B (4:18)

I want you to imagine yourself on your deathbed, but you're smiling, your soul is exhausted and full. What do you look like? What are you wearing? Who's with you? Where are you? Everything in my life that I'm most proud of I can attribute to conversations that I've had with someone very important to me. Her name is Deathbed Dealey. Let me explain. I have this deep, crystal clear relationship with my future deathbed self. She has deep smile lines from a lifetime spent laughing, leathery skin from spending so much time outside, long gray hair and before you see think I'm crazy for talking to my deathbed self. There's actual research to back up this approach to making big bold decisions. Hal Hirschfeld, the UCLA psychologist and professor, has shown that our brains actually treat our future selves as a completely separate person from our today self. And this can make it really hard to make decisions that benefit our long term. Well Being. And his research also showed that when we can stay connected to our future selves, we often lead more fulfilling lives. So for me, Deathbed Dealey isn't another person. She's me. I'm her right now. And our conversations have led me on a wild path that so far has taken me to a career where I get to help other people talk to their own deathbed selves. And no, I'm not a late night TV psychic. I work in financial planning and wealth management. I know it's not what I was expecting either, but hear me out. My career is about so much more than just managing your money. It's about helping you envision your future self to get to know him or her or them and then be their advocate so that today you can go make big bold decisions. But let's back up. The first time I met Deathbed DEALEY, I was 22 years old and I had this insane opportunity to take all my meager savings and buy a hostel in San Jose, Costa Rica. Now there are about a thousand what ifs and what can go wrong with a decision like this? So with the sellers on the phone, like an actual corded phone, I sat on a bed, closed my eyes and I asked myself, what would my future self think? And then I saw her. Laugh lines, gray hair, Aspen trees out the window. I imagined walking away from the deal and there was this look of deep disappointment on Deathbed Dealie's face. And then I imagined saying yes. She got this wry little smile and this sense of deep, powerful calm energy filled my body. The choice was clear. I was buying a hostel. Now fast forward. A few years ago I got a call from two friends of a great client. To protect their privacy, we'll call them Alex and Avery. Alex and Avery had just experienced the sudden passing of a dear friend just hours after they'd been skiing together. Their friend was 62 years old and this awakened something in them that they had known for quite some time. The typical plan of work until 65, then retire, then finally live was wrong for them. What they wanted was to work until age 55, take a 10 year pre retirement, spending time with the people they love, doing the things that they love. Then they'd go back to the workforce at age 65 in novel low stress jobs. This is my catnip. So we sat down, we put a plan in place that was personalized to them. And what I can tell you is that as they're moving towards this goal, they are experiencing more joy, more spaciousness because they're on A path that's right for their future selves. Now, back in the pandemic, I got a call from one of my favorite people in the whole world. We'll call her Lil. Lil's life had just fallen apart.

A (8:21)

Her words.

B (8:22)

She'd been living in Vermont, teaching art, when suddenly the world shut down and her mother passed away. So she goes out to the west coast to visit some friends. She stops into a little shop that she'd known for years. The shop owner was also struggling pandemic and offered Lil the chance to take over the business. Now, for most people, buying a retail business in the middle of a global shutdown would be a hard no. But Lil said yes instantly. She had no plan, no idea how it would work out, no business experience. But when she got quiet and thought about her future, it was an immediate hell yes. So we got to work. We mapped out the cash flow needs, the Runway, the safety net, the investment plan we'd like into as the business started to succeed. And now, five years later, I can tell you the shop is thriving. From that moment in the pandemic, Lil's life has exploded in abundance in ways that I don't think either of us could have imagined. All because she followed that one clear yes from her future self. Now, I believe the purpose of life is to be able to get to the end and look back and say, damn, I lived that one. And that starts with having better conversations. Go find a financial partner who will meet you where you're at, ask better questions, listen, who will help you get to know your future self and be their advocate. And most importantly, go talk to your deathbed selves. Our deathbed selves are so attuned to our core values that when we really take the time to envision and relate to who we will be in that moment. When the veil between this life and the next gets thin, we act according to what really matters to our soul. And when we make decisions with that framework, we will all have the joy of looking back on our lives, exhausted, smiling, and ready for the next adventure. Thank you.

A (10:27)

Thank you. That was Lauren Dealey at TED Next 2025. If you're curious about TED's curation, find out more@ted.com curation guidelines. And that's it for today. TED Talks Daily is part of the TED Audio Collective. This talk was fact checked by the TED research team and produced and edited by our team, Martha Estefanos, Oliver Friedman, Brian Greene, Lucy Little and Tansika Sangmarnivang. This episode was mixed by Lucy Little. Additional support from Emma Tobner and Daniela Ballaraizo. I'm Elise Hu. I'll be back tomorrow with a fresh idea for your feed. Thanks for listening.

C (11:16)

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Do you ever think about switching insurance companies to see if you could save some cash? Progressive makes it easy to see if you could save when you bundle your home and auto policies. Try it@progressive.com Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states with no fees or minimums on checking accounts. It's no wonder the Capital One bank guy is so passionate about banking with Capital One. If he were here, he wouldn't just tell you about no fees or minimums. He'd also talk about how most Capital One cafes are open seven days a week to assist with your banking needs. Yep, even on weekends it's pretty much all he talks about in a good way. What's in your wallet? Terms apply see capital1.com bank capital1 NA member FDIC

D (12:06)

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