Podcast Summary: The 47 Morning Update with Ben Ferguson

Episode Title: Monkeys Playing 'Price Is Right', Ferrets on a Bender & Beagles on Meth
Host: Ben Ferguson
Date: December 24, 2025
Duration: ~16:30 of content

Episode Overview

On this Christmas Eve edition of The 47 Morning Update, Ben Ferguson delivers a sharp, impassioned breakdown of Senator Rand Paul’s annual "Festivus Report" highlighting egregious examples of government waste, fraud, and abuse of taxpayer funds. The central theme: the bewildering, sometimes shocking ways the US government spends public money—on everything from animal experiments involving cocaine and meth to massive sums for influencer campaigns, overseas promotions, and failed infrastructure projects.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The “Festivus of Waste, Fraud, and Abuse” (03:33 – 05:29)

• Annual Spotlight: Ben introduces Senator Rand Paul’s yearly "airing of spending grievances," likening it to Festivus from Seinfeld. The report seeks to publicize wasteful government spending.
• Staggering Figures: The 2025 report documents over $1.6 trillion in government waste when accounting for interest on the national debt. Ben notes:
  Quote: “Just how bad was waste this past year? You’re going to be livid after I tell you where your money went and who got it.” (03:42)

2. Egregious Animal Experiments (05:30 – 09:20)

• Beagles Dosed with Drugs:
  • $13.8 million used by the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases to infect beagles (as young as four months) with ticks carrying Rocky Mountain spotted fever—denied pain relief to not “interact with the infection.”
  • $5.2 million from the National Institute of Drug Abuse for dosing beagles with cocaine and methamphetamine.
• Monkeys Playing “Price is Right”:
  • $14.7 million for Brown University to make monkeys play a video game based on Plinko from The Price is Right, tracking their brain activity and eye movements. Procedures involved surgically fixed head posts.
  • Ben’s tone: both incredulous and frustrated.
• Ferrets Forced to Binge Drink:
  • $1 million by the Department of Veterans Affairs to make teenage ferrets binge drink for up to 90 days before being euthanized. Stated aim: to create models for testing chemical weapons, opioids, and extreme stress.
  • Quote: “The researchers claim the goal of the drunken ferrets experiment...is to pave the way for teenage ferrets to be used to test chemical weapons, opioids, extreme stress, and TBI, or to conduct studies related to depression, stress responses, addiction, schizophrenia, suicide, and sensory processing.” (08:18)

3. Eye-Popping Spending Beyond Animal Tests (09:21 – 13:42)

• Influencer and Media Campaigns:
  • $40 million for influencer-led COVID-19 vaccine promotion—issued after the pandemic had largely ended.
  • $1.5 million to promote American media abroad.
  • $1.9 million for mobile phone interventions targeting childhood obesity in Latino families.
  • $1.5 million for an anti-drug TikTok influencer campaign.
  • $244,000 for a children’s climate cartoon in Pakistan.
• Bizarre Research:
  • $2.5 million to promote insect consumption (eating bugs).
  • $2.1 million for NYU researchers to collect saliva samples at EDM festivals, testing for 1,000 drugs.
    • “Perhaps we don’t need a multimillion-dollar rave reconnaissance mission to confirm that nightclub drugs are in fact drugs.” (12:46, attributing the quote to Sen. Paul)
  • $2.9 million to investigate whether toddlers spending all day on iPads affects development.
• Anti-Racism and Infrastructure Funding:
  • $3.3 million for an anti-racism campus program at Northwestern University.
  • Electric Vehicle Infrastructure: $7.5 billion allocated, but only 68 charging stations built.
    • Quote: “We spent 7.5 billion on 65 charging stations. Again, another example of the corruption in our government.” (13:32)
• Immigration Spending:
  • $22.6 billion spent on migrant benefits, which Ben points out had to be borrowed—contributing to rising interest payments.

4. Interest Payments and National Spending Crisis (05:55 – 06:45, 13:43 – 14:40)

• Ballooning Debt:
  • The US spent $1.2 trillion this year on interest alone—now the third-largest government expense after Social Security and Medicare.
  • Quote: “That’s how out of control our government spending and borrowing has become.” (06:29)
• Ben’s Frustration:
  • Stresses the need for fiscal responsibility and a balanced budget, asking: “How do we get rid of it and what does the President plan to do?” (14:35)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Ben Ferguson, exasperated:
  “The government has funded experiments that dose dogs with cocaine. You’re paying for that. Also, your tax dollars are paying to force ferrets to binge drink.” (04:55)
• On monkeys and games:
  “Researchers at Brown University track the monkey’s brain activity and eye movements as they play a video game called Plinko, a variation of the famous Price is Right game. The monkeys have head posts screwed into their skulls to keep their heads still while they play the game.” (08:06)
• On festival waste:
  “Every year, [Rand Paul] wants you to know what your dollars have been going for… this holiday season will be no different.” (05:20)
• Conclusion:
  “These are just some of the highlights of your tax dollars, waste, fraud, and abuse being brought to light. The question now is how do we get rid of it...?” (14:35)

Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |--------------------------------------------------------|---------------| | Festivus Report: Intro & Importance | 03:33 – 05:29 | | Animal Experiment Exposés | 05:30 – 09:20 | | Influencer, Media & Outlandish Research Funding | 09:21 – 13:42 | | Interest Payments & Fiscal Crisis | 05:55 – 06:45; 13:43 – 14:40 | | Closing Thoughts/Call to Action | 14:41 – 16:29 |

Overall Tone & Listener Takeaway

Ben Ferguson maintains a tone of incredulity and outrage, using vivid language and concrete figures to drive home the extent of government waste. He emphasizes a need for increased fiscal oversight and responsible stewardship of taxpayer money, closing with a call for continued vigilance and reform.

This episode reveals the sometimes-surreal reality of federal spending, brought to light in sardonic detail—a must-listen for those concerned with accountability and government transparency.