TBTL Episode #4640: “Park a Mile in My Shoes”
Date: January 13, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & guest hosts David (“David from the basement,” Luke’s brother) and John (TBTL employee)
Episode Overview
This lively episode dives into a familiar TBTL mix: family life, travel grievances, airport culture, football obsessions, and the ultimately controversial etiquette of parking. With Andrew still in Las Vegas, Luke hosts from the foggy Madrona Hill studio alongside his brother David (pinch-hitting for Andrew) and John, TBTL’s first employee. Amidst celebratory updates for David’s daughter Gemma’s first birthday, the crew discusses kids’ scooter suitcases, humblebragging families, NFL playoffs(especially the Seahawks and their rivals), and one divisive modern behavior: the Republican-coded act of backing into parking spaces.
Key Topics & Discussions
1. Family Life & Surviving Sleep Deprivation
- David opens up about celebrating his daughter Gemma’s first birthday on zero sleep due to multiple jobs—restaurant work and radio production in Seattle.
- “Oh, just a clean 10 hours [awake], probably 10 hours. And that was about an hour of rest. ‘Cause I did work at the old restaurant last night.” (04:01, David)
- His wife Alicia has been prepping party hats for Gemma’s stuffed animals and purchased a ball pit and a "nugget couch"—a modular play couch popular with parents.
- Luke fondly recounts childhood Burbank family games such as “Tickle Monster.”
- “My dad would be under a blanket and down on all fours in the living room...the Tickle Monster did not reach out from under the blanket and snag you by the ankle and tickle you.” (07:20, Luke)
2. Kids, Luggage & Airport Etiquette
- The Washington Post published an article about the rise of children riding scooter-suitcases in airports, sparking a debate.
- Luke initially finds it delightful, but his stance sours after reading a performative Instagram caption by influencer parents.
- “As I read this, I’m becoming more angry, actually...because you’re trying to get the clicks, lady. Let’s be honest.” (18:45, Luke)
- General consensus: Cute in moderation, but influencer parents “narrativizing” mundane kid behavior is grating—a symptom of main character energy and the urge to brand family life.
- “I think my issue is I’m tired of people trying to, like, narrative-ize their whole experience and their family...You don’t have a story to tell. I’m sorry.” (21:41, David)
- John: “You are using your children and their adorable activities as an accessory and to create content and to monetize it. And in 20 years, is that kid going to be thrilled that there’s videos of them scooting around the airport? ...They also have no say in it.” (25:35)
- All hosts express sympathy for parents flying with crying babies and call for public empathy.
- “I will try to send a message psychically to them that I am so fine with their kid...like, I totally get it.” (26:24, Luke)
3. Travel, Upgrades, and Airline Schemes
- Luke confesses to paying $100 out of pocket to upgrade to first class on an American Airlines flight, lamenting how airlines monetize what used to be loyalty perks (rather than free upgrades for frequent flyers).
- “But what the airlines are doing now is…it’s harder and harder to get upgraded...They’ll start it at like, ‘Hey, do you want to pay $1,000 to be in first class?’ Absolutely not. And then they’ll be like...$100. I mean, I get a free smoked salmon breakfast.” (29:48, Luke)
- Discussion about Clear (expedited airport security), and how paid tiers in travel slowly make the experience worse for everyone outside the paywalls.
- John: “I also think it should be illegal for Clear to solicit at the airport…” (31:17)
- Airport arrival philosophy: better to risk missing a flight occasionally than to always arrive excessively early ("market efficiency" vs. "main character energy" at the airport).
- “Even if you miss one flight a year, you’ve saved yourself many hours over that person who’s getting to the airport three hours early…” (34:21, Luke)
4. NFL/Seahawks, Family Scheduling, & Sports Anxiety
- David’s daughter’s birthday party awkwardly scheduled at the same time as a major Seahawks playoff game—tough for his sports-loving family but forbidden by his wife, who bans football energy from the party.
- Luke and David commiserate over family football addiction and conflict at family events, gently poking fun at themselves and their relatives.
- (14:07) Luke offers to share his streaming login so David can "low-key check [the game] on your phone like you’re in a commercial about a guy being a guy, bro.”
- John’s strategy: covertly watch quietly while cleaning up after the party.
- Luke flexes his upgrade to watching games on iPads in a hot tub, emulating “visual hedonism.”
- “I had the game on in the house, but then…in the little hot tub…but then I couldn’t quite see the game so then I had it on the iPad…It was like…If a meteor strikes me, I will understand.” (16:31, Luke)
5. Football Lore & Smelling Salts
- The crew covers the Seahawks’ upcoming playoff game against the 49ers:
- Seahawks are favorites, which makes Luke (and many fans) irrationally nervous.
- Extended tribute to George Kittle (49ers tight end), who is seen as likable and humble, even as a rival.
- Weirdness: the 49ers allegedly have an “illicit supply of smelling salts,” which are technically banned from team provision on NFL sidelines but widely used by players—and even front-office staff like GM John Lynch.
- “Why does John Lynch need to lock in this hard as the general manager at this point on the sideline?” (65:13, Luke)
- Side-discussion: Smelling salts as a sports tradition; all agree they’re intense and memorable.
- The group plays (and lampoons) local football songs, including the legendary “Seahawks Fix Bass,” and an NSFW anti-49ers rap, at listener Josh’s request.
6. Parking Controversy: Back-in Parking as “Republican Coded”
- Spirited debate about whether backing into parking spots is a sign of MAGA (or at least conservative) culture—with Luke and some listeners insisting it’s a relatively new, self-centered, “I got mine” behavior, especially among big truck drivers.
- David and John agree it’s rude in crowded lots, and John points out that in blue enclaves, Subarus back in, too:
- “When I see someone backing in their Subaru Outback…I am like, You monster. There is a line of people waiting.” (80:46, John)
- Discussion of the “rings” of truck ownership around Seattle—outer suburbs with more space see more huge (often unnecessary) trucks.
- All hosts: it’s less the act, more the context and attitude behind it.
Notable Quotes & Moments
(Timestamps in MM:SS format)
- “Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” (01:30, David to Luke)
- “This is tearing the travelers of America apart.” (01:53, Luke, re: ride-on luggage for kids)
- “I choose to live my life in the company of Gandhi and King. My concerns are global. Remember, this is not a competition. Although you two seem to be the … best in the class.” (00:28, classic goofing intro)
- “She’s been working all this week making party hats for all of the Gemma stuffed animals.” (05:11, David)
- “I’ve studied the human mind. I’ve learned how to read it and ultimately control it.” (00:18, Luke channeling comic villain energy)
- “That’s how I generally will watch my football—while I’m doing dishes.” (15:51, David)
- “Chris Stapleton singing In the Air Tonight…Is Chris Stapleton one of the ones that’s actually kind of good?” (39:37, Luke, on the NFL’s bizarre TV theme songs)
- John on influencer parents: “You are using your children and their adorable activities…to create content and to monetize it. And in 20 years is that kid going to be thrilled that there’s videos of them scooting around the airport?” (25:35)
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Intro Skits & Show Start: 00:00–01:23
- Foggy morning banter and plans: 01:31–03:50
- Gemma’s birthday, parenting, and family furniture: 04:00–07:57
- Tickle Monster game, sibling memories: 07:58–09:27
- Seahawks playoff planning crisis / party conflicts: 09:28–13:35
- Covert sports viewing strategies: 14:07–15:57
- Airport ride-on luggage/kids as content: 17:24–27:40
- Traveler empathy for stressed-out parents: 26:24–27:40
- Upgrades, Clear, and airport line philosophy: 29:48–34:21
- Vegas culture, casinos, and evolving feelings as you age: 35:02–38:13
- Donor segment & shout-outs: 41:00–46:14
- Football song parodies & anti-49ers music: 46:24–49:35
- Seahawks-49ers playoff preview: 49:36–66:16
- Smelling salts, football traditions, and injuries: 61:15–66:16
- NFL coaching carousel / breaking Steelers news: 68:03–72:41
- Parking “back-in” etiquette as conservative-coded flex: 72:54–80:46
Episode Tone & Energy
Classic TBTL: goofy, affectionate, lightly self-mocking, with a hearty blend of nostalgic family talk and topical grumbling. The banter is warm and chaotic as siblings riff on childhood and adulthood, and TBTL’s signature digressions are on full display—always swooping from football analysis to the mysteries of why people behave the way they do in parking lots.
TL;DR
This episode is a quintessential TBTL hang. You’ll get parenting stories, playful family rivalry, anti-influencer social commentary, sports neuroses, and the “back-in parkers are Republican-coded” thesis—all delivered with the hosts’ trademark good humor and willingness to digress. Not a sports fan? You’ll still find yourself nodding along in recognition of family squabbles, main character syndrome, and airport aggravations.
No mountain too tall—and good luck to the Seahawks, but keep the birthday party about the baby.