TED Talks Daily: How Music Helped Me Live Through Long COVID | Joshua Roman

Episode Release Date: April 19, 2025
Host/Author: TED
Host Host: Elise Hu

Introduction

In this compelling episode of TED Talks Daily, host Elise Hu introduces a profoundly personal and inspiring story from cellist, composer, and TED fellow, Joshua Roman. Joshua delves into his harrowing battle with long COVID—a chronic condition affecting millions worldwide—and illustrates how music became his lifeline through this challenging period. This summary captures the key points, discussions, insights, and heartfelt conclusions presented by Joshua Roman.

Joshua Roman's Battle with Long COVID

Joshua Roman begins by sharing his personal encounter with long COVID, highlighting the severe and multifaceted symptoms he endured.

• Initial Onset and Symptoms:

  • [06:21] "Three years ago, I was facing the possibility of never playing this beautiful music again."
  • [06:23] "In January of '21, I caught COVID, and unfortunately, I never fully recovered."
  • Joshua describes experiencing dysautonomia, a condition affecting the nervous system's regulation of bodily functions, leading to extreme fatigue and physical weakness. He mentions the constant struggle with brain fog, which impaired his cognitive abilities to the extent that he had to cease activities like reading and driving.

• Impact on Daily Life:

  • [07:00] "The simple act of walking up the stairs to my bedroom completely laid me out. I only made it halfway before falling."
  • Joshua details the debilitating physical fatigue and the frustration of not being able to perform even basic tasks, emphasizing the profound impact on his daily life and career as a cellist.

The Struggle to Play the Cello Again

As Joshua grapples with his health challenges, his passion for music becomes both a source of turmoil and hope.

• Abandoning the Practice Routine:

  • [08:32] "Adjusting to this new reality hasn't been particularly graceful."
  • After pushing himself through significant performances despite his declining health, Joshua eventually had to abandon his rigorous daily practice routine of over 30 years, symbolizing a critical low point in his journey.

• Emotional and Mental Toll:

  • [09:04] "I had been stuck in a gig mentality for much of my career, waiting for the phone to ring..."
  • He reflects on how his relentless pursuit of perfection and external validation led to spiritual exhaustion and a loss of hope in the meaningfulness of his work, culminating in nearly abandoning his cello altogether.

Rediscovering the Power of Music

Joshua's path to recovery is intricately tied to his relationship with music, serving as both a therapeutic and transformative force.

• Reconnecting with the Cello:

  • [09:56] "I finally, literally dusted off the case and pulled out my cello again."
  • Invited by a friend to perform at a summer solstice party, Joshua hesitantly returns to his instrument, experiencing a profound emotional and physical reconnection as he plays.

• Creation of "Immunity":

  • [11:23] "When I decided to write a piece for this project, I was nervous. I wanted to capture all of the meaning, all of the pain..."
  • Through improvisation and allowing himself to follow the music naturally, Joshua composes a piece titled "Immunity", embodying his journey of pain, resilience, and joy. This creative process underscores the therapeutic power of embracing vulnerability and letting go of perfectionism.

• Performance Highlights:

  • [12:27] "Here it is. Immunity."
  • Joshua's performance of his original composition, alongside pieces by Johann Sebastian Bach, serves as a testament to his perseverance and the healing influence of music.

Embracing Vulnerability and Connection

Beyond the technical aspects of music, Joshua emphasizes the importance of emotional honesty and connection in his recovery.

• Vulnerability on Stage:

  • [17:44] "It's still scary for me to be up here talking about my vulnerabilities."
  • As a perfectionist, Joshua grapples with the fear of making mistakes. However, he realizes that allowing himself to be vulnerable creates deeper connections with his audience and enriches his musical expression.

• Shift in Perspective:

  • [19:15] "It took this debilitating condition for me to confront myself and embrace a perspective that allows me not only to give, but to receive the gift of music."
  • Joshua discusses his conscious decision to prioritize connection over perfection, transforming his approach to music and life. This shift enables him to find joy and meaning beyond the accolades and external validation he once sought.

• Ongoing Journey:

  • [18:28] "Long COVID is now considered a chronic condition, and I count myself lucky that with help from Mount Sinai's Long COVID recovery program, I'm learning how to better manage symptoms."
  • While acknowledging that he will never be the same, Joshua remains committed to adapting to his new reality and continuing his musical journey with renewed purpose and resilience.

Conclusion

Joshua Roman's story is a powerful narrative of overcoming adversity through the unifying and healing power of music. His journey from the depths of long COVID to rediscovering his passion and embracing vulnerability serves as an inspiration to many facing similar struggles. Joshua's message underscores the importance of resilience, the significance of human connection, and the transformative impact of allowing oneself to be imperfectly human.

Notable Quotes:

• "Three years ago, I was facing the possibility of never playing this beautiful music again." [06:21]
• "I almost lost my ability to play the cello." [Implicit in the narrative]
• "I was having trouble seeing that possibility." [09:36]
• "It took this debilitating condition for me to confront myself and embrace a perspective that allows me not only to give, but to receive the gift of music." [19:15]

Production Credits:

This episode was produced and edited by Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Greene, Lucy Little, Alejandra Salazar, and Tonsika Sarmarniva, mixed by Christopher Faizy Bogan, with additional support from Emma Tobner and Daniela Ballarezzo.

Further Information:

For more curated TED content, visit ted.com. Stay tuned to TED Talks Daily for more thought-provoking ideas and inspiring stories.