#4675 Kalshi And Chill

Summary

TBTL #4675 “Kalshi And Chill” – March 3, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Luke and Andrew riff on everything from online prediction markets (specifically Kalshi) and sports betting, to pop culture oddities and the quirks of watching Columbo in the 90s. The main thread twists around Luke’s recent foray into Kalshi, the dangers of dynamic micro-betting, and a detective-level mystery about Columbo’s enigmatic “NFI” hat. Alongside the larger themes, they spotlight classic TBTL digressions—nostalgic music, Marveling at Sweetwater Sound’s customer service, and listener interactions about everyday weirdness.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Fog, Moles, and Mood: Opening Banter

• The show opens with classic layered in-jokes and a “mole situation,” setting the domestic and self-deprecating tone.
  • [02:12] Luke: “…so many mole hills in my yard that I was mowing around them. And then finally, I just…drove right over them in my Ryobi electric lawnmower…”

2. Kalshi and the Gambling Rabbit Hole

• Andrew and Luke brainstorm ways to monetize their show (“hot couch” bets, foggy day intros), leading to Luke’s story about accidentally losing $80 on Kalshi.
  • [04:38] Luke: “Did I tell you that I started a Kalshi account?...and I lost $80 within about 20 minutes on whether or not the announcers would say alley oop during an NBA game.”
  • Discussion: Kalshi as “investment product” in legally gray areas (Washington state bans sports betting apps, but Kalshi stays afloat by being a ‘market’ rather than a bookie).
• Luke’s bets included the Netflix/Warner Bros Discovery deal (wishful thinking), and real-time, addictive micro-betting mechanics.
  • [09:00] “The amount of dynamic…real time data…little graphs and like things that are bouncing off…It was so much more fun than just putting a regular sports bet down….I could see it being very addictive, which is why I will never do it again.”
• Ethics of prediction markets: Luke and Andrew both raise concerns about information asymmetry (inside info for TV tapings), referring to Chris Hayes’ experience with Colbert tapings and political events.
  • [13:03] “...there was almost a million dollars in action on what he was going to say when there were so many people that were in the room when he said the stuff…”

3. Novelty Songs, Nostalgia, and Springsteen

• Rabbit hole into the word “alley oop,” the novelty song “Alley Oop” by the Hollywood Argyles, and its strange place in their childhood musical memories.
  • [17:12] Andrew: “I hated this song as a kid, and I don’t know why. This is by the Hollywood Argyles. If this got—if this pulled off. I don’t like the way he sings...”
• Debate about Bruce Springsteen: Andrew confesses disappointment at not being a fan despite genuinely wanting to be, citing personal taste in vocals and arrangements.
  • [21:20] “I don’t like the vocal stylings. Quite literally. Like, it’s just not my style of vocals. And I don’t like a big band sound. I don’t like mixing horns and guitars.”
  • [22:12] Luke: “Very few people are like, just ‘I’m good with Bruce Springsteen.’ It’s either you’re not that interested…or you are obsessed.”
• Accidental roast of a listener/donor (Pam), who is a known Springsteen fan—handled with humor and affection.
  • [25:41] “Of all the days for us to take on the Boss, it’s the day that we’re also thanking, I believe, bonafide Bruce Springsteen fan Pam Ketzner.”

4. Dazzling Donors: Listener Love, Gentle Roasting, and Mariners/Yankees Rivalry

• Warm, playful acknowledgments of listeners Pam and Jennifer; notable for affectionate teasing and personal storytelling.
  • [30:34] “Pam says this is a big year for me...My New York Yankee fan husband Kent and I celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary in January.”
  • Running jokes about sports fandom differences, and more Bruce Springsteen love.
• Jennifer’s time as mayor of Mukilteo, her loyalty, and Pokémon Go nostalgia.
  • [36:07] “...for somehow keeping it both comforting and surprising…that is maybe the highest compliment you can pay me.”

5. Mystery Deep Dive: Columbo’s “NFI” Hat

• Key Segment [Starts ~41:00]
  • Andrew describes watching a 1991 Columbo episode (“Columbo and the Murder of a Rock Star”) where Peter Falk wears an inexplicable black “NFI” hat—breaking with every established element of Columbo’s look.
  • [49:59] Andrew: “He is wearing a big black baseball cap, the kind of structured kind that are very much like a MAGA hat, only this is a black hat, white letters. NFI.”
• Unresolved internet lore: Andrew investigates, but finds all answers trace back to a single IMDb post—uncorroborated, possibly apocryphal—about it standing for “No F***ing Idea.”
• Luke speculates it was a whim, maybe for comfort or to hide a (never confirmed) head injury, but both agree it’s a pure power move by Peter Falk.
  • [63:17] Luke: “This is why I agree with you. This is 100% Peter Falk’s doing. Because nobody else would have thought this was a good idea and they couldn’t have gotten it through. This is only the kind of thing that you can do when you are, as my dad likes to say…head chef and chief bottle washer…”
• Call to listeners: Use the TBTL hive mind to dig up the real story behind the NFI hat.

6. Traffic Tickets, Parking Woes, and Sweetwater Sound’s Delightful Service

• Andrew provides an update on Genevieve’s bus lane ticket—learning camera/parking citations are not moving violations, and thus not reportable for insurance or tied to a specific driver.
  • [68:14] “If you’re caught on camera doing something like this, it’s not considered a moving violation. It’s more along the lines of a parking ticket…”
• Luke recounts his successful call to dispute a wrongfully issued Portland parking ticket, lauding the best customer service of his life.
  • [76:51] “This woman at the parking ticket place could have worked for Sweetwater. Yeah, she was like so helpful…let me just help you…walked me through the whole thing.”
• Andrew is interrupted on-air by a call from Sweetwater Sound, launching into praise for their personalized customer service and candy-in-the-box branding.
  • [75:28] “[Sweetwater is] literally the sweetest people around. And now here they are calling me the next day.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• [04:38] Luke: “Did I tell you that I started a Kalshi account?...and I lost $80 within about 20 minutes on whether or not the announcers would say alley oop during an NBA game."
• [22:12] Luke: “Very few people are just like, ‘I’m good with Bruce Springsteen.’ It’s either you’re not that interested…or you are obsessed.”
• [49:59] Andrew: “It says N F I in big block letters. Like, literally, like ‘MAGA’ letters. Black hat, white letters. NFI.”
• [54:57] Andrew (about the IMDb post on the NFI hat): “Do you believe this particular story that one person wrote on IMDb? And now every research points back to this.”
• [63:17] Luke: “This is 100% Peter Falk’s doing…only the kind of thing you can do when you are…head chef and chief bottle washer…”
• [76:51] Luke: “This woman at the parking ticket place could have worked for Sweetwater…she was so nice...She walked me through the whole thing…”

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 04:38 — Luke loses money on Kalshi, NBA “alley oop” bet
• 09:00 — The seductive addictiveness of Kalshi and micro-betting
• 17:12 — The “Alley Oop” novelty song and Andrew’s childhood memories
• 21:20 — Andrew’s Springsteen confessions; fan community dynamics
• 30:34 — Dazzling Donor segment: Pam’s Bruce Springsteen fandom & marital sports rivalry
• 36:07 — Dazzling Donor segment: Jennifer, mayor of Mukilteo, Pokémon Go nostalgia
• 41:00 — Top Story: Columbo’s mysterious NFI hat
• 49:59 — Visual description & search for meaning of the NFI Hat
• 54:36 — Debating IMDb lore; skepticism about the NFI hat origin story
• 68:14 — Camera/parking tickets in Washington; legal intricacies
• 75:28 — Sweetwater Sound: customer service, candy, and consumer loyalty

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Conclusion

This episode epitomizes TBTL’s blend of hilarious digressions, gentle roasting, and everyday puzzles, from the sudden hazards of online prediction markets to the unsolved mystery of Peter Falk’s baseball hat. The banter is empathetic, warm, and at times deeply silly—but listeners are always included in the fun, whether it’s debating novelty songs, challenging Springsteen orthodoxy, or solving the lingering mystery of a 1991 Columbo wardrobe choice.

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Power Out!

Transcript

[A]

Little girl.

[B]

Yes, sir?

[A]

I want you to do something very important. All right? Okay. I want you to run home and I want you to call the ER of North Bank General Hospital, 932-1000.

[B]

Tell them to set up or six

[A]

immediately and contact anesthesiologist Isadora Turek, 472-2112, beep 12. Have him send an ambulance with a paramedic crew. Light IV D5 and W KBO. You got it.

[B]

We are North Bank General Hospital, 932 or 6.

[A]

Contact anesthesiologist ISDRO Torque 472211 TB12.

[B]

I'm bewildered with paramuxin larvae P5 and WKVL.

[A]

That's good. Sounds like a subdural hematoma to me.

[B]

Oh, it does, does it?

[A]

Well, it's not your job to diagnose. But I thought.

[B]

You thought, you thought. Just go tbtl.

[A]

You're not oversharing. You are not oversharing. Boring people came up with that. Boring people made that up. They made up over sharing because they're too boring to handle an interesting conversation. You're not oversharing. Keep sharing. I want to hear everything. I want to hear it all, and then I want to hear a little bit more.

[B]

Sure, it's done in the name of comedy, but is debasing ourselves really that hilarious?

[A]

I got Gatekeep once and hated it,

[B]

so I'm about to spill some tea.

[A]

That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

[B]

I'm. I'm. I have. I'm easily. I don't. How did. Do you follow?

[A]

I don't even know what that means.

[B]

No one knows what it means, but it's provocative. They taste like burning.

[A]

All right. Hello, good morning, and welcome, everyone, to a Tuesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[B]

Ooh la la.

[A]

My name is Luke Burbank. I'm your host.

[B]

Why don't you have a podcast, by the way?

[A]

Because I think that something awaits for me in the divine for resisting. Coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where. We had a good run, folks. We had a good run. Now it's foggy.

[B]

We've got the fog.

[A]

Yesterday, though. My goodness gracious, it was beautiful. We were out. We were working in the yard.

[B]

Wanted to add a few comments regarding your mole situation.

[A]

I was dealing with a mole situation. There were so many mole hills in my yard that I was mowing around them. And then finally, I just. Just went for it. Just drove Right over them in my Ryobi electric lawnmower. And actually it did all right. I was kind of impressed with it. I also learned something about myself yesterday and spatial awareness that we're going to talk about here on episode 4675 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We're also dealing with a mystery, folks.

[B]

The past is history.

[A]

The future is a mystery involving something that happened on the television show Columbo.

[B]

Oh, sir, just one more thing.

[A]

And the guy who is going to tell us about that mystery is actually here with me right now. Believe it or not, he's the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. This is his basic approach to podcasting. After thousands, literally thousands of episodes. I will keep thinking as we talk

[B]

and something will come to me.

[A]

He's Andrew Walsh and he's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[B]

Good morning, Luke. Do you want to make money? Because I just had a money making idea. Absolutely.

[A]

I think he used a little extra scratch.

[B]

I appreciate that the listeners of TBTL are the ones who keep this program going, and I don't want to break any covenants that we made regarding advertising, but given the fact that we are the only podcast that is not in a such some way supported by a sports betting app, your DraftKings or your other ones.

[A]

If anything, we're the one podcast where one of the hosts is dumping hundreds of dollars into the technology. Yes, that's right.

[B]

You're supporting them.

[A]

It's the opposite of a sponsorship deal.

[B]

I play this little game in my head where during the intro you say, it's foggy outside. And I have to guess if you're going to. You've got the fog. Colbert saying we've got the fog. Or Ella fit. Not Ella Fitzgerald. Somebody singing Foggy Day. I don't know.

[A]

It is Ella Fitzgerald.

[B]

Ella Fitzgerald. Okay.

[A]

Yes, it absolutely is. In fact, I'll favor you with that right here.

[B]

And I feel like those are the only two. And so I feel like there are betting odds you could like, you could put bets on that. And that's the only thing we sponsor. That and the hot couch, the hot take, hot couch, those two things. If we could get sponsorships for those, I think we'd be in pretty good shape.

[A]

Did I tell you that I started a Kalshi account?

[B]

No, you didn't.

[A]

And I lost $80 within about 20 minutes on whether or not the announcers would say alley oop during an NBA game.

[B]

Oh, no, I didn't. Know that.

[A]

And also that the Detroit Pistons would win, which they didn't.

[B]

Wait, why are you doing Kelshi and not. And not one of the sport. Oh, because sports betting, quote unquote. Sports betting apps aren't legal in Washington, but here you have an investment product where you can guess whether or not somebody's gonna say alley oop.

[A]

You know what else I bet on incorrectly on Cowshe.

[B]

What?

[A]

I bet that Netflix was going to be the successful suitor of Warner Bros. Discovery. That's a true story. Andrew, what is going on? I think I still actually have the bet because it isn't all official yet.

[B]

Walk me through your thought process right before you subscribed, before you downloaded the app and decided. Cause I have a feeling, first of all, I saw something while I was chatting a second ago, and I honestly took it personally for a split second. I'm not even joking from me. Yeah, because I was just telling my stupid joke about betting on fog. And at one moment, you did something I've literally never seen you do before. I forgot the fog. You just took both of your. Your hands and buried your face in your hands for a moment. I don't know if you realize that you did that the way I'm constantly touching my microphone. And I don't realize it until I was.

[A]

I did not realize I was doing that.

[B]

You took both of your hands, you put them in front of your face, and you literally buried your face in your hands.

[A]

It's because I was getting ready to tell you about the fact that.

[B]

I know. I know. That's what I'm saying. Like, in the moment, I was like, all right, it's not my best bit in the world, but Jesus Lord, we're just getting started here. And now I realize you did that because you feel bad. You feel bad about this, and I think you should. So tell me how.

[A]

Do you want to know what the chain of events was?

[B]

Yes, I really do.

[A]

I blame our friend Phyllis Fletcher.

[B]

Oh, good. Yeah. For real. What's up?

[A]

So Phyllis was helping out with a podcast that's being created over at kuow, a very cool podcast called Control F. And it's about data and how data kind of runs our life and how we interact with it. And they're working on a. An episode about sports betting. So I was being interviewed by, I believe, the host of the show, a person named Claire. And Claire asked me if I did any of those predictive markets, Kalshee or the like. And I said, absolutely not. In fact, I think I said something like, I Don't think I trust myself with Kalshee and a bottle of wine. And we finished up the interview and I walked down into the house and I did not get out a bottle of wine, but I did go, I wonder if I can do Kalshi here. And I signed up for it and I dropped $100 into it. And I put a bet down that the company I work for, Paramount, was not going to be the company that won the Warner Brothers Discovery deal. And that was wishful thinking on my part because I kind of wanted Netflix to win.

[B]

Can I ask you how you started with that where you just like, you open up the app, you want to see what's what. You start scrolling. Caught your eye. Or did you kind of go in thinking this is a world event or a media event that I want to start with?

[A]

Well, first of all, it was aspirational in the sense that I wanted that to be the outcome. So that was a little bit of it. Also, a lot of the things on there are like two or three years out. Like the biggest bet is, will Kalshee exist when your bet comes in in two or three years? You know what I mean? They're like long time horizon events, you know, will, like who will be the Republican nominee or something for like president. And so none of those were appealing to me. I wanted something kind of short term. But then all the sports that were happening when I first kind of booted it up were like, you know, sports happening in other countries, sports I don't know anything about. And then one NBA game involving the Detroit Pistons were playing, I want to say maybe the San Antonio spurs. And. And so I just was kind of going with what was currently active and which I thought I had at least some awareness of. But I don't know anything about the NBA, so I wasn't. I did bet on Detroit winning, which was foolish, but I also bet on the announcers saying alley oop at some point. And there were like, I watched this whole game, Andrew. There was at least four alley oop dunks and at no time did the announcer say alley oops. It was like they were in cahoots.

[B]

And again, I mean, this sounds so moronic to even ask, but obviously this wasn't something that you just made up. Like it has to be available. There's a menu of bets. That's an interesting one. I mean, I know that you can. I know on the sports betting apps, which I've never ever had on my phone, so I don't really know that world at all. But of course there's a million little cute side bets, but Kelshi, which is supposed to be about predicting other events outside of the world of sports as well. I still don't understand how it's legal in, in washing. It's, it's. I don't understand how they're getting.

[A]

Well, it shouldn't be.

[B]

No, but anyway, I, it just seems, by the way, if they didn't have that many sports related bets, that at least American sports related bets. That seems like such a specific one to throw on the app.

[A]

I think that the way that they argue they should be able to exist and get around the laws is that they are not making any money off of the bets. They are simply allowing people, some of whom have bad ideas about what is going to happen to Warner Brothers Discovery and some who have apparently accurate ideas and they put those people together, together, but they don't take any. There's no vig for them. Whereas like DraftKings and those other places actually take some amount of money from the bet. These predictive markets, at least Kalshi, I think their argument is they don't take any money so therefore that, you know, they shouldn't be, you know, prohibited in a state like this. But the thing that was crazy and by the way, that was it for me. I learned my lesson. I was like, I can't be trusted with this. But when I was watching that Detroit game, it was wild because it's not just like you're on a sports betting site where you put your bed in and you kind of watch the game and hope your thing happens. The amount of dynamic sort of like real time data. How do I put it? Like, basically so I had bought in for $100. I think I had put maybe $40 on Detroit winning and maybe $20 on Alley Oop and maybe $20 on who was going to win Warner Brothers Discovery. And at all times it kept telling me what my total stake, what my hundred dollars. At one point it was $120. I could, I guess, I guess I could have sold it then. And as Detroit, who I had money on was, you know, playing better, I could just see like my, my amount, my stake in that event going up. It was so dynamic and reactive and in real time. And I saw, I thought like, oh man, this is dangerous because it was so much more fun than just putting a regular sports bet down because again, I think I could have sold at any moment. And I was just. It's just so much happening with these little graphs and like things that are bouncing off like it was. I could see it being very addictive, which is why I will never do it again.

[B]

Did you, did you actually delete it from your phone? I'm not judging. I'm just asking because I know you do that sometimes.

[A]

No, but let's see how much. Let's. Let's find out together. I did not delete it from my phone. But I'm curious what my. Again. At one time, I had $120 in there. I could have just sold. I could have been up 20 bucks. Let's see, I have to do a little face.

[B]

But all you did was use. You put in $20. That's the total amount.

[A]

No, I put in a hundred dollars.

[B]

Oh, you did put in $100. Oh, okay.

[A]

I thought. Okay. And I now have $2.75.

[B]

Okay, can we. What are we going to put that on?

[A]

Well, we can. Let's see here. We could. We could bet on if Ken Paxton in Texas will beat John Cornyn in the Texas Senate primary.

[B]

Put it all on Let it Roll.

[A]

We could bet if Amy Madigan or Teyana Taylor will win best supporting actress for the Oscars.

[B]

What are the Oscars?

[A]

March, I believe, next Sunday.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

So, yeah, I don't know who is allowed to start up a little thing on here. Like, presumably somebody gets on here and says, hey, anybody want some action on X, Y or Z? I think I might have said this on. On the show recently, but, you know, our friend television's Chris Hayes was talking about this stuff online because he had been on Colbert and there was. And they tape it, you know what I mean? Like it hadn't aired yet.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And there was this whole, like, betting market around if he was going to say, you know, recession or autocrat or whatever these things were. And he was saying, he said this, you know, online. He knew what he had said on the show. And by the way, all the producers did, Colbert did, the audience did, and none of this had aired. And there was almost a million dollars in action on what he was going to say when there were so many people that were in the room when he said the stuff. I mean, that's part of what's wrong with these things.

[B]

I saw something similar happen again regarding Chris because Chris had posted on Blue sky that he had pre taped an interview. I think it was his interview with the Minneapolis mayor, although I'm not 100% sure that. I'm pretty sure it was that. And Chris actually post posted a screenshot of Kelshi about The prediction market of things that would be brought up in the interview. And Chris posted this and said, we already recorded this interview. Like, this is in the can. People have heard this. You know, like, I don't remember. I'm not quoting him directly here. I'm paraphrasing. But, you know, I'm thinking about all the people involved in a big TV production like that interview. It's not just the interviewer and the interviewee who know what happened. It's everybody who is on set for that prerecorded thing. I don't know how many people are operating cameras or sound or whatever else goes on in television. Television. So I won't speak to that. But it just sort of. It just. It. It boggles the mind that that could be a predictive thing when it is a fact that is in the can.

[A]

Well, how about the person who made $400,000 on Maduro being deposed? You think that person didn't, like, work in the Pentagon or something or wherever? Those. You think that wasn't maybe the person who does the sock maintenance for Hegseth?

[B]

Yeah, his sockman. Yeah.

[A]

That's why I thought. I thought Aliyoop was a decent bet because there was no. Other than the announcers, again, who I think were in on it. I think they were in the pocket of big. No alley oop. Probably they were looking at it on their phone, and they were betting that nobody would say alley oop, and therefore they never said alley oop. One time a guy said flush, and I was like. Also known as alley oop. Alley oop.

[B]

What's an alley oops?

[A]

It's when one person throws the ball up in the air and the other person from their team jumps up and grabs it and dunks it.

[B]

And that happens a lot in NBA games. I always think of that as nobody plays defense anymore. Okay?

[A]

That's the most old man thing I've ever said. They let everybody travel and nobody plays defense. That's my read on the NBA.

[B]

Do you know the song Alley oop? It's really bad.

[A]

Like, as in it's racist?

[B]

No, it's just a really bad song. So, you know, that alley oop, aside from.

[A]

Sounds like it could have been from, like, the 1920s or something.

[B]

I mean. I mean, listen, dig far enough maybe, but that's not what I'm getting at here. But you know that alley oop, aside from being a move in basketball, and I don't know what came first, and maybe that's a stupid question to even have, but alley oop, Was the name of an old comic strip, right? About a caveman.

[A]

I did not know that.

[B]

Alley oop. I'm pretty sure. And I mean, I'm going to make a fool of myself here, but I guess that's what I get paid to do. If you were to ask me before this conversation, what came first, the basketball move or the strip? It would be the strip. And then, because I don't know when that's from, but I know it's old.

[A]

Literally no one was dunking when this comic was made because they only let white people play.

[B]

Yeah. Is this trip go back to the 30s or something? I don't even know.

[A]

It's like Bob Koozie with a flat top. Not dunking.

[B]

Now, there was a song about the caveman, and it was called Alley oop. Now, this is a song that I knew as an oldie when I was a kid. And when I was a kid, I liked songs that were, you know, kind of told a story or just a little bit on the edge of. What do we call songs that aren't necessarily parody songs, but they're like novelty songs even. I hated this song as a kid, and I don't know why. This is by the Hollywood Argyles. If this got. If this pulled off. I don't like the way he sings Lascivious. He lives way back a long time ago.

[A]

He don't eat nothing but a bear

[B]

Cat stew that's kind of good. Well, this cat's name is.

[A]

I hope you take this in the spirit that it's intended, but I'm a little surprised you didn't like that song, because there are some other songs that feel to me like in the neighborhood of that. That you kind of.

[B]

I thought maybe did like, like that song. See, I think both of these songs, the one I'm trying to think of right now,

[A]

it's not the zombie.

[B]

Lucky Ladybug was a song and this song, and I think both of them were on 40 fives that my mom had. And by the way, we played that Lucky Ladybug song on the show one time. The version I had and liked was fine. But then we also found a version that did have a racist word in it. I don't know if you recall that whole saga. Anyway, it doesn't matter. But that is not the version I grew up with. But Alley Oop and Lucky Ladybug were both on 45, probably my mom's 45 collection that I sort of ended up with at one point. And I loved Lucky Ladybug. There are some Female vocals on there that I really love. And this song just gave me the bad feeling all the way through. I don't like the way.

[A]

Totally gives me a bad feeling. But that's the kind of. You know what, somebody point. I think it was Pete Holmes. This is a slight departure from. From the Alley OOP song, but it's in the neighborhood of, like, songs that are. The messaging is weird. And he was pointing out how. How weird. The song I'm on Fire by Bruce Springsteen is a song that I really love, but it is really creepy.

[B]

I don't think I know it. I'm not a Springsteen fan.

[A]

Hey, little girl, is your daddy home? Did he go and leave you all alone? I got a bad desire oh, oh, oh I'm on fire yeah, that's rough. It's really.

[B]

Doors, kiddo.

[A]

Unfortunately, the song slaps and I really like the song. And there are many good covers of the band. Chromatics does a great cover of it. But it had never occurred to me just how it's sort of like that, you know, what's your name? Who's your daddy? Is he rich like me? Or whatever that is. That. Is that the Zombies?

[B]

I don't think it's the Zombies. It could be. That's that the Season of Loving. Yeah. It's almost like two songs in one. Right. The way it has that huge, like, both tempo and mood change in that song. I kind of like that song. But it is. It is a weird one. I understand why that would hit you wrong.

[A]

Yeah. And the Bruce Springsteen one, I actively like that song. And now it's been ruined for me by Pete Holmes.

[B]

So. Speaking of the Boss, you think you're right. It's the Zombies. By the way, time of the Season is the name of it. So that's a win for you. And I tried to deny you that.

[A]

You could really use a win here.

[B]

You could really use a win here.

[A]

After my Kalshi. After my recent Kalshi lost, you know, that was.

[B]

That was a little Alley oop. I said I threw it up and you dunked it.

[A]

You lobbed it and I flushed it.

[B]

Wait. For some reason I'm on your team, but I actually blocked you first, which I actually did. Last time I played whirlyball, I had such an amazing block. Somebody had, like, a shot on goal or whatever you call it. And I had such amazing block. And then everybody looked at me like, why would you do that to your own player? And I was like, ah, that wasn't great. Bruce Springsteen. I'm Going to put him in a category of, let's see, Bruce Springsteen, the band, rush, the band, U2, all of these bands, they have very little in common, except their fan bases adore them, and I wish I did, too. I don't have any specific reason why. I don't particularly get into these bands, but like Bruce Springsteen, I think Bruce Springsteen may be number one on that list because so many people I know and who I share a lot of musical taste with love him and have a deep appreciation for his vast catalog of work and what he, you know. And also, you know, what it says about the world, what his lyrics mean, all that stuff. There's, like, a lot there. And I'm always thinking, you know what? I'm gonna give it a shot. But then a song comes on. I'm like, not for me. I don't know why. Don't like.

[A]

I don't like Hungry Heart doesn't do it for you.

[B]

Don't like the. I don't like the vocal stylings. Quite literally. Like, it's just not my style of vocals. And I don't like a beat, big band sound. I don't like mixing horns and guitars. It's like chalk. It's, like, sweet.

[A]

You're not an east street band guy.

[B]

I'm not. And I want to be. By the way. I'm not saying this as a hater, except that I hate myself.

[A]

You know, I can see your point, because a lot of it, particularly the kind of Born in the USA era, it is a little, you know, it's. Yeah, it's kind of cheesy. Again, don't come for me, please. Springsteen heads. But. But the other thing about. About Bruce Springsteen fans is very few people are like, just like, I'm good with Bruce Springsteen. It's either like, you don't. You're not that interested. Like, you are not. Or you are obsessed. Like, it's almost your whole personality. So people don't take it particularly well when you say, I don't like Bruce Springsteen.

[B]

Yeah. And again. And I wouldn't even use the word cheesy. I don't know if it's cheesy, because it sort of sounds like there's. And that's one of the reasons why I wish I liked it more. I can't just dismiss it, you know what I mean, as something of its time because it spans. So his catalog spans such a long period of time. But I just can't. I want to be that person who can bro down with the Stubbot about or even You. Although, I mean, the Stubbot and I really have a thing going.

[A]

The whole Berman situation. David Berman.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Weren't you guys joking about Silver Juice

[A]

songs the other day?

[B]

Some David Berman stuff. But anyway. But yeah, I just. I can't hang. And at a certain point, you're kind of like, well, that's probably just not going to happen for me. And that's. And that's okay. That's fine.

[A]

The song Thunder Road by Bruce Springsteen is quite beautiful and has some very, very, like, some lyrics that really kind of like, you know, drop me to my knees. So I will give him that. But, yeah, the I'm on fire is now. It's off my list.

[B]

What I need is in sort of launch pad for my Bruce Springsteen fandom would be like a very accessible hero tale about him writing an album. Like a biopic. A specific biopic or something. Yeah, like the album.

[A]

Yes, Chef.

[B]

What I need is. You're right. The movie Nebraska is gonna make me a huge fan of Bruce Springsteen.

[A]

Well, it's got a Bruce in it.

[B]

It does have a Bruce in it. Absolutely. And we just saw recently Rest in Peace, Bruce Dern.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Did we? Cause we were talking about the burbs.

[A]

I want no part of speculating on Bruce Stern's whereabouts.

[B]

Get out your Kelshi account. Let me see here.

[A]

Run this 250.

[B]

And is. Give me an. Is Gibian. Is. Is an American actor. I am so glad to be wrong about that. I don't think. In your defense anymore.

[A]

In your defense, Bruce Dern on film has looked mostly dead for his last 20 film appearances, which is still mostly dead. Is still slightly alive. Mostly dead is still slightly Bruce Dern. He's saying, particularly in Nebraska.

[B]

He was clearly too bleed.

[A]

Especially too blaving in that movie. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[B]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set. Get set now. Ready?

[A]

Ready.

[B]

Go.

[A]

Everybody. Razzle dazzle. Hey, let's thank some dazzling donors. These fine, wonderful folks are donating dough to tbtl. And it's the way this can be. My job and Andrew's job and John Sklaroff's job. John, a newly minted double dog dad. Again.

[B]

Double dog dad.

[A]

A double dog dad. You.

[B]

I know you do.

[A]

Manon, they're insanely cute new puppy. John and Jess's cute little doggo. All of that is possible because of the donations from the TBTL listeners. Now, Andrew, you know, you and I in between, like setting up little Sound effects and stuff. We usually kind of take a little pause in the show. And once again, I think you saw me putting my, My, my face in my hands like this because I realized something and I. I could be wrong, but I don't think I am. Our first dazzling donor is our friend. Our friend and our friend, Pam Ketzner. Pam says Pam rhymes with Sam or Ham. And Pam is, of course, in Tacoma, Washington. I think Pam and I have had specific conversations about her love of Bruce Springsteen.

[B]

Oh, really? Yes.

[A]

How insane is that?

[B]

Well, I mean, listen, Pam.

[A]

Pam, get at me. Of all the days for us to take on the Boss, it's the day that we're also thanking, I believe, bonafide Bruce Springsteen fan Pam Ketzner.

[B]

Well, listen, I think that we were respectful. I mean, I think what I said was, this is good music. I acknowledge it as good music, but for whatever reason it hits. It's the way some people don't like. What is the seasoning that tastes like soap to some people. Looks like cilantro. Cilantro. And I love cilantro. Not enough to remember what it's called.

[A]

What about. Would you consider Steve Stringbean, who was a character on the show that I loved called Square One, which was a math show on pbs? They had a little. They had a thing called Math Net, which was their parody of Dragnet.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

And I mean, just to all my Square One heads out there, I mean, if, you know, you know, this show was so good because I like, it's like 2010 era earlier, because I would have been like in maybe grade school.

[B]

I know, sorry. Just make sure you're like a 30 year old just getting into Math Net there.

[A]

There are very likely math concepts that I should revisit by way of the television show Square One. But yeah, they had a parody show within the show Square One that was called Math Net, which was a parody of Dragnet. Obviously. Of course, at that time I had never seen Dragnet, so I didn't even know what they were, what they were doing a parody of. But it was so ingenious the way that they would use, you know, mathematical principles to solve crimes and things. And there was a guy who was named Steve Stringbeam, which is clearly a Bruce Springsteen ripoff, and I believe he had been kidnapped. And somehow I think Steve Stringbean was able to figure out where the kidnappers were taking him. He was in a van or something, and he was looking at, like a glass of celery juice. And based on what was going on with like, See, I have this glass. By the way, I'm sorry about my voice today, everybody. It's like, I don't know what's going on with me, but this glass of water that I have to try to counteract my scratchy voice. As the celery juice, as the van was going up hills, the water level in the celery juice was changing. And somehow that was like a principle of geometry. Like, you know, you do that sort of angle and time, etc. And you can figure out that was how, like, Steve Stringbean, I think, was able to, like, figure out where they had taken him or something.

[B]

Have we discussed why if you have a. Let's say a tennis ball on an airplane and you're in. You're in the front of the airplane and you toss it up if you're in first class. I literally couldn't think of the term first class. Why doesn't it go flying into the back of the airplane at a breakneck speed?

[A]

Is it because the cabin is pressurized?

[B]

I think it has to do with the fact that the plane. I mean, that might have something to do with it as far as it's not catching wind, but also it has to do with the fact that you were moving. I asked the question thinking I didn't know the answer, but now that I talk it out, I think I do know the answer.

[A]

You're busting this myth when you didn't. We have a mythbuster related intro. What's that from, by the way?

[B]

That's from Patriot. They're, like, dropping a safe. They're trying to drop a safe off

[A]

of a horse out of that hotel, like, hotel window.

[B]

One is on the ground and one is way up on a floor hanging out a window. And that's when they decide to have a conversation about MythBusters. A very. A very just mid conversation about MythBusters. But I guess it makes. I think it has to do with the fact that if I'm the one with the tennis ball, I'm also moving at that breaknet, breakneck speed, as is

[A]

everybody on the plane.

[B]

So when I throw the ball, the ball already has the speed.

[A]

It's already moving.

[B]

It's already moving. That makes sense. That makes sense. Anyway, it still seems like it should shoot to the back of the plane just for funsies.

[A]

Critically, what we've done is created a little distance between when we were dissing Bruce Springsteen and when we are thanking Pam Ketzner.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

In Tacoma, Washington, Pam says, I am approaching my 6th anniversary of listening to TBTL I had just retired after 40 years of being a registered nurse and decided to check it out. I enjoy listening to it later in the evening when I want to relax on my bed with Sully, my 6 year old chocolate lab and Coco, my 14 year old chocolate lab on the floor so she knows where I am. Remember when Sully landed that plane? I mean nobody could believe that a chocolate lab was able to do that.

[B]

I know, it was very, very impressive.

[A]

The miracle on the Hudson.

[B]

It was the fact that he was a chocolate lab was almost buried in the news coverage a little bit.

[A]

I felt like they just had another like miracle on the something or other over there. Another plane. It wasn't a huge commercial jetliner, but I think it was a private plane. Also crashed in. I don't know if it was the east river or the Hudson and everybody survived really. So if there is a river you want to crash in, it's pretty much that one.

[B]

I only fly there.

[A]

Pam says this is a big year for me. I turned 70 in April and I'm still running. My New York Yankee fan husband Kent and I celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary in January.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Love is a beautiful thing. That is incredible. That would be how many marriages? For me, probably 30 marriages.

[B]

It's just weird. Pam couldn't find a Mariners fan. Just seems a little bit strange to me. Like there's, it's just there's so many of us in Tacoma and you live in Tacoma and you're going out with a Kent. You're dating a, you're dating a Yankee fan?

[A]

Not just dated. I mean married.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Fully hitched to old Kent.

[B]

Interesting. I would just say keep looking. I mean I'm no disrespect to keep your options. Just keep, you know, keep the blinders off. I would say we had just dug

[A]

ourselves out of the Bruce Springsteen situation and now we're roasting her wonderful husband who I'm sure has been forced to listen to a lot of this dribble, drabble in his life. Kent probably wants no part of this.

[B]

Kent, I'm sorry.

[A]

Kent, we love you. We, we, we, we hate the sin, but we love the sinner.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

We hate that you love the Yankees,

[B]

but we love you. That's right.

[A]

Pam says I've been volunteering to get universal healthcare in Washington state with and this is a website, wholewashington.org okay. Currently spending time in Olympia speaking to our legislators. That is really awesome, Pam. Thanks for doing that important stuff. I enjoy running, hiking and being with my family. And of Course, listening to tbt. I'll keep up the great work. Luke, Andrew and John, you make me laugh and sometimes shaking my head no every day. Like when you talk about Bruce Springsteen

[B]

or my husband, I don't think today you'd have your have to shake your head about anything.

[A]

Of all them on this the day. That's my Bruce Springsteen impression. Pam says power out. Well, Pam, for real, thank you so much for being such a, you know, a friend of the show. And I remember when Pam came into our orbit. I can't believe it's been six years because I remember, I think maybe I was on Facebook at the time. I was on the TBTL page for one reason or another. And again, I literally think maybe the first thing that Pam reached out to me about was Bruce Springsteen related and the Yankees in an email. And the Yankees.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Thanks, Pam. We really do appreciate you. Maestro, on your mark.

[B]

On your mark. Get set now. Ready, ready, go.

[A]

Everybody rattles Oye, oye, oye. All rise. That's not really how politics work exactly. But I'm just trying to be very formal because we're gonna thank our friend Jennifer Gregerson of Everett, Washington, one time mayor of Mukilteo.

[B]

Mukilteo. She is, as we say in the show, our mayor.

[A]

That's right. Along with Nigel Herzhonner. They would call her in the, in the New York Post. I was actually, I have to be honest with you, I thought it was. I appreciated that the New York Post also call calls Zoran Mamdani His Honor. Oh, that's what they call every mayor of New York the New York Post. They will often call the person who is the mayor, which has it always been. Has there ever been a mayor who has been a woman of New York City?

[B]

You're asking yourself that, not me. Right?

[A]

I'm asking Jennifer Gregerson. Okay. I'm just going back in the. You know, the mayors that I can remember, you got David Dinkins, you've got Ed Koch, you've got, of course, the tall one.

[B]

I'm looking up the women who've led that great city. I'm guessing that there have not been any women mayors of New York City.

[A]

Well, they always call New York. The New York Post oftentimes refers to the person who is the mayor as his honor in like, like H I Z Z O N O R. Which is like the weirdest thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I like that they also did it for Zoron Mom, Donnie. Because I could see them, like, somehow thinking that that wasn't, you know, like we use that for everybody else, but we're not using that for. For mom Donnie.

[B]

We use that for whites.

[A]

We use that for Michael Bloomberg.

[B]

Right, exactly. But yeah, no, no women have ever held that office in New York. According to.

[A]

That's wild. Well, Jennifer, quick search. Give it a thought. I mean, you'll have to continue listening to TBTL and supporting the show, but maybe this is where you, you go full Mary Tyler Moore on it, you move to New York, you throw your hat in the air and you become her zhonr, the mayor of New York City. In the meantime, Jennifer says, I've been listening to TBTL Since April of 2011, which means you've been part of my life for well over a decade. Walks, commutes, good days, weird days and everything in between. Thanks, Luke, Andrew and John for continuing to do this show for so long and for somehow keeping it both comforting and surprising that Jennifer, that is maybe the highest compliment you can pay me. Because I was just thinking today, Andrew, as I was coming out here, I was like, like, is anyone going to listen to this? Is anyone going to listen to me once again on a Tuesday, hauling myself in here and talking about mowing my lawn, which by the way, we haven't even gotten to that. It was just yesterday was so perfect, except for my drone flying abilities, but it was just so beautiful and perfect. But I just feel like I don't know if I'm keeping it surprising anymore on the show. So to hear Jennifer say that, or maybe she's just referring to you, but whoever's keeping it surprising on the show. So I'm glad to hear it.

[B]

I mean, does it hurt my feelings that you had that thought on the day where we have a Andrew Walsh curated Columbo topic coming up for Top stories? Yeah, it hurts my feelings a little bit.

[A]

That may have actually been what she was referring to about in the future.

[B]

Comforting. Sir, Just one more thing. Comforting.

[A]

These high flying political types like Jennifer, they get information before the rest of us.

[B]

That is true. Would you look out, Kelsey?

[A]

Exactly. I need to get her helping with my cow. She bet. Jennifer says thanks for continuing to do what you do and somehow keeping it comforting and surprising. This year I've been playing a lot of Pokemon Go.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

I just found out the other day, Andrew, that that's still happening because one of Becca's co workers, her co workers, she went to Los Angeles to participate in a Pokemon Go tournament.

[B]

Really? Was it?

[A]

I see you have your phone. Do you have it active on your phone?

[B]

No, I've never Had it active on my phone. I was gonna.

[A]

What about when we did it on the show?

[B]

You put it on your phone and I don't know if that was. Maybe they didn't have it on your phone for Android, or maybe we just decided that you were gonna be the one because. Yeah, why wouldn't we have both downloaded and had fun? But I don't think I ever had that on my phone. But I'll always remember we were in my Wallingford apartment, like the studio there, when we started the conversation. Then you opened up your phone, you downloaded the app, and then we found

[A]

right up on either.

[B]

Yes, it was corner there. And it was like they're around us at all times. We're just not seeing them. It blew our minds.

[A]

And then we went. Did we go to Gasworks Park?

[B]

We did. We most certainly went to Gasworks Park. I remember exactly where we parked, and I think we had a microphone. And did we talk to. I feel like somebody came up to us at one point and asked us what we were doing, and I think they might have been looking for Charmanders, too, as well.

[A]

Everybody was doing it at the time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what Mayor Jennifer Gregerson never said, and this is why she won. She never said, pokemon, go to the polls.

[B]

To the polls. I still have that. I still have that in my audio library, and it brings me much sadness.

[A]

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff like that that was funny and now is not as funny. I've been enjoying Everett. I've been hanging out with my cat, Crookshanks, and spending time with my partner, Paul. We love Paul, by the way.

[B]

Yes, we do. Paul is roots for the Mariners, probably.

[A]

I feel like every time I hang out with Paul, he's mogging me

[B]

because

[A]

he is so flipping handsome. It's like, really, honestly, it's an unpleasant experience to stand near him because of the vast, the stark difference in our appearances.

[B]

I know that you're saying it in the envelope of compliments, but so far I've told one dazzling donor husband. And then you say you don't like standing next to Jennifer's partner. We're not, you know, we are keeping it surprising today. Maybe not comforting. Maybe not comforting, but definitely surprising.

[A]

There you go. Jennifer says Paul is a strong 11 who will occasionally ask me to save episodes so he can listen to Paul. Thanks, man. TBTL is almost always in my ears, and I'm incredibly grateful this show is still here and that you're still doing it. Thanks for all of it. Well, Jennifer, thank you for being Such a longtime listener and friend of the show and attendee of our events and donor to the program and just all around amazing person.

[B]

Don't move on too quickly here. I want to share one more thing, a little lagniope, especially since we're doing everything we can to neg our dazzling donors today. I thought this was really sweet. I got an email from our friend Heidi out in Minnesota a couple of weeks ago, just kind of checking in on things. We had talked about a town she had grown up in, and it was just sort of weighing in on that. But then at the very end, writes one more thing since I'm rambling. Anyway, I was hanging out with a friend in a bar in Minneapolis and she mentioned her middle school in Mukiltea, Washington. And I said, I know the mayor of there. Parenthetically, of course I don't, but I know the name from several mentions on your show.

[A]

She said, good memory, Heidi, by the way. That's like hearing that someone was the mayor of Bemidji and remembering that.

[B]

And this person she was talking to said, oh, Jennifer Gregerson. Turns out they were good friends growing up there. So I was caught not actually knowing someone from the show that I've just heard of a lot. Anyway, love the TBTLiverse so much, so I thought that was really sweet, too. So just so you know, Jennifer, my mayor, that you are being. Maybe your ears were burning a little bit hers on her. Maybe her ears were burning a little bit in that moment. And that is why it's because people know you and love you all around the world. Great country of ours.

[A]

There are dozens of us.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Dozens. Thank you, Jennifer.

[B]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[A]

All right, Andrew, let's get into this whole Columbus situation.

[B]

Let's do it. So Genevieve and I were playing cards, I think, Sunday night or something like that, and Genevieve put on a random Colombo episode. Now, the Colombo episode that she put on is from 1991. And so it's, you know, kind of later in the game for Columbo things in some of these Columbos, things start falling off a little bit in the 90s.

[A]

Can I ask a quick question? Is this the era of Columbo where it's like a Sunday night movie kind of thing?

[B]

I think it always was, I believe, Columbo. Yeah. So even when you look at like quote unquote seasons of Columbo, usually a season, only it has a pretty small amount of episodes in there because I think Columbos, even in their height were like maybe once a month On Sunday night or something along the lines of that. I might be getting some of the details wrong, but that's essentially it. It was never a weekly show, so far as I know. And so. And then as things like. I think the height of it was like 70s and 80s, I'm going to say. So then in the 90s, they became. Became way more few and far between, I think. And then he even made a couple in the 2000s. I actually happened to catch a few minutes of the very last episode recently. Now, I want to set this up. I don't know if this is the right time to say this or not, but the fact that it's in 91, I think, is a little bit. Sheds a little bit of light on what I'm about to tell you that I saw. Because I think by 91, Columbo was already like an icon, you know, and like beloved in this way that it was. It could be a little bit more. I'm going to use the term self referential a little bit. I think it was a little bit like, hey, we're not making these things as much, but, like, everybody knows Colombo Columbo is probably just a stand in. In vocabulary in the culture at this point. And so if we're only making like, let's say, a few of these a year in the 90s, Peter Falk is probably just running the show, even if he's not actually running the show. I was telling you about one with Faye Dunaway that he directed, which I had never seen his name, which was pretty racy, Right? It was a little sexy. Yeah. And this woman, the Faye Dunaway character, kept hitting on him. It was interesting that the one that he ran had him kissing one of the most beautiful women in the world a lot. This one was not directed by him. But I'm just setting this up to say I think that maybe at this point, maybe if he just had a wild.

[A]

Ernest Borgnine has a crush on him. Right. So he wasn't directing it.

[B]

That's right. It was an interesting episode. But anyway, so this is 1991. The name of the episode is Columbo and the Murder of a Rock Star. Not the most creative title in the world. It's got Dabney Coleman in it. Okay.

[A]

Hot to trot.

[B]

Oh, my God. So this is not the best episode of Columbo I've ever seen, but it is the best criminal, the best suspect in these episodes. I think I've said this before.

[A]

Played by Dabney Coleman.

[B]

Played by Dabney Coleman. We see him, you know, commit a murder. We mostly see him. We see him set it up, sort of. We can get into the details of it, although it doesn't really, really matter. I will say this, though. I think I've told you this before, that Genevieve actually wants to start a podcast about this called the Columbo Lawyer. I think Genevieve and I love Columbo, but the most frustrating thing about watching it is how dumb the suspects get once Columbo starts questioning them. Because you'll see them set up in the best episodes, they'll set up this whole elaborate plan to, like, obfuscate murder and obfuscate and then do all these things. Sometimes, as Genevieve says, it's just a crime of passion. And that's less fun because Columbo is up against less cleverness. Right. But the thing is, you can have these really smart criminals who go through all of this, just like, they think about every little detail, they commit the murder. Then Columbo finally ambles in. 45, 50 minutes into the show, they

[A]

sing like a bird.

[B]

Well, he starts. They don't sing like a bird. He starts asking questions. Ah, you know, that's just one thing. You said you were drinking a cup of coffee at the time, but that clock stopped at 2:15. And, you know, you said you don't like coffee in the afternoon. You know, there'll be some sort of. He catches them like that, and then instead of just saying, oh, yeah, I don't know what's up with that, or I broke my routine, they come up with some ridiculous excuse. They start, like, writing the lie from, well, oh, yes, of course, Columbo. Well, you see, Lieutenant Colombo, everybody knows that my daughter was drinking the. Like, they'll just make up this stupid, stupid lie. And it's kinda like, no, what a suspect should say is like, oh, I want a lawyer, or just like, oh, yeah, I don't know about that. If I have any more information, I'll let you know. It's my wife who's dead. You know what I mean? I kind of messed up that example by making it sound like it was me drinking the coffee. But it could just be something like, well, if the murderer really did drive down this street at this time, how could they have left the car at this intersection? And you should say, gosh, I don't know, Columbo, it sounds like you're really onto something there. Please let me know if anything develops. But instead they're compelled to say, well, maybe the murderer was driving under the speed limb. And they'll create and it's just like, shut up, shut up. Let limbo do it.

[A]

Exactly. What a defense attorney would say was, first of all, just don't talk to the cops and don't get locked into a story.

[B]

Yeah. Don't start telling a story. Let him figure it out and just be helpful. I will say this. Dabney Coleman is the best suspect in Columbo I've ever seen because he's playing a guy who is a suspect and a murderer, but he's also like the world's best defense attorney. And he has actually represented many, many, many people. And apparently nobody that he's represented has ever gone to prison for, I think, murder. And so, like, he knows not to engage. There's one moment where he sort of, maybe he's like, help him out of Lee Bailey. Yeah, he's just like of lawyers. He is so smart, in fact. And again, kind of going back to Columbo at this point already being an iconic and being self referential, being an icon and being self referential. The only time somebody says, oh, one more thing. It's Dabney Coleman who says it to Columbo. It's pretty.

[A]

That's clever.

[B]

It's pretty clever because he thinks he just got away with it. He just got a slam dunk that involved. I don't want to spoil the whole thing. He just got an alley oop that actually involves traffic cameras tied to our conversation from yesterday. He thinks that he has created an alibi for himself because he was caught on a traffic camera at the time of the murder. And I won't tell you how he got away with that, but when it looks like he's about to walk free, he turns around and goes to Columbo. Oh, Columbo, one more thing. And I can't remember what he says then, but it's pretty baller. I mean, honestly, Dabney Coleman is so damn good in this episode that has nothing to do with the mystery. At one point, Columbo comes to the crime scene and he's investigating, investigating in the kitchen. He's looking at these bottles of champagne, one of which was.

[A]

Is Little Richard the rock star who passes away?

[B]

No, but I forgot Little Richard is in this. In a, in a cameo that I would describe. Unless Pam is a big fan of Little Richard, I would say difficult. Sure, let's. Let's just go with difficult. It's a pretty rough cameo. In fact, you can tell that the. It was a tough day of shooting because the style of directing totally changes when he's in there. I'm not, you know me. I'm not like a film buff. I don't know a lot of the inside story of how this stuff is done, but I noticed that when Little Richard, he's on the screen for a split second and he's just doing some really poor acting. But then they extend the scene into his dressing room with the third person. I can't remember exactly what's going on here, but I'm like, why are there so many close ups? And I think there's more adr. And I'm like, oh, man. They were just doing everything to make like he doesn't know how to act in front of the camera. Little Richard. Anyway, he's not the one.

[A]

Dialogue is whomp. Bombaloom.

[B]

Bomb it. Stand out.

[A]

Tutti frutti already.

[B]

Well, I don't know, Columbo. Maybe he whomped his boom bomb. Anyway, no, he's just a cameo that has nothing to do really with anything but Columbo. It's a. It's a woman who is. Was a former rock star or whatever, and she is. Is murdered. And she's murdered by Dabney Coleman, her partner. But he's trying to frame the guy that she's having an affair with, for whatever that's worth. So anyway, Columbo comes back and he's already been at the scene of the crime once, and he's kind of interested in these champagne corks because there's a big clue here. Then he comes back to the house by himself after the police have all cleared out, or it's a couple of days later, there's no more police tape. It's just him and this overly cranky housekeeper. I don't understand why they had to make her so cranky. I kind of liked her. But anyway, she's given him, like, the evil eye while he's like, I don't know, Dustin for fingerprints or something in the kitchen. But it is so distracting because when he shows up in this scene, which is mostly him and just this housekeeper, he is wearing a big black baseball cap, the kind of structured kind that are very much like a MAGA hat, only this is a black hat.

[A]

Does it say NFL?

[B]

It says N F I in big block letters. Like, literally, like MAGA letters. Black hat, white letters. Nfi.

[A]

I was making a Rob Lowe joke.

[B]

I know.

[A]

He literally has NFI on it.

[B]

It has nfi. I mean, it looks like he's about to say, we just dropped bombs on Iran. You know what I mean? It's like that kind of hat. It is so big and so unlike Columbo's style. But nobody in the tv. I think he only wears it in this scene. He maybe wears it in the next scene as well. Nobody acknowledges it. We've been watching Columbo for decades at this point. He's got a very distinct look. Some little boys even dressed up like him in the 80s to do their book reports at school with a fake cigar made out of brown construction paper. We know his look. Why is he suddenly where. It's almost like, you know how sometimes in cop movies the local cops will have to work maybe with the DEA or something like that, or everybody has to wear their big hat. So it says it's like a de hat, sort of, only it says nfi. But there's nobody else around wearing this hat. He's not like working with other cops who are wearing it. It is so distracting. So I start Googling around what is up with this Colombo NFI hat and the Internet? This is where the mystery comes in. Because the Internet thinks it has an answer, but I don't know. Yes. I mean, it is impossible. Are you Googling it, by the way? Just type in Columbo NFI hat and look at this damn thing.

[A]

Well, I just want to support you on this because the first thing I did was just google Columbo image search. And I am looking at literally hundreds of photos of Peter Falk. He is not wearing a hat in one of them.

[B]

He doesn't wear hats.

[A]

There is zero track record of hat wearing for this character.

[B]

Exactly. And so I'm like, what is with this NFI hat? I come across some reviews of the, like just kind of recaps of the episode that will just parenthetically, like literally parenthetically, just sort of say Columbo comes in in this scene parenthetically wearing an inexplicable. Like, it is so distracting. It is. It's really distracting. Right. It is not subtle in any way and never addressed in the TV show. But the problem is, and I want to stop everybody who is about to email me because they googled it and they think they know the answer. Everything points back to one story that somebody typed on IMDb. And now this seems to, according to the Internet, this is just canon. Whenever you Google this, some people will reprint this story, some people will link to this story, some people will tell another first person story that is similar to this but slightly different. And I'm going to read this whole thing here. And just for the record, I don't think I believe this. That's where I'm going with this. This the NFI hat. At one point in this episode, Columbo, right? This is from the original poster who posted this on IMDb underneath this particular episode's title, Colombo arrives at the scene of a crime to examine some champagne corks. It's raining outside and he's led in by the maid, who's extremely annoyed by his presence. I've covered all of this. He comes through the door wearing a black trucker cap reading NFI and big white letters. This is the episode my great uncle Marty told me about when I was 10 years old, visiting him in Malibu with my brother and grandmother. I gotta say, I like the dazzling details. He told my brother and I that he and Peter Falk had hung out at some point and that my Uncle Marty had been wearing his NFI hat. I don't have any idea where he got it. Peter Falk, being an inquisitive guy, asked my great uncle, so what does NFI stand for? To which Marty answered, no effing idea. Nfi. Peter Falk apparently thought this was so funny that he just had to wear the hat. In the episode he was currently filming, my great uncle even showed us a picture of him and Falk together wearing matching NFI hats. We always liked this story, but because he never told us the title, we could never find the episode. And I was starting to think it didn't really exist until very recently. I found it in the complete Columbo set. This probably means nothing to anyone else, but it made me hoot with joy. Overall, a fun episode with one very special scene of Colombo examining corks and questioning an angry maid, all the while wearing an NFI hat. Now, where do I get one of those hats? And you can buy them online now. But according to this person, it was just like a parody hat, like an NFI hat.

[A]

You're.

[B]

I could see a very, you know, an avuncular person wearing it. You know, somebody in your family who wears goofy hats. People ask, what is NFI stand for? You say, no, I have an idea. And then everybody in the room laughs. Do you believe this particular story that one person wrote on IMDb? And now every research points back to this.

[A]

Just one more theory. I have a theory. I think that Peter Falk suffered some sort of head injury. I think he had something going on where he didn't want. He was hiding something. Maybe he'd had a surgery. Maybe he. He had fallen down rollerblading. Something had happened to Peter Falk that. But they had to shoot and he was trying to hide that under the hat.

[B]

That's interesting. I think, though, if that were the case, don't you think that the props department, or the. I guess, what would you call it, the costume department would find not. Yeah. Or are you just teasing or is that really.

[A]

No, no, no. Actually, as. No, no.

[B]

You.

[A]

You're pointing out some of the holes in my theory. I hadn't thought of it that way.

[B]

It just doesn't match his thing at all. I do sort of believe. Here's where I am on this. I do think that it was something that Peter Falk just thought was funny and he had enough juice just to say, I'm gonna wear this on set. Cause it's 91 at this point. Who's saying no to Peter Falk? He's already. He's already been in the Princess Bride. Right.

[A]

Like, I feel like the Washington Huskies are co national champs with Miami. It was a wild time.

[B]

Yeah. He was also wearing a national champion

[A]

during a Steve Emmantman jersey.

[B]

That's what I meant to say there. Exactly. Just place my bet on Kelsey for him to win mvp. Anyway, there was. I'm looking for this now and I kind of can't find it on the fly. It doesn't matter. But one thing that I like is I mostly do not believe this IMDb thing. Like, I feel like I don't believe it at all. Except there's one other liar on the Internet who I believe less. And they basically tell a first person story about like their uncle or grandfather or somebody being on set and working with folk and wearing the hat and then him taking it and wearing it on set. And that one I believe even less. But it does sort of bother me that this seems like a real mystery that continues, but the Internet just thinks it's solved because one person without any guardrails. Like, this isn't Wikipedia. Right. This has become the source and it kind of. Well, it bothers me.

[A]

I mean, they have no flipping idea what they're talking about.

[B]

I mean, I just kind of. Yeah, I wish that we had more clarity on this. If any of the. If any of our listeners want to like, kind of dig a little bit deeper on this NFI hack, please get at me because I don't know that I have the, I guess the Columbo skills to get to the bottom of this. I do think it's also interesting that this mystery, which I consider to be a pretty real mystery, does come from a mystery show.

[A]

I mean, the issue is that there is probably at this point not There are probably very few people that were associated with that episode who are alive. Unless there was like a kid, you know, or a very young person in one of the scenes. And they probably weren't being looped in on what was going on with the hat. Like the people that would know. Unfortunately, I think the truth of this story is maybe passed away with the people who were working on the show or who were. Peter Falk. We may never know the answer.

[B]

What I do like is that I'm on something called. I think this is called the Columbo Forums right now. No, the other. No, sorry, not proper enough. The Lt. Colombo forum is what I'm on. And back in 2013, people were debating this. Actually, it looks like this is a conversation that started in the early 2000s and stretched into the 2000 teens. And one person is saying, you know, it probably stood for the National Fatherhood Institute. Other people thought it had something to do with the National Fisheries. Somebody said, it's in my country, the Netherlands Forensics Institute, which stands for the National Institute of Forensic of the Netherlands. But then somebody else scoped all this out and said, well, this one was founded here. The Fathers Institute was founded at this point and like did a timeline and none of them would really line up with that being a hat in 1991. I do think it probably was a parody hat.

[A]

What about the National Fireplace Institute?

[B]

That would be my next guess.

[A]

Was the person who was killed. Were they stuffed into a fireplace?

[B]

They were not stuffed. That's grim. That's grim.

[A]

Well, I was just trying to think. I'm just looking up things that are nfi, right?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, I see. I can't get into this Facebook post. Facebook has got me locked out.

[A]

Nationwide forest inventory.

[B]

That, that could. That could be it. Yeah. I'm not getting any more answers, so I'm gonna stop. Oh, then somebody posted a photo of him putting. He does this thing. I've seen him do it in one episode. I don't know if he does it in many episodes, but he makes himself peanut butter and raisin sandwiches. What do you think of that?

[A]

Well, you know, there is that thing called ants on a log.

[B]

Oh, yeah. On a celery stick.

[A]

Peanut butter on a celery stick with raisins.

[B]

Yeah, I guess you're just. You're replacing the. I'm seeing a photo here of him basically making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. But replace the jelly with sprinkling raisins from that little sun made box on the peanut butter.

[A]

As you wish.

[B]

This is.

[A]

I'M fascinated by this as you are, Andrew, and as Genevieve is, presumably because. Yeah. What? I don't believe that story that he just thought NFI was a funny hat. But, like, what was going on? And. Yes, how did Peter Falk have enough? I mean, I guess I know how he had enough juice. He was Colombo at this point. But for him to just go, let me just. This one week, Colombo's gonna be wearing a hat that has two cans of beer in it, two straws, and nobody

[B]

say anything about it.

[A]

Right? Like, that must have driven everyone crazy. Think about how many people were working on this again, how many people in the costume department, the makeup, the directors, the writers, the other actors, everybody was doing their best to the Dabney Coleman's every. The Dabneys Coleman. Everyone was doing what they could to make this an amazing couple of hours of tv. And then Peter Falk just rolls in with like. Like the surveillance cowboy hat that Homer wears when he's trying to bust the Kwik E Mart.

[B]

Right? And there's no explanation there. And, you know, the one person I think I can agree with on all of this, they deleted their account on Reddit, maybe because they didn't stand by this, but I stand by this statement they made. Covering that gorgeous head of hair is quite a shame, though, and I think we can all board with that.

[A]

I wonder if Fred Savage knows. I wonder if while they were shooting the Princess Bride, at some point when they had some downtime.

[B]

Well, your timeline was gonna be wrong on that, right? Oh, because it had 89. Yeah.

[A]

And hadn't worn the hat yet.

[B]

Again, some Kelshi stuff. I don't know.

[A]

What is your theory, by the way, if you don't believe my theory? Well, he had a head injury.

[B]

I. This is where I'm a little bit wishy washy on this.

[A]

More importantly, what's Genevieve's theory?

[B]

I don't know that Genevieve has a theory. I think Genevieve's like, please, it's your turn. Just go. Like, we're playing cards. Like, please put down the phone for a second and just go. I'm sick. It's. Genevieve will just sometimes say, we play gin rummy. And she'll just say, you know, it's your turn, right? I'm like, yes, I'm organizing my cards. Imagine playing cards with me, Luke. Everything has to be very organized. But I do think that. I do think it's like a novelty hat that Columbo wanted to wear. I don't believe this. One person online, I. Let me put it this way. Way. I think it was a whim of Peter Falk. That's all I'm going to say is a whim of Peter Falk. I don't know if it was to cover up something that I don't guess. I don't go there right away. I think he got a kick out of it and nobody said no to him. But I want, like, I want to hear it from somebody who worked on the show. Like, I guess I'm frustrated by this conversation. Everywhere you find a search result on this, it all leads back to. People are like, oh, this has been answered. And it just points to somebody saying some shit on the Internet.

[A]

Who is the organization that he works for in the. He works on the show.

[B]

LAPD Murder. Yeah.

[A]

And he's not. And he's a detective. He's not a forensics guy, per se. It couldn't be like the National Forensics Institute or something.

[B]

Right. And again, you just sort of think that somebody would say, hey, nice hat. And he would say, yeah, the boss is making me wear it or something. Like, why would you put something so distracting in here without one line?

[A]

Well, this is why I agree with you. This is 100% Peter Falk's dad doing. Because nobody else would have thought this was a good idea and they couldn't have gotten it through. This is only the kind of thing that you can do when you are, as my dad likes to say, what, head chef and chief bottle washer or something?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. You're like kind of your cock of the walk on set. Right. And. And, you know, and whatever. Sadly, we do know that he ended up with some, you know, dementia and stuff later on. And so, you know, I kind of don't know what his state of mind was in the early 90s. I got to.

[A]

Was this one of the last ones that they made?

[B]

I think he made. I think the last one was like 2003. So. So that's why I maybe want to be beep, beep my way out of the statement that I just made, because I think so he's got still like another decade plus of making occasional episodes. Very occasional.

[A]

If there's one thing our listeners like doing, Andrew, it's getting obsessed with something. And so I would love to see our listeners turn their hive mind towards this and try to figure this out.

[B]

Here I go once again with the email. Every week, I hope that it's from a female. Oh, man. It's not from a female.

[A]

All right, Emails or vmails as we wind things down today.

[B]

Yes, I have a very interesting follow up here on a conversation that we had on the show yesterday regarding a ticket that Genevieve got in the mail. And she got this ticket because she and I were chasing a city bus in our little Volkswagen Golf a few weeks ago because Genevieve had left her phone on that bus. And we were chasing down the bus so that Genevieve could retrieve her phone, which she ended up doing successfully. And then a couple of weeks later, Genevieve got a ticket in the mail because we were driving in bus only lanes. In fact, we were driving in an area where there are no car lanes at all. It's all bus lanes. And we knew we were doing something wrong, but we were like, well, we got to get that phone back. So. So we get the phone back, and then Genevieve gets this ticket in the mail saying, hey, listen, here's a photo of your car in a bus only area. And I don't even know how much it's for, by the way. We'll find that out. I think we're gonna try to get Genevieve on the show on Friday, by the way. And I'm telling the listeners that. Not you. You're in on that, Luke. But anyway, so Genevieve decided now on a couple of different levels to maybe challenge this ticket a little bit. So she said, you know what? I wanna have a hearing on this. We still don't know if the hearing is gonna be in person or via

[A]

person, because she wasn't traveling driving.

[B]

Because a couple of things. Number one, she's like, there are some mitigating circumstances the. The city might want to hear about. But also, she wasn't driving. And that's what. It kind of took me a while to get there until we were talking about it this weekend. I'm like, viv, this will be great. This is a moving violation. Like, this is something that would go on your record. This is not legal. If you're not behind the wheel, you just say, hey, listen, done deal. I wasn't behind the wheel. You can't give me a moving violation, can't affect my insurance rates, all of. Of that stuff.

[A]

It's Shaggy V. Was it him?

[B]

Wasn't me.

[A]

In the case of Shaggy V. Was it him?

[B]

Now, I got this note from Julia, which was, with all due respect to Julia, a bit of a bummer. It's actually really interesting and informative.

[A]

Is Julia the sister of Genevieve?

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. I got this note from Julia, and it just says, nana, your sister Julia.

[A]

Hey, Jude.

[B]

Oh, I know. I realized I was doing. I was trying to make a nan and, like, Siblings teasing each other. But I think that fell flat. Julia says, hey, Andrew, a couple of things from someone who does this a lot. Number one and most important, drives in

[A]

the bus lanes a lot.

[B]

I guess so. Camera. Citations are not moving infractions. In the state of Washington, they're not moving infractions. I emphasize that wrong. This is because there's no picture of your face on the ticket. The presumptive driver is the registered owner, and it is usually mailed to both names on the registry. However, depending on what system the city of Seattle uses, it may only go to the first name on the registration, but both would be liable for it. Therefore, in this instance, a declaration of non responsibility saying that Genevieve wasn't the driver would not make the ticket go away because you were the driver and also a registered owner. Owner. It's still worth requesting a hearing. As far as I know, every city of Seattle infraction hearing can be responded to by mail request. Mitigation. Explain the situation. And I have a feeling your ticket will be cut down by roughly half if Seattle follows the trend of other courts. But Genevieve's perfect driving record will remain intact regardless of the route you go. The way I explain it to people is a parking ticket equals a camera ticket treated the same in Washington. Best of luck. So in other words, words, if you're caught on camera doing something like this, it's not considered a moving violation. It's more along the lines of a parking ticket in that case doesn't go on insurance, and it doesn't matter who was driving. It just means the car broke the rules.

[A]

But you could have loaned your car to someone who is not you or Genevieve, and the car doesn't get the ticket.

[B]

Well, I think that that is what Julia is saying is I could loan my car to you, and you could park it and not pay the meter and get a ticket. And then I could say, yeah, but I wasn't driving. Luke was. And the city would say, I don't care. Just like Tommy Lee Jones in the Fugitive. I didn't park that car. I don't care. That's my invitation of Tommy Lee Jones. But you see what I'm saying.

[A]

I wonder if they've changed that policy, though, since whenever it was, I was tangled up in it because you used to be able to just say, I wasn't driving. And I won't tell you who was driving. And they couldn't at the time, like, attach the ticket just to the cars. I wonder if that policy has changed because everybody was doing that.

[B]

Maybe I'M not sure. I'm just sort of. Why am I trusting Julia?

[A]

Julia has the air of a person who knows what they're talking about.

[B]

Yet I totally don't believe that. Maybe Julia knows what's up with that NFI hat of Columbos. In fact, now that I think about it, Julia get back to me on that. For some reason, it just. I don't know why. I don't know what her bona fides are, but I'm all in on this. I could sort of see this happening. So I'm gonna send this to Genevieve, because if Genevieve plans on getting the whole thing thrown up, I think saying it wasn't me, as we were saying, and they say I don't care. Like Tommy Lee Jones says, well, then where are we now?

[A]

Right? Because this. If. If what Julia is saying is true, which is that the registered owners of the vehicle can be given a ticket regardless of if they were the ones operating the vehicle, then the whole, you know, a one armed man stole my car and drove it through the bus lane. Just keep it on the fugitive thing.

[B]

Yeah. Thank you. I appreciate that.

[A]

Actually, you know, like, then that. That kind of invalidates the whole thing, which I'm really looking forward to Genevieve looking that magistrate dead in the eye and just lying through her teeth. That's what I was excited about. But it sounds like there's no reason to do that.

[B]

Yeah, well, there's. But also, there was. Genevieve did not want to lie. She said, the first thing is, I'm not gonna lie. I'm just gonna tell the truth. And I wasn't behind the wheel. And also, I'm not gonna tell you who was behind the wheel. But it sounds like. So she is will.

[A]

I mean, I will get this on Friday, I guess, but she is at the point where she's willing to say to the person, I'm not comfortable telling you who was, in fact, driving.

[B]

I don't know yet. We will find out about that on Friday. I just sent her the note. When she's on the show, we'll ask her about that. I haven't run that past her yet. When I talked to her about this, this weekend, she just said, I. I'm just going to say I wasn't driving. You know, it was my partner. And that. And that was the plan. No lying and no even, like, kind of standing up and then saying, I won't answer your question with the information that you have given me. And, well, now. And then with this new information from Julia, I don't know what Genevieve is

[A]

going to say, would you consider representing her as her attorney? Kind of a Clarence Darrow type of thing. Kind of an Inherit the Wind. Except you address the the court and say we've got to separate facts from fertilizer here.

[B]

I like the idea of me going to the Shoreline Goodwill right now this afternoon and buying mismatched pieces of suit that are both oversized and undersized in different places and showing up with a briefcase with a half eaten apple in

[A]

it, if it please the court.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

Hey, speaking of tickets, I've got a little update on my. Remember how I got a parking ticket that was literally, for the first time in my life, Andrew, totally and completely an inappropriate ticket?

[B]

Which is to say I had paid

[A]

the media and got a ticket for a time that was during the duration of time I had paid. I kept thinking, I kept double checking the time on when they issued the ticket and the time on my parking kitty little receipt and then looking at the particular code on the sign in the area we were in, I kept thinking I missed something here. And I didn't. They just for some reason gave me this ticket for no reason. So I called yesterday. Now you know how a parking ticket works. There's the little thing you can fill out on the back. You can ask for a hearing. You can, you can just pay it, you can, you can challenge it. And so I decided to just call them to try to get some clarity. And when I tell you, Andrew, I got the nicest, best person ever. I don't know who needs to hear this. I don't know if this will ever get back to this very nice woman who works for the, like, Portland. Like, she's like the clerk of the Portland parking ticket line that you call. She was incredible. Some of the best customer service I've ever gotten in my life. Because also, she's not the magistrate, right? So she's like. I kind of felt a little bit sheepish about trying to like, sort of argue the case with her because, like, she doesn't. She, again, she's not the one who's rendering a judgment. She's a person who's, you know, you know, answering the phones and kind of traffic copying. But, like, I don't know if she cares about. Well, I paid and they gave me a ticket and whatever. But she was so nice. She told me exactly where to go on the website.

[B]

Luke, I need to interrupt you for one second because I'm getting a phone call and this is something else I wanted to talk to you about. TV show breaking news can you see who this is? I don't know if you can read that. I'm trying to hold up the camera, but it's not focusing properly.

[A]

Cauliflower Jones.

[B]

It is not Cauliflower Jones. Oh, I'm so sorry to interrupt you. I will explain more of this in a second. But that was my friends at Sweetwater Sound. Oh, calling me. Do you remember a whole. No. Do you. Do you remember our whole conversation about Sweetwater Sound?

[A]

Yeah, because they put candy in the. In the equipment and the box and

[B]

they called me during the show to see how I'm liking my new microphone stand. This was months and months ago.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I'm sorry, I'm told now I'll just do this quickly now and then we'll go back to your story. But that whole little ordeal, we thought it was so interesting. They called personally to ask, how is your microphone stand? I'm like, I don't know. It's a stand. It's working fine. I received so many emails and voicemails from listeners. You were on vacation. So we never readdressed it saying, no, listen, this is just what Sweetwater does. They send the candy, but they assign a specific person to you, a salesperson. And somebody said, my husband just bought guitar Stories strings. And they followed that. Yes. And one person wrote in to say they know that I don't like one kind of candy. And so when they put the candy in the bag for me, they never put in, like, I don't know, the. The whatever. They don't like the sweet.

[A]

The banana.

[B]

Nobody runs. But, yeah, apparently this is Sweetwater's whole thing. And I'll be honest with you. The reason they're calling now is. Is because. Play the tap sound effect or don't. But I lost a cord yesterday. This RCA to Mini Luke was crackling on me. And so I bought a new one and I went to Sweetwater. I was like, well, I could go to guitar center or whatever, but I'm like, no, you know what? I'm going to buy this from Sweetwater Sound because they were so top of mind from me, from sending me candy and from everybody saying, oh, yeah, they're literally the sweetest people around. And now here they are calling me the next day.

[A]

And you haven't even received the cable yet.

[B]

I haven't.

[A]

I haven't ordered it from them. But they're calling you before it even shows up to make sure you had a good experience.

[B]

And, oh, look at this. And I just got a text message from them as well. So when I bought this thing. It immediately said, when I got my receipt, it said, oh, your representative is this person named Sean. I'll say the full name. Sean Washington, a sales engineer at Sweetwater Sound. And the email follow ups I'm getting are from Sean directly. And when I didn't pick up my phone just now, they followed up with this text. Hey, it's Sean Sweetwater. Sorry we didn't get a chance to speak by phone. Just in case you don't receive my voicemail, I'm following up with a text to say thank you for your order. It's on its way. Did you receive the confirmation email? Any requests or questions, I'm here for you. This is just what they do. And Luke, I love it.

[A]

That is so smart. I wonder what the, like, the sort of. What the ROI on that is. I mean, obviously the ROI is people like you are really enjoying the service, but if they've got, you know, you buy a guitar pick from them and then someone's assigned the case, someone's assigned the account, like, they've clearly figured out that, like, they can spend the money to do this and make it up, you know, on volume or whatever. But it's a very interesting business model and a very cool one, I'm saying.

[B]

Thanks so much, Sean. I'll let you know if there are any issues, but I'm sure there won't be, exclamation point. I am all in on this. I am. So, speaking of customer service, though, back to. Back to your story of customer service.

[A]

This woman at the, at the parking ticket place could have worked for Sweetwater. Yeah, she was like, so helpful. She. She told me exactly where to go on the website, which was kind of confusing. And I was like, I can do this. I don't want to take up your day. She goes, no, no, it's complicated. Let me just help you. She walked me through the whole thing. I was like, can I send you this? I have a receipt from the parking service called Parking Kitty. I go, I have an email from them that is my receipt. Can I send that? Or can I, you know, like, drag and drop that into this, like, you know, I don't even know.

[B]

Like a portal.

[A]

Yeah, portal, basically. Oh. The other thing that she said was, she was like, the way that you're going to file this is you're going to basically say that you did it, but you would like a reduction. She goes, everyone gets mad, mad because they're saying we didn't do it. And she goes, I know this is just the fastest way to get this fixed. So she was like preparing me for the fact that I was going to have to basically plead guilty to a crime I didn't do.

[B]

I don't know if I like that.

[A]

She, she, she handled it very with aplomb. I understood what she was doing.

[B]

And then she cop getting you to like doing the good cop routine with you. Oh, can I get you some coffee? Get you some cigarettes? What we're gonna have you do is just sign this piece of paper saying you're guilty and then we'll, we'll work it out down the line.

[A]

She did say just one more thing towards the end when I thought I was scot free. She also, So I said, can I just use this receipt? She goes, well, she goes, there's one person that works here who doesn't think the email counts. So she goes, what you should probably do is do a screen cap, go into the parking app on your phone, the parking tapp, go into your history and export that. Because we have this one gal, she goes, I don't really care, care, but there's this one gal here who doesn't think that counts. And if this lands on her desk, you might be in some trouble. So she was just like really helping me navigate this whole system. And so I did, I, I, I guess I pled guilty. But then I, I threw myself at the mercy of the court. And I don't know what's happened yet, but I, it should be an open and shut case because I very clearly have the receipts. I mean literally that, that, you know, I, and she was asking me, she goes, goes, do you have one of those license plate that says wine country?

[B]

It's like, no, like a border, A license plate border?

[A]

No, the actual, like it's a, not a vanity plate, but you know.

[B]

Oh, okay. They, they print them like Oregon wine

[A]

country is, is a thing. In fact, in fact, Becca's literally has this license plate because she grew up in the Willamette Valley. So you can I, I guess you probably pay a little extra or something and your license plate is a little more exciting. I don't, I just have a standard license plate plate. But she was trying to figure out, she was like, yeah, I don't understand why you get the ticket. She was like, do you have a, do you have wine country license plate? I was like, no, but is that punishable by ticket if I do?

[B]

Yeah. What'd she say? Like, why, why was she asking that?

[A]

She was just trying to figure out why in the world this person would have. And she Seemed genuinely annoyed at the person who gave me the ticket. And I was like, I just think their machine didn't tell them that I had paid or whatever. But I'm feeling very optimistic about this and I got great customer service from the people there at the ticket center in Portland.

[B]

Well, I am looking forward to hearing how this works out. And obviously, in all sincerity, I wish for the best for you. Did you expect the worst? I am clearly more upset about this. Well, the system just says it'll be easier. I don't know, man. Just anybody saying, the system just says it'll be easier if you admit fault. I really hate that. I know it's $65. I'm not talking about murder charges and the fact that she literally also. And I'm not saying that she's playing good cop, bad cop, but it's. I mean, I was joking about her being the good cop. And now she's also hooking her thumb over her shoulder saying, well, I work with this a hole. He's. You know, she's not going to be as easy on you like she's literally doing good cop, bad cop and getting you to admit guilt to something that you are so clearly not guilty of.

[A]

I should have asked for a lawyer.

[B]

I'm telling you, you needed some Dabney. You needed some Dabney.

[A]

I needed F. Lee Bailey.

[B]

That's right. I'm seriously, I'm not trying to harsh or Buz. Sounds like you're optimistic and I hope that's good, but like, I'm not. That is not how things should work. I don't like that.

[A]

Well, we will see. I do have my little auto generated thing from Multnomah Circuit Court. Your fine reduction request has been submitted to the parking department. So I will tell you when I get an update on that and what they say. And yes, if you have to pay

[B]

$0.01, I'm going to be upset about this.

[A]

No, I'm going to, believe you me. I going to take this to the Supreme Court and I'll have Amy Coney Barrett on my side because she's turned out to be a surprisingly. I wouldn't call her a good jurist, but not as bad as we were expecting on a couple of issues.

[B]

It's got a text back from Sean at Sweetwater. He wants to meet for coffee, so I got to get out of here now.

[A]

No, definitely. It sounds like you've made a friend.

[B]

We're going to go meet at Chocolati. Where your dad used to make signs.

[A]

Well, yes. And then the thing next to it, which was Don's group attire. Their retail space was where you could buy your blazers for your, like, Elks Club.

[B]

Well, guys, if coffee goes well, me and Sean might go on a little shopping spree. Like.

[A]

Well, I'm sure you're gonna have a time with your podcast with Sean. Meanwhile, I'm dealing with a crooked cop over here in Portland.

[B]

Yeah, like, totally. Oh, just read you the moment you walked in the door. Exactly.

[A]

All right, that's gonna do it for today's show, but we will be right back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio for you. You. So, please, if you can stop by for that. In the meantime, have a great Tuesday. Take care of yourselves, lawyer up, and please remember, no mountain too tall.

[B]

And good luck to all. Power out.