Wanda Sykes

Summary

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Thanks Dad with Ego Nwodim: Wanda Sykes

Original Air Date: December 2, 2025
Host: Ego Nwodim
Guest: Wanda Sykes

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and hilarious episode of "Thanks Dad," Ego Nwodim sits down with comedy legend Wanda Sykes. The two share stories about growing up with (and without) hands-on parents, explore cultural and family dynamics, parenting styles, career longevity, and the nuanced joys and challenges of connection. As always, Ego's signature warmth, quick wit, and honesty highlights Wanda's own comedic brilliance and wisdom. The conversation is personal, deeply funny, and filled with advice — not only from Wanda, but also during the listener call-in segment.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Receiving Compliments & Humble Beginnings

• Compliment Evasion: Wanda admits to being awkward with compliments, often downplaying her efforts or deflecting (08:13–09:01).

  "I, I. Sometimes I… deflect and go back to okay, what you up to?" – Wanda (08:20)

• Humility in Style:

  "Somebody dressed me." – Wanda (08:40)

2. Gratitude & Acknowledgements

• Chief of Staff Appreciation: Wanda thanks her chief of staff, Susan Cho, for her unwavering support in her personal and professional life (10:04–10:42).

  "She just does such a great job, and I’m just so, just blessed to have her." – Wanda (10:20)

• Funny Alternate ‘Thank you’:

  "I took a really good poop this morning…" – Wanda, jokingly (09:27)

3. Growing Up Military & Regional Identity

• Family Moves: Growing up with a military father and a working mom, Wanda experienced a major move from Virginia to Maryland (11:25–15:37).
• DMV vs. Baltimore: Ego and Wanda riff on the “DMV” cultural divide and Baltimore’s outsider status. This sparks a nostalgic, rapid-fire exchange about Maryland towns and regional pride (12:03–14:41).

  "Baltimore doesn’t feel like they’re a part of it [DMV]… It’s like they cut Maryland off at, like, Silver Spring." – Ego (12:08, 12:17)

4. Navigating Race & Community

• Racial Shifts Growing Up: Wanda talks about being one of the few Black families in her Maryland neighborhood after growing up surrounded by Black people in Virginia (15:07–16:09).
• Neighborhood Dynamics:

  "We lived in this neighborhood that was just developing … only one other Black family on our street." – Wanda (15:08)

• Dealing with Discrimination: Both share stories about encountering racism in their neighborhoods (16:09–16:35).

5. Family Relationships & Coming Out

• Parenting Styles: Wanda’s dad avoided bringing military strictness home, preferring separation of work and family life, and was financially savvy (17:24–18:51).
• Mom and Sibling Bonds: Wanda has an older brother, remains close with him, and describes her mother as being both close but having had struggles particularly during her coming out (19:16–20:59).

  "There was a moment … we kind of had some issues, and that all had to do with, you know, me coming out. That was hard for them." – Wanda (20:31)

• Coming Out Experience: Wanda shares details of coming out as a gay woman in her forties, her mother’s dramatic reaction, and the difficulties of making parents see beyond themselves in such moments (22:03–23:48).

  "She just had a big… breakdown. And why, God, what did I do?" – Wanda (23:24) "I can’t do this with you, Mom." – Wanda (23:47)

6. Parenting Children & Shifting Priorities

• Wanda as a Parent: She has 16-year-old twins, with one driving and the other less interested, much to her mild amusement (30:21–31:43).
• Parenting = Surrender: Ego and Wanda explore how parenting shifts your sense of self-importance, teaching surrender and patience — “It’s not patience, it’s just… okay.” – Wanda (31:52–32:23)

  "Being a parent… you have to put in your mind that you’re not the most important thing." – Wanda (31:53)

• Dogs as Training for Kids: Both compare raising dogs to having children, noting the humility and patience required (33:01–34:20).

7. On Twins & Large Families

• Twin Parenting Struggles: Wanda humorously recalls thinking she might have to “give one back” after the twins were born because of the overwhelming responsibility (36:12–37:28).

  "We might have to take one back." – Wanda (36:24)

• Family Size Generational Shift: Ego notes the dramatic change from her mom’s generation of nine siblings to her own "maybe one" child plan (37:53–38:45).

8. Current Phase of Life & Career Longevity

• What’s Next?: Wanda describes this stage as a time to create her own projects rather than just being hired, seeking new challenges (38:54–39:35).
• Stand-Up vs. Touring: Despite loving stand-up, she’s blunt about the difficulty of touring, “It’s hard. It’s a grind.” – Wanda (40:00–41:14)

  "I love doing stand up. I love touring. Well, I shouldn’t say I love touring, but I love doing stand up." – Wanda (40:00)

9. Parenting Philosophies & Generational Differences

• Listening to Kids: Wanda is committed to listening and explaining to her children, a departure from the "because I said so" style she grew up under (42:40–43:41).

  "I try to listen… You can ask me why I said no…" – Wanda (42:40)

• Boundaries & Intuition: Both discuss parental intuition and respecting boundaries, including gut feelings about letting their children participate in certain activities (43:59–45:46).

10. Faith, Spirituality & Family Practice

• Faith as an Anchor: Wanda aspires to share a sense of faith with her kids, noting she wishes she had done more but appreciates at least the traditions and access she received (46:43–51:55).

  "I want them to have that… to know that there’s always a place they can go." – Wanda (51:08)

• Online Church/Communion: Wanda and Ego joke about the modern conveniences of faith practice, i.e., "communion from bed" (47:10–47:36).

11. Maintaining Authenticity & Staying Relevant

• One Clear Goal: Wanda’s guiding star was always to be "one of the funniest comics — not female, male, just comics," leading her career’s organic evolution (55:07–57:20).
• Staying You:

  “I want to be one of the funniest comedians comics. Not female, male, just across the board, period. And that’s what I work towards, and that’s what I still work at.” – Wanda (55:06)

• Surviving Bombing:

  "Have you bombed… in the last five years?" – Ego "I'm sure. Yeah. And it hurts. It still hurts." – Wanda (57:35–57:47) "Usually it’s at a charity event… I didn’t have to do this shit." – Wanda (57:53)

• Focus on Criticism: The evolutionary compulsion to fixate on that "one negative person," despite all the positive energy, is discussed with humor and acceptance (60:00–60:55).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Deflecting Compliments:
  "I'm working on… being like, thank you. But then I don't know. It's like, where does the conversation go from there?" – Ego (08:50)

• On Parenting & Patience:
  "My patience isn't – I'm gonna sit here and be patient with them. My, my patient is, girl, I ain't got time for that." – Wanda (30:08)

• On Large Families:
  "My mom is one of nine." – Ego (37:58)
  "God damn." – Wanda (37:59)

• On Nepo Babies:
  Ego: "I cannot wait to have a nepo baby!" – (41:34)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Childhood, Regional Identity & Race: 11:25–16:35
• Coming Out to Parents & Family Dynamics: 20:31–23:47
• Parenting Twins & Real Talk on Family Size: 30:21–38:45
• Faith, Upbringing & Sharing Spirituality: 46:43–53:05
• Career Longevity & Advice to Ego: 54:53–57:20
• Bombing & Coping with Criticism: 57:35–60:55
• Listener Advice Call-in: 61:25–65:38

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Listener Advice (Segment: "That Was Nice, But What About Me?") (61:25–65:38)

• Listener Problem: Best friend is engaged to a guy he doesn’t care for and feels replaced; the fiancé didn’t vote.
  • Wanda’s Advice: Maintain the friendship, be happy for your friend, and act as a sounding board if things go sideways. "Maybe he got good dick and that’s all… you don’t know what floats your best friend's boat!" – Wanda (64:14)

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Tone & Style

The conversation is spontaneous, irreverent, honest, and supportive. Ego’s blend of playful vulnerability and curiosity allows Wanda’s candor and comic genius to shine. The two move easily between laughter and gravity, normalizing topics ranging from “DMV” regional beefs to the complexities of coming out, parenting, and faith.

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Summary for New Listeners

If you didn’t catch the episode, you’d miss Ego and Wanda trading DMV (the region, not the agency!) jokes; candid, loving stories about parental quirks; hard-won wisdom about boundaries, patience, and parenting; and an unfiltered look at how to stay authentic — and hilarious — after decades in the business. Along the way: practical advice, lots of laughter, and the kind of honesty you can only get from two deeply self-aware, big-hearted women.

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Selected Quotes with Timestamps

• On gratitude:
  "I want to thank my chief of staff, Susan Cho… just blessed to have her." – Wanda (10:19)
• On coming out:
  "She just had a big… breakdown. And why, God, what did I do?" – Wanda (23:24)
• On work ethic:
  "I want to be one of the funniest comedians comics. Not female, male, just across the board, period." – Wanda (55:07)
• On advice to friends:
  "Maybe he got good dick and that's all…you don't know what floats your best friend's boat." – Wanda (64:14)
• On self-care & feedback:
  "You could have a crowd of 400 people…and I am committed to getting you, demolishing you…" – Ego (60:00)

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A genuine, insightful, and very funny conversation — a must-listen for fans of stand-up, people navigating evolving family relationships, and anyone who relishes a fiercely honest talk with two modern icons.

Transcript

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[A]

Hi guys. I'm Ego. Odin. You know that or maybe you don't. Maybe this is your first time tuning in. If it is, welcome. I'm so glad you're here. All I'm doing is running my mouth for an hour or more and somehow people are interested in listening to that, God bless you all. Can I just say that this podcast is meant to connect, inspire, maybe bring you a little joy. Also, my hope is that we could just make the world a better place. And so I have little silly ideas as to how to do that. Right? So today I've been thinking a lot about those people. We all have those people in our lives who send us memes and reels on Instagram and TikToks just all day long. And it's like, you can't keep up. You can't keep up. Even right now I'm getting sweaty thinking about it. Like I have friends who I'm like, I know there are unread messages in my Instagram account because I just can't keep up with the memes and the reels. I can't keep up. And it's like non stop. It's like, has AI taken over my friend or is my friend really doing this? How are they keeping up at this pace? It seems near impossible, certainly impossible for me to watch them all because it's not just one person for me, it's multiple people. But I know everyone has at least one. But imagine you have multiple friends doing that and how stressful. And they go, did you watch the thing I sent you? Did you watch that thing? Did you see that thing? And I'm like, which one? Which one? You've sent so many. Oh my God. I, I, I'm sweating right now. I'm really sweating. You can't see, I won't show you. But I'm kind of sweating at the thought. Just chill down my spine as well. It's it they go together. I guys, it's a lot. Think about the way you are inundating. It's giving spam. Maybe you say to your friend, hey, friend, you're giving spam. Because that's what it's giving and it feels stressful. And of course there are worse things in the world, guys. There are always worse things in the world. I want to be very clear that I am aware of that. But boy oh boy, getting an endless stream of reals is so stressful because you want to engage with your friend. I don't want my friends to feel like I'm ignoring them. I want to be able to laugh and have shared context with them. But I'm like, how are you watching all of these things and then also being productive in your day? Cuz I can tell you right now, to watch all the memes and reels you've sent me, I would have to carve out time, meaningful time. This isn't like a casual. I'm having to carve out real time. It's too much. And when they haven't. So some friends, I used to double tap just to be like, okay, yeah, I watched it, like, to acknowledge receipt, right?

[B]

And.

[A]

And hope. And hope that they thought that that meant I watched it. And then I realized, oh, no, I can't double tap anymore because I'm encouraging them. That's positive affirmation. It's a literal red heart, right? So I have chilled on even clicking on them, and I'm like, I guess you're free to send them to me, but I do not have to watch. And I will watch at my leisure. And my leisure damn near doesn't exist, so I will not watch, I guess, is what I'm trying to say. But if you tell me one's really, really, really, really, really good, I will tap in. And if I tap in and watch that one and it's not really, really, really, really good, like, you promise, honey, you're dead. You can never. Your word is not bond. Your word means nothing. And I won't watch another one of your reels for some time. I'll put you on ice for a little bit Punishment time out. I'm not watching anything you send me. So, anyway, I just don't. I. I actually. Maybe on the podcast, one day down the line, I'll, like, get to sit with one of those people who sends memes and reels all day and ask them all the questions I have for them. And one of which being, how do you have the time to keep up with this? Because I know you're not just sending them to me. Sometimes you can tell someone sent them to multiple people, right? You can say, in a very diabolical way, Instagram allows you to, like, select multiple people and send separately. And sometimes that's very obvious to me because every once in a while, a person sending them to me is someone. I'm like, we've barely ever had a conversation, but you're, like, sending me memes and reels. It's very interesting. I understand it to be a way to connect, but I think we've gotten. I think we've gotten away from ourselves people, and I just want to reel us back. Oh, you see what I did there? I didn't mean to. And is it real us back in or rain us back? And I don't know, honey, it's my podcast. Tell me in the comments what I did wrong. I know you will, and that's fine. And that's fine. Today, something I'm gonna do very right, though, is talk to Wanda Sykes, the legend that she is. I'm so excited. So here we are. My next guest is an absolute legend. Do you understand? Actress, writer, comedian, producer. Coming up in the final season of the upshaws this year and going on tour with the please and thank you tour across the country. I just hit the mic. I'm hyped. I'm so excited. It's Wanda Sykes.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

Thank you. Yes. Make some noise. For what? Make some real. Let's hear it. Wanda Sykes in the building. Are you kidding me? Absolute legend. One of my favorites. My assistant texted me this morning, was like, have a great time with Ms. Wanda. She's absolutely one of my favorites. And I feel like everyone says that about you. That's so sweet, but you deserve it. You've been working hard.

[B]

I've been out here. I've been out here slinging these jokes a long time.

[A]

A long time. How are you with compliments in general and receiving them?

[B]

I'm. I'm okay. I, I. Sometimes I, you know, I. I will. I will deflect and go back to okay. What you up to? Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

So if I was like, I like your blouse, which I do, how would you. You just say, thank you. Thank you. Okay. And we wouldn't try to do it. Yeah, I used to.

[B]

I. And sometimes I have to go. I. I didn't pick it out.

[A]

Somebody did.

[B]

Somebody dressed me.

[A]

See, it always comes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, yeah, it was just $10 that you could get one too. I'm. I'm working on. You want this one?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy. I'm being like, thank you, and then. But I don't know. It's like, where does the conversation go from there? So then I feel responsible for making it go somewhere else.

[B]

Right, right, right.

[A]

Anyway, I have to tell you, you're a legend again. I just. Just listen. I'm making you uncomfortable. I just feel so honored to have you here.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Happy to be here.

[A]

I'm so glad. Now, Ms. Wanda, do you have anything, anyone you want to say thank you to?

[B]

I want to say thank you, cuz I thought about thanks.

[A]

I should say thanks.

[B]

Yeah. I want to say thanks to. And I thought about this first. I was. I was going to say something funny.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Because I took a really good poop this morning.

[A]

Oh. Can I ask about it? Can I ask about it?

[B]

We don't have to harp, but can.

[A]

I ask about it? Was it the one where you didn't have to wipe after. You know, when they come out clean. You guys know what I'm talking about. If you've never had one where you don't have to wipe after, you do wipe to be sure.

[B]

I know.

[A]

But then you wipe and you're like, oh, there's nothing.

[B]

That was amazing. Right? It was amaz. I'll just say it was amazing.

[A]

It was. You don't want to give details.

[B]

I want to give details, but it was just. It just caught me off guard. Like, I didn't know it was coming. Oh. Oh, wow.

[A]

Like, did you feel lighter after?

[B]

Much lighter.

[A]

Oh, I know that feeling, too.

[B]

Oh, my goodness. So that's. That was my original. I thought about it, and I said, no, I want to thank. And don't you cut this. This out. What I'm about to really think I'mma thank my chief of staff, Susan Cho.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Is amazing. Just, you know, just takes care of everything, just from the smallest detail to the. I mean, the largest thing. Hey, my 60th birthday.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'll plan it for you. You know, just anything and just. She just does such a great job, and I'm just so, just blessed to have her.

[A]

That's beautiful. Yes. Chief of Staff for Wanda Sykes. We have to say thanks to her.

[B]

We have to say thanks.

[A]

I love to hear that. Because I imagine a person in a position like you, and I am in some stage of my career right now and can feel so overwhelmed at times. And so to have someone like Susan who's like, I already thought of it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It feels like a dream. That sounds like a dream, though.

[B]

Yeah. Or they can look at you and go, okay, this. She's overwhelmed, so let me do something extra. You know, I'm going to take this off, and we'll. We'll do that next week, you know.

[A]

Oh, that is.

[B]

Things like that. Yes.

[A]

Nice.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Did you grow up with that kind of care?

[B]

Oh, hell no.

[A]

Okay. Neither did I. No. I just asked to be cute, to be honest. Okay. Okay. All right. So it's nice to have a Susan.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What was growing up like for you growing up?

[B]

My dad was in the. In the army military, and. And my mom, she was like, worked at a newspaper, like the classified ass section, and. But when we moved, she stayed home and just got us settled because we know we made that huge move from Virginia to Maryland.

[A]

Okay. I was about to say, but I'm from. I'm from Baltimore, and even to. Oh, that's right. Do you feel I grew up. I Grew, you know, what about the dmv? And I don't know if this is controversial. Baltimore doesn't feel like they're a part of it.

[B]

I know.

[A]

They feel like It's Southern Maryland, D.C. and Virginia. Right?

[B]

I know.

[A]

And so when people say it to me, they're. I'm like, but Baltimore, Maryland is Baltimore, comma, Maryland. Right?

[B]

Y.

[A]

But I'm like, but I also am a little bit like that, where I'm like, oh, when you say dmv, you're not including me and my people.

[B]

Exactly. That's not right.

[A]

It's not. But it's not right because we're a part of it.

[B]

It's like they cut Maryland off at, like, Silver Spring.

[A]

Yes, exactly. They do. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. And then it's like, that's Baltimore.

[B]

Or like. Like Marlboro. That's dmv. Silver Spring. But Laurel. Dmv, Laurel.

[A]

Yeah. Let's name all the towns, because I want to show off.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Bethesda.

[B]

You got another one that's in there?

[A]

Do you have another one? Are we running out? Come on. Suitland.

[B]

Suitland. But you know what? I think Glenn Bernie is what blew it. And everybody was like, nah, we don't want.

[A]

We don't want to claim Glen Bernie because we don't claim Glenn Bernie.

[B]

See, nobody claims Glenn Bernie.

[A]

See, my mom lived in Glen Bernie three years ago. I didn't tell anybody. I said, she just moved out of Baltimore. They're like, where? And I was like, somewhere.

[B]

So somewhere. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's like, Dundalk.

[A]

Oh, Dundalk. Oh, my goodness. Me and my brother. So I grew up with people who grew up in Dundalk. Like, so Dundalk wasn't far from us. But me and my brother would joke a lot, and this is messed up. I love you, Baltimore. Baltimore County. I love all of you. City.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But my brother and I used to joke. Me like, you from Dundalk? Neither of us were from Dundalk, but it was like an insult. And then last season on snl, somebody wrote a sketch. I'm at table read. I'm not involved. I'm in the sketch. But I didn't. I was not involved in the writing of it. Someone from Maryland was, though. But someone wrote a sketch, and in the sketch, and it goes to air there, someone goes, oh, she's from Dundalk. And I was at table, losing it.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

But everyone was laughing, by the way. And I was like, but you guys don't understand. You don't know what.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly.

[A]

That's really specific.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love that. You know, Dunda, that was a whole thing with me and my brother. You're from Dunda. I love that. Okay, so, yes. That is a big move, though, because Baltimore to Southern Maryland, we're not even the same state in our minds. Like, they don't like us. I don't know if the.

[B]

What about Baltimore County? Is that considered dmv? I'm from Baltimore county, but that should be dmv.

[A]

No, because it's Baltimore, though.

[B]

It's not the county. When you out in the county.

[A]

I'm from, I'm a county.

[B]

That's how you say it. When you out in the county. You out in the county. So that's. That's the. That's. That's the.

[A]

But it's still Baltimore. So on my address growing up, it was Baltimore, Common American, two one, two, three. Something. I want say the number. People can figure out the rest. But. And also, what would that. If I said it out loud, what would that even do? It wouldn't matter. I should say it.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

I'm not going to, though. I refuse. But we feel separate from the rest of Maryland. And for you to move from. Big move from Maryland to Virginia, big leap. When that happened.

[B]

Virginia to Maryland, Virginia to Maryland.

[A]

Excuse me. What happened in the family?

[B]

We were around white people. Oh, yeah.

[A]

So there's more white people in Maryland?

[B]

Well, where we live. I mean, in Virginia, we lived. You know, it was. Was just around black people.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Then started. You know, so I saw white people at school.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. And then we moved to Virginia. I mean, moved to Maryland.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We lived in this neighborhood that was just developing, and there was only one other black family on our street. So it was like, wow, it's a lot of white.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. How did it feel? And also, what part of Maryland? Now that we're getting very specific today, just remember we.

[B]

We. My dad was stationed at Fort Meade, so we were in Gambrels.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

That's in Anne Arundel County.

[A]

Okay. I know Anne Arundel County. Never heard of Gambrels. Yeah, but I'm from.

[B]

Yeah, it's like Crofton.

[A]

Okay. Yeah, I know that. Okay, so you saw white people. And how did that feel?

[B]

It was. It was fine.

[A]

Okay. Ended up being all right.

[B]

It was all right. Yeah. I mean, we didn't really think about. About it too much. You know, it was like, just. And I think that's how. How it works. It's like, we get there and it's like, okay, cool. White people need to go, oh, but how are they gonna feel about us?

[A]

Right.

[B]

That's what it is.

[A]

I do often think it's like, if.

[B]

They'Re cool, we're all cool.

[A]

Right. If there's no beef, there's no brief.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so they were cool.

[B]

They were cool. Except for, like, one family. One family wasn't cool.

[A]

They were not.

[B]

Oh, they were straight up. Just.

[A]

They were. Yeah. And you hate to see it, frankly, you do hate to see. There's got. It feels like in every one of those neighborhoods. We had one in my neighborhood. I was in a new development, too, in Baltimore county, and we had one in my neighborhood who had the Confederate flag.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Yeah. One of those. Right? And so always one, gotta be one. It's gotta be one.

[B]

Yes. It's not like, you know, they're not around. You know, they're still here.

[A]

And some of them are in the shadows. They're pretending to be the other kind, by the way.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And they're the that kind anyway. You follow? You do follow. Okay, so we do. I think it's a Maryland girl thing. But again, I'm not. I'm technically in my. You say I am Maryland. Yes, because it's on Baltimore County. Okay. And this is a big review. This is very vulnerable for me to say from the county publicly, because there's a lot of people going to disown me today, because that's the whole thing. I'm not from Baltimore City. So then they go, then you're not from Baltimore. But I am anyway.

[B]

But you're. You're part of the dmv, though.

[A]

Okay. So I'll be part of the family. Thank you.

[B]

All right, it's official. I said it, and so it is.

[A]

Wanda Sykes said it, and that's law, period. So growing up, you go to Maryland, you're in Gambrels, Your dad is around.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And he is not necessarily the gentlest given military. Because when I was like, did you get that kind of care growing up that Susan's giving you? You were like, hell, no. So what was it like, the dynamic with you and your parents?

[B]

My dad was. Well, first of all, you know, black people from Virginia grew up in, you know, Jim Crow South. And also they. There's already a. A cons, you know, a strictness or conservatism about them. Right. You know, church and all. So that part stayed. But as far as the job, I don't. I don't. My dad didn't bring the military home.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, he wanted Us to live off base. We didn't live on, you know, right on base. So he. He was good about not, you know, not playing military at home.

[A]

Why do you think he wanted you to live off base? Was it so that he. There was a separation between his vibe at work and his vibe at home?

[B]

I think so.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think so. I think, you know, maybe he also was like, I'm not being military all day, you know, 24, seven, walk around, whatever.

[A]

Right.

[B]

You know?

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

And also they got a. A housing allowance if you live off base. And my parents are very smart when it comes to, you know, financials, finance. So I think he was like, oh, I can get a house with this.

[A]

Boom, boom.

[B]

You know? Yeah.

[A]

Smart. Okay. So they did know the finance.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'll tell you that. That's another thing I didn't learn growing up anything about finances. They don't teach you that in school. And then if you don't really learn that at home.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Because in school they're teaching you, like, long division and reading Ernest Hemingway, which is great. But then I'm like, what about how to save my money and make it work for me? So that's cool that you got that. How many siblings do you have?

[B]

Just one. One older brother.

[A]

Just one older brother. Were you too close?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Remain close. Yes.

[A]

All right. That's beautiful. And then your mom's.

[B]

We can go, like, forever, not, you.

[A]

Know, and then speak. Do you have friends like that who you like mad long without talking to.

[B]

Each other, and then it's like, drop right in, Right? Yeah.

[A]

Have you had friends who respond poorly to your absence for an extended period of time and then trying to drop back in? You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah, I know what you mean. I'm just trying to think. I don't. No, that hasn't happened.

[A]

You are blessed, Highly favored.

[B]

I'm trying to think. No, it hasn't happened.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's incredible. I feel like so people. Well, I feel like everyone I. Everyone I know has at least one person who was like, they didn't do well with the life. I'm adulting. Life happens.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

We get busy. Let's tap back in. There's. Everyone has. I feel like a tale of. There was that one person who didn't get it, that, like, we're adults and we get busy and we'll tap back in as soon as we're able.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because some people are clean. I love that you have lived a blessed. The bar being that low. I'm like, boy, you are Blessed. Yeah. And your dynamic with your mom is what. How would you describe it? Or growing up, what was it like?

[B]

My mom and I, we've always been pretty close. Yeah, it's that. Yeah, we've always been. We've always been pretty close. I mean, there was a moment when there was like. Yeah, we kind of had some issues, and that all had to do with, you know, me coming out. That was hard for them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So. But, yeah, we're. We're cool now.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

We found this thing now. We both love to go to the casino. Oh, really? Yeah. And. And I usually just. When I would go to the casino, I will play the table games right now, and my mom plays the slots.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But so when I go visit and we go to the casino, I want to talk to her. We want to. We want it. So, yeah, I started. Let me just do this.

[A]

Right, right, right.

[B]

And now I'm hooked.

[A]

You're hooked now, too. It's contagious. I'm not. Do you do Vegas at all ever?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

See, I don't like Vegas, and maybe if I gambled, I would like Vegas. Oh, that's.

[B]

Yeah. That's the only thing you go to Vegas to. To gamble or if you just go to see a show. Yes. You see great shows in Vegas.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And eat.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The food is good in Vegas. I will give it to them. I will give it to them for that. The Vegas food. I'm like, they don't play. Like, I don't love breakfast, but the breakfast at the hotels is busted.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Crazy. It's so good. So when. How old were you when you came out?

[B]

Oh, God.

[A]

I'm trying to take you way back because I want to know.

[B]

I was that. Oh, Oh, I know. It was. It was right after the election when I was like, out, out. And that was what that was like. So 2009, I guess there was a 2009. November 15th, I want to say. No. Was that right at the Prop 8, passing on, there was a national day of.

[A]

I don't even know what day of the week it is today, so, you know, I'm not.

[B]

2008.

[A]

It was 2008. Okay, so you were a grown woman. Grown woman coming out. And then it created a tension and a dynamic with your mom, which makes sense. I understand how that could be.

[B]

Yeah. That to be my four. I was probably 40.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But like, grown. Making your own money. Have a name for yourself, celebrated by all of us, all of our favorite. And then coming out to your mom and then it Creates a dynamic. Was it a conversation that. Was it, like, one conversation? And then she was like, I don't understand, and I don't accept.

[B]

Yeah, it was like she, like, just fell apart. Broke her heart. And it was because I told her before, you know, I probably told her maybe. Maybe four years before.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And she. Yeah, she just had a big. Just. Just a breakdown. And why, God, what did I do? And I'm like, oh, really? You gonna make this about you, right? Making this about you.

[A]

Say, wait, why is she breaking. What. Now you're comforting her?

[B]

What did you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I was like, I can't. I can't do this. I can't do this with you, Mom.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I can't do this with you.

[A]

So she could have been an actress almost. It's giving. I would have watched that film. Why? God, I've had one breakdown like that, and I. I couldn't stop myself from having it right in real time. It's a crazy story. It's because I was freezing my eggs.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And they were supposed to put. They give you, like, a box of. Just needles and I'm not. And syringes.

[B]

Oh, to. To prepare.

[A]

Yeah, but, like, you're in charge, but you basically become a nurse, which I think is kind of messed up. I think that's a lot of responsibility for a person. So they send you with all these things and. And you don't know what any of it is because you're not a nurse. So you're like, I don't know. They told me, get five of this thing. You go call this pharmacy to say, fill this prescription from this clinic, the fertility clinic, or whatever. And they gave me a box of stuff. I was like, presumably all of the things are here, because I don't know what any of it is. It's like reading foreign language. Okay. So on the last day, I've done everything diligently. I even left a dinner party once to go give myself my shot. Right. At 7pm I was like, I'll be back. Gotta go give myself a shot in the belly. And so. So diligent. And on the last day, you're where I went. You're supposed to do two shots on the last day right before they do the retrieval the next day. And I go to get. And I was like, wow, thank God. I haven't had any moments because I know I'm full of hormones. And I've. I've been told I could get emotional. I'm like, I haven't gotten emotional. Well, I go to look in the fridge on the last day, and it's 10:45 when I'm supposed to give myself the shot. PM I open, there's one shot in there. There's, like, one thing. And they had given me multiple of the thing, the one version. So I didn't notice that this other injection was not in there. Wanda, I was like your mom that day. Why? God, I think. I just think I called my sister, and I remember sliding down the wall. And so I had this awareness, like, you're doing too much. But I couldn't stop it. I was like, you're being so dramatic. But I could not get myself to stop. I was like, the other shot is missing. But again, like your mother, I've made this about me, and we're gonna go back to you.

[B]

Okay? I enjoyed it.

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[A]

Was your brother supportive of you? Always.

[B]

Eh.

[A]

Okay. Okay. You seem to have a lot of grace, though. Does that seem accurate?

[B]

Because you have to, you know, it's you, you do. You have to give people grace. Exactly how, you know, grace has been given to you. So I, Yeah, I try to do that.

[A]

That makes sense.

[B]

Yeah. Let people, let people work through this stuff, man.

[A]

And you're patient.

[B]

That.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

Well.

[A]

Oh, we landed on something.

[B]

I am, I am to an extent. You know, but my patience isn't. I'm gonna sit here and be patient with them. My, my patient is, girl, I ain't got time for that.

[A]

Right?

[B]

That's, that's, that's my patience.

[A]

Okay. That's.

[B]

I'm, I'm gonna let you deal with that. I ain't got time for that. I don't have time and I'm moving on.

[A]

But I love it. It's boundaries, though. And then people always kind of come around, right? They always do. That's really beautiful.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have kids, Wanda?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. How many?

[B]

Twins.

[A]

Twins?

[B]

16.

[A]

16 year olds. Oh, are they driving yet they just.

[B]

Got their learner's permit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And my daughter's driving and. But my son, he's off doing other stuff right now.

[A]

He doesn't worry about driving.

[B]

He's not worried about driving.

[A]

I always find that so interesting because when I was in Maryland, it was 15 and nine months. You could get yours, you remember? Okay. I. At 15 and nine months, like this March 10th, April 10th, I was there. Yeah. Is that correct? 15 and nine months. I'm doing math wrong. But anyway, point is 15 to nine months. I was like, I'm off. I'm getting my. I'm getting my permit today. I wanted. I wanted to drive so badly. I wanted the independence. I wanted to be able to skirt myself around. And so anytime I meet someone grown, I know so many grown people, especially because I live in New York, are like, I've never driven a car and I don't have interest.

[B]

Isn't that crazy?

[A]

It's crazy to me. It's crazy to me. Some of them have moved here, even to la, and they're like, I just, I don't. I'm not interested in learning how to drive. And I'm like, that's all I ever wanted was to drive. So your son is like that. He's like, I'm not tripping.

[B]

Yeah. Also, he's going to school in France right now, so he. Yeah, so. So he's like, when I get back here. Okay.

[A]

Do you think he'll be. I feel like he's going to come back here and be like, I don't care.

[B]

You better.

[A]

Yeah. You're like, I'm not. We're not doing it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So has being a parent made you more patient than you maybe were before you had kids?

[B]

I think so, yes. Yeah, I think so.

[A]

In what way?

[B]

Is it more patient or. I think it's being a parent. You have. Have to put in your mind that you're not the most important thing. You're, you know, like, whatever. Okay. That's might be what you want, but it's not happening. And you just have to put yourself on the back burner for a minute.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So it's not patience. It's just. Okay.

[A]

It's almost like surrender in a sense. Like surrender and be like. Yeah. Because I. I think about parenting, it's good that. I mean, if you could learn surrender and if I could learn surrender in other ways in my life, things would just be better all around. But I'm like, you as an individual without kids, I'm like, yeah, everything is Kind of in my world, kind of when I would like to do the thing contingent upon other people occasionally.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

But I'm like, everything'. When I would like to do the thing, how I would like to do the thing in my space. And when you think about being responsible for another. I have a dog. And even that has made me so sweet. Angel. His name is Chief. He is. Do you have any dogs?

[B]

I. I had. I had. Yeah, I had a dog, Riley. He was almost 18 years. Still miss him. He's been gone, what, four years? And then we had a Chihuahua, Simon, and just back in August, had to say goodbye to him.

[A]

I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

[B]

He was almost 19.

[A]

Oh, wow. You spend a long time with them. I mean, when I first got my puppy, because I had him as a puppy, I was like, yes. Everything right now is not about me. And I'm kind of having to change my schedule because I've raised that little dog. But I'm like, this is a good practice for me, a person who wants children. I'm like, to go. I have to keep you in mind. And some things like him having diarrhea or vomiting at the most inconvenient times. And I'm like, this is right now what I was about to go do on the back burner lineup to tend to you. I do think it sounds silly, but I'm like, I do really think it's kind of practice.

[B]

No, no, you're absolutely right. I felt that with. With Riley. When I met my wife, I had Riley. And I don't think if I had. If I hadn't had.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Yeah. Riley, I wouldn't have been in any shape to. Okay, yeah. Have this relationship and kids and all that.

[A]

Right. It's crazy how that feels.

[B]

I've been out here in these streets. If I had Owens, Riley made me go home. Really?

[A]

Yeah. But also, Juana, there is nothing outside.

[B]

Nothing. Oh, God, no. Nothing I'm not missing.

[A]

And I know that you know that now, but for other people who are back then.

[B]

I'm talking back then.

[A]

Back then, was there stuff outside?

[B]

Oh, back then it was a lot outside.

[A]

I wish I would have been grown.

[B]

Enough back then, man. Back then, it was all kind of stuff.

[A]

Tell me about it. What was outside? It was. Wait, tell me.

[B]

After our spots and all, there was nothing.

[A]

There's nothing. You want to be at home with your. Yeah. And I similarly. Right. And I'm. And I don't have the partner and the kids, but I'm like, just let me be at the house with my dog. When I got him, though, at first I was like, like, this is a huge responsibility that I feel like people don't speak about. Enough. Getting a puppy. Did you have Riley as a puppy?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah. That is a lot of responsibility because everyone's like, here's my cute dog. Here's a picture of my dog. I'm walking my dog. That's nice. But then the reality of it is like waking up every three hours because this little animal that is either gonna poo and pee all over your home needs to go or you're gonna let them do it on your rug again. For the hundredth time. I just remember being like, what have I done? I might need to give him back. I mean, that's the truth. And since he's a dog, he'll never know that I thought that. But I'm just confessing here. And I'd have friends who have had to give dogs back because they're like, didn't realize it would be this much of a responsibility.

[B]

That's funny because I felt that when we brought the twins home, really, I love the same thing in the hospital. It was good. And then we got home and they were both napping and I'm like looking at Alex and we're like, oh, this is cool. We got this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Then, you know, they. They went on. They were cool. And it was time to go to bed. Soon as we put them in the bed, we laid down and was like, ah. And it's like, oh, okay, I got this.

[A]

Right.

[B]

And the other one. So. And then it came like both of them back and forth, back and forth. Like, feed this one. No, no, no, wait. No, no. Change this one. Feed this one.

[A]

And.

[B]

And I really said we might have to take one back.

[A]

Not take one back.

[B]

Yeah, I said we might have to give one back.

[A]

Not one, two. It's a lot. I mean, I. They say like twins. Having twins is generational too, as well in genetics or something like that. And I think my generation, my family is due for twins. Oh, and I'm scared. Cuz I would. I would be too scared to have twins because. Exactly what you're describing. I feel like my head would be spinning.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's what it was. You're like, we might have to take one back.

[B]

Yeah. We were lucky because the. I'm telling all her business. Because you don't have to say the name. Yeah. Because my wife was like, oh, we can put. We should put. The doctor said that there's three good eggs. So we should put. Maybe put the three back? I said, no, no, no. Two is tops.

[A]

Two is tops. Two is tops. I feel like plenty.

[B]

I said, if we put two, we get one. We're winning.

[A]

Yes. Yeah.

[B]

If we put two, get two. Whew.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But we'll do it. We got it. I'm so glad you did it. I said, but if we get three, one staying here. It's like, once. One staying here. I'm telling you that right now.

[A]

Leaving them at the.

[B]

I'm gonna pray for one of them to eat one. We're not doing this. We're not doing three.

[A]

But then you wouldn't even want to keep the baby that ate the other baby, because you're like, that's a different kind of baby. That's a different kind of child. Gonna grow up to be something.

[B]

That's something else. Yeah.

[A]

That's gonna grow up to be something.

[B]

I know.

[A]

That's twins. Twins. God bless all the parents out there raising twins or triplets or more. I'm like, God bless.

[B]

Just nowadays, just raising kids is a lot. One.

[A]

My mom is one of nine.

[B]

Damn.

[A]

God damn. That's what I say. I'm like, how?

[B]

But there's big families.

[A]

Really? One of the sets of kids that's nine, three are a set of triplets. So, like, technically gave birth. I'm gonna be bad at math right now. Three, six times? Something like that. Yeah. It's crazy. It's crazy. Or seven times. Anyway. How many siblings do each of your parents have, roughly.

[B]

Okay. I think my. It's both of them somewhere between seven and. And nine.

[A]

And that was so normal. And now it's like. And I used to think because I'm one of four, and for whatever reason when I was a kid, I'm like, I want four kids. Because I was one of four. And now each year of life, I go one less, one less. Every few years. I'm like, actually, one would be. One's good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Or maybe a timeshare.

[A]

Ye. Exactly. We don't need to do all of that. We don't need to do all of that. So what are you. How would you describe this phase of your life, though?

[B]

I'm in a good space, and it's trying to just figure out what's the. What's the next thing? I guess more of a challenge, I think.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Or it's more of the. Of creating projects.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I think. Yeah. Instead of. It's always. Well, I shouldn't say always, because we just did the upshaws, and I created that. But it's, you know, it's always getting hired for different projects, which I. Which I'm grateful for, but I think I want to. Yeah. Create some stuff now.

[A]

Yeah. That's when you say a challenge. Is it? Because that's not something you've done as regularly as you would like to. Is. Is that.

[B]

Well, I think it's because of the. Of the type of project I'm trying to think of to do, you know, it's more that. Okay. Yeah.

[A]

And in the midst of that, what made you want to go on tour? Obviously you have more jokes to tell, more to say to us. And is that that was it or is it. Is there any other reason that you'd be like, I would want to go on tour?

[B]

I. I love doing stand up. I love, you know, touring. Well, I shouldn't say I love touring, but I love doing stand up.

[A]

It's hard. Yeah. That's. The road sounds really hard.

[B]

It's hard.

[A]

It sounds lovely. Until you're doing it. I remember.

[B]

But it's not like I'm standing, you know, like a cheap motel, you know, it's like, we do it right. Know that.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know that. Yeah, it's nice. It's nice. Travel first class.

[A]

It's nice. It's not. It's nice.

[B]

Yeah, but it's still. It's just getting up and. Ah, yes.

[A]

But staying, like one night in a play. I don't know if you're having multiple nights in multiple.

[B]

No, it's one night.

[A]

Yeah, but like one night, take off the next day in time for check off, checkout in order to get to the next city. It's a little bit of a grind.

[B]

It is.

[A]

And it's not to complain because how blessed are we to get to do what we do? But it's such an interesting thing when I've romanticized being on the road and getting to see every little city. And I've gone on tours with podcasts, I've done. I've done shows myself. And I'm like, this is a grind. Like, truly. Because you say, yeah, I've been to Portland, but I haven't really been to Portland. I did a show in Portland. Like, people be like, how was it? I don't know. I got in and out, unfortunately.

[B]

Fortunately. Exactly.

[A]

But. So you're. You're enjoying, though, you enjoy not necessarily being on the road, but live performing?

[B]

Of course I do.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I still love that.

[A]

Yeah. That's beautiful. Do either of your kids want to be in the business?

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

How would you respond? Should they. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

If they want to do it, you know, I, I'd be supportive. I mean, I wouldn't help them, but I'd be supportive.

[A]

You're not going to let them take advantage of a little nepotism?

[B]

No, no.

[A]

See, I think it's great. I'm gonna have nepo babies. I'm like, I cannot wait to have a nepo baby. You. You're so when you, you're really not going to help them, like, not in. Of course, like, as a parent would, but you're not going to be like, hey, get them in there and do. If they were like, I want to do this, they got to figure it out.

[B]

Well, they have to have the talent.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I can't help them with that.

[A]

Hopefully some of it passes on.

[B]

Yeah. If they don't have the talent, I'm.

[A]

Just like, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I can't send you over there like this.

[A]

Not mine.

[B]

You don't want to do this.

[A]

Are you really honest with your kids in general?

[B]

In general? Yes, in general. But I, I'm not. Yeah. I don't, I don't, I don't lie to them, but I'm not going to. I'm, I don't. You. I'm not going to try to crush them. I'm always trying lift them up. Yeah.

[A]

Are there any ways that you approach parenting that are unlike the ways parent. You were parented? So where you're like, I'm trying to do something different here than my parents had.

[B]

I try to listen.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah. I do listen to them. And, and I allow them to. Let's, let's discuss this. And you can ask me why I said no, like, growing up. It was because I said so.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That was it. It.

[A]

Which is. Yeah, it was. I mean, who knows what ways the. This, I would say this new era of parenting that has emerged and in the recent years will be messed up. But I'm like, this is so much more lovely. And I'm like, I wish somebody had asked me, let me have a conversation with them. But I know it's like nobody wants to be talking to a little kid, but I'm actually. Kids have something to say sometimes.

[B]

They do.

[A]

Yeah. And so giving them that space. I do agree. I. I mean, I don't have kids is important, but I also imagine that at times it is a test of patience too.

[B]

It is.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you approach it with.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, we're not going to have a full on. You know, I, you know what? I'm saying I'm gonna let you get a few questions off and then that's. That's it.

[A]

That's it. Yeah.

[B]

I mean, everything always leads to. Because I said so. Yeah.

[A]

Okay. But at least.

[B]

But I'm gonna get you there steps first.

[A]

Make you feel like it's not just because I said. Right. But we both know now it's because I said so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I respect.

[B]

Sometimes I go, I don't know, I'm just getting them feeling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And they're like, what? I don't know. Just don't feel like you should go. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, to parties and things like that. But also a parent's intuition though.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That I'm older. I can have. I have an immense respect for it now because before growing up, like, certain. My mom at times would be like, you're never sleeping over those people's house again. I'd be like, why? But now I understand. She's like, when I went to drop you off. Strange folks.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She still let me spend the night though. She's like, I'm willing to gamble, but not again after this.

[B]

She was probably parked out in front of the house. Yeah.

[A]

The whole time knowing her. Right. But I'm like, a parent's intuition is real.

[B]

It's real. I was in college and. And we were lived in this house. It was on campus, but you know, all these roommates, it's like four of us. And we were getting ready to go to this party. We were gonna go leave Hampton and go over to Norfolk to this party. We were all getting dressed, you know, whatever. And Tracy got a phone call. So she goes, payphone, you know, Tracy's mom. So Tracy's on the phone with her mom and she's like, uh huh. Uh huh. Okay. Yeah. All right. So she comes back upstairs, she goes, guys, we can't go. And we were like, what? And she's like, I just talked to my mom and you know, she said. Asked what we were doing. I told her we were going out. She said she felt something and that we shouldn't go. And we were like, damn, how did.

[A]

She take that call? Yeah.

[B]

And we didn't go.

[A]

You didn't go, cousin.

[B]

We didn't go.

[A]

Did we find out that anything happened at the first?

[B]

I don't know. I was like, somebody better get shot in Norfolk tonight. I said, it better if we wake up tomorrow morning and nobody got shot. Oh, Tracy, I need to talk to your mom.

[A]

Tracy's out the friend group. Out of the friend group. That's a mess. But. But it's true though. I, I, it's, it's, it's interesting. Like I missed a flight recently and I like to tell myself though, I'm like, it's cuz I, I wasn't supposed.

[B]

To be on that plane.

[A]

I was supposed to be on that plane. Nothing happened on that plane, girl. You missed your flight. It doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be that, dear.

[B]

But you know what? It might not have been the flight. It could have been when you landed at that time, getting in the car, going to that place, something could have happened.

[A]

That is so, you know, true. It's true. Are you a person who believes everything happens for a reason? Yes, that's your. Yeah, yeah, I do. Have you ever heard people say like in that reason sometimes it's because you're being dumb? I've heard that. I believe everything happens for a reason every once in a while.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That silly to think.

[B]

No, yeah. I mean people, yeah, I've heard people say that. Yeah. Yeah. I believe I am where I'm supposed to be.

[A]

Right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you raise your kids with any sort of faith?

[B]

You know what, that's the area that I feel like I, I'm not gonna say failing at, but where I, I need to step up. But they're 16 now, so I don't know.

[A]

Okay, it might be late, it might be late.

[B]

But I've, I've always, you know, had we say grace before, you know, we eat and they see that I go to, you know, either go to church or online church or.

[A]

I love online church. From the comfort of your bed, Wanda. Praise the Lord. From this bed.

[B]

You know, you can order like the little communion. You can't stop it. Yes, yes.

[A]

Oh, you're never going to church.

[B]

You can get a little, the little thing and you just Right there.

[A]

Wait a minute, you're serious? Don't tell me this. Why would you tell me this? This? Cuz I'm trying to phys. I'm trying to get back into physically going.

[B]

Oh well, you know, definitely go. But I'm just saying.

[A]

Too late.

[B]

It's too late.

[A]

You've already told me that I get communion from bed and bed is my, I have established here that bed is my favorite place to be at all times. Don't tell me I'm doing communion from bed. In the name of the Father, the Son. Wow, okay, it's over. I'm not stepping foot in another building again. Communion from bed. Blessed, expressing myself. Wait, okay, so you do online, but you don't make them watch with you.

[B]

No, I don't. I don't. Here's the thing.

[A]

Tell me.

[B]

Because, you know, my church is black.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So. So I'm like, oh, Pastor, gonna slip up and say something today. You know, my kids are white, so.

[A]

It'S like.

[B]

You know.

[A]

Yeah. Wanda, you know what? But listen, I do get it, because everyone.

[B]

Which I want to say. Which he never does. My church is very loving, of course, and he's. Yeah, it's the best.

[A]

But just that. Just in case. That one off.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That fear that maybe this the one day you make them sit for church, it's gonna be the days that we don't like white people. Yeah, we don't like white people in this house, Pastor. What? Pastor. We hate to see it, because that would really turn them from God and understandably so.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So what made you not make them? Besides, like, not wanted them to hear the pastor say anything? He hasn't said yet. What has. What made you not in any way say, hey, we have to do this?

[B]

Well, honestly, also, it. I. I was also trying to find the church I'm in now. I was, you know, so I was bouncing around trying to find it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Church I like. So, yeah, I would let them watch. I would try to get them. You know, I will. I'm saying that's what my plan.

[A]

It's a goal. 2020.

[B]

I would like to take them physically to the building.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But we. We. I have, you know, like, it was one, like, Christmas Eve mass or whatever. There's a. A, Like a Unitarian church.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I'm like, this would be a. This is a good move.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I would. I'd take them there and.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But for me, I just. I don't feel. I don't feel like I've been to church. You know, it's like. Oh, okay.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Actually, I took my church, my son, recently to church.

[A]

You did? Wait, why? What happened?

[B]

I forgot about that. Yeah. On Fire island, there's a Episcopal church, but it's held in our community center on Sundays.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right. So he. Yeah, we went there.

[A]

Did he like it?

[B]

Yeah, he did.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

He did. He was like, all right, okay.

[A]

I see what that is. All right. But you don't feel the need to in any way impose faith on them, so.

[B]

You know, I do, but, like.

[A]

Oh, you want to.

[B]

I want to. And I feel like that's where I. I, you know, kind of failed.

[A]

I get what you're saying, but, like.

[B]

Because my parents gave that to me, at least it. It was there and maybe if I, you know, it was kind of not practicing for, you know, for a minute. It's all. It always been there. I could always tap into it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You know, like, if things were, like, really bad or I knew I could always tap into that to pull myself out of, you know, or for God to help me to pull my, you know, out of this. Whatever thing I was in. So I want them to have that. To know that.

[A]

That.

[B]

That they. They. There's always a place they can go. There's always. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. Did you ever flat out reject faith?

[B]

No.

[A]

No. See, neither. Neither have. I have some friends who have. And then have returned to it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But for me, I'm always like, it's a place for me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You want to show up and engage with your faith at all times in a dream, perfect world. Right. But that's not how it always goes. And some. Sometimes you're like, oh, I haven't tapped back in, and I haven't felt as connected to my faith, and now I would like to do that. And you make a point to. Or. But I've said to people, like, in my lowest moments, I'm like, I have that thing. I could go. I know. I know what to reach for. And so that's beautiful that you want to give that to your kids, because it sounds like you feel like it's a gift your parents gave you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And I have a friend who once said, in terms of imposing anything on her son, she and her partner at the time were like, we want to teach him something, because he's gonna look for something to believe in whether you show him the way or not. Like, people are. People want something to believe. I feel so. That's beautiful. And so your daughter hasn't been to church yet?

[B]

Not. Not with me like that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

No.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

But I. I will.

[A]

It's gonna happen. I feel it.

[B]

But see, but here's the other thing, too. I put this back on on my wife because when they were. Because when they were born, she was so, like. Like, focused and. And like, hell bent on getting them baptized. Like, she was raised Catholic.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I'm like, oh, okay. So she. She has the faith thing. I can roll with this.

[A]

Yeah, right.

[B]

Catholic.

[A]

She's.

[B]

I learned the Hail Mary thing.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Okay, whatever.

[A]

Right.

[B]

As long as they have something, I'm good with this.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's the same guy. We.

[A]

Okay, cool. Yeah.

[B]

And so, you know, she did all this, and we went to. To France. She got them baptized, and then that was it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And, you know, And I was like, aren't you supposed to be like classes and stuff? She's like, oh, no, we, we, you know, babe, that's too much. That's just like. So they're, she's, they're Catholic by name.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

But she's that way because her, her parents didn't really take them. Oh, really?

[A]

So she sought it out on her own.

[B]

Well, no, no, no, no, no, no. It was kind of like the same.

[A]

Way they, Same way they were like, oh, she baptized thing and then it does.

[B]

Yeah. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Wow. All right. And she had no follow up.

[B]

I was like, it was a follow up.

[A]

All of that. You pressed me to get them baptized. We got no follow. Because sometimes I think some people think you just do the thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then they're good. They're good, but they have to have their own, in my mind, relationship with it. Right. For it to be, to be probably what you want it to be. Right. That is really lovely that you said, she's got it. I'm sorry, I'm just imagining like, oh, cool, she really cares about this. And then you realize up under you're like, wait, no, you just kind of gave up crazy. That's. But you put it on her. You didn't told her business today.

[B]

I sure did.

[A]

And you've blamed her. Is this what being a partner is?

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Okay. I'm learning from you. I'm learning from you every step of the way. I have to ask, cuz I need advice.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For life. Okay, all right.

[B]

I got you.

[A]

Your longevity in this industry, that can be very fickle. Right. It's hard. It's. What you've done, I think is really remarkable. And how you have stayed so you and so funny and so relevant all these years, how does one do it? That's.

[B]

Oh, boy.

[A]

This segment is called. That was nice. But what about me?

[B]

What about me?

[A]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Okay. I. I had one goal.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Right when I started this business, you know, I, I even go, Go further back. I was working in the government and, you know, up at my job, that's how we sit in there.

[A]

I was at my job, my job at the government job. Good job, good job, good job.

[B]

And I, I just knew I wasn't happy. I knew it was something else that I, I was supposed to be doing. And, and I remember everyone saying how funny I was and you should be on stage and da, da, da. So I was like, okay, you know, I'm gonna try it. So did some jokes. And I knew immediately, like, this is what I Wanted to do. So my thing has. Had always been, and I want to be one of the funniest comedians comics. Not female, male, just across the board, period. Period. And that's what I work towards, and that's what I still work at, you know, and everything else kind of just happened from that. I did stand up and I opened up for Chris Rock when he was doing Bring the Pain. He was working on that. He remembered me. So when he got his show, hey, this is funny comic, Da da da da. Started writing. Oh. So now from my stand up, I. I'm now writing. I'm a writer. Okay, cool. But I'm still, you know, slinging these jokes. Still slinging these jokes. And then it's from. From there. Oh, we gonna put you in front of the camera. Oh, I. Oh, I guess, you know, and that happened because we. We had booked a crew to shoot some things, right. And still had, like, a couple hours left on the crew. You know, the producers are like, yeah, what y' all got? What y' all got? Come on, let's shoot something. It has to be quick. Wanda, get in front of this. And we're gonna do a video mama. You gonna, you know.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

So the babysitter. So I'm playing video mama. So now I'm in front of the camera. Oh, okay. And just things. But it all started from that one goal. And so I always just go back to that as far as. And that's why I'm still doing stand up. But everything just kind of fell from that and still just stayed me, you know?

[A]

Yes. And you're very clear in that way now, given how, like, what you have accomplished and the way we all see you and the expectation we all have of you, you have you bombed anytime in the last, like, five years.

[B]

Five years, I'm sure. Yeah.

[A]

And what does that feel like for you being Wanda? Sex. And people come in and like, we love Wanda. We love Wanda. Wanda is the funniest. What does it feel like? Are you. How do you take bombing now?

[B]

It hurts. It still hurts. And usually when it happens, it's at a, like, some charity event.

[A]

You're like, I didn't even have to do this.

[B]

I didn't have to do this shit. I didn't even have to be here.

[A]

You should say that on the way out. Drive. What do I do?

[B]

I'm like, this sucks, man. Y' all.

[A]

Like, why.

[B]

Why are y' all even having comments here? Like y' all talking over there. Whatever. Clinking, clink, clink, clink, clink. What the hell Just. Can I. You know what? Next time, I'm just gonna write a check. Yeah, I'm gonna write a check.

[A]

I'm not coming.

[B]

I'm not coming.

[A]

I promise. But you know what? Instead of the hook, y', all, you guys have been great tonight. You'll tell them you guys have sucked, ruined my.

[B]

Like, I'm not gonna sleep tonight.

[A]

Yeah. Tell them that on the way.

[B]

This is going to be on my mind. I'm not going to sleep tonight.

[A]

And are y' all okay with that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Yeah, write a check next time. But you never know which crowd.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Sometimes they surprise you where you're like, this is not the crowd that I thought would enjoy this material in this way or this much.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And then the crowds you think are going to be great, it's like. Yeah. The clink, clink, clinking, not paying attention. Heckling, heckling you. I think it's lovely that you tell them the truth on the way out. You don't have to say, you guys have been great.

[B]

No, you don't have to. Oh, you don't have to.

[A]

Okay. And you don't. Okay.

[B]

And. Yeah. Or it's. Especially now, you know, if. If there's, like, somebody doesn't agree with my politics, and they'll start saying something, and I have to argue back, whatever. And. And it's. It's the thing of I have to really tell myself, wanda, don't go ballistic. Just. That's one person. Yeah. So now my security, they. They know. They. So they just heard me. Get that person out. Okay. Because they're like, it'll go ugly. It'll get in my head, and I just get. And I just turn on everybody start.

[A]

Seeing red, and I don't like it. None of y'. All.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Since y' all are out there sitting out there with that person, you can all go to hell.

[B]

Just.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And then. Then I go too far, and then it's like, so, boy.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Getting old is crazy, isn't it? And they're all out there crying.

[A]

We all saw that. We can't. We can't move on. No, we can't just move on. Wanda. That was a lie.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know what? But it's crazy how in life, though, the psychology of. And it's like, evolutionary. Evolutionary, apparently, that to look out for threats. So, like, you see one negative comment or someone, One person is engaging with you negatively in the audience. You could have a crowd of 400 people and one person who is like, I don't agree with your politics. And I'm going to kind of say something about it. But like, like there are 399 people enjoying. But you're just like you. I am committed to getting you, demolishing you. Which is like it's, it is, it's evolutionary that we were meant to scan for threats and like address them. But it's so crazy how we still, still, we're not under the same risk anymore, but our brains still do that to us. Like all this love. But I need to focus on that one person. That one person so secure. I need to get security.

[B]

I didn't connect it with the evolution. Okay, that makes sense.

[A]

A little something Bible. I might have made it up. No, I did it. I didn't make that part up. I didn't make it up. I need to get security though. That's what I'm hearing. So they can address sick security on. This person left a nasty comment. Go get him. Find them. I want you to show up to their house and scare them. I really appreciate you being here and I know I've had a selfish moment where I got to get advice from you. We have a listener who needs advice. Would you be willing to give them advice as well? Okay, Kevin, we're ready to hear from them.

[B]

Hi, Eggo. Big fan. And Wanda, my best friend is engaged to a man that I literally could not give less of a fuck about. And I'm afraid that my role as like, best friend is being replaced by this guy that again, I don't really give a fuck about. Although he didn't vote.

[A]

Thanks.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Call me back. Call me back. I don't have his number.

[B]

But didn't vote. And. What?

[A]

He didn't vote? He said the guy didn't vote. He's like, I don't give a fuck about him, but he didn't vote. And was that it? Yeah, he's like, oh. He's like. I really don't give a. About him. Although he didn't vote. It was just like one little jab on to the man on the way out. Okay, so what would you say our listener does about this? Best friend engaged. It was layers to that.

[B]

It's so much.

[A]

There's. I wish we could ask follow up questions, but it's. And he said call him back, but we don't have his number.

[B]

Okay. His best friend is engaged. Look, I have friends that I'm not really involved with their, you know, with their partner. Um, but it doesn't, you know what I'm saying? Like, like it doesn't mean that that they shouldn't be together.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, it's. Obviously, it's something that she gets from. Or he. Or is it two guys?

[A]

We don't.

[B]

Okay. It's something that he gets from this other guy, this from his partner that makes him happy. Right. So your. Cause your thing is just. You're just supposed to be happy for your friend and make sure your friend is good. And maybe it'd be a situation where it's good that you don't give a fuck about this guy, because when your friend sounds off on him, you could be like that.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

I knew it.

[A]

I told you.

[B]

Exactly. Exactly.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you're that sounding board for. For your friends. So just, you know, hey, relationships are meant for us to work out childhood shit, basically.

[A]

Damn. That's what it is. Okay. I've been approaching it all wrong.

[B]

It's. It. Yeah. So you attract. You end up being attracted to somebody who. So you can actually have adult conversations with someone when you couldn't, you know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Have that conversation as a child.

[A]

I've heard this. That like, your relationships are just. You're reenacting childhood in many anyways. Yeah, but.

[B]

But as an adult now you get to speak as an adult. Yes, with some, you know, so. With some agency. So I think he should just stay out of his business. You know, maybe. Maybe he got good dick and that's. And that's all. And you know, he wants.

[A]

And I don't know.

[B]

Yeah, you don't know.

[A]

You don't know what.

[B]

You don't know what floats your best friend's boat?

[A]

Some good dick could be. Right.

[B]

That's what I'm saying. He's like. You think I'm talking to him.

[A]

We don't. We ain't talking. We don't talk.

[B]

We just. I'm just trying to lock this dick up.

[A]

I'm getting my. Doing the pipe is getting laid every night. I'm not worried about.

[B]

I have you to hang out with and go do culture and. And vote. I don't need to. You think I'm watching PBS with this? No.

[A]

You know what? That is so valid because also the listener said, I don't give a. About. I couldn't care less about. But I'm like, sounds like you don't like him, first of all. But you keep saying I don't give, so you're. You have to. To call it what it is. I think you don't like him. It's. That's giving. I don't like. And then no dig at the end and he didn't vote.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But he might have good dick, and that might be all your friend is looking for at this stage in their life.

[B]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, that's true. You know what? That is valid. And I hadn't even considered because. So. Because every once in a while, you will see a couple together. You won't even know if the other person is a good person or not, or they voted or not, whatever. And you're like, that is an interesting match, but somebody's got some good genitals.

[B]

Huh?

[A]

That's often what it is. You are so right. Right. I'm gonna think about that next time I see a mismatched couple.

[B]

Yep. See, you're like one of them. One of them doing something.

[A]

Somebody's doing something different.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Wanda, thank you so much for being here. I really appreciate you. Best wishes on the tour. Thank you. I pray nobody makes you see red. Nobody does that. And if they do, security gets them sickly. Okay.

[B]

Expedition.

[A]

Come on, Ti. I feel like he owns that word.

[B]

I know, right? I know.

[A]

Thank you so much. Really appreciate you. I'm so glad you could be here. Thank you. All right, folks. Folks. What? Where am I from? We've established that I'm from Maryland. We don't really say that word. I guess I can't speak for everyone there. Point is, I just talk to Wanda Sykes. That was very fun. I love the Maryland specifics of that conversation. Many of you may not like it, but, guys, that's okay. And I often talk about things people like and don't like on this podcast. And I'm here to say it. Whatever. It's okay, dog. I loved that conversation. She was so insightful, so funny, and getting to hear her talk about her children in sweet and savage ways was quite delightful for me. You know what I didn't get to talk to her about is Instagram use and how she feels about memes and reals. But if I were to guess, I think she ain't got time for that when we're talking about her patience. Right. I have a feeling she doesn't have the patience for endless reels and memes and TikToks all day. That was the sense I got. I don't want to pin her. Pin that on Wanda. But it's just a hunch. I'm intuitive, you see, like a parent. Anyway, if you want advice from me and my guest. Next guest. Some guests, please, I'm begging you. I'm begging you to call us and leave a voicemail at 502-8493. 2 3, 7. I remember the number. There's no teleprompter, baby. That's just right up here. Okay, 502-849-3237. That's 502. Thanks, THX dads. More than one. Bye. Thanks dad is a production of Will Ferrell's Big Money players and I iHeart podcast. I'm your host, Ego Wodem. Our producer is Kevin Bartelt and our executive producer is Matt Apodaca.

[B]

Okay, only 10 more presents to wrap. You're almost at the finish line, but. There the last one.

[A]

Enjoy a Coca Cola for a pause that refreshes. Ford was built on the belief that the world doesn't get to decide what you're capable of. You do. So ask yourself, can you or can't you? Can you load up a Ford F150 and build your dream with sweat and steel? Can you chase thrills and conquer curves in a Mustang? Can you take a Bronco to where the map ends and adventure begins? Whether you think you can or think you can't, you're right. Ready, Set. Ford. This is Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang from Las Culturistas with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. JBL Tour Pro 3 earbuds are for those who don't conform to the standard. Yeah, I you want to get into some touchscreen technology? How about the smart charging case Clear sound. These are not standard things. You're only going to get them with the JBL Tour Pro 3, baby. And I love the sound of JBL when it goes. These earbuds are packed with innovation because you can't stand out by following others. Touchscreen Smart charging case for one touch control. Instant EQ customization, true adaptive noise cancelling and and the one of a kind audio transmitter which can plug and play with everything from game consoles to in flight entertainment. What more could you want? First doesn't follow. Grab a [e-mail] Look Santa, the kids left you.

[B]

Pepperidge Farm cookies.

[A]

Milano mint chocolate, so rich. Chessman butter cookies, so buttery. And linzo raspberry.

[B]

A holiday classic. These are fancy Santa.

[A]

Fancy Santa. Fancy Santa.

[B]

Designer cologne.

[A]

Spritz me. Vintage timepiece.

[B]

Classy o'.

[A]

Clock.

[B]

Gold chain with diamonds. Now that's fancy.

[A]

Pepperidge Farm cookies. Fancy a taste. Thursday Night Football is on. And it's only on prime video. Wide open touchdown. This week the Dallas Cowboys and Detroit Lions face off in a high octane team clash. Look at this.

[B]

It's on.

[A]

The money Coverage begins at 7pm Eastern with Football's Best Party TNF Tonight, presented by Verizon. Not a Prime member. Not a problem. Simply sign up for a 30 day free trial. It's the Cowboys and lions, Thursday at 7pm Eastern only on Prime Video. Restrictions apply. See Amazon.com Amazon prime for details. This is an iHeart podcast.

[B]

Guaranteed Human.