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shop sometimes when I'm feeling down, I go back to my parents to find the Tamagotchi that lived on my backpack in middle school. My first technology little guy never paid the rent anyways. Tech news Time Mozilla is once again refusing to pull the plug on Windows 7 users, announcing that Firefox 1.15 extended support release will continue receiving security updates for another six months, but pushing the deadline from February to August 2026. This is now the fourth extension since the original September 2024 end date, meaning Windows 7 users have been on over six years of borrowed time since Microsoft officially ended support in January 2020, which is an impressive commitment from both Mozilla and the people who apparently still haven't found the will to upgrade. I'm too weak, and Mozilla is not alone in enabling this behavior. Microsoft themselves still push Defender security updates all the way back to Windows 7 and even Vista. Vista? You dare speak its name. Some holdouts have even used bypass tools to install Windows extended security updates they were never supposed to get. And Vista users pulled a similar trick with Windows Server 2008 updates, whose final support just ended in January. At what point does a software company decide that hospice care is just a little too unethical for these older operating systems? I don't know. It might be time to take them out behind the barn. Guys, we're talking about operating systems, so it's okay. The FBI has launched an investigation into multiple games on Steam that were secretly embedded with malware. The infected titles include block blasters, PirateFi, Dash Verse, FBS, Lampy, Lunara, Moldova, Kemia, and and Tokenova. Recognize any of those? Was it the one that's not a game? And actually a landlocked Eastern European nation next to Romania got your ass? All of the infected games were seeded with malware designed to drain crypto wallets and hijack accounts. The Bureau's Seattle division is urging victims to fill out a form on FBI.gov where they may be eligible for restitution under federal law. The agency suspects that all of the infected titles were the work of a single threat actor operating between 2024 and 2026. Valve has also been emailing affected users to confirm the investigation. The most infamous case was Block blasters, which stole $32,000 from streamer Ryvoplavniex during a live cancer treatment fundraiser on Twitch. When the scammers were tracked down by security research group VX Underground, who found the hacker's Telegram credentials hard coded into the malware. The they attempted to justify themselves by saying the streamer I'd probably make it back in a few hours and I think I speak for everyone when I say that these guys can eat Schmidt and pie. Whoa, language. It's the hardest words I know. The game was verified on Steam as it contained no malware on release, but a patch pushed by the hackers added a crypto drainer later, which Investigators estimated stole $150,000 total from from hundreds of accounts. Despite Valve regularly pulling these games, the flood of new releases keeps letting bad actors slip through the cracks. This was the perfect option for giving the FBI something to investigate that isn't related to extremely well connected deceased financiers. So it worked out. Iranian hackers launched a massive cyber attack on medical technology giant Stryker about two weeks after the US Launched airstrikes on the country. The Iran linked hacking group Handala has claimed responsibility, saying it extracted 50 terabytes of data and wiped over 200,000 systems, servers and mobile devices. Security researchers believe the hackers gained access to Stryker's Microsoft Intune console and used the company's own infrastructure to wipe everything clean. Honestly, it's pretty wild that there are Microsoft features still stable enough to even allow a hack like this. Stryker confirmed a global disruption to their Microsoft environment and says medical devices like Mako and Lifepak are still safe to use, but the company has no timeline for full restoration. In an SEC filing, Stryker disclosed it doesn't yet know the full financial impact, which is concerning for a Fortune 500 company. I mean, you're in charge of 500 fortunes, guys. That's what that means. Handela claims that Stryker offices in 79 countries have been shut down. Nice close again. Still working on numbers, and employees report that even personal phones were wiped if they had corporate apps installed. And the conflict is having other impacts on the tech world as well. Iranian Drone strikes knocked Qatar's Ras Lafan helium complex offline on March 2, removing roughly 30% of the global helium supply. Helium is used to cool silicon wafers during chip fabrication, and there's no viable immediate substitute putting South Korea's entire semiconductor industry on a two week clock before things start breaking down. SK Hynix says it has diversified and secured sufficient inventory for now, but if the outage drags on, it could be an issue for everyone, including computer manufacturers, party supply stores, and that creepy clown that keeps showing up in the background of my childhood photos. He's in the back of every shot with our sponsor, Life and Wave Pro. Do you have teeth? Do you brush them with a manual toothbrush? You're doing it wrong. The Laifenwave Pro is the world's first electric toothbrush to combine both oscillation and vibration in what Laifen calls wave motion technology. Wow. Which means it actually gets into the gaps between your teeth and along the gum line where regular brushes miss you just completely. It comes with two Pro brush heads, one for plaque removal and one for whitening. It also has a smart pressure sensor that lets you know if you're brushing too hard, keeping your gums healthy and happy. There's a companion app with brushing reports and a timer, and it has a wireless charging stand, which you'll barely need because the battery lasts up to 70 days on a single charge. And at 55 decibels it's quiet enough that you won't wake Anyone up at 6am Starting at $99.99. Check out the Life and Wave Pro using our link below. As far as I understand it, Tamagotchis don't usually survive for 20 years, but somehow mine has. Frankly, it's not a pleasant sight. It can barely wiggle its wrinkled body. It wakes up to hear the quick bits, gives a little smile, and then goes back to sleep. It won't be long now. I hope. Google Maps is getting what Google calls its biggest navigation update in over a decade, replacing the flat 2D driving view with a full 3D immersive navigation mode that renders buildings, overpasses, crosswalks and traffic signs along your route in more detail than it did before. There's also a conversational Ask Maps feature for natural language queries or rolling out now in the us Just hope when you use this that Gemini doesn't start hallucinating or you'll get the full rally driver experience. 3 left over crest straight off a cliff G Fiber, the ISP formerly known as Google Fiber, is merging with Astound Broadband in a deal that makes investment firm Stone Peak the majority owner. With Alphabet stepping back to a minority shareholder role, the combined company will keep the G Fiber executive team and aims to become a national fiber platform. Though Google declined to comment beyond its press release. So instead of killing G Fiber outright, Google just put it in a little basket and left it at someone else's house. Which canonically makes G Fiber Harry Potter. If, like Google is Voldemort here. And he killed Harry's parents, but had a last second change of heart and kept Harry alive, but didn't wanna raise him as his weird little snake baby because, well, frankly, he might have been the Dark Lord, but he was not ready to be a parent. The world's most annoying hacking group, Shiny Hunters, has struck again, claiming to have stolen nearly 1 petabyte of data from Canadian tech outsourcing giant Telus Digital. That petabyte allegedly includes source code, financial information, FBI background checks, and voice recordings of support calls across 28 of its client companies. The Hunters got in using Google Cloud credentials found in the earlier Salesloft drift breach they conducted that is still causing problems. Shiny hunters demanded $65 million and so far Telus has ghosted them. But I don't know, the hackers might not take no for an answer. They probably really want that Canadian money cause it's shiny. Our bills have some shiny parts. Do you get it? They will never stop until they get our $2 coins. They will never stop until their bird nests are complete. A Texas cybertruck owner is suing Tesla after her vehicle allegedly tried to drive straight off an overpass in full self driving mode. The plaintiff in the suit, Justine St. Amour, who was evidently out for a drive while taking a break from being the femme fatale in a film noir detective movie, is interestingly connecting this incident directly to Elon Musk being irresponsible. What? What? Huh? Claiming that Tesla was negligent in choosing to keep him as CEO. The lawsuit specifically references Musk overriding the opinion of Tesla engineers who recommended the lidar over a camera only system to support Tesla's FSD capabilities. Last week, a judge upheld a $243 million verdict in a separate fatal autopilot crash. Which is bad news for Tesla as the NHTSA has linked the system to nearly 1,000 other crashes. And with Musk needing to sell 10 million FSD subscriptions to unlock his trillion dollar bonus, I think he might have to settle for just having $843 billion instead. Aw, Chin up buddy. If you don't get it, you're a loser. And perhaps inspired by Elon, Alexa now has an adults only, sassy personality mode that lets Amazon's assistant curse and roast you. Though it will steer clear of truly not safe for work stuff like explosive explicit sexual content or discussion of illegal activities. Because you never go full grok, Sassy mode cannot be activated when the Amazon Kids mode is enabled and requires a facial scan to unlock. A PC World writer got absolutely dragged when Alexa told him it's not her fault his lights have trust issues, and maybe he should try being specific instead of blaming the hardware for your vague requests. Yikes. I can fix her. Riley no, she's probably just grumpy. She just needs a back robe. And you can fix your alarming lack of tech news by coming back on Monday for more tech news. Remember, the virtual pet inside your Tamagotchi is real and alive and apparently immortal in like a gross Lovecraftian way where it just kind of keeps aging but doesn't actually die. Have a good weekend.