TechLinked Podcast Summary

Episode Title: iPhone 17 / iPhone Air event, A solution to web 'decline' + more!
Date: September 11, 2025
Hosts: Linus Media Group
Show Description: A thrice-weekly news show about tech + gaming culture

Episode Overview

This episode dives into the satirical aftermath of Apple's latest event, dissecting the new iPhone 17, the ultra-thin iPhone Air, and a host of other product announcements laced with the signature TechLinked sarcasm. The hosts also address a new attempt to solve “the decline of the open web” with an open licensing standard for web content and run through a varied set of “quick bits” on other tech headlines—ranging from SSD firmware drama to lossless Spotify streams and wild new gadgets for bio-music.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Apple Event Mockery – iPhone 17, iPhone Air, and More

(00:30 – 03:47)

• The team humorously “recaps” the recent Apple keynote with exaggerated product descriptions and jabs at Apple’s usual marketing lingo.
• iPhone Air: Marketed as “the most anxiety inducing iPhone we’ve ever made” at just 5.6mm thin, except for a “camera plateau” where “we smooshed all the electronics.”
  • “We thought about calling it the camera ledge, but didn’t want to give the iPhone factory workers any ideas.” (B, 00:45)
• Battery Life and Accessories: Despite claims of “all day battery,” Apple immediately announces a “magnetic iPhone Air exclusive battery pack for no reason.”
• A19 Pro Chip Confusion: The iPhone Air supposedly uses the “same” chip as the Pro models—except it’s actually less (5 GPU cores vs. 6).
  • “I love using the iPhone Air and using the word same to mean different...” (B, 01:22)
• iPhone 17 Pro & Pro Max: Feature an even larger camera bump (nicknamed “camera plateau”), a gaudy orange color “that just screams R2D2 with a spray tan” (B, 01:50), and filmmaker-focused features like faster charging, ProRes/Raw/Genlock.
• General iPhone 17 Upgrades: Upgrades pushed down to the base lineup:
  • 256 GB base storage, 120Hz display, 3000 nits peak brightness
  • Simultaneous front and rear camera video recording
  • Center Stage camera that flips to landscape mode for... “keeping your other hand where it is, clicking the Buy button... for every single one of your moms.” (B, 02:28)
  • “While you’re at it, buy her the new crossbody strap so she can wear her new iPhone like a purse.” (B, 02:37)
• Accessories & Other Refreshes:
  • AirPods Pro 3: Double the ANC, heart rate sensors, live translation (not for EU users—cue rant against EU regulation: “for that place shall remain a pit of anguish and despair for the regulatory sins of its corrupted and defiled elites.”) (B, 03:17)
  • Apple Watch Series 11 (with 5G), Watch Ultra 3 (satellite texting), SE3 (“Yeah, it’s cheap. What?”)
• End-of-segment quip: “You must buy one for me. And you must do this out of love, not obligation.” (B, 05:49)

2. A Solution to the ‘Decline’ of the Web: RSL Licensing

(03:47 – 05:59)

• Introduction to “Really Simple Licen” (RSL)—a new protocol for web publishers to license their content to AI data scrapers.
  • RSL is likened to Cloudflare’s “Pay Per Crawl,” letting publishers set terms and block web crawlers without the right license token.
• The joke continues: “and a laminated card that says McLovin.” (C, 04:18)
• For RSL to work, AI companies will need to buy in; skepticism is palpable.
  • The team notes that the protocol’s creators include Eckhart Walther (RSS co-creator)—cue music joke: “This is just a guess, but he’s probably also a big fan of Avril Lavigne. Famous not-liker of when you go and make things so complicated...” (C, 04:29)
• DeleteMe Sponsor Plug: Framed as a real-world solution to data broker privacy invasions. They joke about only reporting “really big” data breaches because “I just don’t want to bring down the vibe.” (C, 05:15)

3. Quick Bits – Fast-Paced Tech Headlines & Reactions

(05:59 – 08:32)

• Windows SSD Drama Resolved:
  • Not Microsoft’s fault—SSD manufacturers shipped drives with unstable pre-release firmware.
  • “Check if your model… has updated firmware available, and check your own biases while you’re at it. I know we blamed Microsoft... but I think you might still be the problem.” (C, 06:14)
• Spotify Rolls Out Lossless Streaming:
  • 24-bit/44.1kHz FLAC for existing Premium users—no extra tier; not as high as Apple/Tidal, “but you won’t be able to tell the difference.” (C, 07:03)
  • “But I will.” (B, 07:16)
• Nvidia’s Rubin CPX AI GPU Debut:
  • New “Rubin CPX” module uses 128GB GDDR7, serves as a co-processor for larger Rubin accelerators.
  • “…making it better in some way that I frankly didn’t have time to verify.” (C, 07:29)
• Pocket Scion – Bio-Music Gadget:
  • Device converts biological electrical signals to sound, a collaboration between Modern Biology and Instruo.
  • Four unique digital instruments like “Fungal Waves,” and users can record “gleepy and glorpy sounds.” (C, 08:15)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the iPhone Air’s “Thinness”:
  • “It’s just 5.6 millimeters thin, except where we smooshed all the electronics into the camera plateau.” (B, 00:39)
• On the Apple Event Format:
  • “We thought about calling it the camera ledge, but didn’t want to give the iPhone factory workers any ideas.” (B, 00:49)
• On Apple’s EU Restrictions:
  • “For that place shall remain a pit of anguish and despair for the regulatory sins of its corrupted and defiled elites.” (B, 03:25)
• On Data Breach Fatigue:
  • “Data breaches happen so often, I’ve started only reporting on the really big ones. I’m sorry, I just don’t want to bring down the vibe.” (C, 05:15)
• On Windows SSD Trouble:
  • “Check your own biases while you’re at it. I know we blamed Microsoft… but I think you might still be the problem.” (C, 06:14)
• Music Nerd Brag:
  • “But I will.” (B, 07:16—re: most users not telling the difference between lossless formats)

Important Timestamps

• 00:30–03:47 – Apple event roast: iPhone 17, iPhone Air, accessories, Apple Watch, AirPods, and snarky product commentary
• 03:47–05:59 – RSL (Really Simple Licen): open web licensing for crawlers, RSS jokes, and DeleteMe privacy pitch
• 05:59–08:32 – Quick Bits: SSD firmware drama, Spotify lossless, Nvidia Rubin CPX, Pocket Scion
• Throughout – Frequent satirical, punchy asides and pop culture references

Conclusion

This jam-packed episode delivers the news with irreverent humor and unfiltered reactions, lampooning the tech industry’s latest headlines—from Apple’s “innovations” and regulatory snags to new web licensing ideas and eccentric gadgets. The frequent banter, rapid-fire delivery, and sharp wit make it a must-listen (or read) for anyone looking to stay informed on tech with a side of comedy.