TBTL – Episode #4600: "Clear And Present Daisy" (November 18, 2025)

Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

Episode Overview

This episode of TBTL features Luke reporting live from Washington, D.C., musing on life in the nation's capital amidst heavy security, and riffing with Andrew about cat massage videos, anxious pets, and the struggle between corporate customer service policies and human nature. The pair also detour into current events, from Seattle’s new mayor and the White House’s security lockdown, to Target’s new forced-smiling policy, and a tequila labeling lawsuit against Costco. Listener communications about video games and the art of Thanksgiving (Joan Didion style) also make an appearance. Throughout, Luke and Andrew maintain their classic warm, rambling, and irreverent TBTL tone.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Cat Massage, Pet Personalities, and Listener Nostalgia (00:06–12:16)

• Opening Soundbite: A vintage instructional video from Mary Jean Ballner on "cat massage" sets a whimsical tone.
  • “Cat massage is the easiest way to produce a cat’s smile and is a reliable source for cat giggles. Listen closely for cat giggles.” – Mary Jean Ballner, [00:06]
• Listener Reference: Andrew credits a listener for resurrecting this deep-cut TBTL gem.
• Pet Talk:
  • Andrew suspects his cat, Bingo, is only affectionate for the sake of Andrew’s office chair, not Andrew himself, and shares a recurring, comically vexing scenario: Bingo sneakily tickles his exposed foot in the early morning, seemingly for Andrew’s reaction.
    • “I think he just... He's like, oh, let's push the button and watch the big guy freak out.” – Andrew, [06:39]
  • Luke relates with stories about Bubbles, a neurotic, easily startled cat, who is becoming marginally more tolerant with age.
    • "It's like she's never had a relaxed moment in her life that I can. And I was like, I mean, I guess they make gummies for animals, right?" – Luke, [09:23]
  • Both reflect on cat personalities and regrets over not engaging more with former pets, tying into human relationships.
    • "I don't regret broad swaths of my behavior... Although I do look back at all of the times Theo would want to sit on my lap... and now I would kill to have that cat begging for some snuggles now." – Andrew, [10:17]

2. Life in D.C.: Security Theater, Authority, and Dislocation (12:16–20:36)

• Luke's D.C. Observations:
  • He loves the city's vibrancy and restaurant scene, but is frustrated by what feels like an aggressive “police state”—constant security presence, roadblocks, and officials unable to explain closures.
    • “Everywhere you go, there are, like, barriers that are set up... and no one has any idea why they're doing any of it. It feels extremely... Feels really like a police state.” – Luke, [14:08]
  • Andrew shares a friend's experience of random police authority in China as a parallel story, leading to ruminations on perceptions vs. lived reality abroad.
    • “I was shocked at how actually cool China looked. The worse America gets, the more I think, well, what are other options?” – Luke, [16:39]
  • They lampoon politicians' ongoing authoritarian tendencies and the absurdity of diplomatic “security.”

3. National & Local Politics: Seattle’s New Mayor, Perception vs. Reality (20:36–25:08)

• Andrew’s Civic Reflections:
  • Talks about the ascendancy of Seattle’s new mayor, Katie Wilson, from a quiet campaign to a national target for being painted as a “communist.”
    • “We can't just run our city. And anyway, that's... I don't know if it's related to what you were just talking about, but that's where my brain went.” – Andrew, [24:50]
• Media Hysteria & Family Politics:
  • Both hosts lament the way national media instantly shape family members’ beliefs, especially via Fox News.

4. D.C. Anecdotes: Real Men, National Guard, and Security Choreography (25:08–32:32)

• Elevator Encounter:
  • Luke relays a comical encounter with an Anthony Fauci lookalike who declares, "Now you're a real man," after learning Luke is braving a morning run in freezing temperatures.
    • “He looks over and goes, are you going running? And I go, yeah. He goes, now you're a real man.” – Luke, [27:53]
  • Luke is forced to defend his jogger’s minimal clothing, invokes the “dress for the second mile” rule, and later admits it was far too cold.
• Security Overkill:
  • More observations on how security and the presence of the National Guard dominate public spaces, leading to musings about the politics and perceptions of those serving.

5. Customer Service: Target’s "Smile More" Policy (45:08–59:52)

• Corporate Mandates:
  • Target and Starbucks are both seeking to juice their sales: Target by mandating employees smile at customers when within 10 feet (“10-4 Policy”), and Starbucks with exclusive drinks at in-Target locations.
    • “Of the many things that Target has been trying to do to boost business, they've apparently told their employees to smile more at the shoppers so as to create a better shopping experience.” – Luke, [50:36]
    • "The new policy requires employees who are within 10ft of customers to smile, make eye contact, wave, and use friendly, approachable and welcoming body language. Then if staff members are within 4ft of customers, they must personally greet the guests, smile, and initiate a warm, helpful interaction." – Andrew, [54:44]
• Host Reactions:
  • Both hosts are squicked out by the artificiality and corporate disconnect behind such policies, acknowledging that it’s technically legal, but likely demoralizing and ineffective at a large scale.
    • "If you're gonna be the place that's known for having extremely friendly, helpful employees, that's gotta be day one.” – Luke, [57:02]
    • "There are places where their whole shtick is we're really helpful... What's hard is... humongous national chain... And now all of a sudden it's like, if you're within 10ft, do this." – Luke, [57:50]
  • Luke notes the misguided use of the term “Minnesota nice” in a Bloomberg article about this policy.

6. Costco’s Tequila Lawsuit: Class Actions & Truth in Labeling (60:35–65:23)

• Headline: Costco faces a class-action lawsuit for allegedly mislabeling Kirkland tequila as "100% agave."
  • "The suit... claims Costco violated the Federal Racketeer Influenced and Corruption Organization... and various state laws, including the Washington State Consumer Protection Act." – Luke, [61:39]
• Analysis:
  • Hosts speculate that this is likely lawyer-driven rather than “organic” grassroots activism, but Andrew notes there’s merit if the product doesn’t match the label.
  • Hangover "proof" is discussed as humorous legal grounds.
    • "If I could bring a lawsuit based on some of the hangovers I've had in my life.... I want to sue. I want justice." – Luke, [65:04]

7. Listener Feedback: Baldur’s Gate 3 and the World of D&D Video Games (65:42–72:38)

• Voicemail Highlight:
  • Carolyn in Encinitas asks if Andrew is playing "Baldur’s Gate 3," effusively recommending it for being like D&D minus the tedium.
    • “Go Balderdash. Love you guys. Have a great afternoon.” – Carolyn, [65:50]
• Andrew’s Gaming Adventure:
  • Confirms BG3 was the game in question; details his curiosity about D&D as a kid but shyness about the roleplay element, leading him to BG3 as an adult.
    • “It was so impenetrable to me at first. ...But I had no idea what I was doing. Like, literally no idea.” – Andrew, [67:12–72:24]
  • Laments complexity but credits friend Libby for coaching (“Just call Libby, everyone”), and admits he’s finally hooked after repeated attempts.
    • “You [Luke] would hate it. Every piece of this.” – Andrew, [72:24]
  • Luke expresses interest to discuss video games and the film “Her” on the next episode.

8. Memorable Moments & Quotes

• “Your cat doesn’t want petting anymore. Your cat wants a massage.” – Mary Jean Ballner, [00:06]
• “Dirty monkey. Not ok, but dirty monkey dance.” – Luke, [01:53]
• “It's a police state right now... But that’s all right, though. TBTL will be unaffected by whatever is going on outside here in DC.” – Luke, [02:53]
• “Are you going running? Now you’re a real man.” – Elevator Stranger, [27:53]
• “I just realized, you know what? I could just memorize the answers… That’s what studying is.” – Luke, [59:52]
• “Ace is the place with the helpful hardware folks. And when you walk into an Ace, they are helpful.” – Luke, [57:18]
• “If you’re within 10ft of customers, smile, make eye contact, wave... If you’re within 4ft, initiate a warm, helpful interaction.” – Andrew (about Target policy), [54:44]
• “If I could bring a lawsuit based on some of the hangovers I’ve had in my life. ...I want to sue. I want justice.” – Luke, [65:04]

9. Recurring Tone & Language

True to TBTL’s style, the hosts’ tone is a blend of self-deprecating, observational, tangential, and wry, peppered with inside jokes, listener shout-outs, and earnest asides on topics serious (political repression, mental health, corporate culture) and frivolous (cat behaviors, running attire, video game confusion).

Notable Segment Timestamps

• 00:06: Cat massage opening clip from Mary Jean Ballner
• 02:01: Official show intro (“the show that just might be too beautiful to live”)
• 04:10: Listener Mike resurrected the cat massage tape
• 12:16: Luke’s D.C. impressions: lively city, “uniquely designed to make me angry”
• 20:36: Andrew on Seattle’s new “communist” mayor and absurd campaign narratives
• 27:53: “Now you’re a real man,” elevator anecdote in D.C.
• 50:36: Target “smile more” policy, Starbucks/Target partnership news
• 54:44: Andrew details the “10-4” smiling policy at Target
• 60:35: Costco tequila/RICO lawsuit
• 65:42: Listener voicemail about Baldur’s Gate 3
• 67:12: Andrew’s foray into BG3 and his struggle with D&D video game complexity

Conclusion

Episode #4600 of TBTL is classic in its blend of the trivial and the trenchant. Luke and Andrew move smoothly from meditations on anxious cats and the nature of smiling in retail, to sober reflections on living in a modern security-laden D.C. while never losing their signature blend of warmth, humor, and improvisational tangents. Listeners get a feeling for real life in America’s capital, the dysfunctions of corporate America, and the escapism of video games all in one delightfully sprawling conversation.

Power Out.