#4691 This Could Have Been A Greeting

Summary

TBTL #4691 “This Could Have Been A Greeting”

Date: March 25, 2026
Hosts: Luke Burbank & Andrew Walsh

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Overview

In this episode, Luke and Andrew open the mics for their trademark blend of friendly banter, deep-dives into oddly specific dilemmas, and loving explorations of nostalgia. Topics range from the existential anguish of digital birthday cards to NASCAR trading cards, bedding hygiene, and the etiquette of celebrity encounters. As ever, the TBTL crew laces even the silliest tangents with relatable wisdom—and more than a few hilarious lines.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening Banter & Nostalgic Trading Cards

[03:22]

• Andrew shares joy from opening listener holiday cards—a personal ritual that he likens to “pull tabs of happiness.”
• Special shout-out to listener Joseph, who included five nostalgic trading cards: Batman Returns, Flintstones, and a 1991 NASCAR card featuring Richard Petty’s record-setting moment.
  • This prompts a discussion of car culture, Indy cars vs. NASCAR, and fond memories of childhood collectibles.
• Luke admits that despite never being a motorsports guy, seeing real Indy cars at the Indianapolis airport was unexpectedly cool.

Standout moment:

“I have a pack of ALF cards somewhere that remain unopened that I’m saving for a day when I’m really blue.”
—Andrew [08:11]

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The Existential Dread of Digital Birthday Cards

[08:50]

• Luke confesses mounting anxiety about the workplace tradition of digital birthday cards.
  • He feels pressure to write something heartfelt and original even after six or seven yearly cards for the same people.
  • The public nature of digital cards—in contrast to the privacy of passing a paper card—makes him overthink his message.
  • Despite receiving multiple cards himself, Luke says:

    “I have literally never opened one of them because I can’t handle that kind of attention.” [13:30]

• Andrew chimes in, relating similar dread and admitting he defaults to a simple “Happy Birthday. —A.”
  • Recalls once being interrogated over his message and signature by an overly-zealous birthday card recipient:

    “Did you sign your name? I just signed an A, Jerry!” [15:04]

Insights:

• The performativity and records of digital greetings create unintended stress.
• Not everyone derives joy from “forced” workplace gestures; sometimes, direct, personal outreach is valued more.

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Navigating Birthday Card Etiquette & The AI Question

[22:33]

• Andrew consults ChatGPT for birthday card ideas:
  • Amused and mortified by the generic office-friendly suggestions:

    “Hope your day is filled with good coffee, great food, and zero meetings…” [24:00]

  • Both agree: using AI for heartfelt messages would feel inauthentic and potentially humiliating.
• They experiment with hypothetical prompts to see how AI handles workplace drama (“we had a brief tryst”), finding ChatGPT’s advice warm, risk-averse, and… pretty decent, all things considered.

Memorable exchange:

Luke: “I would probably rather—I don't want to say die, because that's pretty intense—but I would feel extremely self-conscious if somebody thought that was the humor I was intentionally deploying.” [25:12]

Meta-Observation:

• The hosts marvel at AI’s ability to provide “pretty solid advice,” while still returning to their preference for genuine, human-crafted interactions.

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Listener "Dazzling Donor" Messages

[34:41 & 46:17]
This segment is part donor thank-you, part “birthday card” for the TBTL community. (Skipped ad-style bits; focusing on listener content.)

• Anthony from Newark: Thanks the show for daily sanity, encourages kindness (“Ripples plus time equals waves.” [45:47]), and pokes fun at the digital birthday card dilemma.
• Roald from Puyallup:
  • Shares stories he “saved for his donor message”—including an Eddie Vedder encounter (they exchanged an “awkward bro head nod” without fanfare [51:53]), and an anecdote about a soccer-themed anime (“Blue Lock”) featuring “spatial awareness” as a superpower [55:24].
  • TBTL hosts riff on sports etiquette, coaching styles, and what superpowers are best for athletes.

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Sheet Washing, Bedding Hygiene & Odd News

[64:23]

• Luke finally delivers on the “man turns blue” story from England (headline: “Man turns blue after using new bedsheets”):
  • The man was alarmed to wake up entirely blue but realized the color was from unwash sheets whose dye transferred to his skin.
  • Sparks discussion on household hygiene:
    • Luke insists new sheets must be washed, citing “weird, chemically, sulfuric” odors from store packaging.
    • Andrew, despite being a cleaning enthusiast, doesn’t always wash new sheets unless they smell. Both men admit to sometimes skipping washing new glasses.
  • Bedding protocols: Luke now changes his duvet cover as often as the sheets, extolling the “fluffy cloud” feeling of double-clean bedding.

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Office & Team Dynamics, Coaching, and Soccer Rabbit Holes

[56:53]

• Roald’s anime anecdote leads to a detailed breakdown of soccer positions and nomenclature (“forward vs striker”).
• Luke shares youth soccer stories:
  • Recalls two famously different coaches with contrasting authority styles.
  • Admits to once being suspended for a game—“I don’t think I did it on purpose, maybe it was half on purpose”—after spitting on his coach’s leg. [61:45]
• The hosts muse on how leadership style affects group dynamics, whether in sports or in the workplace.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Speaker | Quote | |-----------|---------|-------| | 08:11 | Andrew | “I have a pack of ALF cards somewhere that remain unopened that I’m saving for a day when I’m really blue.” | | 13:30 | Luke | “I have literally never opened one of [my birthday cards] because I can’t handle that kind of attention.” | | 15:04 | Andrew | “Did you sign your name? I just signed an A, Jerry!” | | 24:00 | Luke (re: AI) | “Hope your day is filled with good coffee, great food, and zero meetings…” | | 25:12 | Luke | “I would probably rather—I don't want to say die, because that's pretty intense—but I would feel extremely self-conscious if somebody thought that was the humor I was intentionally deploying.” | | 45:47 | Anthony (listener) | “Ripples plus time equals waves.” | | 51:53 | Roald (listener) | “I just smiled and I gave him an awkward bro head nod. And he did the same.” | | 61:45 | Luke | “I got suspended for a game for spitting on his leg. I don’t think I did it on purpose. Maybe it was half on purpose.” |

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [03:22] Listener mailbag & trading card nostalgia
• [08:50] Digital birthday card anxiety
• [22:33] ChatGPT birthday card experiment and AI etiquette advice
• [34:41] Dazzling Donor: Anthony's message and “random acts of kindness”
• [46:17] Dazzling Donor: Roald’s stories, celebrity encounter, anime & soccer
• [64:23] Top Story: Man turns blue from bedsheets → bed hygiene, bedding rotations
• [56:53] Sports/rabbit hole: Soccer positions, coaching, leadership

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Tone & Style

Affectionately offbeat, wry, and self-deprecating. As always, TBTL’s charm comes from the hosts’ vulnerability about mundane anxieties, their love for esoteric pop culture, and a willingness to wring comic gold from the smallest of modern-life struggles.

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For Those Who Missed It

This episode is quintessential TBTL: a gentle stroll through personal quirks—birthday card stress, collecting cards, “should I wash these sheets?”, sports nostalgia—laced with big laughs and moments of poignant relatability. The dynamic between Luke and Andrew shines, making the listener feel part of an ongoing conversation with two old friends.

Transcript

[Andrew Walsh]

I think what they were doing was good to me.

[Luke Burbank]

You rehearsed. You rehearsed.

[Andrew Walsh]

You did it perfect. You know exactly what you're doing, and then you forget about it. Let me pinpoint you. You said they learn it, they forget it, and that's okay. That's great. Well, they've forgotten it, but they never learned it.

[Luke Burbank]

So when do they learn it? I'm just saying, when do we have.

[Andrew Walsh]

But what I'm saying is, if they're gonna forget it anyway, then what difference does it make?

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, you see what I mean?

[Andrew Walsh]

It's like one of those. It's a Zen thing. It's like, you know. You know how many babies, you know, fit in the tire thing that hold the old joke, you know? Tbtl. The new phone book's here. The new phone book's here.

[Luke Burbank]

I'm somebody now.

[Andrew Walsh]

Millions of people look at this book every day. This is the kind of spontaneous publicity, your name in print, that makes people. Where are you guys?

[Luke Burbank]

Have I lost you in the land of never never?

[Andrew Walsh]

I've only ever said I love you to two my entire life. Stone cold Steve Austin and a guy in a dark club who I mistook for Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Luke Burbank]

I know these guys are annoying, but that's all I got.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's party time, chumps.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Hello, good morning and welcome, everyone, to a Wednesday edition of tbtl, the show that just might be too beautiful to live.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's the ship that made the Kessel

[Luke Burbank]

run in less than 12 parsecs. My name is Luke Burbank. I am your host.

[Andrew Walsh]

This song goes out to all the

[Luke Burbank]

coffee lovers of the world, coming to you from the Madrona Hill studio, perched high above the mighty Columbia, where we're looking at a fairly decent day. Actually, the river is kind of. It's roiling, but that's just because a giant car carrier just went by. Well, not a. Yeah, I guess you call it a car carrier. Like a giant ship with a bunch of, you know, containers on it. I don't know what's in those containers. Probably not cars. But maybe what I should do is just focus on the task at hand instead of speculating on the maritime traffic. The task at hand is bringing you episode 4691 in a collector series. Let the fun begin. We failed to get to the story yesterday, per usual for us, but a guy in England woke up completely the color blue. I'm afraid I just blew myself. And yes, I know I used that audio yesterday to introduce this story that I didn't get to. But it's just every once in a generation, you get an audio drop that's so perfectly tailored to the story. In fact, we might be doing the story because of the audio drop that you just, you use it two days in a row and you make no apologies. By the way, that's me making no apologies. That's what that sounds like. I want to apologize for being kind of a no fun. Nick. There's something going on with me and birthdays that I'm kind of, first of all, really hoping that the people who would potentially hear this don't hear this. And also that you all who are hearing this don't think that I'm being kind of unfun about birthdays.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's not my birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

Speaking of a guy who's always fun about birthdays. But seriously, let's introduce the longest running cobra of the show, maybe best known for his depictions of the tall ships. He's Andrew Walsh. She's joining me right now. Good morning, my friend.

[Andrew Walsh]

Good morning, Luke. Remember the other day how I told you that I have a dwindling stack of holiday cards sent in from TBTL listeners? We got a whole bunch of them during the winter holidays, and I kind of open one or two a day and it just sparks a little joy. It's like, you know, did I already make this comparison? It's a little bit like, so, like pull tabs of happiness. Sort of like I get near the end. You always win, except you always win. And I want to give a shout out to listener Joseph in the Bronx who sent a very sweet card. I mean, again, I'm not shouting out everybody, but I did want to say thanks to everybody again, but also shout out to Joseph for including in the card without even really mentioning how or why he chose these five trading cards from the 90s from various different properties. We got two here from Batman Returns that I, you know, I used to collect Batman cards from the first movie. Movie. So these are amazing. Batman mobile, Batman mobile. Batman mobile. And so I got a picture here of the Penguin on one of these cars and then Batman sort of holding a Catwoman by her shoulders there. Then we got two from a very different film adventure called the Flintstones. We got John Goodman as Fred Flintstone, and he's chipping away at a block at work. It says executive material, exclamation point, question mark. And then one of him showing off his foot at a board meeting. And it says car trouble. And I think the joke there is that's actually car trouble getting in because of his foot. Buy, sell and trade. It's tradio. And then the last thing I want to share with you, because I had a question. I feel like this would not have overlapped with your interests as a young man, but maybe it did. I don't know how into car culture you were, but have you heard of Trax T R A K S trading cards? They were apparently NASCAR or race car trading cards, and we have one of those from Joseph.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, I'm getting into cars a little bit because, as I mentioned the other day on the show, I was walking through the airport in Indianapolis and I was seeing Indy cars that were on display behind velvet ropes, and I thought they looked way cool. Like, I've never been up close to one of those. I've never considered myself a motorsports kind of guy, but I was like that. Those that would be fun to drive one. And then I think it was listener Ian reached out and said those were Indy cars and they actually have an IndyCar event in Portland in the summertime

[Andrew Walsh]

that could be fun through the now.

[Luke Burbank]

Now tracks. Let me.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, this is a NASCAR thing, it looks like to me now, I don't know if the. It's always nascar, but that's definitely not.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's not. What are they? I don't know why I'm gonna try to use terminology, but open wheel racing, I believe, is the. For F1 and things like that. There's not any housing of the car over the wheel versus, of course, nascar, which is what you're holding up.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right. And this one is called Sunday Drive. And even though this card was issued in 1991, it's actually a highlight from 1984. I don't know if I held that up. If you could tell me exactly what moment in NASCAR history that is. It just looks like a bunch of cars.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, let me see. Hold on. Let me think about it. It's an stp that looks like. What is that? Is that a Dodge? What's he running there? What's he running? That STP car that's leading the pack. That looks like that might be a Dodge to me. Is that possible?

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I'm going to read to you the back. I'm kind of reading this cold. It says 1984 highlight. It says. It's funny, they don't even use first names. Or at least not for Petty. It says, oh, Richard Petty. Of course, Richard Petty. Petty zipped past Bill Elliot and snatched the checkered flag in race number 11, held at Dover, Delaware, with President Ronald Reagan in the stands. Richard Claimed his. There you go. Richard claimed his 200th week win, dueling with Yarborough at the wire of the Firecracker 400 in Dayton. Although the season was not his best, Petty set a win record that will probably never be broken. That was written in 1991. I don't know if it's been broken or not. There you go.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a. Yeah. Richard Petty running the. That was a Pontiac. I think he might.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting. So, you know, a little bit more Rusty Wallace.

[Luke Burbank]

And now I'm just looking at the Internet and now I'm looking up at these tracks. 1991 racing trading cards. What year did you say yours was from?

[Andrew Walsh]

So the trading card came out in 1991, but it' celebrating a 1984 moment, which is kind of interesting. It's not like baseball cards where it's like the previous season, I guess, but it's pretty sweet. I gotta say, this really was joyful. I. I love these kinds of cards. Like I said, I have a whole bunch of Batman cards. I have a deck of. Or like a. A pack of elf cards somewhere that I think remain unopened that I'm saving for a day when I'm really blue. And so opening this a big.

[Luke Burbank]

I wonder what the get is in an alf. Like, is it, you know, really the. It's a Gordon Shumway card.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yes.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, that's his Earth name, right? We always do this.

[Andrew Walsh]

Shumway. No, that's his space name.

[Luke Burbank]

That's his own name.

[Andrew Walsh]

Gordon Shumway and Earth. He's just known as alien life form, AKA elf. Now I was going to say, speaking of cards, I was going to see if there is any. Anything going on in your life related to cards that this might have set up. Segue.

[Luke Burbank]

It's a great segue.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I started to segue, but then it occurred to me I didn't also want to spoil your. I didn't want to spoil whatever you want to talk about.

[Luke Burbank]

No, you're. That's. That's actually. That's the perfect way into this. Although I'm already. I'm already, as you could tell in the setup, I'm already 5% regretting even. Even going on the record with this. But. So there has been. Let's just say there's another organization that I work for where. And in fact, there's two organizations I work for where this tends to happen. Although it seems to happen more frequently in one of these organizations where we have a lot of. We have a good number of folks that work for the operation and it has become very important in the culture of this workplace. But we're all spread out, generally speaking, to somebody is in charge of setting up and sending out like a digital birthday card whenever it's somebody's birthday is coming up and it's. And this week there happened to be a. In the words of Stugot, collision course. There was two. Basically, right before the show today, I was like, I got. I got two emails kind of back to back about like, it's so don't forget to sign so and so's birthday card. And like, I've worked with all these folks for a good number of years and I'm on the one. One part is I am running out of things to say on digital birthday cards also. It's there for the whole world to see. Right. Have you ever signed one of these?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. You ever signed one of these? Little Goleman? No, not Gary Goleman. Who is that?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, it's. It could be a Manish Galco, although

[Andrew Walsh]

that would be more like these. That's. That's what I thought you were digital.

[Luke Burbank]

These digital cards. You sign one of these. That's. Again, it's getting. How is the impression getting worse? So you have signed one of these. You are familiar. There's a couple of things about the digital birthday card that stress me out. One is the fact that everybody who comes in and signs it after you can, if they care to read what everybody else has written. It's not just like you're going around with a birthday card and you're saying, oh, hey, can you sign this for so and so. And you just kind of write with a pen, like, happy birthday. You sign your name. It's kind of a sort of. There's a pretty clear digital record of the whole thing. And so I feel pressure to write something thoughtful and heartfelt, not just like, happy Birthday. I want to say something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I interrupt for just for one second? Because I'm trying. So the experience of seeing what other people have written before you hasn't changed from physical card to digital card? Because if somebody came over to my cubicle in 2005 and dropped a card on my desk, I'd still be able to see it. Do you feel like your messages, because they're digital, are getting more involved and that's where the pressure lies?

[Luke Burbank]

Well, first of all, I don't think you would sit there and read what everybody else had written if you were at your desk the way that you might, because there's one physical card and somebody else Needs to sign it. I think that the fact that it's like anybody can just go on their computer and, like, look at this card for as much as they care to and no one else. I don't need to hand this card off to the next person to sign it. I think creates more attention. This is my theory around what everybody else is writing on there now, by the way, do I read what anyone else is writing? Of course not. No.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think most people. I think most people.

[Luke Burbank]

I could impossibly.

[Andrew Walsh]

You.

[Luke Burbank]

But there is something about. So I'm a. I'm running out of things to write because I'm now in birthday card six or seven. For some folks. I should probably just. I should probably just, you know, lower my personal standards for it and just write Happy birthday and my name. That's perfectly fine. Happy birthday. We're celebrating your birthday. That would probably lower my stress level. But instead, I want to say something that's kind of punchy, that shows the person I appreciate them, etc. And again, I'm, you know, I'm running out of things to say. There is also just the fact that when I get one of these, when I get a note about this in my inbox, and I love these folks that I work with, I just. I really do. But it feels like it stresses me out whenever I see, hey, it's. And I don't want other people because I get one of these cards every year, too. I don't want other people to see. I don't want other people to get the email. Luke's birthday is coming up, and now everybody has to like, okay, we got to write something for this guy. It's like, what am I going to say? Everybody's got to jump on the card, make sure that, you know, you got the right link and make sure it hasn't expired or whatever. You know, sign the thing and send it to me. I don't like creating that for other people. I don't need that for other people. Andrew, when I tell you that I have now gotten in my life at this organization. Well, probably 10 of these cards. I've never opened one of them. I would. And this is something that's really.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just put money in that last year for you.

[Luke Burbank]

I would. Well, it's still there. I would say you can cancel that check. You wrote me a check for $5.

[Andrew Walsh]

I did, yeah. I can't. I've been waiting to.

[Luke Burbank]

I can't balance Grandma Walsh. Yeah, like, here's the thing I was thinking about as I was Writing. And again, it's just the fact that today I had to do two of them. So it really felt like, man, this is a significant part of my professional responsibility is filling out digital birthday cards. But I was thinking to myself, have I ever. I've gotten one of these every year, and I have literally never opened it because I can't handle that kind of attention. For some reason, I'm not quite you, maybe as a kid, plugging your ears as they were singing Happy Birthday. But it turns out I might be closer to that than I realize. Just because, like. And it's such a nice thing. It's people saying, like, hey, happy Birthday, or, hope you have a great day, or we really appreciate working with you. You know, like, it's nice stuff from nice people. There's something about sitting down and scrolling through digitally my co workers who have been forced to write something nice to me in the card that fills me with angst. And that seems like that's. That's not a pleasant experience for me. Even though everything about it is. Is meant with love and kindness and should be a good feeling, it does not make me. It fills me with enough dread that I've never opened one of these cards.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is interesting. I. I don't. And I've received digital cards before. They've been around for a while. I'm trying to think they might have even switched to those when I was still at New Hampshire Public Radio. I feel like that was a card culture, sort of. And I feel like maybe even while I was there, because I was there up until, what, 2009 or something like that. So I think digital cards had sort of taken over. Like, we had a HR manager named Maureen who would send them around or whatever. And I'm with you on the dread about signing them. Physical cards or digital, I don't feel a big difference in these cases, but I'm always like. I don't know what to say. Sometimes I just write Happy Birthday. I was signing a physical group card the other day for the group I volunteer with, and it was from a guy who lets us know he's a customer of ours who lets us know he wants a card every year, and he'll start letting us know weeks in advance that he wants a card. And then we write him a card, and he actually questioned me. He's like, what did you write? What did you write? I can't read it. Did you write anything other than Happy Birthday? I'm like, no, Jerry. I just wrote Happy Birthday. He's like, did you sign Your name. I'm like, I just signed an A, Jerry. But anyway, so it was kind of my worst nightmare of like, you didn't alw them somebody. That's email. But I had that. My signature is usually sort of an A. Or if it's official, it's sort of like a scrawled aw. But so if anybody wants to hack me, there you go. But it was sort of funny being called out on. On it, you know? But I'm with Glenn. Like, I don't really know what to write, and so I just write happy birthday. And I just. I'm sort of just over. I'm just over cards. I hate to say it. Like, you know, I'm from Cleveland, the. The home of Hallmark, and so I feel like I'm betraying you.

[Luke Burbank]

Also.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just remember, no American Greetings. American Greetings.

[Luke Burbank]

We started this episode with you talking about reading through the cards and how

[Andrew Walsh]

much joy it brings me. No, that's a good point. But the. The office culture cards. I am just, like, I just. I am with you. That I don't really feel. When they do come my way. I think at 8pm Some of those digital cards came my way, and when they came my way at 8pm they were for people I truly cared about. Like, I don't know for sure, but. But I'll bet you one came for our pal Kiki Lolo, Cristina Lopez, who I love and admire and we worked closely with. And so if there's anybody that fills that role that I should be excited to sign their card, it should be that person. But even in that case, I'd be like, I don't know, happy birthday. I'll text you later. I'd rather get on the phone and chat with you at some point. You know what I mean? Like, I'm just sort of not bought in on the concept of it. I don't share your anxiety about reading them now, probably because it's been a long, long time since I've received something like this. I'm not quite as popular as you, I feel are for me, I would be more, and I hate to say it, maybe slightly more dismissive about it. Just kind of like, okay, yeah, I think I understand what you're talking about, about a little bit of that anxiety, but that's not the leading cause for me to maybe not want to open that thing. Right.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay. But also, you've also just solved the problem. The main problem for me. Forget about whether I open it or not, the ones that I've received. The main problem for me Is the stress around? What am I going to write? But you've just already. You've already just, like, fully submitted to the idea that you're just going to write happy birthday, hyphen.

[Andrew Walsh]

A Happy birthday, hope. Hope you have a good. Hope you have a good day. Or, you know, just something simple. Like I just. And I guess it depends on my relationship with the person, but, yeah, I just sort of feel like a group card like that. It is. It just. I've. But again, this is the type of thing where anything I'm going to say is going to be slightly rude, especially since I set this up by saying how much I enjoy opening these cards from listeners. But I. It just. I'm the wrong person to ask because I don't give a shit, you know what I mean, about my own birthday, generally speaking. So I can't say, is there somebody else who receives this? I will tell you this. I've never talked to somebody who said, wow, I received a card. Everybody in the office signed it, and it was really, really special. Maybe people do feel that way. Maybe people in our listening audience do. I'm not trying to be glib or steal anybody's joy, but I'll just say I've never heard that.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I'm looking now. I'm back inside the car. I think part of it for me is this particular grouping of folks that I work with, again, who I love and adore

[Andrew Walsh]

that.

[Luke Burbank]

It's. You know, I'm. I'm scrolling through one of these cards. It's a fairly. It's a verbose crew, if that makes sense. I'm not seeing one. I'm not seeing one HBD in here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, right.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, you know what I mean? I'm seeing. I'm seeing multiple sentences. People are getting creative with the font,

[Andrew Walsh]

you know, because again, that's your font. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Which you. I think you would like that part as a font, as a Garamond guy.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But, yeah, like, so that's the other thing is, it's like, this is not. This is a group of folks who are. And I mean this in the best way, really loving. They really care about each other. They work really hard. They're a good group of folks. And so no one pulls an Andrew and just says happy Birthday, hyphen. A. So the standard is that the bar is set too high. Maybe I can change that culture. Maybe I can bring them down to my level by just beginning the. The process of. But that's the other thing, too. I know I'm overthinking and over describing this and over boring the listeners. But the other problem is at this particular workplace, I have a semi high social status or somewhat status.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was going to say that I can't tell what you're talking about, by the way. I cannot figure out at all what workplace you would be talking about. But if there were. If there were a scenario where there's a whole bunch of people. So I just totally interrupted you, but I was thinking this. I wanted to bring this up too, and maybe I can give you a little bit of coverage here because again, I can't. I don't know you that well. I can't tell what you're talking about in your particular situation. But if there were a situation where there's a whole bunch of people who will all work on a project together, but one person is the face of that operation, is the outward face of that operation. But I'm somebody who just like, I don't know, let's just say I'm a junior producer and I cut tape, you know, and I'm often, you know, like, I. People don't even know my face that well around the office or whatever, then I'm much more likely to get away with an HBD slash A. You know what I mean? Than if I were somebody who, I don't know, like hosted a variety show or something like that and I was like sort of the public.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, that's where you're wrong. I'm not talking about that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really. It's the other. Oh, you know, you said 10 years. Oh, okay. Anyway, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Luke Burbank]

I do think, I do think that a lot of this stuff is for me, passed through this filter also of. Yes. Like, it would be very bad form if a person who, who has the role at this place that I do was seen as being kind of like, you know, too busy to sign the card or phoning it in and just kind of be doing the minimum. I really don't want to do the minimum because again, I really appreciate and very much love the folks that I, that I work with on this particular endeavor. But yeah, it definitely feels to me. And again, this could be just completely created in my own mind. But it's like I feel like if, you know, if I, if I were to not sign one, that could be interpreted as some kind of a thoughtlessness on my part, which I would really, really, really to be transmitting because that's not how I feel at all. I just am not big on these cards and I also feel like, really, what I want to say is, like, please, nobody, I don't need a card this year. I do not. You know, I'm getting plenty of appreciation and love from the people I work with through their hard work and dedication to the project. I don't. We don't have to force anybody to jump online and fill out a digital

[Andrew Walsh]

card, but that also feels like being no card for me. And that's the dynamic that we've sort of set up there, too, is a little bit different as well. Now, I did what anybody should do in this situation, Luke, which is I just dusted off the chatgpt that I downloaded a year ago around this time to grade my fantasy baseball, and this is the second time I believe I've used this in two years.

[Luke Burbank]

The answer was right there.

[Andrew Walsh]

ChatGPT. I wrote, what should I write in my coworker's birthday card? And this is what the robot said. Keep it simple, warm, and appropriate for your workplace relationship.

[Luke Burbank]

Don't mention your divorce.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't mention your divorce. There are a few options, depending on the vibe you want. The first one is friendly and personal. And here's what it says. It says, happy Birthday. Do those legs go all the way up? What the. No, it says, happy Birthday.

[Luke Burbank]

Check out those getaway sticks.

[Andrew Walsh]

Happy Birthday. Wishing you a great year ahead, filled with success, happiness, and maybe even a little less email. Laughy face.

[Luke Burbank]

That's a. That would be a perfectly acceptable birthday card message, except for the context or the type of work that we're all doing is not. It's not an office job. So it's. You're not. You're not buried under an avalanche of emails.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you could say. And hopefully. And hopefully fewer pickups. Okay, how about this? Casual and light. Happy Birthday. Hope your day is filled with good coffee, great food, and zero meetings.

[Luke Burbank]

All right, now, here's. This is why I'll never fully relinquish my written life to the likes of AI and Chat GPT because I would probably rather. I don't want to say die, because that's pretty intense, but I. I would feel extremely self conscious if somebody thought that that was the. That was humor that I was intentionally deploying for someone to think that I wrote that. In fact, the other day, I took a picture of it again, but it's on my other computer in the house. AI tried to compose a response to a listener from me. Oh, yeah, it wasn't the. The one that was just completely and totally off the rails about Italy. It was another one that Was again inserting some kind of factual response to this person. Again, it would be a more interesting story if I had it right in front of me. And I don't. But. But yeah, it's still. They're still trying to do that. And. And when it comes to humor. Yeah, like, that would be. I would be mortified. And this is why I will always do the work of writing my own messages in people's digital cards. Because what you just read. What was it? And hopefully a few lessons.

[Andrew Walsh]

No meetings. Zero meetings.

[Luke Burbank]

Zero meetings. I would rather die than have somebody think that that was my attempt at humor.

[Andrew Walsh]

So here's what the AI has offered me. So it's offered me some short and simple solutions. Happy birthday. Hope it's a great one if you're closer. Happy birthday. Work wouldn't be the same without you. Hope you celebrate your big but. Here's what I like. Then it says, if you want, tell me your coworker's personality. Funny. Quiet. Your level of closeness. And I can tailor it perfectly. So now I'm ready. My coworker has a pretty good sense of humor. I like her. Okay. But I don't think she likes me very much. I just want to see what the computer does with this interesting dynamic.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Right.

[Andrew Walsh]

Got it. That is a delicate balance. You want to be friendly and a little funny, but not overdo it or come off too personal. Here are some good options. Light humor. Safe. This is a safe one. Luke. Happy birthday. Hope your day is filled with cake, good vibes, and minimal work interruptions. I'm noticing a pattern here.

[Luke Burbank]

Whoa. Yeah.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. The rule of three. Yeah, exactly.

[Luke Burbank]

Minimal work interrupt.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. Too safe. Let's see. You're happy. Slightly. This is slightly playful. Happy birthday. I was going to get you something amazing, but I figured this card and my presence at work would be enough. Laughing face.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

Actually, not too bad.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah. Yeah. I think I would say getting to work with me or, you know, my presence at work feels a little formal, but still. Okay, I see where we're going now. Let's get into saucy town. Let's get into Saucy jazz.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. Well, what I was hoping for was something like, I hope we can. I know that you don't like me very much, but I'm hoping that we can build on building our relationship over the next work year.

[Luke Burbank]

I've. I've done and said some things at this place of work that, honestly, words can't undo.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, understood. Even AI can't tackle those problems now, Unfortunately, I didn't get Anything really. I thought by adding the dynamic of I don't think this person likes me very much would get me some. But the thing is, AI is actually trying to help here and I'm trying

[Luke Burbank]

to put in we had a brief tryst.

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you want me to. Okay, yes, let's see.

[Luke Burbank]

We had a brief tryst.

[Andrew Walsh]

I should mention that me and this coworker did have a brief T R Y S T. I want to say

[Luke Burbank]

yes, like you haven't read. That's not one of the number one words you use.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, I was trying. I was trying. Should I just write that the co worker and I did have a brief tryst. Anything a few years ago that ended amicably or poorly. Okay, a few years ago, that AI is just going to like cancel the shit out of me that ended poorly. Let's see here. Ah, yeah, that definitely changes the tone. Says this chat GPT. In that case, less is more. You want to be polite, neutral, positive, and not hint at any inside jokes, history or extra warmth that could feel awkward. I gotta be honest with you. Leaving aside James, the actual advice is not bad. Happy birthday. Hope you had a great day and a wonderful year ahead. Don't think about the past. No, I just added that last part.

[Luke Burbank]

So does it end in a wonderful year ahead?

[Andrew Walsh]

A wonderful year ahead? Yeah, they're all very generic so they

[Luke Burbank]

don't ramp this one up. It doesn't go from like.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, it dials generic.

[Luke Burbank]

There's no, there's no. They're not going to push any envelopes.

[Andrew Walsh]

They're like, don't touch this. They're like, don't. Don't mess around with this. Happy.

[Luke Burbank]

They're honestly, like, maybe don't even go to work today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Why don't you work from home? You know what? Don't take a shower today and stay in bed. Let's see. It says, I'd avoid anything too personal. Like, work wouldn't be the same without you. I would avoid anything that is too jokey or sarcastic or anything that could feel like you're trying to reconnect. Think of it as pleasant, respectful and drama free. A clean, simple message actually comes across the most mature in this situation. Honestly, again, not bad advice. I completely agree with everything the robot is saying now.

[Luke Burbank]

We're the wrong people to be. And yet we do it so often. We're the wrong people to be sort of analyzing and diagnosing what consciousness is. What, like, because, you know, the knock on, on these programs, these large language models is that they're just, they're just basically prediction machines. They're, they're, they've, they've, they've scraped and studied and learned everything that humans have ever said to or written to each other. And so because they know all of that, they just know what the next thing usually would be based on. Just like probability. But like, that thing giving us that, giving you that advice, that's pretty solid advice. Yeah, it's just, I guess, studied advice that's been given to people like, how does it know that part? How does it know. I don't, I, you know, I don't understand how it knows how to give you that response when really, like, I understand it being able to write me a country western song because it's listened to every or it's read every country. It understands what tends to what kind of topics, what the words are that come next. Or it could write me a Shakespearean sonnet. It can write me a resume. It could write me a cover letter. It can do all these things where it just knows typically what happens with them. But that seems like pretty thoughtful, good advice from someone with a brain in their head.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, no, this one is all right. But I mean, I mean, you're asking me questions that I don't know the answer to. I think you've done a lot more reading or listening to podcasts with mostly on this topic, and I honestly have not, so. But in the, in an effort to be. Yes, and my guess is a lot of the information does probably come from, you know, websites that I'm sure right now, if I were to type into Google and skip the AI functionality. Like, you know, there's probably still tons of advice online about workplace etiquette regarding writing cards and potentially about how to deal with former workplace romances. I mean, I guess it's just sort of grabbing all that information and, you

[Luke Burbank]

know, but it has a file. Apparently that's like, we had a tryst. It didn't go great. It didn't end well. And now it's two years later, I'm writing a birthday card. So it's got a file somewhere that's like, if asked that, here's where I go for that information. Like, I mean, the whole thing is just. And again, I mean, we have actual computer people, computer literate people in the audience who are just like throwing their laptop right now. But it's just like, sometimes it'll do something like that that I'm like, wow, that's actually sounds like a person's thinking and responding, you know, like, that's pretty good. Advice that it's. That it's telling you. But then, of course, as we talk about all the time, it's also has very much the possibility of just saying some crazy stuff that has no basis in reality, too. Which is the reason that as of right now, I wouldn't put. I wouldn't put a lot of trust in it for myself, and I wouldn't use it overwhelmingly because there's so many times when it gets it wrong. But then sometimes it actually kind of like, that's better advice than I've gotten at times in my life from human people.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, this is interesting. It says here that windshield washing fluid tastes really good. So could you hold on one second? I want to go. I have some of that in the garage. I just wanted to see how it tastes.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're thinking of antifreeze, and I think that they've made. Haven't they made.

[Andrew Walsh]

Is antifreeze and windshield washing fluid the same thing? Because I thought.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, windshield. Well, I thought that was a very dark joke about. About taking the end of your life.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, no. I mean, it was just a dark joke about, like, I telling you to do something really stupid. It wasn't. I wasn't referring to anything specific there

[Luke Burbank]

because I know that antifreeze is obviously very, very bad for you, but also has, like, a sweet flavor to it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, really? Oh, no. You know what? I regret that joke. I wasn't going for anything specific there.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh. Because people will put it. Because I watch a lot of. I used to watch a lot of, like, Forensic Files, and they would, like, people would try to use. When they were trying off their spouse, they would sometimes try to use antifreeze because something about the chemical makeup of it naturally had a sweet flavor to it. But then I think some of the antifreeze companies started putting something in it so that it tasted horrible so that it would be less palatable. So when you said windshield wiper fluid, my mind went to antifreeze. Went to. What's the latest on antifreeze souring technology?

[Andrew Walsh]

I hate my joke. I know. I was just. Honestly, I was gonna say Drano, but that seemed too dark, and now the whole thing is too dark. And, like, I just. I was just trying to make a joke about AI telling you to do something stupid and dangerous. And this is. This is what I wrought. This is.

[Luke Burbank]

This is why we should stop interacting with these robots.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you know what? I'm closing this down right now.

[Luke Burbank]

Fair. Shut it down. America. We was hoping for some razzle dazzle. Razzle dazzle. That's right, man. Razzle dazzle.

[Andrew Walsh]

On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready, ready, go, everybody.

[Luke Burbank]

Razzle dazzle. All right, let's thank somebody. Dazzling donors. These folks are. They're sponsoring us. Really? You know, like, you know, they're sponsoring the show for less than the cost of a cup of coffee. Thank God. Coffee is expensive now. So people say this. For less than a cup of coffee a day, you could sponsor a TBTL host. Well, we should see that.

[Andrew Walsh]

This is a message from our sponsors. We should start introducing it. And now for a message from our sponsors and our sponsorship today.

[Luke Burbank]

Our sponsors today are dazzling donors. The person making TBTL possible, making this a job for Andrew and myself and John Sklaroff. And we've got. We've got a. By the way, we've got a business boys meeting today. Remind me not to run too long in the tooth here, because we got to get to that. But today's presenting sponsor, one of our presenting sponsors is Anthony Krunk in Newark, Delaware.

[Andrew Walsh]

That is a great pronouncer. I really hope. Do you recall that from the past that it's a new arc? Have you heard this?

[Luke Burbank]

Do you recall me recalling anything?

[Andrew Walsh]

Do you recall me recalling anything that you've recalled on the show? No.

[Luke Burbank]

No. I'm sure that last year maybe this came up, and I'm sure I forgot it since then, but that is helpful because I would have never gone with new arc because it's like one word.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But Anthony knows how we be on this show, and so Anthony was helpful and put in the pronouncer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, actually, you know what? I think it's knee Walk. Like two words. Knee and work. No, I'm just joking.

[Luke Burbank]

Knee work. Gotcha. Sure.

[Andrew Walsh]

Where does one be? Can I tell you? Let me tell you a really quick joke. It's not even a joke. It's me just stealing a story from somebody else's podcast. But Scott Aukerman was talking on his podcast the other day, and I don't think of his humor as being very potty oriented or poopy oriented or whatever, but he said that his wi FI password is fart Fart. But when people ask him, like, if somebody's visiting and says, how can I log on? What is the. What is your Internet password? He'll say, like, far T F art. Break it up in this way.

[Luke Burbank]

They're like, that's amazing.

[Andrew Walsh]

And they'll just type it in often and, like, not even, like, realize what they're typing because they're breaking up the words in that way.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes, that's very clever.

[Andrew Walsh]

Pretty funny.

[Luke Burbank]

That's. Yeah, that is. Here's what Anthony out there in Newark is saying. Hey, friendos, once again, time to stare at the empty box that says, enter your dazzling message and panic. Anthony, have you even filled out my digital birthday card yet?

[Andrew Walsh]

That's all the irony, right?

[Luke Burbank]

That was looming in the back of my mind the entire time I was talking about getting an email about a digital birthday card. I was like, and yet that's how we treat these wonderful, generous people who have donated to the show is also like. And write us a digital birthday card.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? Exactly. No, I hope. Write yourself a digital birthday card. Celebrate yourself.

[Luke Burbank]

I am sure that one of the themes of this year's messages is how many tens find escape and solace in being able to shut out the insanity, if only for a while. Hurrah for crossing the river into the badlands on a daily basis. I like that. You know, that's a green light, Andrew, for us to just absolutely get. Get wild in the badlands. It sounds like Anthony's not only tolerates it, but actually enjoys it. When we go long and just start talking about all manner of silliness.

[Andrew Walsh]

Can I just mention something? I was, as you know, I'm working sort of on a design for a concept that we had for the merch store that hopefully we'll be adding at some point in the nearest future. But because of that, I went back to our merch store, and I was looking at things that we have to offer. And I always say this caveat. The merch store is not a way of us making money, like, really at all. We basically breaking complicated sales. But it's just like if you want to go there and you want to buy something, you know, we. We make it, we offer it. You know what I mean? But I'm not. I just want to be very clear during a dazzling donor message. I'm not pushing people to our store or anything like that.

[Luke Burbank]

We would much rather you donate during the thon and send you a thank you item. That's a much better financial model for us than selling a bunch of merch at pennies on the dollar.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, quite. I mean, quite literally pennies on the dollar, for whatever that's worth. So that's just something that we do for fun. But I went back to our merch store. Luke, I think I'm gonna buy. I think I'm gonna buy the badlands hoodie. Have you seen that? Because we made it.

[Luke Burbank]

I saw it when it was in. You know, I saw it as a beta test.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Let me go to.

[Andrew Walsh]

And I know it's a little bit of tbtl.com.

[Luke Burbank]

right. It's not.

[Andrew Walsh]

Net. I know it's a little patting myself on the back because I guess I made it. But I was like trying to remind myself what I had done for that design. And I went online, I'm like, oh, that's right. I made that on the green. On the green hoodie. The forest green hoodie. That TBTL Badlands thing. I was like, I wouldn't usually wear a shirt that advertises my own project or something like that, but the TBTL part of it is like pretty, you know, subtle. Subtle.

[Luke Burbank]

Kind of looks like you're supporting the national parks and it looks like you're

[Andrew Walsh]

part of the park. It's kind of handsome. I might.

[Luke Burbank]

I actually like. You know what? I'm. Now I'm here. I'm quick looking at this. I like this.

[Andrew Walsh]

We literally will have to, I mean if. Just to let the listeners know this isn't a bid. If we want these, we have to buy them off of the store just like any. Yeah, we don't have these.

[Luke Burbank]

We don't know. We don't. Hi, Louie Louie. How do we have this? Like these are made somewhere else. Which is part of the whole pricing model of it. Is, is. Is. That's why. That's what we would have to charge an exorbitant amount to make any real money. So instead we just kind of, you know, we just, we would like people to have these if they care to. But yeah, I'm looking at the military green one. I know that's not usually. Yeah, I don't go towards that. But I just like this, I'm mocking it up here.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hoodie or T shirt? Are you looking at hoodie?

[Luke Burbank]

That's a handsome hoodie.

[Andrew Walsh]

Uh huh. That's the way I was thinking the dark green one. But now I'm looking at the, at the light green one. I like, I like this. Anyway, that is just. I just was surprised.

[Luke Burbank]

The irony.

[Andrew Walsh]

You wouldn't think that I would be going out shopping for things that say TBTL on them so that I can wear them myself. But I literally might do that.

[Luke Burbank]

I want to be clear about one thing, Andrew. We don't make any money on the merch. So if you're thinking of buying merch instead of donating during the thon, I want to strongly advise you out of that, please.

[Andrew Walsh]

You know what, if you and I

[Luke Burbank]

just started buying everything on the site, but then decided not to donate. I mean, us donating to the THON would also be an interesting move.

[Andrew Walsh]

That sounds like money laundering to me. Yeah, that might get you out of a few jams.

[Luke Burbank]

Except we're not a 501. If we were, oh man, I could run a savage burn on my income. But anyway, back to Anthony's message. Anthony says now truly what you do is so important. Thanks for being an escape from all the crazy. Oh, and also making me a Seattle sports fan. Except for games against my alternate favorites, the Red Sox. Sorry, Andrew and John. That goes back to my earliest memory of any sport, ball. Listen, Anthony, you don't have to apologize to those jabronis about your about loving Red Sox nation. I get it. Probably grew up somewhere in the northeast and this is a pre existing condition for you. And I forgive you and the Ravens. Hey, I used to live in Baltimore. What can I say? There's absolutely nothing wrong with rooting for the Baltimore Ravens in my opinion.

[Andrew Walsh]

No, I mean, I think that's a really good. I've been thinking about this, actually this sort of thing because I made a promise a couple of weeks ago or at some point last week that I was not going to talk about some baseball thing I was watching last week. But we've all forgotten thankfully about that. But I will tell you, I had. First of all, the Ravens thing really stands out to me because there was a time when there was a team, there was no team that I disliked more than the Ravens. Right. Because I was a Browns fan and the Browns, the Ravens were the Browns that were ripped out of Cleveland and then set up shop in Baltimore by art model and represented everything that I, you know, is my first intense sports dislike. Now I root for the Ravens. You know what I mean? Like, and it just really goes to show you why you shouldn't ever stake too much on sports fandom. Like when I talk about really disliking certain baseball players now, even even one that I was really ragging on last week, it's still a sports dislike. It's still a machismo thing. And when I think about how literally will root for Lamar Jackson when he is on the field in almost any case now, like why wouldn't you do that? I don't necessarily do that with the Red Sox, but I will tell you this. And this might end our relationship. This seriously might end our relationship or your relationship with my relationship with you? Yeah, no, me and Anthony are strong. Oh boy. But I was again, I can't remember what it was called but there was some sort of baseball exhibition going on recently and there was a player in this stands watching the Venezuela game. I think it was Venezuela. I hope I'm not messing up his background, but it was Jose ltuve was just like in the stands.

[Luke Burbank]

You've always had a slight crush on Altuve.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, it's, It's. He's like the worst. He represents everything that I kind of like hate.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you gonna shame him about his tattoo? That he didn't want the world.

[Andrew Walsh]

Exactly. I know he, like, I have legit reason to hold grudge, you know, a legit sports reason involving cheating. But honestly, just. And he wasn't like making a big deal. He was just sort of slouching with a grin on his face in the seat, I think rooting for Venezuela. Is he of Venezuela descent or. I don't know, but I'm pretty sure he was rooting for Venezuela. Or maybe he's just his friends on the team or whatever. Yeah, because I think whoever Aubrey was playing for, wouldn't he be.

[Luke Burbank]

Wouldn't he be playing for Venezuela if he was from.

[Andrew Walsh]

Well, he wasn't playing for anybody.

[Luke Burbank]

He's a Venezuelan professional baseball player.

[Andrew Walsh]

Okay, there you go. There you go. And I think it was.

[Luke Burbank]

Why wasn't he in the wbc?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know. I guess I have no idea. All I know is that he shot and I think he was rooting on a breu. His teammate. If I, if they. They're still teammates, right? I don't know. I'm a little bit over my skis on this, but point is, like, I just saw him in the fans just being a chill friend of the sport and friend of his friend and being supportive and like. And I was just kind of like, you're giving me. Feels like it gave me a good feeling and I'm just kind of like, like, you just. I used to take my sports rivalries so, so damn seriously. And I know I still go off half cocked from time to time because that's also part of the fun of sports. But man, I really do think that I've learned a lot in the past five years or so about, like, how these things do shift and alliances shift and at the end of the day, we should be having fun with this stuff. Not holding. You should never have to apologize to me for being a Red Sox fan.

[Luke Burbank]

In other words, Altuve could not play in the WBC because of insurance issues.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, interesting, right?

[Luke Burbank]

He sustained, by the way, a fracture. It's so good that even a week later we've moved on from WBC talk. He apparently didn't bring it up.

[Andrew Walsh]

I. I couldn't remember what I was watching.

[Luke Burbank]

He sustained a fractured right thumb after being hit by a pitch in a WWBC game in 2023 and missed the first 43 games of the regular season. I wonder if that's why they won't insure him for the wbc.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's interesting. Interesting. That's really interesting. Well, I. But I still. Then I. I just thought it was cool to see that face in the stands. I was like, wait a second. I'm not supposed to like him. He's my rival. But I'm like, oh, no, He's a human being who's there rooting on his friend and. And using sports to, like, kind of bring people together. I thought it was pretty nice.

[Luke Burbank]

I also think we're going to absolutely torch the Stroz this year.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let's hope. Let's hope.

[Luke Burbank]

Good for that. I'm. I'm. I'm. My. My hatred of other teams or my dislike for them and their players is fully based on how much they dominate me and my team as my team is ascendant. It's amazing how much room I find in my heart for them potentially. Now, Anthony says to inject a moment of seriousness. Please take a moment each day to perform one simple act of kindness for someone else, no matter how small. It may seem like so little, but I believe in this formula. Ripples plus time equals waves. Do you know what you were doing, Andrew? You were taking Anthony's advice when you were looking at Jose Altuve and you were, like, thinking a positive thought. You were enjoying him being in the stands rooting on his friends and countrymen. That was, you know, that was a ripple. And you give it some time and then there's gonna be a wave.

[Andrew Walsh]

And also I will say ripples plus time equals Waves is my favorite broke. Favorite Broken Social Scene song. I'm sorry. I ruined my own joke.

[Luke Burbank]

You've been listening to a lot of Broken Social scenes.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just that one record. That one record with what? Is it time? I can't remember what. Now I've got ripples plus time equals wa. There's something.

[Luke Burbank]

All their song names are weird to me anyway.

[Andrew Walsh]

But anyway, I do love that song a great deal.

[Luke Burbank]

And we do love Anthony. Anthony, thanks for supporting the show. Appreciate you, Maestro.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Luke, you. You set me up perfectly. This was not on you this time. I was just trying to remember the name of that song and I totally. You were gorgling around. I totally spaced oh, just. Brother, give me another Maestro. Can you give me another Maestro? On your mark. On your mark. Get set, get set now. Ready? Ready.

[Luke Burbank]

Hey, it's our friend in the grocery business. It's our friend, Roald Palomaria.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. I think about rolled all the time when I'm at the grocery store.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I mean, I feel like I don't know exactly when Roald started listening. Roald's in Puyallup, Washington, by the way. But I have to imagine that, Andrew, as you've come into the full glory of being a man who sometimes I think sometimes you go to the grocery store to buy one cashew, and then

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't own a cashew store for that.

[Luke Burbank]

And then you. And then you'll go to a different grocery store to get one plum. Then, like, it does seem like one of your major hobby activities is going to grocery stores. And that's got to be way up Roald's alley, because that's the industry that Roald works in. That's got to be really fun for him.

[Andrew Walsh]

And he's been my fact checking cuz on some curious things I've seen at grocery stores.

[Luke Burbank]

Roald says, hello, business boys. I'd like to once again thank you for another great year in podcarding, even though you didn't win the Golden Globe.

[Andrew Walsh]

Wait, do we know that for sure now? That's already been awarded to Amy Poehler.

[Luke Burbank]

Did you say Amy Poehler? I didn't watch the Golden Globes, but I'm under the impression that she won. Hey, by the way, I think our friend Nora McInerney won like a, like the iHeartRadio podcasting award for best. I think it's like personal advice podcast or something for. Thanks for asking. And like, the people that she beat out were like, heavy hitters because again, all of these, you know, these podcasting awards that they're now doing, you know, if they're gonna do like a best personal advice podcast, think about who else is in that space. You know, you've got your. Your Brene Browns, and you've got all these like, Esther Estelle Perel, Esther Perels, and there's like, you know, a lot of big, big names in these, these podcasts now. And our friend Nora won one of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

She beat Michelle Obama.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, there you go.

[Andrew Walsh]

I'm not joking. It says that's a big name. Looks like the. I'm looking at this now. This is from an iHeartradio station, and it's just a list of all the award winners, and it looks like the category best advice slash inspirational. The first nominee listed here is IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Those are two huge names.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I've been seeing a lot of clips of that show, by the way.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really? This is all news to me. But you know me. I don't know anything about podcasting on purpose.

[Luke Burbank]

Why would you?

[Andrew Walsh]

Jay Shetty.

[Luke Burbank]

Jay Shetty is having a moment.

[Andrew Walsh]

Don't know that. Just heal with Dr. J. Self consciousness with Chrissy Teigen. I've heard of her. And the winner is From Tacoma. Thanks for asking. With Nora McInerney. I did not know that. Chrissy Teigen is from Tacoma.

[Luke Burbank]

Yes. Yeah. Big local star, made good Internet personality, model, actor, humanitarian, John Legend. Being married to John Legend, those are all things that are true about Chrissy Teigen.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

And also loser to our friend Nora in the podcasting division. It's crazy. Sometimes I forget how actually famous and successful Nora is. And then remember when I was hanging out with her ever so briefly in Arizona, she picked me up from the airport and like, she picked me up in like, a Bismuth pink Porsche Cayenne and was telling me the story of this car. And then we were driving by some. I think I mentioned this on that show, but we were driving by somewhere in downtown, wherever in Phoenix. And she goes, and that's where my apartment and office is. And I was. But not the house we went to. She goes, no, that's another location where I film things and work on books and where my staff is. I was like, wow, we really move in different worlds, us and Nora. But back to Roald. Roald says, even though you didn't win the Golden Globe, you were still number one in my heart. I saved a couple of things I wanted to tell you for my donor message. See, that's how you do it. Then you're not stressed about filling out our digital birthday card.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

As you're living your life and as things happen, you just have to carry a notebook.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

Constantly write down little anecdotes and experiences so then when it's time for you to write your donor message, it's not so overwhelming.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's right.

[Luke Burbank]

This is light work.

[Andrew Walsh]

Get yourself a nice leather bound notepad that fits in your pocket.

[Luke Burbank]

Buy it from Keith Stone.

[Andrew Walsh]

Make sure it's emblazoned with Stone Craft Leather on the front. Absolutely right, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay, one you mentioned a couple of weeks ago. Now, again, we don't know when Roald was writing this, but you mentioned a couple of Weeks ago that Stu Bot, the Stu Bot, thought he peed next to Eddie Vedder. I remember that. Actually, that was when all of the stuff was going down, you know, specifically in the Twin Cities. And then there was that concert. I think Tom Morello was there, Eddie Vedder, and it was raising money and attention for good causes there. And Stu Bot thought maybe he peed next to Eddie Vedder, but it turned out to not be him. Roald says, a few years back, I was having dinner with friends in Seattle, and a couple of tables away, Eddie was also having dinner with some friends. I got up to use the restroom and on the way back, I passed him in the hallway. It was just the two of us. I did fight the urge of telling him how much his music meant to me, but instead I just smiled and I gave him an awkward bro head nod. And he did the same.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice.

[Luke Burbank]

I would have a pretty hard time. And I'm not even a Pearl Jam head, per se. If I saw Eddie Vedder in a hallway, I would have a hard time not saying, hey, man, big fan. Which would be a kind of a lie. I'm not, not a fan of Pearl Jam, but I'm not somebody who's up on, you know, all of the latest stuff they're doing or whatever. Definitely love the album 10. That was big for me. But there would be something about if I was passing him in a hallway and I could just say to him, like, hey, man, big fan. I would have a really hard time not doing that, and I don't know what that says about me. So we're all tremendous self restraint.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm trying to put myself in that position. I'm also very shy, and so I could see myself just doing the head nod thing. Like, I remember when Genevieve would, like, spot famous people in la. First of all, a lot of them didn't look like anything to me. But then even if they did, I think I was so. I think I was so hyper focused on not making them feel watched that

[Luke Burbank]

I would like if she saw Dabney Coleman and Erewhon.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I can't keep my chill around Dabney.

[Luke Burbank]

Are you kidding me?

[Andrew Walsh]

It would be funny if there was. If you did see somebody and you just have like a quick second. I'm not saying this about Eddie Vedder here, but like somebody. You see somebody famous and you're just like, oh, hey, I like some of your work.

[Luke Burbank]

Or you do?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Like, where do I know you from?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, but I like some of your work just like, it just leaves them thinking, like, I wonder what work they don't like.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, the funny thing is, I did many years ago when I lived in Seattle, and we were doing, I think the radio show. Like, this was on the radio. You're on the radio. I would play basketball at this place called Sound Mind and Body, and they had a really good pickup game around lunchtime, and one of the Pearl Jam guys would show up for that, and he was so annoying. He called so many fouls. I think his name is Stone Gossert. I think he's the bassist. This whole thing is like. He loves basketball. And he was just like. I hated playing with him because he would. He would just, like, drive the lane and miss a shot and then call a foul, whether or not someone had even touched him. And I never once acknowledged that that was in Pearl Jam, and I had no trouble not acknowledging that he was in Pearl.

[Andrew Walsh]

So that's how it works, how you call your own fouls, and everybody just basically agrees. Unless it's, like, an egregious lie. Somebody might say, hey, listen.

[Luke Burbank]

Oh, somebody.

[Andrew Walsh]

People.

[Luke Burbank]

People bellyache about it. People complain, but nobody, you know, it's one of the sacred rules of pickup basketball is you call your own fouls, and they have to be respected. Like, I've never seen someone. It's very rare. I could count on one hand the number of times somebody called their own foul, and the other person, just the other team just simply ignored the foul, like, you know, pretended it didn't happen. It's one of those things, because otherwise, the entire game falls apart.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, you have to have, you know,

[Luke Burbank]

some immutable laws of pickup basketball, and that's sort of one of them.

[Andrew Walsh]

Could you just yell, that hurt, Charlie. Is that how you call your foul?

[Luke Burbank]

That's how I did. They asked me to stop coming to Sound mind and body after that.

[Andrew Walsh]

Sure. Okay.

[Luke Burbank]

A little bit more from our friend Roald. This is number two of the stories of the anecdotes that he's been saving for his donor. Message 2. There is an anime. It's called Blue Lock. It's about Japan finding the best soccer striker in the country. They all have abilities to make them special, like speed or strength. The main characters is spatial awareness.

[Andrew Walsh]

Nice. Wow.

[Luke Burbank]

God, I would kill for that one. Actually, that would be. That might be the most useful. Like, if you could have a superpower in soccer, I bet you spatial awareness would be the one.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right?

[Luke Burbank]

Think about it. Because what you're constantly doing is you're getting, let's say, the Ball is coming to you, but you got like two defenders closing in on you, and you got to figure out where you are in space versus them versus the goal versus your other players. Like, I was watching clips of Maradona the other day from. From back in the day. And I mean, he was 5 foot, nothing 100 and nothing coked out of his mind most of the time. But he was ridiculous at soccer. And it was because I think of his spatial awareness. Awareness.

[Andrew Walsh]

Let me ask you this. The word striker, that is not a position in soccer.

[Luke Burbank]

It is.

[Andrew Walsh]

It is actual position on the field, or it's like sort of a. It's not a designation like forward. Like, what were the.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, forward and striker, I think are maybe somewhat interchangeable. Maybe. Like, I. I feel like I've heard striker used sort of interchangeably with forward. Now maybe it's not officially a position. I'm also not a soccer expert.

[Andrew Walsh]

I was wondering, for some reason in my head, and I'm not saying I'm right, but for. Just to understand my question, if you care to, I was sort of thinking about how, like a quarterback might be referred to as a pocket passer or something like that. Like, oh, no, your position is quarterback, but you're known as a pocket passer. I thought maybe a striker was more of a sort of a descriptor of a style.

[Luke Burbank]

I think you're right. No, no, I actually think you're right. I think that's a good. I think that's a good example because, you know, the. The positions are like, if you start, you have the goalkeeper, you have actually, believe it or not, fullback we used to call it in high school, which was like a defensive position. You have midfielders. There's one more defensive layer that I'm forgetting is there halfback, Halfbacks, maybe.

[Andrew Walsh]

I mean, I'm just trying to remember from when I was playing when I was 11 years old or 10.

[Luke Burbank]

And then you've got like midfielders and then you've got forwards. And the idea of the forwards was just that they're, you know, they're the people that are the tip of the spear. They're way up there near the other team's goal, and they're going to be trying to score a lot of goals. I feel like I've heard those players described as a striker as well. But you're right, it might just be. It might just be a description of what they do in the job. But the technically, the thing is still forward.

[Andrew Walsh]

The thing I remember most about playing youth soccer was, well, running laps, which I hated and the smell of my shin guards. After a game or practice, we used

[Luke Burbank]

to have to do these. I'm forward versus striker. I'm looking this up right now. A striker is a specialized type of forward focused primarily on scoring goals, playing closest to the opponent's goal. Forward is a broader term for any attacking player, including wingers, strikers, and second strikers.

[Andrew Walsh]

I see. So I wonder when you're. When you're putting a team together, you're kind of like, okay, Burbank, you're the striker.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I was. I did play forward a lot. I was. I. And then I guess some midfield. We used to do these things called bear crawls, which are exactly what they sound like. You're on your hands and feet. And we used to have to bear crawl the entire soccer field so far. And it doesn't sound that hard. That sounds almost like less bad than running.

[Andrew Walsh]

It's so much worse.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't know why that was when Tom Taylor, our soccer coach, we had our first soccer coach with this guy named Bill Herme. Hermes Hermey. Bill Hermey. And he was such an interesting dude. He was American, but he was really British coded. I don't know if he'd lived in England or what, but he really, like, this is when there was no awareness of the Premier league in the U.S. right? People didn't watch that stuff. People didn't know about it, but he did. He loved soccer. And by the way, his son was phenomenal. His son was the Gatorade player of the year. Paul. He played for the uw. But I remember he would just like, Bill was so great. He would. When I was in eighth grade, I actually. Or eighth grade, or maybe my freshman year, I got to suit up for varsity, like my freshman year. And Bill was still the coach. And he had the greatest British lines for soccer stuff. Like when you'd be running to head a ball and you got up there and you got it, he'd go, well up, well up. And like, he had a job that's good job, but that's like you jumped. Well, you well up was like you went up and you won a 50, 50 ball. So the ball's kind of like either guy could get it from different teams, but you got the 50, 50 ball. He would say, well up for that. He would say there was all these like, cool European soccer things that he would just. He would wear like some soccer jersey. He was like this like commercial real estate magnet, like, older bald guy, but he'd just be wearing, like a Premier league soccer Jersey on the sideline, like, yelling, well up and just a cool dude.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I love that.

[Luke Burbank]

And then he decided, I think probably what happened was his son graduated and so he was like, yeah, I'm gonna move on to other things. And so then we suddenly had had this teacher, Mr. Taylor, who was kind of. Kind of mousy and kind of like, it was. We went from this, like, guy who was bigger than life and who everything he said seemed cool and we were like. Like, we were just kind of like in awe of him to like a teacher at our school that all of us all kind of thought we could beat up. Like, it's like, I could probably take him and now that's our new coach. And it was like he was like, he was just a mild mannered dude, which is not a crime at all. But it'd be like, so, you know, again, the same thing. It'd be like, you know, it'd be time to do some. Some kind of workout thing that we were all dreading. He'd be like, okay, bear crawls. And like, half of us would be like, I don't think we're doing that today.

[Andrew Walsh]

Really.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, I don't know how open our. I don't know how open our. Our disdain was. It was pretty open. It was actually too open. And I think our team was kind of pretty lousy after that because we, like, we didn't really want to do.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's actually a really interesting. That's a really interesting dynamic, though, like, the different aspects of coaching. And obviously I can't speak to it in the soccer realm, but even going back to some of our conversations about Dan Wilson. Dan Wilson with the Mariners. Like, a lot of people, like, kind of openly just acknowledge that his first year was rough for. In game decision making. But you had mentioned, though, that he's just really respected in this, like, low key, Steady Eddie way in the locker room. And if you have a very different personality that is way grumpier or way more fiery, or if you let people walk all over you, that can literally result in different results on the field. To say results twice, I think I

[Luke Burbank]

got suspended for a game for spitting on his leg.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, Luke.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't think I did it on purpose. Maybe it was half on purpose. I remember spitting. It was outside of the soccer field. I was like, I remember like, spitting and like, it hit his leg or something. And he was like, did you spit on my leg? And I was like, no. And probably in between trying to and not trying to spit on his leg, we Had a complicated relationship.

[Andrew Walsh]

Just one game, huh? Well, you spit on my leg. Leg. I'm. You're suspended from the show for a week.

[Luke Burbank]

I was. I was all. I was an all league at soccer.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, I see.

[Luke Burbank]

Junior year, they needed me. They needed burbs on that again. Mostly because of a lack of other. Other players on the team that could kick the ball. But. But yeah, you know, I was. I. It was one of those things where it was like. Like, you're suspended for a game, but then we need you back because we pretty much. If we have a chance of getting a goal, it's probably. I had the weirdest thing with soccer, which was I was not particularly skilled at it, but I had this very odd, like, lucky thing about getting the ball into the goal. Like, I just somehow when I was in the box, it just seemed to go in. But not because of some special goals. Not because abilities. Not because of Maradona esque proprio perception or whatever they call it. Just because of dumb luck. I remember one time going up and trying to. It was a corner kick, and I jumped up trying to head the ball into the goal. Totally missed it, but caught the ball with my shoulder blade.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, my back.

[Luke Burbank]

Like my scapula. And it just going in and it like looked like one of the coolest moves of all time, except it was completely accidental. Things like that. So anyway, can you use.

[Andrew Walsh]

You can't use your elbow, can you?

[Luke Burbank]

No, you can't.

[Andrew Walsh]

Although shoulder is okay. So it like, basically ends at your shoulder.

[Luke Burbank]

I think it starts. So this was actually more my back.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

Okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

That's true. Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

But like. Yeah, I think if I remember right, it was from your shoulder down on your arm. Was not okay.

[Andrew Walsh]

No.

[Luke Burbank]

That you couldn't use your bicep. Now, speaking of Maradona, there's this play called the Hand of God, where famously, all indications are that Maradona totally just handballed it, but it was in a way that the official couldn't see. And there's all this, like, Zapruder film of it. There's no clear. Because this is, you know, the 70s or whatever. There's no clear shot of the Hand of God play. But if I've watched all the angles, and it's like you just see, like the ball couldn't do what it did without him just reaching in and like, slapping the ball down or something.

[Andrew Walsh]

Back into the left.

[Luke Burbank]

Back and to the left. Exactly. Well, thank you, Roald, for making TBT possible. We couldn't do this without you.

[Andrew Walsh]

Hello and welcome to Top Story.

[Luke Burbank]

All right. Tried to get to this yesterday and didn't. So let's at least deliver on that one. A goal for today, which is the story. Of course I now can't exactly find the original article right in front of me, but a guy in England and I'm gonna, I'm gonna find this. Man turns blue. It's not just a Neil diamond song. Man turns blue England. A guy in England checked himself into the er. His name is Tommy lynch, he's from Derbyshire because his skin had turned blue and there's photographs of it in this BBC article I'm reading. He's 42 years old and his hand is a very upsetting shade of blue. Like it looks like he's maybe been like, like this actually happens when people are poisoned with like polonium and stuff, which is unfortunately something that the KGB has done to people, including Navalny. Like this. And there's a picture that this guy took, I think of himself in the er. They've got him hooked up to a full on oxygen mask. He checks himself into the hospital because he's. First of all, he had gone to bed the night before and he had slept by his account, for a long time. I want to say he'd slept for like 10 or 12 hours and woke up and was completely blue. And so he went into the ER and they were totally shocked and concerned. They could not figure out what was going on with him. Let's see, he said, everybody at the reception, I think they called the emergency room A and E in England. Everyone in the reception of A and E was staring at me like they'd seen a ghost. They whisked me through, put me straight on oxygen, asking me all these questions. I had about 10 doctors around me. At one point they went to take my blood and as soon as she wiped my arm, the wipe went blue. Then it clicked. I said, oh my God, I'm so sorry. They were absolutely fantastic. But I was mortified because what Tommy had realized was the blue that was covering him was from his new blue bed sheets that somebody had given him. The 40 pound set of bed sheets had been gifted to lynch to keep him warm at his barn property in Castle Gresley in November. He had been sleeping in these sheets that were blue. He did not realize, I guess that you should wash sheets before you sleep in them. And so the blue dye of the sheets was slowly wearing off on him. And after this one particularly long night of sleeping, I think, I think if I remember right, he had had a wild night. And then the Next day he was kind of in recovery mode and he had kind of just gone to sleep for a long time. That had fully. He had blew himself in the parlance of Tobias Funke, and that was why he had turned himself blue. Now, what I find so surprising about this is that he didn't instinctively know to throw the sheets into the wash. And that's not because I'm somebody who's exceptionally clean or hygienic or whatever, but because I have actually in. Because I, you know, changed up some things in my house and I bought some new beds upstairs for the guest rooms. And that meant buying new sheets. My. What I've noticed, Andrew, is when you get new sheets out of the kind of like that plastic kind of, you know, sort of not film, but you know what I mean? There's like a. There's a zipper bag.

[Andrew Walsh]

One.

[Luke Burbank]

The zipper bag. Thank you. That's exactly what I'm talking about. There's like that zipper bag that. New sheets come in, new bedding comes in. I feel like when you pull out new bedding, it reeks. It has the weirdest. Maybe it's just where I'm buying this at Costco. Maybe this is just sheets from Costco. But, like, I pulled some of those sheets out, like, I don't know, a few weeks ago because I was gonna set up a new set for one of the upstairs rooms. I try to have. For each room, which is just three rooms in my house, I try to have a set of sheets for the bed and then a backup set of sheets that's always cleaned and ready to go. So if you need to change the sheets, it's not such a hassle. So I realized one of the rooms, I didn't have a backup set. So I pulled that out of the zipper bag and was like. Took us. Took a whiff because, like, low key probably. I was thinking I could just throw these on. It's just my parents, but they were like. The smell from these sheets was incredibly weird and chemically and almost kind of a little bit sulfuric in some way. And so of course, I had to throw them right in the wash. I'm surprised that these sheets, these blue sheets of this guy was using didn't decide. Like it wasn't obvious to him he needed to wash them first.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I don't know. I can't speak to that. I have not had that experience. I don't. We.

[Luke Burbank]

I mean, you would just wash a pair a set of sheets.

[Andrew Walsh]

Instinctively, though, I don't think I would. You would Think that because I'm such a. Because I do like to clean things. But here's the deal. We do have a couple of sets of, like, kind of relatively new sheets. Like, we kind of did that thing, I think, the last time we moved, which was, like, three years ago, we did that thing where we finally, like, like, organized all of the bits and pieces of sheeting that we had around, like, in our bedroom or whatever. And then like, actually kind of kind of recreated sets and figured out what to get rid of and what not to. And we got rid of most of it and replaced it with some, you know, better sheets. It's just, it was one of those moments that even well into my 40s was a little bit of a hangover of my 20s, right? Like, you grab these sheets, you grab those sheets, and then at some point, you're like, wait a second, I'm an adult here. Let me just kind of get rid

[Luke Burbank]

of all these $23 at Costco.

[Andrew Walsh]

Right? But the thing is, Genevieve, I don't think we have bought Costco sheets, which shocks me. I mean, if you mentioned that to Genevieve, that will change before this episode is posted. But I think Genevieve goes online and I will say, and you know, Genevieve loves a deal, so I don't know if she got a deal or not, but she did get some pretty nice sets of sheets that are very soft to the touch and very nice. The nicest sheets I've slept on. But I would assume that she probably made the bed the first time. But sometimes we do that together. That should be a two person. It's so much easier with two people. But I don't ever remember smelling that smell. I want to support this story, but it could either be that I just got sheets from a different place and didn't experience it, or maybe I wasn't in the room. But I swear I can remember putting sheets on a bed where you can still see the creases of the squares because of the way it was folded or whatever.

[Luke Burbank]

Well, you know, what's weird is for me, it would be an obvious that I was going to wash sheets before new sheets, before I put them on the bed. I do not always wash. If I got it. If I get a new glass or some new glasses.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, that. I always.

[Luke Burbank]

I don't. I can. I will admit that there might have been a time or two where, like, I got some new glasses and I was in a hurry and I didn't feel like washing them or running through the dishwasher, and I just sort of put them in the cupboard. Like they're pretty clean, wherever they came from. So that's a weird. That's a weird disconnect for me because you'd think, I mean, that's actually potentially more dangerous, right?

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, I wouldn't do that. Most of our glasses, except for I'm thinking like wine glasses and stuff. I do feel like a lot of our favorite glasses come from vintage shops and stuff like that. And so of course I would do

[Luke Burbank]

that if I got it.

[Andrew Walsh]

Of course. I mean, you wouldn't even. They're sitting on a shelf, people are picking them up. I mean, it wouldn't even be a question. So I don't know. But I do any. Anything that is food related, I'm going to wash it when it gets into the house.

[Luke Burbank]

You know what I've also started doing now? I don't know what you're in your bed, like what your sort of comforter duvet type situation is, but like I was for a long time. So I wash my sheets once a week, typically Sunday is the day for it. And so my whole system, as I've already described is like, I pull the sheets off, I already have a clean set ready to go, and I put the clean set on right then because there's nothing worse than it's like 11 o' clock at night on a Sunday and you go into your bedroom and realize there are no sheets on the bed. So I put the clean sheets on right away and then I immediately take the dirty sheets to the washing machine and throw those in and get those started. But I used to, like, honestly not change the duvet cover. So I have a duvet, you know, whatever, down or something, and then I have a cover on it. And that just. There's just nothing more annoying than trying to wrangle the duvet into the duvet cover. Do you guys have a duvet cover?

[Andrew Walsh]

I have somehow gotten Genevieve off of the duvet system. And I don't know if this is like forever change, but we now have two exactly identical comforters. And they're not the kind that need a cover. Right. The whole thing can be washed. They're kind of like, they've got this nice brightly colored design on it. We have two of them. So you can swap one out. You can throw the whole thing in the washing machine. I still don't wash it every time. I do do the sheets, though. I still think that's like a every, I don't know, four times that I strip the bed. That was it.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe then that was probably my rotation on the duvet cover.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah.

[Luke Burbank]

And then I just. And then the last time, like, two times ago, when I. When I did the sheets, I was like, okay, I just probably throw this thing in. You know, I'm chewing on this thing at night. God knows I'm drooling on it. It's like, it should probably get. Get tossed in the wash. And so I did. And then. And when I put the duvet back in, first of all, I was doing this whole thing where I was tying. You know, the duvet cover had these little strings on it that I could tie, and the duvet itself had, like, you know, fabric hooks, so I could tie it all in. And I think because I thought I had to do that as part of this whole thing, it was adding to the time or whatever, I just didn't do it this time. I just grabbed the corner of the duvet and then put it in, Grabbed the corner of the duvet cover, did it with the other thing, got it all in there, zipped it, and then just gave it a few healthy shakes or whatever. The amount of enjoyment that I felt, literally all week getting into bed and having that, it was all, like, puffed up. It was all, like, fluffed up. The whole thing. The duvet cover smelled nice and clean, and it was just kind of, like, fluffy, and I felt like I was sleeping in a cloud.

[Andrew Walsh]

Oh, wait, you. You. You washed both the COVID and the duvet itself? The fluffy never watched the COVID Yeah, I wouldn't think so.

[Luke Burbank]

I've never. Yeah, I've never watched the actual feather thing, but you're talking about the COVID

[Andrew Walsh]

But it was the act of maybe resetting it that fluffed up the entire thing.

[Luke Burbank]

Maybe the shaking of it to get it to go in there. I don't know what happened, but what I know is then the next time. So the other day on Sunday, so however many days ago that I did the sheets again, I just did the duvet cover again. I just took. Because I have two. I just took the one that was on there off, off, and I put the new one on. And now I'm getting a pretty fast system, which is just like, yeah, I don't have to. I'm not tying it all in there or whatever. And let me tell you, man, same thing this week, like, every time I get into bed. Because, of course, there's nothing better than when you get into bed after you've changed your sheets, that feeling of clean sheets. So. But this is like a whole other level, I swear, that, like, the. The effect of the Clean. Recently changed duvet cover. It's like, it's like a multi day effect. It's not just like, you have one nice night of sleep and then the next day it's like, whatever. It's just like there's. I swear to God, it's like this. I've seen the light. I'm always going to. I mean, at some point this thing will probably. They'll start falling apart. I don't know if they're even meant to be washed once a week. But until they. Until they start to show some wear and tear or whatever, I think my new thing is change the duvet cover every time I do the sheets because it's. It's really, really improving the overall experience. It's like I'm. I want to go to bed right now. I want to go get in bed and put that. Pull that fluffy cloud of a duvet over me.

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't know, I. Maybe I should say, I know that there are some people. It's so cliche to complain about having to put a duvet cover on a duvet. And so I don't want to be that cliche. And also, maybe there's been a backlash to that. I've just seen a lot of, like, kind of. Or maybe it's just. Hannah has said it to me once just like, come on, it's a duvet cover. It's not that hard. Just be an adult or whatever. But, like, there is still something I just hate about that so much that I love. And like, I'm still always trying to remember the difference between a comforter, a bedspread, this or that. I think we actually broke that down on the show one time. I think comforter is the word I'm looking for, but I now that we have a nice comforter, actually a set of, you know, two that are, you know, whatever. A pair of them that we can swap in and out. Like, I just, I feel. I feel like a freedom. I feel like I felt when I deleted my LinkedIn account. You know, just kind of like, why was I doing that?

[Luke Burbank]

Bedspreads are lightweight, decorative, and draped to the floor. Ideal for warmer weather. Comforters are thick, fluffy, and filled with insulation for warmth. That's usually sitting just below the mattress edge, requiring a bed skirt. How often do you change your bed skirt?

[Andrew Walsh]

I don't think we have a bed. Oh, yeah, we don't know. Our bed is like a. Yeah, it looks. Looks presentable without a skirt.

[Luke Burbank]

Yeah, I don't think they're even making. I mean, I don't know if they're making beds that need a bed skirt anymore.

[Andrew Walsh]

Yeah, that's kind of got a mama's family vibe to it, doesn't it? Absolutely. All right, well, I got my mama's family reference in for the day.

[Luke Burbank]

Good. Well, I think that's. Then I think we've done enough. Also, I. I can see that you're texting the fellow business boy, John Sklaroff, that we're. That we're running late for our meeting. So why don't we. Why don't we wrap this up up. And then. And then continue to chart the future course of tbtl?

[Andrew Walsh]

You want it? Yeah. I mean, I guess we're going to be finding out whether or not we keep going. Right today. Yeah. And.

[Luke Burbank]

But if we do, if we find out that it's a green light, then we will be back here tomorrow with more imaginary radio. My hunch is. Yes, My hunch is that we will probably be back here tomorrow. So if you could join us for that, we'd appreciate it. In the meantime, have a great Wednesday. Thanks for listening. And please remember. Remember, no Mountain too tall.

[Andrew Walsh]

And good luck to all. Power out.