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It'S day one of our CES 2025 coverage. We'll be giving you five episodes this week instead of three, so prepare yourself for a deluge. Tech news that won't let up until we're all lying face down in a pool of hypey buzzwords. At least we'll go out knowing all about smart toilets Nvidia finally unveiled their RTX 50 series graphics cards at their keynote today as a treat for the audience members who first had to sit through a supposedly inspiring montage about how AI tokens are enabling a borderline dystopia. And then Jensen Huang burst onto stage wearing alligator skin and roared at the audience, do you like my jacket? Worship me. After reminding us that GPUs just didn't pop out of the ground fully formed, Jensen finally got to the good stuff. And it looks good. Nvidia's claiming the RTX 5070 is on par with the RTX 4090 and will launch at 550 bucks. Huh? Then we got the RTX 5070 Ti at 750, RTX 5080 at 1000 and, and RTX 5090 at 2000 US dollars. That is quite the spread, and I'm inclined to think the Intel Arc B580 had to have something to do with the 5070 being priced that aggressively. And if Nvidia's numbers are anywhere close to accurate, this is not an iterative upgrade. With the help of the newly announced DLSS4, Nvidia's claiming that all of these 50 series cards are twice as fast as their predecessors in some pretty demanding games. All that while using a two slot design with double flow through fans on the 5090, where the 4090 was a three slot and many third party designs used three and a half slots. This less beefy design might have something to do with all of the AI gobbledygook Jensen was going on about. I'm gonna be honest, I wasn't paying attention, but DLSS4 and the new Nvidia Reflex 2 are leaning even more heavily into generating frames on the fly with AI instead of rasterizing. And there's actually a bunch more interesting stuff than Nvidia talked about, and not just the AI. You can interrupt your game to ask about how many pixels are on your character's butt or something, but Mark and I would prefer to go home at some point, so I'll talk about that tomorrow. AMD also had gifts for the tech world. Ridiculous new naming schemes for their products and an aneurysm for Linus. Yeah, as detailed in the LTT video, AMD confirmed that in the next few months, GPUs would launch based on the new RDNA 4 architecture, which is optimized and better. This is literally just a list of synonyms. They gave no details on the new graphics cards other than confirming that, yes, they will be called the RX9070 and 9070 XT. And yes, they explicitly did that to match direct competitor compare, which is robot speak for we copied Nvidia because we don't know who we are without them. Shh. Shh. Amd, it's okay. I know who you are. You're chicken. I don't know who those people on stage were, but if Dr. Lisa Su were here, she wouldn't allow this. I take it back. AMD had the bravery to announce that their new FSR upscaling tech would be exclusive to RX9000 GPUs. And they also announced new versions of the world's best gaming processors, the Ryzen 9900X3D and 9950X3D, which beat Intel's latest flagship even worse than the 9800X3D. That X3D stuff is good. So for the first time, AMD's putting it in a laptop processor. The Fire Range Ryzen 99955 HX3D. Please, please, can we simplify this branding? If Dr. Lisa Su was here, she'd say no, because joining Last year's Ryzen AI 300 series laptop chips is another tier of CPUs above Ryzen 9. That's right, it's the Ryzen AI Max and AI Max 300 series, followed by more Ryzen AI 9, 7 and 5300 series chips. And then just to make things more confusing, because at this point, why not later this year, after the 300 series launches, we're gonna get the Ryzen 200 series mobile chips. There's also the new Ryzen Z2 Extreme, Z2 Normal and Z2 Go. One of the Steam Deck team members had to correct people who thought a Z2 chip would power the next gen Steam deck, a wacky idea they had no reason to believe. Except for this AMD slide featuring two Ryzen Z one powered handhelds and the Steam Deck amd. Listen, it's okay to ask for help with marketing. There are people who do this professionally. Heck, just email me. I'll help you. Just. Just stop Intel CES keynote was opened up by interim co CEO Michelle Johnston Holthouse, which is too many syllables for me to say all the time. Where's Pat I need he's alive after digging through a maze of AI client edge scalability type jargon, I figured out that intel was announcing more Core Ultra 200 series laptop chips, the 200U series for thin and lights, 200H for some more beef, and 200HX for extra beef. Hold the mayo. These all use the same Aero Lake architecture as the desktop Core Ultra 200s series, not the lunar lake architecture in the 200V series which had on package memory. That kind of design has been killed off, but not Team Blue's Arc graphics cards. We are very committed to the discrete graphics market, says Michelle Johnston Holthouse. It takes too long to say all that. Please have a shorter name. I don't know, maybe something like Our sponsor Saily, the global ESIM service that keeps you connected while traveling, even if you're gonna pass through multiple countries. What, are you trying out for the Harlem Globetrotters? Well, if so, you're gonna wanna make use of Saily's affordable prices for regional and global plans and download just one ESIM for your whole trip. This way you'll avoid standing in line to buy a local SIM card at the airport, which is good because the crowd is gonna want pictures with you. Saily ESIM plans are compatible with most iOS and Android devices, and if yours isn't compatible, you'll get a full refund with chat support available 24. 7. Get an exclusive 15% discount on Saily ESIM data plans. Just download the Saily app and use code techlinked at checkout. Hey, believe it or not, there's even more tech news. Enough for quick bits, enough to drive you mad. Dell is chucking out its laptop and desktop brands, swapping XPS Inspiron, Latitude and Precision for the much simpler and Apple flavored Dell, Dell Pro and Dell Pro Max. I can see the appeal. Dell executives were probably hoping teens with frosted tips would once again exclaim, dude, you're getting a Dell. As they did in 2001. But that was before Adele's debuted album in 2008. Whoa. Uh oh. Also, each form of Dell will be further divided into plus and Premium variants, which kind of messes up the whole simplicity angle. But hey, at least some of them will come with swappable USB C ports, so you can fidget with those if you're bored. Qualcomm announced a new entry in its Snapdragon X series of laptop CPUs, and just like the last time they did this with the X plus, the new chip called simply Snapdragon X is slotting in at the bottom of the list. I mean, the flagship X Elite went from extremely over hyped to extremely medium hyped, so you might as well go with that flow. For that reason, I'm a little skeptical of Qualcomm's benchmarks when they say the X is up to 1.6 times faster than an Intel Core 5120U, which I don't even know what that is. So happy for you or I'm sorry that happened. The HDMI forum has announced HDMI 2.2, which will double the bandwidth of HDMI 2.1 to support 96 gigabits per second. So you can play games on the PlayStation 6 at 8K and 240 hertz. I'm sorry, that's ridiculous. 10K at 120 hertz. But watch out, because VESA is answering with an updated DisplayPort 2.1 spec that allows for 80 gigabits per second transmission over cables, three times the length they previously allowed, which was one meter. So make sure your video data has enough snacks for the road trip. It's about to go on. I'll see you on the other side of this small room. The greatest trick Microsoft ever pulled was apparently convincing users they're using Google when they're using Bing instead, as spotted by Windows. Latest when users search for Google through Bing, they're now served with a very Google Doodle looking graphic above a search bar on a page that has been scrolled down slightly to hide the Bing logo at the top. What's the end game here? Gaslight people. Until they discover they've been using Bing the whole time, and maybe they'll be like, hmm, I guess Bing's not so bad after all. It's literally Search Engine Stockholm Syndrome. And new leaks have led Nintendo fans to become possessed of the idea that you might be able to use the Switch 2's Joy Con as a mouse. First off, new images of the Joy Con leaked on Baidu with a serial number that is valid on Nintendo's Check warranty page. So those look legit and they appear to have a laser sensor on the connector side. Combine that with shipping data, mentioning adhesive tape to be used as a mouse sole. Which got people thinking about how you can do something similar with the Lenovo Legion Go controllers, but instead of the controller sitting upright, you put the rail side down and use the trigger as a left click. I hope this is true, if only to strike fear Into Xbox and PS5 owners in games that support Crossplay. Once Switch players join the lobby. Oh no, the children are here. And why don't you join me again tomorrow for more tech news? Because I have to do something with all the extras. It's piling up in here. It's getting hard to breathe.
