Andrew Walsh (1:23)

You know what the three most exciting sounds in the world are.

Luke Burbank (1:25)

My name is Luke Burbank.

Andrew Walsh (1:26)

I'm your host. You're like the Daniel Day Lewis of only doing one thing.

Luke Burbank (1:30)

Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we have arrived at episode 4000, 547 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. The show has been around, I guess, for like, I'm using the number 17 years now. I don't know if that's accurate or not, but I'll just go with that. And one of the only thing that's been going on longer than this show is the feud between Morrissey and the other guys in the band the Smiths. And now Morrissey has decided he can't take it anymore. I'm not handling this well. He is selling his interest in the band the Smiths. I'm gonna read you the sort of the want ad, the for sale ad that he posted on Instagram is pretty interesting stuff. Speaking of buying things, I don't have enough money to buy the Smiths by Morrissey's interest in the Smiths. But I, you know, I do tend to when I Like something. I might buy a backup version of it. I might buy something and then buy the same thing again in case something happens to the first one. But I don't know, that feels a little consumerist consumer ish to me sometimes. I'm not proud of that behavior. But then I'll tell you what. I have an experience like I did this week that makes me rue not buying, duplicate and even triplicate of things.

Andrew Walsh (2:52)

I'd buy that for a dollar.

Luke Burbank (2:54)

Anyway, we'll get into that. Oh, and we'll talk to this guy. Speaking of goths, I don't know if Morrissey is really technically a goth. Robert Smith is probably more of a goth from the Cure. Morrissey is a whole different category. Anyway, speaking of goths, the sexy goth.

Andrew Walsh (3:08)

Bad boy is back at it again, ladies and gentlemen.

Luke Burbank (3:13)

He may be best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

Andrew Walsh (3:18)

Good morning, Luke. Looks like I got myself a little date later today.

Luke Burbank (3:24)

Oh, really?

Andrew Walsh (3:25)

Yes, as you know.

Luke Burbank (3:26)

Genevieve know about it?

Andrew Walsh (3:27)

No, not yet. Okay, so you know part of this story because it started happening right as we were dialing up. I got a random text message.

Luke Burbank (3:37)

Oh, shit.

Andrew Walsh (3:37)

From the 218 area code. By the way, this is not to the TBTL line. This is to my personal phone. I got a random message from the 218 area code, says, is everything okay? Out of the blue, somebody text me, is everything okay?

Luke Burbank (3:53)

This is coming from the Duluth, Moorhead, Brainerd, Bemidji area.

Andrew Walsh (3:57)

You just have that off the top of the dome too? That's the amazing thing. Your computer isn't even working today, I don't think. No, that's amazing.

Luke Burbank (4:03)

Plugged in.

Andrew Walsh (4:03)

So obviously this is a scammer. I get these from time to time. I haven't gotten one in a while because I think they've given up on me. Usually they're like they're trying to scam me and I'm trying to become their best friend. And at some point they realize it's a waste of their time and it's a bummer for me. You know, my friend Katie is good at kind of stringing these folks along, but it seems to develop into more full blown relationships. Not IRL relationships, but to the point where she's encouraged to take this conversation to a more comfortable place called WhatsApp. For some reason, I don't know what happens over at WhatsApp, and you never find nothing good. Never follow a scammer to a third WhatsApp, that's for damn sure. And I know that Katie's smarter than that, but she and I sort of have this game where when we get these random, obviously scammy messages that are supposed to confuse us and maybe. Maybe, I don't know, get us to somehow open up our wallets or bank accounts, I like to see how far we can take it. And so when I got this text message that says, is everything okay? I wrote, thank you for asking. I didn't. I didn't say yes or no. I just don't come on too strong. And they said, you're welcome. What are you doing today? And I said, I have to go to the bank later. But not much aside from that. Now, that's. I told you before the show, I like to, like, sprinkle in little clues that I might have money. Luke.

Luke Burbank (5:23)

In this case, I'm just getting my monocles polished.

Andrew Walsh (5:25)

That's right. I remember one time telling somebody about how I was like, well, they asked, like, what I did. And I'm like, well, I'm about to retire early from my tech company. Life's been good to me. But my grandkids tell me I shouldn't be talking to strangers on the phone or whatever to really set them. But I trust you.

Luke Burbank (5:44)

My word, my worry kids. Bentley and Maybach. Even your grandkids have to have expensive names. Really lean into the fantasy for this person.

Andrew Walsh (5:53)

So anyway, they said, what are you doing later? I said, I have to go to the bank later, but not much aside from that. And then this trip stranger with a heart of gold said, after you go to the bank, let's have a cup of coffee and chat. Now, this is the first time I've ever. I've ever actually been asked out, like, to an IRL date. So I wrote, sounds good. Usual place.

Luke Burbank (6:15)

So what I find fascinating about this is, is that you're even engaging, because I. When I get a message like that, I immediately hit. I tell my phone, delete. And it has another little category, delete and report junk. And I do that because I am terrified of those people finding out that there is a living, breathing human being on the other end of that telephone number.

Andrew Walsh (6:38)

Well, I invited this person to meet up at the usual place. And they said, yes, usual place. Are you and your husband together? And I wrote, well, it's complicated. We can talk about it later. And they just responded, like, literally a minute ago, it doesn't matter. After you go to the bank, take your husband with you. So they want me to bring my Husband on this date. It sounds like maybe we all. Maybe we're all getting together for coffee.

Luke Burbank (7:09)

I wonder if they think that in America, if you and they're presuming you're a wife. I guess I'm assuming that they're skipping over the category of you might be a man married to a man.

Andrew Walsh (7:21)

Maybe. I think they assume I'm in a throuple.

Luke Burbank (7:25)

I'm wondering if they think that your fictional husband needs to be at the bank with you in order for you to withdraw the funds that they need.

Andrew Walsh (7:33)

Oh, interesting.

Luke Burbank (7:34)

It's a weird clarification for them.

Andrew Walsh (7:36)

It is. I'm trying to the bank. I'm always trying to figure out the note. The. The sort of, the. Wow, it's going to be a good show. What are we in three minutes? In eight minutes? In what? The motivation. That's the big word I was looking for. I'm always wondering what the actual motivation is. What the end game. Like I told you, for some reason they want to get you off of SMS text chat and get you over into WhatsApp. Probably because of the various features like privacy and maybe, you know, not. Maybe it's harder to keep records on WhatsApp if they have one.

Luke Burbank (8:08)

Thing is WhatsApp is free texting International.

Andrew Walsh (8:10)

Oh, that's true. Oh.

Luke Burbank (8:11)

It's why our friend Bean forces me constantly to go into the gulag that is WhatsApp to retrieve messages. But also, I'm assuming that these scammers have access to some sort of computer program that allows them to text anywhere in the world for free. If they were paying 3 cents for each one of these scam.

Andrew Walsh (8:30)

I just picture, like, the scam boss saying to the scam employee, he's got to spend money to make money. Boys.

Luke Burbank (8:34)

Yeah.

Andrew Walsh (8:35)

Got to spend money to make money.

Luke Burbank (8:36)

And they're coming into a. Is that a Dan Hadiah line?

Andrew Walsh (8:40)

I can't. I mean, it's an old idiom, right?

Luke Burbank (8:42)

Like, do you think, like, something he would be saying right after he says, I know he can. I know he can get the job, but can he do the job?

Andrew Walsh (8:48)

I'm not arguing that with you.

Luke Burbank (8:51)

But like, again, do you feel like there is an uptick in the attention, the spam attention that you're getting after you engage in one of these things? Because I feel. This is how I imagine these things go.

Andrew Walsh (9:02)

No, over. I can't. They haven't texted me in, like six months. That's why I'm so lonely. That's why I'm engaging immediately with this person.

Luke Burbank (9:11)

I imagine this room full of people who, you know, likely in some far away place who are just hammering their computers or whatever device they're using to send these. These. These messages out. And, you know, let's just say that. That a hundred thousand messages get sent out in an hour by whatever the computer program is. And like, 9, 90, 9,990 of those must just go into the void. I feel like there must be a.

Andrew Walsh (9:40)

Like a.

Luke Burbank (9:41)

A lever. You know how, like, when you work on an assembly line, it's like a conveyor belt, and you can pull one of these, like a brake to stop the whole thing. I feel like in this room, in this boiler room, where these people are just, like, sending out these messages, hey, how's it going? How's your day going? What are you doing later? Etc. That when someone actually gets a live one, like you responding, oh, I'm going to the bank. I have all this money around. I got to stop keeping it in this mattress. This feels unsafe. Like, you are like a. You know, you are a fat, juicy worm on the hook. You would think that they would pull. Someone would pull that. Pull that lever, and everyone would gather around their desk and they'd be like, I got a real one. And yet none of these have even gotten to the point where they bring you over to WhatsApp or.

Andrew Walsh (10:23)

They haven't even asked me, though. There's something that. That's the thing that's bugging me is I'm turning them off. I. The last several that I've had, which I feel like is going might even be more than six months, because I feel like I. The last time I engaged with this, me and Katie were watching a football game at the Eagles or something. That's a vague memory. I could be wrong, but I feel like it's been a long time, but, like, I'm the one who's always like, yeah, like, let's continue this conversation. And they eventually just sort of fade away. So, you know, I just want to be loved. Honestly, I'm doing something wrong here.

Luke Burbank (10:55)

I'm more concerned about these scammers, Andrew. I mean, yes, I feel that you deserve. I would agree that, like every human, you deserve love.

Andrew Walsh (11:03)

Yeah. But wait, is that literally a Morrissey? So I am human and I need to be loved?

Luke Burbank (11:09)

Yes.

Andrew Walsh (11:11)

Are we. Are we doing that on purpose?

Luke Burbank (11:15)

And the moon. I am the silence. That is criminally vulgar.

Andrew Walsh (11:20)

You know what?

Luke Burbank (11:20)

We just do Morrissey now because we're talking about it. Why not?

Andrew Walsh (11:23)

You know what, Luke? This is something that now I just Got another.

Luke Burbank (11:26)

It's impossible. Morrissey is the one who's reaching out to you.

Andrew Walsh (11:29)

I just got a text message that said, email me morrisseymail.com no, this is one. I just got another text message totally unrelated to that chain. And this one does feel scammy to me. It's supposedly from my QFC pharmacy.

Luke Burbank (11:48)

Okay.

Andrew Walsh (11:49)

But it's very strange. I've never gotten anything like this before. And I got this the other day and. And then I just got a follow up right now because I didn't. Did not respond. It just says the phone number it comes from is 27355. So not even a real phone number. Right. And it just says, start a refill. Comma. Andrew, Our X, starting with these three letters is due for refill at qfc. I don't know why I'm not telling you what the three letters are, but I'm just leaving. I'm just redacting that for this conversation. Text yes to refill. No response necessary. If refill isn't needed, stop to opt out. Now, I saw that the other day, and. And I have a prescription drug that begins with these three letters. And I look down into my bottle. I'm like, oh, it is kind of getting close to when I would need a refill on these. It's kind of hard to keep track of them because I only take them once a week, but I take eight of them on one day, so it's kind of hard to look down and kind of do that.

Luke Burbank (12:43)

Shoot it out of a cannon, right?

Andrew Walsh (12:44)

Shoot it into my mouth like. Like Homer in Hell with the donut machine.

Luke Burbank (12:48)

You swing on a trapeze and the pharmacist loads all these horse pills into a cannon and fires them directly at you. That's how. That's the intake.

Andrew Walsh (12:55)

Right. I don't understand. Like, I used to have to get pills for our old cat, Theo Murray, and they were tiny, tiny little pills. And then we had to cut them in half because they couldn't make the doses small enough. Right. Meanwhile, I am a human man, and they're giving me this pill that I have to take eight of these little guys. Can't we make the cat pills smaller and the human pills bigger? Why am I taking eight of these things as opposed to two a day?

Luke Burbank (13:25)

Write that down on your joke account.

Andrew Walsh (13:27)

It wasn't a joke. It was a real story.

Luke Burbank (13:29)

No, that's observational humor. That's good. That's better than your Stephen Wright stuff.

Andrew Walsh (13:34)

No, it's not. That stuff is gold. Anyway, they just texted Me again, they're.

Luke Burbank (13:38)

Like a scam, but they're like, Andrew.

Andrew Walsh (13:39)

Your refill is overdue exclamation point. And then this thing is overdue for refill qfc. There's something about this. Like, no, I never opted into this. They, they do have my first name. But why say, Andrew, your refill is overdue with an exclamation point? This doesn't sound pharmacy. This doesn't, this doesn't sound like professionals.

Luke Burbank (13:57)

This doesn't sound like the big pharma, you know. No, I get those from Safeway as well.

Andrew Walsh (14:01)

Do you?

Luke Burbank (14:02)

Yes. So I do think it's legit. And I don't even. I'm not actually on any prescription meds at the moment. I don't even know when I. Well, that's not true. I'm taking those anti baldness pills, I guess. So maybe I don't think I even get those from Safeway though. I think I get those from like my healthcare provider when I go down there. So in other words, Safeway is just kind of, it is in a way a scam because in my case, I don't have any active prescriptions going with them. They're trying to gin up some business because one time I stupidly gave them my cell phone number.

Andrew Walsh (14:32)

Oh, that's weird. Well, I'll tell you what, like, I'm not. I didn't even mean for the conversation to go here, but the texter that the scammer that is scamming me has has a better sort of grasp of tone than this supposedly real pharmaceutical concern. And I'm not going to respond to that one. I am going to refill this using.

Luke Burbank (14:54)

Pharmacists out for coffee.

Andrew Walsh (14:56)

Well, I didn't say I'm not going to do that, but I am going to refill it. And when I go to the pharmacy to pick up my pills, I'm going to show them this and say, can you confirm that this is actually from you guys? Because it seems sort of weird. And if you're going to just start sent like a year into me taking all these various medications, I just get this one without any kind of introduction. Hey, by the way, you've been entered into the automatic text program with QFC Pharmacy or whatever. It seems very strange. And when you're talking about pharmaceuticals prescriptions and stuff, often you're dealing with a part of the population that might be aging a little bit and is less familiar with some technologies and also have people in their life saying like, do not respond to text messages that seem weird. Like this, like, this one to me has all of the. All of the signs and flags of something that says do not touch.

Luke Burbank (15:43)

You know, what Safeway is doing. I just went back and found all of these. These texts. I must have gotten a. A, like a Covid booster and. Or a flu shot. In fact, I know that I got a Covid booster at Safeway, which I actually had to pay top dollar for. This was because something was coming up and I knew that if I were to Covid was going around again, some version of it, by the way, I think it might be going around again. Again. Like, I know about five. Five people who have it right now. But anyway, I went in. I. There was. There was something going on where it was like I. I was like, I cannot under any circumstances get Covid. And the booster was out, but it wasn't available yet at my, like, the, you know, healthcare provider I go to. But somehow Safeway had it for like $130. So I went and I paid the $130. I got the COVID booster. And then the doctor told me, yeah, this kicks in. This takes about. I think it was like, this takes five days to kick in. And the thing I was doing was in like, three days.

Andrew Walsh (16:40)

I vaguely remember that. Yeah.

Luke Burbank (16:41)

But because I got on their list, they're just. What they're constantly trying to do is get me to go in to do a flu shot. This is as of September of last year. Safeway Rx. Hi, Luke. This season, help protect your respiratory health with the flu and COVID 19 vaccines. Then I get another one in February of this year. Hi. Don't let the flu bench you during the big game. Get your flu shot before the big game so your health can be the mvp. God, who writes this?

Andrew Walsh (17:08)

Those are corny, but at least they sound like a national pharmacy wrote them and is marketing them. These that I'm getting are very strange and abrupt and using exclamation points in strange places.

Luke Burbank (17:22)

Hi, Luke. Did you know the CDC recommends a hepatitis B vaccine for all adults age 19 to 59? Liver and health today. Yeah, right. Hi, Luke. Did you hear? The CDC has been disbanded.

Andrew Walsh (17:35)

Right. Fun.

Luke Burbank (17:37)

I'm just reading through these. I. By the way, I. Hey, Luke, did you know adults 18+ need a tetanus shot every 10 years? Walk in today or schedule it here. By the way, speaking of tetanus shots, I poked myself the other day, Andrew, with. It wasn't a rusty nail, but a literal nail that went into my finger kind of in between where, like, my fingers are. And it really hurt. It went through my glove.

Andrew Walsh (18:04)

You're webbing. We'll call it your webbing.

Luke Burbank (18:06)

The webbing. Thank you. That's exactly what it was. Isn't it ironic, Andrew, that the. All of those rumors were sort of circulating about Donald Trump being deceased and really what was dead was the Mariners playoff chances.

Andrew Walsh (18:19)

Do you think that that's where the confusion came?

Luke Burbank (18:21)

I think that's probably where people got webbing. Made me think of the webbing of a glove.

Andrew Walsh (18:25)

That's why I was wondering where you're going. I thought maybe you were working on your stand up special now.

Luke Burbank (18:29)

No, that's locked in.

Andrew Walsh (18:30)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (18:30)

That's locked down. Actually, we should. Tomorrow on the show, remind me, I mentioned this in passing, but, like, there's this event tomorrow night that's at a. At Laurelhurst park in Portland. It's called like kickstand comedy. I guess it's a big hit. Like tons of people come out to this thing and there's actual real comedians performing. But I'm like hosting it. This is kind of like a outreach thing for Livewire. Just a way of letting more folks in the community know that we're doing the radio show. We're not recording it per se, it's just a thing. But I was talking to one of our producers. I guess I'm supposed to do stand up or something. I mean, I know this is why you are.

Andrew Walsh (19:02)

That's why the other day when you brought this up the other day you said that's what. I don't know if I'm just hosting or if I'm actually doing jokes.

Luke Burbank (19:09)

Well, what it is, is that I'm. I am hosting. But what am I going to say up there? I should probably say some jokes. Mm, Maybe I could use that. Donald Trump, Mariners 1.

Andrew Walsh (19:19)

Yeah, that's what. That's what I. That's what, that's what I was thinking.

Luke Burbank (19:22)

That's what the young parents of Portland. I assume the entire crowd is young Portland parents because it's in a park. You can bring a picnic blanket. You can have your kids there. I feel like I'm going to gaze out onto a sea of young Portland parents and then I'm going to hit them with the Mariners comedy and they're going to love it.

Andrew Walsh (19:37)

I was going to make not even a joke, a quasi humorous comment. But then it occurred to me, maybe this is a real thing. Do you think that there are people who are using ChatGPT or other AI services to help them write a stand up routine? There must be. Right? That's A great idea. I'm on ChatGPT right now. Are you on it? Do you want me to do this?

Luke Burbank (20:02)

I'm just. I'm logging in. I'm logging in.

Andrew Walsh (20:03)

I wasn't sure if you had a chatgpt. I've actually.

Luke Burbank (20:06)

Do I need an account?

Andrew Walsh (20:07)

I think so, because it remembers all of my conversations, the conversations that I've had with the robot. Let me see here. Oh, somebody wrote in. I couldn't tell if they were being offering humorous observations as well or if they're really confused that I. They think that I think robot is actually pronounced robot. I just like to say things that are more fun, like Reese's Pieces. I don't care if it's. Are you working on it? Do you have a stand up routine?

Luke Burbank (20:34)

It's writing it.

Andrew Walsh (20:35)

Oh, great.

Luke Burbank (20:36)

Stand up comedy routine for young parents in Portland.

Andrew Walsh (20:39)

Oh, great. Here we go.

Luke Burbank (20:40)

Set length, five to seven minutes.

Andrew Walsh (20:42)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (20:42)

Here's the opening. Here's the crowd. Warm up, Andrew. Hey, Portland. If this would be here tonight.

Andrew Walsh (20:47)

It's about them. I almost didn't make it.

Luke Burbank (20:50)

Hold on, let me. Let me get in my groove here. I almost didn't make it. Not because of traffic, but because my toddler fell asleep one minute before we had to leave the house. And as a parent, you know, when the baby sleeps, you do not move. We just canceled all our plans and sat in the driveway. Like, don't ruin this.

Andrew Walsh (21:07)

Okay?

Luke Burbank (21:07)

I will text the babysitter and tell her to bring the snacks to the Subaru.

Andrew Walsh (21:12)

Oh, my God. That's relatable. I mean, it's funny, but it's relatable.

Luke Burbank (21:16)

I have been to far worse comedy performances than this.

Andrew Walsh (21:20)

You're actually into it.

Luke Burbank (21:21)

On being a parent, I'm. I am impressed at this, at the level of comedy this thing is creating. On being a parent in Portland. Andrew. Folks, being a parent in Portland is wild, right? Everyone's like, are you raising your baby vegan? I'm like, no, I'm just trying to keep him from licking the dog.

Andrew Walsh (21:36)

Oh, actually, that's kind of a joke.

Luke Burbank (21:38)

I mean, let's try to get through teething before we debate the ethics of oat milk. Okay. We went to a parenting meeting the other day. This is actually kind of serious. A lot of the kids aren't getting vaccinated, and there's a lot of. A lot of whooping cough. Yeah. I don't know why this thing has gotten so serious on me. No. We went to a parenting meetup the other day in southeast Portland. Someone asked me, hey, what's your child's sun sign? I thought they meant sunscreen, Andrew. I was like, I don't know, SPF 50. And then they told me my baby's mercury was in retrograde. And I'm like, that explains the diaper blowouts. Are you not entertained?

Andrew Walsh (22:22)

I am.

Luke Burbank (22:23)

This is good comedy considering a robot wrote in.

Andrew Walsh (22:27)

Well, a robot wrote it in seconds.

Luke Burbank (22:30)

In a blink of an eye.

Andrew Walsh (22:32)

And that's what my brain is sort of kind of like, where is it grabbing this? Is it actually constructing these jokes? Are these repurposed jokes? Did it scan the Internet and grab things that comedians or podcasters have said before and then rework them a little.

Luke Burbank (22:44)

Bit on Portland specific parenting trends? That's also, by the way, one of my favorite Billy Collins poems on Portland specific parenting trends. Portland has parenting trends. Okay, that I have, like, never heard of before. Have you heard of elimination communication, anybody? This is big here in Portland. It's where you watch your baby really closely, you learn their cues, and you hold them over a bucket instead of using diapers. I tried it once. I ended up covered in pee. Now we just use Costco diapers and we lie about it on Instagram. Oh, this is good stuff, man.

Andrew Walsh (23:20)

It is good stuff. You know, it's a problem. Is also parent humor isn't. I don't know if they're funny or not because I'm not a parent. What's something I'm into? Can you ask it to do a stand up set about playing archiving YouTube videos? How about darts for a dart convention or a dart player convention?

Luke Burbank (23:39)

Stand up comedy set for a group of dart players.

Andrew Walsh (23:47)

All right, here we go.

Luke Burbank (23:51)

It's five to seven minutes. Andrew. This is my dart player stand up comedy set. This is where. This is how I relate to the audience. This is parenthetically opening relating to the audience. Hey, hey. Good to be here with all of you fine dart throwers, or as I like to call you, Olympic level athletes trapped in the body of a guy named Dave from accounting.

Andrew Walsh (24:10)

Okay, all right.

Luke Burbank (24:12)

I mean, darts. Darts are the only sport where I hit triple 23 times is followed immediately by, and then I ate an entire kebab off the floor.

Andrew Walsh (24:23)

Quite. Get that one.

Luke Burbank (24:24)

I think that might be British pub dart humor.

Andrew Walsh (24:29)

So. But is. Are they saying that they threw three triple twenties and then ate something off the floor? Yeah, that's the joke.

Luke Burbank (24:35)

I think the point is that you have this. I'm going the kebab thing, to me feels like something that would be like maybe a British pub experience.

Andrew Walsh (24:44)

Oh, yeah. I'm sure it's like a. So it's like kind of like when we're in Croatia, we had that kebab stuff all the time. What is that kebab called in Croatia? Very close. Yeah, sorry, I can't remember it. I ate more of it. Clogged up my brain.

Luke Burbank (24:57)

How? Let's talk. Let's talk about the sport itself, Andrew, for a minute. Okay. I still. You still with me in the back? Let's be honest. Darts is the only sport where your biggest injury risk is bending down to pick up your pint too fast. I know some of you warm up.

Andrew Walsh (25:11)

With a few throws.

Luke Burbank (25:12)

Others of you warm up with three pints and a cigarette outside while muttering, I used to be good.

Andrew Walsh (25:18)

Actually, that one, Gabby. See, I just wasn't. I just didn't have any buy in to the parents.

Luke Burbank (25:25)

You didn't have a connection point to the Cosby.

Andrew Walsh (25:28)

That one is very bleak and it made me laugh. Just somebody smoking a cigarette, sadly looking down at the ground saying, I used to be good.

Luke Burbank (25:37)

Hey, Andrew, why is it that darts are the only sport that turns you into a human calculator? I mean, someone yells 2, 4, 7 and suddenly I'm like, okay, if I hit triple 19, double 19, subtract my mortgage, carry the 2. And someone's always shouting out helpful advice like, just go for bull, mate. Like, I hadn't considered that. Oh, the middle one. Thanks, genius.

Andrew Walsh (26:00)

That one makes me feel bad because the thing that I'm worst at at darts is the math. And I just use a program to do the math for me now. And on the rare occasion that I got to play with some. One of my most embarrassing moments of the past couple of years was I was playing darts with somebody and we're just using a chalkboard and I literally couldn't get the math down at all because it is very mathy. You got to get a double out and all this stuff. And I'm just playing with this guy who's drunker than me and he's laughing at me because I can't do the math. And then the more he laughs, the harder it is to do the math. But it is difficult. Did I make that funny? That was me punching that up.

Luke Burbank (26:35)

Thank you. You know, the chatgpt will also do that for us. Let me know if you want it cleaner, edgier, or customized for a specific group, like a tournament crowd, a local pub or a league night. So we could actually. Can you. You make it edgier? I'm asking it to make the dark Absolutely. Let's dial up the edge without being full on offensive. We'll aim for cheeky blunt and pub honest. Here we go. Edgier stand up comedy set for dart players, Andrew. Good evening, you beautiful beer bloated bastards.

Andrew Walsh (27:09)

Oh, wow.

Luke Burbank (27:10)

Nothing like a room full of dart players. The only athletes who carb load exclusively on potato chips, regret and Stella Artois. I mean, darts. It's the only sport where you can go, oy, ref, I'm too pissed to stand. And the ref just says, yeah, but can you hit tops? This is skewing heavily British here. You guys take darts more seriously than you take your families, am I right? Half of you don't know your checkout percentages. Oh, half of you know your checkout percentages, but you haven't spoken to your kids in six years. It's also dark because it's probably true. I asked a guy the other night, Andrew, what he does for fun. He said, play darts and avoid child support.

Andrew Walsh (27:51)

This is making me not want to play darts anymore. This should be like some sort of a. Like a darts recovery program.

Luke Burbank (27:58)

Yeah, that's. And the reason, the reason that we know this is the edgier darts related stand up comedy, Andrew is because after I say the line, this guy says, I like to play darts and avoid child child support. I'm supposed to say respect. Hey, let's be honest, Andrew. Darts is the only sport where the uniform is just whatever shirt hides your gut the best. This one says Jack Daniels on it. It's performance wear.

Andrew Walsh (28:25)

Kind of true.

Luke Burbank (28:28)

Oh, man. Romance and regret in the world of dart century. I told my ex I had a big match. She said, oh, you mean like football? I said, no, babe, I mean like standing in a smoke filled room with a guy named Barry breathing on my neck while I try not to hit the wall. She left me. I blame bad doubles. Is that bad doubles? Is that a term that means anything to you?

Andrew Walsh (28:48)

I don't know what that means.

Luke Burbank (28:49)

That's British score.

Andrew Walsh (28:50)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (28:50)

Hey, speaking of Brits, let's talk about Morrissey. Andrew, we're here. We're doing it.

Andrew Walsh (28:53)

Yeah, let's do it.

Luke Burbank (28:55)

Morrissey. According to the New York Times article by Jenny Gross reporting from London, Morrissey seeks to sell his rights to the Smith's song, citing malicious associations with his former bandmates. The lead singer of the 1980s band said he had no choice but to sell to protect his health. Just the words, malicious associations. It's impossible to say those words without hearing Morrissey sing them.

Andrew Walsh (29:19)

Yeah, Good call. Can I ask you a question that might. Might set you up for failure. And I don't mean to, and it's fine if you don't know. But before we get into this, is there anything you can tell me about the history of Morrissey and the Smiths and this ongoing beef? Because when you mentioned something about this very briefly before the show, I'm like, oh, yeah, they kind of beef a lot. Is that still going on? But I only had the vaguest recollection of something from the 90s or something. Is this. This must be a huge part of Smith's lore. Is this why he went solo and everything?

Luke Burbank (29:52)

Well, they broke up in 1987 and. Which is mentioned in this article. And it's unclear to me because I'm not a historian on the matter, what exactly went down. But the band broke up. I mean, Morrissey is notoriously kind of difficult. Difficult. Let's just say he is difficult. Not unlike Squiggy Frog.

Andrew Walsh (30:16)

So.

Luke Burbank (30:17)

And the funny part is, well, I'm kind of all over the place already. I ended up because I read this story in the New York Times. Then I jumped to, you know, at the end of the article, it lists other things in the universe of the Smiths that the New York Times has written about. And one was a profile of Johnny Mar, who of course, famously was the guitarist for the Smiths and wrote a lot of very, very kind of iconic guitar riffs. And it's a profile of Johnny Mar, who had put out a solo record in 2013. A couple of things. I found out he was living in Portland and I became immediately nervous, slash excited that I was going to run into Johnny Marr on the streets of Portland, even though this is 15 years ago or something.

Andrew Walsh (30:52)

Oh, this is Pre Livewire. I thought you were. You're Pre Livewire.

Luke Burbank (30:55)

And a long time ago. I didn't realize the article was written in like 2013. I was just reading it and they're like, you know, Johnny Marr, who grew up outside of Manchester, these days he lives in Portland, which he really loves. I was like, holy, Johnny Marr is in my town. But the thing about the Johnny Marr profile was that the person writing about him goes to great lengths to mention how thoughtful, soft spoken and agreeable Johnny Marr is, which I read to be. This has got to be Morrissey's problem. This has got to be a Morrissey issue. He's a famously difficult person, as you said. So I don't know exactly what happened and I don't know if anybody knows, but after they broke up, somehow it became this long running thing that they like. And in fact in that article, in that interview with Johnny Marr, the guitar player, the interviewer asked him the last time he spoke to Morrissey and he said, I think it was a couple years ago. We traded emails. He goes, there's not really any big reason we need to talk. He didn't say anything mean about Morrissey. He was just like, we just don't really talk. In this article. One of the things Morrissey says about Johnny Marr is that he, Morrissey had secured a very lucrative tour for them to tour together. Johnny Marr and Morrissey together as the Smiths. That would be a big tour for certain people, people like me. And that Johnny Marr had not even responded to his query. So he's butt hurt that Johnny Marr didn't want to go tour with him. But that's more recent times. Morrissey said on Wednesday that he was putting his financial stake in the Smiths up for sale because he had, quote, burned out by any and all connections to his one time bandmates. The singer, his full name is Steven Patrick Morrissey, wrote on his website that he had no choice but to offer his interest, including full and exclusive rights to the music and lyrics of all songs and recordings by the Smiths to anyone who would buy them. I have had enough of malicious associations. I've had enough malicious associations. Morrissey, 66, wrote in a post titled A Soul for Sale.

Andrew Walsh (32:51)

Oh my God.

Luke Burbank (32:55)

This guy just can't stop writing hits. So I mean, it's amazing. The post is Instagram post. A Soul for Sale. With my entire life, this is the quote. With my entire life I have paid my rightful dues to these songs and these images. I would now like to live disassociated from those who wish me nothing but ill will and destruction. And this is the only resolution. That's Morrissey presumably not singing it when he wrote this thing on Instagram, which is again 100% a Morrissey song.

Andrew Walsh (33:30)

It's all he knows. It's all he ever wants to know. He has one voice at least it's. At least he's true to his voice.

Luke Burbank (33:36)

I mean really, if there's any question about who gets the publishing rights for writing the song, I think we've settled that. He goes on to say, I would now like to live. I think I sang this part disassociated from those who wish me nothing but ill will and destruction. And this is my only resolution. The songs are me, they are no one else, but they bring with them business communications that go to excessive lengths to create as much dread and spite year after year. I must now protect myself, especially my health. Any serious investor should make contact. EA v e s7760mail.com what?

Andrew Walsh (34:14)

Can you say that? Can you say that email again, it's.

Luke Burbank (34:16)

Eves7760Mail.Come a v e s the number 7760@gmail.com trying to figure out if it has.

Andrew Walsh (34:26)

Am I missing a reference?

Luke Burbank (34:29)

I mean, I'm. I was pretty deep into the Smiths and Morrissey and I don't recognize that as being a reference to one of their songs.

Andrew Walsh (34:36)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (34:36)

He is seriously using a Gmail email account, a Gmail account to solicit possible purchase of his interest in the Smiths.

Andrew Walsh (34:48)

So this is interesting to me as far as its publication. Like, if the Smiths, or I'm sorry, if Morrissey really did. His whole argument here just sounds bizarre and it's a little bit hard to relate to. But if he's just like, listen, I have a lot of emotional input into these songs. They are me. But honestly, I am so tired of having to track down Johnny Mar every time Pepsi wants to use us in a commercial or like whatever it could be or. Or Johnny's wants me to use it in a commercial, and I would never do that. Which is what seems more like Morrissey, whatever it is. If the reality is he is just sick of the dealing with the business aspects of owning these songs, which, again, you're Morrissey. You should just have people taking care of that for you. But for whatever reason, it's a burden. You just go to Instagram and create a burner Gmail account. Like, you know, your best bet, you're already friends with everybody in the industry or at least colleagues. Maybe he doesn't have any friends. I don't know. Is this just like a. Is this just like a plea for attention? Like so many things online when people are overly dramatic on Instagram.

Luke Burbank (36:05)

You know, I'm not. I mean, that's a really good point. Like, why in the world is this the place that he's trying to put his for sale sign up for the Smiths? You would think that there would be. Yeah, there would be a whole. There's entire agencies that do this, you know. Now here's the thing that I can relate to with. With Morrissey on this, which is I have been in situations in life where there is a person or persons who you were dealing with, and it's a sort of a legal matter whether it's divorce stuff, kid stuff, whatever stuff that goes on. And when sometimes the relationship can get to a point that when you see that person's name in the email, or you see that person's attorney in the email, or you see an email from your attorney that's referencing that person's attorney, you just. Your stomach kind of drops.

Andrew Walsh (36:56)

You just want to break. You just want it. Just get me out of this.

Luke Burbank (36:59)

It's a bad feeling. And it's just. And it's always kind of, you know, and the periphery of your mind, like, is this going to be the day that I'm going to wake up and there's going to be an email from so and so, and it's going to create an emotional response for me. It's going to make me feel a certain way. I know what those kind of emails or text messages kind of feel like to get and to be in those negotiations. And I can actually kind of understand to a degree what Morrissey is saying here, which is, look, every time there's something related to the Smiths and money, then it means that I have to go back and try to, like, negotiate this with these other people and, you know, and deal with them. And it makes me feel really sad. Now he's saying it in his Morrissey kind of way, but I don't want to have to deal with that. I actually kind of understand that. But again, back to your point, eves7760gmail.com.

Andrew Walsh (37:48)

And where did he originally post this? It was on social.

Luke Burbank (37:52)

I'm looking at an Instagram post.

Andrew Walsh (37:53)

Yeah, so that's what I mean. Like, it's just like, so many people on social media are, you know, they're obviously, people are seeking attention for clout or maybe even profit or whatever. We post things to Instagram as well. But when you have these, like, really overly dramatic things, you realize, well, somebody's just reached their end and they need to, like, kind of. Of whatever situation, it is their emotional end in a particular situation, and they need to just go on Instagram and just tell their side of the story. You know what I mean? I mean, this goes back to your complaints about, like, snapping back at the haters. I don't think you snap back at them. What do you do?

Luke Burbank (38:30)

Clap back.

Andrew Walsh (38:31)

You clap back at the haters, and everybody's got haters and all this stuff, and it's like, yeah, but if you're just somebody who, you know, is just, like, doesn't really have a natural audience, and maybe you have a couple of Hundred followers, and you're really upset. Maybe you're a young person going through some really bad heartbreak at some point, or maybe you're. Whatever the situation is, or you're just, like, so mad at your boss, you just need to fume. You need the world, to the degree that you can reach them, to just sort of see you lashing out and bleeding in a certain way. But this is Morrissey. It just doesn't. It's so the man who is the. And again, I'm not actually. I know a few songs. I had never gotten the Smiths. I actually have more questions about the Smiths for you than. I have opinions on them myself. But, like, the man made a career. He is, like, almost the figurehead of people feeling your emotions along with you. Right. Like, he wrote these poetic songs. It's so pathetic that he's doing this on Instagram. Like, if the newspaper had dug up an email that. That had all this same language, and Morrissey was sending this to his lawyers and Johnny Marr's lawyers, and somebody leaked it, and then we got the leaked email. It's kind of funny. It's like, oh, he writes emails the way he writes songs. That'd be great. There's something so pathetic to me, and I'm sorry to be so harsh about this for Morrissey, the king of emotion. Not really emo the rock style, I guess, but there's the king of emo lowercase either. Just complaining on Instagram about his friends.

Luke Burbank (40:06)

He should be writing this. He should be in a graveyard, and he should be writing it on a scroll.

Andrew Walsh (40:11)

I mean, that gets to what you said at the beginning of the show, though. He's not really goth. Right. I was gonna ask you, as somebody who, like, likes the few Smith songs or Morrissey songs that I know, that people would put on mixes for me back in the 90s and 2000s. I always enjoyed them. I. I don't know how to describe their music. It's not goth. It's not goth. Although he does rem. That's a little bit. I don't know.

Luke Burbank (40:33)

Yeah, it's definitely. You're right. I don't think it's goth. But he does write about cemeteries, like Cemetery gates. I dreaded Sunny days. So I'll meet you at the cemetery gates. Keats and Yates are on my. On your side. Becca and I were in a cemetery. At some point, I just started belting out Cemetery Gates by. Actually, you know what? As we were somewhere in England, we walked by, I think, either the, like, home of Keats or Yates or one of those guys. But anyway. But yeah, it's weird. It's, it's, it's like sad music, but it's not goth music. In fact, I don't even know. I mean, as I said at the beginning of the show, maybe Robert Smith is more goth.

Andrew Walsh (41:07)

I mean he looks more got as being gothy.

Luke Burbank (41:11)

Like, I know Skinny Puppy. That was. I thought, well, there was a very goth kid who liked Skinny Puppy, but I guess Skinny Puppy is more industrial.

Andrew Walsh (41:19)

That's what I would.

Luke Burbank (41:20)

What makes it industrial, by the way?

Andrew Walsh (41:21)

I don't know. And I probably led us to a pretty cringy place in the conversation as you and I tried to parse out various.

Luke Burbank (41:26)

I'm going to ask ChatGPT.

Andrew Walsh (41:28)

That's a good idea. Actually, could you ask ChatGPT to write a stand up bit for a goth crowd? Actually, don't.

Luke Burbank (41:36)

I don't.

Andrew Walsh (41:36)

We can't do that again. That stressed me out too much last time.

Luke Burbank (41:39)

Why did that stress you out?

Andrew Walsh (41:40)

I don't know. Because like, I guess there was an expectation of me to react to those and I didn't really know how to react to those. Like I didn't have, I didn't have a reaction. I didn't want to fake a reaction.

Luke Burbank (41:52)

You know, I was, was listening to some old TBTL the other day, Andrew, which I do sometimes, just to kind of refresh, reset to reconnect with our roots. And it was some old clip of Jen just laughing her head off. And I thought, you know, we could use a little more of that around here circa 2025. So if we could get you, you know, chuckle trained. We get you just actually did.

Andrew Walsh (42:12)

Honestly, have you considered being funnier?

Luke Burbank (42:16)

I actually, to be honest with you, my real thought was like, oh, I feel bad for Jen that she had to fake laugh at so much of my stuff.

Andrew Walsh (42:22)

I mean, listen, you and I laugh a lot on this show. It's just like literally. And I know I did this to you, what, a couple of days ago, but literally, just like saying here's a list of jokes, whether or not you're responsible for them or I will even be honest since there's a little bit of space here when you would read me tweets that you were proud of from the day before. Like, you think you're glad to be off of Twitter. I'm glad you're off of Twitter. Twitter, because I don't know how to react like, you know what I mean? Like when you're like, hey. And I know I literally did this to you the other day, and it's fine, but like, it's, it. Well, I mean, you also didn't go out of your way to do any fake laughter either.

Luke Burbank (42:54)

You know, played a rim shot for every. Did I play a rim shot?

Andrew Walsh (42:57)

Yes. And I guess, I guess I could have pulled a sound effect machine. All of my sound effect machines are starting to die. All the batteries are dead on these things. Even the spooky sound one. But anyway, point is, yeah, I just don't know how to react. And again, those were chat GPT jokes. I didn't, I wasn't even sure if they were supposed to be funny.

Luke Burbank (43:14)

Now the problem is I had a, A good list of goth bands that the Internet generated for me, and now somehow I've lost that page. So I guess we'll never know who the most goth bands are. But maybe people can just do some research.

Andrew Walsh (43:28)

Bow House pops up.

Luke Burbank (43:30)

Bow House was right there. Do you have a list in front of you now?

Andrew Walsh (43:32)

Well, I just have like whatever Google created for they have bought. How Susie and the Banshees is one that I know. The Cult. I don't know. That's not a band. The Cult. I don't know. It's. The band is the Cult.

Luke Burbank (43:44)

And, well, you know that, that Sun King song, right?

Andrew Walsh (43:46)

I don't know. I don't think so. I, I, maybe if I heard it, I'm not sure. And Sisters of Mercy is another band that I know of, but I don't know anything about. Oh, Joy Division. That seems like that.

Luke Burbank (43:58)

Oh, yeah.

Andrew Walsh (43:58)

There too. Cocteau Twins is. Am I saying that right? That was a band you liked, right?

Luke Burbank (44:02)

I hear, I actually hear a lot of that. The bands that are on this list, because I will oftentimes play a Cocteau Twins like Pandora list or something, and so it'll drag in a lot of like the Cult and the Cure and some of the Joy Division stuff like that.

Andrew Walsh (44:19)

You know what I've been listening to a little bit and I wonder if you know, more of them is Love and Rockets. Bauhaus reminded me of this because I can't remember who is it? There's Love and Rockets was a band that came out of the ashes of Bauhaus in some way. Right. At least a guitarist or somebody.

Luke Burbank (44:37)

Oh, really?

Andrew Walsh (44:37)

And you know the song by Love and Rockets? Yeah, of course.

Luke Burbank (44:41)

Don't know what color your eyes are, baby but your hair is a long and brown.

Andrew Walsh (44:45)

Exactly. I love that song. And I was listening to it. I actually just for some reason was in the mood for it. And I dialed it up on Spotify the other day and I was listening to it and I was like, why don't. Why don't I listen to the rest of this album? But then I arrived at my destination and I never had the thought again. Do you know much by Love and Rockets? Is it all that good? Because that song is great.

Luke Burbank (45:04)

You're right, by the way. Formed by former Bauhaus members Daniel Ash and David J. I think that might be the only Love and Rocket song that I can sing from memory. Because that was a big radio hit in the us, right?

Andrew Walsh (45:18)

Yeah, I think so. That's a really good song. It's one of those songs I grew up with, so I never thought about it a lot. Came out in 1989. It was just like, oh, yeah, that song's always been around. But now that it's 2025, I'm like, why aren't we talking about the rest of this record? Is it good? And I'll bet you there are people who are obsessed with it and I just don't have them in my life and I'm gonna.

Luke Burbank (45:35)

I can probably miss whatever. Whatever they were doing in the song Kundalini Express.

Andrew Walsh (45:40)

What is that a reference to? I don't.

Luke Burbank (45:42)

Well, Kundalini is a. Like a kind of. I think a. Like a yogic, like a yoga term. And it has to do with a certain kind of. I'm sorry to the people out there that know yoga and I'm sort of butchering this. The reason that I. What I always think of with Kundalini is once when we were all in Hawaii for somebody's wedding and many of us were staying in hotels, the mummy was staying in kind of a yoga retreat, because I think it was a more reasonably priced place called the Banyan Tree. Remember we had those people on the show? You were on the show in those days, right? No, I don't think so, Benjamin. In a miracle. This was before your time.

Andrew Walsh (46:21)

Well, I don't know if it was before my time. Keep in mind that when I first started as kind of a co host, it wasn't unusual for me to not be on on Fridays or something like that. You would bring in guests and you'd sort of like figure out what to do without me there. You're right, though. Kundalini Express is the second song that Google offers as one of their songs. So. Yeah, I'd never heard that. So you had these people on from this Banyan Tree retreat or something?

Luke Burbank (46:48)

Yes, because they were. Let's see, they Were this really quirky couple who. They did this thing called acrosage or. Which was like acrobatic massage. It was like a combination of. Like. Speaking of. Of. Of what is the. I've already forgotten. I just said it earlier in the show. Trapeze work. It was kind of like combination circus trapeze, but with massage and like yoga practice.

Andrew Walsh (47:15)

Anyway, is there a sexual element? There's gotta be a sexual element.

Luke Burbank (47:19)

Oh, well, that's the Kundalini energy engine.

Andrew Walsh (47:21)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (47:22)

That's the Kundalin. That's where. That's. That's. That's your Kundalini rising is some kind of sex thing. They kept talking about. I was like, let's talk about that less. But we went.

Andrew Walsh (47:30)

I was doing.

Luke Burbank (47:31)

I must have been still doing. I must. It wasn't one of those things where I pre taped all. I. I feel like I. For some reason. So we go out there, we're in Hawaii, and then we go to this place, the Banyan Tree. And it's just like. First of all, it's actually very beautiful. And they made this incredible breakfast of all this fresh fruit and mango and stuff. But then.

Andrew Walsh (47:48)

Is it. I'm sorry to keep interrupting, but is this the Banyan Tree? Did you say you went to Hawaii?

Luke Burbank (47:53)

Not. Not the one that's, you know, famous in the city. This is just called, like. But it's called, like, the Banyan Tree. Whatever.

Andrew Walsh (47:58)

Okay.

Luke Burbank (47:59)

I think they have a Banyan Tree. It's not the one you're thinking of or the one you're referencing. They had a. I feel like they. They made us then sit through a concert. Oh, and by the way, their names were. The guy was named Benjamin and the woman's name was A Miracle.

Andrew Walsh (48:13)

A Miracle.

Luke Burbank (48:14)

A Miracle. I don't think that was her government name. I think that may have been something she took on later. A Miracle. But I feel like they played us a song. They made us, like, kind of watch a concert or something. And then. But then. Of course. So then either. Either from Hawaii or when I got back to civilization. As if Hawaii is not civilization, basically. When I got back to doing tbtl, I remember talking about it, and then I remember finding out that they had totally listened to it. I was mortified because I was kind of roasting them a little bit in their Kundalini energy.

Andrew Walsh (48:43)

And how did they react? Or did you just hear through the grapevine or the.

Luke Burbank (48:48)

I heard through the Banyan Tree.

Andrew Walsh (48:49)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (48:51)

And I don't think that they. Luckily, I don't think that they took it particularly Badly. But it was just funny because again, this is all so long ago in my mind, but it was like they. I feel like there was. They were very like, woo, woo and kind of, you know, that sort of like everything's cool hippie. But then they also like a lot of people that I've met that are this way. They were also very uptight about a few things. And I can't remember what those things were, but whether it was that we mentioned the hotel correctly or that it was like something at the. There was a couple of things where I felt like they were being pretty serious and unchill, considering their whole vibe was just like, everything is so chill. And in my experience, that's actually not uncommon amongst people who are the first to tell you that it's like, hey, man. It's just like, it's whatever. But then it's like, hey, man, I know it's like whatever, but like if you could put your spoon in the dishwasher after you use it, like if you put it in the sink, then the water will get stuck, it will get rusty. You know what I mean? Like a person who's like allegedly very chill about everything, but it turns out they're actually kind of a little uptight.

Andrew Walsh (49:53)

Hey, man, it would really help my energy levels if you did the dishes.

Luke Burbank (49:58)

Exactly. See, I laugh at your jokes.

Andrew Walsh (50:00)

Yeah, you have to. Or paid to. Thank you, baby.

Luke Burbank (50:14)

You know, the way that I can be paid to laugh at Andrew's jokes is because this is actually my job and it's Andrew's job and it's our friend John Sklaroff's job. Because of the listener support, we have tens of listeners and up to hundreds of donors, people who. Who voluntarily send in money every month or allow money to be extracted from their bank account every month. And it pays for this whole thing. It's 100% listener supported. Thanks to folks like Laurel Price in Seattle, Washington. It's our pal, Laurel.

Andrew Walsh (50:43)

Thank you, Laurel. Long, long time and supporter.

Luke Burbank (50:48)

Also thanks to Tanya Rettinger of Renton, Washington.

Andrew Walsh (50:53)

Of Renton, Washington. I believe that is the latter district. Right.

Luke Burbank (50:57)

Did we last year, did we go around and around on if we're going with Tanya or Tanya?

Andrew Walsh (51:03)

Oh, I just assumed it was Tanya. I don't hear Tanya Tanya very often. My apologies if I'm wrong.

Luke Burbank (51:07)

You're not a Tanya Tucker head.

Andrew Walsh (51:09)

I. Can I do a quick apology to Alyssa, who I kept calling Elissa in some email yesterday. Elisa and I. For some reason, the fact that it was starting with an E instead of An A or something. I was really in my head about it. I got a note from Alyssa saying it's pronounced Alyssa. And also, I just like the David lynch version of Dune because I like it and I grew up with it. And I feel a little bit bad. Alyssa was not taking me to task, I don't think. But I do sort of feel like I came close to mansplaining why somebody shouldn't like a movie yesterday, which is not usually my vibe. So my apologies for that.

Luke Burbank (51:42)

I think I. What I was trying to say with that was not anything about, you know, Alyssa. What Alyssa should enjoy and not enjoy, just that it was interesting to me because the. The story on that movie is that a lot of people think it was a bit of a misfire for other. From people who we generally have a huge sort of appreciation for, I. E. David Lynch, Kyle McLaughlin, that whole thing. But I think it's very cool that Alyssa likes it. So.

Andrew Walsh (52:10)

Yes, I think. Also, I think the thing that threw me for a loop was I think Alyssa said something like, I'm not gonna watch the new ones because I like the old one so much. And maybe it's just because, remember, we talked about. Is it Villeneuve? I always get that wrong.

Luke Burbank (52:23)

Villano.

Andrew Walsh (52:24)

Villeno. Anyway, I was like, oh, well, maybe part of it was kind of like, oh, but you would. You wouldn't watch these new ones because you hold the first one in such high regard. Either way, it's not my business. Like what you like. Sorry about. Exactly.

Luke Burbank (52:38)

Philip Brock likes what he likes. He's in Richmond, Virginia. He likes tbtl. That's why he's donating to the show. Thank you, Phillip. Thanks to Tiffany Davis in Gig Harbor, Washington. Beautiful Gig Harbor, Washington. And then Paula Fowler checking in from Burian. We had a lot of Washington.

Andrew Walsh (52:54)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (52:56)

Strong, strong Evergreen State contingent.

Andrew Walsh (52:59)

Absolutely.

Luke Burbank (53:00)

Thanks. Paula Fowler and Burian. And then Tyler Setter checking in from Wichita, Kansas.

Andrew Walsh (53:07)

Oh, he's.

Luke Burbank (53:09)

Tyler is breaking up this. What was it? Oh, no, that's not true. Philip Brock is in Virginia. So it wasn't all. It wasn't all Washingtones. We had a. What do you call a person from Virginia? Or Virginian, I think so a Virginian. Philip is. And Tyler is down there in Wichita. Thank you so much to all of our donors. Thanks for making TBTL possible. We absolutely could not do this without you.

Andrew Walsh (53:38)

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

Luke Burbank (53:41)

Well, the top story for my life, Andrew, is that I'm. I'm running low on the Lucia Eames bowls that I purchased at Crate and Barrel on A whim, like, two or three years ago that have become, for some reason, the most essential piece of dishware. It's the most essential dishes in my entire life, practically. Do you have some. Not like a bowl you would eat cereal out of, but like a kind of a smaller, like, little bowl that you might put some peanut mms in or something like. What do you call a bowl? That's not the size again, you wouldn't eat your cereal out of it. It's not big enough for that. But it's just this kind of perfect size for when you don't want a full bowl. Full of something.

Andrew Walsh (54:27)

Is a hand bowl a thing? Because I sort of feel like I got some now. Ours are not very nice, but we have, like, a little stack actually kind of like. I'll bet you we have, like, eight of these things, maybe. And they're not, like, nice or designy in any way, but they would fit perfectly in your hand. Like, you're talking about kind of deep, you know, relatively deep. And I could totally see you putting M and Ms. In there, or grapes or your blueberries or something like that. We have so many of them because we use them, or I tend to use them for. What do you call it? Not mise en place. When you're. When you're chopping up vegetables and you put them all in. What do you call that? Where you kind of, like, mirepoix? Is that what you call it? I don't think I've ever heard that word before.

Luke Burbank (55:06)

Well, mise en place is. I think you. I think you meant mise en place.

Andrew Walsh (55:09)

Oh, is that what I meant? Where you're basically before all your carrots in one.

Luke Burbank (55:12)

That's.

Andrew Walsh (55:13)

Oh, okay. Yeah. I kind of have a tendency to do that just because of the way my brain works. Anyway, I like to. And I don't. I've traditionally been such a slow chopper and food prepper that I. So, anyway, point is, yes, I think I know the style of bowl you're talking about. Ours are not something that you would be especially interested in from a design standpoint. They're just these little plastic bowls, but they're very handy.

Luke Burbank (55:33)

I had never owned a bowl of this size before Andrew. And, you know, Beck and I were in, like, Crate and Barrel, and I was getting a few things, and I just saw these. I thought, oh, those might be useful. I like the look of them. And they are. I guess I didn't even realize this at the time, but they are technically designed by the daughter of Charles and Ray Eames. Who are kind of the like godparents of all mid century, you know, they. And Eero Saarinen. Well, there's a long list. But anyway, it's like if it's got the Eames family name on it, you know, it's probably going to be something I like. But I just bought these on a whim and they're kind of. They're different colors. There's like a red one, a blue one, a yellow one.

Andrew Walsh (56:08)

There were. What is the material?

Luke Burbank (56:11)

Pottery?

Andrew Walsh (56:11)

I don't know what like kind of stoneware kind of.

Luke Burbank (56:14)

Well, I don't know what makes something stoneware. Stoneware is not made out of stone.

Andrew Walsh (56:18)

I don't know why I said that. I assumed like I kind of think of stone. I don't know. You know, we have listeners who are actually in this field chat.

Luke Burbank (56:26)

What is stoneware?

Andrew Walsh (56:26)

I was thinking of stoneware as sort of a kind of a ceramic that almost has more of that kind of like, almost like rustic Y kind of look to it.

Luke Burbank (56:35)

These are not quite that. They're in fact they're not. I'm looking up stoneware by the way. It's pottery. So you're right, Andrew, you're in the neighborhood. I didn't mean to sound so no.

Andrew Walsh (56:42)

I don't know what I'm talking about. I want to be very, very clear about that. I was just.

Luke Burbank (56:45)

Stoneware is a little thicker, which I would be better off if these were thicker because you know where I'm going with this. Andrew. Yeah, I friggin bro. Like, I started off with like I think five of these bowls and immediately upon having them, by the way, I realized these are so useful because it turns out I don't need a full size bowl most of the time.

Andrew Walsh (57:04)

Like.

Luke Burbank (57:05)

And I am a big misemplasser because I don't know how to cook really still. And so if there's any kind of complicated recipe I what I have to do and if there's any sort of timing, like, you know what I mean? Like specific timing of things needing to go together. I cannot be trying to like chop up a half a cup of onion when I'm supposed to be folding it into the thing. I don't think you really fold onions and that's more of a baking term, but you know what I'm saying, I have to have this thing laid out all ready to go and then I execute the plan for the cooking. And these bowls are so perfect for that. And as soon as I started I had them in my house and I was like These are perfect for when I'm cooking. And then like I said, if I want to have some peanut M&M's, but I don't want to have the whole bag, put some peanut M and Ms. And go walk over to the couch, sit, watch tv. And right when I started having these bowls and using these bowls, I was like, these things are amazing. These are changing my life. This is the perfect amount of containment that I need. I thought, I wonder if I should get some more. And then I thought, don't do that. That's weird. Like, just enjoy the fact that you have them and that they're useful. And so one of them got broken in the dishwasher at some point. And then the other one that I was out sitting on my deck, I was having a sandwich and I. What did I put in? I put something in this bowl. Maybe it was black olives or something. No, it was little nally. Like they're almost cornichons. They're very small pickles and they're spicy. And they only sell them sometimes at Costco. So they're like a treat, these spicy gnally pickles. I put these spicy gnally pickles in because that's also what it's perfect for. Like, imagine you want to have like seven cornichons. It's a perfect bowl for that.

Andrew Walsh (58:43)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (58:43)

And the thing is sitting on this little table next to me on my deck, and I reach over and I bump it just wrong. And it. It's like one of those bounty ads or whatever the. The paper towel ad is when the thing's spilling in slow motion.

Andrew Walsh (58:57)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (58:58)

And I'm just like, no. As it's rotating. And then, of course, shatters into a million pieces on the. On the deck. I'm now down to, I think, one or two of these bowls and I go on Crate and Barrel and they don't sell them anymore, and they don't have them on ebay. And there are these. They've. Someone has created these crazy websites that I guess what they do if you search for something. So I'm like, Eames. I'm like, Lucia Eames Bowl, Crate and Barrel. These websites are such scams. They somehow go and find a picture of the thing you're searching for and then present it to you so it looks like you can buy it from them. I was like, oh, cool. But then you click on the picture and then you're just in some super spam hole somewhere, like a weird website that doesn't. And I. It has to be. I don't know. If it can be generated on the spot as I'm searching for it. But basically, there are no legitimate companies or ebay or anyone that are selling these bowls anymore. So I'm just sol. And it is reinforcing my unfortunate tendency towards hoarding things and amassing large amounts of things so that I'm never without things. I am now. I'm. I will never have a full complement of my Lucia, or however you say her name, Eames Bowles. And I'm very sad about it.

Andrew Walsh (60:09)

You know what I would do if I were you?

Luke Burbank (60:11)

What?

Andrew Walsh (60:11)

I would text Genevieve. Genevieve loves tracking things down. Now, she's also specifically kind of gotten into buying and reselling pottery. She's kind of got this ebay thing going on. I know that's not what this is. I just want to be very clear about that. But she just loves living in that world, and I think she loves a challenge. I love. She. I think she loves kind of finding things. I have this mug. Well, no, I don't have a mug. Genevieve has this mug that is a weird mug. It's like. You see how I'm holding my mug up here, Luke? And it's just a standard. It's just a standard mug. Right. This one happens to, say, visit Cleveland or something. You're going to love it. Vacation in Cleveland, Ohio. You're going to love it. But, you know, it's a standard mug. It's like cylinder. Right. Imagine if this mug out, the bottom of it, it was. If it was like a fancy mug that had a little pedestal on it. Can you picture that? Like, Genevieve has this kind of fancy mug that has this little pedestal on it that it sets upon. And it's a white mug, and it's a little bit delicate, and the only image on it is a black and white image of the bottom of Abraham Lincoln's face. It is so weird. It doesn't see anything.

Luke Burbank (61:17)

I've seen that mug.

Andrew Walsh (61:17)

Yeah. And I think a friend got it for her somewhat randomly. It just is a weird mug. It was just sort of like. It's very strange. Why is it just like the chin of Abraham Lincoln? It's not in that shape. Why is it sort of a kind of a little fancy mug? I don't know. But Genevieve has been drinking out of it forever now. Probably for over 10 years. Definitely over 10 years.

Luke Burbank (61:38)

And I must have seen it at your house.

Andrew Walsh (61:40)

Yeah. You must have been the place I saw it. Yeah. This must have come up, because for me, it always represents disaster. Like, Genevieve loves this mug so much, but it is un. It's irreplaceable. I would say. I was going to say unfindable, but, yeah, it's got to be irreplaceable. Like, I don't. So I've taken so many photos of this mug for the day that I accidentally break it. But mostly I don't even wash it anymore. I told Genevieve, like, I'm just not even gonna. Because our sink is so unforgiving. We have one of those porcelain sinks, and they're just so unforgiving. It doesn't even have a good flat bottom. The sink doesn't. So if you set something in there, I'm always telling Genevieve, please do not set glasses in the sink. They're gonna tip over, and they're gonna crack the second they even get in close contact with the sink. And so anyway, I always just look at this mug, and I'm always like, one of these days, I'm going to be on that subreddit called Help me Find, and I'm going to be saying, please help me find this mug that I broke. I've been tempted to do that before it breaks. Like, why not just buy it now and have it as a backup?

Luke Burbank (62:40)

That. See, that's very Brabankian of you. And I wish I would have had that sort of foresight with these bowls.

Andrew Walsh (62:45)

I'm not joking. I think Genevieve could help you with this. That's not a very fun.

Luke Burbank (62:48)

I'm going to send her a picture.

Andrew Walsh (62:49)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (62:51)

Because you know me, I'm not, like, for stuff like this. Generally speaking, I wouldn't usually be an ebay boy. Like, I wouldn't buy dishes from ebay, but I don't care. I want this. I'll just wash them when they get here. You know what I mean? So I was actually a little surprised it's not on ebay, because I feel like everything is on ebay. I'm shocked at the stuff that people have the temerity to list on ebay.

Andrew Walsh (63:12)

Yeah, well, I think a lot of is resell now, too. Right? Like, is it even used like, it used to be? I think a lot of it, because Genevieve's been buying a lot of ebay stuff trying to get off of Amazon, and then she ends up getting stuff from ebay that is basically somebody just bought it on Amazon and sent it to her and probably made 30 extra cents off of it.

Luke Burbank (63:30)

I had this thing happen with Home Depot the other day that I'm, like, totally confused by, which was like, I bought some. I went on their website, and I bought this lattice which is, you know, it's like plastic and it's for the areas underneath my deck because the deck is high up off the ground. And so it looks a little nice and a little nicer and more finished off when you kind of basically put up some screening that's kind of, you know, on the. On the lower part of the deck. That's just the support beams. And like, I go on a Home Depot website and I buy this stuff and it's going to be shipped out to me. And then I start getting these, all these messages from some company in Michigan that I've actually bought it from that's like such and such outdoors. And then FedEx is constantly telling, giving me status reports on where this stuff is and that it's on its way and that it's from. And I'm like, it's not even a Home Depot product. Like. Like, it's not even. It's weird. I feel like Home Depot never even had anything to do with this other than I bought it through the Home Depot website. Like, Home Depot is not telling me they're sending me anything. It's this company in Michigan telling me, hey, we're sending you your. And it's like such and such outdoor equipment or whatever. Like, I guess there must be these deals that are going on with, you know, something like Home Depot, where they just basically tell this company, we'll sell your thing. You mail it to this guy Luke, and you handle it after he buys it through. It's weird. It's like. It's almost like, stop being a Home Depot purchase. And now it's me dealing with this company in Michigan.

Andrew Walsh (64:49)

By the way, speaking of, I have no more updates about coffee later with my scammer date. Trails gone cold again.

Luke Burbank (64:58)

You blew it again, Andrew.

Andrew Walsh (64:59)

Where did I leave? Where do we leave things?

Luke Burbank (65:01)

Yeah, what was the last? That's what I also don't understand. When they. When the trail goes cold on you, it's like in the words of Maya Rudolph pretending to be Dionne Warwick. I think, to what end? To what end?

Andrew Walsh (65:15)

Okay, well, actually, this time I did drop it. I said, sounds good. Meet at the usual place? They said, yes. You and your husband still together or something? Are you and your husband together? Not still together. So I don't know if that meant, like, are we traveling together? I said, it's complicated. We can talk about it later. And then they said, it doesn't matter. After you go to the bank, take your husband with you. Should I just write. Will do. Yes, I'm ready.

Luke Burbank (65:39)

I Want to make sure.

Andrew Walsh (65:41)

Okay. That one was on me, I guess. I didn't. I did. I kind of went cold on them, and I don't want to go cold on them.

Luke Burbank (65:46)

Are you familiar with Maya Rudolph as Dionne Warwick on Unbreakable? Kimmy Schmidt?

Andrew Walsh (65:53)

It rings a bell. I watched all. Well, I watched the first three seasons, so I wouldn't have guessed it was on Kimmy Schmidt, though, because I. I.

Luke Burbank (66:01)

Forgot that that was. It seems like it would be like a 30 rock thing or something, but it was the concert for exits 1 through 82. I think this might have been like a turnpike, like a Jersey thing or something. I don't know how this audio is gonna be, but I'm playing just a little bit of this.

Andrew Walsh (66:15)

Hurricane Tammy with an Eye has already ravaged.

Luke Burbank (66:18)

Okay, I want to find a better version of this.

Andrew Walsh (66:19)

I actually kind of liked how weird that audio.

Luke Burbank (66:21)

Okay, fine.

Andrew Walsh (66:22)

Sounded like it's from a different era.

Luke Burbank (66:23)

So there's a hurricane that is coming to New York, and it's Hurricane Tammy with an I. So they're doing a fundraiser for it, and Dionne Warwick is the celebrity performer as played by Maya Rudolph.

Andrew Walsh (66:34)

One of the most beautiful parts of New Jers, the Solstice Sunglasses Outlet. The Maurice Pierre Wild Mouse Ride. Frank and Maria Spinelli's gorgeous marble deck. So call the number on your screen while I sing this lost gem that was written exclusively for me by one Mr. Burt Bacharach. She's alive.

Luke Burbank (66:56)

Oh, this is how Titus finds out that he didn't kill on a ship, Right? Dion Warwick. He thought he ate Dionne Warwick, I think.

Andrew Walsh (67:03)

Was it on a ship?

Luke Burbank (67:04)

I thought that, yeah, they were on a cruise ship, and then they were on a boat together. And then he. He had eaten Dionne Warwick. So he's been carrying the trauma that he killed Dionne Warwick around with him until he sees her in this telethon. But what I love is when she says when she's talking about something with, like, the Chinese and President Xi. Let me see if we can get to this part.

Andrew Walsh (67:25)

He's over $200,000, five cars for kids, and a ten foot party hoagie with extra gaba ghoul to take that Hurricane Demi with an. Hold on warming is a hoax. Oh, here we go. Here we go. You know, some people say global warming is a hoax perpetrated by the Chinese. But I say, show me the receipts, because why would Gian Ping want to flood my basement and rust my boat flex? To what end? To what end?

Luke Burbank (67:56)

Why you want to flood my basement and Rust my boat flex.

Andrew Walsh (68:00)

That is.

Luke Burbank (68:01)

To what end? To what end?

Andrew Walsh (68:03)

You know, I. That reminds me, earlier this summer, I think I don't know where I was or if it was just an algorithm suggesting a song to me. It might have even been somebody on Blueski just posting this awesome album cover of an old Dionne Warwick album. And kind of not unsimilar to my feelings about love and rockets. I'm like, yeah, why haven't I gotten more into Dionne Warwick? And I was listening to this one album, I'm blanking the name of it on the name of it right now to it doesn't matter. But then I was just kinda like, yeah, Dionne Warwick, this is gonna be my Dion Warwick phase. And then later that night I was indeed digitizing old VHS tapes that I found at a garage sale. And what did I find? And I've posted this on the after these messages YouTube channel, by the way, a full half hour Dionne Warwick Psychic Friends Network. And I kind of forgot that more people kind of know her as a bit of a kook than actually this like 1970s era singer. Right. Like her reputation, I don't know if her reputation really survived this weird time. And I. You would love this thing, by the way, this. The format of the Psychic Friends Network half hour special, it goes. They have built in little like pre recorded sketches and then she's like talking live on stage in front of an audience and they have some like really cringy actor from a, from a soap opera here. I'm just gonna hit play on this.

Luke Burbank (69:21)

The cunning and resourceful attorney Scott Baldwin.

Andrew Walsh (69:25)

Having appeared in countless films, many series and movies of the week. He also has a sense of humor.

Luke Burbank (69:31)

Matched only by his brother. Will. Please welcome Mr. Ken Shriner.

Andrew Walsh (69:36)

You know who Ken Shriner is?

Luke Burbank (69:39)

No.

Andrew Walsh (69:39)

Looks like a very, very down market. Who was in Die Hard.

Luke Burbank (69:47)

Bruce Willis.

Andrew Walsh (69:47)

Bruce Willis. And what was Bruce Willis phase where he was sort of a musician. He was wearing kind of like loose fitting suits and an open, open collar shirt.

Luke Burbank (69:57)

Yeah, that was a big story in the early days of this show when Bruce Willis was, was really into his music. And he did Seagram's Golden Rain Cooler ad.

Andrew Walsh (70:06)

Yeah, right, right. So he's dressed like that era, this soap opera actor and he's going to be really cynical here. They're bringing him in to be like, I don't believe. Fellas, have you ever had a psychic experience? Well, I have never had a psychic experience, so I've been very skeptical of psychics and the whole thing. I had this Girlfriend who was gonna go see a psychic a couple of.

Luke Burbank (70:29)

Months ago, you know, and I said, don't go.

Andrew Walsh (70:33)

No good can come of it. You know, it's a bunch of hooey. You know, it's only gonna be bad. Something's gonna happen. And. And she went and the psychic told.

Luke Burbank (70:42)

Her, you know, get rid of me.

Andrew Walsh (70:45)

Oh boy. You should see. This is exactly like your stat.

Luke Burbank (70:48)

I'm watching it by the way.

Andrew Walsh (70:49)

Chat GPT. Stand up. By the way, he. Are you seeing what he's doing with his hands and everything? At one point he like runs his hands through his hair. Have you this about eight minutes into this video, if we're watching the same one, the one that I had posted. But he, he's got a lot of weird kinetic energy about him.

Luke Burbank (71:06)

It's also. His name is spelled K I N, which is really unsettling.

Andrew Walsh (71:10)

Yes, yes.

Luke Burbank (71:11)

I thought I don't believe. And then I don't believe in the name Kin as Ken.

Andrew Walsh (71:15)

Ken Shriner. Ken Shriner. Anyway, what were we talking about?

Luke Burbank (71:19)

His parents were really. His brother was named Will Shriner. W I, L, not, you know, two Ls. Like, his parents were really in on keeping the. Keep it first name, three letters.

Andrew Walsh (71:30)

Yeah. Why waste ink?

Luke Burbank (71:32)

There's a right way to rock and.

Andrew Walsh (71:35)

A wrong way to roll. You can't just listen to, to your soul. Just remember that life is number one. You can be having so much fun. Just remember that life is much fun. You can be nothing but. I have to play the heavy here today, Luke. I hate to do it and I hate myself for doing stuff like that, but I made a promise to you and the listeners a long time ago that I would keep the Blurs Day segment contained to just birthdays, human birthdays at that. We occasionally will get folks who want to say wish a happy anniversary to somebody or some other big occasion in their life or they want to wish a happy birthday to their family pets. And I mean, this segment I think would get out of control pretty, pretty quickly. So to the person who sent in a very, very sweet half birthday message to a family member. I'm sorry, we are skipping that this week. I know it sounds. It sounds jerky, but if I do a half birthday today, then I'm going to have a bunch of half birthdays next week. And I just got it.

Luke Burbank (72:55)

I see.

Andrew Walsh (72:55)

Stick to my guns. These are human birthday celebrations.

Luke Burbank (73:00)

I see. So. So I was confused. I thought it was. The message was half of a birthday celebration and half something else. You're saying they were celebrating that it's the half birthday.

Andrew Walsh (73:09)

Yeah, yeah. And that's a very sweet thing, and I encourage you to do celebrate that.

Luke Burbank (73:15)

On your own time.

Andrew Walsh (73:18)

But seriously, see, I laugh at my own jokes. If you do want to celebrate somebody's birthday, maybe even your own, you can email me andrewbtl.net and put Blurs Day in the subject line. Luke, our dear friend Hauser, whom I miss, by the way. Hauser, haven't seen you in a minute. J dog, as Luke likes to call you. I miss you, buddy. Houser has a message here that says, to Anna, a very happy blurs to you. Thank you for being one of the only tens I can make TBTL jokes with memes that make my day and for being the best mom Donna could ever ask for. I love you and I'm so grateful for you. Happy blursday, Anna. Also a real friend, although I've seen Anna recently. Just saw Anna last weekend. Good to see you. Happy blursday, Anna. Got another one here. It says, ahoy hoy. And happy blursday to Christine in Santa Fe from your book club friendos, Cecilia in Atlanta and Kathy in Olympia. Thank you for keeping our virtual get togethers going, which have also evolved into a text chain about the Mariners, soccer and a general TBTL discussion. See you win. Ooh, it looks like Christine is leading the next book club. By the way, that is September 14th at 4:00pm Eastern, if anybody's interested. All right. Go eat a bagel. Mm. Mm. I'm not saying that. That's what Cecilia and Kathy were saying to Christine. Go eat a bagel. Adrian says, I want to wish my husband Lee a very happy 50th birthday.

Luke Burbank (74:59)

I'm not looking at you. I'm looking at my sound effects.

Andrew Walsh (75:02)

Wow.

Luke Burbank (75:02)

Did you just. Did I hear a bang there? Did you just get jumped on by another cat?

Andrew Walsh (75:06)

Oh, no, I don't think so. I don't know what.

Luke Burbank (75:07)

Okay.

Andrew Walsh (75:08)

I don't know what I'm just hearing. I didn't hear anything. But I'll go back to the tape later. Yep. Might be haunted. Might be haunted tape. But this is Adrian saying happy birthday to Lee. And this is our pal Lee. Adrian says you may know him as a Seattle cyclist. Yeah, we know him as. He's a. He's generally a TV tale celebrity around these parts. You may know him as a Seattle cyclist and advocate for safety. He is also a great father, husband, son, friend, and good person to all. We love him very much and want him to know how much we care about him as. As he celebrates the Big five zero. Happy blursday, buddy.

Luke Burbank (75:44)

You see what I did there, Andrew?

Andrew Walsh (75:45)

What'd you say? What'd you do?

Luke Burbank (75:48)

Cascade Bicycle Club.

Andrew Walsh (75:49)

Oh, the ringing bell.

Luke Burbank (75:51)

Yeah, the bike bell.

Andrew Walsh (75:53)

It kind of sounds a little bit like your deathbell, but different.

Luke Burbank (75:57)

I paid extra for that just for Lee.

Andrew Walsh (75:59)

Oh, nice. Gotta use it.

Luke Burbank (76:00)

Gotta get your money's worth amortized.

Andrew Walsh (76:03)

Starts to pay for itself after about a thousand rings.

Luke Burbank (76:06)

Yep. So we just have 993 more.

Andrew Walsh (76:12)

Let's knock that. We want to knock it out tomorrow on the show. Tune in for that. By the way, Lee, celebrating the big five zero, as Adrian says. Lee also writes in not to wish himself a happy birthday, though, to spread the love, instead wishing a happy birthday to my cabin neighborhood. Brian G. It was great to learn that you were a 10 after we became friends. Since you won't let me pay for gas in the boat, the least I can do is get you a TBTL shout out. So this is cool. They have cabins and their neighbors at.

Luke Burbank (76:47)

The cabin, and they both listen to tbtl.

Andrew Walsh (76:50)

Yes.

Luke Burbank (76:51)

That's incredible.

Andrew Walsh (76:52)

That's pretty exciting.

Luke Burbank (76:54)

Also, can we go in the boat?

Andrew Walsh (76:56)

I wonder if Lee was bumping some TBTL on the boat porch or something.

Luke Burbank (76:59)

Around as people are want to do.

Andrew Walsh (77:01)

Yeah, well, I told you that. You know that. That happened to me one time right before I was on the show. But I was friends with you, but I was at Capitol Hill, and I was grilling outside in that little front yard we had. I was playing tbtl, and a neighbor who I'd never spoken to before, never even seen before, came rushing out, said, is Luke Burbank here? And I said, no, I'm listening to tbt. He's like, I listen to tbt. I'm like, he's a friend of mine. And then he didn't respond. He just walked away like a scammer.

Luke Burbank (77:26)

Well, who got the last laugh?

Andrew Walsh (77:28)

Now you work here. Exactly.

Luke Burbank (77:29)

You have to laugh at my jokes.

Andrew Walsh (77:31)

That's right. Now we're friends with benefits, and the benefit is I get to do a podcast with them. You know, it's funny. I was telling that story like it's totally removed. I mean, there is a. I've told that story before, though, and I've never heard from that person. I mean, there is a chance that if this person was listening back in 2011, they could still be listening now. Were you a neighbor of mine on Capitol Hill? Bill says, I. And I'm sure tens more of us would love to wish Mr. John Takamoto a very happy blursday. And many more. We got you talk. See, I did make an exception to a rule there. I never read last names. I don't know if you noticed that I always go with first name only, but John Takamoto. That's how you say the whole thing. Known entity and longtime friend and digital producer for tbc.

Luke Burbank (78:20)

Yes, that's right. Unpaid digital producer. And I'll mention one time, Goatman.

Andrew Walsh (78:27)

Oh, that's right. Exactly. Oh, Goatsy. Rachel says I want to send a happy Blurs day shout out to my husband, James. He's 43 today. You'll never meet a more kind, considerate, good human. James has been training all summer and is going to to run his first big race on Saturday. It's the eight mile run around Mackinac Island. I'm so proud of you, James. You've been working so hard, and it's going to be a great time. I mispronounced it, didn't I?

Luke Burbank (79:00)

That's one of them.

Andrew Walsh (79:02)

Yeah. Right. With the music. I said Mac. It's fun to say Mackinac.

Luke Burbank (79:08)

I do. I don't know why they didn't go with Mackinac. It's more fun to say than Mackinaw, But I think we had. Yeah, because of the peaches, right?

Andrew Walsh (79:15)

Yeah, I think you're right. This has happened before. I'm looking it up.

Luke Burbank (79:20)

But in fairness to you, that's a. That's a tricky one if you're not from that part of Michigan.

Andrew Walsh (79:25)

I had to play in the background because the music is. Yeah, yeah, I got you. See, they both go up at the same time. You know. You know how audio works.

Luke Burbank (79:34)

Somewhat. All the listeners might debate that.

Andrew Walsh (79:38)

Thanks for catching that, by the way. There was something. There was something in this. I was saying.

Luke Burbank (79:42)

There's an email.

Andrew Walsh (79:43)

Yes, exactly. All right. Tina says, Happy 10th Blursday to my five and lover of honeydew Carter in Lake Forest Park.

Luke Burbank (79:50)

Oh, we found another Honeydew fan.

Andrew Walsh (79:52)

Yes, we did. I appreciate you supporting my TBTL habit as you are an expert in time well spent since You've attended about 20 Mariners games this season.

Luke Burbank (80:03)

Oh, nice.

Andrew Walsh (80:04)

How you doing, Carter?

Luke Burbank (80:05)

Yeah, well, Carter's probably fine because we play okay at home.

Andrew Walsh (80:10)

Yeah, it's true.

Luke Burbank (80:11)

We just absolutely stink on ice when we're on the road.

Andrew Walsh (80:14)

I told you, this is not. This is so not appropriate for the Blurs Day segment and frankly, not really appropriate for TBTL at all. But I had told you. So explain that. That. And I know you don't love negative predictions. I just had this weird Feeling that the Mariners were gonna probably drop two out of three to the Cleveland Guardians. Having said. And so as they were doing exactly that, I was texting you and kind of saying, I know you don't like these predictions.

Luke Burbank (80:39)

That didn't bother me, by the way, just so you know.

Andrew Walsh (80:40)

But I will say this, and I don't think we got into this on the text message, which is why I want to tell you now. The second part of that was I thought we were going to sweep Tampa Bay. I thought we were going to take at least two, if not sweep Tampa Bay. That's why I was, like, really bummed about Cleveland, but also was like, well, we'll salvage. Yeah, we'll make it up. This was an absolute implosion, and I can't figure out who to blame at this point. I mean, yes, we should have gotten some bullpen help at the trade deadline, but we have a lineup. We have the lineup that I. Right now. They're just not doing anything. What happened, Luke? Is it the uniform? Is it the curse?

Luke Burbank (81:16)

I don't know what's going on with our pitching. Honestly, I don't think it's even the hitting so much. It's the. It's true. I mean, that it's like. And. And, you know, Castillo, four or five bad starts in a row. Kirby looks bad. Ferguson is turd. Ferguson, just awful.

Andrew Walsh (81:31)

I have no idea.

Luke Burbank (81:32)

He's just absolutely abysmal. I don't know if that's a. That's a. A swing and a miss by Jerry Depot.

Andrew Walsh (81:38)

Yeah.

Luke Burbank (81:38)

You go out and get this guy at the deadline, and then he's just absolutely. Just horrible. And it's like. It's like, contagious, bro. It's really. It's really, really contagious, bro. Because now it's like, even Munoz, in order to get a save, it seems like he generally has to load the bases and. Same thing with Brash. Like, our pitching staff has, like, some sort of. What do they call that when it's like a. Like a whole school gets, like, kind of a hysterical contagion?

Andrew Walsh (82:05)

Like a whole square classroom disappears except for one student.

Luke Burbank (82:09)

Kind of like that, actually. Have we considered what. Is Aunt Gladys left your right?

Andrew Walsh (82:13)

That's right.

Luke Burbank (82:14)

I mean, think how menacing that would be. She comes into pitch. Honestly, that's. You know, if I'm a hitter, that's gonna. That's honestly gonna mess up my rhythm.

Andrew Walsh (82:22)

Maybe she just snapped a twig and took all the talent away from our starting rotation, apparently, because you can't. That's kind of what I'm getting at. We're just going to get into this a little bit. We're not even. Even done with Tina's message, by the way. But the thing is, is, like in the past, you can always be mad at ownership for not spending more or Jerry Topoto for not making the right decisions. And the one critique after the deadline was they could have done a little bit more to bolster the bullpen. I don't know if I pronounced either of those words right, but we had one of the best starting rotations in baseball. We didn't need to bolster that at all. And now, and even the Castillo example you gave, I sort of feel like his pattern is sort of on par with last year, too, which is he gets off to a rocky start, might give up some runs, but then does settle in. Lock has always sort of been his thing. But Logan going two innings, Kirby going two innings and giving up 10 hits yesterday. Like, what is happening? I think you're onto something. I think this is absolutely an Aunt Gladys thing. It's gotta be. It's a curse.

Luke Burbank (83:25)

I mean, I.

Andrew Walsh (83:26)

Where.

Luke Burbank (83:27)

This is what. This is the emotional journey that I tend to go on. Like, so they. They are losing games. So then I stop watching the games because I feel like I will. I'll re. I'll fix the mojo if. Because it seems like when I don't watch the game, they win. So some. So I will like. And also, I just. It's too emotionally traumatic for me to kind of hang with every pitch. So. So I will. So I didn't watch yesterday's game. I just looked at on the MLB app, and of course yesterday's game was a laugher because they were like immediately down by a ton of runs. But then the next thing I started thinking was, well, I guess I'm gonna get my September back. Like, I guess I'm just not gonna have to worry about if the Mariners are playing. Like, I had the Houston series on my calendar. Yeah, I put it on my actual, like, outlook calendar so that I wouldn't make too many other plans because my hope was that we would be like tied for first and we'd go in and sweep them and we'd have like a three game lead. Like now I'm like, I guess I just don't have to worry about that. But then I'm sad because I like worrying about it. Like, it's. I try to tell myself that, well, this is great. This means that I don't have to spend any time with the Mariners anymore. But I actually don't like that outcome because I like spending time with them when they're winning. It makes me. It's something fun for me to look forward to. So really, that's not. That's not making it better for me.

Andrew Walsh (84:38)

And often for me, my expectations are always so low with the Mariners. I never rooted for them during a winning season until, like, somewhat recently or at least a season that. That went into the postseason. But I always was like, but I like baseball. I like the Mariners. I'm going to watch. I'm going to even just sort of like, hope springs eternal. This. Even if we were, like, kind of out of the picture by. By this time of year, but being a team that really should be killing it and looking like a postseason team. And like, just. I was walking yesterday and just remembering, just started sobbing. Yes. Like, all of the national baseball correspondents were on talk radio, not even local radio. I was listening on national podcasts. Them just saying, like, the Mariners nailed it. That this is the Mariners year and for the Mariners. And I can't figure out what it is other than, as I told you, like, a fear of success. Because, like, I don't know. I don't know what's going on. They're totally imploding for no real discernible reason other than, I mean, yes, there's bullpen issues, but there are issues in the first two innings yesterday that no bullpen can fix. So I don't know what's going on. It must be a fear of success. But the important thing is, yes, Carter's birthday in no T. It's not Tina's birthday, but it's her 5 Carter's birthday.

Luke Burbank (85:50)

In Lake Forest Park.

Andrew Walsh (85:51)

Carter has attended 20 Mariners games this season. Oh, right.

Luke Burbank (85:55)

This is your fault that we got on this subject.

Andrew Walsh (85:57)

I am going to one next week, by the way. I'll tell you more about that later. Congrats on catching two fish on your birthday camping trip. Love you, bud. From Mom. And finally, Amanda says, I'd like to Wish A happy 51st birthday to dazzling donor and my TBTL mommy, Tiffany, who left me jealous and bereft as she moved back to her happy place in Vienna recently.

Luke Burbank (86:25)

Oh, Austria, I guess. Virginia.

Andrew Walsh (86:28)

It might be New Vienna in Massachusetts. No, I'm guessing.

Luke Burbank (86:34)

Is there a new Vienna?

Andrew Walsh (86:35)

No, I don't think so. Spoofing. ChatGPT gave me that joke. Since we formed our rebellious duo in the halls of a Hicktown High School 36 years ago, Tiffany has understood me like no other. And I wish her all the joy and success she can handle this year and beyond. Happy blurs day to Tiffany. And that is where we are leading the blurs day segment today. I like the way we sneak a little. No point in the middle. Not even just during the blurs days, but during a specific blurs day segment.

Luke Burbank (87:04)

It's a compliment sandwich. It is familiar with the compliment sandwich.

Andrew Walsh (87:08)

You give a put up and then you give a little bit of constructive.

Luke Burbank (87:10)

Criticism and you do another put up.

Andrew Walsh (87:12)

And then you do another.

Luke Burbank (87:12)

So we do the blurs days. Everyone's loving it. Then we sneak in a little doom and gloom and then we finish off with another blurs day about someone who moved to Vienna, possibly even European.

Andrew Walsh (87:23)

Wait a second, I'm stopping the music. Can we go?

Luke Burbank (87:26)

Can we stop the tape?

Andrew Walsh (87:27)

Literally do literally maybe five minutes or less on another thing I have that is sports related.

Luke Burbank (87:33)

Yes.

Andrew Walsh (87:33)

I just want to know where you are and it's not even really about the sports games themselves. I want to know where you are.

Luke Burbank (87:39)

Today in the toray discourse.

Andrew Walsh (87:41)

No, no. I will catch up on that podcast and know you want me to, but no. Today is the first day of the NFL season. You know, Thursday night football kicks off tonight. I believe it's the. What is it? The Eagles and the Cowboys. I want to say something like that.

Luke Burbank (87:56)

I got an update on my phone that said NFL from fubo. NFL kicks off tonight. And then I clicked on the thing and then it was taking forever to load so that I just X'd out of it. So I actually don't know who's playing tonight.

Andrew Walsh (88:07)

So. Interesting. I thought I had a feeling. And the reason I'm asking this is because as we had that baseball conversation, like, I've been reluctant to embrace the football season. I was actually very surprised. I saw Ders a couple of weeks ago and I said, how you doing vis a vis your emotional state in the Seattle Mariners? He's like, I'm just on to football now. I just care about football now. Like, screw these guys. And I was like, oh, that's interesting. I first of all, I would assume that he liked baseball more than football. I think I'm just straight up wrong about that. For me, it's kind of like as the baseball season winds to an end, I feel kind of glum about that. But where the Mariners got me right now, they got me so angry and sad that I'm kind of like, well, maybe I should get excited about this, about this damn football season. I just wasn't sure if you were, like, going to, like, I don't have Amazon prime anymore, so I can't even really watch the game unless I try to watch it illegally.

Luke Burbank (88:56)

But the stream east is still up, though, right?

Andrew Walsh (88:58)

No, that's why I sent that to you today. I wasn't sure it was. Because it cannot be a coincidence that this international investigation just pulled down the largest streamer two days ago, I want to say, right before the football season. And now this is a streamer that streams all kinds of international sports illegally. We can't get into that. Maybe we can get into it tomorrow. But I was kind of like, boy, I don't know. I'm sort of half in, half out on football. I kind of have a little bit of like, ooh, football begins tonight. But then I'm also like, oh, for the first time in a long time, I gotta, like, get a laptop, see if I can find an illegal stream, hook it up to my tv, and for that I'm probably out. I don't know. Where are you? That's my point.

Luke Burbank (89:41)

Well, the other day I did go, speaking of calendars, I went and I entered every single Seahawk game into my calendar and the time of day. So if it's an east coast game or a West coast game, or if it's the Sunday night game or whatever, that's usually when I start to get excited because I start to look at those dates and think, I wonder how they'll be doing by this point or whatever. I definitely am like, I think I'm irrational. In the words of Alan Greenspan, who we quote so often on this show, I am probably a little irrationally exuberant about them because the narrative is that they're not gonna be good or very good. I mean, a lot of people are saying that they are not a particularly, on paper, particularly strong team, mostly because of questions about their quarterback and also their receivers. And I just am looking at this glass as half full and thinking, well, yeah, but our offensive line is better and maybe that'll help Sam Darnold be good. And if our defense gets way better, it doesn't even really matter about your offense because, like, our defense ended the season very strong. So I am actually not going to watch tonight's game because we have. I have a Livewire event in Silver Falls Park. I'm going to a concert called In a Landscape where this guy's playing classical music in the middle of the field, and then I'm interviewing him afterwards. So I can't watch tonight's game. If I were home, I would totally watch tonight's game.

Andrew Walsh (90:58)

Yeah, that's what you're. If you're kind of like, I'll get my chips and guac or whatever you.

Luke Burbank (91:02)

I would if I. If my schedule permitted it. What I'll probably do is tape it. Is it on Amazon prime, though?

Andrew Walsh (91:07)

It is on prime, so you don't have to tape it. You can just go back and watch it. Because you have Amazon prime still, right?

Luke Burbank (91:11)

I do. Right.

Andrew Walsh (91:12)

Yeah. So it should be on demand for it. Can I also, speaking of tech stuff, I don't know if you use Google Calendar. I use G Calendar. Google Calendar, whatever it is. Maybe use a different one. But for all of my sports stuff, usually there's a plug in. Like, you don't have to go in and add everything. I know that thing.

Luke Burbank (91:26)

Okay, there totally is. But for some, it's my ritual.

Andrew Walsh (91:29)

I.

Luke Burbank (91:30)

Totally silly.

Andrew Walsh (91:31)

Cool. I totally have. It's a way of sort of processing it. Right? Processing the information, getting excited for it. Dude, I totally understand that because I.

Luke Burbank (91:39)

Accidentally hit whatever button I like. I shared my calendar with, like, the Mariners one year calendar. I was like, damn, there's a lot of games. Yeah.

Andrew Walsh (91:45)

Like, yeah.

Luke Burbank (91:46)

All of a sudden I'm just like, well, it's 162. We know that much. But yes. Yeah, definitely. There's an easier way to do it, but it's my little bizarre, you know, getting ready ritual. And then. And then for this Sunday, when you're going to be, I think, having a kind of a classic football Sunday, right?

Andrew Walsh (92:00)

Yeah, I took off. Yeah.

Luke Burbank (92:02)

I am doing the opposite, which is I'm actually doing another livewire event at Domain Druin Winery, and I am going to try the absolute impossible, which is not find out the outcome of the game. By the way, that Fubo thing we did did not work.

Andrew Walsh (92:16)

What Fubo thing did we do?

Luke Burbank (92:17)

You talked me through. Or making it so that it does not show me the score when I am taping on Fubo and I set all the permissions the way that I was supposed to. And like yesterday when I turned on the TV to watch something else, it showed me I was going to watch Chris's show and it showed me that the Mariners were being recorded, that they were losing 90 or something or whatever.

Andrew Walsh (92:37)

Now, this doesn't make sense, and it shouldn't be this way, but I do remember asking you, are you sure that if you do this your computer, that it'll follow you to your tv? You might want to look at your TV settings on Fubo.

Luke Burbank (92:47)

Yeah, I guess I will. I guess I assumed because really, what am I doing? I'm just going to a website whether.

Andrew Walsh (92:52)

It should work that way, but it's not.

Luke Burbank (92:53)

Yeah, let me. Let me double check that. Let me. Let me try that on the old. On the old TV as well.

Andrew Walsh (92:58)

But anyway, so, yeah, five minutes. We did it.

Luke Burbank (93:00)

But guess what, Guess what. We're not at the weekend yet because we have one more episode of TBTL this week, and it will happen tomorrow. So we do hope you all can come back and hang out with us for that.

Andrew Walsh (93:09)

That.

Luke Burbank (93:09)

In the meantime, everybody, have a great Thursday. Take care of yourselves. Maybe I'll see some of you down at Silver Falls park tonight. For the rest of you, have a great Thursday, and please remember, no Mountain too Tall.

Andrew Walsh (93:18)

And good luck to all. Power out.