Molly (63:47)
I don't know about none of it. My coming to being pro life was happened in a mushroom journey far before COVID when I was 30 ish, 30 something. I was still married to my first husband, I think. And I went to a gathering at my dad's farm where he had a agualita, a grandmother from Mexico. There's 13 indigenous grandmothers that preside over indigenous medicine, and they're kind of the caretakers for indigenous medicine. They meet a couple times a year and try to save these traditions and in a world that maybe doesn't respect them or honor them anymore. So they were doing a mushroom tea gathering at my father's farm. I was invited up I went, and very quickly, after drinking the tea, my uncle was walking across the field, and he's like a little hunched over and his Body went from being hunched over like an elderly man to a fetus. Then it do a young boy into a young man and then it do an old man. And it kept doing that across the field. And then all of a sudden I see this whole blanket of threads, like beautiful light threads of light that were wove the entire blanket together. And it was all of life and how it was all intertwined and interconnected perfectly. And then the blanket swept up into the air and under the blanket there was all these vacuums sucking souls, threads out of the blanket and pulling and pulling and pulling and pulling and making the blanket not be the same as it was because all these lives were being pulled out of it. And it got really dark and really bad. And I was crying. I didn't know. I said, like, what do you want? What do you want from me? Like, just blood and guts and fetuses and everything. And I had had two abortions in my early 20s and I never thought about them again. Treated it like a root canal. And the voice said, do you believe in divine intelligence? And I said, yes. And the voice said that it wasn't your choice to make. I can see more than you can see. Your view is limited. And then the voice said, the mother and the father and the child is the holy Trinity, the foundation. You must keep that intact. And I was like, I'm not even in touch with this person I had the baby with. Like, I don't know what you want from me. And I got frustrated after a while because it was dark and it seemed like a long time that this was going on. I don't know what you want. And then it got all light and white and like, arms of love of like a parent that knows that you've done something wrong. But, like, total forgiveness, total understanding, total value for seeing you. And the voice said, promise to never do it again and never use your words to encourage anybody to do it. And I literally, in my head, said, I can do that, but I'm not going to be pro life. Like, literally, like, I'm not. I was so liberal, so, so liberal that I said that I didn't tell anybody about this vision or hallucination. And I went about my life and I opened more restaurants and endorsed my husband. And I put it out of my mind. And I didn't even tell anybody about it until my father had an experience on Ayahuasca where he called me to tell me that he, the voice, had told him to reverse his vasectomy and that what he had done was wrong with My mother having abortions with my mother, and that he had to promise to never use his words. Same words came through the ayahuasca that came through the mushrooms. So that was the first person I told about. It was when my dad told me that I told him. And then years go by. I'm opening Culver City, I'm divorcing my ex husband. And my ex husband had a very hard time with his brother being in prison. His best friend died of a drug interaction, and he was drunk in the restaurant one night and ended up spitting in my face. And I want to say he's a very good man. And there was a bad moment for him in his life, and I went to the kitchen crying. And a young cook that I was friends with brought me a margarita. I never drink. He said, drink this. The Huffington Post is outside waiting to interview me about what is it like to be business partners with Woody Harrelson and Jason Mraz and how's this new restaurant going? And I'm crying behind the pizza oven, and the cook goes and gets me another margarita, and I drink it. I pull myself together, I go do the interview. My husband's roommates come and get him, and I make it through the night. And that cook then says, well, I'm going to come and drive you home because I've never seen you drink before. So I don't think that you should drink and drive. One thing leads to another in a very vulnerable moment. I sleep with him. And then the next morning, immediately regret it. Tell him, I'm so sorry, I apologize. Please go back to your girlfriend at the host stand and never think of me again. And two weeks later, I'm pregnant. And I know what I need to do. I literally know that I need to marry this person who doesn't speak English, who's undocumented, who's 13 years younger than me, who has nothing in common with me. Nothing. And I promise, God, mother, father, child, holy trinity, keep it intact. And it's so hard because I have investors and I have. There's, like, employees and all this stuff. And I feel shame and embarrassment and I don't even know what to do. But I go to the restaurant, I tell him, and it's interesting, is that his father, his father was one of 27 children that was spawned, like, up and down the coast of Huatulco, Oaxaca, like that. And so his father always said to him, you could never leave your child. If you get someone pregnant, you can never leave them. So God working in my favor, years and years before this was ever a thing. He had been indoctrinated every meal, every family meeting, every interaction. You never leave your child. So he agreed that we needed to get married. And we got married two weeks later on Thanksgiving Day. And our vows were something like, this may seem crazy to you guys, but we think it's what's best for our family. And we ask that the community does it diminish this and supports it. And if either one of us comes to you saying it's a hard time, please support us. And we had the community say, I do. And then we said, we commit to be the best parents that we could be and get to know each other and build this family the best we can. Like, I don't know, what are you gonna say about this kind of marriage? And we got married, and it was super awkward. And he got drunk with, like, all the cooks on one side of the yard. And I was sitting on the other side of the yard with my dad and my stepmom on a bench thinking, what have I done? What is going on here? And Awkward December, Awkward Christmas. You know, this is before, like, Instagram and Twitter, where you could just, like, go into your own world and scroll. So we're trying to find things that we can watch on TV together. We're watching animal shows because basically you can follow along with the animal shows. And then we lose the baby in January. So I got pregnant in October, married in November, Christmas, and we lose the baby. And I think, lord, I have been completely obedient. I don't understand this level of radical faith and obedience should be rewarded in my small human mind. And most of my friends are basically telling me, like, celebrating, like, you can get out of this, Molly. Just. It's a. It's less than six months. You can just get it annulled. It doesn't exist. Just be done. And we go to this Indian family. Huge Indian family comes to Sage in Culver City. They rent out the whole restaurant for the evening, and they do this big vegetarian buffet. And they ask the cooks and the chefs to come out and to be acknowledged. And out of politeness, I'm standing at the front where the couple that's doing their 50th wedding anniversary that are the matriarch and patriarch of the hundred and something people in the room, I say politely, tell me the secret to 50 years of marriage. And she said, well, we were an arranged marriage, so we've always been building for tomorrow. We're always putting our family, our community and our business at the center of our marriage. And we've built our love inside of that. Okay. God. So we decided that that baby arranged our marriage, and this is what we were meant to do. We stayed married. At 13 years later, we still are married. We have four children. Is exquisite life. And during COVID a young man high school student showed up at my farm, Osmar, that was an unaccompanied minor that came to reunite with his family during the Trump administration. He borrowed money and he took an Uber to my farm to volunteer during COVID And he had seen me on YouTube, and he felt like he belonged with our family. He felt like he belonged that there was some connection between me and him. And we ended up taking custody of him, and he lived with us pretty much almost immediately. And I believe that that's the soul that I aborted was brought back to me 20 years later as a gift for my obedience.