Give Me 15 Minutes And I Will Teach You How To Impress Anyone - The $100 MBA Show

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[00:00]
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And this just in The Comcast Business Price Lock Guarantee is back. For a limited time you can lock in the same great rate on gig speed, Internet and advanced security for five years, all from the company with 99.9% network reliability. Switch to the Comcast Business 5 Year Price Lock Guarantee today. Learn more at comcastbusiness.com ends March 29, 2026 ready to save on New Tech? It's time for Dell Tech Day's annual sales event celebrating our customers with fantastic deals and benefits. Perks include Dell Rewards, free shipping, premium Support and more. PCs like the Dell 14 with Intel Core Ultra processors will help you do more faster and with a premium suite of monitors and accessories, you can upgrade your whole setup with amazing savings. Visit Dell.com deals. If you've ever walked into a room and felt invisible, this is why, whether you realize it or not, people decide how much they trust you within seconds. In the next 15 minutes, I'm going to show you exactly how to make a powerful first impression. The kind that helps you close more sales, stand out immediately in networking events, and leave a lasting impression on people that you admire. Welcome back to the $100 NBA show. I'm your host Omar Zenholm, where I deliver practical business lessons three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday to help you start, grow and scale your business. I got a quick favor to ask if this show has helped you in any way, leave me a quick review. You could do so wherever you listen to podcasts. This helps me and my team reach even more people who need the same no fluff practical business advice that you're getting from the show. It only takes a few seconds, but it makes a huge difference. Thanks for being a part of our journey to help others on their journey. Journey. What I'm about to share with you works. Whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, young, experienced, unknown, well established, it doesn't matter. I'm going to break down the five techniques rooted in human psychology. The same techniques I use to make immediate positive impact the moment I walk into any room or join any zoom call. And fair warning, technique number five is unusually powerful. I rarely share it because in the wrong hands, it could be misused. Let's start with technique number one. Appearances matter. All right, let's just get this out of the way right now. Appearances do matter. Not forever, but in the first moment, they're going to take a look at you. Whether you like it or not, they're going to make a judgment subconsciously, consciously about you. The moment they lay Eyes on you. Your appearance in the first moments is doing all the talking before you even open your mouth. It doesn't mean you need to wear expensive brands or look like a fashion influencer. It does mean, though, that you should make some effort. Work on your grooming. Be well groomed. Your clothes need to be clean and intentional. Here's a confession. I invested in a personal stylist because of this one single fact. People will judge you based on how much you take care of yourself, how much you actually care about yourself. And please, this next one matters more than people realize. Smile, okay? Make eye contact. And please, for the love of God, put your phone away. If your phone is in your hand while you're talking to someone, you're silently saying, you're not the most important thing in front of me right now. If something happens here, I'm going to pay attention to it over you. If you must have your phone out, just leave the room. It's just more respectful. If your wife is pregnant and you're expecting a call and you see a buzzing, just excuse yourself and leave the room. Technique number two, Slow down. This one took me ages to learn, and I'm still working on it. Most people speed up when they're nervous. They talk faster. They explain more. They oversell. That does not come across as confident. Just the opposite. Confident people speak slower. They pause. They let silence do some of the work. And here's the truth. Silence doesn't make you awkward. Silence makes other people lean in. It allows them to soak up what you just shared. So say less, pause more, and let your words land in. Stage acting, they call that gravitas. Confidence isn't loud. It's controlled. Technique number three, Ask questions that make people feel interesting. Most conversations die because people ask boring questions. They ask questions like, what do you do? How long you've been doing that? So are you busy these days? That's not a conversation. That is a survey. A form. Right? Instead, ask questions that unlock some depth, like, what part of your work actually excites you? Another question could be like, what's something people misunderstand about what you do? Here's another. What are you trying to get better at these days? Here's why this works. People love talking about the part of themselves they don't usually get to share. If somebody walks away from you thinking that was a good conversation, what that really means is, I felt interesting around that person. That's influence. You're really changing the way they feel. If you're enjoying this episode and want more practical Business insights like this. Subscribe to the show so you don't miss a coming episode that I've been working on. It's all about an experiment that I do where I lock myself in a hotel room to see if I can build a profitable SaaS business in just 7 days using AI. I wanted to see if this AI hype is real and if you can build a real business with it. So subscribe to the show so you don't miss it when that episode drops. Technique number four, Match energy. You don't need to be yourself harder, right? You need to read the room. If someone is calm and analytical, don't come in like a motivational speaker. On the other side of the spectrum, if someone is high energy, don't respond like you're about to fall asleep. This isn't manipulation, it's respect. I learned this from books like Robert Cialdini's book Influence and Chris Voss book Never Split the Difference. It's called mirroring. People feel safe with those who speak their language. When someone thinks, this person gets me, trust starts to form instantly. And that's how rapport actually works. People want to feel like other people understand them, and even just if you mirror their energy, they feel like we're on the same wavelength. Technique number five, Leave them feeling better than before. This one is the most powerful one. And this is where most people get it wrong. Impressive. People don't try to sound smart. They make other people feel smart, capable, and seen. Your goal when you're speaking to someone is not to impress them during the conversation, right? You're not trying to, like, wow them with how much you know your goal is when they walk away. They should feel slightly more confident when they meet you. If they feel better about themselves, you do this by reflecting strength back to them. So how do you do this? When somebody is saying something, sharing something that's interesting, you want to make sure you recognize it. You want to say things like, that's a sharp way to think about it, or most people wouldn't catch that. That's a good instinct. Or when they teach you something new, you could say something like, you clearly know your stuff. The key here is I don't want you to pander. Be honest. And a good rule of thumb is don't just praise their accomplishments. Praise their judgment and their character, because that's who they are. That hits it deeper. People may forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel when they are around you. Use this technique wisely and please don't Just completely pour on the praise you want to point out genuinely when somebody is actually using good judgment.
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so how do you practice this without feeling fake or being fake? Well, my first piece of advice is don't try all five at once. Okay? Pick one technique each time you have a meeting or a conversation or an interaction, observe what changes after the conversation. This isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming somebody who's removing friction from the interaction. You want people to feel like, hey, this person always has a smooth conversation with me. I don't feel awkward. Things kind of just flow. And these five techniques allow you to do that. And then when they leave you, they feel like this person was valuable. And that's really what you want to do. You want to be a person of value. I want to give you a challenge, some homework, if you will. I want you to organize a dinner with three or more people. They could be colleagues, they could be fellow entrepreneurs, they could be friends. I'm serious. Not yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe one day. I mean, actually do it. Create that WhatsApp group and start inviting people today. Lock in the date. Book a restaurant and choose a quiet restaurant, by the way, not some loud pub where everyone's yelling over each other and you really can't have a good conversation. This is intentional. We're not hanging out. We're practicing a skill. I want you to choose one of the five techniques I shared with you today, and I want you to genuinely give it a go. Give it a shot. Now, you don't have to do all five. Just choose one. Here are the techniques again, Technique number one, appearances matter. Number two, slow down. Number three, ask interesting questions. Number four, match energy. And number five, leave them feeling better than before. Pick one and commit to it for the entire dinner. And here's the important part. You're not trying to be smooth here. You're not trying to impress anyone. You are running an internal experiment with yourself. Let me make this as practical as possible. If you choose, for example, to slow down, that means you pause before answering. You don't rush and fill the silence. You let people finish their thoughts fully before you jump in. These are the things you're going to actively do during the dinner. If you decide to choose the Ask Interesting Questions technique, that means you're not going to ask questions like, so what did you do this week? Right? You're going to ask something like, what's something you've been working on right now that you can't stop thinking about? Or what's been unexpectedly challenging about this past year or month, or even what's a win you haven't celebrated yet? If you're going to choose match energy, that means during the dinner, you're not going to overpower quiet people. You're not going to pull down excited people. You're going to meet people where they are instead of pulling them where you want them to be. If you choose leaving them feeling better than before, that means you're listening for moments where someone doubts themselves. You reflect back their strengths. You remind them that, hey, you're awesome. And you remind them of the things that they have already overcome. Or maybe you choose the first one. I went out of order on purpose here. Okay, the first one was appearances matter. That doesn't mean you have to wear a Rolex or pretend you're something you're not. It means you can show up as you are, but you're going to show up with a little bit more intention, with a little bit more care. Maybe you're going to show up a little bit fancier than you normally show up. You want to look like you really respect yourself because people subconsciously take cues from that. You're going to make eye contact, you're going to smile, you're going to put your phone away. And I decided to save this one as the last example because a lot of people will find this one the most challenging. To make a little bit of an effort externally, but also the way they show up at the actual gathering at the dinner to give people their undivided attention and really just be present. After the dinner, do something most people never do okay? Ask for feedback. Go into that WhatsApp group and say something like, hey, I had a great time tonight. Quick question. Did you guys enjoy the dinner? And what stood out for you? You don't need essays and you don't need validations. Not why you're doing this. You're really just collecting data now? Yes, these are your friends, and yes, these are people you already know. And that's the point. This is practice. So when you meet someone important for the first time, a potential business partner, a client, an investor, a future hire, you're not experimenting on them for the first time, right? You already rehearsed this. People massively underestimate the power of rehearsal. We rehearse for presentations, we rehearse for interviews, we rehearse for pitches. But when it comes to human connection, people just wing it and hope for the best. Stop winging it in life. Just stop it. Because it's not serving you. Allow yourself to get used to doing something new in a safe space with people that you trust, and you'll nail it when it really matters. Anybody that's great at anything has practiced that thing way more than you can imagine. Charisma looks natural. Leadership looks effortless. You know, confidence looks like talent. But behind all that is a lot of repetition. Before I wrap up this episode, I want to share with you a personal and very embarrassing story. When I was 25 years old, I got promoted to be the head of department of grade 10 at the school I was working for. If you don't know, I was a teacher for a very long time before I was an entrepreneur. I was now leading and managing 32 teachers. Many of them were twice my age. I got promoted on a Thursday, and on Friday, I had to run a full staff meeting with all 32 teachers and introduce myself and tell them, hey, I'm your new manager. Less than 24 hours earlier, I was just another teacher sitting beside them in those meetings, right? I was beyond nervous for this meeting that I had to chair and run and introduce myself. My knees were literally knocking minutes before I had to walk into that meeting room. My mouth was dry, my brain was really racing, and all I knew was that this was really a critical moment. My first impression in front of my team. And first impressions last, especially when the power dynamics change, right? I wanted to show them that even though I was young and even though I was new at this job, I should be taken seriously. But here was the problem. I could barely make eye contact with anybody. I was so nervous. My instincts was to overcompensate to come in strong, to act tough, to sound like the boss. Right? My original plan was to introduce myself and explain how I like to run things and tell them, this is how it's going to be from now on. Next week, going to stay late and grade papers. And that's the job. Deal with it. Very authoritarian. I thought that's how I would get respect. Right? It was also very fake and very not me. Moments before the meeting, I was rehearsing that speech out loud in my office. And halfway through, I just stopped. And I literally said to myself, I can't do this. I can't be that guy. That's not me. So I decided to do the opposite. I walked into that meeting room, all 32 teachers were looking at me. I took a deep breath, and I said this. Hey, team. As you know, I'm the new grade 10 head of department. And honestly, I'm very nervous because I really want to do a great job. And I want you all to see that I'm doing a great job. But I can't do this alone. We can only succeed as a team if we all do our best, if we all do it together. So I need you to tell me what you need so you can do your best. I'll do everything I can to make that happen with management. All of a sudden, it felt like the room changed. Everything just felt different. So I continued. I said, you're all talented teachers. I know that because I've worked beside you for years. But our job also require us to do extra things students never really see, like grading papers. Next week we have exams, and those papers, they're not going to grade themselves, right. They're not going to correct themselves. So we're going to work on them together as a team for an extra two hours next Thursday, I'll be here with you. All hands on deck. And then I finished with this. I was planning to tell you today what kind of leader I'm going to be, but I'll just let you see for yourself. That was it. And it just came natural to me because it was honest. No power playing, no pretending, no putting up any armor, just honesty, you know, I delivered those words slowly and sincerely. And I made a very different impression that day. Not a loud one, not a dominant one, just an honest one. And the results speak for themselves. The team produced the best results a school ever has seen that year. Multiple teachers later told me something that stuck with me forever. They said that was the first time we felt seen and appreciated by leadership. That moment taught me Something I'll never forget. And that was, you don't need to be something you're not, okay? You just need to be a better version of who you already are. These techniques work not because they're clever, not because they're tricks, but because people remember how you made them feel. So go book that dinner. This homework I'm giving you, pick one technique and practice it deliberately. And stop leaving something this important to chance. Before I go, I want to leave you with this. Everything I shared with you can be done effortlessly. All five techniques show that you've putting some effort and some thought into how you interact with others. By just doing that, by making an effort, you become exceptional. Because 99% of people in the world, they just wing it. They don't really have a plan when they actually interact with people. The Italians have a great saying and it goes like this. When you go out to see the world, the world sees you make the right impression when you leave your home and interact with the world. If this episode resonated with you and you feel like this podcast is really helping you up your game, then I recommend you listen to this episode next. It's an episode that I published that is a must read episode where I talk about a book that really has influenced me in a big way. And that book is Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield. It's about crossing that line from dabbling to showing up like a professional. And it pairs perfectly with everything we talked about today. If you found today's episode helpful and you want more practical business lessons to help you start, grow and scale your business business, the best thing you could do is subscribe to this podcast, hit subscribe or follow on your favorite podcast app, the one that you're using right now, whether it's Apple or Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts, by hitting subscribe, you get our next episode automatically. And it's the best way to support the show. It's absolutely free and it's a way for you to commit to growing your business. And now that you subscribed, I'll check you in the next episode.
[19:46]
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Summary5 min read

Podcast Summary: The $100 MBA Show
Host: Omar Zenhom
Episode Title: Give Me 15 Minutes And I Will Teach You How To Impress Anyone
Release Date: February 27, 2026

Episode Overview

In this actionable and direct episode, Omar Zenhom dives deep into the art and science of making powerful first impressions—a critical skill in sales, networking, and everyday professional life. Drawing on two decades of entrepreneurship and management experience, Omar distinctively outlines five psychological techniques that anyone can master to impress others and leave a lasting, positive impact. He emphasizes authenticity and practical rehearsal, providing listeners with an immediate homework assignment to practice these skills in a real-world setting.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Psychology of First Impressions

Snap Judgments: People form trust impressions within seconds of meeting you.
Universal Application: These techniques work regardless of your personality, age, or experience level.
Goal: To help listeners instantly stand out, build trust, and be memorable—without needing fancy resources.

The Five Techniques to Impress Anyone

1. Appearances Matter (03:31)

First Impressions: People will judge you the moment they see you—before you speak.
Not about luxury: “You don’t need to wear expensive brands or look like a fashion influencer. It does mean, though, that you should make some effort.” (Omar, 03:51)
Practical Tips:
- Be well-groomed and intentional with clothing.
- Smile, make eye contact, and keep your phone out of sight.
- “If your phone is in your hand while you’re talking, you’re silently saying, you’re not the most important thing in front of me.” (Omar, 04:35)

2. Slow Down (05:05)

Confidence & Pace: Nervousness often leads people to rush. Genuine confidence is expressed by speaking slowly and pausing.
Impact of Silence: “Silence doesn’t make you awkward. Silence makes other people lean in.” (Omar, 05:35)
Stage Acting Tip: Embrace gravitas by being controlled, not loud.

3. Ask Questions That Make People Feel Interesting (06:03)

Avoid Boring Questions: Ditch surveys like “What do you do?” for questions that show real curiosity.
Sample Questions:
- “What part of your work actually excites you?”
- “What’s something people misunderstand about what you do?”
Insight: “If somebody walks away thinking that was a good conversation, what that really means is, I felt interesting around that person.” (Omar, 06:53)
Influence: Make others feel seen to establish deep rapport.

4. Match Energy (07:25)

Mirroring Principle: Adjust your demeanor to match the other person’s energy.
Respect, Not Manipulation: “You don’t need to be yourself harder. You need to read the room.” (Omar, 07:31)
Book References:
- Robert Cialdini’s Influence
- Chris Voss’ Never Split the Difference
Effect: Mirroring fosters instant trust—people connect better with those who “speak their language.”

5. Leave Them Feeling Better Than Before (08:08)

Most Powerful & Rarely Shared: This is about changing how people feel about themselves, not about impressing them intellectually.
Practical Application:
- Instead of just praising accomplishments, “praise their judgment and their character, because that’s who they are. That hits it deeper.” (Omar, 08:53)
- Use intentional, honest compliments: “That’s a sharp way to think about it,” or “You clearly know your stuff.”
Key Principle: “People may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.” (Omar, 09:00)
Caveat: Don’t pander or give fake praise—always be genuine.

Practice & Homework Assignment (09:25)

Omar’s Challenge: Organize a dinner with three or more people and practice ONE of the five techniques the entire evening.
- Create a WhatsApp group, invite people, choose a quiet restaurant, and set a date.
Be Deliberate: Run an “internal experiment”—observe how the conversation and energy shift.
Request Feedback: Afterward, ask attendees: “Did you enjoy the dinner? What stood out for you?” (Omar, 11:00)
Reasoning: “So when you meet someone important for the first time... you’re not experimenting on them for the first time.” (Omar, 11:38)
On Practice: “Charisma looks natural. Leadership looks effortless. You know, confidence looks like talent. But behind all that is a lot of repetition.” (Omar, 12:25)

Memorable Story: Early Management Struggles (13:30)

Omar shares a vulnerable leadership moment from his teaching career:

Promoted at 25 to manage 32 teachers, many much older.
Felt compelled to project authority but realized it would be inauthentic.
Instead, opened his first meeting with honesty:

“Hey team... I’m very nervous because I really want to do a great job. But I can’t do this alone... I need you to tell me what you need so you can do your best.” (Omar, 14:47)
The result: The team delivered the school’s best results.
Teacher feedback: “That was the first time we felt seen and appreciated by leadership.” (Omar, 16:05)
Core lesson:

“You don’t need to be something you’re not, okay? You just need to be a better version of who you already are.” (Omar, 16:25)
The techniques work “because people remember how you made them feel.” (Omar, 16:34)

Final Takeaways & Motivation (17:05)

Intentional Relationships Set You Apart: Just making an effort puts you in the top 1%—most people “just wing it.”
Italian Saying:

“When you go out to see the world, the world sees you. Make the right impression when you leave your home and interact with the world.” (Omar, 18:33)
Commit to deliberate practice—stop leaving first impressions to chance.

Notable Quotes

“Confident people speak slower. They pause. They let silence do some of the work.” (Omar, 05:21)
“Most conversations die because people ask boring questions... That is a survey. A form.” (Omar, 06:10)
“People may forget what you said, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel.” (Omar, 09:00)
“You just need to be a better version of who you already are.” (Omar, 16:25)
“Charisma looks natural. Leadership looks effortless... But behind all that is a lot of repetition.” (Omar, 12:25)
“When you go out to see the world, the world sees you.” (Omar, 18:33)

Important Timestamps

03:31 — Technique #1: Appearances Matter
05:05 — Technique #2: Slow Down
06:03 — Technique #3: Ask Questions That Make People Feel Interesting
07:25 — Technique #4: Match Energy
08:08 — Technique #5: Leave Them Feeling Better Than Before
09:25 — Homework: Real-World Practice Challenge
13:30 — Omar’s Early Leadership Story
17:05 — Final Practical & Motivational Takeaways

Conclusion

This episode delivers a concise, powerful playbook for making a memorable impression in business and life. Omar’s advice is grounded, actionable, and encourages authenticity over tactics. He challenges listeners to practice deliberately, moving beyond winging it and toward intentional, impactful human connection. For anyone looking to improve their influence, leadership, or social ease, these five proven techniques offer a practical roadmap.

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Transcript4 lines

[00:00]
A
And this just in The Comcast Business Price Lock Guarantee is back. For a limited time you can lock in the same great rate on gig speed, Internet and advanced security for five years, all from the company with 99.9% network reliability. Switch to the Comcast Business 5 Year Price Lock Guarantee today. Learn more at comcastbusiness.com ends March 29, 2026 ready to save on New Tech? It's time for Dell Tech Day's annual sales event celebrating our customers with fantastic deals and benefits. Perks include Dell Rewards, free shipping, premium Support and more. PCs like the Dell 14 with Intel Core Ultra processors will help you do more faster and with a premium suite of monitors and accessories, you can upgrade your whole setup with amazing savings. Visit Dell.com deals. If you've ever walked into a room and felt invisible, this is why, whether you realize it or not, people decide how much they trust you within seconds. In the next 15 minutes, I'm going to show you exactly how to make a powerful first impression. The kind that helps you close more sales, stand out immediately in networking events, and leave a lasting impression on people that you admire. Welcome back to the $100 NBA show. I'm your host Omar Zenholm, where I deliver practical business lessons three times a week, Monday, Wednesday and Friday to help you start, grow and scale your business. I got a quick favor to ask if this show has helped you in any way, leave me a quick review. You could do so wherever you listen to podcasts. This helps me and my team reach even more people who need the same no fluff practical business advice that you're getting from the show. It only takes a few seconds, but it makes a huge difference. Thanks for being a part of our journey to help others on their journey. Journey. What I'm about to share with you works. Whether you're an introvert, an extrovert, young, experienced, unknown, well established, it doesn't matter. I'm going to break down the five techniques rooted in human psychology. The same techniques I use to make immediate positive impact the moment I walk into any room or join any zoom call. And fair warning, technique number five is unusually powerful. I rarely share it because in the wrong hands, it could be misused. Let's start with technique number one. Appearances matter. All right, let's just get this out of the way right now. Appearances do matter. Not forever, but in the first moment, they're going to take a look at you. Whether you like it or not, they're going to make a judgment subconsciously, consciously about you. The moment they lay Eyes on you. Your appearance in the first moments is doing all the talking before you even open your mouth. It doesn't mean you need to wear expensive brands or look like a fashion influencer. It does mean, though, that you should make some effort. Work on your grooming. Be well groomed. Your clothes need to be clean and intentional. Here's a confession. I invested in a personal stylist because of this one single fact. People will judge you based on how much you take care of yourself, how much you actually care about yourself. And please, this next one matters more than people realize. Smile, okay? Make eye contact. And please, for the love of God, put your phone away. If your phone is in your hand while you're talking to someone, you're silently saying, you're not the most important thing in front of me right now. If something happens here, I'm going to pay attention to it over you. If you must have your phone out, just leave the room. It's just more respectful. If your wife is pregnant and you're expecting a call and you see a buzzing, just excuse yourself and leave the room. Technique number two, Slow down. This one took me ages to learn, and I'm still working on it. Most people speed up when they're nervous. They talk faster. They explain more. They oversell. That does not come across as confident. Just the opposite. Confident people speak slower. They pause. They let silence do some of the work. And here's the truth. Silence doesn't make you awkward. Silence makes other people lean in. It allows them to soak up what you just shared. So say less, pause more, and let your words land in. Stage acting, they call that gravitas. Confidence isn't loud. It's controlled. Technique number three, Ask questions that make people feel interesting. Most conversations die because people ask boring questions. They ask questions like, what do you do? How long you've been doing that? So are you busy these days? That's not a conversation. That is a survey. A form. Right? Instead, ask questions that unlock some depth, like, what part of your work actually excites you? Another question could be like, what's something people misunderstand about what you do? Here's another. What are you trying to get better at these days? Here's why this works. People love talking about the part of themselves they don't usually get to share. If somebody walks away from you thinking that was a good conversation, what that really means is, I felt interesting around that person. That's influence. You're really changing the way they feel. If you're enjoying this episode and want more practical Business insights like this. Subscribe to the show so you don't miss a coming episode that I've been working on. It's all about an experiment that I do where I lock myself in a hotel room to see if I can build a profitable SaaS business in just 7 days using AI. I wanted to see if this AI hype is real and if you can build a real business with it. So subscribe to the show so you don't miss it when that episode drops. Technique number four, Match energy. You don't need to be yourself harder, right? You need to read the room. If someone is calm and analytical, don't come in like a motivational speaker. On the other side of the spectrum, if someone is high energy, don't respond like you're about to fall asleep. This isn't manipulation, it's respect. I learned this from books like Robert Cialdini's book Influence and Chris Voss book Never Split the Difference. It's called mirroring. People feel safe with those who speak their language. When someone thinks, this person gets me, trust starts to form instantly. And that's how rapport actually works. People want to feel like other people understand them, and even just if you mirror their energy, they feel like we're on the same wavelength. Technique number five, Leave them feeling better than before. This one is the most powerful one. And this is where most people get it wrong. Impressive. People don't try to sound smart. They make other people feel smart, capable, and seen. Your goal when you're speaking to someone is not to impress them during the conversation, right? You're not trying to, like, wow them with how much you know your goal is when they walk away. They should feel slightly more confident when they meet you. If they feel better about themselves, you do this by reflecting strength back to them. So how do you do this? When somebody is saying something, sharing something that's interesting, you want to make sure you recognize it. You want to say things like, that's a sharp way to think about it, or most people wouldn't catch that. That's a good instinct. Or when they teach you something new, you could say something like, you clearly know your stuff. The key here is I don't want you to pander. Be honest. And a good rule of thumb is don't just praise their accomplishments. Praise their judgment and their character, because that's who they are. That hits it deeper. People may forget what you said, but they'll never forget how you made them feel when they are around you. Use this technique wisely and please don't Just completely pour on the praise you want to point out genuinely when somebody is actually using good judgment.
[08:03]
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[09:04]
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so how do you practice this without feeling fake or being fake? Well, my first piece of advice is don't try all five at once. Okay? Pick one technique each time you have a meeting or a conversation or an interaction, observe what changes after the conversation. This isn't about becoming someone else. It's about becoming somebody who's removing friction from the interaction. You want people to feel like, hey, this person always has a smooth conversation with me. I don't feel awkward. Things kind of just flow. And these five techniques allow you to do that. And then when they leave you, they feel like this person was valuable. And that's really what you want to do. You want to be a person of value. I want to give you a challenge, some homework, if you will. I want you to organize a dinner with three or more people. They could be colleagues, they could be fellow entrepreneurs, they could be friends. I'm serious. Not yeah, that sounds nice. Maybe one day. I mean, actually do it. Create that WhatsApp group and start inviting people today. Lock in the date. Book a restaurant and choose a quiet restaurant, by the way, not some loud pub where everyone's yelling over each other and you really can't have a good conversation. This is intentional. We're not hanging out. We're practicing a skill. I want you to choose one of the five techniques I shared with you today, and I want you to genuinely give it a go. Give it a shot. Now, you don't have to do all five. Just choose one. Here are the techniques again, Technique number one, appearances matter. Number two, slow down. Number three, ask interesting questions. Number four, match energy. And number five, leave them feeling better than before. Pick one and commit to it for the entire dinner. And here's the important part. You're not trying to be smooth here. You're not trying to impress anyone. You are running an internal experiment with yourself. Let me make this as practical as possible. If you choose, for example, to slow down, that means you pause before answering. You don't rush and fill the silence. You let people finish their thoughts fully before you jump in. These are the things you're going to actively do during the dinner. If you decide to choose the Ask Interesting Questions technique, that means you're not going to ask questions like, so what did you do this week? Right? You're going to ask something like, what's something you've been working on right now that you can't stop thinking about? Or what's been unexpectedly challenging about this past year or month, or even what's a win you haven't celebrated yet? If you're going to choose match energy, that means during the dinner, you're not going to overpower quiet people. You're not going to pull down excited people. You're going to meet people where they are instead of pulling them where you want them to be. If you choose leaving them feeling better than before, that means you're listening for moments where someone doubts themselves. You reflect back their strengths. You remind them that, hey, you're awesome. And you remind them of the things that they have already overcome. Or maybe you choose the first one. I went out of order on purpose here. Okay, the first one was appearances matter. That doesn't mean you have to wear a Rolex or pretend you're something you're not. It means you can show up as you are, but you're going to show up with a little bit more intention, with a little bit more care. Maybe you're going to show up a little bit fancier than you normally show up. You want to look like you really respect yourself because people subconsciously take cues from that. You're going to make eye contact, you're going to smile, you're going to put your phone away. And I decided to save this one as the last example because a lot of people will find this one the most challenging. To make a little bit of an effort externally, but also the way they show up at the actual gathering at the dinner to give people their undivided attention and really just be present. After the dinner, do something most people never do okay? Ask for feedback. Go into that WhatsApp group and say something like, hey, I had a great time tonight. Quick question. Did you guys enjoy the dinner? And what stood out for you? You don't need essays and you don't need validations. Not why you're doing this. You're really just collecting data now? Yes, these are your friends, and yes, these are people you already know. And that's the point. This is practice. So when you meet someone important for the first time, a potential business partner, a client, an investor, a future hire, you're not experimenting on them for the first time, right? You already rehearsed this. People massively underestimate the power of rehearsal. We rehearse for presentations, we rehearse for interviews, we rehearse for pitches. But when it comes to human connection, people just wing it and hope for the best. Stop winging it in life. Just stop it. Because it's not serving you. Allow yourself to get used to doing something new in a safe space with people that you trust, and you'll nail it when it really matters. Anybody that's great at anything has practiced that thing way more than you can imagine. Charisma looks natural. Leadership looks effortless. You know, confidence looks like talent. But behind all that is a lot of repetition. Before I wrap up this episode, I want to share with you a personal and very embarrassing story. When I was 25 years old, I got promoted to be the head of department of grade 10 at the school I was working for. If you don't know, I was a teacher for a very long time before I was an entrepreneur. I was now leading and managing 32 teachers. Many of them were twice my age. I got promoted on a Thursday, and on Friday, I had to run a full staff meeting with all 32 teachers and introduce myself and tell them, hey, I'm your new manager. Less than 24 hours earlier, I was just another teacher sitting beside them in those meetings, right? I was beyond nervous for this meeting that I had to chair and run and introduce myself. My knees were literally knocking minutes before I had to walk into that meeting room. My mouth was dry, my brain was really racing, and all I knew was that this was really a critical moment. My first impression in front of my team. And first impressions last, especially when the power dynamics change, right? I wanted to show them that even though I was young and even though I was new at this job, I should be taken seriously. But here was the problem. I could barely make eye contact with anybody. I was so nervous. My instincts was to overcompensate to come in strong, to act tough, to sound like the boss. Right? My original plan was to introduce myself and explain how I like to run things and tell them, this is how it's going to be from now on. Next week, going to stay late and grade papers. And that's the job. Deal with it. Very authoritarian. I thought that's how I would get respect. Right? It was also very fake and very not me. Moments before the meeting, I was rehearsing that speech out loud in my office. And halfway through, I just stopped. And I literally said to myself, I can't do this. I can't be that guy. That's not me. So I decided to do the opposite. I walked into that meeting room, all 32 teachers were looking at me. I took a deep breath, and I said this. Hey, team. As you know, I'm the new grade 10 head of department. And honestly, I'm very nervous because I really want to do a great job. And I want you all to see that I'm doing a great job. But I can't do this alone. We can only succeed as a team if we all do our best, if we all do it together. So I need you to tell me what you need so you can do your best. I'll do everything I can to make that happen with management. All of a sudden, it felt like the room changed. Everything just felt different. So I continued. I said, you're all talented teachers. I know that because I've worked beside you for years. But our job also require us to do extra things students never really see, like grading papers. Next week we have exams, and those papers, they're not going to grade themselves, right. They're not going to correct themselves. So we're going to work on them together as a team for an extra two hours next Thursday, I'll be here with you. All hands on deck. And then I finished with this. I was planning to tell you today what kind of leader I'm going to be, but I'll just let you see for yourself. That was it. And it just came natural to me because it was honest. No power playing, no pretending, no putting up any armor, just honesty, you know, I delivered those words slowly and sincerely. And I made a very different impression that day. Not a loud one, not a dominant one, just an honest one. And the results speak for themselves. The team produced the best results a school ever has seen that year. Multiple teachers later told me something that stuck with me forever. They said that was the first time we felt seen and appreciated by leadership. That moment taught me Something I'll never forget. And that was, you don't need to be something you're not, okay? You just need to be a better version of who you already are. These techniques work not because they're clever, not because they're tricks, but because people remember how you made them feel. So go book that dinner. This homework I'm giving you, pick one technique and practice it deliberately. And stop leaving something this important to chance. Before I go, I want to leave you with this. Everything I shared with you can be done effortlessly. All five techniques show that you've putting some effort and some thought into how you interact with others. By just doing that, by making an effort, you become exceptional. Because 99% of people in the world, they just wing it. They don't really have a plan when they actually interact with people. The Italians have a great saying and it goes like this. When you go out to see the world, the world sees you make the right impression when you leave your home and interact with the world. If this episode resonated with you and you feel like this podcast is really helping you up your game, then I recommend you listen to this episode next. It's an episode that I published that is a must read episode where I talk about a book that really has influenced me in a big way. And that book is Turning Pro by Steven Pressfield. It's about crossing that line from dabbling to showing up like a professional. And it pairs perfectly with everything we talked about today. If you found today's episode helpful and you want more practical business lessons to help you start, grow and scale your business business, the best thing you could do is subscribe to this podcast, hit subscribe or follow on your favorite podcast app, the one that you're using right now, whether it's Apple or Spotify or wherever you listen to podcasts, by hitting subscribe, you get our next episode automatically. And it's the best way to support the show. It's absolutely free and it's a way for you to commit to growing your business. And now that you subscribed, I'll check you in the next episode.
[19:46]
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You've made it on time for the McDonald's breakfast menu. You think to yourself, finally, I could start my day with my perfect breakfast. But what if breakfast could be even more perfect with the hot honey sausage egg biscuit? It finally is. This won't last forever, so go to McDonald's and get it while you can.