Padma Lakshmi

Summary

Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim

Episode: Padma Lakshmi
Date: November 25, 2025
Guest: Padma Lakshmi
Host: Ego Nwodim

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Overview

In this heartfelt and sharply funny episode, Ego Nwodim welcomes Padma Lakshmi — acclaimed food expert, author, and television host — to dive into family, culture, motherhood, career pivots, and what it means to thrive as a first-generation American. The conversation winds through vivid personal stories, relatable struggles with parenting and cultural expectations, the joys and quirks of food, and candid advice for living fully and authentically. At its core, Ego and Padma’s dialogue explores how upbringing and family (especially their mothers and grandparents) shaped their identities — and how those roots endure as they parent the next generation.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Handshakes, Hugs, and Human Connection

• [03:15] Ego opens with a trademark comedic riff on post-pandemic etiquette, declaring:

  "I would like to abolish handshakes. I think we need to abolish them expeditiously.
  ...Why do I have to touch your hand to my hand for us to feel connected? Mind you, I'm a big hugger. Love a hug."

• The banter sets the tone for an open, honest chat about authentic connection and boundaries.

2. Food, Upbringing, and Cultural Identity

• [06:47] - [13:21] Ego and Padma swap stories about how their homelife shaped their relationships to food, with comic observations about sweet tooths, cooking habits, and Nigerian vs. Indian culinary traditions.

• Padma explains her lack of a sweet tooth is rooted in growing up in an Indian household where dessert wasn’t a constant fixture.

  [07:43] "I just grew up in an Indian home, and we don't serve something sweet after every meal. So I don't have the practice of it. And so it saved me." — Padma Lakshmi

• They bond over the challenges (and joys) of cooking for one, favorite comfort meals (Ego’s jollof rice vs. Padma’s Indian stews), and the cross-cultural drama of party jollof rice.

  [09:32] Ego: "There is some beef between the Ghanaians and the Nigerians as to who has the best jollof rice, and it is the Nigerians. Sorry…"

• Padma nerds out on ingredient twists in her new cookbook’s jollof rice recipe.

  [10:12] "And they put things like sun dried tomatoes and a little bit of dashi. And I was like, that doesn't sound very Nigerian...But it's delicious. I make it all the time." — Padma

3. Who Do You Want to Say Thanks To?

"Thanks Dad" Signature Segment

• [15:19] Padma chooses her grandparents for this honor.

  [15:24] "My mom divorced my biological dad, who I never knew, and she came to America when I was 2...My grandparents were huge influences. My grandfather loved books. My grandmother loved cooking...She wasn't a cuddly grandma. She was very practical. But she taught me how to cook and about life through cooking. It's no surprise now, looking back." — Padma Lakshmi

• She credits her grandparents with instilling both literary and culinary passions, directly pointing to her later success.

4. Career Beginnings & Identity

• [16:28] - [19:43]
  • Padma candidly shares how writing, acting, modeling, and food all interwove in her early career. She describes “hustling” multiple jobs before food writing/hosting took off:

    [18:57] "So I had to do all, I was hustling, and I didn’t know which one would take off."

• Notably, food was not her dream:

  [18:09] "What did you want to be initially?" "An actor...I only started food writing to pay my student loans. I never understood there was a career as a food writer."

• Both discuss academic backgrounds that didn’t directly align with career trajectories, and how immigrant family expectations (doctor/lawyer/etc.) shape choices.

5. Motherhood, Multicultural Parenting, and Privilege

• [28:26 - 38:33]
  • Padma reflects on raising her daughter Krishna as a single, Indian-American mother — and the cultural and racial complexities that brings:

    [28:54] "It's also interesting to raise a child that doesn't have the same skin color as you. I basically gave birth to a white girl...But she's brown on the inside — you can tell she's Indian when she dances." — Padma

  • She describes struggles — balancing privilege, instilling values, contending with technology (Uber, Uber Eats), and wanting Krishna to have freedom but also accountability.

    [31:13] "I have her location at all times on my phone...I wanted to take the subway, but she takes Uber...she needs to learn. But it’s a struggle."

  • They also connect over how food/peer culture changes kids’ habits (e.g., “I cook soondubu and she orders Taco Bell.”).

6. Maintaining Culture and Respect

• [44:00] - [49:56]
  • Padma emphasizes how she actively transmits Indian-American values: respect for books and elders, family ties, prayers before big events, not wearing shoes in the house, calling elders "Auntie" or "Uncle."

  [44:39] "Krishna will never step on a book...That’s very Indian, because we think of books and literature as something sacred." — Padma

  • She notes the difficulty of maintaining tight-knit extended family relationships in U.S. culture, but insists it’s non-negotiable:

    [49:04] "Sometimes she's like, I'm bored, I don't want to go. And I'm like, sorry, it’s not negotiable. These are your family, you’re stuck with us...It’s not a choice."

  • Padma laughs about how she’s more lax about other things (e.g., bedtime) than the “typical” American parent.

7. On Fame, Boundaries, and Raising Kids in the Public Eye

• [38:38] - [43:33]
  • Padma recounts how Krishna realized her mother was “famous” — paparazzi waiting outside her school, people at the market asking for photos.

  [39:27] "It got bad enough that I had a key to a side entrance for the school...Now she’s more comfortable. She understands it’s part of the gig, since she wants to be a performer, but for a while, she was really irritated by it."

8. Advice Segment: Writing a Book & On Dating in Your 'Upper 30s'

Writing a Book

• [64:22] - [69:49]
  • Ego asks if everyone should write a book; Padma offers wisdom that applies far beyond cookbook-writing:

    [65:12] "You need to have a fully formed opinion about said thing. And you also need to have a unique perspective...if there’s something you care about enough, whether you’re an expert or not, that will carry you through.” "Books last a long time. You want to be proud of it in 20 years."

Listener Advice: Dating After a Breakup

• [70:04] - [78:10]
  • A listener, Matt, asks (in his "upper 30s") how to get back out there after a breakup.
  • Padma:

    [71:36] “If I knew, I wouldn’t be single! But seriously — anything you can do in real life is important. Join a class, club, community…live your real life, not just on the apps.”

  • Both suggest: focus on living fully, pursuing interests, and let connection happen organically — and, let friends/colleagues know you’re interested in meeting someone.
  • Padma’s humorous stories of pen-pal relationships and awkward dates add realness ("I'm not a one-night stander… I need to feel comfortable").

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Respect for Culture & Books:
  [44:39] Padma: "Krishna will never step on a book. She stops, touches the book, touches her eyes. That’s very Indian — we think of books and literature as sacred.”

• On Parenting & Privilege:
  [33:25] “She wants to make her own way…she really has big plans for herself. Is she gonna clean up her room? Not until I say it the 18th time, but that’s normal for American teens.” — Padma

• On Food & Family:
  [09:00] “Try to cook one dish that you love, like Nigerian stew, and then eat off that…it actually gets better the next day.” — Padma

• On Being a Multi-Hyphenate:
  [18:57] “I was hustling and I didn’t know which [career] would take off.” — Padma

• On Dating Apps vs. Real Life:
  [71:36] “Now you have to make a date before you even know if this guy smells.” — Padma

• Sibling Rivalry — Daughter vs. Dog:
  [54:39] "I love my daughter way more than my dog, but sometimes I like my dog better." — Padma

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Timestamps – Key Segments

• Handshakes & Germs Rant: 03:15
• Jollof Rice and Food Upbringing: 09:14
• Padma’s Thanks Segment: 15:19
• Modeling, Writing, Career Pivots: 18:09
• Parenting, Cultural Values, and Privilege: 28:26, 44:00
• Public Life & Motherhood: 38:38
• Listener Advice: Writing a Book: 64:22
• Listener Advice: Dating: 70:04

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Tone & Atmosphere

The episode is conversational, intimate, and funny — a blend of memoir, wisdom, and sharp social observation. Ego and Padma’s cultural backgrounds add a vibrant, relatable richness. Padma brings candid vulnerability, sharing lessons from raising a biracial daughter in New York and the nuances of generational (and immigrant) family ties. Ego’s warmth and wry asides keep the energy lively and deeply human.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This is a must-listen if you want to hear two whip-smart, culturally grounded women talk frankly about family, work, food, self-discovery, and parenting, all with humor and insight. Padma Lakshmi’s stories — about her trajectory from modeling to writing to Emmy-nominated host, the legacy of her grandparents, and her realistic take on raising a modern teen — are both inspiring and delightfully accessible. The practical advice on creativity and dating, combined with vivid moments about food, family, and the ongoing challenge of maintaining one’s roots, make this conversation both nourishing and fun.

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Padma's new cookbook, 'Padma’s All American', is out now.

Transcript

[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

In many ways, I'd like to try to make the world a better place. That's what this podcast is about. I'm just kidding. It just sounds nice, but. But you know the whole premise. Thanks, dad. It's manners. It's polite. How can we be better to one another? How can we feel more connected? Here's how. I would like to abolish handshakes. I think we need to abolish them expeditiously. Shit. Expeditiously. No, keep that in. I'm imperfect. Expeditiously immediately. Abolish handshakes. I can't speak. Abolish handshakes immediately. Yeah, you know, I'm getting some cheers. Quiet cheers on the side of the. Of the sides of the room. You can't see they're happy about it. I'm getting some snaps. I'm getting some quiet these because. Yeah. Why are we still shaking hands post Covid? I had no issue with them before COVID handshakes. I was like, yeah, go for it. But now I'm like, why are we doing this? Yes. Because now I'm hyper aware of germs potentially, which is a problem, and I should get over it. I know, but we don't have to touch. We could also just make intense eye contact upon meeting and go, hello, James. It's nice to meet you. It really, really is. My name is Ego. Yeah, nice to meet you. Why do I have to touch your hand to my hand? For us to feel connected. Mind you, I'm a big hugger. Love a hug. I love a hug. I do go for. So I think the handshake thing maybe isn't totally about germs. It just feels like. I feel like a handshake is potentially grosser than a hug. It is now. If it's a weird hug, that's a different conversation. Those aren't the kinds of hugs I'm talking about today. Okay. The. Where my hug crew at. Abolish them as well. All right, Send them to jail. But societal jail, which is just jail. Right. Anyway, I don't think we need to be shaking hands, and I'm really sorry. And I love meeting new people. I try to be warm when I meet new people, but there's. When it happens now, I'm kind of like, why are we doing this? Why is my hand in your hand. Why is it. Why am I feeling the sweat of your hand? I don't know how frequently you wash your hands. I wash mine, actually. A good amount. A good amount. A really good amount. I'm talking maybe too much. But I also carry lotion on me. Guys, wink. For the people who don't like lotion, you should really start lotioning. I can't recommend it enough. And there's various kinds. I'm kind of going off on a tangent here. But it's all connected. You see, everyone's following. They're not in the room, but I know you at home. Oh, you're following. All right. Handshakes. Do away with them. 20, 26. What if we laid them to rest? I see no need. Eye contact. Someone recommended a bow. Love it. Air kisses. Hugs. I still like hugs. But we don't have to shake hands. Anyway, today I'm talking to Padma Lakshmi. It's going to be really good. I believe, I hope, I pray. Will I shake her hand when she gets in here? No, I won't. And that's partially because I know Padma already. But take a listen. I bet this is going to be a good one.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Did you stay long at that Cartier interview?

[Ego Wodem]

I. Padma. I tucked away.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Very quietly into the night.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I understand.

[Ego Wodem]

I thought I said to a weekend ago, here's our chance. Let's get out of here. I love to leave place. I was like, invite me if I come. Chances are I'm plotting my escape prematurely. But how was it at the end?

[Padma Lakshmi]

It was fine. We stayed until dessert was served. But I, you know, I was sitting between some really nice people, some Cartier people.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And so I stayed also. I had. They had just featured me in the magazine, so I couldn't.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, you had to stay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I had to stay. But it was nice. That room was beautiful. But then I just dipped out like I wanted to get home for Krishna. Also, it was a weeknight.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So right when they took the plates away and got dessert out, I was like, hey, Chow.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Did you have dessert?

[Padma Lakshmi]

No.

[Ego Wodem]

No. You skipped it. Do you generally skip dessert as a lifestyle?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

You do? Yes. I love dessert. Do you not have a sweet tooth?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I don't really.

[Ego Wodem]

I am fascinated by people who don't have a sweet tooth. Someone told me it's because your sweet tooth, or the absence of it, is a function of whether your mom had a lot of sugar while she was pregnant with your you. But everyone loves to blame everything on the women.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That's true.

[Ego Wodem]

Anyway, I think it's just an illness that I like sugar as much as I do.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I think I just grew up, you know, in an Indian home, and we don't serve something sweet after every meal. So I don't have the practice of it. And so it saved me.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I do plenty of other stuff, but.

[Ego Wodem]

You'Re like, other things that I didn't grow up with. Also, me eating out as much as I do is not very Nigerian of me. My mom was very much a. There's food at home.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Right.

[Ego Wodem]

There's food here and also at home. You know what we're putting in it.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Exactly. She's right.

[Ego Wodem]

She's so right. But I still eat out all the time.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, if you're single and you don't have kids, it's.

[Ego Wodem]

Who said I'm single?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, are you? I'm just kidding.

[Ego Wodem]

I'll never tell. But.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well. But if you live just, you know, if you live alone, then it's sometimes not even worth the dishes. Like, when I.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Lived alone, I would just make one thing, but I would make a lot of it. And I would eat off that for four or five days, and then I would kind of cook something again.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. You know, I stopped cooking for myself as frequently because it's just so much effort for one person. Like you're saying when you live alone, it's like, I'm gonna do all of this, make all this mess just to eat very clean, have to clean it up. So all the prep and all the cleanup took more time than my actual enjoyment of the meal. And so I try, but I'm trying to. I'm trying to eat more at home now. I'm trying.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, do what I was doing. Like, try to cook one dish that you really love, like some kind of Nigerian stew that your mom is going to give you a recipe for from your childhood that you really love. And then, you know, stews actually get better the next day.

[Ego Wodem]

I know. Well, you know, what I. My go to and especially during COVID was jollof rice. And I make a big pot of jollof rice, and I make a good jollof rice. And I want to be very clear, distinctly, because, you know, there's a little beef. Not in the rice. You could put beef in the rice. But I mean, there is some beef between the Ghanaians and the Nigerians.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, I know. And the Senegalese.

[Ego Wodem]

And the Senegalese as to who has the best jollof rice, and it is the Nigerians. Sorry, I've had a Ghanaian tell me. And that one Ghanaian speaks for all Ghanaians when she says Nigerians have the best jollof rice.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, good. Well, Nigerians have the party Jollof too, right? They have the char on the bottom. I learned how to make that with some Nigerians who taught me very well. But the recipe for jollof rice in this new cookbook is actually from my friend Precious.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Precious is an artist here in New York and they grew up in. No, they grew up in Ohio.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And they put things like sun dried tomatoes and a little bit of dashi.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And I was like, that doesn't sound very Nigerian. Call me crazy, I'm not an expert. But she goes, no, they aren't. But you know, we do in my neck of the woods.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I was like, fine, you're taking the heat for that.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Yes. And you put. Put Precious on blast. This was a Precious thing, not a Padma thing.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, but it's delicious. I make it all the time.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, I'll have to try. My problem is that when I'm make jollof rice and I was doing it during COVID I and I told my mom this on Sunday. I was like, I just can't have one serving. I can't have just nobody can. I keep eating because I'm like the whole. So have you ever had a meal you love so much where you're like, you want more of that? When you make it at home, there's so much more of it at your disposal and my ass will go right for it. I can be full and be like, but it's right there. And that was delicious, so.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Or like a fried egg on top.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, well, see, here's my thing about fried egg.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You don't like it.

[Ego Wodem]

I like it, but it needs to be over hard. Oh, I do not want to run a yolk at all.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Not even a jammy one?

[Ego Wodem]

Not even a jammy. I just got into a jammy egg. Wait, Padma, we have to pick this up in 30 seconds because I need to do your intro.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, yeah. Okay, go ahead.

[Ego Wodem]

And I'm giving Kevin hell. Or maybe that was a cold open, I don't know. Okay, I'm going to read your intro because your resume is resuming.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, thank you.

[Ego Wodem]

It is. What doesn't Padma do? Okay, my next guest. I was going to make a joke about Havar. I've been talking to you this whole time. My next guest is an Emmy nominated food expert, television producer and New York Times best selling author. She's the creator of the critically acclaimed Hulu series Taste the Nation and served as host and executive producer of Bravo's Top Chef. It's Padma Lakshmi. Hello. As though we haven't been deep in conversation.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I know. Well, that will be your cold opening.

[Ego Wodem]

It'll be my cold open.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Really long cold open.

[Ego Wodem]

But I don't know how to do portions. I don't have. Portion control is my main problem.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, neither do I, which is what we were talking about. I don't either. That's why I try to keep good food near me. And as soon as my daughter leaves for college, I'm getting rid of all the trash in our pantry, all the processed foods, all the, you know, cookies and cheese puffs. All that stuff going away.

[Ego Wodem]

Did you ever try to make her eat healthy? Like, I used to babysit kids who were straight organic.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, I mean, I. You know, I also live in the real world, but.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, okay. Welcome to those other parents.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But no, I. She would eat anything I gave her. She was a great eater until she started going to preschool. And then all of a sudden, she started asking for chicken nuggets, and I was like, chicken what?

[Ego Wodem]

I didn't teach you that at preschool.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But she used to eat uni when she was 2. She loves steamed fish. She would eat anything. Of course, the only thing she still loves is caviar. Go figure it out.

[Ego Wodem]

Of course she does.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But, I mean, she's a pretty. Pretty good eater, and she likes to cook, and she's very sophisticated. You know, she grew up on the set of Top Chef. She's traveled all over. She's gone to Paris every spring break with me for, like, six years in a row. She had the audacity to say, mom, I'm sick of Paris. Shut your mouth.

[Ego Wodem]

What a life. Tell her. Don't say that to anyone.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I told her. I'm like, shut your mouth right now.

[Ego Wodem]

But we put her on blast here. How old is she now?

[Padma Lakshmi]

She's gonna be 16 very soon.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, my gosh. And I remember her on Instagram as little Hands. That's still what? Like, I. I still. In my mind, I'm like, she's little hands.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, she's still that little.

[Ego Wodem]

She is, but she's grown.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, she's not that little anymore. She's still little hands with big claws. Because now she's into those fake nails with all the stuff hanging off of it. I'm like, how do you do your homework? She's like, I just manage.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Or I don't. I don't. But my nails, though.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. Yeah. Aren't they cool?

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, man. That's amazing. The caviar on nuggets. I have to say taste because I love the caviar nuggets at Coco Duck. Have she had those?

[Padma Lakshmi]

We've been to Cocoa Duck. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you not impressed? I mean, it's caviar on fried chicken.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Like. Okay.

[Ego Wodem]

Someone sent me a DM that I. A hair stylist that I know in response to my posting the nuggets with caviar on them. He was like, those McDonald McNuggets with caviar. What do you said? McDonald McNuggets dressed in caviar. And I thought that is actually accurate.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. Hi, Low baby.

[Ego Wodem]

But. But it's good. They're so good. I find them to be so good. But I know it's maybe obnoxious to some people.

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's not obnoxious to me. But I mean, I prefer like, I prefer potato chips with sour cream.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And caviar because then you get the creaminess and you get a little crunch and then you get the pop. I also like wasabi caviar, which is delicious. You can get it at Russ and Daughters downtown.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's really good and it's beautiful. Just put on like some sushi or fish or whatever.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. I'm adding it to my shopping list when I finally go to the grocery store.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

But before we get further down the line on our food speak.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Because I feel like you and I could go forever talking hours, but you're the actual expert. My whole thing is that I'm just. I'm out here eating people's cooking.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That's fine.

[Ego Wodem]

What are you. What do you want to say? Thank you to who? What?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I would like to say thank you to my grandparents.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

My mom divorced my biological dad, who I never knew, and she came to America when I was 2. I didn't see either of my parents from the ages. Yeah, I didn't see either of my parents from age 2 to 4. And I joined her when I was 4 here in New York. But I was still sent to India every summer for three months. And I studied third grade and fourth grade there. And my grandparents were huge influences on my life. My grandfather loved books. He was one of the most well read people I've ever met in my life. And my grandmother loved cooking and she was a great cook. She wasn't a cuddly grandma. She was a very practical grandma. But she taught me how to cook and she taught me about life through cooking. And so it's no, it's no surprise now Looking back at my life, what I do for a living, because I write cook books, which I am a direct product of both my grandparents love and influence.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, so thanks to your grandparents. That is incredible.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Which one did you lean into more initially? Were you, like, fascinated by food or reading more when you were younger?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Reading, reading. But I became a really good cook even in high school, and I would cook for my high school friends, but I really never understood that there was the career as a food writer. You know, I did see cookbooks, and in college, I started buying cookbooks and stuff. But I didn't. I didn't grow up going to restaurants. You know, my mom. My parents were like, yours, like, why you gotta go out? We went out once a month to pizza, and then once a month to maybe like, Thai or Chinese. And that was it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, right, right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, so I didn't know that there was this career, you know, in food, like being a chef. I mean, I saw the Swedish Chef on Sesame street, but, like, that did not look, you know, I didn't want to aspire to that, but so I kind of fell into food as a profession. But I was. And I'm a slow reader. I'm a very slow reader. But I do love to read. And I was also an American lit and theater major in college. So there's a lot of reading, you know.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So I was always better at literature than chemistry.

[Ego Wodem]

Right. I mean, me too. And I was a biology major. I was a science major.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Really?

[Ego Wodem]

I was a science major. And it was. I don't know. I mean, I know how I ended up in that major. It's a.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Because they wanted you to have a.

[Ego Wodem]

Skill, doctor, and you have a skill. Right. But I was like, this is my maybe worst subject in high school, so how is this now my major?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And who let me do this on the academic side? But I love hearing you say that you were big in reading and didn't quite understand that there was a career in food or writing cookbooks. What. How did you. What. What. What did you want to be initially, in your mind?

[Padma Lakshmi]

An actor. And I, you know, after college, I modeled to pay off my college. And, you know, I was auditioning for parts. I was still doing the occasional modeling job. And I wrote my first article for Vogue about my scar. And then I was asked to write another column for Vogue. And then I had a style column in Harper's Bazaar. And then I had a syndicated column in the New York Times about food and fashion and film. And so I was getting all this Writing work, and I was piecing together a living by acting, by writing, by doing, you know, still, again, the occasional modeling gig. So, like, none of. Not. None of one of those things were enough to make a living for me.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So I had to do all I was hustling and I didn't know which one would take off.

[Ego Wodem]

Right. You know, and then it ended up being.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Being this. Being the food writing. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Did that feel exciting to you or in any way, like a discipline appointment?

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I always saw the food stuff, like, whether it was cookbook writing or hosting. You know, I hosted a documentary called Planet Food before Top Chef, and I had a show called Padma's Passport on the Food Network also before then. And I liked it and it was fine. And I think the reason I was good at it is because I didn't care so much.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, and so that was like my version of waitressing while waiting for the big acting gig.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And then I just became really successful at it. And so, you know, sometimes you gotta push through the open door.

[Ego Wodem]

Right. And. And life presents you things that are not what you expect, but end up being the very thing that leads you to what you're meant to do. Exactly how it unfolds, I feel.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. I mean, and it's weird now because I haven't acted in probably 20 years. Last.

[Ego Wodem]

Excuse me, you were on SNL.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes. That's true, that's true. And I have been doing improv and stuff, but. Yeah, but, like, you know, I really haven't been on film or anything in 20 years. But, like, recently there have been three different projects that people have offered me, you know, independent film or whatever, to act in, to star. And I'm like, are you sure?

[Ego Wodem]

You know, I mean, don't get in your own way.

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, I'm not going to. I'm not going to. But, you know, it's just shocking. So opportunities are coming to me now that I would have killed for 20 years ago. And if it works out, I would still love to do it, you know, how great would that be to finally scratch it itch after so many years. But I'm also really thankful for the career I do have. I know I've been very fortunate. And, you know, I get to sit around. I get to sit around and talk about food all day long. So I'm uniquely qualified for my job.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. Kind of dreamy. But it is crazy how after you have gone down the path you've gone down, the thing you wanted is like, sort of presenting itself in a different way all these years. That's also remarkable and feels like a gift. I. I think.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. Yeah. It just shows you, like, you never know.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it's true. True. Now, you said you were modeling also to pay your student loans. Did. How did you feel about modeling? And I asked this because I have a friend who was a model because she was scouted, and she's actually very much an academic. And not to say the two don't go hand in hand, because I feel like I know so many models who are intellects and academics. How did you feel about modeling when. When you were doing it? Was it like sort of eye roll, this is just to pay the bills, or did you recognize, like, this is kind of huge because some people would kill to be a model?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I think it was both.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I started modeling my last semester of college in Spain because I was studying abroad. I was bored with college, and I just. Most people go to study abroad in their junior year. I went last semester of senior.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, great. Did you walk for graduation?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes, I came back and I did walk with graduation. So I started modeling there. And at first I was like, I don't want to model. I don't want to ruin my gpa. And then they were like, you can make this much money? I'm like, that's more money than I think in a month. So, yes, I will do that. And, you know, I only went to school from 9 to 1, and I would do call, you know, like what you call it, callbacks or, you know, auditions or go sees after. And I had a friend of mine who had graduated the previous year who was Spanish, and he encouraged me to do it because he just wanted to meet other models. And so, you know, Santiago was like, no, you must go in the car. He's like, I'll drive you. Come, I'll go with you.

[Ego Wodem]

I'll drive you in, escort you in.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And I was literally, you know, sitting in some bar with Santiago when a friend of his who was a booker at a modeling agent saw me. And then I said, you know, but I have this big, giant scar on my arm. And they're like, so. And it was the first time that somebody didn't care. And I modeled in Spain, came back and walked, had this useless piece of paper that said I had a bachelor's degree in theater and American lit, which qualified me to do exactly nothing.

[Ego Wodem]

Nothing.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Where is your diploma right now? Do you know? I don't know where mine is. Legitimately.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I legitimately don't Know it's so expensive.

[Ego Wodem]

But we just like throw it somewhere.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I'm sure my mom has it somewhere.

[Ego Wodem]

Frame.

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's a very. I don't think so, but she has. You know, that was very costly piece of paper. You're right.

[Ego Wodem]

It's so expensive and we don't know where we keep them. Like unless you have an office space and you frame it and put it on the wall. I like legit. Don't know where my diploma is. And it was so expensive.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, yeah, no, I hear you. I mean, I had my old university recently call me and ask me for a donation. I'm like, excuse me, you owe me money. Yeah, exactly. You know, like I did not get enough of an education for you to be calling me right now.

[Ego Wodem]

But they know that name and they're like, oh, Padma, she's got a little extra to give up.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. I'm gonna give it to somebody else.

[Ego Wodem]

It is crazy because when they do call and ask for money from your college, cause you're like, I gave you, I already gave you money. I gave you money before and it was really expensive. And I also had student loans. So I'm like, I had to go in debt to give you money.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Exactly.

[Ego Wodem]

And now you're asking me for more money just cause it's great. I do think that's crazy.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I don't, you know, I don't understand exactly why education is so expensive. But I think it has to do mostly as a reflection of. We don't care about our children in society.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, we might care about our own, but we don't care about other people's children as our own. And in the end they're all our children, you know, and that's really demoralizing. But I mean, other countries you don't. You do have free education. It's just this country, right?

[Ego Wodem]

And health care. We take care of our people. We take care.

[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

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[Padma Lakshmi]

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[Ego Wodem]

Speaking of taking care and other people's children really being all of our responsibility, did you know for yourself that you wanted to have a child?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I knew I wanted to be a mother, but I never knew it would be so fun.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I really didn't. And I think it's been interesting to relive the world and my impression of it through her eyes. And it's also interesting to raise a child that doesn't have the same skin color as you.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I talk about this a lot in stand up. It's funny because, like, you know, basically I gave birth to a white girl. Like, you know, I mean, if you. If you look at her and you look at me and we're standing next to each other, you can tell that we're related. She's just a white version of me. But, you know, when she was little and I would take her to the Playscape, all the.

[Ego Wodem]

You were getting mistaken for the nanny.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Totally. Which was fine because they had the better jokes. They had, you know, they had the better snacks, certainly. So I was okay with that. But then you realize, like, she's gonna have different issues and problems. You know, she's very privileged in a way that I wasn't even. Besides her skin color. But she's brown on the inside. You could tell she's brown when she dances.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. There we go.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That's the same way. Yeah. You come to Diwali, you know, that girl is Indian, so she shakes her butt. She's Indian.

[Ego Wodem]

That's an Indian girl.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

The giveaway. That's when I start asking people, can I see you dance real fast?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ego Wodem]

Excuse me. And that's how we tell. Now, you said you didn't grow up as privileged as she is.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Not at all.

[Ego Wodem]

And I imagine then that lent itself for you to some life lessons and for specific values to be instilled in you as a child. How do you go about instilling those values in your daughter now, given the context of her upbringing is totally different?

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's very difficult.

[Ego Wodem]

I imagine it would be.

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's really, really hard because, I mean, it's also a different time in General. You know, I didn't grow up with a phone. We didn't have the Internet. I can still barely use the Internet. Just ask anyone around me. But also, like, you know, she. She's growing up in her society, which is not my society. I had way more freedom than she did. My mother did not know where I was, really. From 8am to 7pm she didn't because she was at work. And I could have been at school and I could have been somewhere else.

[Ego Wodem]

Where were you?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I was mostly in school.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But then, you know, I would go to the park after school. There was no. You know, I had incredible freedom. But my mom was a 70s parent. You know, we didn't have that many rules. And I came out okay. But I think. Thank you. But, you know, she. I have. I have her location at all times on my phone because she's always on her phone.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And this just different. But, like, I wanted to take the subway, but she takes Uber. You know, her father has loaded Uber teen on her phone. And I'm like, she's a New York City kid. She needs to do that. That. Then he's like, you don't want her on the subway? I'm like, yes, I do. She take the bus. You know, so that's a struggle. That kind of stuff is a struggle. And the food is hard too, because now that she has Uber, she can also get Uber eats. And that is the thing that pisses me off the most.

[Ego Wodem]

Why?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Because I take the time to cook her a dinner. You know, I make soondubu because she likes this Korean dish. And I'm like, okay, we're having that for dinner. And she goes, it's okay, Mom. I just ordered Taco Bell. And it infuriates me.

[Ego Wodem]

What is she doing?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I don't know. There's no accounting for taste. But, like, you know, she. But I also want her to be a normal teenager. I don't want to restrict her food. I want her body to learn how to process all kinds of things. Like, I don't eat a lot of meat because I didn't grow up with it. So I really can't process that very well. But, you know, she can because she. She has steak with her dad or whatever. So I want her to eat normally, eat a lot of different foods. We open to them. But I. I just. The fast food really pisses me off because it's not good for her.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, and she just wants to be like her friends.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, this didn't happen until she went to School, like I said. Yeah, but she's a good kid. I mean, she's very well behaved and she's very ambitious. I'm lucky. You know, she wants to do well for herself. I, I think she does feel the pressure of being my daughter. And so she does not want just to be known as my daughter. She wants to make her own way. She, you know, she goes to a specialized high school, which she fought her way into. She had to get in. She had to do a whole bunch of stuff and audition and go, go to callbacks. And she did that by herself. I mean, I helped, I coached her, but she's doing great and, and she loves her school and she really has big plans for herself. So, you know, is she gonna clean up her room? No, until I say it the 18th time.

[Ego Wodem]

But that's very normal teen.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That's what they tell me. That's normal for American teens.

[Ego Wodem]

I know.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That is normal for American children. That's true.

[Ego Wodem]

That's true. You know, my mom was working so much that I could. She would have to tell me several times. And if anyone, I mean, I was just. If anyone told me to clean my room and I was going to do it, I'd be like, oh, see, I was gonna do it.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And then she was like, now that.

[Ego Wodem]

You said, I can' it today, I got to do it tomorrow.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, you and Krishna, you guys are.

[Ego Wodem]

See, I heard every plan of it today, but now you just said something is going to have to do it tomorrow.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But did you have. I have a question for you. Did you have code switching going on? Like, was your mom like a Nigerian, like a Niger mom?

[Ego Wodem]

Or was like, okay, can you ask, articulate this a different way for me? Because I'm like, yeah, how would you ask this a different.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Did she not let you do things that your peers, parents would let them do, like sleepovers?

[Ego Wodem]

So she would let me have us go. We never hosted a sleepover, I don't think. I think maybe some of my sister's friends slept over, but she would let me go to sleepovers. But I will say that at the door, she'd, like, drop me off and then see what's happening in this family's home. And she'd say to me once I came home, you're never going over there again.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

And. But I know that it was. She was never excited about me going to a sleepover, except for with white light, one best friend who lived two houses down the street from us. But, like, so she wasn't as strict, I think partially because she was working so much and then she wanted to try to be a little lax. There's so much on her plate. But there were moments where it's like, yeah, we're not. You're not really sleeping over at kids houses. Were you allowed to sleep over?

[Padma Lakshmi]

No. Yeah, no. And Krishna wasn't either. My daughter wasn't allowed to sleep over. Now she is with very few select people where I know the parents and stuff. But my attitude was like, if you want to sleep away from home, you should get into college.

[Ego Wodem]

You know, that's scary.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Brown folk do not let their children sleep away. I barely let her sleep at her dad's house.

[Ego Wodem]

You're like, I don't know that man anymore.

[Padma Lakshmi]

No. Now she spends half her time there because she's older. But I mean, you know, I don't, I'm not into it at all. And I think I've just, you know, I'm afraid of what happened, what can happen, what, you know, happens to me. And like, so it's tough, you know, but at the end of the day, I have to equip her with the ability to think critically and avoid those situations or know how, give her the weapons and the language to handle those situations early on, like people, you know. When I first sent her to preschool in an age appropriate way, I did say to her, if anybody touches you or makes you touch them, I don't care if it's a principal, a doctor, policeman, somebody who's related to us, somebody who's a friend, anybody, you have the right to your own body. Nobody should touch you and nobody should make you do something. You just yell, yell, run and tell.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And so I gave her that language because so many times when it happens to you, you're just a deer in the headlights. You're just so shocked you don't know what to do. So just giving that child a game plan, you know, look like this is a plan. If I feel uncomfortable, if somebody makes me touch their privates, somebody gets too close to me, touches my privates, I say no really loud and then I run and then I tell somebody I trust or no, who's safe.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it's. I mean, that's brilliant because you, like you said, you can only protect them to a certain point. And the thing I think you're supposed to do, though I'm not a parent as a parent, is to give them the tools and equip them to be able to navigate the world on their own, because they're not going be under your watch 24,7 it simply won't. And so if you give them the tools to navigate situations like that, navigate other situations that life might present them, I think that is a huge part of the job there. Because as much as you want to be protective, it's important that they know how to be on their own. And that's the nice part about college, I will say, especially if you get to go away or live on campus, is like sorting out how to be on your own. And with.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, it's a nice middle ground between adulthood and living with your folks.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I went to college 3,000 miles away and I knew I wasn't gonna be homesick, but it was interesting because I still, because I was a pretty independent young person, but I still found myself homesick because it was like culture shock, Baltimore to la.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, that's a good thing.

[Ego Wodem]

I was like, wait, what is this? What is. Who are these people? What's happening? How does it work this way? Why does everybody have a Benz? You're 18.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, I know. Yeah, that happened to me too. I mean, I went from La Puente in California to Massachusetts and I saw all these people with Cartiers and Rolexes in my, you know, in my women's studies class. And I was like, oh, yeah, okay. Different. Yeah, different.

[Ego Wodem]

You also said that your daughter wants to make it on her own and, you know, is aware that she is your daughter and people know her as such. At what point, because I often wonder this with people who are well known, are famous, at what point did your daughter become aware that, like, oh, mommy's famous.

[Padma Lakshmi]

She did, because they would follow us when I walked her to school.

[Ego Wodem]

How old?

[Padma Lakshmi]

When she was like five or four, I used to walk, you know, she used to go to a school that was just four or five blocks from our house. She went to Little Red, you know, in the Village, and I live in that area. And I would walk with her and they would paparazzi us. And it got bad enough that I had a key, like the teachers had to a side entrance of the school that we would enter because they would be waiting outside her school. I mean, it's not as bad now, but in the days when it was bad, you know, that's what they did. And so she knew. And then she also knew, like, we would be, you know, at like an open air market or something, or flea market, you know, and people would come up and ask for pictures and she.

[Ego Wodem]

Would say, no, your little protector, she would just irritate it. But like pictures, no pictures of me.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And then I never put her in the pictures, but like you can do a basic Google search of her name and there are like thousands of pictures that come up and you can see her, you can see her as a four year old, you can see her as a six year old. You know, you can see it. And now she's more comfortable with it. And also she feels good also, like, you know, she now understands because she also wants to be a performer. That is part of the gig. But when she was young, she was really irritated by it and understandably so. But now she gets it and she's like, let me just take the picture. Because then it's fast and that's it. She gives the phone back and we're done.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes, in and out.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But it really irritated her. And sometimes she like, I'll feel like taking a walk around the neighborhood and she'll say no because she doesn't want to walk with me. With me. Because then it means she has to worry about what she looks like. And she's a teenage girl and you know, she doesn't want to always. I get it. I don't always want to worry about myself.

[Ego Wodem]

Let me tell you about walking in my neighborhood. Someone followed me the other day and I was like, that's crazy because you're following me and we're not having a pleasant interaction. I know you're following me. You now know I know you're following me. And how do you think this interaction ends? I stop for a picture with you. Like, you caught me. Let's get a picture. I mean, some of these problems after.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I see my mother can take a faster picture than me them. It's like, what's taking you so long? You got the picture. Leave now.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, yeah. And I, I find that not to be like, whoa, is me. But I'm always like, how do you think this interaction is going to end? This is not pleasant because there are times like I just want to walk my dog. And you know, a therapist will tell you, go on a walk, get some air. And I'm like, it's not that simple.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, well, I mean, I, I always, I'm in a hoodie when I, I know how to try to be, you.

[Ego Wodem]

Know, how do you do it? Can you tell me, please?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I walk like a little bit, like looking down rather than forward.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I look at the road, I put my hood up.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And I walk. Like, I don't have time to stop. I'm not looking around.

[Ego Wodem]

I've had people stop me in my tracks when I'm walking maybe 80 miles per hour and could barrel right through them and stop me. Somebody touched me two weeks ago in soho and I was like, what? I'm being touched.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I know. Don't touch me.

[Ego Wodem]

I mean, touched. I know. Don't touch me.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, you, you know, I mean, SNL is such a prominent show and it's on network and then see all the clips and stuff. So you are out there in a way that I don't think I have been, you know. So it's different for you?

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, I think so. And maybe because I do comedy, people are like, oh, but she's silly. And she's always gonna want. She's fun. And I'm like. Sometimes I'm like, cry. Crying in my hoodie.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Walking in my neighborhood, just trying to get some air to feel any other emotion. And it's like, oh, the girl from. Okay, but I'm gonna hunch. Shoulder, hood up. Are we going sunglasses or.

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, sunglasses. Yes, sunglasses, Sunglasses. Sunglasses. Do all the things. Hoodie, baseball cap, sunglasses.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And just walk, I'm telling you, like, walk like you're angry. And look down, look down, look down. And like you're looking for something. Like you're kind of crazy.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, maybe it's that I need to be giving crazy.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Just like, look around. Mutter to yourself, I should have a metal.

[Ego Wodem]

A metal detector too, maybe just. Yeah, sure, this person's fucking nuts. Yeah, metal detector on a New York sidewalk. I think that's gonna. The vibe 2026. If you see me like that out here. No, you didn't. That's the whole point. Okay?

[Padma Lakshmi]

And also, I know how to be invisible. Like, I just go out without makeup.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I mean, people will still recognize me, you know, when I go to the grocery store, stop by, whatever. But, you know, people are usually casual. They want. I never say no to young women when they want a picture. And I, you know, I'm. I live near nyu, so it's hard, but I. I don't always want to stop because I always. I don't want to be seen.

[Ego Wodem]

Sometimes you don't want to be perceived. That's what I say about my walk sometimes. Sometimes I literally just want to be. Like an invisible number. Yeah, like an invisible number. Just getting air right now for myself.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But these are high class problems to.

[Ego Wodem]

Have a thousand percent. And sometimes I think about renaming this podcast First World Problems. What do you think?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I'm sure you could do it.

[Ego Wodem]

Maybe. Maybe someone else already has that. I'm sure someone else has already.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Probably.

[Ego Wodem]

But also all of the problems are not first world in that. Most of the people in the podcast, I feel like, have had interesting upbringings, and. Which is why I have the podcast, because it's fun to hear from people about what their upbringings were like.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

What of your parents, besides the values you're trying to instill in your daughter now, do you emulate in terms of how you raise her? So, like, no sleepovers?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I do. I think most of the Indian part of me is my parenting.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Like, I'm pretty Americanized, you know, I've gone to school my whole life, mostly here, and I'm just as American or feel just as American as any other kid. But because I was raised by Indian people in a certain way. Krishna will never step on a book. If she steps on a book, she stops, she touches the book with her hand, and then she touches her eyes with that same hand to pay respect to the book.

[Ego Wodem]

I don't know about this.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That's very Indian, because we think of books and literature as something sacred. So if she'd been studying on the floor, I was lying with a pillow and reading, and she happened to step on it by mistake. She will do that. Like, I've seen her do that without me telling her, because she knows now.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

She will not go into our house with shoes on.

[Ego Wodem]

Really. Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Unless she's, like, really in a rush and I'm not looking. But she, you know, she respects that.

[Ego Wodem]

Which is something I just adopted when I moved to New York City.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, come on. Yeah, I know, but you should have.

[Ego Wodem]

My dog's paws are also getting wiped because.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, we wipe. Yeah, we wipe casinos. Yeah, we have. We have doggy wet wipes. Like, right at the table.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, right there.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Come in. You put your keys on that. You take the leash off, and you get the thing and you sit and you wipe all her paws.

[Ego Wodem]

He knows the drill. He doesn't even try to walk past the entry because he's like, I gotta get my paws wiped. And it's like, yes, you do. But it wasn't till New York I started honoring the shoes off thing. I would honor it in someone else's home, but in my house, I'd be like, yeah, I'm in my car. I lived in LA for so long.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm like. But still, even in LA or anywhere else, I'm like, actually, a good look to do anyway.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So things like that, calling your elders, Auntie, like, you know, her father's friends, they're like Bob and. And Jane, you know, but my Friends. It would be like Aunt Premie, Uncle Vichy.

[Ego Wodem]

Very Nigerian also.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, yeah. Not calling an elder by their first name. No, sir.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. If you had a sibling in Indian culture who's like, like 20 years older than you, for some, let's say like 15 years older than you, would you call that sibling by their name or would they also become auntie?

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, they wouldn't be auntie and uncle, but they have a name in Tamil, like you. You. There's a name for older sister and a name for younger sister, older brother and younger brother. So our. Our names for relatives are super specific, except for auntie and uncle. That seems to be thrown around.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, yes, yes, same. Everyone's. Everyone's an auntie.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But, like, you can tell, like, even when you're saying an aunt, actual uncle, in Tamil, at least the sister of my father has a different name than the sister of my mother.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And if the sister of my mother is older than her, she's a petima. Peri means big, and ma is ma. So it's like big mother. And if. If the sister of my mother is younger, then it's a chitti. Like you heard Kamala Harris say to all my chittis out there, because she had a lot of aunts that were younger to her mom. So that part is really specific, and that's very Indian. You know, Krishna just knows, like, to, like, have certain respect for people. She. She will pray when she's scared.

[Ego Wodem]

You know.

[Padma Lakshmi]

She got a big exam or she wants a part she's auditioning for in the school play, stuff like that. And, you know, she had six years of Sanskrit singing, so it was like, you know, Carnatic vocal training and stuff. Now she doesn't do it, but she still does music. So she's Indian when she wants to be. She's most Indian when she stamps her foot about wanting what she wants at Diwali. As you know, Diwali is a big, big deal at our house.

[Ego Wodem]

I've been to Padmas Diwali. It's a vibe. We went. It was me, Punky Heidi, after an SNL episode.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I know you guys were exhausted, looking rough.

[Ego Wodem]

Everyone and all of your guests, you, Your daughter looking dressed to the nines put together. Absolutely.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I was just happy you came.

[Ego Wodem]

Thank you. It was lovely.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I know that schedule.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And it's brutal. So the fact that you even showed up on a Sunday was a win.

[Ego Wodem]

I. We really wanted to be there, and I'm so glad we were there, but I just. That's a. That is a Special memory for me. And the fact that we did all roll up and we're like, we are tired, but we're here and we're feeling good.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But, you know. Yeah, all my older relatives do the same thing. They just sit around. So you guys fit in.

[Ego Wodem]

I actually think I was sitting with one of your older relatives for the majority of the time. Against the wall there.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, probably. And we were having a nice long conversation. It was very nice. Thank you for having us. Now, what is there about American parenting style versus Indian parenting styles that made you want to emulate Indian parenting styles? Given you're like, I'm very American. Otherwise, what made you want to cling to Indian parenting as a style?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, it's mostly about the respect issue, you know, which is a battle I'm losing every day. But, you know, it was that. It was like, sometimes you just have to do it. It's also, you know, we are much more focused on keeping a very close connection with our extended family. And sometimes she's like, I'm bored, I don't want to go. And I'm like, sorry, it's not negative, negotiable. Like, I'm not asking you. You don't get to decide. Yeah, no, we're not going to this. Or yes, you're just coming. Yeah, yeah, you know, yeah, I'm sorry. These are your family. You're stuck with us. Yeah, you know, just like a club foot. We ain't going nowhere. So that's, that's one thing. But also, like, I, I am lax about things that American parents are very strict about. For instance, I don't really have a bedtime for her.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, okay, say more. Because my friend's sister and I don't want to put her on Blessed, but if she listens, she'll know I'm talking. Her 8 year old is on like a Tuesday night, awake at midnight. And that's crazy to me. I don't have kids. And then one time I was over their house on a Sunday. I was about to give specifics, say the city there, but I was at their house on a Sunday. And at that time, the 8 year old was 6 and it was Sunday at 10pm and I was like, I would have had to be in bed at three this time. And they were like kind of just chilling right before school night. And I was like, what's happening? Why are they awake?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I mean, I figure she'll get tired eventually and go to sleep and she will learn this lesson on her own. I mean, sometimes she's up because she does have homework. They give a lot of homework now. I really wish they.

[Ego Wodem]

Like my mom. My mom was like, the homework back then. My mom used to be like, why do they give you homework when you're in school all day? They're going to come home and do more school.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I mean, I. She and I would both rather she just stayed at school another 90 minutes or two hours of whatever. Come home at 6, but be done.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So, you know, I try to cut her off at like 11, like 10:30. She should be washing her face. She should be in her pajamas. If I have to, I take her phone off, but take it away from her. But, you know, she sometimes will stay up late and I'm a night owl and I think she. And so is her father, so she thinks she inherited it from us. But I'm not policing her because at a certain point, like, you have to give them autonomy. And if they get tired enough, then they do. And then there has been times when she's been exhausted and she's come home and then she's taken a nap because she's so tired. And then she gets up and now she really can't go to sleep.

[Ego Wodem]

It's 11:45.

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's a vicious cycle. But, you know, like, there's just. There's just things like that.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, like, she can't put the dog on the counter. She can't.

[Ego Wodem]

I mean, the dog shouldn't go on the counter even. But I'm gonna say even the cats.

[Padma Lakshmi]

We don't have cats because she's allergic. But she's. My dog is seven pounds.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And sometimes people will just put her on the counter because they're holding her. And I'm very not into that.

[Ego Wodem]

She was on the street. That's the thing.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, no, but we. We wipe her tongue.

[Ego Wodem]

I know, but she was still on the street, like rubbing against the side of a bit. Here's the thing. I have a dog. Probably shouldn't have a dog because I'm.

[Padma Lakshmi]

How big is your dog?

[Ego Wodem]

He's 15 pounds, maybe like 17. Now this vet called him. What did she call him? Over conditioned. Her way of saying he's overweight. Can you believe that?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, is that the euphemism?

[Ego Wodem]

And she's Australian, so it's kind of lovely how she said it. She's like, he's a bit over conditioned. And I had to be like, can you tell me in layman's terms? It's like fat. And I'm like, damn, my poor baby. And I feel like he heard it, because his whole demeanor. I feel like. I do feel like he heard that.

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, Davina is not a glutton. Like, I have to really be like, it's time to eat now, please. And she. She does. She likes taking walks, but she's an indoor dog. She's very big cat energy.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

She just wants to sit on your lap. You know, she doesn't care. She's scared of everything.

[Ego Wodem]

She.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, she was traumatized. I rescued her, and before we got her at the shelter, she was in a hoarding situation, so. So she doesn't like other dogs. She's not out to, like, you know, discover and conquer the world. She just wants to be near mommy.

[Ego Wodem]

No. Did your daughter petition you for the dog?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, my God. Yeah. She made a big poster, and she was petitioning and lobbying for years and years and years, and I am not a dog person at all. Indians don't. I mean, generally like dogs. Yeah, yeah. We're not into not in the house. Animals in the house.

[Ego Wodem]

I. Weirdly, my mom would rescue cats, and in those moments, I'm like, this is not a Nigerian woman. Like, growing up, there was a cat outside on the street, so she just had this soft spot for animals that felt so Not Nigerian in that way, where it was like, I'm gonna go bring a stray cat into our home. But, yeah. Also didn't grow up with beyond, like, 8 years old. We didn't have any pets.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. But, you know, in Covid, she's an only child, and she didn't see another child for several months. And so I really felt for her. And so I brought home this little puppy. She's not a puppy. She was grown when I brought her, and I carried her home from the shelter, and I gave her to my daughter. And then my daughter went crazy, and then loved. Loved it. But then didn't walk the dog, didn't feed the dog, and lunged at the dog. And this dog was terrified of my kid, and so, like, retreated deeper and deeper into my lap and arms. So now they have a weird sibling rivalry. It's really odd.

[Ego Wodem]

And you love your daughter more, though? Of course. Oh, it's funny.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I do. I love my daughter way more than my dog, but sometimes I like my dog better.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, that's fair.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. My dog does not talk back.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, fair. That's real. The dog is not, like, give me these snacks. Does the dog, like, unique?

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, I don't want to give her any seafood because her breath is bad enough. She just had four teeth.

[Ego Wodem]

Extracted because her teeth are messed up.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, I mean, she's older and. Yeah. I'm told small dogs have this problem. And I try to brush her teeth, but it's hard to get the toothbrush in there. Yeah, no, but I mean, my dog doesn't steal my clothes and my shoes without asking. They don't take my eyeliner and give it to their friends and don't put it back in my makeup bag.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, so. So shout out to all the dog moms. They might have it better. They might have it better right now. That's all I am for now. And I'm like, this is a lot of work, though, taking care of a dog and people don't talk about it enough. Yeah, it's actually a lot of work and effort. But now I've done it for two and a half years. I'm like, I don't. My friend likes to say he doesn't remember what life was like before he had his dog. I'm like, I do remember it being easier, but it is because you don't.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Have to come home. You don't have to think about, oh, my dog is sitting alone for six hours.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I'm going to Oxford at the end of this month, and I don't really know what I'm going to do with my dog. And I don't want to take her to England if England is hard enough.

[Ego Wodem]

Right. I'm going to Paris in a few days. And I was like, what am I going to do with my dog? And it became this whole thing where I'm like, what a gift. I get to go to Paris. Unlike your daughter, I'm not sick of it yet.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, I'm not sick of it yet. And I'm like, what a gift. But, oh, my goodness, I need to figure out the dog. I have to figure out what.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And Paris is very dog friendly.

[Ego Wodem]

I know, but you know what? It's the flight. And, like, he's so social that if a flight attendant walks by, sees him and even makes a second of eye contact with him, it's over. And he's like, I want to engage with that friend. I want them to talk to me. And I'm gonna be yappy until we have our moment. So it's this thing where I'm like, he is beautiful, but I need to keep him away from people. Otherwise he will be cbd. Yeah. Okay. Give him a little bit of.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, they have doggy cbd.

[Ego Wodem]

I've had. I gave it to him when I first got him and we were flying and he did so well. I have this crazy story, though. My dog had diarrhea on a plane.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, no. It's a nightmare.

[Ego Wodem]

It was really, really, really crazy. But I think fast. Really felt like a mom in that moment. Because I was like, okay, gonna wipe it up from the comfort of my seat with this. This thing. We're going to put this in a bag, tie it up. It was crazy, but I. But because they can't talk, I didn't. He kept trying to jump out of his crate. And I'm like, you love this thing. What's going on? And it's because he had to. I know. Poor baby was trying to tell me. That's the thing. The dog's not going to steal your clothes or your jewelry or anything. But they can't talk. They can't talk.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I'm dying to know what Davina thinks sometimes. Really? Yeah. Yeah. There's a diff. There's a definite hierarchy. Like, if I'm not there, then she'll go to my assistant. If he's not there, then she'll go to my nanny. If my nanny's not there, then she'll be like, okay, I guess I can go hang out with Krishna. But they really, like, Krishna will come up to me in bed, or she'll cuddle with me and the dog could be at the foot of my bed, but immediately she'll jump up and try to wedge her body between me and Krishna. It's. They're really. And I will snuggle with the dog and the dog won't say anything. And Krishna will do the same and she'll like, growl. It's really hysterical.

[Ego Wodem]

That is wild that they pick up on that. The energy like that. The dog.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Total sibling rivalry.

[Ego Wodem]

It truly is. So you wanted to, like, instill some of the respect that you learned in your culture into your dog.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And also the tie to our family. The family is really big for good and bad, you know, So I wanted to make sure. And I feel like in American culture, it's your immediate family and maybe your cousins if they live close by. But in Indian culture, like, everyone is your immediate family. You know, your parents, cousin is your uncle or aunt. Yes, 100%. And, you know, you gotta treat their children like your siblings. And it's all very hierarchical, but it's all really tight knit and really, really important. You know, my aunt has Diwali. We always coordinate our Diwalis. And I have to hike my butt, like two hours to Connecticut just to sit around and talk to all these old Indian people I have no interest in talking to because they're not related. They're like her colleagues from the hospital or whatever, you know, all these other doctors or psychiatrists. And I'm like, yes. Hi, Auntie. It's nice to see you. But I do it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I drive four hours to be there, two hours, because I have no choice in the matter. That's just how it is. And so if I have to suffer, she has to suffer.

[Ego Wodem]

You're like, you're gonna suffer with me. That's what we have to do.

[Padma Lakshmi]

She has to learn that this is part of life.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

This is just your duty.

[Ego Wodem]

Right.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And that's all there is to it.

[Ego Wodem]

As a member of a family. And now she's an only child. Is that accurate?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes. Other than Davina. Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

Other than the dog, how do you. Do you have any concern about her being an only child? Just given I know you are.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I'm an only child.

[Ego Wodem]

You are, too. Okay. But then you're very, very connected to. I feel like then that makes perfect sense.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Like, I'm an only child, but I have this huge extended family.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes.

[Ego Wodem]

And my cousins are like my siblings, as are my second cousins.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And also all my mother's siblings always left their children with our grandparents, too. So we did grow up like siblings. Like, my cousin Reginny lives in Connecticut, but she functions as my sister. Sure. You know, and so her two boys, who are close in age to my daughter, are the closest thing I have to son. And so if they misbehave, I will be disciplining them on the spot like they are my child.

[Ego Wodem]

And they'll listen.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, well, they'll have to.

[Ego Wodem]

You're not my mom.

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, no. I'm your petty mom.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah. There we go.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. So, you know, that's why that name is like that, you know, so that's the difference. Yeah. You know, but, you know, she fights against it, but then she also likes things, you know, likes things about it. Like, she will say, you always know where you stand with my family. And they are fiercely close, you know, so she appreciates the warmth. She appreciates the love and the closeness and all of that. So I think, you know, she is Indian in the way that counts. But whenever she goes to India, she just goes from house to house and sees old people. I have to take her to the Taj Mahal. I have to take her to Rajasthan. You know, I have to take her the inside. All these old people's houses so far. And she's been To India a lot. She's been to India like, six times.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But it's hard. It's hard raising a biracial child because the atmosphere at my house is completely different than the atmosphere in her dad's house.

[Ego Wodem]

Right. You know, does she. Does she seem to have a preference for one or the other?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, her dad lets her get away with more stuff, so, you know, he's. He's not totally permissive with her. Like, he'll get mad at her certain times when she does bad stuff, too. But, you know, he's much more. Even keeled. I wear my heart on my sleeve. If I'm mad, you'll know. I don't even have to open my mouth. You'll know by my body language. But he's very. He's able to roll with the punches of her adolescence more, but he also doesn't have it as hard as I do.

[Ego Wodem]

Sure.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But, you know, so she. She gets away with more over there. Like, you know, dad is more.

[Ego Wodem]

She.

[Padma Lakshmi]

What did she say? She said, mom, you're very impulsive.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh, wow.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And I said, that is really rich, you know, and so I said, yeah, I am. I don't even argue with her anymore. I'm like, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

So, okay, fine, I'm impulsive, but I am your mom, so.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. And.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

What you gonna do about it?

[Ego Wodem]

What are you gonna do? Yeah. Live with me half the time.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Are you concerned with being friends with her? Do you want her to see you as a friend? Does that at all concern you or matter to you?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I have to remind her that she's not my equal and she's not my friend and that I'm her mother, you know? And I will try to be more like an older sister. I understand. I was 15 once, you know, I was pushing my limits and boundaries, and I know what that's like. So I can't pretend that, you know, I can't clutch my pearls, you know? I know. And I'd rather my daughter talk to me. Me.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I'd rather she tell me. And me listen and try not to jump down her throat, which I do have to sit on my hands so I don't choke her sometimes, but because I live in America. Right?

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes. And I cannot. Yeah, I cannot do that. But, you know, for the most part, I think she has a good head on her shoulders. And if I haven't taught her to have boundaries by now, you know, she's almost 16. It's too late, you know, so she's a good girl at her core. But she, you know, like all teenagers, really pushes her boundaries.

[Ego Wodem]

Right, right. And does she talk to you about dating crushes any?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh, yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. Okay, great. Were you able to talk to anybody in your family when you had crushes besides the sibling like, sibling like figures in your life?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, I talked to my mom.

[Ego Wodem]

You did?

[Padma Lakshmi]

A lot. But, you know, then my mom stopped talking to me when I started dating a Muslim boy in college. And so I stopped talking to her because I thought it was hypocritical. And then she got over it and then I broke up with him anyway.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Not because he was Muslim, but.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it tends to go. You also, you want to be able to make your own choices at a certain point. So parents getting in the way of that. I feel like you do not. It's not. Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Then I did one better. I married a Muslim atheist.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So there you go. So she was like, oh, okay.

[Ego Wodem]

I really can't control this. She's her own person. Okay, Padma. Well, that's great. There's now time for a segment called that's Nice, but what About Me? Okay, okay, okay. So some people have told me I should write a book, which I think is not crazy, but so many people write books. And I go, does everyone have to write a book? And you understand that literature is sacred. And I kind of see it the same way. And I don't.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I swear you're talking about my eighth book.

[Ego Wodem]

But it's your eighth book and obviously you grew up with a love for literature, so I think it's different. And you have recipes to share with us and stories to tell, so that is exciting. I don't have recipes. What is the thing that you think one should have internally going on to sort of justify writing a book, if you will?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I think in order to do any piece of creative art, whether it's writing or filmmaking or, you know, composing a song or painting, any of those things that are self generated, that come from the thin air of your psyche, you need to have a. You need to have a fully formed opinion about said thing. And you also need to have a unique perspective like that. You know, when I hear about people wanting to get into writing, even just cookbooks, book, for example, and I say, well, what is your take on that? You know, but it can be anything. It can be, you know, a lot of books that start out as one thing wind up being another. Like my memoir didn't start out as a memoir. It started out, believe it or not, as a healthy eating book. And it turned into that because that's where my writing wanted to go. And so if there's something that you really care about enough, whether you're an expert or not.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

That will carry you through the writing of it. Because if you're not interested in it, neither will we be, you know, and so that, that is really it. You have to feel really strongly about something, even if it's something you're searching for, like, you know, not growing up with a father or what that's like, or what that means and how it's affected your life. Because I am convinced that it's certainly affected my life. And I'm not sure even at the ripe old age of, you know, 55, I'm not sure what, how deeply and all the ways it has affected me, but I know it has and I'm trying to discover that that's enough to go on the journey. Now. Not everyone can write a book. Not everyone should publish a book, you know.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes, that's right, you can write one.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, that's it.

[Ego Wodem]

Yourself.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, well, maybe, maybe not. But you really don't know until you do it. And so that would be my advice to you if you're thinking about writing a book. You know, you're a well known person, so somebody's going to give you easily give you a publishing contract. That's not the issue. But what should you, should you write that book and what is it about? Like make sure whatever you're writing has meaning to you first and foremost, but that it's resonant and it has some perspective on it, you know, because even a cookbook, right, you can on your phone, google any recipe that you want. You don't need to buy another cookbook ever. But you know, what you're getting from me in this cookbook is my point of view of cooking. So I'm just not trying to teach you how to make jollof rice or asun or you know, a tuna larb or whatever. I'm trying to teach you the principles of good cooking while I'm doing that. And every recipe is filtered through my way of writing recipes and my point, culinary point of view of the world. So, you know, you've done comedy for X amount of years and you know, I'm sure you have very fully formed thoughts about that and what your process and what makes that funny and how you approach a character and why some things don't work for you. And you know, even when people tell you to go left, you know that for you, you need to go right for that character and how you do that and navigate that with your director or whoever. All that is super interesting. You have the experience and the knowledge, firsthand knowledge to have a distinct point of view that may or not, you know, there's things that are subjective. So what works for you as an actor may not work for Heidi or may not work for someone else. But it's valid because you have the experience in the track record to opine about that.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, that is so, so helpful. It's, that's such a helpful metric because you could be like, I could, sure, I could write about something. But it's nice to be like, well, what do you care about and what do you actually want to say? And starting at that place as opposed to being like there. I bet people want to know about this thing. And if that's not a thing that I'm feeling passionate about sharing, then it's not a book that I should write.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Which is why my healthy eating book turned into a memoir.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, I don't give a shit about healthy eating.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I mean, I do, but I don't think like, I need to write, you know, like, I could tell you that in four sentences.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it doesn't need to be.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And that would have been a much more commercial book than my memoir. But you know, books last on the shelf a long time, whether they sell 10 copies or 10 million. You have to be proud of that book in 20 years.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, that is real. That's real. And that is a tall order. Okay, Padma, it's not just about me. It's not just about you. It's also about our guests. We have to, to give someone advice. In this next segment, we're going to hear from them. Kevin, we're ready.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Hi, Ego, My name is Matt. I'm a big fan of yours. I've enjoyed following your career and I really think you're awesome. As for advice, I think it's really cool that you're doing this. And so what I'd like to ask.

[Ego Wodem]

You is, as a single man in.

[Padma Lakshmi]

His upper 30s, my most previous long term relationship ended back in January. How would you, Ms. Eggy, suggest going about getting back out there on the dating scene and continuing my search for a new, strong connection with a woman. I'd really be interested to hear your thoughts and input on such a interesting topic and can't wait to hear back from you. Is he asking you out on a date?

[Ego Wodem]

It felt like that. Ms. Eggy, Ms. Eggy. Eggie. If you're nasty. I also like how he said, as a man in his upper 30s, as opposed to late 30s. Late 30s seems like. Like old. Late 30s seems like you're running behind.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But upper 30s, it's like you're an upper class.

[Ego Wodem]

Upper class. It's a bougie way of saying, I'm gonna steal that.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Upper 30s.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. I think he was asking you out.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay, so that's not gonna send pictures with the voice. Well, I can't go out with it. I can't go. I can't go. No shade. But because also, we took a. It was a turn. As I've been following your career, I'm like, God bless. That's amazing. He's a fan. And then it was. Was shit. He just got out of relationship, and he's looking not for me. He's not looking for me. But, Padma, what would you tell this young man? How to put himself out there. What was that? What was that?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I don't know. Because if I knew, I would not be single is the truth. I mean, I hate apps that are out there, but I think you need to know what your interests are and, you know, write those down and then look for women. Like, if you love bird watching, make a bird. Like, join a bird watching club. I don't know. Just don't walk around Central Park. But, like, if you, you know, love cooking, join a cooking class or a cookbook club. You know, someone in my office, they go salsa dancing because they really love it. And so they have their whole, like, little. Little community there. And I think anything you can do in real life is really important because it's hard to meet people. You know, before there were bars you would go to with your friends, and people would see if there was a vibe, and then you would feel it. You would have a drink, maybe you would dance, or you would just talk to them for an hour and you would know, enough. Now you have to make a date before you even know if this guy smells.

[Ego Wodem]

I know if their breath smells, what's going on, you know? And the people lie on the apps. Their pictures are old pictures. You arrive, you go. You kind of look like derivative of the picture I saw on the dating app. I don't enjoy the dating apps either. I don't. I would not prescribe them to this individual. I similar to you, I'm like, go live your life. Know what your interests are. Engage in those interests. Try to become the best version of yourself. Try to live a full, rich life, if you will, and then trust that the person is coming. Because, yeah, on the dating apps, I'm like, people are on here. I think because, you know, you don't want to face rejection in real life. They got too scared of getting rejected at the bar or a restaurant.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But I would rather be rejected at the bar after a drink than have to get dressed up and go somewhere and meet them and then be rejected immediately.

[Ego Wodem]

Be like, this isn't it? And then after this. Have you ever sat on a date date longer than you should?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Like just, oh, hell yes. But now there have been dates that, you know, I was on Raya for a while, which was really dumb, and I went on three dates and they were all nice men. So if you're listening to this and you went on a date with me last year, they were all nice men.

[Ego Wodem]

You know, low key, an insult. But.

[Padma Lakshmi]

But like, there was just no chemistry. And I was bored. And I knew I ordered one glass of Prosecco and before that glass was half empty. And I do say half empty, not half full.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Because, you know, he was three quarters of the way done. And she came, she goes, would you like another drink? And he goes, yes. And he goes. And she said, oh, can I refresh your drink too? I said, no, I gotta go. Oh, I don't want to waste his time.

[Ego Wodem]

So then, so then they know, right? Then did you get a text afterwards by chance being like, I enjoyed my time with you or did they, did they know?

[Padma Lakshmi]

No, I don't give them my phone number until, like after the first date.

[Ego Wodem]

You had people ask prematurely on the day dating apps. Because I used to have people asking prematurely. Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And I just say, I'm sorry, I'm. I'm a known person and I've only had one cell phone my whole life. And I would like to keep it that way. It has something to do with you. It's not personal.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You know, I can give you my email. I check that just as often. It's on my phone too.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah.

[Padma Lakshmi]

If they have a problem with it. But you know what? There was one guy that I would. He. We would. That happened. He was offended for a little bit. He was an Italian. He is an Italian. He's still alive. Yeah. Hopefully living in Tokyo.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And we had an email correspondence for four months.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And it was so beautiful because we would write these long old fashioned letters. It was like I was living in the 1800s. And then like, he would respond in a week later. So I would. Sometimes I'd be in the middle of my day because also he lived in Tokyo. And I would be coming back, you know, seeing my phone after the gym. And I'd See, I had an email, and I would purposely not open it because I wanted to savor it. So I would wait till my whole day was over, and then I would lie on the couch with my dog and light a fire and make a cup of tea. And then I would open my computer. I like to read it on my computer, not even on my phone. I would just read it. He would tell me about the week and how he went to the mountains and blah, blah, blah. And I did the same thing. And we never FaceTimed. I don't know why. We never even left each other audio messages.

[Ego Wodem]

Wow.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And then finally he said, you know, let's just meet somewhere neutral. Like, let me know when your next trip is, and I'll meet you there. And if you could just put like an extra day in your schedule or something. Let's do that. And then I said, hey, I got a car commercial in Tokyo and I went to Tokyo. And we even in spite of having to shoot all day every day, I was there. I was there for like five days. I saw him four out of the five days I was there at night. And he gave me a beautiful tour of Tokyo. And he was really nice. And we already had old people energy together. Yeah. But, like, nothing happened because we held hands a little bit. But it's like, it's not worth it. Like, I. I'm still going to live in New York. It's not. He wasn't still living in Tokyo, and he couldn't.

[Ego Wodem]

And he couldn't move. Huh?

[Padma Lakshmi]

I don't think you move based on four days. You know what I mean?

[Ego Wodem]

The way the movie I was writing as you were speaking.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I know.

[Ego Wodem]

I'm like, the way that movie goes is he does move, and it ends.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Up being a match made him.

[Ego Wodem]

Because you enjoyed your time. I'm such a romantic, though.

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's very romantic. And once a year, he texts me and says, hi. It's my yearly check in. How are you doing? And I say, I'm doing great. How are you doing? And he was very elegant. I went to his apartment and I saw it. You know, I think he was too scared to, like, really make a move on me because he wanted to be respectful and I was too lazy to really make a move.

[Ego Wodem]

So we were really just fired. Really. Pen pals. So people complain about being pen pals, but, like, you guys were actually pen pals and then did meet up, but it was like, let's keep it relatively platonic. I guess we'll hold it.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Something so.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Cuz I'm not a one night stander. It's just not. I need to feel really comfortable with you in order to let you in that intimately.

[Ego Wodem]

Yeah, it literally is.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yes. Yeah, I understand.

[Ego Wodem]

You know what I mean?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Like, I'm very shy and I don't feel comfortable right away. So I can, I can just be like, yeah, okay. So then in my mind I was trying to make that calculation. I was like, you know, you're gonna leave and like then you'll just have done this thing with this guy. I don't know why. For whatever reason, it just. I guess there was not enough like passion, you know, but there was genuinely like a real fondness and coziness between us.

[Ego Wodem]

That's nice.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So like if he moved to New York for some independent reason, we would probably be at least friends and maybe, you know, maybe we would go out and I feel like we would just turn into an old couple in two months. Yeah. You know, like that was the vibe.

[Ego Wodem]

So maybe this is someone for down the road.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah, maybe like down the road when.

[Ego Wodem]

You'Re like, yeah, I'm retired from the cake.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I didn't get the, like, I didn't get the butterflies.

[Ego Wodem]

Oh yeah, I think, I think you need the butterflies. Some people would not agree with that, but I'm like, give me the butterflies. Give me a spark. I need to feel for sure.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I love the early stages of a romance.

[Ego Wodem]

Isn't having a crush the best thing?

[Padma Lakshmi]

It's the best that can.

[Ego Wodem]

That's like been my favorite thing historically is just having a crush. I'm like. A crush is.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So what's the longest relationship you've ever had?

[Ego Wodem]

18 months.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Wow.

[Ego Wodem]

A year and a half. A year and a half. And that was longer than I needed to be.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Oh yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

What's your longest?

[Padma Lakshmi]

Well, I was with my ex husband for eight years.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

And that was my longest relationship.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Otherwise I was with another boyfriend for six years. I was with another person who passed away for four years. You know, with Krishna's father. It was very complicated. And you know, we, we were never living together, but there were periods when we were together. But I mean, that guy isn't going anywhere. Cause he's my baby daddy.

[Ego Wodem]

He's attached to you forever.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Okay. I mean, he's a good dad, so that's fine. You know, we're really close and we're good friends and stuff. So in a way it doesn't really matter who you marry, it matters who you reproduce with.

[Ego Wodem]

Right, Right. Also, I just love you got a couple of these like Men on the hook for a long term. We've got our pen pal in Tokyo, Krishna's dad. Come on, Roster. Padma, thank you so much for being on the podcast. I learned a lot today.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I learned a lot.

[Ego Wodem]

I really appreciate you get Padma's book.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes. Padma's all American. Oh.

[Padma Lakshmi]

One thing I want to say about advice to that guy.

[Ego Wodem]

Yes.

[Padma Lakshmi]

You should put the feelers out. You should tell all of your friends and colleagues if they know anybody, that would be someone they think you'd click with. That's a good way.

[Ego Wodem]

I do agree that's worked out for some of my friends, so I'm not mad at that. That's a great piece of advice also.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

Okay. You heard it. You know what to do now.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Yeah.

[Ego Wodem]

I bet this person ends up in a loving relationship in no time.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I hope so.

[Ego Wodem]

I think we gave all the tools we possibly could.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I hope he just doesn't show up at iheartradio.

[Ego Wodem]

There's security outside. There's right. There's security. Right. I don't know. Okay, bye, guys. Oh, my gosh. How amazing is Padma? I really. I. I enjoyed my conversation with her so much, and so much of that I could relate to, and hopefully you could, too. Sleepovers. I didn't get to tell her that. I don't like sleepovers as an adult. So the irony is, like, as a kid being like, mom, let me sleep over. And now I'm like, I need to wake up in my own time bed. I don't care how late it is that I'm leaving your home, I need to wake up in my own bed. Because if I don't wake up in my own bed and I'm not at a hotel, we're not talking vacation. If I don't wake up in my own bed, my whole day is messed up just having to reset in my own space and get to my own space and reset. So I. I'm not going to be this aggressive. Tempted to say abolish sleepovers as well, but I'm not going to do that. I'm not there yet. I'm not there just yet. Yet. Anyway, Padma's book, Padma's All American. A cookbook. I think you guys need to get it. I'm very excited. I've been told to try the suya recipe in here, and so I'm so excited. And guys, make something and tell me what you make from it. Maybe we could do a podcast listener cook together. Zoom. I don't know. I'm making that up. I'm making that up, but it could happen. Anyway, I get this podcast, this book. Padma's an amazing chef, I've had her food, it's really good, and I cannot wait to get into this book. Hey, if you want some advice from me and my next guests, you can call me and leave a voice message. In fact, I encourage you to do so and enunciate from me. Daddy. Thanks, dad. No. Okay, the number is 5028-4932-3750-2849. 3237. That's 502. Thanks, THX dads. And you can leave me a voice message asking me for advice. I don't know what I'm doing on this planet, but, honey, I will try my best to offer you a nugget of something. Bye. Thanks, dad. Is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money Players and I Heart podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Uppam. DACA. Amazon five Star Theater presents real customer reviews performed by a real serious improv podcaster. Tonight's review, Furby. I bought a Furby as a nostalgic joke. Joke's on me. Day one, adorable giggles wiggles its ears.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Says me love you. Day three woke me up at 3am whispering in Furbish.

[Ego Wodem]

I think it summoned something.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Day five, I'm starting to ask it for life advice.

[Ego Wodem]

Day seven, it blinked at me like it knew I blinked back.

[Padma Lakshmi]

We've reached an understanding.

[Ego Wodem]

I fear it.

[Padma Lakshmi]

I love it.

[Ego Wodem]

5 stars. Aaron M. Find your perfect gift. This holiday on Amazon.

[Padma Lakshmi]

What a matchup we got, y'.

[Ego Wodem]

All.

[Padma Lakshmi]

This is that classic HBCU vibe. Non stop action. The bottom band is rocking and the crowd lit. Chance echo drum beat, everybody. Showing that school pride game like this. Yeah, it calls for an ice cold Coca Cola. Ah, crisp and refreshing. That's a game changer right there. Yeah, that taste always hits the right note. Just like the band at halftime. And just like that, we're back at it. Ashton fans, school colors everywhere and an ice cold Coca Cola. That's a winning combo.

[Ego Wodem]

No matter the sport, no matter the yard. Everybody knows fan work is thirsty work.

[Padma Lakshmi]

So grab a Coca Cola and keep that HBCU pride going.

[Ego Wodem]

Black Friday is here and Pandora Jewelry.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Is offering up to 40% off storewide and site wide. Now through December 2nd, Explore Jewelry designed to last beyond the season. From classic charms to modern rings, bracelets, earrings and more.

[Ego Wodem]

Whether you're holiday shopping or treating yourself.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Now'S the perfect time to find something Special.

[Ego Wodem]

[e-mail] or your local Pandora store.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Exclusions apply. Some moments in life stay with you forever. In a special segment of On Purpose brought to you by ebay, I share a story about a book that changed my life early in my journey and how I was able to find the same exact edition on ebay. It was more than just a purchase, it was a reconnection with a memory that shaped my purpose. There are certain books that don't just give you information, they shift the way you see the world. I remember reading one when I was younger that completely changed me. Years later I found myself thinking about that book again. I wanted the same edition back, not a reprint. That exact one one. So I started searching and that's when I found it on ebay. That's what I love about ebay, where you can rediscover the pieces of your past that still inspire your present. Shop ebay for millions of finds, each with a story. EBay Things People Love Listen to On Purpose on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen to podcasts.

[Ego Wodem]

This is what the market used to sound like.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Pretty complex.

[Ego Wodem]

But today with iShares by BlackRock investing is easier. With over 450 ETFs, iShares gives you easy access to countless market opportunities. IShares by BlackRock the market is yours. Visit www.ishares.com to view your perspectives, which includes investment objectives, risks, fees, expenses and other information you should read and consider carefully before investing. Risk includes principal laws. Prepared by BlackRock Investments LLC.

[Padma Lakshmi]

Memphinero this is an iHeart podcast. Guaranteed Human.