TBTL Episode #4635: “A Two-Man Pluribus”
Date: January 6, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh
Episode Overview
This hilariously meandering episode of TBTL features Luke and Andrew diving deep into their personal food aversions and ongoing quests to evolve their palates, a surreal and slightly alarming online firearm purchase, and an extended digression into fruit prep, storage, and snack strategy. As always, the conversation rolls between self-deprecating humor, lighthearted banter, and the kind of hyper-focused overthinking only these two can deliver—punctuated with pop culture asides, gentle ribbing, and affectionate tangents.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Banana Dream & Trying New Things
[03:07 – 06:37]
- Andrew’s Banana Dream: Andrew recounts a dream where he, despite hating bananas, was served a pristine one in a fancy restaurant (with podcast-favorite Nora McInerny making a dream cameo). The dream leads to a conversation about Andrew’s aversion (“bananas really ick me out”) and the possible symbolism of trying new things in the New Year.
- Luke’s Mushrooms Parallel: Inspired by Andrew’s story, Luke talks about challenging his own life-long mushroom aversion, especially as a largely meatless eater. He’s begun embracing dishes with mushrooms rather than requesting them to be “held”—a slow acclimatization process.
- Quote: “I’ve just always been like, nah, miss me with those mushrooms… But Becca was saying, you might want to really re-examine that.” (Luke, 08:11)
Memorable Banter:
“Let’s try to be adults about this.” – Andrew [03:43]
“Tell me about your phallic dream.” – Luke [03:48]
2. Texture Terrors: Bananas, Avocados & Food Preparation
[06:40 – 24:59]
- Andrew’s Food Texture Issues: Bananas and avocados are discussed through the lens of food texture (“that kind of creamy thing… that’s what you’re put off by” – Luke, 20:05). Andrew explains he can handle avocado in specific “individualized and crispy” summer salads, but not as guacamole.
- Avocado Cutting Techniques: The duo enthusiastically swap avocado preparation methods, nerding out in detail about gridding, inverting, and pitting avocados—Luke’s “ultimate cool guy move” is the knife-thwack pit removal.
- Fruit and Salad Season Yearning: Luke becomes wistful thinking ahead to summer, corn salad, and baseball. (“…at some point, we’ll be eating corn salad and watching baseball.” – Luke, 23:42)
3. Fruit Storage, Preferences, and Systems
[24:59 – 36:34]
- Grapefruit vs. Small Oranges: Andrew professes love for grapefruit, while Luke admits he’d never buy one but doesn’t mind when it appears at a buffet. Andrew’s accidental palate “reset” story (grapefruit followed by a “cutie” made the orange taste divine) illustrates the impact of food sequencing.
- The Great Fridge Debate: Andrew advocates for refrigerating all fruit for max enjoyment. Luke admits he only has a veggie and a cheese/meat drawer but is inspired to up his fruit refrigeration by Andrew’s testimony and a recent blueberry TikTok container purchase.
- Quote: “Warm fruit has no place in my life.” – Andrew [31:15]
- Blueberry Washing & Storage: A practical deep dive into fruit prep via TikTok—Luke’s new berry-washing, strain-and-store containers, and the surprisingly dirty rinse water.
4. TikTok Purchases Gone Awry: The Accidental Gun Story
[36:43 – 72:34]
- Impulse Buy: Luke regales Andrew with the saga of accidentally purchasing what he thought was a $25 BB gun via TikTok (“I may have accidentally purchased a firearm on the Internet…” – Luke, 01:21).
- Realization & Panic: Follow-up TikTok ads hint it’s actually a single-shot, foldable .22 caliber pistol (similar to the “LifeCard”), leading Luke to stress over whether he just illegally bought a firearm.
- Quote: “It’s an assassination weapon that can hold a single bullet.” (quoting wild TikTok ad, Luke & Andrew, ~61:12)
- Research & Relief: Andrew investigates, finding forums and official warnings; the consensus is Luke probably bought a cheap, non-functional knockoff intended as a novelty or BB shooter, not a real firearm.
- Quote: “...there is this place called Trailblazer Firearms that makes something like this... And now somebody has basically taken that and made a very cheap version of it that probably shoots BBs or pellets in some way…” – Andrew [67:38]
5. Advertising Gimmicks: Bananas as Weapons
[73:47 – 77:09]
- “Banana” Self-Defense Ad: Andrew describes a dystopian, AI-generated commercial using bananas as stand-ins for non-lethal self-defense weapons, lampooning fear-mongering tactics, and the absurdity of the imagery.
- Quote: “...imagine this banana was capable of incapacitating an attacker from over 60 ft...” (AI ad, 74:12)
- Discussion on Attention-Grabbing Advertising: Luke and Andrew debate the effectiveness of the ad (and a similar ice-cream-cone themed Google Pixel ad), how surprise visual metaphors hook audiences, and their conflicted feelings about fear-based marketing.
6. Ken Burns, Historical Documentaries, and TV Recommendations
[38:12 – 44:04]
- Ken Burns’ American Revolution: Luke plans to rewatch Ken Burns’ historical doc and extols the value of “an inch deep, mile-wide” education.
- Death by Lightning: Luke recommends the dramatized series on President Garfield’s assassination, sparking mutual confusion over which actors were involved and a tangent on famous orange cartoon cats (Heathcliff & Garfield).
- Quote: “I’ve seen the best beards of my time, driven insane.” – Luke, absurdist aside [41:12]
7. Listener Engagement & Donor Thanks
[36:45 – 47:47, 44:11 – 44:18]
- Routine TBTL donor shout-outs laced with typical banter. Notable mini-tangent: Andrew thanks a listener for sending him a bag of Bit-O-Honey candy, which spirals into wordplay about Beto O’Rourke (“Bit-O O’Rourke”).
- “Thank you, baby…” – signature jingle [36:43]
8. Authenticity, Reading Goals & Digital Attention
[47:47 – 49:01]
- Luke’s Resolution: Announcing a mission to read a physical book or magazine for an hour each day to combat the TikTok doom-scroll. Andrew confesses to reading on his phone due to poor lighting/eyesight.
- Quote: “...eventually you need everything to be so flavor blasted just for it to taste like anything. And I just need to...” – Luke [49:01]
9. Listener Voicemail: The Real Macbeth "Curse"
[83:16 – 86:29]
- Avalon’s Insight: Listener Avalon explains the “Scottish Play” superstition: it wasn’t mystical but pragmatic. Macbeth was so popular that struggling theaters could be upended by itinerant Macbeth troupes, so saying its name was “bad luck” because it threatened job security, not because of an actual curse.
- Quote: “...saying Macbeth meant the show was really bad and they were going to replace it with Macbeth, and over time it became known as the Scottish play instead...” – Avalon [85:11]
Notable Quotes & Timestamps
- “Let’s try to be adults about this.” – Andrew [03:43]
- “I just want you to be normal. And clearly you’re not.” – Luke [01:23]
- “I’ve just always been like, nah, miss me with those mushrooms.” – Luke [08:11]
- “Warm fruit has no place in my life.” – Andrew [31:15]
- “It tasted like a covenant with God.” – Andrew on post-grapefruit orange [28:41]
- “I may have accidentally purchased a firearm on the Internet the other day...” – Luke [01:21]
- “It’s an assassination weapon that can hold a single bullet.” – TikTok ad quote (via Luke & Andrew) [61:12]
- “I’m not hoping for a functioning illegal firearm.” – Luke [88:20]
- “...saying Macbeth meant the show was really bad and they were going to replace it with Macbeth... It became known as the Scottish play instead of Macbeth.” – Avalon, voicemail [85:11]
Timestamps for Major Segments
- 00:00 – 06:37: Bananas in Andrew’s dream & food aversions
- 06:40 – 24:59: Fruit, avocados, and summer salad technique
- 24:59 – 36:34: Grapefruit, orange epiphany & fridge vs. room temp fruit
- 36:43 – 72:34: The TikTok "BB gun" that maybe isn’t; research and speculation
- 73:47 – 77:09: Ridiculous “banana weapon” commercial and critique
- 38:12 – 44:04: Ken Burns, Death By Lightning, and cartoon cat theory
- 83:16 – 86:29: Avalon’s voicemail on the Macbeth “curse”
Tone and Style
- Playful, self-aware, and gently neurotic; hosts riff on their anxieties, likes and dislikes, and mundane details with warmth and humor.
- Frequent asides, digressions, and inside jokes; affectionate self-mockery is the order of the day.
- Genuine curiosity and willingness to challenge personal quirks—whether food or tech habits.
- Occasional philosophical musing on advertising, history, and the overload/boredom cycle of digital life.
Summary for New Listeners
This episode is a quintessential TBTL rollercoaster—starting with banana dreams and ending with an accidental firearm purchase, weaving through fruit salads, tech woes, and listener wisdom. It’s a showcase for the hosts’ unique blend of vulnerability, irreverence, and relentless curiosity about the smallest details of everyday life. If you love comedy, friendship, and absurd overthinking, this TBTL is for you.