TBTL Episode #4622: Dog Bites Dave

Date: December 18, 2025
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

Episode Overview

In this Thursday edition of TBTL, Luke and Andrew riff on everything from rainy weather in the Pacific Northwest to the proper etiquette of podcasting software, and most notably, the current Portland furor over David Sedaris’s viral New Yorker essay about being bitten by a dog. The conversation twists through topics like technical podcasting trials, public radio ethics, old movies, and handling age milestones—with their signature blend of self-deprecation, sharp pop culture insight, and tangents galore. The episode also features their weekly "Blursday" birthday shoutouts and an extended dissection of the Seattle Seahawks' prospects, football viewing rituals, and the emotional toll of sports fandom.

Key Discussion Points

1. Pacific Northwest Weather & Show Start Banter ([01:14])

• Luke opens by commiserating about the relentless rain:
  "Where once again, it's just absolutely dumping, dumping rain. It's like being inside the mighty Columbia river here right now."
• Andrew chimes in:
  "There's almost no difference between the air and the liquid water. It's all kind of the same thing right now."

2. Podcast Tech Woes and Workflow Epiphanies ([03:03]–[08:07])

• Luke admits he's been using the wrong recording workflow for years, which may have hindered his interactions with Andrew via Riverside.
• Andrew walks Luke through setting up a picture-in-picture to keep visual contact while accessing soundboards, an improvement they hope uplifts the "performance" and connection.
• Both hosts share the awkwardness of realizing you might have been talking to yourself for minutes during technical dropouts:
  • Andrew: "It's a really embarrassing feeling even though I'm the only one who experienced it."
  • Luke: "You sort of feel like the roadrunner—or sorry, you feel like Wile E. Coyote. You thought there was more road underneath you, and there wasn't."

3. David Sedaris’s Dog Bite Essay and the Portland Uproar ([11:06]–[24:53])

• Context: David Sedaris wrote a widely-discussed essay about being bitten by a dog in Portland, connecting it to broader city issues, including drug policy.
• Andrew hasn't read the essay but saw a "damning headline" (likely from Willamette Week) critiquing Sedaris as out-of-touch and unfairly critical of Portland.
• Both note generational divides:
  • Andrew:
    "As he's getting older, he's been criticized a lot...not a lot, but a couple of essays he's written as kind of losing touch...just becoming kind of [a] cranky old man."
• Luke is less disturbed by the essay’s tone and more obsessed with a possible timeline continuity error:
  • He remembers Sedaris discussing this dog bite years ago and even emailed Sedaris directly for clarification:
    "...I have this memory of this thing happening now. Again, this is the week of L's for L. This is the week of me being so wrong about so many things that I'm really in my head about this....This morning, I really pulled the...I broke the glass in case of emergency, and I pulled the lever that is 'email David Sedaris directly'..." ([16:09])
• The hosts parse whether the essay is recent or pulled from older material, musing on how New Yorker essays might be evergreen or exaggerated for comic effect.
• Larger point: Both agree that it's possible to disagree with a beloved figure like Sedaris without needing to "cancel" or fully endorse him.
  • Andrew:
    "I think it's...one of those things where it doesn't have to be all or nothing. I don't think you have to be angry at David Sedaris for being out of touch, but you can just disagree."

Notable Quotes:

• Luke ([20:54]):
  "Again, this couldn't be less important other than I feel like I'm losing my mind and would like to hang onto it for at least a few more years."

4. A Detour into Customer Service and Bank Phone Trees ([34:00]–[41:16])

• Andrew gets a customer service call following the purchase of a microphone arm, and the two riff on white-glove service for small-ticket items and annoying upsell tactics.
• They vent about the Byzantine process for opting out of bank “savings roundup” schemes, bemoaning how hard financial institutions make routine customer service:
  • Andrew: "It could be like a masked burglar in here holding two bags with dollar signs on them and there's no number for me to call the bank...Why is it so difficult to opt out?"

5. Old Movie Talk: 'Misery', 'When Harry Met Sally', and 'The Thin Man' ([45:46]–[33:54])

• Luke is on a Rob Reiner kick—rewatched "When Harry Met Sally" and waxes nostalgic about 90s NYC in film and young Meg Ryan, calling the film nearly "ahistoric".
• Andrew saw "The Thin Man," discovers the sparkling chemistry of Myrna Loy and William Powell, and compares the sharpness of old screenwriting to modern comedies.
  • Andrew, on "The Thin Man" ([30:56]):
    "I was blown away at how good it was...it's not hard boiled...their love is always a ball-breaking kind of love..."
• Both reflect on how pace and wordplay in old black and white films contrast with much of today's cinema.

6. Seahawks Game Anxiety & Football Watching Rituals ([45:19]–[55:35])

• The hosts prepare emotionally for the big Seahawks-Rams game, discussing where and how to watch for maximum stress moderation.

  • Luke:
    "I'm either going to feel real good by about 8:30pm or real bad...There's something about just going into that scenario..."
  • Andrew:
    "If I only get to watch a couple of games and this one is huge for us...I think I want to be, like, kind of here at home, locked in, probably by myself."

• Extended speculation on:

  • The Seahawks' recent play-calling conservatism.
  • Playoff ramifications.
  • The psychological effects of fandom ("cloud nine or a little bummed").
  • Technical details of getting Thursday Night Football over-the-air since Andrew has ditched Amazon Prime.

7. Listener Community and the TBTL Holiday Zoom Party ([55:35]–[58:11])

• Details on the upcoming all-listener Zoom holiday party; open invitation, no pressure to speak, just to share or listen and build community.

8. Blursday: Listener Birthday (and Life Event) Shoutouts ([59:10]–[73:41])

• A classic segment with listener birthday shoutouts, ranging from little kids to a listener hitting full retirement age.
• Highlights of affection for loved ones, inside jokes exchanged through the show, and a running joke about how listeners should submit Blursdays (yell in direction of Seattle vs. email).
• Lots of warm energy and clever parent/partner birthday submissions.

Notable Blursday Quotes:

• Phyllis Fletcher's note to her son Gus ([61:55]):
  "I'm excited you got glasses this year. Now you look just a little bit more like Mom...Happy blursday. That's amazing, Luke. [Gus] is 16 years old. He's out there saving lives and driving a car and both pumping me up and, I would say, slightly negging me."
• Listener Adam ([66:01]):
  "45 was a blah year, but damn it, I'm going to do my best to make 46."

Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On podcast tech breakthroughs ([07:22], Andrew):
  "Andrew, you my friend, are an absolute. You're a genius."
• On cultural disagreement ([24:53], Luke):
  "The older I'm getting, the more I'm going in the direction of what you described, which was, like...there's a couple things in there I was like, ah, I don't know if that's the most generous interpretation...but whatever. That's how he feels. And then also, the Willamette Week can write up their thing..."
• On football fandom ([46:07], Luke):
  "I'm either going to feel real good by about 8:30pm or real bad."
• On bank phone trees ([41:04], Andrew):
  "I've been sitting with a personal banker and like the way that the personal banker can fix my issue is by calling the same number I was just on hold with for a day and a half."
• On generational changes in Sedaris’ work ([13:45], Andrew):
  "People who were maybe liberal or progressive and assume that they're in agreement on everything with him maybe are not so much."

Important Segment Timestamps

• [01:14]–[02:45]: PNW weather and show intro
• [03:03]–[08:07]: Podcast workflow tech talk
• [09:22]: Anxiety of talking into the void during dropouts
• [11:06]–[24:53]: David Sedaris essay discussion (Portland, timeline confusion, reaching out directly to Sedaris)
• [34:00]–[41:16]: Customer service call / bank frustrations
• [45:46]–[45:46]: Rob Reiner movies and old film appreciation
• [45:19]–[55:35]: Seahawks football game anticipation
• [55:35]–[58:11]: TBTL holiday Zoom party details
• [59:10]–[73:41]: Blursday birthday/anniversary/life milestone messages

Tone & Style

The tone is loose, irreverent, and hyper-self-aware, with plenty of playful ribbing, in-jokes, and "meta" discussion about their own podcasting processes and anxieties. The show leans toward rambling, but with genuine warmth and listener inclusivity at its core. Both hosts balance nostalgic affection for Northwest culture with gentle exasperation at the indignities of modern life, customer service, and getting older.

Summary for the Uninitiated

If you haven't listened:
This episode features the hallmark TBTL banter—part existential therapy, part media criticism, part geek-out on Pacific Northwest life. The biggest throughline is the David Sedaris dog bite essay and the oddity of memory, media outrage, and the passage of time. Along the way, there are confessions about broadcasting mistakes, pod-tech hacks, old movie recommendations, the fraught joy of sports fandom, and listener community celebrations. If you’re looking for a thoughtful, funny, and welcoming corner of podcasting, this episode is classic TBTL.

Power out.