yeah, to our anonymous donor. You know who you are. Thank you. That was incredibly generous and helpful. And to the person who thought we were doing shorter shows the last two weeks because we didn't raise enough during the thaw. Those are unrelated, I promise. We just were taking a little break on the subject of that we don't have to unpack this whole thing because I know you were like, Andrew, you were like, we don't need to get into it on the show. I know that there were some people that were like playing the game of kind of trying to figure out, suss out what was going on. We were like listening to a lot of voicemails the last couple of weeks. In years past, what we've done is we've really kind of hyped up the fact that we were going to take a little break. And by the way, I'm taking more of a break than you are because, Andrew, you're still posting the shows, you're still doing everything related to your job. So I should say I am taking a little break. And we sort of hyped that in.

[Andrew]

The break next March, by the way. I'll send you the dates. And I just booked a Hawaii vacation in March. That's plenty of time to plan for that though. So everybody, if some of the shows are a little bit shorter in mid March of 2026, you know, why Hawaii?

[Luke Burbank]

But what I wanted to say was just, I wanted to say that, but I also wanted to just kind of clarify. Like a couple people I think were kind of like, oh wait, they were confused by what was going on because we didn't go out of our way to mention that we were going to kind of go on tape. We're always on tape, but sometimes we're a little more on tape than other times. And I think, just so everybody knows, I mean, this is sort of our goal is to obviously keep as many folks listening to tbtl to as many episodes of TBTL as possible because that's good for the show for a variety of reasons. And so in years past, we've really made a big deal about the fact that we were going to be doing Summer Games. We were going to be taking a couple of weeks of, of shorter shows that we could prerecord, etc. And then we would hear from people that they would say like, oh, you know, I kind of take the Summer Games as an opportunity maybe to like catch up on other things. Or it's like a little two week break from tbtl.

[Andrew]

It's an immediate turn off. I mean, I just said I've heard from so many people who are like, oh, you're doing Summer Games. I'll check in again in two weeks. It's like people don't even give it a shot.

[Luke Burbank]

And so we didn't want that. Our theory is like, that's also not a great, that's not a great thing for the show. So what we thought was, well, maybe the way we should do it. And we've had a transition to this is like, we don't go so crazy getting into it because what we're hoping happens is somebody is listening and they tune in on the Monday and they hear us going through the voicemail and they enjoy themselves and they listen to the show and they enjoy the show. And maybe they wouldn't have tuned in if, if, if they had been given two weeks of heads up, like, hey, we're gonna be, we're gonna be doing shorter shows on tape. Maybe we overcorrected this time around. Maybe it was a little more, a little more low keyed than, than we needed it to be. I don't know. It's a work in progress. We're always trying to figure it out. So to people who are a little bit. Who are mildly confused. Sorry for the mild confusion, but we're back now to doing long distended shows about me buying luggage in Bath, England. So all's well. That's back to being what it usually is, which is to say tbt. All right, I guess that's gonna do it.

[Andrew]

Email, voicemail, you want.

[Luke Burbank]

Do you have some.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Do we have any voicemail?

[Andrew]

Here's the deal. Yeah, like, so we truly, truly did clear the voicemail line last week. I. What we didn't get to in the regular show, I put together if you heard Friday's episode, a long voicemail montage to end out the. To kind of cap the two weeks. So now we are back in a position where we're getting, you know, a moderate amount of voicemails coming in and I would really like to stay on top of it and keep the listeners nice. So let's.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, well then let me play the ding dang sound, dude, once again with the email. Every week I hope that it's from a female. Oh man, it's not from a female. All right. Emails or vmails, Andrew?

[Andrew]

You know, I don't really have anything here. Do you remember? I think it was actually. It might have even been on Friday show we played. I kind of felt bad about this we really were trying to randomize the voicemails. Like, there were things that I had listened to and saved, but I didn't remember why I'd save them. And I played something that was labeled Jake, Doors Fail. And I didn't remember what it was. And it turns out it was a failure of a voicemail because Jake started to tell a story about why he hates the band the Doors. I don't know what, you know, prompted him to leave this voicemail, but he's like 30 seconds in, and he's like, ugh, this is too long of a story. I don't have time to tell this story. Never. It's not even that interesting. Nevermind. He hung up. And we played that on the Voice on the. On the podcast. And then I heard from a lot of listeners who are like, I was interested. And I think you were like, well, Jake, we were kind of interested in where that story was going. So, Jake, tell us, why do you hate the Doors? And how does it tie into your camping experiences as a kid?

[Jake]

Oh, yo, friend does. It's Jake in Chicago. Just following up with the rest of my. The Doors story. The Dories, whatever. Okay, so I. Oh, my God, here we go. So growing up, we would go camping in Manistee, Michigan. Beautiful little forest on the Lake Michigan. Up north. We would go with a couple other families, you know, with kids our same age and parents. My parents age, you know, and so we came across a forest while hiking one day that was perfectly. Every tree was perfectly in line with the same one to its north, north, south, east, west, for acres upon acres. And it was super creepy because everybody of the parents generation would. Would sing Children of the Corn just like that. Like Riders on the Storm by the Doors. But none of us kids knew who the Doors were or much was the song Riders on the Storm. So it wasn't until much later that I heard that song. I was like, oh, I know this song from the terrifying moments that our parents terrorized us with us children. Anyway, apologies for the long story. I hope it was worth it.

[Andrew]

You know what I picture, Luke? What is that very famous piece of artwork in Los Angeles right outside the museum, Right, with all the pillars that are, like, fully spaced apart.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. All of those lights.

[Andrew]

Yeah, the lights. I can't think of it. I'm picturing, like a. Yeah. Acres and acres of forest where all these trees are just, like, perfectly spaced apart in a grid. That is creepy.

[Luke Burbank]

Urban Light.

[Andrew]

Urban Light, yeah. Is the name outside lacma. Am I right about that?

[Luke Burbank]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, maybe the old lacma. They're building a new lacma, by the way.

[Andrew]

They are, yeah. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

When I was interviewing Ryan Seacrest, we went to lacma, and then I was looking at the construction of the, like, the new addition to it or whatever. But, yeah, that is. I could totally understand if you had a Jake, by the way. Thank you. That paid off for me, anyway, that, like, the grownups were singing a scary song to you to the tune of Riders on the Storm. So you have a negative association with it. And then also, then you hear the songwriters on the Storm, and then you're like, whoa, that's the song that scared me as a kid. So I totally. I totally get that.

[Andrew]

Other people could have just said, I don't like the Doors because I heard the song the Soft Parade.

[Luke Burbank]

But then you heard the song the Soft Parade and you said, yes, it open.

[Andrew]

It opened up. It was a. What did The.

[Luke Burbank]

The doors to Perception.

[Andrew]

It opened up the doors to perception.

[Luke Burbank]

Doors of perception, I think.

[Andrew]

Doors of perception, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, any other emails or vmails?

[Andrew]

Oh, that's good for now, but I'm gonna try to keep some voicemails here at the end of the show.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, we're gonna try it. This is the thing I've learned from listening to cup of tea in a chat. 1. I get no respect. I get no regard. No regard. And secondarily, it is nice how radio y.

[Andrew]

It is, you know, very much so.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, benchmarks and quarter hours being swept and.

[Andrew]

And the listeners. And also the listen. The listener segment is so, so, so good on cup of tea and a chat. And I think that our listeners are really bringing it, too. That's why I always feel bad when we. We kind of leave them out of the show.

[Luke Burbank]

So no more new new pages, new year, new us.

[Andrew]

That's right, In August.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, thanks for listening, everybody. We are going to be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio, so please do join us for that. In the meantime, have a great Monday. Take care of yourselves, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[Andrew]

And good luck to all. Power out.