#675: Brown Crown

Summary

Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! #675: Brown Crown

Release Date: May 4, 2026
Summary by Section with Timestamps

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Episode Overview

This episode of Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! delivers classic, uncensored banter between Bryan "Q" Quinn, Walt Flanagan, Get 'Em Steve-Dave, and Giddam. The main throughlines include:

• Ongoing turmoil and drama surrounding their office’s cleanliness
• Reflections on friendship and shifting boundaries
• Philosophical game: Ben Franklin, Walt Flanagan, or Fake?
• The celebration of personal milestones (including a family 59th wedding anniversary and Teddy the dog’s lottery ticket fame)
• Candid discussions about work, success, regret, and the creative process.

The tone is irreverent, honest, and frequently hilarious, with plenty of swings from the profound to the juvenile.

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Weather, Kentucky Derby, and Catwoman’s Tits

[00:06–02:22]

• Opens with a joke about Catwoman’s bust ("I can’t believe how big Catwoman’s tits are." - Walt, 00:06)
• The crew laments the lingering cold weather despite being almost in May. Q’s heading to the Kentucky Derby again.
• Chatter about Kentucky Derby traditions: linen suits, seersucker, Southern gentleman styles, weather mishaps.
• Joey Fatone is missed at events for his energy.
  • "He’s like Muse, if Muse could sing." – Q about Fatone, [02:55]
• Quick roundtable: What did everyone do this week? Q attended Rocky Horror, going all out with purple hair.

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Tales from Rocky Horror and Dressing Up

[03:07–05:06]

• Q recounts attending a Sunday afternoon Rocky Horror, dressing vibrantly for the event but noting the crowd was too reserved.
• Describes his costume: purple beard/hair, tie-dye shirt, pink pants, skull blazer.
• On subways, the costume drew positive attention: "I felt like a very pretty man. Pretty man." – Q, [05:06]

---

The Ongoing Office Saga

[05:15–14:44]

• Walt gives an update on the “office cleanliness” saga — not the TV show, but their own space.
• Listeners complain about office drama, but the gang keeps discussing it anyway.
• Walt confides that demanding a clean office has “irreparably” changed his and Giddam’s relationship:
  • "I don’t think a friend approach can work anymore." – Walt, [06:39]
• Giddam reveals anxiety/panic attacks over people cleaning his stuff, likening the experience to the show Hoarders.
  • “It’s classic Hoarders… the person gets very upset... panic attacks... anxiety attacks.” – Q, [08:16]
• Other friendships have also suffered after an unnamed friend tried to help with cleaning; Giddam has ghosted this friend.
• Despite the drama, the office is finally clean: "Whoever…relationships be damned. The fucking goal was a clean office and it's here now." – Walt, [09:41]
• Amusing asides about whose friendship will survive, who really cares, and if cost of cleanliness was worth it.
• An aside about possible future “celebrity caliber guests”, with Q vowing to book someone who’s been in a major film or WWE.

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Office Improvements & Wrestling Antics

[15:05–16:15]

• Office now has furniture, things are looking up.
• Joking about booking wrestler Danhausen and Brooke Shields to do backyard mall wrestling.
• Q explained the term “bump” (taking a fall in wrestling), reminisces about stunts.
• Jokes about 1980s cocaine being the best, but now being too dangerous due to fentanyl.
  • "I think I’ve only done it three or four times in my life... but now I wouldn’t touch it." – Q, [16:52]

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59th Wedding Anniversary: Pam & Edgar

[18:09–31:44]

• Bryan calls his parents live to celebrate their 59th wedding anniversary.
• Hilarity as Edgar initially doesn’t realize who’s calling, and Pam’s chatting off-mic.
• Edgar’s advice: "Don’t stop breathing. Don’t strangle your mate. Which is tempting at times." – Edgar, [19:59]
• Pam’s secret: "You ignore him when he gets mad... and you don’t bring things up later." – Pam, [23:52]
• Sweet moment: Pam recalls old diary entry “I met the man I’m going to marry.”
• Banter about engagement rings vs. sofas, and what anniversary gifts are appropriate.

---

Walt’s Dog Teddy & the Lottery Ticket

[32:26–37:42]

• Walt recounts taking his dog Teddy (who won a spot on a NJ Lottery ticket) to a Hoboken press conference. Chaos ensues as the family can’t find parking, sparking spousal frustration.
• "If there’s a person on the planet right now who doesn’t care, it’s this cop." – Walt, [34:49]
• Teddy is now available on scratch-offs starting May 4. Lots of proud jokes and camaraderie over the milestone.

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Vince McMahon, Wrestling, and “Brown Crown”

[37:44–39:52]

• They discuss the latest Vince McMahon sexual harassment allegations, referencing the bizarre “brown crown” rumor involving defecation.
  • "He goes into the room to shower up, and he’s like: you gotta keep this crown on. You know, this brown crown." – Q, [38:25]
• Q doesn’t follow the wrestling controversies close enough to care; rest of crew agrees.

---

Game Segment: Franklin, Flanagan, or Fake?

[44:02–78:31]

A running philosophical quiz crafted by Tom: is the quote from Ben Franklin, Walt Flanagan, or made-up?

• Covers topics: Wealth, Friendship, Time, Knowledge, Anger, Work, Pride, Health, Speech, Foolishness, Secrets, and Success.
• Walt's quotes are crass and modern; Franklin's often classic maxims; fakes are impressively believable.
• Sample unforgettable quote (Walt): "Money can get the ugliest dick sucked." [45:53]
• Various bouts of deep/dumb philosophical musings, e.g.:
  • “Ignorance can kick knowledge’s ass.” – Walt, [60:04]
  • “A body neglected, accrues debts the doctor must collect later.” – Tom, [73:38]
  • "Well done is better than well said." – Franklin, [82:45]

Standout Game Moments

• Walt jokes about prehistoric sex lives: “You can’t have your head buried in a snatch when you got to look out for dinosaurs.” [49:03]
• Philosophizing on regret, time travel, and killing Hitler as a baby: "If you’re gonna time travel, you’re almost expected to kill an evil baby." – Walt, [55:02]
• Joke about prehistoric oral sex: "Wasn’t enough time to get all fancy... gotta keep your eyes up for dinosaurs." – Walt, [49:03]

Reflections Inspired by the Game

• Extended musing about how anger can inspire creativity, recounting TSD merch and bits born of anger.
• Discussion on how everyone—no matter what—will be replaced and forgotten at work except in rare circumstances:
  • “The cemeteries are filled with indispensable men.” – Q, [68:38]

---

Closing Conversations: Success, Regret, and Creative Productivity

[78:31–104:35]

• Deep debate: Is success only validated externally?
  • Walt: “The harsh truth is, only someone else can measure your success.” [82:45]
  • Q takes the opposite view: “I think success is what you set out to do and how you feel about it when you got it or didn’t get it.” [83:06]
• They explore:
  • The pain of not being recognized by Marvel
  • Whether leveraging the TSD fanbase to land a Marvel gig is “merit” or not
  • Stephen King and the mystery of super-prolific creators (“Probably coke,” jokes Walt)
• Q admits he’s always been naturally a “fiddler” (procrastinator/distracted), needing downtime, and describes content creation for Impractical Jokers as always “pulling teeth.”
  • “Everything’s pulling teeth for me. Everything.” – Q, [100:43]
• Nostalgia and regret over time misspent fiddling rather than grinding, especially in youth.
• Walt bemoans, “Fiddlers fill TSD Town… we are infested with grasshoppers.” [102:22]

---

Notable Quotes – Quick Reference

• “You can’t have your head buried in a snatch when you got to look out for dinosaurs.” – Walt, [00:06; 49:03]
• "Don’t stop breathing. Don’t strangle your mate. Which is tempting at times." – Edgar, [19:59]
• “Money can get the ugliest dick sucked.” – Walt, [45:53]
• “Ignorance can kick knowledge’s ass.” – Walt, [60:08]
• "The cemeteries are filled with indispensable men." – Q, [68:38]
• "The harsh truth is, only someone else can measure your success." – Walt, [82:45]
• “[On Teddy’s lottery win]: If there’s a person on the planet right now who doesn’t care, it’s this cop.” – Walt, [34:49]
• “Everything’s pulling teeth for me. Everything.” – Q, [100:43]

---

FINAL SCORES (Game)

• Q and Bryan tie after a narrow come-from-behind surge.

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Key Takeaways

• TSD’s office is finally clean, but at the cost of some friendships and emotional turbulence.
• Friendship dynamics are ever-changing; sometimes boundaries must be set when personal chaos spills over.
• Success (and recognition) is a complicated mix of internal fulfillment and external validation.
• Procrastination, regret over wasted time, and how creators process these feelings is a recurring theme.
• Whether discussing work, sex, or philosophy, no topic is too taboo (or too silly) for TSD’s mics.
• Nostalgia, self-deprecation, and mutual support thread through both the jokes and the wisdom.

---

This episode epitomizes the unique blend of heartfelt, profane, and philosophical that makes Tell 'Em Steve-Dave! a cult classic.

Transcript

[A]

But you can't have your head buried in a snatch, though, when you got to look out for dinosaurs. And. You know, I can't believe how big Catwoman's tits are.

[B]

I can fly, walt. I can fly.

[A]

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

[B]

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of. Tell him, Steve Dave. Everybody's here. Walt's here, Q's here.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Giddam's here.

[D]

How you stanking?

[B]

I'm here. What's up, boys?

[C]

Much?

[B]

It's cold out.

[C]

Dreary.

[B]

We were just talking about Q's favorite topic, the weather and how we're almost in May and It's still fucking 50 degrees out there. What's going on is what we're wondering. Not that I think you have the answer, Walt, but it'll get there.

[A]

It's coming.

[C]

Sure. Everything's coming.

[B]

I said to somebody, I couldn't remember who. I can't remember who, but I was just like, it's just a matter matter of time before it's hot enough that we're bitching about that. Like, why is it so hot out here?

[A]

Then we'll hear, oh, my God, when's this heat spell gonna break?

[C]

Give me 90 degrees.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I got a pool.

[B]

Oh, that's true.

[C]

Let's get in that pool. I wake up, I open the front door. It's like some folks, someone punches me in the face.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

With a fistful of ice.

[B]

Yeah. I stepped outside today. I was like, all right, I guess I'll wear a flannel and some jeans and shit.

[C]

I'm going down south tomorrow. And I was like, oh, it'll be warm down South. And same, same, same.

[A]

What's down South?

[C]

I'm going to Kentucky. The Kentucky Derby.

[A]

Oh, this is how many years in a row now for you?

[C]

2.

[A]

2.

[C]

Would it be the second time I'm

[B]

going see your sucker?

[C]

I wore seersucker last year. I got a white linen suit like last year. Yeah. Like Kentucky, KFC style.

[B]

Right. I was gonna say like a Southern gentleman.

[C]

Right.

[D]

Well, the colonel is.

[C]

Yes, yes. So I'm excited about that. But it'll be cold and rainy. And it was cold and rainy last year, too.

[B]

Was it?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Jesus.

[C]

Start holding Fatone responsible for this shit.

[B]

Yeah. Really? Some is guest Qs wasn't the same without Fatone. It was great. It was great. It was still excellent in its own way. But, like, there's something about, like, the space monkey shows. I'm like, God damn, I wish Fatone was.

[C]

Yes. Yeah. Fatone's missed when he's not there, but it's all right. I'll come next year.

[B]

He brings. He brings a lot of energy.

[C]

He brings. He does. And, you know, and everybody loves the guy, so it's always. It's always good. But it's all right. It's okay.

[B]

He's like. He's like Muse, if Muse could sing. Like, he brings that energy to.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's great. Fatone's the best.

[B]

Yeah. So I didn't do anything this week. What about you?

[C]

I saw Rocky Horror.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, I fucking forgot to watch it.

[C]

Yeah, it was good. Oh, did you forget to watch it?

[B]

I forgot to watch it.

[C]

It was fun. I don't know. The Sunday afternoon crowd was the way to go.

[B]

Too reserved.

[C]

There was a little bit more reserved audience than I was hoping for. But the show was excellent, you know, and everybody on stage did a great job. I had purple. I had purple beard, purple hair. I was excited.

[B]

Oh, you died.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Okay, let's take a picture.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

You want to see this outfit?

[D]

Purple or magenta hair?

[C]

Purple.

[A]

Okay, good, good.

[C]

Good call, though. It was, you know, I didn't go crazy. You know, a man of my age. You don't want to.

[B]

You don't want to because you start looking like a weirdo, like, when you're out on the streets.

[C]

Yeah. Y. I don't know if I have any photos.

[A]

And the purple was for what?

[C]

Well, you just want to dress up, like, a little bit. You know, the show. You know, people wear, like, fishnets of the show and like, little wacky costumes and stuff. Like, you're one of the aliens on the show type thing, and you are,

[A]

like, not willing to put on the fishnet. You'd rather. So purple isn't. I mean, it's very purple.

[C]

It's very purple. Purple beard. And I was wearing a tie, dye shirt, pink pants and a blazer. A black blazer with skulls all over it. Let me tell you this.

[A]

A character.

[C]

No, it's just like one of the background characters. It's not based on anybody specific. It's just like how they. How they dress.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Even to the eyebrows?

[C]

Even to the eyebrows. Yeah.

[A]

I caught you on. On your phone, bro. What are you doing?

[B]

What's going on? I put it right back down. I put it right back down.

[C]

What's going on, bro?

[B]

Yeah, I was looking. I was actually looking.

[A]

Ready to call everybody out. Who's on your phone?

[B]

Oh, my God. You've been holding on to this for a week.

[C]

Look at him. Yeah, I did the hair too. So it was all bad. But it was fun. It was like fun walking around Manhattan like that because people were like, oh shit, that looks so cool. Like, you know, it's fun.

[A]

You thought even more attention brought on yourself walking around Manhattan in your.

[C]

Well, I went to dinner and stuff, so what am I gonna do? I can't. Can't put the purple in before I go.

[A]

Right.

[C]

So it was, it was nice. It was fun. I felt like a very pretty man. Pretty man. Yeah.

[B]

I guess the big news is that the Office, for those who have been following the saga of the Office. It's unbelievable.

[A]

Not the TV show with not the Office.

[B]

This is more fun to follow. Is it?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

For me it is.

[A]

I don't think listeners feel that way, no.

[B]

Oh really?

[C]

No.

[B]

You don't like to hear about it?

[A]

No. There was a massive backlash to any office talk. So even if, I mean even. I don't know if they want to hear any updates.

[B]

The long list of that people don't want to hear about. It's like, what the. What do you want to hear about? Do you ever see those threads? What people actually do want to hear about? It's like, oh, we don't like this.

[A]

What'd you think so far? It's still, it's not May 9th yet, but it's still. I told you it would take you some time.

[C]

Yeah. Looking good. Looking good. I mean I went in the back room, you know, and it's.

[A]

Well, it hasn't been touched yet.

[C]

It hasn't been touched yet.

[A]

It's May 9, not May 9 yet.

[C]

Yeah, he's doing great. I walked in, the first thing I said was like this place looks great. Like it looks unbelievable. Big difference. How did this happen?

[A]

I think it will probably come at a high cost though, this request for a clean office though.

[C]

What do you mean?

[A]

I think it will what's irrevocably reparably change a few relationships. I think who's. I think mine and Giddams will probably never be quite be the same. I think I have to take a more

[B]

boss heavy handed approach.

[A]

I don't know if that's heavy handed, but I don't know if a friend approach can work anymore.

[C]

Yeah, I agree.

[A]

So I think that will forever be altered from. From going forward now. Both just don't think it's possible to

[C]

be his friend anymore.

[A]

I don't think it works. Yeah, I don't think it didn't work. I don't know if this will work either. But we'll see how long it stays.

[C]

Well, it's maintenance at this point. It's all he's got to do is maintain it.

[A]

And I think there are some other people who felt the. What's it called? The. Some strays.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. Oh, I don't know. I mean, I'm not. I don't want to. Again, I don't. People want to hear about this stuff, though, right?

[C]

Yeah, but I want to hear about it.

[B]

Yeah. Isn't that what the show's about? We want to talk about. Yeah, we don't. The show, it has three people in it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Not 3, 000 people that all get to weigh in. I mean, the main. Tell them. Tell them, Steve Dave show. It should be up to us not fucking everybody else on Reddit or fucking Facebook.

[A]

No, there was some. There was a friend who took it upon himself to try to help, and I don't think Gidem appreciated it and has now.

[B]

Oh, no, he's.

[A]

Now he's. Now he's ghosted him.

[C]

Gidem is ghosted. One of a helper.

[A]

A friend.

[C]

What happened? Why did you. What made you so angry?

[D]

Wasn't anger. It was.

[A]

Yeah, it was. It was just. He's just. It's not. It's. He's upset by it.

[C]

You got upset? What were you upset by?

[D]

I kind of had, like a little bit of a panic attack, and I had to. I just had to get away from

[B]

a clean room, from people touching his shit. I bet it's very classic, like, don't take this the wrong way. Get him. But. But like, when you watch the show Hoarders.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When they go to clean up the place. When they go to clean up the place, the person gets very upset. They like. Like get them. They have panic attacks, they have anxiety attacks. They're like, no, no, I need that. They'll, like, take stuff out of the dumpster and put it back. It's like, it's never very. It's never easy when you're dealing with somebody who likes.

[C]

Oh, come on. Here we go. Dude. Dude.

[A]

You and that phone. Oh, dude.

[C]

Jesus, man.

[B]

Leaving a home from now on. Leaving a home.

[A]

Can you. Oh, come on. We're recording a show here, for God's sake.

[C]

Who didn't you go after?

[B]

What's that?

[C]

Who did you go after?

[B]

With a phone?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, last. Last week when Walt was looking down and he was. He was using the fidget scanners and I thought he was looking at his phone the whole time.

[C]

Make sure my phone's outside.

[B]

I want to catch any backlash, but, yeah, I. I think that that's probably what's going on. It's like, it's that same mindset.

[C]

The hoarders is like, it's their home and their possessions. This is a. An office.

[B]

Right. But get him has taken it on as his home, sort of, you know.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

And we allowed it. We allowed him to sleep here and hang out and. Yeah, that other stuff. So.

[A]

But it's clean now, so it doesn't look straight.

[B]

Yeah, it looks great.

[A]

The. The target or the end game was getting the clean.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Whoever. Whatever happens to friendships, relationships are be damned. Because the fucking goal was a clean office and it's here now.

[C]

Well, like, it's not a good friendship request to be like, hey, for us, it can't be a condition of friendship. Be like, we will be friends, but only if I could make your world into a shithole and you endure it. Like, that's not a friendly request. So to clean it up and for somebody to get upset.

[A]

I don't think it has. In. Your friendship with him isn't going to be.

[C]

Oh, my friendship. Yeah. I'm just talking about the two people

[A]

that you're talking about.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I don't think he's going to hold it against you.

[C]

No, I'm not worried about it.

[A]

You know, you're the one that put it into motion at the end of the day. At the end of the day.

[C]

I mean,

[A]

the wheels were put in motion by you.

[C]

Yeah. This is true.

[B]

Q's fault that everybody's mad. We're talking about how clean the office is.

[A]

I mean, some might say, you know,

[C]

that's all right, but others will be

[A]

like, no, that it had to be done.

[C]

Had to be done.

[A]

Had to be done. And it is done. And you know, though. Yeah. At the. The costs were acceptable.

[C]

Acceptable.

[A]

I didn't know.

[C]

Certainly acceptable to me, I don't think.

[A]

You're not going to lose a wicked sleep.

[B]

No.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

But I didn't know the cost would be that going in.

[C]

But would it change anything? Would it change your path?

[A]

Only in so much as when this person contacted me to let me know that they were going to. To help.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I was at home. Like, it was in. It was late at night. And they were like, hey. They were. They were like, hey, I'm here. I was going to do this. And I was like. I almost said, don't do what I said because it probably won't. You know, I almost said, don't. And I said, yeah, go for It. I don't give a fuck.

[C]

So somebody was in our office.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Without us. So it's.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So how'd they get in?

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Fair enough, I guess.

[C]

Fair enough. Well, it looks good. I've already already worked out the date that John will be coming in for the zero episode with her and her husband.

[A]

Okay. But that wasn't the. That wasn't the big fish, right.

[C]

No, we didn't fucking ninth yet.

[A]

We didn't destroy relationships.

[C]

Sure. Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

No, no.

[C]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

It was of a.

[B]

She doesn't. Celebrity Caliber Guest.

[C]

I'm on it. I'm on it. Jody Rose will be his show.

[A]

Somebody who's appeared in a major motion picture film or has been a member of the wwe.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

The criteria.

[B]

I'm on it.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, I'm on it. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

And Joe DeRosa fills. None of those. Right.

[C]

Joe, I'm sure has been.

[B]

Well, he was on tv.

[C]

Yeah. But it's. I know what you mean. Yeah, yeah, I'm. I'm on it. I'll. I'll be. I'll be texting some people.

[D]

What's the name of the Mickey Mouse

[C]

movie on the ninth out? Oh, Screamboat. Yeah. Not a major.

[A]

So because of that person who now who is on the outside looking.

[C]

Yeah. Why are they nameless? What's to be gained by.

[A]

I think it's my place to get into it. But they are going to feel very like it was not a sacrifice worth making if it's not a fucking big time caliber star.

[C]

I mean these people still have to say yes. All I can do is ask. I can't get them in my gun by gunboats, but I'm comfortable asking.

[A]

You can't tell them the. That we moved heaven and earth.

[C]

No, I will. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I'm on it. I will get. I will get on May 10, I will text someone of that. That caliber and start setting up a time to be here. Yeah, it'll all be worth it.

[A]

All right.

[C]

And the office smell night when I walked in, it smelled pleasant.

[A]

Really?

[C]

Yeah. It smelled different.

[A]

What did it smell like is more

[C]

what it didn't smell like than what

[A]

it did smell like. I think that is a figment of your imagination. You saw something clean and you'd automatically assume that it also smelled clean.

[C]

Definitely vacuumed that carpet and stuff like that. They ran a vacuum over that. You get all that. That shit up, all that dirt, all that hair, all that human skin.

[A]

My wife ran a Carpet Yesterday when you weren't here. What?

[C]

Those are my hair flakes.

[A]

I don't dander now.

[D]

About two weeks ago, I ordered. I went through and order brand new filters and everything for that vacuum. They were still Johnson era filters.

[C]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

There's a while ago.

[C]

Yeah. So. No, it's a carpet. Smells nicer like you walked in, it smelled nicer. I was impressed. I was impressed. Whoever did it did a great job.

[A]

We all did it. Get him helped.

[C]

Oh, then what's the problem?

[A]

I don't know if there was. I told you there was no problem. There was just that it didn't come without some costs.

[C]

Right. But if get him was part of

[A]

it, I'm okay with those costs.

[C]

Yeah. All right.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Well, great.

[B]

But I mentioned that before.

[C]

Very clear on that. Okay, cool.

[A]

Everything's fine.

[C]

Well, good job.

[A]

Clean office looks great.

[C]

And this furniture being assembled in there.

[A]

Yes. I mean things are moving at a brisk pace.

[C]

It's nice. It's good to see.

[B]

You're gonna have to bring in Danhausen and Brook Shields on the same.

[D]

Yeah, we get them wrestle here

[C]

like that.

[D]

Backyard wrestling where they were wrestling at mini malls. Danhausen throws Brooke Shields off the roof into a.

[C]

It would be something full of light bulbs. Full of neon light bulbs.

[B]

What's that called? When they fall on tax. And what's the name for it? It's a.

[C]

What do you mean?

[B]

It's like when they fall on tax. There's a certain name for it that. Like the stunt.

[C]

Oh, I don't know really.

[B]

You do know because you told me. Because you did it right.

[C]

I didn't do tax.

[B]

You did something.

[C]

I went through a table. I took a table shot.

[B]

Bumps, bumps. That was it.

[C]

Yeah. I'm taking a bump.

[A]

Doing a bump was when you did

[B]

something like coke or something.

[C]

Yeah, I remember those days.

[A]

Only once.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Cocaine didn't affect me.

[B]

Sure it was coke. Maybe it was like talcum powder or something. They might have fucking burned.

[A]

The guy who did it was fucking off a ledge of a fucking.

[B]

Oh, really high rise.

[A]

He was up on the top. East Point.

[B]

I could fly, Walt. I can fly.

[D]

Better be careful. His baby powder might have asbestos in it. He might be eligible for a class action lawsuit.

[A]

Come on. 86. Coke was the best coke. You know that.

[C]

I mean, coke was the Coke in

[B]

the 80s for sure.

[C]

Coke was phenomenal until like, I don't know, 10 years ago.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You can't do it anymore or. I mean, you talk about something. I think I've only done it like three or four times in my life.

[B]

Yeah, it's.

[C]

It was never a big user of it, but now I wouldn't touch it.

[B]

Right. Yeah.

[C]

It's too dangerous. What a stupid way to die.

[B]

And you get too old, like, you know.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Like, I don't. I don't think, like, doing Coke in your 50s, nearly 60s is a good idea.

[C]

And we want some off for old times sake, but you guys, you got to make sure it's pure. But I wouldn't do it again. I mean, I haven't.

[B]

But even, like, even if you have a guy who you trust implicitly, it's like, who is he trusting?

[C]

Oh, I run into these guys all the time because they're like, you want to bump? And I'm like, no, I'm good. I'm good. And they're like, no, it's. I go, the Fentanyl, you know, all of a sudden they're like, no, it's a brick I have from, like a lab. Blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I don't want to touch your brick of cocaine. I appreciate the offer.

[B]

I do think, though, like, if somebody. If somebody was like the royal taster, you know, like, somebody did it and then you gave it like an hour and they didn't die. Yeah, that overdose.

[C]

But isn't it that, like, the fentanyl could be in one thing? You can't even do it by that because it might not be mixed evenly in the right.

[B]

Well, if. I guess if you, like, chop it up and you.

[C]

Oh, just really do it.

[B]

Yeah. If you really mix it up or maybe don't know. Anybody take that as, like, advice.

[C]

My advice would be not to do.

[B]

Don't do it.

[C]

Yeah. If you could do it, you know, once, have sex on it, but make it better.

[B]

You gotta.

[C]

Yeah. That's the time to do it. But, yeah, other than that, you can't do it anymore.

[B]

I'm picking up this phone, Walt, for a reason, a good reason. Call him. Pam and Edgar. All right, it's there. Let's see if they pick up, though. 59th wedding anniversary today.

[A]

What is 59? Does Edgar know?

[B]

I don't think he knows. I don't think he even knows it's at his anniversary.

[C]

Just coughing.

[B]

Nearly in a coffin. This is. They have fucking. This is their landline. They have, like, eight phones around what's a relatively small house. Hey. Hello?

[E]

Yep.

[B]

Hey, it's me. Yeah, you're on the podcast.

[C]

Hello?

[B]

Q is here. Walt's here. And get him. Is here. Hello?

[A]

Howdy. Congratulations.

[E]

Who are you talking to?

[B]

This is going to be me in a year or two. I'm talking to you.

[E]

Okay. I thought you were talking to somebody else. Same time.

[B]

No, no, no. I'm saying that we're doing the podcast right now. Q is here.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Do you hear Q? We're doing. We're doing the podcast right now.

[E]

Oh, you're doing a podcast.

[B]

Yeah, and Q is here.

[C]

That was a little mocking.

[B]

Yeah, I know, right? Yeah. Walt is here. And Gidem is here.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

Yeah, Walt says congratulations.

[E]

Thank you, gang.

[B]

But we're wondering, like, what is the Secret to your success? 59. Tell Pam to be quiet.

[C]

There's a secret right there.

[B]

I mean, Jesus Christ. Just prattling on in the background. Is she talking to you?

[E]

Mom's talking to Tracy.

[B]

Oh. Oh, God.

[E]

Secret to success.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

Stop breathing.

[B]

Don't stop breathing.

[A]

Good.

[E]

Don't stop breathing. Don't. Don't strangle your mate. Which is tempting at times.

[B]

You know, still to this day,

[E]

I haven't strangled her yet.

[B]

But every once in a while, you still get those old feelings back. You get that old itch to.

[E]

I don't have the strength in my old age, I guess I should say.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

You know, she saved me.

[E]

I become more decrepit as time goes on.

[B]

Now, is she safe? Or would you call in reinforcements, like Darren? Like, get him to do it? That's. Do you know. Do you know, like. You know how, like, every. Every anniversary there, it's like wood or paper or metal or silver or gold? Do you know what the 59th is? Can you look that up?

[E]

Concrete. Because your head is turned to total block by then.

[A]

Oh, I thought you meant to put

[B]

her in a concrete block or, like, a custom family? Oh, wait a second. Did you get Mom a custom family tree, a maplewood plaque, or an item with white roses or lilies?

[E]

If I could have my choice of the three, I'd get her the white roses and lilies.

[B]

Well, you did have a choice. You just didn't choose. Yeah, that. Yeah. Oh, yeah. It goes back to the flower show where you guys met,

[D]

giving them ideas.

[B]

What's that?

[E]

In fact, I got her flowers today for anniversary.

[B]

Oh, did you?

[C]

Nice.

[B]

What'd she get you anything?

[E]

She got a card a long time ago, she said, but you can't find it.

[B]

Wow, 59 years. That's what you got? You should go, choker.

[E]

So now do I believe her that she really got the card, can't find it, or is she just trying not to be embarrassed Because I got her a card of flowers.

[B]

Right. She's like, oh, shit. I didn't expect that. We'll never know unless she finds a card.

[E]

I mean, that's probably the truth.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The route to year 60 would be just believer, though.

[B]

Is the route to. Oh, Walt says the route to year 60 is just a believer, and then everybody's happy, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

How much does he care anyway? Does he care if he ever sees it?

[B]

Do you care if he got the card? If you got the card, would it be meaningful? Or would you be like, whatever?

[E]

Every day is meaningful at my age.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Wow.

[E]

Like I say, every day is a good day. Some are better than others.

[B]

Right? All right, well, happy anniversary.

[E]

Thank you. Off the phone if you want to put her on.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we'll talk to her for a minute. We'll ask her what her secret to success is.

[E]

Pam, hurry up. Well, her hurrying up is not.

[B]

Yeah, I'll have to. I'll have to trim where her hurrying up is.

[E]

You don't have time for that. They're on the podcast and they want you to put in your two cents.

[C]

Does he look at her and still see the gal he took to the flower show?

[B]

I don't know.

[E]

Gentlemen, thank you for the opportunity.

[B]

Yep.

[E]

I don't know how. How I appreciate stardom at this moment.

[B]

You're gonna be famous, man. You're gonna be famous. Not going to be able to go outside.

[F]

Hello.

[B]

Hey.

[A]

Hi.

[B]

So we called to wish Walt is here and Q is here and Gidham is here.

[C]

Happy anniversary.

[A]

Happy anniversary.

[D]

Anniversary.

[F]

Oh, thank you.

[B]

Yeah. So we're talking about it being 59 years. And what's the secret to success for 59 years? How do you keep it going? Because I plan on being married for 60 years. You know, I'm going to be 113 when it comes around.

[F]

That's all right, because I'm going to be 100, and so you should be older than me.

[B]

All right. Wait, how did that. How could that happen? That's what happens when you deal with people in their 80s. So what's your seat? So what's your secret to success? We need to know very quickly.

[D]

Don't strangle Edgar.

[F]

You ignore him when he gets mad.

[B]

Ignore him when he gets mad, huh?

[F]

Yep.

[B]

That's a lot of ignoring back in the day.

[F]

Yes, it was a lot of ignoring, but that's how you do it. And you don't bring things up later.

[B]

Just let them die. Just true.

[F]

Walt, let them die.

[B]

Walt's been married a long time. So I look to Walt. What was that last tidbit was if.

[A]

Don't bring things up.

[B]

Yeah. Like, if you have an argument, just don't bring it up again.

[A]

I think that's good. That's sound.

[B]

If the argument resolves itself, then there's no reason to be like, oh, and another thing, by the way.

[A]

Yeah. But if you feel you've taken the L on it, it's hard to be.

[B]

Oh, I know.

[A]

Yeah. It's hard to like. Yeah. If you got the W. You know, if you're. Yeah. Then you're like, yeah, we don't need to ever bring this up again.

[C]

Case closed.

[F]

There's one other thing. I don't have it in me to stay mad. I always forget I'm mad.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Well, that's good.

[F]

I have some kind of chip in me that makes me forget.

[B]

Really? I got a chip. It's on my shoulder. And I remember slights, real or imagined, from decades ago. Half the people I'm mad at, I have no right to be mad at them.

[C]

The other half aren't even alive anymore.

[B]

They're gone.

[F]

Yeah. I just forget when I'm mad, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

Just start talking about, like, in my insides. I'm saying, I'm never going to talk to him again.

[B]

Yeah.

[F]

And about five minutes later, I'm talking to him.

[B]

Now, Edgar says you got him a card and then lost it. Any truth to that, or are you just bullshitting?

[F]

I. No, I really can't find it.

[B]

When did you buy it?

[F]

It's downstairs someplace.

[B]

When did you buy it? Did you buy months ago or did you buy recently?

[F]

Oh, no, I bought it. Bought it a while ago. It was such a nice card. I just bought it and figured I'd give it to him for the anniversary and.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

And that's my problem. I do that. I buy them too early and then.

[B]

That'd be awesome if that was your only problem. So that would be awesome if that was your only problem, buying cards too early. What a world it would be.

[F]

I have a whole bunch of cards down there that I always bought to worry.

[A]

Don't worry. No, no, no.

[C]

So, well, all right, so just grab one of those other cards. Cross it out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Cross out 60 right in 59.

[F]

Some of them are like, happy Halloween.

[C]

Yeah, that's fine.

[B]

Wow.

[F]

You know.

[B]

All right, now, we looked it up, and 59th anniversary is a Maplewood plaque, a custom family tree, or a white rose or lily. What did you get for Edgar? Any of those things?

[F]

No.

[B]

You didn't even look it up. Did you?

[F]

I know what to get them.

[B]

Well, now. Now, it's this year. Next year will be different. 60th wedding anniversary is different. This year it's a custom family tree, a maple wood plaque, or items with white roses and lilies. It's one of those three things you

[C]

got to figure out how many people get to 60 the dime. Next year's diamonds, next year's diamond.

[F]

Pam.

[B]

Oh, did you hear that? Q just told you. Next year is diamonds.

[C]

It's the diamond jubilee. You get diamonds. It's all about diamonds.

[F]

Maybe I'll finally get my engagement ring.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

You never got an engagement ring. Oh, this isn't. I never knew this.

[A]

Edgar can get his two front teeth.

[F]

I wanted to. It was either get a ring or get a sofa. And we needed a sofa.

[B]

Can't sit on a ring.

[F]

Got a sofa.

[C]

That's a great gal.

[B]

What's that? That's a great gal.

[C]

That's a great gal. It's like, now, let's get a sofa instead of a ring. That's a teammate.

[A]

Right?

[C]

That's how.

[A]

That's why it's lasted 59 years. Because the gal that chose the ring over the sofa probably isn't making it to year 59.

[C]

No way. No way.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Too transactional.

[B]

So it's Mary Beth's fault she took the ring instead of the sofa. That's why we're not gonna make it to six.

[A]

Have a burrow. You could have gave her one.

[B]

Oh, you're right.

[A]

Before burrow. Fucking threatened.

[B]

That's what Legal action. Well, all right. Well, are you doing anything for the. Are you going out or anything? Going out? To dinner.

[F]

We're waiting to see what the weather is going to be. Either we're going out or we're ordering in. If we're ordering in, I'm going to see if he wants to watch when the Crawdads Sing.

[B]

I don't know what that is.

[F]

It's a movie. I read the book, and it was an excellent book.

[B]

All right, well, we're gonna let you go. We just wanted to say congratulations and all that stuff and look out for Edgar. Do you remember the flower show? Do you like. When you think back, do you remember the flower show that you and Edgar attended together?

[F]

We went to a flower show?

[B]

Yeah, it was in your diary.

[F]

Oh, oh, oh. Way back then. That was even before we got married.

[B]

Yeah, it was way back in the day. I couldn't help it.

[F]

I snuck in and read my diary.

[B]

Well, you left it out, so it's kind of your fault. What was the first sentence that I don't remember. I read it like 10 years ago.

[F]

Well, I remember it.

[B]

I was like, I hope I never have kids.

[F]

I met the man I'm going to marry.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

You called it. Well, I know. How? Because if you notice, like, they've been married 59 years and I'm 58 and a half.

[C]

So.

[A]

This would have been the era of flower power, right?

[F]

We just started you a little too soon.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. This would have been the age of flower power, flower children, all that. All that hippie stuff. Stuff that my parents completely glossed over.

[A]

They weren't hippies.

[B]

They weren't hippies. How come they didn't. Edgar was. Edgar went to a military academy. He was all straight laced. He was like, square.

[A]

Doesn't sound like it.

[B]

He's out there

[A]

square.

[B]

We should have. I should have been at Woodstock, to tell you the truth. Like, there's no reason I shouldn't have been at Woodstock.

[A]

That's a story conceived at Woodstock. Just call the flower show Woodstock. Who cares at this point? It doesn't matter.

[B]

What'd you say? You wanted to go?

[F]

Yeah, I did want to go.

[B]

Lots of people brought their kids. We could have.

[A]

Oh, you couldn't go to Woodstock because of little Bri?

[F]

I was working as a nurse and he was working. So we didn't have time to go.

[B]

So it wasn't my fault then?

[F]

No.

[B]

All right, all right.

[C]

Damn.

[B]

I would have liked to have done that in the reason they look back.

[A]

Would you guys have done the brown acid?

[F]

Yeah, Walt, I could have said you went to this Woodstock. What are you talking about?

[B]

Now, Walt has a good question. Would you have done the brown acid? You know what the brown acid is?

[F]

No, I don't know what that is.

[A]

The big.

[B]

That was the bad stuff. Yeah, that was the big thing at Woodstock. They kept announcing it over this loudspeakers. Like, do not do the brown acid. I guess was tainted or. Or somehow polluted.

[A]

Oh, and one thing I know from Noah Johnson is once you tell him not to do something, they're going to do it.

[B]

Bager would have been whacked out on brown acid.

[A]

Don't you hear that? I can't do the brown acid. That.

[B]

All right, well, we're really gonna let you go now. But have a good time, whatever you do, tonight, and congratulations.

[A]

Congrats.

[C]

Bye. Congrats.

[F]

You guys are very important to me, all of you.

[C]

Thank you.

[F]

We'll have to get together sometime real soon.

[B]

Sometime.

[F]

Brian, have a Party.

[B]

All right, all right. Party coming up this summer.

[F]

Okay, that sounds great.

[B]

All right, we'll see you later, all of you.

[C]

Bye. Bye. Pam,

[D]

break out the grill again. See what you left from last year.

[B]

I know, right? Hockey puck of a burger. All right.

[C]

Lovely woman.

[B]

Pam and Edgar on their anniversary. Now you've been married, what, 30 now, Walt?

[A]

94, so I don't know, 32?

[B]

Yeah, 32 one. It's coming out.

[A]

I found that though, that those comments by Pam about ignoring. Sometimes you've got to do that. Like yesterday was a great example. Yesterday we had to take Teddy up to his press conference in Hoboken for the lottery ticket, where all 18 dogs who were chosen to be on the lottery ticket met at this park in Hoboken where I don't know if they could have chosen a more congested, hard to find a parking spot town in all of New Jersey than Hoboken. I don't know why the fuck. I mean, you could find $100 bill on the ground easier than a parking spot in Hoboken, I feel. So that was a kind of what caused a little bit of frustration as we're driving around and.

[B]

And you were not looking to forward to this in the first place?

[A]

No, I didn't want to go because I didn't say. They got an email, had the business attire. Could you believe this bullshit? For fucking.

[B]

For the pictures.

[A]

I guess they want the. Not for the dogs, but for the masters to bring the business attire and well, he was wearing a bow tie, so that would be business. But they had to get up at 7 o' clock in the morning for this. I'm so tired that, you know, I asked Deb to drive, so she drove up to Hoboken. I would drive back and we get up there and we can't find the parking garage that we're supposed to go to because of construction. And there's a cop in the road. And this is about it. Like, she never does this, but I was just like, oh my God.

[B]

Rolls down the window, fuck you.

[A]

She falls down the window and starts to tell the cop, hi, yeah, we're here because our dog won the prize. We're here for this big ceremony about our dog being on a lottery ticket. And I'm like, he doesn't care. I said, he doesn't care. Stop. And she goes. And he goes, well, what are you trying to get to? And it's like. And she says, this street. Oh, there's a lot of construction. It's gonna be hard too. She says again, but but our dog won the. The lottery contest. And I'm like, if I had had the. Those kernels of wisdom from Pam and Edgar, I. I probably could have handled it better. And I was like, will you stop telling the cop that Teddy is the

[B]

prize winner of irrelevant. Did you roll down.

[D]

Did you roll down the back window so that Teddy can be seen?

[A]

Yeah, he could see Teddy because Teddy's in the back looking at the cop, too. And yeah, I was just like, there. If there's a. Any person on the face of the planet right now that doesn't care, it's this. It's this cop. Oh, yeah, there it is. Is Teddy up there? Oh, there he is.

[C]

Yeah. Look at that.

[D]

He's not on the official, like, signs for the lottery machines, but this is the ticket.

[C]

Well, they messed up.

[A]

Yeah. So if you're listening to this, it's available now, New Jersey on May 4, which is Monday.

[B]

Oh, my God, Finally I can tell my wife, go on May 4, pick

[A]

up a Teddy lottery ticket. Maybe, if you're lucky.

[B]

How much are they a piece?

[A]

You know, five bucks.

[B]

Five bucks apiece.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right, I'll be. But we gotta. We gotta look at them. We gotta explain to the person, I know that dog. You can't give me Trapper.

[A]

And you'll see that. You'll see that glazed look that I saw in that cop's face as you tell the guy working the counter for

[B]

my friends don't want to contest to

[C]

make sure I get the right one. I'm gonna be like, I don't want Trapper. I don't want cash. I don't want Ginger. They're very cute, but I need the Teddy one.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if it's. It depends. I guess if you go to someplace where you could pick your ticket, you could do that. But if you do a machine, you know, it's just gonna be random.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, but.

[C]

Ah, nice. Teddy's. Teddy's got an actual smile on his face.

[B]

He does. He's got. He's smiling. His tongue isn't hanging out.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. A lot of these dogs photogenic. Is he the only one without the tongue hanging out? No. There's some other ones.

[A]

No, there was. There was a couple.

[B]

Not many, though.

[A]

They treated this event like it was, like, a big deal.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was your business? Did you, like, have to wear a tie and shit?

[A]

Where are my. My tucket shirt?

[B]

Oh, nice.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Not sure who farted.

[A]

And I wore some cargo pants. And I did wear sneakers, though. I was like, you got it. I wasn't running out buying a pair of shoes for this.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And sure enough, man, people were dressed away. Schmuck comes in with track pants, and I'm like, God damn it.

[C]

I could have been that schmuck. Oh, look at him.

[A]

It's funny that it has his name and where he lives, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

On the.

[B]

Yeah. They're, like, doxing him. You know, somebody might try to kidnap him. I know people kidnap dogs like this.

[D]

He's chipped.

[B]

Is he chipped? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

Yep.

[A]

But that's it. Thank you to all the ants who made that possible by going on and flooding.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Basically circumventing a fair voting system.

[C]

Oh, this is wonderful.

[B]

I love it.

[C]

Yeah. Good boy, Teddy.

[A]

He's a good boy.

[C]

Yeah, he is.

[B]

Nice. Let's see. I'm gonna go right down my here. Vince McMahon. I've been learning more and more about Vince McMahon. Is he totally, like, removed from all wrestling stuff at this point?

[C]

He is. He's. He's coming to some bad pr. He got sued by this woman that claims that he harassed her, trafficked her. I'm not quite sure what the right.

[B]

I think was harassment. A friend of mine, Vinnie Paulino, does a podcast called the Creep Off. It's all about true crime stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so he was covering him, and he was talking about the. Or he was showing, like, all the court documents and stuff.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Dude, it's wild. Yeah, it's wild.

[C]

Is it, like, I caught, like, someone's,

[B]

you know, like, shitting on her head, and then, like, he goes into the room to shower up, and he's like, you stay here. Like, you got to keep this crown on, you know, this brown crown.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. Like, I. I don't know. You know, I didn't. I would never really get into stuff like that.

[B]

I was just like, Yeah. I don't know how. How immersed you were because, like, you're all into wrestling and stuff and.

[C]

Nah, that's what. Like, stuff. I'm just like, I. I don't. You know, it's always the thing.

[A]

Root for the. Your favorite wrestler when you. When guy running the show is pooping crowns.

[C]

I was. Okay. I was able to work around that. It wasn't that big of a deal for me, but. But. But he sold the company he doesn't even own.

[A]

Oh, he doesn't have no part in it.

[C]

Yeah, he's not. He's not part of it. I'm sure he owns a lot of stock in It. But he doesn't run the show anymore. He sold it off.

[B]

He crashed recently, didn't he?

[C]

Honestly, I have not heard anything about him in a long time. I heard once he. Once the. That case came out, you know, at first I heard some of the details and. Sounds horrific. And then you, you know, you just pick up from people. They're like, I don't know. All right, well, these are the opinions out there. You know, Unless I'm gonna do a deep dive into it and start researching both sides to create a formed opinion, I'm just gonna chalk this up to shit that's got nothing to do with.

[B]

Right. Yeah. Like, what are you gonna say? Like, if you even, like, give a cursory glance at, like, the. The court papers, you'd be like, I'm not on his side.

[C]

Well, it. If you told me that Vince McMahon was kind of a behind the scenes, I'd be like, sure, yeah, I get it. Totally. If you told me that, you know, somebody was lied to get money from him, I'd be like, yeah, I could see that too. So that's what I'm saying. If I'm not going to get in there and form a fucking informed opinion.

[B]

Right. Yeah. There's something also about, like, he wanted. He wanted to hang out while Brock Lesnar, he's a. He's a wrestler.

[C]

Brock Lesnar. Yeah. Brock Lesnar was recently featured quite heavily. So I assume that whatever was involving Brock got cleared up.

[B]

Yeah, I think it didn't happen. Yeah, actually. I think she said it actually didn't happen.

[C]

Oh, there you go. Is that Teddy?

[B]

There's Teddy.

[D]

What were Teddy's fun facts?

[B]

Hey, look at Walt with his untucket. Looking good.

[C]

You look pretty happy wall. You look proud. Happy. Oh, yeah, yeah. Look at that tie.

[B]

Is that a matching poop bag thing on his. On his.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well coordinated.

[A]

Yeah. I mean, that's how you get to be Jerjee's top dog. Not half assing it.

[B]

I guess you're right. Yeah. We just got Normany old poop bag didn.

[D]

So what were Teddy's fun facts? I see there's fun facts listed on the screen.

[A]

I don't remember. I can't remember. I think that. That he was an emotional support dog or something like that for his owner. And he was a city dog, you

[D]

know, who approaches everything with intensity.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that was true. He does do that. Everything he does is intense. Including cuddling.

[B]

Yeah. Even getting pet. He's like, right up, right up on you.

[C]

Well, that's. Congratulations. Look at them go. And, you know, I mentioned this off air, but I did want to say I went to go order one of Walt's lithographs from that company.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Sold out immediately. Couldn't even get one.

[B]

I noticed that. Yeah. Yeah, I noticed I was sold out right away.

[C]

That's great. You think. You think they'll be looking to do more with you now?

[A]

They asked if. If I was interested to do more. Yeah, I'm just trying to find some time to devote to it at this point. I got to find a window. It took me a while to do that piece.

[B]

But wait a second. This is the only one you've done with them, right? This is the rich one. Okay, so Q's really behind on it then. Like, they were sold out day one.

[C]

I thought that's when I looked.

[B]

Oh, I thought you said you just looked recently.

[C]

How long has it been out?

[A]

Oh, a couple weeks.

[C]

Oh, almost a month. I looked after you told me, and then.

[A]

Okay, yeah, I think they saw that the next day.

[C]

Yeah, I'm way late anyway. Yeah, it definitely wasn't the first day.

[A]

I'll see what I can do. Miss, Maybe we have one. I know we have one floating around, so maybe we'll finding.

[C]

So I want to frame it. I wanted to put in my. My office.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I could have. My one note was those Catwoman's tits could have been a little bit more exposed. What are you going to do?

[A]

I want

[D]

to DC's Earth.

[A]

I want. I asked for more cleavage area, you know.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But I was a vetoed on that.

[C]

Dc, dc, dc.

[A]

When are you gonna do period? Dc?

[B]

Yeah. Really? PC Comics.

[A]

You change your name to PC Comics,

[B]

it's like, what's the extra millimeter of cleavage? Right.

[A]

I guess it's the difference between, you know, having to hear someone be like, you know, I can't believe how big Catwoman's tits are.

[C]

I'm sure it's somebody that's got a job to justify. A bullshit job to justify.

[B]

I'm sure half the people that bought the lips lithograph would have fought twice if her tits were a little bigger.

[C]

It's justification.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

That's all. If they don't give a note on it, why do you have them?

[B]

Right. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know. Hey, there he is. Drawing it. Oh, signing it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sign it. That is a beautiful work of art, Wall.

[A]

Thank you. I got a game.

[B]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

Yeah. Tom came up with a good one.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Unless you have some.

[B]

No, nothing that can't. Like, these are evergreen they can last forever.

[A]

All right, well, I gotta break my phone out, though. Is that all right?

[B]

Wow, you really took offense to that.

[A]

I don't think I even have it.

[C]

Oh, no, Teddy, it's all right.

[A]

Hopefully it's in my notes on my iPad. Let's see. Okay, here we go. All right. No, got it.

[D]

Pens or paper?

[A]

No, I don't think so. So the game is called Franklin, Flanagan, or fake Ben Franklin is known as giving some of the most sage advice in all of history, while Flanagan is known as giving some of the most sage advice in TSD town. Can you tell which is which one is Ben Franklin, one is Flanagan, and one is fake. Can you spot the difference?

[C]

Oh, this is fun.

[B]

Yeah, this is good.

[A]

So, Hugh, I thought you could read them.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

And then you. You and Bry figure out which one's the Ben Franklin, which one's mine. Some of them are going to be pretty obvious, I think.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

No less profound, but a little bit more obvious.

[C]

Some modern ones that you can't.

[B]

Like when gidem is mentioned by name, we know it's you.

[A]

Some might be a little bit harder to decipher. Which one's Ben and which one's me.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

But I think I'll give Ben a run for his money. He doesn't look like he could run very fast. From what I remember what he looked like.

[B]

You look like an old woman

[A]

prancing around with his fucking high tighty whities and. Wait a minute. And a kite.

[C]

All right, all right.

[A]

So number one is wealth.

[C]

All right? Wealth, wealth. Number one, Brian, is beware of little expenses. A small leak will sink a great ship. Quote to money earned slowly is the only kind that stays to greet you in old age. And then three, money can get the ugliest dick sucked. So. So you. You definitely said one of these three.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay. All right.

[A]

I said this at the. I think probably Thanksgiving of 2018. You know, around the table. You weren'. But my family heard this one.

[B]

Oh, really?

[A]

I broke this out on Thanksgiving.

[C]

Okay, so then I'm gonna say it's not Ugliest dicks.

[B]

Yeah, that's the fake one. Ben didn't say that.

[A]

No, I'm only teasing. I really didn't say it to my family.

[B]

Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah, I was only kidding around.

[B]

Oh, and you thought it was the dick one.

[A]

So which one is Ben? Off.

[C]

Right off the bat, Ben is one.

[B]

Okay, I feel I would agree with that. Yeah.

[A]

Which one was number one again? Beware of.

[C]

Yeah, we'll sink a great ship. Okay, That's Ben Franklin. I think. I think money can get the ugliest dick sucked. Is Walt Flanagan and two, while wise is. Yeah, that's what I think. What do you think?

[B]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[C]

All right.

[B]

We know a guy growing up in high school named Ben Franklin. Ben Franklin?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

What a weird thing to name your kid, like.

[A]

Yeah, Benny.

[B]

They called him Benny. Yeah, Benny Franklin.

[A]

He was in.

[B]

He.

[A]

He won't go down in maybe world history. He's being remembered as fondly as Benjamin Franklin. But, you know, there's two guys at this table who probably have more.

[B]

Way more memories and knowledge about Benny Franklin than Ben Franklin. Yeah, absolutely.

[A]

And you are both correct.

[C]

All right. No less wise. Money can get the ugliest dick sucked. Is wise, wise, True today, True a thousand years ago. True thousand years from now.

[A]

I think that even, you know, you can say in. Even in caveman times.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The guy with the most wealth, or whatever that may be, may not have

[C]

been like Peltz, the saber toothed tiger.

[A]

He was getting it shine, too.

[C]

Yeah, for sure.

[B]

Everybody else is jealous he had five.

[A]

Maybe he had more fires burning.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know. You know, his cave was warmer.

[C]

Oh, and then all the women just came. They lined up outside like it was a club in Manhattan.

[B]

Take his pick.

[A]

Do you think that when you think about it, though, when you think of sexual practices back then, do you think that was something that was like, something that. That a guy wanted done?

[C]

I don't think so. I doubt. Caveman times.

[A]

No. I would think that they weren't interested in. They didn't have enough time to figure out.

[C]

It's a harder sell, too, than a fucking cock that's never once been washed.

[B]

Yeah, it's pretty dirty and smelly.

[C]

Shaved up or anything. It's a hard sell.

[B]

Or do you think it, like, you know, I'll preface this by saying it was the times. Yeah, but maybe he didn't even ask.

[A]

So you're saying that the dudes didn't reciprocate either, then?

[C]

No. No way. Lucky they didn't kill him right after

[A]

that.

[C]

Was it this man at his freestyle give a. Yeah.

[A]

Not even the freakiest of freak cavemen.

[C]

I don't know. Who knows when kinks entered the equation. That's interesting.

[A]

They were too busy worried about the saber tooth tiger and the fucking, you know, entering the lair. They didn't have time to get all fancy and get all into it.

[C]

I bet you anal entered the fray before. Before. Yeah, right.

[A]

But you can't have your head buried in A snatch, though, when you got to look out for dinosaurs and.

[C]

Yeah, you got to keep your eyes up.

[B]

Dinosaurs.

[A]

You can't forget all to it. Lose yourself. And then all of a sudden, yo, you got a T. Rex standing over you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because you were so busy trying to.

[C]

Ah. What were those cave woman pusses like?

[B]

I don't know. Harry. Harry.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Talk about a pelt.

[C]

Rough. Yeah, rough.

[A]

Think choco at a snatch.

[C]

I often do. All right, number two quotes on friendship. Quote number one, the realization that most friends are opportunists will have you appreciating your dog more than ever. Number two, be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. Three, a true friend speaks the truth, even when silence would be easier.

[B]

Wow, those are tough. Those are tougher than the first ones.

[A]

Yeah, the dick one I knew was going to fucking was going to definitely go like. I don't think Ben Franklin even. I don't even think dicks were even talked. I don't even think anybody referred to their. Their manhood as a dick. Probably back then.

[B]

Yeah. I wonder what.

[C]

It was a Johnson, wasn't it?

[A]

That's always been a Johnson.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The first words uttered by a fucking that came in.

[B]

Yeah. Sucked by Johnson. I mean, really, like, as if, like, it's not enough for a Johnson to be a euphemism for a cock, but also they give me the name, the initials bj. Yeah, they're really fucking trying to, like,

[C]

pile it on or like subconsciously when you say your name to women, like you're putting it into their head, like,

[B]

I don't think so. No, that hasn't proven.

[C]

The realization that most friends are opportunists will have you appreciating your dog more than ever. Number two, be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing. Three, a true friend speaks truth when silence would be easier. This is tough.

[B]

If I feel like. Okay, if I'm to guess, I think the third one is Walt.

[A]

Okay, what was the third one?

[C]

Speaks truth when silence would be easier.

[B]

The second one that was be slow

[C]

in choosing a friend.

[B]

Slow in choosing. Yeah, I think that's Ben Franklin. The first one I think is fake. I think that is a red herring that Tom threw out.

[C]

Okay, I'm going to do a flip ski of that. I'm going to do. One is Walt. Two is Franklin. Three is Tom.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay, so Ben Franklin.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

[C]

We both got that right.

[A]

Okay. Are we keeping score over there? No, I thought that's what you want to grab A pen or.

[D]

I went to the bathroom.

[A]

Oh, okay. Well, here. Here's the. Right on the back of that. Oh, you don't have red on you.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

Okay, so Ben Franklin was. Be slow in choosing a friend, slower in changing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Mine.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

The horrible realization that most friendships are opportune.

[B]

Damn good, Q. All right.

[A]

Have you appreciating your dog? More than ever.

[C]

Nice. Yeah, I never heard Ben Franklin talk about dogs. I heard him talk about eagles. I heard him talk about turkeys. Never heard him talking about dogs.

[B]

No.

[C]

But I hear Walt talk about dogs fairly frequently.

[B]

Quite a bit. Yeah.

[C]

Which is why I understand why you thought it was a red herring.

[A]

Right now I'm not sure if Tom. What, the fake ones? If Tom made up all the fake ones. Yeah, he fucking is wasting his time being on a podcast, because this is shit that needs to be a philosopher. Yeah, he should be collecting in a book. These fake ones are pretty damn good. Unless he just grabbed.

[C]

I'm assuming he grabbed quotes from other people.

[D]

You know, he also runs a MRI clinic.

[A]

Yeah, okay, but I'm even wasting this time doing that too, though, because he. He's definitely today's greatest philosopher. Philosophic philosopher.

[B]

Philosopher.

[D]

Philosophical.

[B]

Philosophical mind.

[D]

All right, so up until this point, what were the scores?

[C]

It's two to. It's. I have two.

[B]

Has one. Q has two. I have one.

[C]

He has one.

[A]

Okay, what about the first round with.

[C]

That was.

[A]

Okay, so we're going on to what time? Time quotes on time.

[C]

All right, number one. Brian.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Lost time is never found again. Number two, time, like a good guest, rarely announces when it is leaving. And number three, time travel would allow the correction of countless haunting mistakes, as well as a hell of a lot of dead babies. Okay, so lost time is never found again. Time, like a good guest, rarely announces when it is leaving. And time travel leads to a lot of dead babies.

[B]

Well, I think three is wall.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

One and two Ben Franklin are. I mean, they're both like. Yeah, they're both. Yeah, it could be either one old time guess. Yeah, I'm going to Ben Franklin then. One fake.

[C]

Okay, interesting. I was going to go one Ben Franklin, two fake. Three, Walt.

[B]

Okay, so we flipped it again.

[A]

Franklin. Lost time is never found again.

[C]

All right.

[A]

And yeah, I did the time travel one.

[C]

Okay, so time travel allow the correction of countless haunting mistakes as well as a hell of a lot of dead babies.

[A]

Right? I mean, that's all we ever hear about, is like, if you're gonna time travel, you almost. It's like you're expected to kill an evil baby.

[C]

Yeah, right. What are you doing with your time machine if you don't kill an evil baby?

[A]

Absolutely. I think you're, you're, you are absolutely not using it to its fullest if you're not going to at least try to murder a few infants before you come back to present time.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Well, who's number two? Let's say time travel does happen.

[C]

Hitler's got to go first.

[B]

Well, Hitler's already done. Somebody time traveled there and got Hitler already, so you're number two. Nobody ever thinks that they're number two. Really.

[C]

You might have to go to like history. That doesn't really bother Americans. Like World War II, we're all about. But if you get like a, like a South American dictator or someone like that that's killed someone that Americans wouldn't even know the name Joseph Stalin, any

[A]

of these Bin Laden, would he be.

[C]

Do you get the sense that somebody would have done something eventually like Bin Laden? Like somebody over there was going to cause that trouble. That's like a whack a mole over there. You kill one guy, another guy with the same name pops up and starts doing like. I don't know.

[A]

I don't know on that scale though.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know on that grand a scale as 9, 11. So yeah, I would think. I also think though, let's say yo time travel is created. I think about time travel. If it was created and it was doable and you could like book an excursion.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In time. I think that like the Internet would probably be. Would. Let's say it's real expensive. Most likely it would be to do a book a trip. I think the Internet would fucking have and rightfully so have a bone to pick that only rich patriarchal men are allowed to go back and change history now because they have the means and the fun. So you better kill a baby while you're back there.

[C]

Else, you know, well, you can make

[A]

at least if you're gonna go back, at least fucking do something for the good of human.

[D]

You don't think Oprah could time travel?

[A]

She could. Yeah, but who could? I'm sorry but most of the time. Yeah, but I think most of the excursions. I don't know if women would want to go back. I think they're wise enough not to go back and try to change time. I think dudes are more likely to be like, I know I could fix shit. Let me go back in time and I'll fix it. But I may probably make it Way worse. But I think they'll be able to fix it. Women are wiser.

[C]

You say women sucking up. Is that the headline here?

[A]

No, I'm saying that women would let

[C]

Hitler off the hook. Well, well, well.

[A]

No, no, no. Don't put words in my mouth. I said that women would know that going back in time to try to fix mistakes would be an unwise move

[B]

even in your own life, Shay.

[A]

Yeah. I think that even in their own lives, they would prefer to live with their mistakes rather than try to have this get out of jail or this big eraser that is going to wipe out from existence even their biggest mistakes. I think that they're more willing to live with them than men are.

[C]

Yeah,

[B]

well, you gotta figure, like, let's say no.

[A]

You don't agree with that, or are you pondering? I don't know.

[C]

I'm pondering.

[A]

You're pondering. I think. I think it's pretty obvious.

[C]

I don't know. I think. I don't know.

[A]

Dudes automatically think that they could fix something.

[B]

Yeah, I agree with that.

[C]

You know?

[A]

Yeah. Without even hesitation, they're like, I'll book that time, Trip. Oh, I. I got caught cheating on my wife. I'm gonna go book that time.

[C]

Oh, well, like that.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, I got caught. Let me go back in time and

[C]

never have the affair or be more

[B]

careful about having the affair.

[C]

How does she find out?

[A]

Okay, as a baby. That's what a dude will do.

[C]

That's funny.

[D]

All right, so what were our scores from that round?

[A]

Cube only gets points on that. And Brian, I think Q gets points.

[C]

Oh, I thought we were getting points for the whole thing. We're getting all three, right?

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

So Q.

[A]

Only Q gets points.

[B]

So Q has two. I got one.

[C]

I have three.

[B]

We got three. I got three so far.

[C]

Quotes on knowledge. An investment in knowledge pays the best interest. Number two, Ignorance can kick knowledge's ass. Three, he who learns only from books builds a house with one wall. Hmm.

[B]

I'm gonna go ahead and say number two is Walt.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Ignorance can kick knowledge's ass.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

It does sound like something you'd say. Also very wise.

[B]

I'm gonna say number one is Ben, and then number three is the fake one.

[C]

Okay. I am gonna agree with you on that.

[A]

Full agreement?

[C]

Full agreement. One is Benjamin Franklin. Two is ignorance can kick knowledge's ass is Walt. And three is Tom.

[A]

Ben Franklin. Investment in knowledge pays the best interest.

[C]

Nice.

[A]

And you were correct. Ignorance can kick knowledge's ass. And I fully believe that.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I Had to sit down last night when Tom presented this game to me. It's like, I gotta come up with quotes now that are on par with fucking Benjamin Franklin.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think I hit one here.

[C]

I think you did.

[A]

I think it's so fucking true that. Like ignorance.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, we don't care about knowledge anymore.

[C]

Well, it's that. What's that say? It's like a room rumor. Rumor could spread around the world. World before. Before truth even gets out of bed.

[A]

I was gonna use that, but I figured you guys heard that one before.

[C]

Yeah. Well, yours is better. Ignition kick. Knowledge is that.

[A]

I mean, think about it. Think about in. Around. And this is fucking around the globe. This is just that in America.

[C]

Yeah. People want the easiest path. Yeah.

[A]

And. And will beat the shit out of the truth.

[C]

Well, it's like me with Vince McMahon. I'm like, I don't know what went on.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm just gonna watch wrestling.

[A]

You know how hard it was not to drop that during that conversation?

[C]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I knew we're playing this game, so I had to keep quiet.

[D]

So point for each.

[A]

Point for each.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm wondering, are the. Are any of these T shirts, like. Are any of these, like, where I could have industry where I'm, like, making big money on. Where it's on mugs?

[C]

Yeah, I think so.

[A]

T shirts.

[D]

Don't worry, be happy.

[C]

Yeah, I think.

[A]

All right, what's next?

[C]

Okay. One, A hot temper cools nothing but your own good judgment. Two, if anger fueled creativity, there wouldn't be enough museums on the planet to house all its masterpieces. And number three, anger is never without reason, but seldom with a good one. So hot temper cool is nothing but your own good judgment. Anger fuels creativity. There wouldn't be enough museums on the planet. And anger is never without a reason, but seldom a good one.

[B]

I'm going, Ben, Walt fake.

[A]

Ben Walt fake. Okay.

[C]

Yeah, that was where I was going, too. Yeah. Ben Walt fake. Okay.

[A]

Correct across the board.

[C]

All right.

[B]

Busting out quotes.

[A]

Have you ever used anger and pointed it to become creative?

[C]

You know, I've certainly had a lot of creative revenge schemes over the years, so. Yeah, I would say. I would say so.

[A]

Oh, but you're. So you schemes, though, to. Well, it's to hurt somebody that. Your anger. Well, you were angry.

[D]

Sitting on a grave.

[C]

Sure. Sitting on the grave. That plan is still important.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know if that's. You know, is that that creative taking it.

[C]

That's a.

[A]

That's on a cr. On a grave. That May not be the kind of creativity I was talking about.

[B]

No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I mean.

[C]

Well, then. No, I have to withdraw my.

[A]

Because I. I can look back in TSD history and how I was thinking about it. How many things were. Were made out of. I was angry at. At someone years ago. Well, I mean, that made me so mad.

[C]

The super bowl, right off the bat, where you had everybody sending min pictures. Not so Super Bowl.

[A]

That was the first one.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There was. There was other ones, like the. Remember the ant jersey? It was green and black and white.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Totally created. Because I was angry at a. At a comptroller.

[C]

I won't.

[A]

That will. Which will remain nameless. Is that the right comptroller who made a comment to me that I was just like.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That I was like, all right. I funneled my anger towards creating a. A logo for the ant.

[C]

That's pretty good.

[A]

Yeah, I've done it a couple times. Elephants in a room.

[C]

Yeah. Elephants was all about anger.

[A]

It was all about anger. I tried to make sure.

[C]

I tried anger or pettiness.

[A]

It's a fine line. It's a fine line.

[C]

Write that down. It's a fine line between anger and pettiness.

[A]

Is this the most quotable TSD ever?

[D]

So you were angry at me and wanted me to stick my head up a fake odin's ass?

[A]

No, no, not at all. But the whole creative process was fueled because I didn't want to sit and simmer. So I was like, let me just take it and point it in a different direction.

[B]

I wish I could do that.

[A]

Yeah, it's hard to do. I can't always do it.

[B]

I'm destructive, not creative.

[C]

What were you simmering about with elephants?

[A]

Probably the same person.

[D]

Different.

[A]

Same person, different day.

[C]

There it is.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

And what you were told that those. What was it that sent you into anger?

[A]

Just a comment about my lack of foresight about something I think that I should have known better about something that was benef. Even though it was beneficial to the company, I should have known that. Should plan it better. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna plant something, and it's only going to be for nice. That's what you get then.

[C]

That's a classic, that jersey.

[B]

It's a great jersey. And a elephants in the room is great.

[C]

Yeah. Anger might be your.

[B]

Your muse every once in a while.

[A]

That's good, too.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Anger is my music.

[D]

How's that spelled?

[A]

Well, if I want to make all the money on it. Yeah. M.U.

[B]

s. See?

[A]

I don't have to pay the Other guy, you know, any cent

[C]

those guys are fucking. They've. They've ramped up their. Their merch is everywhere now. Huh? Kevin got back into the swing of, like, they're opening weed shops, doing all sorts of stuff.

[B]

Yeah, Pretty.

[C]

Pretty. Pretty amazing stuff over there. All right. Quotes on work. Diligence is the mother.

[A]

Pay attention over there.

[C]

Wipe the tears out of your eyes. Diligence is the mother of good luck. 2. The man who rises early meets opportunity before it dresses.

[B]

That's definitely not Walt.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because you don't rise early?

[A]

No, but it could be early.

[C]

I just read it. I feel like there's something else going on. Once again, I feel you and I are stuck in some mechanism that we're not aware of.

[B]

It's not really a game anymore.

[C]

It's not a game anymore for some

[B]

people, but not for us.

[C]

Yeah. Cause the third quote, there's a reason you and I have gotten every one of Walt's quotes correct so far. And I don't know what it is yet, because this is the third quote. Is it Walt or Ben Franklin? You could pour every bit of your body and soul into a job for two thirds of your life, only to find you'll be replaced and forgotten in less than a month. No.

[B]

So this is a personal.

[C]

This seems like hangers once again in the dragon seat.

[A]

But I'm using it. Creativity.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

I'm kind of using you in a creative way rather than a destructive way.

[C]

Right. Okay. All right.

[A]

Getting it out in a different way.

[B]

This game has become who's Ben and who's fake?

[C]

So what do you think, Brian? One or two is Benjamin, and three, obviously, is Walt.

[B]

Oh, this is work. Okay. Diligence is the mother of good luck. The mother. I'm gonna say, well, three is Walt. I'm gonna say two is Ben, and then one is. Is fake.

[C]

All right, that's where I was going to fake Ben. Walt.

[A]

Okay. Ben Franklin was diligent. The mother of good luck Franklin was.

[D]

Was it early to bed, early to rise, I think, or.

[C]

Well, I figured he gets in multiple things, but yeah.

[A]

Do you not agree with my quote, though? I think more people than not find. When they find that out, It's. It's a harsh truth, but it is a truth. And it almost has to be that way. I feel like the world will carry on and forget you.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Make no bones about it. You will be forgotten and replaced.

[B]

I mean, eventually. Sure. Like after you die and it's been a while. But like your quote, there really is saying, like, you're not waiting until you die. It's like you're a month later and you're already, like, far from people's memories.

[A]

You're almost dead.

[B]

Right.

[A]

It is a form of death.

[D]

I would say you can still be missed. And you probably are. Missed by whom?

[A]

By whom?

[D]

Other people.

[A]

I don't know. I think it's the rare person that everybody gets replaced. Everybody. There's not a person on the planet that won't be replaced.

[C]

The cemeteries are filled with indispensable men. Yeah.

[A]

Did you check you?

[C]

No. Somebody. That's. That's a famous quote. Yeah. The cemeteries are filled with indispensable men.

[A]

Oh, God. Is there anything more harsh than that?

[C]

I find it freeing. You don't find that freeing?

[A]

No, I feel. I find it sad. I find it. I think I find it, though. It has to be that way or for the world to carry on. But, boy, that's tough. Boy, that's a tough pill to swallow. You could put everything into something and boom, it happened.

[B]

I mean, it's like you hear about, like, guys in the 60s and the 70s, like, businessmen who, like, they. They work for the company forever, and at the end they get like, some little, like, watch or something. Yeah. And then that's it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like they poured, like, 40 years of their life into it, you know?

[C]

Yeah. But that's even better. Getting the goal, whoever this. This quote about, only to find you'll be replaced if you got a month. Doesn't sound like that person got a gold watch.

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[C]

And I think the gold watch.

[B]

Definitely not wearing it if they did.

[C]

Yeah. I feel like the gold watch goes a long way towards, like, making you feel appreciated. Yeah, I do.

[A]

You know, I think the gold watch is just a token. A meaningless token.

[C]

That's better than a boot in the ass.

[A]

I don't know. No, I don't know. I feel it's not.

[B]

Don't insult me.

[A]

It has no real.

[C]

So it doesn't matter whether you get fired, replaced, and forgotten on the bad circumstances, or if you do 35 years at a job and get a nice gold watch and a party at the end. They're both the same.

[A]

Yeah. I think that, like. I think maybe you need to, like, if you're going out. Yeah, maybe. Like, I read this online. There was a lady who won the lottery and she. On her boss's desk.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, maybe you're. She's not going to be forgotten. They will talk about her long after she's Dead.

[C]

They sure will.

[B]

Yeah, right.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

That is a lady.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, I don't know she's a lady, but she's. She's a person who left a mark. Yeah, that will.

[C]

A skid mark that will not soon

[A]

be forgotten, Much like your plant on the grave.

[C]

Well, nobody will know about that.

[B]

Only the. Only the. The guy who takes care of the cemeteries. Yeah. And I'll come in here, dog in here. Wait a second.

[C]

It'll be a fun day when I get to come in here and be like, guys, there it is.

[A]

There's a story. It wasn't.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah. I wondered if it was some sort of AI. Oh, it is.

[B]

Oh, it says false. Oh, God damn it.

[C]

Wait. And it also said she won $3 million. I'm sorry, you are not on your boss's desk after winning only $3 million.

[A]

Really?

[C]

You're going to need that job. $3 million taking taxes right away. Half fucking taxes. If you live in New York on the Montami, they're probably taking 75 fucking percent,

[A]

so you better clean that up quick before the boss gets.

[C]

Yeah, I love where her mind is at, but I don't. 3 million isn't as much as people think it is. There's a great line in succession. Did you watch Succession, the HBO show? Yeah. There's a great line where I think Greg has $5 million, and Tom is like, $5 million is the worst amount of money. He goes, it's just enough to not give a shit about working anymore, but not enough to live for the rest of your life. And you're like, oh, man, that's pretty good line.

[D]

So no score on that one.

[C]

No score on that one.

[F]

All right.

[C]

Pride. Pride. Breakfasted with plenty, dined with poverty, and supped with infamy. Okay, I'm gonna repeat that again. Pride. Breakfast with plenty, dined with poverty and supped with infamy. I don't quite get my head around that one.

[A]

Yeah, that's tough one, right?

[C]

Yeah. Pride is more often than not found in the same zip code as narcissism. And Pride builds a ladder no one else is willing to climb. Wow. Okay, these are. These are. I don't understand all these quotes, except for number two. I'm gonna. And it has the word zip code in it, so I'm going to apply that to wall flat.

[A]

Come on. Ben Franklin invented the Dewey Decimal System and zip codes.

[C]

Yeah, right.

[D]

I think Dewey developed the Dewey Decimal.

[B]

It's like one is so like.

[C]

It's.

[B]

I can't understand it. So I Feel like it's Ben Franklin.

[C]

I kind of feel the same way. Right. Like that's some fucking old era shit that we don't understand. So we're going to both do 1Ben 2. 1DeWalt 3. Tom's false.

[A]

Correct across the board. I do feel there's a thin line between pride.

[C]

Oh, sure.

[A]

Like, if you better. You better be careful because if you get too prideful, then you just sound like a narcissist.

[C]

Pride. Go with before the fall, bro.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's dangerous stuff.

[A]

Okay. Health.

[C]

Okay. Early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise.

[B]

All right, get him.

[A]

Thought that was Bugs Bunny.

[C]

2. A body neglected, accrues debts the doctor must collect later. Very wise. And then number three, surely a man's health is measured. If he still awakens each morning with a piss boner.

[B]

That's definitely Ben.

[C]

Yeah, I'm saying one is Ben. Two's fake threes.

[E]

Walt.

[B]

Yeah. I'm gonna go ahead and agree with you.

[A]

Correct across the board.

[F]

Wow.

[C]

All right.

[A]

If you're. If you're still getting piss boners.

[C]

Yeah. I had one this morning. I was very happy.

[A]

Cancel that doctor's appointment. You're all good.

[C]

I was walking down, I got out of bed, I was walking towards the bathroom down the hall, and I looked down and lo and behold, who's looking back at me?

[A]

I didn't even have an apple yesterday.

[C]

What's going on here? I was like, what's going on, buddy? We're doing this. It's like, let's do it. Stand on your head, dig a fist. Nice. That's not every morning, you know.

[A]

No, that's what I say. It's weird that we both had one this morning.

[C]

You had one too?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's why I wrote tennis. They're up communicating potting today. We both realized. Is that what did it subconsciously? Maybe because I was struggling for the health one. And then I said, oh, yeah, I had a piss boner. Just. That's pretty good. Usually they're like in your 20s, are annoying as fuck, right?

[C]

Yeah. I remember having morning sex frequently in my 20s. And now it's like, get out of here. Get out of here between 6:30 and 8:00 clock at night. Let's do this.

[A]

Are you piss boner?

[C]

Come on. Foolishness. No, wait.

[A]

Speech at the bottom.

[C]

Yeah. Yes, speech.

[A]

Yeah, it got clipped off.

[C]

One. Speak little, do much. That's quote number one. Speak little, do much. Two, Nothing. Nothing can fuck your shit up quicker than using the wrong words. And three words Are cheapest when they are spent. Before thinking I have a. I have an order in my head.

[B]

Go ahead.

[C]

I'm gonna say Ben Walt. Tom. Ben Walt.

[B]

Fake well done is better than well said.

[C]

No.

[B]

Oh, up here. Up here. I'm sorry. Okay. Speak a little too much. I think you're okay. Yeah, I agree with you, Franklin.

[C]

Walt Tom.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Correct.

[C]

Oh man. What do we. I think we only missed one.

[B]

I think I missed two. What's the score here?

[D]

Yeah, score.

[B]

I think I missed two.

[D]

Six.

[C]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

Do you agree with that sentiment that you know, boy, you want to your world up just say the wrong thing online or on a podcast.

[C]

Considering I've seen at least two or three friends of mine get felled by saying the wrong thing at the wrong time and seeing how it's up their lives and their family's lives and their careers and reputations for a fucking joke. Yeah, I would say nothing if shit up quicker than using the wrong words. Just depends on who's deciding whether the wrong or right words. You know, who decides what are the wrong words?

[A]

Oh, I mean the Internet does apparently so.

[C]

Well, they used to.

[A]

They still can, bro.

[C]

I agree.

[A]

Respect that Internet problem.

[C]

Oh, I do.

[A]

I do respect it.

[C]

Should be a way different show.

[A]

If I didn't batter the Internet before you go to bed every night, the

[C]

show would be way more popular. But anyway.

[A]

Foolishness, right?

[C]

Yep. A foolish man spends quickly what wisdom would have hidden. Good quote, good quote. A fool and his money assume parted.

[A]

That's a popular one, right?

[C]

That's a. That's a. That's a. That's an all timer like everybody knows that quote, right? Fooling is money soon harder to get by in this world. You have to accept you will have to fool yourself often if not daily. What do you think, Brian?

[B]

I'm going to go. Wait, where is it again? Okay. Fake Ben Walt.

[C]

Fake Ben Walt. I will say I'm gonna. I would like for that famous quote to be Ben Franklin. So I'm gonna. I'm gonna swap it. I'm gonna say fake Franklin Walt.

[A]

So what was the order again? What was the first?

[C]

Brian says one is Franklin.

[B]

I said one is fake.

[C]

Oh, then we're on the same fake Ben.

[A]

Okay, so Ben Franklin was a fool in his money or soon parted.

[C]

Okay, so we got this, right?

[A]

Fake one was a foolish man spends quickly what wisdom would have hidden.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, all right. We got that one.

[A]

Do you abide again by. Or do you disagree?

[C]

Yeah, I think so. On all of them actually.

[A]

You know you have to fool yourself daily to. To make it.

[C]

Because you have to fool yourself that anything you do matters.

[A]

I think there's a whole bunch of shit you got to fool yourself on, right? To. To not go crazy or to not just give up at times.

[C]

That's probably a big part of religion, right? Everybody fooling themselves that there's an afterlife, and you'll be judged by the good and bad that you do.

[A]

I mean, that's a way to look at it. If you're not religious. Yeah, that would be.

[C]

I would think so.

[A]

But if you were saying you're fooling yourself if you are religious, though, you're saying. Yeah, okay. I don't know. I don't know if I agree with that one.

[C]

Well, that's what I'm saying.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

That's an example of, like. But the older I get, the more I'm like, I don't know.

[A]

Hey.

[B]

God. What's up?

[C]

Hey. How you been, buddy?

[A]

Are you listening?

[C]

Secrets. This is a juicy one.

[B]

Oh, secrets I like.

[C]

Okay. 1. No sound or sleep is had by those who harbor no secrets. I think that's a. I think what it means to say is no sound of sleep is had

[B]

by those who harbor no secrets.

[C]

Yeah, it's said. Weird, but. Right. Okay. You have no secrets to sleep. Well, three may keep a secret if two are dead. Very famous quote. And then a secret shared is a burden you've asked someone else to drop. Oh, that's good. Wow. This is a tougher one.

[B]

Yeah, this is definitely.

[C]

There's no modern things in it. No curses, no bitterness.

[B]

And while I zip code the. I feel like the second one is Ben Franklin, but it's only because it's a famous quote. I'm not sure if he actually said it.

[C]

Yeah,

[B]

I'm trying to figure out the fake versus Walt because they're both good. I'm gonna say what number one is Walt.

[C]

All right, I'm gonna say one's fake, two's Ben, and three is Walt.

[B]

Three is Walt. Huh. Okay, so I'm gonna go one wall, two, Ben, Three fake.

[C]

This is exciting.

[A]

Okay, so Ben Franklin.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Three may keep a secret if two of them are dead.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Flanagan. No sound or sleep is had by

[B]

those who harbor caught up or behind one of the two.

[A]

We're getting close to the end. Well, actually, there's only one more.

[C]

There's one left, so you could still tie.

[B]

I could still tie, yeah.

[C]

Okay. I really was hoping you thought the burden one was yours, because I like that. I like that quote.

[A]

That was Tom. Let's Give Tom some credit.

[B]

Yeah, unless he's looking that shit up too.

[C]

Yeah, I'm assuming he's going, not Tom.

[A]

Not my Tom.

[D]

If you make a T shirt, does he get a split down or

[B]

no answers?

[C]

No. Okay, quotes on success. The final one. All right, quote one, well done is better than well said. Great advice. Two, the harsh truth is only someone else can measure your success. I don't agree with that at all. And three, success arrives quietly, but excuses always knock loudly. I think one's been.

[B]

That's all I was gonna say. I'm having a trouble with the other two, though.

[C]

Yeah, well, you pick one, I'll pick the opposite. Just so we have a race here.

[B]

All right, I'll pick number two as Walton. Number three is fake.

[C]

Okay, so we're both on Ben on one. I'm saying three is Walton.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Franklin, well done is better than well said.

[B]

All right, now here we go. Will it tie up?

[A]

Would you rather have the fake or the. Or the Flanagan?

[C]

Flanagan.

[A]

The harsh truth is only someone else can measure your success.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Tied it up.

[C]

Tied it up at the end.

[B]

Tied it up.

[A]

Came in and you said you didn't agree with that.

[C]

No, I don't agree with that at all. I think that misses the mark completely. I think success is what you set out to do and how you feel about it when you got it or didn't get it, you know?

[A]

Yeah. I feel personally.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That I have a hard time accepting success, so I need. So I fear that I look to see if other people deem it a success that I will.

[C]

Huh.

[B]

You wonder if other people feel that you're successful.

[A]

No, no. Let's say if you put something out there into the world, and I think it really depends upon the reaction of other people will determine if I feel it is successful or not.

[C]

I think on some level that's true.

[A]

I think when you're talking about. Not talking about personal things, like a marriage or something, I'm talking about things you put out there like you're living in a sense. Yeah.

[C]

I mean, I guess. But if you look at Joker's Wild, the ratings were really good. It was just wildly rejected across the board.

[B]

Great lead in, right?

[C]

Yeah. It was us. I don't know. It's. It's a tough one. I, like, I'm writing this, like I told you, I'm, like, cracking away this novel, right? And sometimes that means a month, a page a month. Sometimes that means, like, you know, write 10 pages, whatever, in a week or whatever. But, like, as I'm writing it. I sit there and I go, I don't even know if I want to put this out. I'm like, do I even care?

[A]

But is that the human condition? Is that your fail safe to fall back on so you don't have to let it out there to be critiqued?

[C]

I don't think so. I think I'm in a pretty unique position because I'm used to people liking what I make. So I don't know that I fear. You know what I mean? I don't know if I put it out there, I don't know. I just think it doesn't matter to me. And if it doesn't matter to me, why even bother putting it out? Because that's when the work starts. Then you got to promote it, then you got to fucking talk people into buying it and you got to talk to people about it. But the part that I enjoy is sitting there, yeah, like just thinking and making myself laugh as I'm writing something that surprises me and that doesn't go away. Like, if I have the best time writing this thing and it takes me two years and I have the best time doing it and I never release it, to me that's still a success. Or if I have the best time writing it, release and it does well, that's just gravy. If I have a good time and I release it and it does. Doesn't do well, there's still gonna be people who enjoy it and I'll just be like, those people enjoyed it. Who gives a shit? I think it just, I think it just comes from what you're trying to get out of it. Like, if it's like, I want to make money, then yeah.

[A]

You don't think that. Most things deemed successful, the public has the biggest hand on whether that is true or not.

[B]

Well, commercially, sure, yeah.

[C]

Commercial.

[A]

Commercial success, yes.

[C]

Yeah. Well, there's no denying that the measure of commercial success is if it's successful, you know, financially. But does how much does that even really like us? It's like, I don't make money off that, you know what I mean? The amount of money that I, that I, that I, that I'll take home after both years is like, you would literally be like, why are you even bothering to do this? And that's not, it's not the point of it, you know what I mean? It's like, I want to get down there, I want to get the comedians down there having fun. I want to show Key west to people. So it's just an enormous success.

[A]

But what if. What if the opposite happened? Or what if, you know, they. People weren't happy after they left?

[C]

Then I would. Then I would feel I didn't succeed in what I was, what I wanted to do.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, but you still had a good time, though.

[C]

I had a blast.

[A]

Even though even other people are saying they didn't have a good time, though, but you.

[C]

Well, I would feel bad that they didn't, because I wanted them to have a good time. It was, like, my personal goal in it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

But at the same time, like, Jiggy's always like, you gotta go on that Facebook thing. Like, everybody. Look, everybody's so happy. It'll. It'll. It'll make you feel good to read it. And there's a part of me. It's like, I don't know if I want to go online and read people saying nice things about me, like. Or bad things, like, I don't know. But I did. But you know what? I did go on and look, and it did make me feel better. Not better, but it made me feel good. So I guess. I guess that's just still my own metric, right? I don't know. Leaving.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, it's a tough one. Yeah. But, like, if you wanted to write a script and that's what you wanted to do, and you did it, you succeeded.

[B]

You succeeded in doing it personally.

[A]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. I mean, I'm not discounting that achievement. Like, let's say you wanted to do it and you finally do it and you complete it and. Yeah, but at the end of the day, though, like, it does feel like somebody else's opinion on it, you know, will determine its true success, though.

[C]

Yeah, but look at the people who are giving you their opinion. Like, there's a lot of great people in the world, but there's a lot of fucking shitheads in the world. And, like, the shitheads love sharing their opinion.

[A]

Oh, well, you know. You know what? You're going to the negative side. I'm talking about. Let's say someone feels confident enough in your work that they purchase it or they. They acquire it. They feel strongly enough in it that they feel it demands a wider audience. That is also an indication of success. Other people have deemed it right, no denying.

[C]

But you, I think it's up to you to decide whether that matters to you or what matters to you. That was my problem with this quote, because it says only someone else could measure your success. I think it's the opposite.

[A]

I think I'm gonna anger some People with that one. But that's what quotes are for, right?

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

To get people riled up.

[A]

I mean, some are meant to inspire. And if it doesn't inspire you, maybe you have to look inward. And why didn't it inspire me?

[C]

Right.

[D]

Isn't that last one, like external validation that other people find it?

[A]

Validation.

[D]

External validation. So it's not in, you know, what is.

[A]

As opposed to just validation.

[D]

Internal validation. Like, you know, you believe it's good enough, but, you know, you require this. Other people to.

[A]

But it wasn't all good enough, though, if you. If you put it out there for. If you put it out there and try to get it picked up by, let's say, a studio or a comic book company or whatever, and it was rejected. At the end of the day, it was.

[D]

It doesn't mean that the. It can be an amazing piece of artwork, but just because nobody feels it's

[A]

marketable, if it's amazing, somebody, somebody somewhere will. Will think that they can make money off of it.

[D]

How many people in their time are not considered successful and then only after their deaths.

[A]

Grandma Moses.

[D]

Tons of artwork that at the time was not seen or appreciated for what it was. And then under new light, post mortem. Yeah. It becomes, oh, my God, this person was a genius. And the people get. It gets recognized.

[A]

Yeah. Poor Grandma Moses, though, that, you know, like, she wasn't here to see it, though.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

When I lived in. When I lived in la, I wrote a script and I was talking. I was writing for Dimension at the time, and they hipped me to some guys at a. At an agency. So I sent him the script. Didn't hear back. Hey, what did you think? A week later? Didn't hear back. Didn't hear back. To me. And to me that I was like, that was not successful.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Even though I wrote the script and even though I liked it, I figured, I feel. Felt like that external validation or that, like, yes, if it's good enough, somebody will want to buy it. This is one guy who read it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Who knows.

[C]

It's like. But it's not even. There's so many more factors going into the decision to buy it that have nothing to do with what you did or what you wrote.

[D]

Yeah. He may have been looking for a different kind of script.

[C]

That's it. Or his best friend could have just handed him a script and he's like, I can only pick one. I'm not even. You know what I mean? Like, it might. It might have nothing to do with your thing. Like, I Just pitched this TV show that, like, there was. Everybody was so excited about Warner Brothers. So this is like within the last, like, month. Warner Brothers is excited about then. Then the Paramount Warner Brothers thing happened right away. People start losing their jobs and they're like, well, we're not even gonna bother going forward this. Because we don't even know if this department's gonna be here. And I was able to turn around and say after I got off that phone call, where they were like, they're not going ahead with it. Do you wanna pitch it somewhere else? I was like, yeah, I'm good. I was like, you know what? I was like, honestly, if they had said yes, that's the second my problems would have started. I was like, that's that it. I was like, now, like, I did the fun part.

[A]

You're a successful man, though.

[C]

Sure, but that just means that I have a perspective on both sides.

[A]

Yeah, but like, a successful man obviously has

[C]

rejection room to not give a fuck.

[A]

Yeah, well. But also has. He's had. He's dealt with rejection.

[C]

Oh, constant.

[E]

Right.

[A]

And now. Now you have a little bit more wisdom and a little bit. A different perspective.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And this allows you to have that mindset because of your successes, though. I think they may. They blunt.

[C]

That's true Pain, without a doubt. There's zero pain. There was zero pain, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's literally.

[B]

But if you're a guy who's, like, been fighting for 10, 20 years to, like, get something made and they just keep going, they keep writing, they keep pitching, and they never get anything done, it's like, that's a guy who I can imagine, like, doesn't feel successful.

[C]

Right, right. But again, it's. So what you're saying is actually kind of just validating. What I'm saying is it's such an individual perspective on it that other people can't really decide, you know, because maybe the. Maybe the gig for that guy who never got something made was, hey, I'm 25, I want to go to. I want to spend my 20s in LA trying to get this thing going, you know, going to bars, hanging out. You know what I mean? Like. Like living that lifestyle. And then. And it doesn't work out, but, like, you know, 10 years later, when they're married with kids, they're still like, oh, man, that was a fucking great time when I was running around LA when I was 25. It's just. That's what I mean. It's like. It's hard to. It's hard to put it in the hands of other people. But commercial success. Couldn't agree more. Like, yeah, it's in the hands of other people, but I think it's a sucker's game to have that be your main concern.

[A]

Okay. So I really want to. I want so badly I want to pitch something. To pitch my work. Not a project. I want to draw something from Marvel. Don't know. Probably will never happen. But can I. Can I really say that, like, well, like, how do I digest that if it. If it. If it turns out it never happens and.

[C]

Well, you did it for dc.

[A]

Yeah, but I want to do it on my own, though. I don't want Kevin to be the guy that made it, facilitated that opportunity.

[D]

Have you produced something that is on par or better than things Marvel have put out?

[E]

Out?

[A]

I'm not sure.

[C]

Oh, the answer is yes.

[D]

Yeah. I mean, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. So, you know, it just. Then it's just feelings. It's not object. It's not the object.

[A]

Yeah, it's definitely.

[D]

There have been people who've been blacklisted for. Maybe they said something wrong. And even though they're putting out quality work, the only reason they're not is because of feelings.

[A]

I don't think that's the reason why I'm.

[D]

Oh, no, no. I'm just saying this is other people.

[A]

Maybe if they listen.

[D]

I mean, you can. You can see stuff that marbles put out, and you can go, this is way under my. Under, you know, subpar to what I'm producing.

[A]

That goes back to what was the pride and zip code thing. Yeah. Pride and narcissism share the same zip code.

[D]

It's not an objective thing. You can put up two panels and ask 100 people which is the better panel, and they could say, you know, 99 can say it's yours. But you just didn't. You just.

[A]

Well, you got to convince that editor.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

That you're worth taking a risk on, that your work can sell.

[D]

But, like.

[C]

Yeah, but you have a body of work already. Like. Well, I guess my question would be, like, what are you doing to get the job at Marvel?

[A]

Well, in 2027, I'm going to. I'm going to really push it.

[C]

Okay. So that's awesome. Yeah.

[A]

What's the.

[C]

Now you're gonna try and get Marvel.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I'm going to make a concentrated effort.

[B]

Well, why are you waiting?

[A]

I want to get something that I'm working on under, like, done so I can.

[B]

Oh, gotcha.

[A]

Show them, like, okay, this is what I've been working on. This is what I'm capable of. I'd love to be able to work on this one thing, one time.

[D]

You have a way to get your foot in the door that. That isn't coming.

[A]

I would like to know, because I think a lot of people. That is the listener's assumption. I don't have a foot. Where is that foot? Where do I got to put that foot?

[D]

Same foot that got Teddy into the.

[C]

My mom.

[B]

Oh, the listener. Oh. Can my son draw a picture for you?

[A]

Hello, Marvel Comics? This is Walt Flanagan's mom. He's a good drawer. You should give him a book verbally. The werewolf book. He likes that. Wolf Man. He'd love to do that. Do it. I'm gonna call back.

[B]

Don't make me come down there.

[A]

Okay. You say the listeners is my foot.

[D]

So it could be. It could be.

[A]

Do I want to lean on that? Do I want to. Do I want to use that. That as a. As a means to be like. Like venom again? Or, like, have I accomplished it without. With. With a way that other people have just done it with merit?

[D]

But part of you is what got those listeners.

[A]

But not my artwork, though

[D]

your artwork has gotten you. You know, you use your artwork for Patreon stuff. You know, it's part of your. Your core, and it's part of why people like you, because you are a great artist.

[A]

Oh, man. This guy's nose. You don't plan it there a hell of a lot late. Less lately. You should keep it there. You should keep it right where it's at right now. I don't know why you ever remove it.

[D]

I comment all the time.

[B]

Look like Vince McMahon got at him.

[A]

You should be wearing my crown.

[D]

It's in the back on the pile.

[C]

I found it.

[A]

I threw it out. Well, my wife found it.

[D]

She like.

[B]

What's this?

[A]

Oh, that's. That's kid's crown. Oh, I thought Teddy had. Teddy had an accident. No, yeah, I understand what you're saying. You know what? In 2027, if. If that. If it pushed. If. If it comes to that, I am willing to do it, but I would prefer not to be able to use that kind of.

[D]

I don't think there's anything wrong with it, though. I don't think it. I don't think it.

[B]

Yeah, I see what. I see what Walt's saying, though. Like.

[D]

Like nepotism is different because that's. You know, you don't have a. Like you're just born into it, but, like, being able to Rally a fandom, you know.

[A]

Yeah. I mean I, I won't lie to them. I'll be, I'll try to, to kind of shine a light, image convey to whoever's listening. If I can even talk, talk to somebody. Like, I could move a lot of units to this base.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Even if they don't want it. I could use it as a patron, get it anyway. That's just the truth. Right. I mean, I could just, you know, and then it's like, yeah, I can move a lot of units. Well. And will I use that stick? Yeah, probably will. If I find myself not being able to garner it on abilities alone, I

[D]

think it seems to work for other people.

[B]

Yeah, I see what you're saying though. Like Stephen King's son went by the name Joe Hill.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, because he didn't want anybody to be like, oh, that's just Stephen King's son. And it worked like he was able to sell books on his own merit,

[C]

you know, I mean they weren't shy about getting it out there that even

[B]

Stephen King after that.

[C]

Yeah. Kind of knew that before I knew

[A]

who was Richard Bachman.

[B]

That was Stephen King.

[A]

Why did he do that?

[B]

Because he was writing so much that they didn't want the market to be saturated with Stephen King stuff. So he wrote his different people.

[A]

How does that happen now that you, how are you able to produce that much?

[B]

Who the fuck knows?

[A]

Well, especially at that age.

[B]

At that age it was probably coke.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah, he was on coke.

[D]

And I think he. Then he got into a habit of writing, like maybe

[C]

pretty prolific without the coke. He says he writes a minimum of 10 pages a day. I mean when you're doing an output

[A]

like that, it's like how many words is 10 pages?

[C]

You think, what is it? 380. 350 pages.

[B]

350 words to a page. So say 3,500 words.

[C]

Sure, 3,500 words a page a day for 10 pages.

[D]

10 to 2,000 words a day are roughly six pages. That's a strict writing quote.

[C]

Wait, say that again.

[D]

1,000 to 2,000 words a day are roughly six pages.

[C]

Okay, so maybe slow down a bit because in his book he was like, he wrote, he, he writes, he writes 10 pages a day.

[B]

Yeah, I, I saw an interview with him about that book. He's like, most of it was it. I just said, yeah. And I was like, that's great.

[C]

He. But you know, Brian lynch is like that.

[B]

Brian lynch non stop is, is.

[C]

I've never seen anything like it. And good Machine. Machine isn't the word.

[B]

He.

[C]

He would. We'd be hanging out, and he'd be like, I have an idea for a screenplay on a Thursday and Monday. He'd be like, would you mind reading the screenplay?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, he. He just. He's a machine. It just comes out of him. And it's. It's good.

[A]

Coke fueled?

[C]

No, more like even. I can't even say what it is. I wish I knew what it was. Yeah, it's just a talent.

[B]

Drive and drive.

[C]

Yeah.

[D]

He's like, you got to get it out of you.

[C]

It's. Yeah. Yeah. Since I was a teenager, he's always been like, my guy. Of like, I'll never. I'll never live up to this guy.

[A]

So you feel you're. You're the opposite. It's. It's more pulling teeth for you.

[C]

Oh, everything's pulling teeth for me. Everything. Everything's pulling teeth for me.

[A]

No matter what it is in your

[B]

life, everything in the morning,

[C]

I don't want it.

[A]

Oh, poor Q. He go for too much pussy in the morning.

[C]

I just woke up. Get this off my face. No. Everything professional. Everything. Everything is pulling teeth with me. Always. I don't know why. I've always been that way. I wish it wasn't that way.

[A]

Why do you think? If you had to point to one thing, why do you think that is?

[C]

I think I'm like that because I

[A]

feel like at times it could feel like, oh, man, I'm trying to get something. It's like, oh, it's pulling teeth. Trying to get this angle or this drawing that I want done. And I would chalk it up more to an inability to deem it good enough.

[C]

No, it's not that. Because I'm a big fan of, like, vomit drafts. I love writing, like, just put out everything and then refine it later so I never mind when a first draft shitty. I just think, like, I'm the. I'm a grasshopper, man. You know? Well, the answer work, and there's somebody over there fiddling. I think I just like fiddling too much.

[A]

I would never. Yeah, I don't think anybody would look at you as the grasshopper.

[C]

It's. Dude. It is a tragedy of my life.

[A]

Public perception is not that, Grasshopper, because

[C]

I work my ass off, but I don't want to.

[A]

I know. Trust me. I know. Grasshoppers.

[B]

We should start a bluegrass.

[A]

You're not a grasshopper. The TST town is full of grasshoppers.

[C]

I know.

[B]

Everybody's fiddling.

[A]

That's all we got. We are infested with grasshoppers.

[C]

I'm telling you, I'm a grasshopper. Grasshopper. I'm a grasshopper. I am. I. I. Everything I've ever done, I've been dragged to do, you know, And I. I have a sense of responsibility to people, so I always try and. But now my natural state is like this. I'd rather sit in the yard and, like, feed the cats and. And, like, feed squirrels and not do anything.

[B]

Now, did that come with when you got older and more successful or. No, the whole time.

[A]

But that. That doesn't represent your reality, though.

[C]

No, it doesn't. Well, because I'm not.

[A]

You know, you say yes to everything. It feels like.

[B]

No.

[C]

I say no to. I say no to a lot of stuff. Well, for us, it was just like. With the show and the touring and stuff, it was like, you know, if somebody had asked me, you're gonna sign up for this thing that's you're gonna be doing for 16 years and counting, and you're gonna work your ass off for a full decade straight. It wasn't presented to me like that in the beginning. You know what I mean? Like. Cause they were years where we would work seven days a week for like, five years in a row. It was insane, you guys. You know, and I just never. I never enjoyed that aspect of it. There are people that. Gattle loves it. Gattle loves that work. Murray loves that work. I don't. I mean, you were.

[B]

I remember when the show was first spoken about, there was a moment where it might have been sold to mtv, and you guys weren't going to be on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I remember you were leaning towards that.

[C]

I got outvoted on that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I was like, let's just sell it to mtv. We won't be on it. But, you know, even the fireman thing, like, you know, we worked 48 hours a week, but crap, not into two days. And then the other five days, I was.

[B]

Did you fiddle?

[C]

I was fiddling all over the island.

[A]

But were you fiddling at the fire station when you had.

[C]

No, no, no.

[A]

Just back there, when you got to

[C]

work, you got to work.

[A]

Okay. All right.

[C]

And I know when it's time to work. I just don't. And I love being a fireman, and I was younger, you know, late 20s and shit like that, but if I wasn't at the firehouse, it was just fiddle. Fiddle central, man. Yeah.

[A]

Couldn't knock that fiddle out of your hands, huh?

[C]

Yeah, I love that fiddle. All I want to do is fiddle

[B]

Charlie Daniels over here.

[C]

Yeah. And the older I get, the less I want to fucking. All I want to do is fiddle.

[A]

I think I. I wish I didn't fiddle as much as I did like in the. In my youth. I feel I would be much at a. At a different stage of, of where I would like to be if I wasn't fucking fiddling around instead of wasting it time, you know?

[C]

Yeah, I get that too.

[A]

Yeah. There's more regret, you know, I don't look back and enjoy that time. I was like, oh, I fucking watched 12 Hours of King of the Queens straight.

[C]

How much fun was it to watch King of Queens though?

[B]

I feel like the fuck out of my life.

[A]

It would have been there anyway. There were other times I could have watched it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, I shouldn't have to just sit there and chocolate milk and watch King of Queens every night.

[C]

I agree. It's a fucking point.

[B]

Drink chocolate milk, watch King of Queens. It doesn't sound that bad.

[C]

It doesn't sound bad. That's the problem. Yeah, but video games. I'll play video games for hours. I just. In the last month I beat Resident Evil 4, 7, 8, 9. And these are like 30 hour games.

[A]

What happened to 5 and 6?

[C]

They didn't do a remake of them, so I didn't want to replay them with the old graphics and shit.

[A]

How many hours is devoted to that, that, that achievement?

[C]

I mean, a hundred, hundred something hours. And that's me playing like at like from like 10 at night to like 3 in the morning and then getting up for work at like seven the next day and stuff like that. I like, I need that fiddle time. If I don't get that fiddle time,

[A]

you're no use to anybody.

[C]

Was that.

[A]

You're no use to anybody if you don't get your fiddle time.

[C]

Need the fiddle time. I get resentful. I do. I get resentful. I'm like, why the am I just doing this? Blah, blah, blah is my fiddle. Get my fiddle.

[E]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I could fiddle with the best of them. Maybe.

[A]

I don't know. We got some pros in tsd.

[C]

Yeah, no, yeah, we got some.

[A]

We got some hall of fame fiddlers here. Tell them, steve, dave.