175 - Carpenters - Close To You - Wayne Federman

Summary

Episode Summary: "Carpenters - Close To You" featuring Wayne Federman

Podcast: The 500 with Josh Adam Meyers
Guest: Wayne Federman
Episode Number: 175
Release Date: January 29, 2025
Location: The Comedy Store, Los Angeles

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Introduction

In Episode 175 of The 500 with Josh Adam Meyers, host Josh Adam Meyers sits down with comedian Wayne Federman at the iconic Comedy Store in Los Angeles to delve deep into the legacy of the Carpenters, focusing particularly on their acclaimed album "Close To You." The conversation intertwines personal anecdotes, musical analysis, and reflections on the emotional depth of the Carpenters' work.

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Background on the Carpenters

Wayne Federman brings a wealth of knowledge about the Carpenters, illuminating their origins and rise to fame. The duo, comprised of sibling Karen and Richard Carpenter, began their musical journey in Connecticut before relocating to Downey, California, to pursue greater opportunities in the burgeoning music industry.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (03:28): “The Carpenters are one of the most remarkable, miraculous bands in the history of music and the greatest brother-sister act ever.”

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The "Close To You" Album

The centerpiece of the episode is an in-depth discussion about the Carpenters' "Close To You" album, which Rolling Stone Magazine ranked at number 175 on its list of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time.

Musical Composition and Production: Richard Carpenter's prowess as an arranger is highlighted, particularly his innovative techniques in multi-tracking vocals, inspired by Les Paul’s groundbreaking work. This method allowed the Carpenters to create their signature lush harmonies by layering multiple vocal tracks, giving their music a unique and richly textured sound.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (21:21): “Les Paul was at the vanguard of creating multi-tracking, especially vocals. Richard took that and multiplied it further, shaping the Carpenters' distinctive sound.”

Key Tracks:

• "Close To You": An exploration of how the Carpenters transformed a previously recorded song into a chart-topping hit. The discussion touches on Karen Carpenter's emotive vocal delivery and the song's enduring presence in popular culture, often played at weddings and other significant life events.

• "We've Only Just Begun": The evolution of this track from a commercial jingle for Crocker Bank to a beloved anthem. Federman emphasizes the song's emotional resonance and its role in establishing the Carpenters' reputation for evocative, heartfelt music.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (34:00): “'We've Only Just Begun' not only became a wedding song but also a graduation and prom staple, encapsulating the emotional milestones of life.”

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Impact and Legacy

The episode delves into the Carpenters' significant impact on the music industry, noting their commercial success with over 100 million records sold and multiple gold certifications. Despite criticisms from some music critics for being "too soft" or "overproduced," the Carpenters' music has endured, garnering praise from legendary artists like Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson.

Influence on Other Artists: Federman draws parallels between the Carpenters and contemporary sibling acts such as Billie Eilish, highlighting the unique dynamic and complementary talents that drive both groups' successes.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (62:37): “The Carpenters were truly built around Richard's arranging genius and Karen's ethereal voice, creating a synergy that is rare and magical in the music world.”

Critical Acclaim: The album's inclusion in Rolling Stone's list underscores its artistic merit and lasting influence. The clarity and emotional depth of Karen's vocals combined with Richard's meticulous arrangements set a high standard in the adult contemporary genre.

Notable Quote:

Josh Adam Meyers (20:10): “'Close To You' is not just a beautiful album but a testament to the Carpenters' ability to connect with listeners on a profound emotional level.”

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Personal Insights and Anecdotes

Throughout the conversation, both Meyers and Federman share personal stories and reflections that add depth to their analysis of the Carpenters' work.

Karen Carpenter's Struggles: Federman sensitively discusses Karen Carpenter's battle with anorexia and the pressures of fame. He highlights the tragic aspects of her life, emphasizing how the relentless touring schedule and societal expectations took a toll on her mental and physical health.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (56:02): “Karen's struggle with body image and the obsessive focus on her weight were reflective of the immense pressures artists face, especially those thrust into the spotlight so young.”

Richard Carpenter's Role: The discussion also touches on Richard Carpenter's multifaceted role as a musician, arranger, and producer. His dedication to crafting the perfect sound for each song is portrayed as a driving force behind the Carpenters' success.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (64:10): “Richard Carpenter was not just a piano player; he was the architect of their sound, meticulously selecting and arranging material that showcased Karen's incredible voice.”

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Emotional Depth and Musicality

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to analyzing the emotional layers embedded within the Carpenters' music. Federman underscores how Karen Carpenter's ability to convey profound emotion through her lower vocal register and seamless transitions between chest and head voice sets her apart from her contemporaries.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (32:42): “Karen’s voice wasn’t just technically impressive; it was emotionally resonant, capable of conveying deep melancholy and heartfelt joy with equal finesse.”

Production Techniques: The duo's innovative production techniques, including the extensive layering of harmonies and the strategic use of instrumental arrangements, are discussed as key elements that contribute to the timeless quality of their music.

Notable Quote:

Wayne Federman (21:09): “Richard Carpenter's coral arrangements created a soundscape that was both lush and intimate, allowing Karen’s voice to shine through with unparalleled clarity.”

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Conclusion

The episode concludes with heartfelt reflections on the Carpenters' enduring legacy and the personal loss felt by fans and peers alike due to Karen Carpenter's untimely death. Federman praises the Carpenters not only for their musical achievements but also for their ability to touch the hearts of millions through their sincere and beautifully crafted songs.

Final Thoughts: Josh Adam Meyers expresses admiration for Wayne Federman's insightful commentary and the profound appreciation he holds for the Carpenters' music. The episode serves as both a tribute to the band and an exploration of the intricate dynamics that made their music resonate across generations.

Notable Quote:

Josh Adam Meyers (78:32): “Having Wayne here has been a gift. His passion and knowledge about the Carpenters have deepened my own appreciation for their work. It's clear that their music was built on a foundation of genuine talent and emotional honesty.”

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Wayne Federman (03:28): “The Carpenters are one of the most remarkable, miraculous bands in the history of music and the greatest brother-sister act ever.”

• Wayne Federman (21:21): “Les Paul was at the vanguard of creating multi-tracking, especially vocals. Richard took that and multiplied it further, shaping the Carpenters' distinctive sound.”

• Wayne Federman (34:00): “'We've Only Just Begun' not only became a wedding song but also a graduation and prom staple, encapsulating the emotional milestones of life.”

• Wayne Federman (32:42): “Karen’s voice wasn’t just technically impressive; it was emotionally resonant, capable of conveying deep melancholy and heartfelt joy with equal finesse.”

• Wayne Federman (56:02): “Karen's struggle with body image and the obsessive focus on her weight were reflective of the immense pressures artists face, especially those thrust into the spotlight so young.”

• Wayne Federman (64:10): “Richard Carpenter was not just a piano player; he was the architect of their sound, meticulously selecting and arranging material that showcased Karen's incredible voice.”

• Wayne Federman (62:37): “The Carpenters were truly built around Richard's arranging genius and Karen's ethereal voice, creating a synergy that is rare and magical in the music world.”

• Josh Adam Meyers (20:10): “'Close To You' is not just a beautiful album but a testament to the Carpenters' ability to connect with listeners on a profound emotional level.”

• Wayne Federman (38:48): “He [Herb Alpert] had an ear not only for kids' music but also for adult contemporary, making it a perfect fit for the Carpenters.”

• Wayne Federman (51:01): “One of the most profound aspects of the Carpenters' music is how seamlessly it blends technical brilliance with genuine emotional expression.”

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Final Remarks

Episode 175 of The 500 with Josh Adam Meyers offers an insightful and emotionally rich exploration of the Carpenters' "Close To You" album. Through Wayne Federman's engaging storytelling and deep appreciation for the band's artistry, listeners gain a comprehensive understanding of why the Carpenters hold a cherished place in music history. The episode not only celebrates their musical achievements but also poignantly acknowledges the personal struggles that shaped their legacy.

For those unfamiliar with the Carpenters, this episode serves as an evocative introduction, capturing the essence of their timeless music and the profound impact they've had on listeners around the world.

Transcript

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[B]

The 500.

[A]

The 500J been walking us down through that 2012 edition so it ain't nothing to you. Hundreds more and in need of a friend. The king of peaceful angelo Talking the 500 until the end Talking the 500 until the end with my man JM on the 500 Talking the 500 until the end why do stars fall down from the sky Every time you walk by? Just like me that is Close to you by the Carpenters from their 1970 record Close to you. It's also number 175 out of 500 on you wanna say it?

[B]

Yeah. The 500 greatest album.

[A]

That's not the title. Oh, you're my show.

[B]

Oh, the 500 with Josh, Adam.

[A]

That's me. And guess who I'm sitting with right now. Ladies and gentlemen, Wayne Federe Way Lainey Federman. We are in the studio at the Comedy Store here. So thank you to everybody that's letting us record. I said, why not have Wayne come and do the intro as well, get more stage and screen time. Was this a fun one today?

[B]

I've always they're all fun, they're all interesting to me. But I love the car and I love that they're such a unique act. This isn't like, oh, they had the Carpenters and they created this band. They were just singular in their achievement.

[A]

I mean, you've done such a wide net that this is really shocking that this is one that you wanted to do, knowing that, like we said, you're a rock God, but we get into all of that. If you haven't subscribed to the Patreon yet, subscribe to the Patreon. Patreon.com the 500 podcast. $5 hooks us up at 25. You'll get free merch and you really support the show. Do you subscribe to the Patreon?

[B]

No. This is the first time hearing that.

[A]

Any Patreons?

[B]

Not yet.

[A]

Not yet. You should have one, I think. If he is. If he has one, let us know. Tag Fetty Watt. Patreon is a. Yes.

[B]

I'm hesitant on doing a Patreon.

[A]

No, do it. Do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I got a bunch of tour dates coming up. Josh. Adamyers.com I'm gone basically the whole month of February. I know. I've got Reno, I've got Los Angeles, I've got Vegas, I've got. I've got Vegas. Reno, Reno, Vegas. Go to my website. I've got them all listed there. We got to get out of here.

[B]

I have a Canters. Keep going.

[A]

Canters, Green bl, all of the delis. But we're doing the Carpenters close to you, so make sure you listen to it before you listen to the podcast. Second album, second record rate, review, and most importantly, subscribe to the 500 listen free on all platforms or anywhere you get your pods. Follow me at Josh Adam Myers on all social media. Follow the podcast at the 500 podcast. Where can you find you, Wayne?

[B]

You can find me at Federman on Twitter or Axis called now. And also I'm on the Insta. Instafetterman.

[A]

On the Insta Fetterman. He posts once a year, so. And you just posted. Yep, we're talking all about that.

[B]

I was in a Waymo. I was in a Waymo and I went to see a Led Zeppelin doc.

[A]

Email the [e-mail] follow the Facebook group run by Crazy Evan. And for all things 500, go to the website the500podcast.com.

[B]

Well, there's nothing left to say, but here we go with number 175. Or some people call it 17 5. Some people will say 175. Some say 175. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Carpenters close to you.

[A]

You hold on while I jump into this.

[B]

I'm ready. I'm ready.

[A]

Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Just like me they long to be close to way betterman. Fetty Wap Fetterman, out of the. Let's see how many episodes we have done together.

[B]

This is our only. Maybe our second one face to face.

[A]

Oh, this is our second one face to face. This is. Oh, usually he has it right at the top. So just so everybody knows, I don't have my computer with me. I'm in Los Angeles right now. Thank you to the Comedy Store for taking in at the last minute. Yeah, it's crazy. I put the bat signal out and I got a lot of help from.

[B]

There's people.

[A]

There's people that love the podcast. Love me, hate you. They said. They said. Who's. They said, the Carpenters. I said, yes. They said, the 500. They were like, yes. They were like. I was like, Wayne. Like Newton? I'm like, no. Wayne Kramer from the MC5. No. And I said, Motor City 5. Wayne Fetty WAP Fetterman. And they said, who is it?

[B]

No, thank you.

[A]

They said, I don't know.

[B]

That said, that's a please. No. Remember that?

[A]

Yeah. Please. Oh, yeah.

[B]

That's a please.

[A]

No, There was a minute, like, just so everybody knows, like, we. The fires have really affected everything. You can just put your leg on Lekka. It's fine. She's. She's not going to bite you. You're afraid. You're definitely afraid.

[B]

I don't like dogs.

[A]

Is that true?

[B]

No, I'm kidding.

[A]

Oh, thank God. Because I want to go put her in the hotel room now.

[B]

It's cool.

[A]

Yeah, very cool. The. We had the. The fire issues and. And. And then Emily was running around and she said, I don't know, what are we going to do? And then I said, you know, there's a guy. He. He. He's done. He might do the podcast. He's done it before, you know, I think a week ago. But. But I bet you what was so cool, Wayne, was that when. When we were. Did the last one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Which wasn't Bobby Blue Bland. No, no, it was not. But I said. I said, yo, we got to get the Carpenters. And you got excited.

[B]

It was funking.

[A]

It was Funkadel. Yeah. What a. What a. I mean, other side of the planet, but interesting.

[B]

Same. Like, he's a little older than these. These guys, the Carpenters, but he. His. His height was during this same time. 70s was it really? Yep. I mean, obviously he went from. What do we call it, doo wop to hip hops. Like he had this crazy arc.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But they are very much one thing. The Carpenters, which we'll get into.

[A]

I. I mean, I'm not shocked because I could see you being a fan of this record, but I am. You know, you're a guitar guy. You're a guitar rock. You just went to go see the Led Zeppelin documentary. How was that?

[B]

How did you know about that?

[A]

You posted about it. Oh, he posts once every.

[B]

It was a great night. Yeah. I rarely post. It was incredible night. I mean, I love. Obviously Led Zeppelin is my band and. But as important as going to that Led Zeppelin becoming Led Zeppelin was. It was my first Waymo experience. It was crazy night for Wayne Federer.

[A]

Waymo is the selfish self driving car.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Any thoughts? Notes? Like, it was great. The driver was a nice guy.

[B]

There's no tipping. No tipping.

[A]

You love.

[B]

Incredible. I've been not tipping for decades.

[A]

Wayne hates. If you guys don't know about this. Wayne hates dogs, hates tipping. I mean, it's your least favorite thing, right?

[B]

Yeah. Because I'm like judging you and it's like, let's take that out of it. I'll just pay what's on the bill. Right.

[A]

So what do you do? It's a $20 check. Great service. $20 check. What are you doing? Handshake.

[B]

$20. And I give them the. Sometimes they give them the salute. Sometimes they do the Japanese. Yes. You did a great job. Thank you. Sometimes even just a thank you for the incredible service.

[A]

And then what do they do?

[B]

Look, they're happy just to meet me. They're happy to meet Wayne Fetterman.

[A]

Just so anybody knows that the Applebee's over on Cuenga, if Wayne Fetterman comes in, you're getting shit.

[B]

Now I. Look, I'm a generous tipper. I would say. I would say I'm a generous dipper.

[A]

100 check. What are you putting?

[B]

Oh, at least 30.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's very generous.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. You are a good tip.

[B]

I am a good.

[A]

Yeah. Okay. That's. So scratch everything. We. Just.

[B]

Because I worked in food, I actually worked, believe it or not, behind food service, in the kitchen, in the. I was a dishwasher. Was my first job I ever got.

[A]

Are you serious? What restaurant?

[B]

Steak and Brew is called on 441 in Fort Lauderdale? Oh, yeah, right outside Plantation.

[A]

Yeah, it was the. The plantation is these.

[B]

That's where I grew up.

[A]

Oh, yeah, that's the. You are Old Southern roots just like, oh, go. Go fetch, mister.

[B]

We'll put them in the back. We'll have them watch.

[A]

Yeah, go get. Go get Mr. Wayne a nice cold glass of that lemonade I saw you brewing over there. You're over here on Plantation.

[B]

Plantation.

[A]

Plantation, yeah.

[B]

So that was. So I'm very familiar with food service here. Was the thing I remember about this and before we get to the Carpenters, was how much food is thrown out in restaurants. Do you. Have you ever worked in restaurants?

[A]

100%. Yeah.

[B]

It is. One of it is this. I can't use the word discuss. It's just shocking the amount of food people order meals. They eat one third of it and they're like, that's enough.

[A]

What do you think about. Because there was. I worked at a seafood place and there were these stuffed shrimp that were expensive and it was jumbo lump in like U25 shrimp, which are the biggest shrimp. And these people would eat like, out of the six shrimp, they eat three. And there'd be three still on the plate. What you would think is untouched. And. And I had done it only after I saw. I saw a guy, one of the. None of the busboy, but it was another server or a dishwasher or somebody just created one of the shrimp and just eat it. There's one girl was like, oh. And I was like, but they didn't touch it.

[B]

Look, this is the thing. I am. What's the word for it when you're like a germaphobe? Yeah, I'm an anti germaphobe.

[A]

You want germs?

[B]

I want germs. I feel like that's kept me alive.

[A]

Kiss me right now.

[B]

Let's do it. Yeah. So I will eat food off the ground. I don't care. Like, none of that matters to me.

[A]

Food off the ground.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's so not you.

[B]

I know, I know. But I don't. I don't. I don't care. I don't care.

[A]

Has anybody that you, as Judd seen you do that, by the way? No, by the way.

[B]

Doesn't happen that.

[A]

By the way. By the way. Judd approached me at the comedies, not the comedy seller and was just like. He talked to you and he said he. You said such good things about me and the podcast. There was a chance. I thought we might be able to. I was hoping he would be a fan of the band too. When I thought we were going to do this online and I would thought what. What a great threesome that would be is to get me, you and him and he's just too busy right now. He's working on stuff you, obviously.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You ain't got to do. I mean, you gave me a window of 10am to three weeks from now.

[B]

I mean, I can see the horizon. Like there's nothing. Nothing.

[A]

Me neither. I'm. I'm literally just. Just dicking around. How was the movie?

[B]

It was fun. It was fun. I did the one qualm I look, there was a lot of footage I had never seen, and I was in imax, so I was out of my mind. If there was one little thing I would say was this. I thought the sound mix could have been a little better.

[A]

Is that what you do when you watch? Is it just because it's a rock movie or is it.

[B]

I know every note they've played. I know every bootleg. I know. Speaking of bootlegs, I brought one today. But. Yeah, I just love. I love me, man. Led Zeppelin. And then I had an older brother, like, they came out when I was nine who bought Led Zeppelin 1 and he put it on, and I was like, okay, this is. This is my. This is my thing. Oh, obviously. I'm from Plantation, Florida.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, you go ahead and put on physical Graffiti for me real quick, babe, if you don't mind. You know, that deer maker will be real smart special as I drink this cold glass of lemonade.

[B]

But I'm just quibbling. I mean, it was just a great night. Just a great night.

[A]

All you got out of the house too. It's a big deal for you.

[B]

Got out of the. I got in the Waymo.

[A]

How in the Wayo is just a self driveless car. You don't have to tip. You love it.

[B]

Incredible. I mean, it's like.

[A]

Did you feel safe?

[B]

Totally safe. And I often when I would see another Waymo like, you wave.

[A]

You waved because it's like two Jeep owners.

[B]

I. I didn't wave at the people inside, but I was wondering if the Waymos are talking to each other in that weird Internet language. They're like, yeah, we got. I got. We're going to the Led Zeppelin premiere.

[A]

You're.

[B]

Where are you going?

[A]

I'm taking them to downtown LA to buy some dope. What if. That, I think would have been funny if next time you're in the Waymo in the back, just like, beat on the window and you see a car like, help me. It's crazy. It's gone berserker. It's maximum overdrive.

[B]

Yeah, it was really fun. But let's get into the Carpenters because we have. What's known in show business is a hard out.

[A]

What is that?

[B]

Explain that to the people.

[A]

So the hard out means that the time that we have is the time that we have. No more. No. Well, less if we needed it. But. Yeah, but we have no more than 4:30 and no more. Big ups to Brian Baldinger for answering the text. Because once you said the traffic situation, all things comedy would. Thank God, I love them to death. Big shout out to Mike, Bertolina, Burr, all those guys. But man, I thought about that because I'm literally standing right next door in the presidential suite.

[B]

What?

[A]

Yeah. I have a president.

[B]

You walked over?

[A]

Well, I went to go T shirt shopping. I bought a bad brains vintage T shirt that, that this guy found for me.

[B]

You're like a closet metrosexual, right? You like to buy nice clothes.

[A]

I do, yeah, I do. I wouldn't call it do a boots. I do have boots, but I'm a sneaker guy now. Now I. Now I wear. I wear a lot of Jordans. Look at her feet touching our feet. Come on, let's get this. This is the clip. This is the clip. Oh, dude, this is the most physical contact we've ever had. Ever. I was so excited. I don't get this excited about doing the podcast. You know, I'm not that true. I do. But. But, oh, you know who's going to be coming on tell me, tell me. And he said next to me on the flight from. From New York to L. A.

[B]

You want me to guess?

[A]

Sure. You mean to give you a window.

[B]

You're saying it was a window seat?

[A]

No, no, no. I want to say give me a window.

[B]

Give me an aisle.

[A]

Give me one. You are an aisle guy. I know that because you got to pee and poop a lot. That true? No, I think I was saying window. Like.

[B]

Yeah, I know what you mean.

[A]

A net. You want the net?

[B]

You want a little net?

[A]

Give me the director. Oh, he's a director. And academy award winning director. Not for directing, but for writing his own movie.

[B]

Ben Affleck.

[A]

Now I would have gone actor there first.

[B]

Well, he also wrote.

[A]

Sure, but I would have said actor, director. I would have. This guy is.

[B]

Well, I'm not listening to the net. I'm not listening to the net.

[A]

He had, he has, he has acted in a few of his films. He acted his first film which was low budget.

[B]

Oh, is it New York? Wes Anderson.

[A]

No, New York. Think New York.

[B]

Spike lee. Spike Lee.

[A]

100% Spike Lee.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Nicest guy ever, man.

[B]

NYU. I'm an NYU guy.

[A]

I know that. We talked about you.

[B]

I'm sure.

[A]

I said, I said he's like, you know Wayne Fetterman? I mean, from Plantation. Plantation Wayne, yeah, of course I do.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, awesome guy. I think there's a chance we might get him on the pod. He, I was wearing my Washington.

[B]

He would be the best for Carpenter.

[A]

Well, you know, we just saw Jason Mewis outside because he did the jam on, on Sunday and he doesn't have Venmo. So he came over here to meet me to like a pay him and, and I was like, are you a fan of the Carpenters? Do you want to come in too? And he was like, I know him, but I just don't know him enough. And I was like, well, neither do I.

[B]

Let's start right away. So, you know, before you even start. They're Carpenters, not the Carpenter.

[A]

It's like Eagles.

[B]

Yes. And it's stupid. It's like if you have a two name thing, you're like Jefferson Airplane, Led Zeppelin. You can have that without the, the, the article. But if you're one name without an article.

[A]

Beyonce.

[B]

Birds.

[A]

Birds.

[B]

The birds.

[A]

Everybody else says.

[B]

Yeah, everyone says it.

[A]

Everybody.

[B]

Why? What are we doing there?

[A]

You know, that's my first.

[B]

I'm already taking down Carpenters.

[A]

Hey, dude, what's the.

[B]

Add the the or add the duh.

[A]

Add the the. Yeah, I, I, I, I've known close to you I, I think this is what I know. I'll tell you what I know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because this is the first time I've listened to the record ever. Like, ever. I've only listened to it twice. Yep, it's beautiful album. You know, can I say incredible musicianship. Can I say puts you in the good mood and I think more than anything is important because I think, you know, if I'm wrong, it's. This is probably when you talk about adult contemporary or you talk about, you talk about that, that soft rock. I don't even know. You could say rock, but I don't.

[B]

Think they're not in the rock. I don't think they're in the Rock and Roll hall of Fame.

[A]

I'd have to check that map. Jeremiah, who's in Hawaii right now.

[B]

No, I don't think they are and I don't think they will be because, yeah, so, yes, they are obviously adult contemporary, whatever. That chart started in the 60s and they dominated that chart. They dominated the Billboard 100 chart when they were. For those six or seven years, from 70 to about 76. I would say is their peak. So were those years. And yeah, that's their. That's their jam. But you. You. I'm sure you knew a lot of their songs, right?

[A]

I did. I did. There was. It was surprising how many songs I knew off of this record already because they're staples. I mean, close to you is. Is not just been in movies, but it is an iconic song and it's. It's beautiful and it deserves all the credit that they probably got. I mean, I don't. I could. I don't want to just be looking at my phone.

[B]

So don't do it. I'm. I'm not even looking at my computer.

[A]

Good.

[B]

Because I. I'm doing this analog.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Doing just with the brain.

[A]

God, this is so great being here with you, Wayne.

[B]

Thank you. I do like. I do like it much better than being online. I do.

[A]

So do I. I do.

[B]

But here we go. Okay, so they are the most unlikely pop success. One of the most unlikely pop successes of all time. Because obviously they're so easy to dismiss. As soft as lily white, as overproduced as all of that. You know, all of those productions with the multi part harmonies, they would do four part harmonies, then stack those on another four, then stack those on it. Like so it was like a. She sang on like a. A soft cushion of coral. Right? Not coral, like in the sea.

[A]

Not reef, but yes. Orange.

[B]

Right, like corals. Coral arrangements that he did.

[A]

Oh, coral.

[B]

Coral arrangements.

[A]

C H O R. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Coral arrangements that he was. That was his sound. And I might do a couple sidebars. Is that all right?

[A]

Wait, your honor, are you cool with this?

[B]

Absolutely. All right. Okay. First sidebar is Les Paul. We talked about Les Paul a lot. About the guy who invented that guitar that. Your buddy. Joe Bonamassa. Your buddy now too, buddy Joe Bonamassa likes to ejaculate when talking about those guitars. He does.

[A]

I've talked to people about him too, and they're like. They're like, man, it's like he. We want guitars, but he. He pays top dollar and then he's taken over the market. Like he. Dude, he really is the guy.

[B]

He's the guy. He's the guy. So. So we know about that part of Les Paul, but there's a whole nother part of Les Paul that involves this band, the Carpenters. Carpenters. Which is. He was like an inventor. Les Paul, as well as this phenomenal musician. And he, among other people, but really was at the vanguard of creating multi tracking.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yes. And he had his wife. He had an act with his wife called Mary Ford. And they would stack vocals on vocals on vocals. And when people heard this, it blew their mind. It really changed recording history. So Richard Carpenter, who's half of the Carpenters. Yeah. Karen and Richard are the two. They're brother, sister. When he heard that, he was like, oh, this is incredible. And then he took it. He multiplied it even more. But that. That is a real influence on their recording and on this guy named Herb Alpert.

[A]

I know Herb Albert. My dad loved Herb Albert.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Who ran A and M records. He's the A and A and M.

[A]

Alpert is the A. I did not know that.

[B]

Yeah. Jerry Moss is the M. Yeah.

[A]

So Herb Alpert had the two Jewish guys probably always.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, he's from Boyle. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Do the Jews.

[B]

He's gotta be. He's gotta be.

[A]

Yeah. Herbert. Why? Can I ask you a question?

[B]

Why? Oh, no. This is where it's going to go bad. Go ahead.

[A]

Why do people hate the Jews?

[B]

By people you mean you.

[A]

I'm Jewish.

[B]

Oh, I see. I. You know, as Larry David said on Kirby Enthusiasm, sometimes they're a bit much.

[A]

That's a perfect answer.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The kid would clip it, post it. That's the one that's going.

[B]

Larry Davis. Sometimes they're a bit much.

[A]

So is. So, so, so, so what's his name? The guy. Herb. No, no, no. Les Paul. So Les Paul. So Les Paul.

[B]

Yeah. Early 50s, kind of created. And then there was this singer named Patti Page who used it. And then it sort of revolutionized how you would. You could in your own studio, instead of hiring four background vocalists, just do harmony layers and then do harmonies again and then do that. And that's with the Carpenters.

[A]

And he was the first one to ever do that last Paul.

[B]

He was at the vanguard. There was a couple other people. But I would say if you look at the history of multi tracking, especially vocals, no question that Les Paul is the guy. And then has this other insane career.

[A]

So talented.

[B]

The guy who's like, oh, the blues breaker, guitar for Mary Clapton, that's the Les Paul.

[A]

Why isn't he. So why did. Do a lot of people know this or is this just like. Because I feel like this is. It's like you think of Les Paul, you only think of the guitar.

[B]

Right, Right. Yeah. Because Les Pa and Mary Ford are very niche sort of act in the history of show business. And their big hit was called How High the Moon. How High the Moon. Play it oh, okay. We don't have a producer.

[A]

We do.

[B]

I'm kidding. I'm kidding. I'm just totally.

[A]

Oh, my God. How.

[B]

You don't have to do it. You don't have to.

[A]

It goes like this. I'll tell you. How high is the moon? All the way up.

[B]

Up.

[A]

It's all the way up. It's all the way up. And then there's two voices. How high? How high is the moon? All the way up. All the way up. All the way. All the way up. Let's hear it. Let's. Paul, Mary, Ford.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Just what I thought it was going to be, like, very like. Like a skadoodle.

[B]

Listen to her vocals.

[A]

Wow, she sounds great. Yeah. You got on cans like us. This must have blown people's mind.

[B]

This is pretty.

[A]

It's a great song.

[B]

Yeah, it's a great little.

[A]

You cut it off. It's a great song.

[B]

Great producing.

[A]

I mean.

[B]

All right, now we're. Now I know. We have these capabilities.

[A]

Can you believe this? This is. We. We should have been doing this all the other episodes. Well, you know, that's the thing you live in. You live in la. I live in New York. And, you know, you. I'm afraid of germs. You love them.

[B]

I love germs.

[A]

Yeah. Hate the Jews, but love Jews. Jews tipping so.

[B]

And so that's a sidebar. Just as, like, where this all came from. They're big. They. The Carpenters. I'm going to keep calling the Carpenter.

[A]

You can call them the Carpenters.

[B]

They. Their big three that. They love that. They really were the three Bs they called it, which was the Beatles, Burt Bacharach and the Beach Boys.

[A]

And I hear all of that in their music.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah, I really do. So. So.

[B]

And by the way, this song Close to you, written by Bacharach and Hal David. Yes.

[A]

Is it? Yeah. Bert is like. He's there. He's the guy.

[B]

Yeah. And he had a deal with A M Records. I mean, at all this crazy convergence that this. They were living in Downey, California. I don't know if you know where. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's like meth country, right?

[B]

Okay. Well, yeah, maybe since, you know, they had a big aerospace industry there in the.

[A]

But I think, like. Like Downey, I always think of, like, that's an inland empire, I'm assuming.

[B]

No, no, no. It's south of. It's south of la. And yeah, it was. It's a suburb of la. Like a deep suburb, Los Angeles. And by the way, sidebar, your honor, is okay, absolutely. They In Downey. They have the longest running McDonald's in the United States.

[A]

Is that the original?

[B]

Not the original. That's in San Bernardino. I don't think that exists anymore. But yeah.

[A]

What do you think? What are your thoughts on Big Macs?

[B]

I mean, one of the greatest inventions. It's like penicillin. It's like.

[A]

I mean that.

[B]

It's that important.

[A]

McNugget.

[B]

We. Again, I'm not going to do the jokes about what's in it and stuff, but.

[A]

Delicious.

[B]

They're delicious.

[A]

What's your sauce with a. With a. With a barbecue?

[B]

That's really good question. Not even.

[A]

What's your sauce? Sweet and sour. Sweet and sour. Hot mustard.

[B]

Look, we can still be in the same room.

[A]

I know. Isn't that crazy? Because we all connect on hating the Jews. We are all Jewish. We are. That's why we hate them. Sidebar.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I just had a McNugget about a week ago. Spicy one. Be careful. Really gave me indigestion. I had one McNugget.

[B]

Sidebar of sidebar.

[A]

Sidebar.

[B]

Sidebar of sidebar.

[A]

You're good.

[B]

You will allow it. You just have to say, I'll allow it.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Okay. The greatest. One of the greatest sprinters in the history of sports from Jamaica. Do you know I'm talking about Usain Bolt? Yes, Usain Bolt. Pre race meal was McNuggets.

[A]

It's calories. Yeah. I completely. I should be eating that right now. I'm not eating enough.

[B]

So you can run the 100 meters.

[A]

I mean. Yeah.

[B]

Or maybe the 4 by 100. A raider.

[A]

Would we shoot? We should do a comic relay race. And me and you just huffing. Oh, can you imagine that?

[B]

So, all right, I'm looking at the time. No, we're good.

[A]

We're good. We are so good. So. So why don't you tell me the story like of the Carpenters and this record and everything.

[B]

So I always thought. Always thought they were from a place called Downey, but they started in Connecticut in. Right outside New Haven, Connecticut. And Richard is three and a half years older than his little sister Karen. Richard is a musical prodigy and is bullied in school. He's not super macho. When he's 12, he has to get glasses. He's not good at sports. He's like. But he loves music. And his dad has this huge record collection in the basement. And then we just listen over and over again. And Karen, when she got old enough, was much more of a tomboy, but would also want to be near her older brother, who she idolized. And so when they were. They. They actually. His dad actually put a swing in the basement so they could swing indoors because it's so freezing cold for months of the year.

[A]

In Connecticut.

[B]

Yeah, in Connecticut. And so he gained a reputation. He started. He actually studied piano at Yale Music School. Like, he was a real prodigy.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

He could. He could read music. He could. He. He could play by ear. He was just that. And again, this is in Connecticut, and his mom and dad. This is very rare for someone like me, totally supported him. And we're like, we get to the piano and guess what? Let's move to California. Maybe we can get. That's where the record industry is. And also the dad was like, hate these winters.

[A]

Of course. But also he probably. If the kid's a prodigy, he understood how talented the kid was.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And then when you have a gold mine like that, you want to. Yeah. You want to, like, give them more of it, make it more accessible.

[B]

So in Connecticut, Karen was like. She would hang around him and she idolized him, but she was a tomboy. She loved sports. She would play football, she would play baseball. She delivered papers, the whole thing. And then they moved to Downey. He's a senior in high school at Downey High School. She's in the ninth grade, but at that point was junior high school. High school was just 10th, 11th, 12th. And so. So that's just so, you know, and they moved to Downey, and that's when things really pick up for them. They. He becomes. He starts playing in the church and he, like, wants to play jazz music. He's very influenced by jazz. And it's just. And she. To get out. This is very weird. Becomes a member of the marching band, starts with the glockenspiel, and then starts playing drums. I don't know if you know this. She's a drummer.

[A]

No, I knew that she was the drummer of the band. Yeah. Because I. It was. Another person I had asked to do this was. Was Bill, because I know he's a drummer. And he had mentioned before that she actually was a good drummer.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. She's very, like, drumliney kind of drummer. Like a lot of press rolls, double strokes, all excellent, excellent. And so they. Just before she was singing, she was a drummer. Didn't know she was a great singer. And the whole key to this band, why we're talking about them, why we're here at the comedy.

[A]

Why are the Carpenters on here?

[B]

Because of her voice.

[A]

It really is sweet.

[B]

It's beyond sweet. I think you're underestimating the emotional power of her voice.

[A]

Take us. Tell me why. Like, because, I mean, there's a lot of great female singers. She has a very certain sound.

[B]

Well, she's. She sings in a lower register than most female singers, so that's already. And her ability to go from what they call the chest to the head voice and back and forth is remarkable.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And so, again, this is something that even her brother, who's this musical prodigy, didn't realize until he started cutting demos. And she was the drummer in the band. He had something called the Richard Carpenter Trio, which played jazz stuff like Girl from Ipanema and that stuff. And he heard her voice not in air, but through the speak the playback speaker. It was like, what? Wow. She was what's known as a close mic singer. She could sing. If you ever watch her live, she's always like, right up on the mic right here, right here, right here.

[A]

Should we pull up if there's a song. Song that you think, is there something we're gonna get to maybe? Like, do they do, like, the Ed Sullivan or.

[B]

No, no, no. The. Yeah, I mean, let's do. Let's do We've Only Just Begun.

[A]

Yeah. Oh, they're. They're so also, like, so wholesome looking.

[B]

Oh, this is. This is why everyone was shocked. They got signed by A M Records who had, like, Joe Cocker and things like that. Listen. Just listen to her.

[A]

Do you have a live version of it?

[B]

No, no, no. Let's listen to.

[A]

This.

[B]

Is an episode. This is just.

[A]

Cut it off. Yeah. Wow. I already seen Wayne get mad.

[B]

No, no, it's.

[A]

Wayne's mad.

[B]

We've Only just begun. Try We've only just.

[A]

That's what I clicked on.

[B]

I don't know what's. Yeah, there we go. Listen to the breath. Listen to when she takes her first breath.

[A]

Okay, let's hear this, everybody. Put your good fed FS on close. Just begun to live Then White lace and promises. Wow. A kiss for luck and we're on our way we only beg. There's a vocals. Wow. You cut it off. Wow.

[B]

Thank you. So that's an example of her up close singing. You could actually hear Take the breath, but not after the first. After she goes. We've only just begun to live. And then she takes. So anyway, this was. They win. There's a battle of the bands at the Hollywood Bowl. They.

[A]

What a odd place to have it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Hollywood Bowl.

[B]

They would do that yearly. It was a big thing. The Battle of the Bands. And she came out and she was the only female drummer of all the bands. So. And she's a. You know, she's cute as a button. Could cut great. The whole thing.

[A]

And then she's so pretty. It's just that, I mean, I know we're going to get to the story.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it's like just so tragic.

[B]

And she. So the crowd goes nuts. They're like, what is. Oh, there's a female. So they win that competition. They actually get a record deal with RCA, not with A&M. Really cut some demos. RCA is like, this is just too cheese.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Cheesy. Too soft, too white bread. This is not what's going on in 1970.

[A]

This is 1970.

[B]

69. No, I think they won that in maybe 60.

[A]

So Beatles. Beatles are at the height of fame. You got Elvis, you've got.

[B]

No, no, this is past. This is like 67 and 68. This is like the psychedelic era. Jimmy Hendrix, all of these. These bands we've.

[A]

That's like that. That's like the most popular at that time.

[B]

Oh yeah. People are killing. And then again there was also the Monkeys. So they were. You know, there's always been like rock music and then like pop music. And I think what is most. I mean, there's so many miracles in this band's existence. Was like the thing that most music critics and didn't like about them besides their wholesome look and these lush harmonies. When you have, you know, like Bob Dylan singing not even well and he's the king is. The parents also like their music. So it was for kids and parents. And that was the kiss of.

[A]

Of death, I was gonna say. Yeah. That's usually like, oh, this is lame. My parents listen to this.

[B]

Yeah. It was like. Yep. So that's why it was such a huge sign. That's why RCA was like, we don't want four part harmony stacked eight times. Like we just heard that. As beautiful as it is now for us to listen to at the time, it's like this doesn't. This sounds overproduced.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like too much. Too much. But this again, I don't use the. The magic of it all was her very ethereal, almost God given voice. And she only didn't really take voice lessons. She did with one teacher. And he was like, I don't even want to mess with what you got here. You have no idea what you have. And again, a lot of singers, especially today, use these pyrotechnics to like show you how great they are. You know, these Incredible runs and all. None of that. She had, like, the emotional connection to the music through her voice. And it's a miracle that her voice is this good.

[A]

Oh, wow. Yeah.

[B]

And that she's the younger sister of this guy who can arrange these songs. He's known as an arranger. His talents were not only the arranging but also selection of material for her voice. And he would also write specific songs for her voice when she became sort of. She would sing like sadder songs. And that became with Paul Williams, which we'll talk about in a minute. But that was it. So then eventually one of their demo tapes made it to Herb Alpert and he was like, I see that. I see. And he also. Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass. What did you say about them earlier? Your parents liked them?

[A]

My parents loved them.

[B]

Right, right. So he had an ear not only for kids music, but also for like, what is it called? Adult contemporary music.

[A]

Adult contemporary.

[B]

Music. So. So it was a perfect fit. And he also double tracked his trumpet, Les Paul style. Wow. Yeah.

[A]

Wow. Hey, everybody. So you guys have probably heard me talk about how I've been in bands my whole life. I love writing songs and performing in front of crowds. Just like with comedy. As a musician, it can be kind of hard to cut through the noise and really stand out as an artist. I feel like half the music projects I've been in have ended just because we couldn't figure out the answer to that eternal question of. Of how do we get people to hear us. But then again, that was before there was Distrokid. Distrokid is a digital music distribution service that brings your sound to the masses. It's a one stop shop for getting your songs on itunes, Spotify, Apple Music, YouTube Music, Amazon, Deezer, Tidal, and many more. What's Deezer? I never even heard of Deezer. How many of them are there? I know all that. That's like the holy grail of streaming services, though, and getting paid. We want to get you paid for your music. That's huge because a lot of bands go broke before they get big. But Distrokid collects earnings and payments and sends 100% of these earnings to artists minus banking fees and applicable taxes. And that's just one of the tons of benefits of using Distrokid. You can send big files to anyone with their instant share feature. You can use the Hyper Follow feature to promote your release and get pre saves on your song. You can even create personal landing pages for yourself, your band, your brand, and whatever you like. It has a free Spotify Canvas generator too, to generate your own Spotify Canvas for your songs. And the Mixia feature instantly masters your tracks for higher quality audio. So if you're ready to bring your band to the next level, it's time to check out Distrokid. The Distrokid app is now available on iOS and Android. Go to the app or Play store to download it. Listeners of this show can get 30% off their first year by going to distrokid.com VIP the 500. That's distrokid.com VIP the500 for 30% off your first year. Dig it.

[B]

I think you're on mute. Workday starting to sound the same. I think you're on mute. Find something that sounds better for your career on LinkedIn. With LinkedIn job collections, you can browse curated collections by relevant industries and benefits.

[A]

Like Flexpto or hybrid workplaces so you.

[B]

Can find the right job for you. Get [e-mail] jobs finding where you fit. LinkedIn knows how.

[A]

So, all right, so. So Herb hears him.

[B]

And by the way, do you know where Herbal. You know where his studio. He bought the old Charlie Chaplin studio on La Brea.

[A]

Do you really? Where is that?

[B]

That's just south of Sunset on.

[A]

Oh, is it the Jim Henson Studios?

[B]

That's exactly what it is.

[A]

Okay, cool. Yeah, I've been there. That's awesome.

[B]

Yeah, so that's where all of these incredible songs were recorded.

[A]

Wow. Oh, I love that. Yeah, I used to go to the. You know where the Shake Shack is on La Sienna.

[B]

I thought you would say the. The strip club across the street. Oh, what's that called?

[A]

What is. Oh, Shaq something. No, crazy. Crazy girls.

[B]

Yeah. Is that it?

[A]

Yeah, crazy.

[B]

Yeah, right there on La Brea.

[A]

Me and Angelo Bowers used to go there when we were like open micrs and we get in free on Sunday nights. And we'd go there, we'd go there to write. And like, we would sit down to this table and like, girls would come up and be like, you guys want to dance? Like, no, we're just writing jokes. And they'd be like, what are you fucking doing here, you dildos?

[B]

But I always thought it was fun because it's right across the street from Henson. I mean, it could have been Henson.

[A]

Loved throwing, making a rain. Yeah. He was a degenerate, though.

[B]

Oh, I got it. But I always thought it was like a great, like, talk about humanity, like the different.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Kermit the Frog and the stripper named Isis.

[B]

Right. I always like the best strippers. I always thought had names of cars. I lies like Camaro, Chevy. Chevy, all of those.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Incredible. Guys, get it. Give it up for Mitsubishi.

[B]

Trans Am is on deck.

[A]

All right, everybody, we've got Firebirds, we got Edsel to the main stage. Edsel. So. All right, so take. So take it.

[B]

So that. So their first album. Doesn't do anything.

[A]

Doesn't do anything.

[B]

No, it's called. God, I can't remember the name of it.

[A]

It's close to you.

[B]

No, this is. It's like, I can't. It's later re named Ticket to Ride. But they had this first album. Didn't do well.

[A]

Didn't do anything.

[B]

So they're like, okay, well, I'm just still believing you, but let's get on the charts. And so. And Ticket to Ride did get to 55. They did a cover of the Beatles song. So same find. No, they did it as a ballad.

[A]

They slowed it down.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

She's got a tick he's got a ticket to ride.

[B]

Yeah. So that was off their first album, or maybe Origins or something like that. So then this is their second album. This is the album we're talking about. This is the one that Rolling Stone put on their list, which is shocking.

[A]

Why?

[B]

Because it's Rolling Stone we're talking about, you know.

[A]

Yeah, but.

[B]

But the Rolling Stone. Rock and roll.

[A]

But. But I think, you know, look, we. We've been doing this long and you've done a million different types of records. I think. I think this is important. And I think, like, I think this is. If I assume what you want to say is they became enormous.

[B]

Enormous.

[A]

So let's. So let's get there. Take.

[B]

Here it is. Well, this is the first one. Is this Burt Bachrach song called Close to youo, which, by the way, had been recorded earlier, which was by Richard Chamberlain. Do you know who that is?

[A]

The actor?

[B]

If I said Dr. Kildare, would you know what that means?

[A]

No, but wasn't he gay? Richard Chamberlain? I don't die of aids.

[B]

I don't think he died of aids. But Richard Chamberlain did it. Dionne Warwick did it, who was known for covering all these Burke Backrack songs.

[A]

And Warwick, the. She was the Psychic Friends Network. Yes, I remember that.

[B]

Okay, so. So they take this and they rearrange it again. This is the genius of Richard. And they do Close. Close to you when it. They release it as a single and goes to number one go in the whole country. Not just adult contemporary.

[A]

It blows up.

[B]

It blows Up. Who are these people? What is this voice? Do you want to hear a little bit of it?

[A]

Yeah, play.

[B]

I mean, it's the title track.

[A]

Play a little bit of the title track close to you. Let's hear.

[B]

I mean, this piano he created, that's. Why do birds suddenly appear so beautiful?

[A]

Oh, Lea. She's singing it. She started licking my hand. Oh, why do you hate dogs? Close to you say hello why do stars fall down from the sky? I love when. Yeah, but I love the when. It's like when they start stacking the vocals and the harmonies, like. Oh, it's.

[B]

Well, at the end. They do that?

[A]

Yes. Yeah, you can cut it off. That's. I mean, so this.

[B]

This. Her ballpark is going nuts.

[A]

They know it's. They know it's a hit. How could you not? I mean.

[B]

And so then they're like, we need another follow up hit. And this isn't on the album yet. The album is not released yet. And then they come up with. He's watching. Richard is watching tv. His home. They're still living at home in Downey with their parents.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

At this time.

[A]

How old are they? And they're in their early 20s.

[B]

She's 19, maybe.

[A]

Wow. Okay, 23.

[B]

She might be 20. At that time. He's watching TV. He sees a commercial. We're gonna sidebar in a second. Your Honor. Honor. And for Crocker bank, which doesn't exist anymore. And here's this song called We've Only Just Begun is part of the commercial sidebar. Your honor, is this all right?

[A]

I suppose.

[B]

Okay. I'm waiting for a lot. Okay.

[A]

Yeah. Just. He's so, like, he needs it. I don't think you get it. Like, you can't keep saying yes or you gotta say, I'll allow. He wants it. He needs it. He's squirming. Nice. Others knew.

[B]

These are the greatest. This is the greatest part of it. So he hears this song. He's like, oh, that would be great.

[A]

Let's see how awkwardly.

[B]

You know. I'm fine with dog. This would be great for Karen's voice. And so they find out that the story of the Crocker bank commercial is interesting. There's a guy named Hal Riney, not Hal Blaine. We'll get to the drummer. But Hal Riney out of San Francisco is creating, as part of the vanguard, creating this new type of advertising that's as soft sell and emotional and sentimental as you can be. They don't push the name of the product. The name of the product isn't in the song, no one's talking about the product. No one's using the product. They're just showing a young couple getting married and starting their life. And it was like, you have so much to go. Crocker bank can help you get you there. That's all they say at the end. The rest is just this very emotional song called We've Only.

[A]

I mean, what a great title of the song. And then a couple getting married. The potential.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Yeah. I think it's a problem.

[B]

And when they wrote the song, there was no bridge to the song they just wrote for the commercial.

[A]

Oh, so there was. So there was no, like. Like, sharing.

[B]

That was later.

[A]

I don't know if I like that part, but.

[B]

Right, right, right. That is. That's a very Carpenter's part. This is exactly what I'm talking about. Yeah. So the guy who writes the song because Tony Asher, who wrote God Only Knows, breaks his arm skiing, and they're like, well, I can't write this song. How about Paul Williams, who was a young staff writer?

[A]

Yeah, Paul Williams from Phantom of the Mall or Phantom of the Paradiso.

[B]

Paradise.

[A]

Paradise.

[B]

Yeah. It's a Brian De Palma film.

[A]

That movie's gonna freak me out.

[B]

So he wrote Rainbow Connection?

[A]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

He's like. He.

[A]

I met him. I think I met him.

[B]

Oh, tell me how.

[A]

Where was it? It was. It was. It was at a thing.

[B]

Crazy Girls.

[A]

I wish. Oh, that would have. I should have said that. That was a perfect. That's why you're a comic genius, dude. Now I forget where. But I. But I had a moment and I shook his hand and.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I knew. I knew immediately, but this is the.

[B]

Start of his career. This is the start of him getting noticed. And so he. He writes this song. Then they. They fill out the whole song. They give it to the Carpenters. They give it the Richard Carpenter treatment. And. Let's listen to this. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's. Yeah.

[A]

What are we playing?

[B]

We've Only Just Begun. We already played the beginning part of it. Yeah. We don't have to hear this again.

[A]

No. Let's do a taste. You want to pick it up?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Taste the part where.

[A]

Where I hate it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So it's probably a little bit deeper in with, like.

[B]

This is not electric guitar music. This is nothing like.

[A]

Like. I thought. I thought it was going to go.

[B]

To where I. I know it's all right here.

[A]

Just skip it. We've only just begun to leave. 1.2 million views. White Lace and Promises so breathy. A kiss for luck and we're on our way. We only. Oh, there it is.

[B]

The treatment.

[A]

The treat.

[B]

This is the Richard Garpenter treatment.

[A]

Wow. You can cut like skip ahead to the. To just go like maybe like. Yeah, like a little bit. Like. Like sharing a hunky dun. That's it right there. Yeah.

[B]

Very good.

[A]

Actually, maybe I don't hate this part. Tambourine range, by the way, I started bringing a tambourine on stage with me. Now when I do all my music stuff by myself, I think it went really well.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Love it.

[B]

So anyway, if there's anything now, we're just going to. Thank you so much. That was perfect. Your Honor, if we. By the way, at the same time, right after this, there was. We've got. I'd like to teach the world to sing. Do you remember that commercial song? Same idea. Like it was. It was all across the country. They were like Dusenberry. And all of these different ad guys are like, oh, we don't have to have somebody holding the product pointing at it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We can just make people feel good about coke or this bank or something like that. Real. I loved. I'm into. I'm into the history of advertising.

[A]

I love that. So you love Mad Men.

[B]

I'm not familiar. So these are the two songs that are most important on this album. That's it. These are the two big hits.

[A]

Everything else. I mean, there's something else is interesting.

[B]

It's. Everything is just fills out called these two songs. And this is the start of their incredible ascent. They're both gold records about. Million sellers. All of that. And so this is this. This is what you need to know about this album called Close to you. Those two songs. I mean, there's other songs. They do help. They do. Mr. Guter. That's an interesting. But there's nothing else on this album.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, I definitely. When you think of why this record and why it's important. Important. Those two songs are the ones that have survived and are still. I wouldn't say just as relevant. But you go to a wedding. I mean, we've only just begun. I played a million times. You did. Oh, my God. Yeah.

[B]

More than closely. We've only just begun not only became a wedding song, also became a graduation song and a prom song. And anytime before Green Day. What's it called? Good.

[A]

Good riddance. Yeah.

[B]

The time of your life.

[A]

Time of your life. There's also. There's also that song by. Oh, the girl Not Vitamin C. Maybe that was.

[B]

She had the.

[A]

She had the graduation song. I also loved when they do the Billy Joel one. Not Matter of Trust. But not the one where he's like, H, 1, 2, 1, 2, 3. No, it was. Oh, hell, what was the one? Doesn't make a difference. But that was a big. That there's like.

[B]

But anyway, this is. There's been many of those kind of songs, but this one, especially for people of that era, this song has an emotional impact. But this is before really, Karen starts singing the tragic. What Paul Williams would call codependent anthems, which he started writing for her. This. After this album. And then. Then they just had a bunch of singles. Like. There was one. The next one was called Rainy Days and Mondays. Do you know that?

[A]

I don't.

[B]

Oh, you don't know Rainy Days. Okay, pull that one again. It's not on this album, but it's very important.

[A]

Yeah. Put up Rainy Days and Mondays.

[B]

Is that Rainy Days? And this is. Yeah. And L. She's 20 years old when she sings this. Listen to the first lyric. The first. Yeah, the lyric. Here we go.

[A]

Here we go.

[B]

Again. Super soft openings.

[A]

Yeah, they really. They really draw you in. Oh, I do know this. Yeah.

[B]

Just listen. Talking to myself and feeling old Sometimes I'd like to quit Nothing ever seems.

[A]

To fit Hanging around Nothing to do.

[B]

But frown Rainy days and Mondays Always get me dry Wait, let's keep it going. Keep it going.

[A]

It.

[B]

Watch this part. What I got. They used to call the Bl. Nothing is really Wrong. Okay. So you get it.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It. That's powerful. I don't know if you feel that or.

[A]

No, I do.

[B]

You do?

[A]

But also, I saw with. It's. With the images of her.

[B]

Yeah, the images of her. And she's again, singing behind the drum set. She's sitting behind her.

[A]

Yeah. Like. I mean, but is she the most attractive drummer or are you going Don Henley. I know you love Don Henley.

[B]

Yeah. Especially when he wore the plaid shirt.

[A]

Oh, God. Remember that era, dude? Remember? Have him tattooed to me.

[B]

So this is the start of her singing these very tragic women songs. And unfortunately, this is what happens in her life. She lives this. She never really finds romance. She has this terrible marriage later on. And she.

[A]

She has anorexia.

[B]

Or is it nervosa? Yeah.

[A]

What is it?

[B]

It's called anorexia. Nervous. And that's where you have a. A skewed version of yourself. She. I. I don't want to get. Anyway, we got to know.

[A]

She. We gotta get it.

[B]

He had an hourglass figure, so she had like, big hips.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And that she was always trying to.

[A]

Like, slim those down.

[B]

Slim. And especially this is what happened. And they became famous. They start touring all the time. All the time. Hundreds of shows a year. And they pull her out from behind the drum kit.

[A]

They want her up front. They want people to see her. Yeah.

[B]

And so she's now like, oh, well, I gotta be thin. And so between that and the pressure of touring and all of that, she developed this very disease that, I mean, every comedian made jokes of. It was like, oh, I know the cure. Eat a donut. You know, I mean, it was like that kind of thing. But it's a really obsessive focus on your. On your weight and things like that. So it's. Anyway, so that was the. That was, to me, part of the start of that decline. Now, in the same time, with all the touring, Richard, the clean cut older kid.

[A]

Drugs. Drugs? No way.

[B]

Yeah. He starts doing. Started doing sleeping pills and then. Really, what's the drug? The 714 drug.

[A]

7 14.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are you talking. Oh, yeah.

[A]

I always wish I would have done one of those.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

In fun. But.

[B]

And so. So he ends up having to go to a drug rehab center out of state. Yeah.

[A]

Both of them had problems. Yeah.

[B]

And again, what. What was shocking for all of us who, like the Carpenters were like, oh, this is the clean cut Life. You can. And you just. You can't escape. And they just work, too.

[A]

They. They worked. So they did. They work. Them. They. The touring schedule must have been.

[B]

Yeah, and I think that was on them as well. They were, you know, they were like, let's do that. And then they had hit after hit after hit. They had, you know, super, you know, superstar. Do you know that song? And I don't. Top of the world and I won't last a day without you. Another one of those sad songs. And so anyway, they. This is after all, this album that we're here to talk about. But that. And then by the late 70s, they had sort of fallen out of fashion a little, like. Because it was the same kind of sound. Yeah. They tried to do some science fictiony stuff, but.

[A]

What do you mean, science fictiony stuff?

[B]

They just had this weird song about. I don't even.

[A]

It's like aliens are flying up above our head.

[B]

It's just a really weird.

[A]

Get me a Quaalude. Get that sandwich away from me. My hips are big. I'm a chubby kid.

[B]

But she was a tomboy. She was like. She was very athletic. So, anyway, she ends up dying from this. Believe it or not, like, her. Her heart gives out and her. I assume her organs were starting to shut down from lack of. At age 32, dead at 32.

[A]

Did people know? I mean, obviously.

[B]

They must have. Her arms were like a bird.

[A]

Can we. Would you mind pulling up a picture? I just want to see.

[B]

No, healthy there.

[A]

She looks healthy, I'm saying. But do they have, like, a shot of her trying to find one?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. I. That's crazy that if you looked at these two people, I know I can understand her weight because that's something that.

[B]

Excellent.

[A]

God, it was just something that people will always have. Just body dysmorphia and. Yeah. And. Yeah, you can almost see it there.

[B]

Like, her face is angular.

[A]

Yeah. And it's like. You could see the deep chest. Yeah. That one there's. Go down a little bit. A little older picture. You see it go with your. Yeah, right there. No, no, the left. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Dude. There was a girl. Yeah, I. I saw there was a girl.

[B]

That's really heartbreaking.

[A]

There's a girl at the gym, at my old gym. And she would just be running and running and running, and she was bones. And it's like, really? Yeah. And you're. You can't say anything. I don't know this person, of course, you know, but it's like, you. I always try to, like, you know, if you see somebody that might be a little out of shape at the gym, I always try to, like. Like, be nice to them. Like, hey, what's going on? Like, he see you again.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Hey, you're looking great. Like, I always try to give people, you know, props because I understand, because I have. I know this sounds so stupid. I have body dysmorphia.

[B]

You do? Yeah.

[A]

I'll just. I'll think that, like, oh, man, I'm getting fat. And I'm not at all. It's just if I eat too much or I've been, you know.

[B]

You know why I have talent? Dysmorphia.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I look at. I'm always like. I think I'm more talented than I actually am.

[A]

You're so talented, but you are the most talented, I think.

[B]

But actually not so. So that's. I mean, there's many other, like, you know, stories involved with it, but that's basically the story of the car again. Hit single after single after single. Top of the charts, gold records. But they. They were always. And again, this is right in my wheelhouse. They were always a little bit of a Like a novelty act, let me say, besides, like, Nixon had them over at the White House to perform at the White. You know what I mean? He was like, yeah, it was that band. You can't imagine Steppenwolf at the. You know, Magikar.

[A]

You know, I love that you pick Steppenwolf out of all bands, right.

[B]

To perform at the White House.

[A]

So they've sold over 100 million records, right? Close to you. Honored at the Grammy hall of Fame Awards. Backre the carp career with five contrast they had. So it's the career of which five contained two or more 20 top 20 hits on the Billboard 110 singles were certified gold. 22 peaked in the top 10 adult contemporary. Paul McCartney has said Karen has the best female voice in the world. Melodic, tuneful, and distinctive impact on music. Michael Jackson was a huge fan. Scott Weiland of Velvet Revolver said it was. He's a major fan of them. Sonic Youth, the Cranberries.

[B]

I have to say, they're. I feel like they're great. I know this sounds bizarre. They're great headphone band.

[A]

Like, they're great to listen to it with good quality.

[B]

Yeah. To really get what they're doing. Especially because they start off. The first verse is always pretty stark. And then they. The Richard Carpenter treatment comes in, and then all of a sudden you hear crazy. You know, again, this soft bed of, you know, voices that are stacked on. Stacked and stacked. Less. Paul.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, it really is. That was something that stood out to me is how well the recording is.

[B]

And.

[A]

Oh, I did listen to this on headphones. I. This could be a good. If you're. If you're ever having, like, a bad trip on a psychedelic or something, or even just weed, if you're feeling bad, this is a. I mean. I mean, I could see it also making you feel a little bit sadder, too, because there's a lot of that.

[B]

Like you said, the melancholy. No question, very melancholy. And they. They leaned into it. In fact, one of their songs, their hit songs, is a song that Richard wrote with his writing partner Bettis. I think his name's John Bettis, called Goodbye to Love. Okay, already that song sounds. But what's interesting in that song, some people think that is the first power ballad because on a Carpenter song, they have a crazy electric guitar solo at the end of it.

[A]

It really.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's why you love them. You love that little nook. You love that little nook.

[B]

I'd love. You know, and that song. There's a song called Superstar that Leon Russell wrote that's Incredible about. It was originally called Groupie. It was about her sleeping with a guy in the band and then just listening to him on the radio.

[A]

Oh, wow, dude. So what ended up happening with the brother, like. Because obviously Karen dies in the early 80s.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

What happens to the brother besides just, you know. Because, you know, are. They're set up. Right. I mean, obviously that up.

[B]

They're.

[A]

They have money and they're probably kids.

[B]

So he's try. You know, he's. Again, he's. Whatever. He has a family. He lives in Thousand Oaks. He's still alive. He could have been on this podcast.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

And again, his. His talents, besides hyper ability to arrange, was picking the material for his little sister.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Little sister. And it's just a miracle that she had this voice. Like, it's just. She could have just had a leg. A normal choral voice, you know, upper register. And I don't think any of these songs would have resonated the way they did.

[A]

It's literally just her.

[B]

And she was. She went from a drummer who sings to the singer who then drums. She would always pop back on this.

[A]

Yeah. Because every performance, she's always playing the drums.

[B]

Yeah. But then if you see the live stuff, she's out. She's out front.

[A]

Can we get a. Can you pull up, like, a live performance of. What do you want to do Close to you? But I would love one where she's actually singing it. I don't want, like, doing it. Like, I don't want her doing, like, top of the.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Is there a famous performance when these.

[B]

There's many of them. There's maybe that London thing that. That show she does in London is pretty good. That's a TV show. And that. She's singing live on that.

[A]

Really? In London. Usually in London's the one that they always.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

They always make them, like, lip sync and they.

[B]

And she. Again, this was not only in the United States. This is. I'm holding up a. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Let's see this.

[B]

It's called Carpenter's Live in Japan. You can't buy this in the United States.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

It's only. I had to get it at some crazy flea market. Oh, yeah. And that.

[A]

Here we go. Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Richard Carpenter. Shaboom.

[B]

I mean, look what he's wearing. This is as anti rock and roll as you. He's, like, in a white suit.

[A]

Yeah. What is that, like, frill, too?

[B]

That, like, pirate thing in the middle? Yeah, yeah. So where's she. She's Coming out. She's coming out. So he'd go over the little. Oh, oh, oh. Now he's going to do some kind of comedy thing.

[A]

I think I know that guy.

[B]

You do?

[A]

I think he works here at the Comedy Store.

[B]

I don't know what this is.

[A]

Where's Karen?

[B]

She's on the drums.

[A]

Yeah. Cut a little bit, cuz.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This is 46 minutes long.

[B]

Is that her? Okay.

[A]

Do we want to find her singing?

[B]

Yeah, There's a Kind of Heart. She's doing this as a cover.

[A]

All over the world tonight.

[B]

All over the world.

[A]

You can hear the sounds of Love is in Love.

[B]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Two of us. Oh, wow. Ain't nobody. She sounds great. You can cut it. You cut it. Get right there. Go to jumping right there. Let's see. Let's see. We can get her up behind the drums. This is a whole concert. Go towards the end and then we'll wrap this up so we can do intros. Yeah, you're gonna do the intro with me too.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I'm gonna pee and then you're gonna do the intro and then we're gonna do it.

[B]

Listen, we have a hard out. We have a hard out.

[A]

The one that's gone viral is dancing in the Street. Let's do that.

[B]

Oh, no, that's.

[A]

No, never mind. Let's not do that.

[B]

That is her. When the shoes with the trio. And she's just kind of. Of singing behind. That's not really. I mean, yeah, it's interesting because she's playing the drums and stuff, but I.

[A]

Don'T know if they put her behind a drum set in this.

[B]

In this.

[A]

Get to another clip. And while you do that, is there anything we need to. We may. We really need to say or talk about when it comes to this record. I looked over the notes and there really isn't much.

[B]

I mean, there's. No. There's a song that you wrote called Mr. Gooder, which is about when they got got. Believe it or not, Richard Carpenter got fired from Disneyland.

[A]

Believe it or not, I'm walking on air.

[B]

Let's see what this is.

[A]

This is the Ed Sullivan Show.

[B]

Oh, really? Okay.

[A]

I don't think she's. Yeah. She's not lip syncing, is she?

[B]

No, I don't think so.

[A]

I love her bangs.

[B]

Yeah. You like this part now?

[A]

I love.

[B]

What happened to you? What do you like about her? What do you like? What are you getting into? I. I love.

[A]

No, because I understand the pain that she dealt with. I. And I can imagine how hard that is to suddenly go from being a nobody to being huge. And.

[B]

And she was just supporting her brother.

[A]

She's just, like, trying to enjoy it and be.

[B]

Then suddenly she's in the front and she's.

[A]

Yeah, dude, I get it. I understand. And I. It breaks my heart. It breaks my heart that she, you know, didn't get to live longer and see how many people love her music. And, you know, there's. There's always tragic stories, but it's always drugs. On this podcast, Drugs took them out, you know, and then you have, like, those, like, Marvin Gaye type stories where it's like, there's a murder, but it's.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But this is, like, just her not being able to be okay with herself. And. Yeah, that's tough, man.

[B]

That's really tough.

[A]

And then the music is also so melancholy that it feels like there was a lot. There's actual pain behind it.

[B]

There's a song she sings called I won't last a day without you. Like, it's. It's like. It's so good. And. And even that song, Rainy Days and Mondays, like, talking to myself and feeling old.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sang that when she was 20.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

20. Talking to myself, feeling old.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Nothing seems to fit.

[A]

That's heavy, dude.

[B]

Yeah, it's really heavy. And that's all, you know, those Paul Williams songs. And then they wrote. Other people wrote in that style of what Paul Williams was doing, and it was just beautiful. You know, I just. I love her, and I'm so heartbreaking. It's heartbreaking. Thank you for letting me do.

[A]

Of course. Of course. Here. I don't know anything about the Carpenters.

[B]

I only know when you heard those songs. Was there anything.

[A]

Oh, yeah, no, I know those songs.

[B]

Right, right, right. Okay.

[A]

But. But the. Their story is. Is not familiar to me.

[B]

Yeah. They're from Connecticut. Yeah. I got all of this John Bettis. It's all her. It's a miracle. Her voice was that voice.

[A]

Yeah. Well. And that their father saw it so early.

[B]

In him.

[A]

In. Yeah. And then in him. She ended up being this.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It was so funny is that you were saying all this. This tragic stuff at the end, and I was like, the whole time like, I gotta pee so bad.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

I had to pee so bad, and I didn't want to come off. See, you know.

[B]

Right.

[A]

Unempathetic or It's. Yeah, man. What did I miss while I was going? Anything?

[B]

No, we were just praising Karen Carpenter.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And how amazing that the parents were supporting him. I mean, and then she becomes the big.

[A]

So she's the real star of the group.

[B]

No question. No question. I don't know what would have happened to him. He might have just become, like, a sessions arranger or something like that.

[A]

Great career still.

[B]

Maybe. Maybe. But his sessions are. They're so specific to that kind of music.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It's not like. Yeah.

[A]

And did he do anything that you said he didn't. He just. No.

[B]

And he's done concerts and, you know, because he's an incredible piano player and he still plays, you know, jazz concert. He does tributes to the Carpenters and Class. Like, different arrangements of their songs and tours and stuff, but nothing really that was on the charts or anything like that. He did say something. He said that they. He feels that they were born to augment each other's talents. Right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I think that's true. I think that's true. I don't know if this was a divine plan, but think about it. She was there. Oh, I'll play drums in your little jazz band. To be near my big brother and hang out and I'm pretty good drummer. And then cut to, you know, she's the face of the whole thing. She's out front.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And he's. And literally. And was part of. It was like, oh, you're the piano player in the Carpenters. So he was.

[A]

He was like, carpenters.

[B]

Right. But I'm just saying, just think about that. Like, the whole thing was built around him. And that at the end, people are like, oh, yeah, you're the piano player.

[A]

God, man, that's such a Carpenter. That's such a nutty story. Yeah. God, we wouldn't. You know, I'd love for you to come back one time, but I don't think it's ever gonna happen.

[B]

It's not gonna happen. I just blew it. I bl.

[A]

I think this is the last one I tried.

[B]

I did my best.

[A]

You did so.

[B]

I did my level best.

[A]

You did so good. Sidebar, your honor. I'll allow it. Yes. What's your favorite song on the record?

[B]

I have to say it's We've Only Just Begun. More than Close to you. Even though I think Close to you is maybe a better song. I just love the Paul Williams angle. The Cracker Bank. How rhiny. The whole. How it became the legend of it is just too good.

[A]

That's my favorite, least favorite song on the record.

[B]

This is gonna be controversial. It might be their cover of Help.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. I know. I know people love it. I know they love their version of Ticket to Ride, but it's just. I feel like it misses what that song is. And again, Help. Like, that's. That would be right up Karen's Carpenter's Alley, that she would sing all of those kind of songs about.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Being broken and stuff.

[A]

All right, here's your question.

[B]

Oh, no. Can you just say make out to?

[A]

What song would you make out? Make out to?

[B]

It's got to be close to you. It's got to be.

[A]

Did you ever. You ever kiss a girl to that?

[B]

I don't know. I was more like. When I was kissing girls in Florida and Plantation, it was way more like we were listening to Gay Me. Three Steps while we're making a Duvall. He's a little more Skinner down there. Yeah.

[A]

What would be your. Your elevator pitch to get someone to listen to this record?

[B]

One of the most remarkable, miraculous bands in the history of music and the greatest brother sister act ever in music. As far as selling records. The only one I can think of that comes close might be, if you count Billie Eilish. What's her brother's name? Phineas Finney and Phineas. Yeah, it might be. But do you count them as a duo or just.

[A]

I mean, she writes.

[B]

She produced.

[A]

He writes everything and she sings everything. I think that she's definitely there with the songwriting, but I think.

[B]

But he also arranges and produces those, so it is sort of similar. Right. But is he older than her?

[A]

I think so, yes.

[B]

So it is interesting. Yeah. So that would be the closest. And also, like, if you're into siblings like the Bee Gees or the Kinks or. Who else are I thinking of?

[A]

Oasis.

[B]

Oasis, yeah, Oasis, of course. Bands that are, like, grew up in whatever that little friction creates. You might be interested in this band. But Lush, a voice from God, that's lays on top of incredible, lush arrangements.

[A]

I love it. All right. I love you.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

I'm so happy for you to come on. So we got to do it live, everybody.

[B]

My favorite.

[A]

We got to do it live. We should do it more often. Well, we'll try to do. And, you know, like I said, what we'll try to do is talk to Brian. We'll talk to Brian. We'll work at that. Also, big thanks to everybody here at the Comic Store. It's the best comedy club in the world. The podcast studio they built here is incredible. So thank you for letting us use it. Promote away. I know we talked about some of the documentaries coming up, but that's it.

[B]

That's. Yeah, that's basically It. I'm doing it. When is this?

[A]

This comes out tomorrow.

[B]

Oh yeah. I'm doing a benefit. I believe it or not. Cantors next Tuesday.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Or children of people that were affected by the fire.

[A]

I love it. Who else is? Not the fire. Not the people that are affected. But no, no, no.

[B]

We're impacted by the fire.

[A]

Yes. Sorry, but. But then I said I love it and I was like just yeah, yeah, and can and yeah.

[B]

And one of the things was like, you know, we don't. They never pay for. For benefits. But as much food as I want to eat. Ooh, what are you thinking? What should I order?

[A]

You should get us.

[B]

You can jump in, judge.

[A]

Oh, I love camp.

[B]

Yeah. Tell me what I should order again. Free food riding on the back of the victims of the fire.

[A]

My go to lately I'm a breakfast guy. So I do the Sam and the Salmon Benny.

[B]

Oh, Salmon Benny.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

It's really good. They give you way too much cream cheese. I have a real problem with canners. They waste cream cheese. And the problem with canners and I and I, we used to go there all the time. I have a song.

[B]

I've been there with you.

[A]

Yeah. I want a Regala. Who wants a rugala? Let's go get a chocolate rug. Who wants a rug? We've get the whole kitchen singing it. The problem with canners is hi Lekka. Is that they're not consistent.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It's never the same. So whoever's cooking the sunrise.

[B]

Wide of too wide. It's got to be.

[A]

Got too much shit. You got too much shit.

[B]

You're going to when it's good. Phenomenal. Yes, phenomenal.

[A]

Pickles and ranch. You ever do that?

[B]

No, we always. I would never do it. Bagels. I don't even have them. Bring pickles to the table.

[A]

Really? You hate pickles.

[B]

Not compared to a pastrami sandwich. Compared to some salmon on a bagel.

[A]

Pastrami is. There's Pastrami is really good.

[B]

Compared to soup. Soup.

[A]

But the problem is, like I said, it's never.

[B]

Why would you waste your. It makes no sense.

[A]

Well, the problem is, is that you love the. You want the. The like. I want the sunrise sandwich. Which is just like. Like a. Basically a bacon and egg and cheese sandwich. But they. And I'll be like, I want it. Oh, I want the. The. The yolk runny. And then they overcook it and then I gotta send it back and then it comes back again.

[B]

Sorry. I brought this. I'm sorry, bro.

[A]

It's a diner. Come on.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

It's the diner of LA judge. Your honor.

[B]

Your honor.

[A]

Your honor.

[B]

Well, strike that from you.

[A]

Strike that. I love you, buddy.

[B]

All right.

[A]

This was so great. Thank you.

[B]

Thank you for having me.

[A]

Tell you what did I tell you? The one and only Wayne Fetterman. Like he said, follow him on Instagram at instafetterman, Twitter at Federman and and support this guy. This guy is. Is. Is arguably my favorite guest. It's a gift to have you here every week. Every week. I wish it was every week. You won't be the co host, but you should.

[B]

You're making a bet. I don't like compliments, so let's move on.

[A]

All right. All right. So for new music this week, Distro Kid, our proud sponsor has picked Poor Broken Man. Oh my God. By Andy Bender. This is my buddy, I've. This is a guy from. From New York that's a huge fan of mine. What's up, Andy? You can find links to the music on our website, the500podcast.com and if you are in a band and we're directly influenced by one of these albums or artists that influenced you, send us your song to 500 podcast gmail.com, put the artist and album that you in were influenced by in the subject line and we will play your song on the 500 next week. It's Bob Dylan week. As we go deep into 1970 76's desire. Do you know that one?

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

Well, we might need you. You never know. Please know if you haven't listened. Do your homework. Thank you, Comedy Store. See you next week. Now I'm at the age I get the hand. Thank you. They never told me it just gets harder I work all day just to drink the night away they all think you're smarter if you see the barber you can fake it through the day.

[B]

If you look the same.

[A]

Gonna kill me Another year and I'll be dead New York is gonna kill me Leaving here poor broken man police around here no one fakes they're happy no one smiles when they're down the time I piss myself in a taxi Dragged me out and left me on the ground no one cares what you wanted as a kid Everybody works until they die My life's on trouble fair it really lets you know it One day you'll finally see it's all alive New York is going to kill me Another year and I'll be dead New York is going to kill me.

[B]

Leave a year.

[A]

For broken men it the 500 keeping it flee see for the fleece nation on the 500 the 500 hey everyone, this is Tuck from Fit for a King, an off road minivan Every week I bring you fun interviews alongside your favorite metalcore entertainers with my new podcast, Get Tucked. Join me every Monday with bands like Counterparts, Crystal Lake, Like Moths to Flames, and many more. We play unsigned and undiscovered bands, deep dive into each artist's history and of course provide the greatest breakdowns in current metalcore. Tune in to Get Tucked every Monday. Out now through Sound Talent, Media, Porn, Satan, Drugs, Therapy it's not just the list of what I'm up to this weekend.

[B]

I'm comedian Kiki Anderson, and those are.

[A]

Just a handful of the taboo topics I've poked and prodded at so far on my podcast Indecent, the show where we peel at the wallpaper of polite society. Each episode digs into the dark underbelly of our culture to dissect the things we aren't allowed to talk about around the dinner table. Featuring conversations with comedians, activists, journalists, academics, they all help me figure out the who, what and why behind what Is and Isn't Acceptable Behavior and Decent with Keke Anderson, Where NSFW meets LMAO Next Chapter Podcast.