Podcast Summary
TED Talks Daily
Episode: How video games can power up your parenting | Hannah Boquet
Date: September 17, 2025
Speaker: Hannah Boquet
Host: TED (Elise Hu)
Main Theme
This episode explores how video games, particularly esports, can become powerful tools for fostering family connection and communication. Hannah Boquet, an esports competitor and mother, shares personal stories of bonding with her children—and extended family—by stepping into their virtual world instead of pulling them into hers. Through anecdotes, humor, and reflection, Boquet explains how gaming can promote closeness, impart life skills, and create lasting memories across generations.
Key Discussion Points and Insights
1. The Parenting Challenge: Staying Connected with Teens
- Boquet begins by connecting with the audience—most of whom are parents—and humorously notes the well-known communication challenges with teenagers.
"Has the experience been for you the same as it's been for me? And by that, I mean very connective. The communication is always very clear. There's never any conflict. Definitely no sneakiness. Same, same. Okay, great..." (03:40)
- She reflects on the fleeting nature of childhood and the struggle to remain close as her kids grow, highlighting the shift from reading lullabies to battling for any meaningful time together.
2. Deciding to Step into the “Digital Native” World
- Recognizing her children’s deep connection to technology and video games, Boquet decides to meet them where they are—online, rather than insisting they unplug.
- She humorously recalls her past gaming skills:
"Back in the day, I was pretty good at Diddy Kong racing. So, like, how hard can it be?" (05:01)
3. First Foray into Family Gaming: Fortnite
- Boquet recounts her first attempt at playing Fortnite with her sons, aged 10 and 12, who are at their dad’s house, while she plays from her own home.
- She describes her struggle:
"I literally don't know what they're doing because I am right where I landed, spinning in a circle. Don't even know how to open a door or open a treasure chest..." (05:43)
- Her sons come to “heal” her in the game, culminating in much laughter and shared learning. Instead of quitting, their mutual enjoyment deepens their connection.
4. Learning Through Play
- The gaming sessions become more than pastimes; they are new avenues for communication and family bonding.
- Notably, Boquet shifts from learning the game to learning about her children—their problem-solving, teamwork, and personalities.
"We connected through them teaching me a new skill and me being brave enough or silly enough to think I could maybe play along." (07:11)
5. Games Bridge Distances: The Role of Extended Family
- Boquet’s brother Amos, living internationally, connects with his nieces and nephews through video games—something he wouldn’t achieve with phone calls.
"Hopping on Fortnite, playing games together, making memories together... It's a game changer." (08:14)
6. Defining and Demystifying Esports
- Boquet demystifies “esports,” explaining any competitive video game qualifies, from Fortnite to chess.
"Anything can be an esport if it's a competitive digital game... But do not call them electronic sports, because you will lose all of your street cred, especially with your children." (09:44)
- She highlights South Dakota’s recent step in sanctioning esports as a high school activity, opening new opportunities for connection and skill-building.
7. Life Skills & Inclusivity Fostered by Esports
- Esports teach critical life abilities:
- Leadership
- Teamwork
- Communication
- Strategy
- Emotional regulation
- Unlike most other activities, esports are highly inclusive, crossing boundaries of age, background, and ability:
“Anyone can play, compete, grow, and win in esports.” (11:59)
8. Parental Concerns and Overcoming Fear
- Boquet acknowledges parents’ fears concerning online gaming, especially interactions with strangers.
- By joining her kids in these spaces, she gains firsthand understanding and is better equipped to help them navigate safely.
"There's joy in these spaces because this is a shared space and we can have shared experiences here." (13:09)
9. Video Games as an Icebreaker in Blended Families
- Boquet shares an inventive “life hack”—she used Fortnite to facilitate introductions and bonding between her children and her partner’s kids before meeting in person.
"It was pretty awesome, because there was no pressure... We didn't have to talk. If things weren't going so great, we could just dip." (14:20)
10. Reflection: Technology, Play, and Generational Memory
- She draws parallels between current gaming and her own childhood tales:
- Parents warning that TV would “rot your brains,” only to later bring it back for family Nintendo 64 gaming sessions.
- Fond memories of her strict, serious father showing a playful side during video game sessions.
- Her brother Ezra’s memory of their father skipping work to finish a “mission” in Halo together:
“Work can wait. We're saving the world right now.” (16:23)
11. Embracing Connection, Not Perfection
- Boquet emphasizes that despite being busy or unskilled at gaming, she never regrets saying “yes” to playing with her kids.
"What I found through flailing around Fortnite... is that connection is always worth it, even if you don't know how to open the door." (17:30)
- She ends with the bonus benefit:
"My kids legitimately think I'm cool." (17:45)
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
-
On Parenting and Communication:
“There’s never any conflict. Definitely no sneakiness. Same, same. Okay, great...” — Hannah Boquet, (03:40)
-
On Humorous Gaming Failures:
“I literally don't know what they're doing because I am right where I landed, spinning in a circle...” — Hannah Boquet, (05:43)
-
On Sharing Experiences:
“We connected through them teaching me a new skill and me being brave enough or silly enough to think I could maybe play along.” — Hannah Boquet, (07:11)
-
On Long-Distance Family:
“He would not get an hour-long phone call from my kids. But hopping on Fortnite, playing games together, making memories together... It's a game changer.” — Hannah Boquet on Uncle Amos, (08:14)
-
On Skill-Building:
“These kids are not just playing, they're practicing and gaining skills they will use for the rest of their lives.” — Hannah Boquet, (11:05)
-
On Inclusivity:
“I challenge you to think of a more inclusive sport anywhere in the world... Anyone can play, compete, grow, and win in esports.” — Hannah Boquet, (11:59)
-
On Family Memory:
“Work can wait. We're saving the world right now.” — Hannah Boquet quoting her father, (16:23)
-
On the Lasting Value of Connection:
“Connection is always worth it, even if you don't know how to open the door.” — Hannah Boquet, (17:30)
Timestamps of Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment/Theme | |-----------|--------------| | 03:33 | Introduction: Parenting teens and seeking connection | | 05:01 | Deciding to join kids’ world via gaming | | 05:43 | First Fortnite session and initial challenges | | 07:11 | Learning about kids and deepening family bonds | | 08:14 | Long-distance family connection through gaming | | 09:44 | What is esports? Don’t call them electronic sports! | | 11:05 | Life skills learned through esports | | 11:59 | The inclusivity of esports | | 13:09 | Addressing parental fears and building trust | | 14:20 | Video games easing blended family introductions | | 15:15 | Childhood stories: Technology and play unite generations | | 16:23 | Memorable parenting moments: Skipping work for Halo | | 17:30 | Final reflections: Choose connection, not perfection | | 17:45 | Unexpected benefit: “My kids think I'm cool.” |
Conclusion
Hannah Boquet's talk reframes video gaming—often a source of family friction—as a surprising pathway to understanding, bonding, and skill development. By embracing her children’s passion and risking her own “cool factor,” she discovered laughter, memories, and enduring connections. Her journey demonstrates that the heart of parenting lies in meeting kids where they are and saying “yes” to shared experiences, digital or not.