TBTL #4603 "Coyote Ugly" – Summary
Podcast: TBTL: Too Beautiful To Live
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Date: November 21, 2025
Theme: A characteristically loose, funny Friday show weaving through animal issues in city life, film nostalgia, weird neighbor drama, science news on kissing, and a legendary listener voicemail.
Episode Overview
This episode delivers the signature TBTL blend of comedy, meandering conversation, and genuine moments between friends. The main threads:
- Local coyote problems and the ethics of urban wildlife management
- The history and mechanics of kissing (yes, among animals too)
- A wild "space crime" divorce follow-up
- Musings on podcast comfort, meme warfare, and awkward public crying Plus: Donor shout-outs, awkward neighbor stories, a legendary listener voicemail, and all the self-deprecating charm fans expect.
Key Discussion Points
1. Coyote Drama & Urban Wildlife (03:37–13:00)
- Andrew shares an escalation in his Seattle neighborhood's coyote problem, reading from heated neighbor emails about pets being threatened—even rumors of people feeding the coyotes (07:23).
- Andrew clarifies "TNR": Trap, Neuter, Return—a term often applied to feral cat population control, now floated for coyotes (08:01).
- Luke: “Release them again, teach them how to wear condoms.” (08:38)
- Tongue-in-cheek riffing on how you’d “train” coyotes in safe sex, prompt absurd daydreams of chair-backwards, ‘let’s rap’ teen talks (09:40).
- Debate on responsibility: Sympathy for pet-owners vs. acknowledgment that coyotes have a right to exist and fulfill a role (tick and rat reduction) in the ecosystem (09:13–11:22).
- Luke: "I kind of feel like don't they also sort of have a right to exist in a way?"
- Andrew: "If you have a coyote population that doesn't have any natural predators, then it’s only going to continue to grow and grow and grow…"
- The conversation morphs into population cycles, bunny booms, and the futility of “hazing” wild animals (06:18).
2. Podcast Comfort: Couch Life & New Setups (13:00–15:59)
- Luke contemplates podcasting from a hotel couch, finding it far preferable to standing studios, and jokes about descending into actual podcast naps.
- Friendly teasing about who is more “obsessed” with seeing each other on Zoom:
- Luke: “You look at me more than I look at you.”
- Andrew: “That is not true. You're obsessed with me. You are obsessed with me.” (15:13–15:14)
- Leads into an Onion joke about Trump and a tangent regarding J.D. Vance identity confusion in the news (15:32–16:43).
3. Donor Thanks, New Jersey Jokes, and Turkey Teeth (17:05–26:06)
- Donor roll call (17:05–26:06) is full of geographical wordplay, running jokes (Scottish accent for Connor Mulcahy), and meandering stories.
- Recurring bit: “Chehalis” vs. “Chelanigans” (18:32), jokes about medical tourism ("turkey teeth" and "turkey hair": 18:51–19:32).
- Reminiscences of TV’s "Arrested Development" and poorly healed hair plugs (19:44).
- An extended, oddly heartfelt digression about Boone, NC, and an NPR story about Super Bowl refs—culminates in Luke’s “butterfly effect” theory that his sympathetic profile of refs led to a Seahawks Super Bowl disaster (20:46–23:55).
- Andrew: "Do you think it's your fault?" (22:45)
- Luke: "Maybe they got cocky."
- Shoutouts to listeners from Florida and San Luis Obispo, CA, prompt recommendations for Cold Springs Tavern and a Portland restaurant (25:15–26:38).
4. Space Crimes Redux: Divorce, Astronauts, and the Law (27:13–33:06)
- Luke recounts the infamous ‘space crime’ story: An astronaut’s ex accused her of illegally accessing a bank account from space during a divorce. Turns out: permission had been given, no law was broken, but the (now ex) wife may face a hefty fine and jail time for the false report.
- Andrew: "Imagine trying to explain to 1950s man this story. Wait, what's crazier? The space part or the online banking?" (29:38–30:02)
- Extended riffs skewer the wild intersections of modern life: female astronauts, gay marriage, online banking from orbit, and—most crucially—reporting on the first alleged "space crime."
- Luke: “If the astronaut instead worked at HUD…I just don’t think…we’d be talking about it and I don’t think that the federal government would have been coming after the ex-wife.” (31:54)
- Side speculation on whether TBTL will ever commit the first true space crime: “Wait for Jeff Bezos to come back on the market. That’s the only way I’m getting to space.” (33:44)
5. The Science of Kissing: How, Why, and Who? (37:23–41:39)
- Luke reports on a study suggesting “kissing” (oral-to-oral contact with no food transfer) evolved 21 million years ago in a common ancestor of humans and great apes.
- Andrew: "Does this article specifically say…there’s definitely romance involved and not some other kind of bonding?" (38:36)
- Many animal species “kiss”: polar bears, prairie dogs, wolves, albatrosses.
- Riffs on picking mates, the all-important “kissing compatibility test”, and use their own team’s hiring as an analogy (“not a good kisser, so we went with John Sklaroff for business guy”).
- Luke: “Hey baby, would you like a little non aggressive directed oral to oral contact…?” (39:15)
- Gags about updating Cole Porter: “Even polar bears do it…” (41:39)
6. Listener Voicemail: "Her," Healing, and Mystery (43:23–50:10)
- Listener Catherine leaves a voicemail about crying uncontrollably at the film "Her," then anxiously waiting for the theater to clear, only to encounter two concerned strangers—one who encourages her to dump her boyfriend.
- The story’s end is confusing thanks to Bluetooth dropouts/is her husband now the man from the theater, or a different guy altogether?
- Discussion ensues on the mystery (47:12–49:10).
- Andrew: "This listener…is either: (1) not involved in the story at all, just a fella that she would meet later… (2) He's the guy who came up to her and said, is everything okay? (3) Or she never broke up with that guy at all." (48:39)
- Luke: “If that’s her wonderful, wonderful husband who she said she stayed with for two-three months too long, that’s a power move.” (49:10)
- Plea for Catherine to call back and clarify the end!
Memorable Quotes & Moments
- Luke, on coyote neutering:
- "Release them again, teach them how to wear condoms." (08:38)
- Andrew, on population cycles:
- "Sort of predatory cycles…I think sort of come and go. And I do think you want balance in these things." (11:36)
- Luke, on podcast napping:
- "...eventually I’m lying down, and then finally I’m just sleeping through most of the podcast…" (14:28)
- Andrew, on explaining "space crimes" to the 1950s:
- "Wait a second…what’s crazier? The space part or the online banking?" (29:38)
- On the science of kissing:
- Luke: "Hey baby, would you like a little non aggressive directed oral to oral contact with some movement of lips and no food transfer?" (39:15)
- Andrew: "Can we change it to limited food transfer, in my particular case?" (39:22)
Notable Timestamps
- Coyote discussion & TNR: 03:37–13:00
- Podcast setup/couch life: 13:00–15:59
- Donor thanks & digressions: 17:05–26:38
- Space crime case update: 27:13–33:06
- Kissing history/evolution: 37:23–41:39
- Listener voicemail (‘Her’ story): 43:23–50:10
Tone & Style
Loose, silly, self-aware, and warmly digressive, with just enough structure to keep regular listeners engaged. The hosts’ banter bounces effortlessly from earnest to absurd (wildlife management, memes, public crying, the science of kissing), never losing their hallmark humor and rapport.
Conclusion
A quintessential TBTL Friday:
- Big feelings about animal neighbors and urban coexistence
- Musings on couches, comfort, and podcasting
- The wildest divorce/space crime saga resolved
- Science news gets the “Wait, are polar bears romantic?” treatment
- Listener stories that both mystify and unite the TBTL community
Closing:
As always, Luke and Andrew invite more listener calls (“More calls is more better!”), admonish everyone to beware the perils of Bluetooth car mics, and sign off for the weekend with, “No mountain too tall—and good luck to all!” (53:47)