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Can't wait to see what kind of interesting tech news you brought today for me. I got. What's that? You don't have any. Hey, that's okay, you can have some of mine. Reviews are up for Intel's new Panther lake laptop processors, aka the Core Ultra 300 series, led by the flagship Intel Core Ultra X9388H. Yes, intel complicated their naming scheme again by throwing some X's in there. But before you use that pitchfork in your hand to do something you'll regret, listen to this. These chips are pretty good. In single core, the X9388H is at the front of the pack for Windows laptop chips, only being beaten by the Apple M4 and M5, while in multi core it beats the M4 and nearly matches the M5, which you know, runs at a much lower wattage, so it's got less power to work with, but it looks like it's pretty efficient too. And we haven't even talked about the integrated Arc B390 graphics. My favorite hyper focused YouTuber the Fox, found that when matched Watt for Watt, it even beat AMD Strix Halo AKA the most powerful chip you can get in a gaming handheld in some games, although, yeah, they went back and forth but do you under get do you understand guys? Are you picking up what is being placed on the ground? Intel's back. As the Verge says, call it a comeback. You can indeed do that. Now, time to chill us out here for a second, okay? Because yes, these are still laptop chips and it remains to be seen how good the desktop Nova Lake lineup will be when it launches this fall, but intel seems confident. Team Blue's graphics guru Tom Peterson told Clark Club 386 that they're not bothering to build their own version of strix Halo because AMD's integrated GPUs are not that competitive. The vast majority of gaming handhelds and consoles use AMD graphics, while there's like two intel ones. So I'm not sure what competition Tom is referring to here, but we love the confidence. Yes, Intel Microsoft has confirmed that it handed over BitLocker encryption keys to to US law enforcement during an investigation early last year, reopening the long running debate over who actually controls your encrypted data. According to multiple reports, the company provided a set of BitLocker recovery keys to the FBI to help unlock suspects laptops, and Microsoft has been very clear that this wasn't a one off event. Apparently the company gets requests for keys around 20 times a year and guess what? If the government asks, under the right legal process, they do it again. We don't care. We're Microsoft. The key detail is how this happens. Microsoft says it can only provide keys that are already stored in its servers. If you sign into Windows with a Microsoft account, BitLocker keys are automatically backed up, linking them to every machine you sign into. From Microsoft's perspective, turning those keys over is no different than responding to any other lawful data request. But it's worth pointing out that at one time it was normal and expected for companies like Apple and Google to fight said requests and try to protect their users privacy a little more. Microsoft may have forgotten that, but privacy advocates haven't, with Senator Ron Wyden saying it is simply irresponsible for tech companies to ship products in a way that allows them to secretly turn over users encryption keys. Say it louder for the people in the back, I'll wait. Luckily Windows workarounds for signing in with a local account only seem to still work, and Microsoft does say that they will delete the keys at your request. So it's not all bad. Still, the real alternative is to just install Linux if you don't want the big man upstairs finding your just enormous stash of cat photos. Yes, you have a problem, but maybe the government isn't the best entity to lead your intervention. TikTok users panicked a little bit after the US version of the app, now officially controlled by the mostly American TikTok USDS Joint Venture LLC prompted them to accept the new Terms of Service and privacy policy. Posts quickly spread online claiming there was all sorts of scary new clauses, including one about collecting info on a user's immigration status, gender identity or sexual orientation. But it turns out that stuff was already in there pre Americanization and mostly lines up with the type of data collected by other social media apps. Don't worry, they collect pretty much everything about you, which is normal. However, there were three major changes that may be concerning Precise GPS location is now up for grabs if you give the TikTok app permissions for that. Interactions with AI features weren't even mentioned in the previous policy, and now those can be collected too, and that data can be used to personalize ads elsewhere on the web, not just on TikTok. So, concerning stuff for sure, but it's more like the bog standard privacy concerns we've gotten used to, rather than new concerns about getting disappeared by the US Government, which is very much a concern for many right now. But the stuff in this privacy policy that's familiar. I mean, it almost feels nostalgic now, as if to emphasize all of this hubbub, TikTok had a big outage today with which, combined with the privacy concerns, may have driven TikTok alternative upscrolled to the number 12 spot on the iOS app store. But if you ask me, instead of trying that, you should try our sponsor, Squarespace Everybody's got an all in one friend, the kind of buddy you can play DD with, chop some lumber with, or even just talk about your feelings. But not everyone has an all in one website platform. Until now. Squarespace. It's what we use for the Linus Media Group website because it just works. It's an all in one platform that lets us design something that actually feels like us. With Squarespace's design, intelligence and AI tools, building a beautiful bespoke website is fast and intuitive. Payments are simple, too. Everything's in one place with tons of options for customers. Whether you're a creator, a small business, a growing brand, or somebody's all in one friend, Squarespace makes bringing your ideas online a breeze. Start building your website today and receive 10% off your first purchase by visiting squarespace.comtechlinks okay, how are those? Do those feel okay? You don't. You want to pick one of the quick bits? Maybe? Okay. It's just, you know, it's just like beggars can't be choosers, you know, like, you didn't. You didn't. You didn't bring any. And that's fine. Microsoft is dealing with yet another patch Tuesday Faceplant after admitting their latest Windows 11 security update left some PCs completely unable to boot, sticking users with an unmountable boot volume error. The company admits it doesn't know yet what combination of hardware or settings triggers the issue, only that reports of the bug are limited. And it only seems to affect real computers, not virtual machines, because those aren't real. Hey, remember back when updates actually fixed things instead of just making them worse? And here's the part where Grayson wants me to do a very specific reference to Ford versus Harari. Can we have more of that, please? More of that old girl the Good Updates the team behind the Stop Killing Games movement in the EU announced that 1.3 million of the total 1.4 million signatures collected for the EU citizens initiative have been verified. Only 1 million were needed to ensure that the issue is discussed at the European Commission. So now it'll no doubt be discussed 0.3 million harder the goal of Stop Killing Games is not to force companies to host live service games forever. It's just to give gamers an option to keep playing, whether that's locally hosted servers or a proper offline mode, whatever. Just something. And the country that apparently cares the most about that is Germany, where they know that game companies waiting to fix this until after people have complained is just inefficient. It's much simpler to make it perfect perfect the first time. Try it the US Department of Transportation plans to use Google Gemini to draft new regulations, aiming to dramatically speed up rulemaking by having the weird new alien robot thing make them up per internal records. Leadership isn't seeking perfection or even very good rules. Apparently they just want good enough. Considering this agency handles railways and fricking airplanes is good enough really the goal? Maybe Gemini can hallucinate some regulations on in flight entertainment. The last time I flew, the Mask of Zorro wasn't available, and to calm down in the middle of the air, I really need my Spanish sword fighting movies, man. JBL's new Bandbox speakers come with an offline AI button that can split songs into individual stems, letting you selectively mute parts of songs such as vocals or individual instruments. The processing happens locally on the speaker, not in the cloud, sort of giving you the same effect as a multi track recording. Instead of just listening to an MP3, JBL pitches it as the perfect little speaker for practice karaoke remixing stuff on the fly. And hey, if you use it to remove the guitar from AC DC songs, maybe you'll finally unlock Angus Young's mystical powers of flight, still a mystery to science. And YouTuber Retro Game Addict successfully ordered Domino's Pizza and that's the end. Congrats to him now he did it using a 20 year old Nintendo Wii. Thanks to the Wii Link project resurrecting Nintendo's long dead online services, the aptly named Food Channel started life as the Japan Only Deme channel back in 2006 before Nintendo shut everything down in 2017. Wii Link, a community project launched in 2023, rebuilds those servers and pipes your orders through the modern API used by Domino's. I would never have guessed there's a secret society of Nintendo Wii playing pizza lovers who refuse to let this eccentric method of ordering die. But learning that there is makes me so happy. But it would make me even happier if you came back here for more tech news on Wednesday. And maybe, you know, you could bring some of your own tech news next time, too. You know, as was discussed at length in the email Sharon sent out multiple times. Do you need help fixing your Internet? Cause I can. I just. Just, you know, looking forward to seeing it. Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay, fine.