Podcast Summary: Texas Family Law Insiders

Episode: Family Law Insider Tips for a Successful Mediation
Date: October 15, 2025
Host: Holly Draper
Guest: Kerry Tapia

Episode Overview

In this episode, Holly Draper and her law partner Kerry Tapia dive deep into the strategies and best practices for attorneys preparing for family law mediation in Texas. They discuss why thorough preparation is essential, outline the practical steps for getting ready, share tips for effective client management, and emphasize the importance of anticipation and information exchange. Using candid anecdotes and actionable advice, they deliver a comprehensive guide for family attorneys wanting to maximize successful outcomes in mediation.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Importance of Preparation for Mediation

• Preparation Equals Respect: Kerry stresses that clients deserve an attorney ready to advise and recommend—not one scrambling for facts during mediation ([00:00]; [01:12]).
  • Quote: "Clients deserve to have a lawyer that's prepared for their mediation and is, you know, able to make recommendations and help them settle their case and not be trying to figure out what your kid's name is and oh, did you want this house or not in the middle of mediation?" — Kerry Tapia ([00:00])
• Financial and Practical Consequences: An unprepared attorney wastes client money and time, especially since mediation often involves three professionals billing simultaneously ([01:12]).

2. Timing and Scheduling of Mediation

• No One-Size-Fits-All: The right time to mediate depends on case complexity, court orders, and "bad facts" that may need to fade ([01:53]).
  • Factors to Consider:
    • Court-ordered deadlines.
    • Amicability and unresolved details.
    • Temporary orders and real-life trial of schedules or arrangements.
    • Client financial status and information readiness.
  • Quote: "You need some time to see how that possession schedule works out ... let's give it some time to see ... before we, you know, try to figure out final terms." — Kerry Tapia ([02:44])

3. Pre-Mediation Steps and Client Preparation

• Early Communication: Begin mediation prep discussions at the initial consult ([04:11]).
• Client Info Packets: Send general info about the mediation process soon after scheduling ([04:45]).
• Multiple Prep Sessions: Use two or more meetings, especially for divorce cases, to address children's issues first, then property ([05:10]).
  • "Ferrari of Contracts": Kerry strongly emphasizes to clients the binding nature of the Mediation Settlement Agreement (MSA) ([05:31]).
  • Quote: "It's the most binding contract in the world. I maybe oversell that a bit just to really get in. Really want them to understand that you cannot change your mind." — Kerry Tapia ([05:31])

4. Managing Client Expectations

• Attorney’s Role: Attorneys must set realistic expectations early so the mediator isn’t the bearer of “bad news” ([06:59]-[08:02]).

  • Quote: "You don't want mediation to be the first time they hear the bad news about their case." — Holly Draper ([07:58])

• Opening Offers: The opening offer should be reasonable but leave negotiation space; avoid starting with extreme positions ([08:18]).

  • Quote: "If we're going to end up ... between 48 and 52 on the scale, let's not start out at 2." — Holly Draper ([08:18])

5. Inventory Exchange and Use of Experts

• Inventory Timing: Sworn inventories should ideally be exchanged 5–6 weeks ahead of mediation for complex estates ([10:04]).
• Use of Financial Advisors: For clients unfamiliar with finances (e.g., long-time homemakers), bring in divorce mortgage specialists or financial advisors ([11:16]).
  • Quote: "A certain amount of money and equity in a house is not the same as a certain amount of money in a 401k. And I've seen lots of offers and agreements that don't necessarily take that into account" — Kerry Tapia ([12:50])

6. Identifying Priorities and Potential Sticking Points

• Understand Both Sides' Priorities: Assess clients’ and opposing parties’ critical goals to guide negotiation ([13:13]).

• Advance Discussion on Custody Rights and Duties: Don't gloss over conservatorship details; pre-empt disagreements on major child-related decision points ([13:13]-[14:59]).

  • Quote: "Those other rights and duties can ... make it or break it sometimes." — Kerry Tapia ([14:59])

• Cultural and Religious Holidays: Tailor schedules for family-specific holidays and check for unstated religious or personal priorities ([17:01]; [17:37]).

• Custom Schedules and Realistic Planning: Warn clients about long-term downsides of overly “split” holiday or possession plans ([18:02]).

7. Adapting to School Schedules and Unique Circumstances

• Nontraditional School Schedules: Address challenges with districts that use four-day or fluctuating weeks, and build in flexible provisions for future changes ([18:52]-[20:42]).
  • Quote: "The SPO is not built for that. So either school districts need to quit or SPO needs to catch up." — Kerry Tapia ([20:33])

8. Safeguards and Unique Clauses

• Special Concerns: Plan for special circumstances like substance abuse or safety (e.g., alcohol clauses, SilverLink, etc.), as orders are hard to amend post-mediation ([20:42]-[21:26]).

9. Providing Mediator Information in Advance

• Position Papers: Send concise factual backgrounds, family details, and pain points to mediators beforehand to streamline mediation ([21:28]-[23:25]).

  • Quote: "It's going to be quicker for you to read that than for us to sit in here and chit chat for an hour." — Holly Draper ([23:30])

• Both agree that mediator preparation improves efficiency and reduces frustration.

10. Spreadsheet Management During Mediation

• Preferred Format: Use internal, verified spreadsheets to track property divisions and offers; be wary of formula errors from opposing spreadsheets ([24:11]).
• Fresh Account Data: Take screenshots of fluctuating account balances first thing on mediation day for accuracy ([25:15]).

11. Triggers for Mediation Cancellation/Rescheduling

• Document Refusal: Refusal by opposing party to provide needed documents is a primary reason for cancellation ([26:44]).
• Major Family Events: Recent major developments (e.g., CPS involvement, child injury) may also require rescheduling ([27:30]).
• Cancellation Deadlines: Attorneys should track mediator cancellation deadlines and be pragmatic about rescheduling if unprepared ([27:38]).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Preparation:
  "It's kind of the equivalent of showing up to trial unprepared." — Kerry Tapia ([01:12])

• On Mediation Expectations:
  "You don't want mediation to be the first time they hear the bad news about their case." — Holly Draper ([07:58])

• On The Binding Nature of MSA:
  "It's the most binding contract in the world. I maybe oversell that a bit ... I used to say that it was like a tattoo, but now that doesn't work anymore because you can have tattoos removed." — Kerry Tapia ([05:31])

• On Custom Holiday Schedules:
  "There are holidays that are super important to some families that are not included in the standard possession orders ... You need to know whether or not you need to include all that." — Kerry Tapia ([17:01])

• On Mediator Preparation:
  "It's going to be quicker for you to read that than for us to sit in here and chit chat for an hour." — Holly Draper ([23:30])

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment Topic | Timestamp | |------------------------------------------------------------|---------------| | The necessity of mediation prep | 00:00–01:12 | | Choosing when to schedule mediation | 01:47–03:06 | | Steps from scheduling to pre-mediation client prep | 04:11–06:59 | | Managing expectations and opening offers | 06:59–09:18 | | Exchange of inventories and use of experts | 09:48–12:50 | | Priority assessment and custody prepping | 13:13–14:59 | | Addressing holidays, custom schedules, school changes | 17:01–20:42 | | Mediator information and position papers | 21:28–23:25 | | Use and management of property division spreadsheets | 24:11–25:59 | | Triggers and reasons to cancel or reschedule mediation | 26:44–28:46 |

Summary Takeaways

• Solid prep protects both attorney and client interests—and saves time and money.
• Begin discussions and preparation early, with multiple client meetings to cover both "kiddos" and property.
• Set and manage client expectations realistically to avoid disappointment and lengthy mediation sessions.
• Exchange financial inventories well in advance—5–6 weeks for complex estates—and bring in experts as needed.
• Bring all relevant information (priorities, rights, unique schedules or issues) to the table before mediation day.
• Always provide the mediator with a summary and pain points before the session for efficiency.
• Double-check spreadsheets and account values on mediation day to avoid errors or surprises.
• Be ready to cancel or reschedule mediation if unprepared—forcing a resolution rarely serves anyone.

“The biggest piece of it is thinking about it ahead of time … you need to put ticklers on your calendar to be looking at things before the day of mediation.”
— Kerry Tapia ([26:13])