Episode Overview

Podcast: TED Talks Daily
Episode: How to build your confidence — and spark it in others | Brittany Packnett Cunningham (re-release)
Release Date: November 1, 2025
Speaker: Brittany Packnett Cunningham (TED 2019 Talk)
Main Theme:
This episode features educator and activist Brittany Packnett Cunningham as she explores the “code of confidence”—what it is, why it’s essential, and how to both cultivate it in yourself and help spark it in others. Drawing on her experience as a Black woman, a teacher, and a leader, Brittany shares memorable stories and actionable strategies to develop what she calls “revolutionary confidence,” making a compelling case that confidence is not just a “soft skill” but a vital ingredient for turning dreams into reality, especially for those whom society often sidelines.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Meaning and Importance of Confidence

• Personal Definition:
  Brittany opens with a memory of a book featuring activist Septima Clark, whose image defined confidence for her, saying,

  “Confidence is something that we underestimate the importance of. We treat it like a nice to have instead of a must have.”
  ([04:41])

• Beyond Knowledge and Resources:
  Despite society’s focus on knowledge and resources, Brittany argues,

  "If knowledge and resources were all that we needed, we wouldn't still be here. And I believe that confidence is one of the main things missing from the equation."
  ([05:06])

• Why It Matters:
  Confidence is described as the vital “spark” before action, essential for moving from inspiration to implementation and for persisting despite failure.

  “Confidence is the difference between being inspired and actually getting started, between trying and doing until it's done. Confidence helps us keep going even when we failed.”
  ([06:02])

Classroom Stories: Building and Breaking Confidence

• Jamal’s Story:
  Jamal, a brilliant but unfocused student, initially struggled with participation. Brittany negotiated alternative ways for him to work, ultimately building his confidence to share his writing aloud for the first time. The class’s reaction was powerful:

  “The entire class erupted into applause. A standing ovation for our brave friend Jamal, who finally showed up as his most confident self for the first time that year.”
  ([08:44])

• Regina’s Story:
  Regina finished her work early and became a distraction; Brittany admits she chose control over support, resulting in extinguishing Regina’s spark of confidence:

  “My approach communicated to Regina that she herself was a distraction. I watched the light go out from her eyes... I have literally prayed that I did not do irreparable harm.”
  ([10:07])

The High Stakes of Confidence for the Marginalized

• Confidence as a “Revolutionary Choice”:
  Many students were the last people society invites to be confident, but Brittany insists their confidence is crucial:

  “For some of us, confidence is a revolutionary choice, and it would be our greatest shame to see our best ideas go unrealized and our brightest dreams go unreached, all because we lacked the engine of confidence.”
  ([11:27])

The Confidence Code: Permission, Community, Curiosity

• Three Pillars:
  Brittany lays out her formula for confidence:
  1. Permission – Needed to exist
  2. Community – Nurtures confidence
  3. Curiosity – Affirms and strengthens it
• Permission:
  Story of Brittany’s mother negotiating at car dealerships:

  “What she was actually doing was giving me permission to defy expectations and to show up confidently in my skill no matter who doubts me. Confidence needs permission to exist.”
  ([12:38])

• Community:
  Experience with Team Lioness, all-female Maasai rangers, showing how confidence is sustained by others:

  “I asked Purity … do you ever get scared? She said, ‘Of course I do. But I call on my sisters. They remind me that we will be better than these men and that we will not fail.’”
  ([13:39])

• Curiosity:
  Example of a manager debriefing a failed event, opening with,

  “‘What was your intention?’ … that question invited me to learn from my own mistakes instead of damage my already fragile confidence, curiosity invites people to be in charge of their own learning.”
  ([14:24])

Vision for a More Confident World

• Building the World We Dream:
  Brittany paints her vision:

  “A world that knows that that kind of confidence is exactly the key we need to unlock the future that we want. I have enough confidence to believe that that world will indeed come to pass and that we are the ones to make it so.”
  ([15:37])

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Confidence is the necessary spark before everything that follows.” ([06:06])
• “A lack of confidence pulls us down from the bottom and weighs us down from the top, crushing us between a flurry, of can'ts, won'ts, and impossibles.” ([10:27])
• “Permission births confidence, community nurtures it, and curiosity affirms it.” ([12:04])
• “If I am ever in doubt, I need you to be there to restore my hope and to rebuild my certainty in confidence I can find in community.” ([13:55])
• “None of us are free until all of us are free.” ([15:17])

Key Timestamps

• [03:09] – Opening anecdote: The portrait of Septima Clark and the lesson in confidence
• [06:02] – Confidence as the spark: why it is foundational
• [08:00] – Jamal’s story: creativity in nurturing confidence
• [10:00] – Regina’s story: realizing the cost of extinguishing confidence
• [11:27] – The revolutionary importance of confidence for marginalized people
• [12:04] – The Confidence Code: permission, community, curiosity
• [12:38] – Mother’s car dealership negotiations and the lesson of permission
• [13:39] – Team Lioness: sisterhood as a source of strength
• [14:24] – Learning from failure: the power of curiosity and supportive management
• [15:37] – Vision for a confident, just, and inclusive future

Tone & Language

• Brittany’s style is warm, emotionally resonant, candid, and empowering. She uses vivid storytelling and sincere self-reflection, inviting listeners to recognize both the vulnerability and the strength involved in the pursuit of confidence, especially for those excluded by typical power structures.

Conclusion

In this TED Talk, Brittany Packnett Cunningham makes an impassioned argument that confidence is essential—not optional—for achieving change, both personal and societal. By breaking down how confidence is granted, built, and affirmed via permission, community, and curiosity, she provides both practical advice and galvanizing inspiration for anyone seeking to empower themselves or others. Her storytelling—from classroom lessons to cross-cultural sisterhood—makes a clear case: the world we dream of requires radical, inclusive confidence, and it’s both our right and our responsibility to realize it.