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Richard Kind
Since I did Serious Man, I get offered every Jewish role.
Adam Friedland
Isn't that just so offensive?
Richard Kind
It's not that offensive. I don't blame them.
Adam Friedland
So we're not going to do that. Next pitch that I have for you, it's a.
Richard Kind
It's not Jewish.
Adam Friedland
It's about the first Jew who died in the Holocaust.
Richard Kind
Oh, that's funny.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah.
Richard Kind
I mean, like, it's like, come on, it's one Jew.
Adam Friedland
No, he's like, in line.
Richard Kind
It's like one Jew.
Adam Friedland
He's like, in line for the first.
Richard Kind
The first Jew to.
Adam Friedland
I think it's a good idea. Hello and welcome to the Adam Friedland Show. I'm Adam Friedland. As always, I gotta shout out our members here on YouTube.com if you would like to join the Friedland Family foundation and get bonus content, your name in the credits, discounts on merch, and access to episodes before everyone else. You can do so by hitting the join button at the top of the page or by clicking the link in the description below. Also, if you prefer to support us through Patreon, we have a link in our description to our Patreon. My guest this week is beloved character actor Richard Kind. Of course, he's known for his roles in projects such as serious man, Sharknado2. The list goes on and on. He's the kind of actor where every time he appears on the screen, he just makes you smile. You feel like you've run into an old friend or something. Kind of like when you see. What's her name? Fucking. What's the redhead from Boogie Nights?
Richard Kind
Julianne Moore.
Adam Friedland
Kind of like when you see Julianne Moore's tits. Now, during the research process, I try to find some commonality between me and the guest. And I'll be honest with you guys, this one had me stumped. Like, what could I possibly have in common with character actor Richard Kind? As many of you know, I'm an outsider in the traditional media complex. People have described me as a punk rocker or a disruptor. I don't know what that means. But Richard Kyne could not be further from my world. He's a Hollywood mainstay. He's entrenched in the establishment, the studio system, and he's been there for decades. He's bedded some of the most beautiful women in Hollywood, famously. And I prefer to keep my sexuality a secret. Kind of like Pedro Pascal. I enjoy spending my time with my staff here at the Adam Friedland Show. Meanwhile, Richard is someone who rubs shoulders with a listers. His best friend is George Clooney. And his second best friend is George Clooney's wife. But despite the circumstances, this was one of the most intriguing and inspiring conversations of my life. Two strangers from two different worlds who, through the power of dialogue, find that we're all just human. We live in divided times. Most Americans prefer binging on streaming services instead of helping a neighbor who's being beaten to death. So after the end credits. Theme song plays in this episode. And you're sitting there in your living room, go out of your house, go up to a stranger, any stranger, don't be afraid, no matter who it is, and say hello. I think you're going to like what happens next. So with that, my interview with Richard Kahn. Guys, enjoy it. He's Jewish also. Oh, he's also Jewish.
Richard Kind
You are so right.
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Well, should we leave the Juliane Moore part?
Richard Kind
I think it's fine.
Adam Friedland
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Richard Kind
Sit down, sit down. Everybody sit down. The band sounds great.
Adam Friedland
Oh, my gosh. No, we. We pipe them in. We have cool in the gang, actually.
Richard Kind
Is that true?
Adam Friedland
Live via satellite.
Richard Kind
Nice.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah. They play a different song. It's incredibly expensive. Thank you for coming.
Richard Kind
My pleasure to be.
Adam Friedland
I was 15 minutes late. It's.
Richard Kind
But why?
Adam Friedland
My. My dog ate some.
Richard Kind
Oh, that's the worst I just heard last night. I'm walk. I'm walking on the street. Yeah. And two beautiful dogs and lovely, lovely woman.
Adam Friedland
I wouldn't call them that.
Richard Kind
What? The woman was not a dog. The dogs were dogs.
Adam Friedland
All Right. Come on.
Richard Kind
But the woman was describing one of the dogs ate a towel. And they. They sit at home together, and she has a camera, and she watches the dogs during the day while she's at work. They don't play with each other, and they're brother and sister.
Adam Friedland
Oh, my God.
Richard Kind
Isn't that sort of fascinating?
Adam Friedland
You want to hear something beautiful? Go ahead. Okay. My dog, she's a real piece of crap. I got her off the streets.
Richard Kind
Great.
Adam Friedland
No, I rescued her. She's a pit bull. She's from Bedford Stuyvesant.
Richard Kind
Now I have to like you.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, I'm a really good guy. Her name's Isis, which was difficult. I call her Icy because I can't be at the dog park. I can't be like, I'm training with isis, you know, Like. Okay, of course.
Richard Kind
So.
Adam Friedland
So Isis, first of all, Isis has been shitting all night in the house. It's like I have a newborn or something. Yeah, she's sick. She's sick right now. So, yeah, I haven't gotten any sleep. And, you know, she's a big fan, too. It would break her heart if she.
Richard Kind
Knew what's her favorite thing I've done. Go ahead. Okay. I'm kidding. Go ahead. Talk about the dog. We gotta hurry. We gotta hurry.
Adam Friedland
In general, is smelling piss is her favorite thing? But, yeah, she can't get enough of it, actually.
Richard Kind
So what. What's the diagnosis?
Adam Friedland
So, I don't know. She. They just gave her some antibiotics or something, and I'm feeding her. Right.
Richard Kind
Okay, let me ask a couple of questions. How long ago did you find her?
Adam Friedland
I found her now, I think, 10. 10 years ago. Okay, so. So she was a depressed woman. Okay? She. And some guy was like. I was just breeding her at my. At my grandmother's house. She has nowhere to live, and. And her, like, nipples were distended because she was a breeder dog for, like, fight dogs, right? Miserable. She was depressed. She was like. And she was sad. And when I got her. And then she got a big, huge street fight, like, within a week of me getting her. And I'd never had a dog before. And I. Listen, I'm like the definition of a gentrifier. Like, I'm like a Jewish guy that's, like, 150 pounds wet, with, like, a murder machine on a leash. And so she gets in this terrible fight with this other pit bull. And then with another pit, this Bagger Vance shows up, this ghost. And he said, you want to get the dogs to stop fighting? He's like, you got to put a stick up they ass. And then. So I put a. I was putting a stick up my ass.
Richard Kind
Hold on.
Adam Friedland
Wait, wait.
Richard Kind
Are you serious? A stick up the ass?
Adam Friedland
A stick up the ass. Well, it'll get anyone to stop fighting. Really.
Richard Kind
I understand. But there's. There's a. An expression. Put a stick up their ass. And then there's the reality of sticking a stick up the race.
Adam Friedland
I literally, I. I couldn't find a stick, so I ended up putting. Full disclosure. I ended up putting. I'm not. I'm no kink. Kinky guy. But I put my. I put my finger. And then she released immediately. Anyway, so terrible dog, but she's been. She loves. Okay, we're walking. We're walking down the street. We see a boy dog. This is like a year ago. A doppelganger. Exactly. Looks exactly like her. And I said, oh, my God, they could be twins. My dog starts jumping up, spinning, jumping up, spinning, jumping up, spinning. The. The boy dogs, like, bored. He doesn't care. I say, oh, yeah, you know, like, she's a Brooklyn dog. I got her on, like, you know, on green, between, like, Malcolm X. And I forgot the other Crossfree. And he said, oh, this dog's from that same block. I said, how old is he? How old is he? And they said, he's nine. And I said, she's 10. And so I think she met her son.
Richard Kind
That's crazy.
Adam Friedland
I started weeping.
Richard Kind
But there's so many things I'm going to go back to. Another part of the story is the amount of legal damage that could have been thrust upon you, much less physical damage. Much less physical damage to you. To physical damage to somebody else with a dog like that. Like you say, it's a killing machine.
Adam Friedland
She was still in survival mode.
Richard Kind
I mean, I heard a story about somebody walking their dog on in the Hamptons, and the dog attacked the other dog, killed it.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah, that's classic Hamptons for you, isn't it, Dunkley?
Richard Kind
I mean, they're just. Maybe the Hamptons is ruthless.
Adam Friedland
Maybe in West Hampton, you know, they.
Richard Kind
Bring laws to the.
Adam Friedland
I don't even consider that the Hamptons. I call it worst Hampton. Okay, we're sorry. Our audience is penniless and alone, so I don't know if that's a good place to start.
Richard Kind
Well, stick a finger up their ass. I'll stick a finger up the ass of all your audience.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, well, it's funny because there is that legendary story. Speaking of crapping in animals, there's the legendary. You were roommates with Mr. George Clooney. I'm sure you're asked about this all the time.
Richard Kind
All the time. Let's not ask about it now.
Adam Friedland
Okay.
Richard Kind
Now I'm going to. I'll stop. I'm going to tell you a couple of things.
Adam Friedland
Took a shit on your dog.
Richard Kind
That's great.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
That's the story I will tell you. I get asked. I. My joke is that under special skills on my resume, I have friend of George Clooney. People. More people ask about George than they ask about me.
Adam Friedland
I didn't mean to.
Richard Kind
I know you don't. And we didn't talk. Let me just say this is how improvised and fresh this is. We didn't even pre interview. So he doesn't know. Don't ask a lot about George because I'm going to tell you why. Is because he gets asked about by me a lot. Number one. Number two, I talk and I talk and I talk and I talk. And I might say something that may be interpreted as negative about George. And you know what? Just recently, I was misquoted in New Yorker magazine and in the. The notes, they. They had like an interview, a fact checking thing. I cleared it up. And still it was printed incorrectly.
Adam Friedland
I read that you. You said that George Clooney wants China to invade Taiwan, didn't you?
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Why would you say.
Richard Kind
This is why I don't like to talk about it. They misunderstand.
Adam Friedland
Why would you say that?
Richard Kind
People misunderstood.
Adam Friedland
That's a globe.
Richard Kind
I know. It's a wrong decision.
Adam Friedland
Wife's at the U.N. i mean, it's just crazy.
Richard Kind
It was horrible. Yeah. Okay. And anything we'll say could be taken by the New York Post and turned. So. So I don't like to talk about George. And yet as stories go on. Yeah, I always bring them up, but I'm not going to. I try not to.
Adam Friedland
You also said that George Clooney said that on January six, they should have finished the job.
Richard Kind
Why are you going there?
Adam Friedland
I don't know.
Richard Kind
You're. You're so. You're so.
Adam Friedland
I was late.
Richard Kind
You're in a diet. What do you want to know about me?
Adam Friedland
I first became aware of you during Spin City. That was like when I was a kid.
Richard Kind
And yet I had a life before that. But that's okay. No, no, no. But that's how old I am.
Adam Friedland
But I understand from my research you grew up in Philly, and you and I were at a very similar crossroads in our lives. We both were gonna go to law school and then we Pursued our fabulous artistic pursuit.
Richard Kind
Yeah. Well, I'd say it. And this is. I mean, anybody who's seen an interview with me, I always say this. My dad's best friend said, try out what, Roy Cohn.
Adam Friedland
He was the lawyer for the McCarthy hearings.
Richard Kind
Well, George. It was George's lawyer. And then told me to hook onto Roy Cohn. So my dad's best friend said, try acting, because when you're 40, you're going to resent your wife and kids for having left your dream behind. So I tried it, and I actually wasn't any good, but I got away with it and I enjoyed it. And then. Okay, I'm gonna tell you something that I think is sort of interesting and it hit me, is that when you're around 27, 28, 29, and you're an actor, all of a sudden, at that age, you want a house, you want kids, you want money, you want the trappings that you knew your parents had. And so you say, enough of this acting. And you'll either go into law or you become a producer, a director or writer or whatever it is, or an agent, and you make a lot more money. When I was 27 or 28, I went to Second City.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
And I was hired. And I worked every night, so I was an actor every night for four and a half years. So I didn't even have time to say. And I was making a living. Not a good living, but I was making a living. And then all of a sudden, I'm 33 years old and, Jesus, what am I gonna do with my life? And I kept being an actor.
Adam Friedland
I think my qualification was if I can make money for rent and everything from just comedy. Like, if I didn't need another job, then I was a comedian.
Richard Kind
I used to say I didn't want to have kids until I could afford to send them to camp.
Adam Friedland
Really?
Richard Kind
Yes.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
Yeah. So that's. We have our. You know, our bar. And I did. I made rent. I could make rent all the time.
Adam Friedland
Did you go to camp growing up?
Richard Kind
Hell, yeah.
Adam Friedland
Me, too.
Richard Kind
Yeah. What camp? Where?
Adam Friedland
In upstate New York. Obviously a Jewish.
Richard Kind
Well, I went to Camp Sunapee on. In New London, New Hampshire.
Adam Friedland
Did you? Did you. Were there girls at yours?
Richard Kind
No.
Adam Friedland
Oh, really?
Richard Kind
No. Were the girls at yours?
Adam Friedland
Oh, yeah.
Richard Kind
Get laid.
Adam Friedland
Frisk third base. Third base?
Richard Kind
Yeah. Okay. I then went to tennis camp and. And didn't get laid. But, you know, when. When. This far?
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Yeah, I was pretty close.
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, I got pretty close. I wasn't doing.
Richard Kind
And she was a good Tennis player.
Adam Friedland
She was too.
Richard Kind
I don't know. Really, I don't.
Adam Friedland
She was funny, though. She was pretty smart.
Richard Kind
Why?
Adam Friedland
I don't know. She probably.
Richard Kind
You know what? You're right. Because I don't get pretty girls. I get smart girls.
Adam Friedland
I. You get you. You've dated some of the most beautiful women.
Richard Kind
I was very lucky. My wife, who is no longer my wife, but is beautiful. Yeah, I've been very lucky. I, I. It's why I don't date, why I don't have as many girlfriends as I would have liked in my life. Because my bar is high, especially with what's on my resume.
Adam Friedland
My problem was, I was. I would watch Seinfeld growing up, and I would see George. I would see George with these elevens, and I'd be like, it's. It's a lie. It's on tv. Obviously, he. And then I moved to New York, and it's. This is the land of.
Richard Kind
This is the place where beautiful, smart. You know what they do us.
Adam Friedland
But us guys, somehow we do. Because they've seen enough, because they've watched Annie Hall. They think it's acceptable to be with a freaking. Thank you. Thank you, Mr. Costanza and Mr. Allen.
Richard Kind
You're right. I mean, very true.
Adam Friedland
It's kind of true.
Richard Kind
Yeah, it's kind of true.
Adam Friedland
I'm never leaving. I can't.
Richard Kind
Do you like la?
Adam Friedland
What do you think? What kind of action could I get going over there in Texas? Do you think I could meet a woman in Texas? No, I was born in la, in fact.
Richard Kind
Were you?
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
If I were a betting man, I would have said you were. Not.
Adam Friedland
I was. Well, I look like I'm Juju.
Richard Kind
Juju. Brooklyn.
Adam Friedland
My parents are from South Africa. Cape Town.
Richard Kind
No kidding.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
I'm going to South Africa. I'm taking my kids on a safari.
Adam Friedland
Oh, you are. Where are you going?
Richard Kind
Botswana.
Adam Friedland
Botswana? Oh, my God. You're going on the good one. I know you're going on the good one. Oh, my God, it's awesome. I. I. Can I come?
Richard Kind
Sure.
Adam Friedland
Okay. We can go see my grandma. Oh, yeah.
Richard Kind
We need somebody to throw out a hit. A little lowering. Oh, your grandmother still lives in. In South Africa?
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's never leaving. Yeah.
Richard Kind
Why? Understand.
Adam Friedland
All the grandmas. All the grandmas stayed. All my parents. Generation of Jews left during. During apartheid. And then the grandmas are like, I'm not going anywhere.
Richard Kind
Of course not.
Adam Friedland
Well, that's not how they talk. But yeah.
Richard Kind
Yeah. Okay. Does she have an accent?
Adam Friedland
Of course. Yeah.
Richard Kind
But not a Jewish Accent?
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Yeah. You know what I realized?
Richard Kind
Can you do an impression of her?
Adam Friedland
Adam, you've got a lot of problems, okay?
Richard Kind
No, that's not what any Jewish grandmother sounds like.
Adam Friedland
I haven't seen you in four years. Here are the things that are wrong with you. So we're competitors in this space. I know you work for the. You work for the other guys. You work for the. For the Red Sox.
Richard Kind
What?
Adam Friedland
You're the announcer for Mulaney's talk show.
Richard Kind
Yeah, but he doesn't have a podcast.
Adam Friedland
This is not a podcast. This is 1000.
Richard Kind
Oh, I see. I see. I see. I see what. What you're saying. Oh, this is a talk show. I thought it was a podcast when I came in here, and you weren't here when you were late. This is a talk show. This is. This is Dick Cavett, who I loved. And I don't blame you. I don't blame you. I know Dick Cavett.
Adam Friedland
You know, I know he's alive.
Richard Kind
He's not just alive. He's a nice man.
Adam Friedland
How old is he? He's like, 90s. Okay.
Richard Kind
Yeah, he's old. Why would you. Why would you point fingers at age? He's an old man.
Adam Friedland
It's great to live longer. I don't want to die ever.
Richard Kind
I don't either. And yet the other night, I'm coming up in my apartment, and it's 2:30 in the morning, and I open the.
Adam Friedland
What's your address?
Richard Kind
And I open the door to the elevator, and there's a man standing there who lives on my floor. Very old man. Very old and wizened and everything. And I go, john, what's the matter? He goes, I'm waiting for my wife. I mean, he's this. He's a little man. And I go, john, do you want to go back to bed? And he goes, yes. And I put him. I take my arm around him and I walk him in, and I walk him to his apartment. And I go. I'm going. I walk him down. I mean, it takes 10 minutes because he's shuffling. And I walk him down, and I don't want to scare his wife, who has no idea that he's roaming the halls waiting for her. I go, louisa, Louisa. We get to the bed. Louisa. I'm doing it softly. And then she just wakes up, and a woman. And she goes, oh. And just hopped out of bed. I took his bathrobe off, helped him into bed. He's got a urine stain the size of my fist. And the saddest thing. So I want to live forever. I want to see my kids grow up. I want to see every good movie that's coming out. I want to see what's going to happen to this country. I love living. I am truly the guy who says I will sleep when I'm dead. I came home at 2:30. My wife left me because I have so much energy. I can't stop. I don't want to be John.
Adam Friedland
I really thought that story was going to have a punchline.
Richard Kind
Hey, I'm not all about funny.
Adam Friedland
I know.
Richard Kind
You can have Anthony Weiner on here. And you wasn't that funny.
Adam Friedland
I wasn't that funny?
Richard Kind
No, you might have been.
Adam Friedland
It was like two.
Richard Kind
I could be talk. I could talk. I'm not funny. Funny funny all the time. You want funny funny?
Adam Friedland
No, no, no, no.
Richard Kind
You want funny funny funny today. No, no, listen, you're not. So I had to look at the coffee cup dance. I had to remember his name.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Richard Kind
I can be funny if you want.
Adam Friedland
No, you don't have to be.
Richard Kind
But I can be false self.
Adam Friedland
I mean, that story was beautiful.
Richard Kind
It's beautiful.
Adam Friedland
It's really sad.
Richard Kind
It was in response to I want to live forever.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, because you saw some disappointments.
Richard Kind
Are we going to use any punctuation in our talking? Like a period and now you talk and then you talk. A period and then I talk. No, no, we're just going to talk over each other and then you're going to say something that I think is important and I'm going to say, what did you say? So that I could respond. Are we getting along?
Adam Friedland
You're my best friend.
Richard Kind
Okay, good.
Adam Friedland
Do you get any points on cosmigos?
Richard Kind
Let's talk about something else.
Adam Friedland
Okay. So you famously said George Clooney once said that the Uyghur concentration camps should be bigger. Why did you say that?
Richard Kind
You're my favorite friend ever.
Adam Friedland
Why would you say that?
Richard Kind
You're my favorite friend ever.
Adam Friedland
Why would George ever say that? One of my favorite roles of yours and it's a film that me up for like three months. I went into a depression and you almost steal the entire movie. Maybe do steal the entire movie. It's a serious man.
Richard Kind
Oh, serious man's great.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
Oh, it's a great movie. Great. You're every once in a while brutal. Well, that's so nice of you.
Adam Friedland
You say you don't watch any of your stuff.
Richard Kind
That one I saw.
Adam Friedland
You have to watch that.
Richard Kind
That one I saw.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, I was gonna. I was gonna.
Richard Kind
I adore that movie. The Coen brothers, I hear. Love that movie. I get lucky. I get. I just. Okay, Adam, you and I are both actors, and look what we look like. I'm not the most telegenic guy in the world.
Adam Friedland
I look all right.
Richard Kind
And the stuff that I get to do, it just. It confounds me how I call myself the Smuckers of acting. With a face like this, I better be good. But I wasn't good for a long time. I pulled one over, and then I got good. And the Coen brothers, the writing is great. Joel as a director, and even Ethan, who says he's not a director, but they both direct it. They both talk to you about it. I knew who this guy was.
Adam Friedland
How do they do it together? They write it together, and then they write it together.
Richard Kind
And I've often said, is it like.
Adam Friedland
Bernie Taupin and Elton John? One does the lyrics.
Richard Kind
You just can't. No, no, no, no. They write it together and they edit together. And I think because. I think because Joel. This is just my. I've never said this. I think just because Joel is a bit larger of a personality, but not that much bigger. He does the directing for the actors. But you talk to Ethan, too, and Ethan was a philosophy major.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
And that makes sense to me. And when they work, they know what they want. I just remember the only. Not disagreement, but I remember the prop guy coming up and saying, do you want. You remember I had this sebaceous cyst. And so I had a washcloth in the back. You never saw the cyst, but you saw the washcloth. And he says, do you want a white washcloth or do you want floral? And one said floral and one said white. And then I don't even know what we came up with. It was neither here nor there.
Adam Friedland
And they did that. Escalate.
Richard Kind
It did.
Adam Friedland
Really?
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
They're like, mom. Mom liked me better.
Richard Kind
We had to call in some security. It was awful. They came to almost fist. They actually did Greco Roman wrestling.
Adam Friedland
Really?
Richard Kind
Yeah. They did not. They did not box. They got down on the floor and they. You know, with the whole thing, and they go. And. And then they wrestled, and they were. And that. That's how they. They. They saw.
Adam Friedland
And you were, like, standing there. You're like, guys, guys, guys, come on.
Richard Kind
It's just a movie.
Adam Friedland
Tap me in.
Richard Kind
Come on. I don't know. Who the hell knows how it.
Adam Friedland
I mean, that. That. That performance is just.
Richard Kind
That's really nice.
Adam Friedland
There's. There's something about that movie that just lingers with you when it's over, I think.
Richard Kind
I know.
Adam Friedland
I called my dad. I said, I saw this movie, Serious man. And my dad said, he's like, I've been depressed since I saw it. I said, I'm depressed too.
Richard Kind
I think it's. I know this sounds crazy. I think it's a great date movie. And I'll tell you why. Is the person you're seeing with that you're dating, are they a thinker? How do they think. What do they think about death? Is it funny to them or was it sad? There's so many things. What is the afterlife, all of that stuff. So I think it's a pretty good. And it can generate discussion, you know, if you run out of discussion, you can talk about something. It's not just a Marvel movie.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, my move back in the day. I have a fiance now, but I used to take the chick to Claude Lansman's show.
Richard Kind
We're having fun, guys and say, who's the bad guy?
Adam Friedland
So I'm a little bit on the fence about this.
Richard Kind
Did they deserve it? What?
Adam Friedland
I'm a wait and see. I'm on the fence. I want to see who wins at the end. Who are you going with? I want to. Okay, you were trained at the Second City. I mean, this is an opportunity for me as a younger gentleman. This is free education for me. Sitting with you and interrupting you.
Richard Kind
That's the stupidest thing you could possibly say. What do you mean, an education?
Adam Friedland
Okay.
Richard Kind
You almost a guy. I'm just a guy. No, I'm just a guy.
Adam Friedland
Okay. So would you be keen on like doing a little like a scene with me?
Richard Kind
An improvised scene or a written scene?
Adam Friedland
We could do either. You could choose.
Richard Kind
Let me tell you something about my improvisation. I'm not as good as everybody thinks. I was never as good as anybody thinks. I'm a good reactor. I can listen and react, but I don't react. Always funny. That's what I did with John with your competition.
Adam Friedland
I would. I would call him a friend and.
Richard Kind
A colleague, but yeah, no, he's your competition. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. And he's a darn sight better.
Adam Friedland
What?
Richard Kind
Because.
Adam Friedland
You know Mandel.
Richard Kind
Yeah. Love him. I love everybody there. There are so many. Some of the stand ups who were on the writing staff. Yeah, these minds, they're. They're so great. Yeah, I. I just loved being on that show and I hated it. Okay, let's talk about that. This is interesting. Is the camera on me? Right?
Adam Friedland
Okay, go to three.
Richard Kind
I was told I was really good on the show. It. I Don't understand it. I didn't know what I was doing. I felt so ungrounded and insecure, and all I did was enjoy myself and try. The best thing I did on that show was keep my mouth shut because I so often, like, you can see how often I talk and I want to ask you questions. And on the panel, I wanted to talk and find out and stuff like that. And I didn't. I said, this is John show. He's funnier than I am. He's more intelligent than I am. And so I kept my mouth shut and I let John do some of the questions. And when I saw just an inkling of him searching for what next to talk about or trying to, I would come in and I'd have like six questions that I'd want to ask these people even before we started. And so I would listen to the conversation and then I would ask a question. I usually asked one question per segment of a person.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
And that's what I did. And then as far as being funny on the show, they gave me written word. And these writers were great. Yeah, they were just, just great.
Adam Friedland
Give it up for the writer stuff at John Mulaney Show.
Richard Kind
It is. But it's true. They were great. I, I, I hope that they hire me when they start doing other stuff.
Adam Friedland
Well, if you, if you need a gig, I do. If you need a gig, you always need a gig. I'm in New York anyway.
Richard Kind
So you live here, by the way. I was at the second game of the Yankees. No, the first game of the Yankees. Heartbreaker. Heartbreaker. I know. Yeah.
Adam Friedland
But now I'm a Dodger fan, actually.
Richard Kind
Is that true?
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Yeah.
Richard Kind
Why are you wearing that?
Adam Friedland
Because with the rise of anti Semitism, like I'm trying to, I'm doing more of a Dominican. I've been doing more of a Puerto Rican Dominican thing. I'm kind of hiding in plain sight. I don't want people to know. You are an actor. You're, you're, you're a keen, you have a keen eye for the world around you, right?
Richard Kind
No.
Adam Friedland
Okay. You've been studying me since you came in here. Yeah, I've been studying you.
Richard Kind
Okay. What have you found out? What have you found out?
Adam Friedland
We'll see where things go. But why?
Richard Kind
Wait? What's your assessment?
Adam Friedland
You. Yeah, you're the best.
Richard Kind
No, what is your. Seriously, what's your assessment? What do you, what do you think about me? You think I'm a keen observer?
Adam Friedland
Exactly what I expected you to be.
Richard Kind
Okay. And I am so not A keen observer. I can't tell whether somebody's gay or not. I can't tell whether they're wearing a wig or a toupee.
Adam Friedland
By the way, I'm not gay.
Richard Kind
So you say my whole life. So you say.
Adam Friedland
I've been called that my whole life. Sir.
Richard Kind
This is the truth.
Adam Friedland
Okay? Yeah.
Richard Kind
Okay. And that's what acting about is.
Adam Friedland
The truth.
Richard Kind
No, it's not.
Adam Friedland
Yes, it is.
Richard Kind
No, it's not. It's the. Adam.
Adam Friedland
Yes.
Richard Kind
I'm going to tell you what the most important thing in any scene is now. This is not me being funny. This is the truth. I'm gonna ask you right now what is the most important thing in any scene? Any scene.
Adam Friedland
Doing your goddamn job.
Richard Kind
Nope.
Adam Friedland
The objective.
Richard Kind
Nope.
Adam Friedland
Um. The camera.
Richard Kind
Nope.
Adam Friedland
Best boy.
Richard Kind
The other person.
Adam Friedland
Yes. Yes.
Richard Kind
That's what's supposed to.
Adam Friedland
I was gonna say that. I was gonna say that.
Richard Kind
What can you get? What do you want? And how can the other person give it to you? Because if you're alone, you don't need anybody else. You need something and the other person's in the scene. In an interview. No. There's no drama. You're Chameleon Churchill. You're so wrong. I'm not a chameleon.
Adam Friedland
You played Malcolm X. You played Winston Churchill.
Richard Kind
Okay, enough about me.
Adam Friedland
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Richard Kind
Warning.
Adam Friedland
Luc, I can't do it. I can't do the fast thing. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age. And every order is age verified. Warning. This product contains nicotine. And nicotine is an addictive chemical. Back to the show. So what should we do? The script.
Richard Kind
Okay, do the script. You have a whole staff here and nobody's saying anything. But I do need my glasses if I'm gonna read. There you go.
Adam Friedland
All right. Do you want to do a few?
Richard Kind
The person from Hulu is here. How am I doing? Is this okay?
Adam Friedland
I'm doing good.
Richard Kind
Am I representing at some point?
Adam Friedland
Only murders would be great.
Richard Kind
Oh, just shut up with the economics and the corporation and trying to sell, sell, sell. How about just be alive?
Adam Friedland
Just living. So we're working on this project called the Audacity of Hope.
Richard Kind
That's a nice title. I like that.
Adam Friedland
It's the Barack Obama biopic. So this is a scene from his youth. So would you like to play the role of Apua Rothstein? He's kind of the bad guy.
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
And I'll play the role of Obama.
Richard Kind
Okay. I am really reading this.
Adam Friedland
Okay.
Richard Kind
The cold. So I may ask for another take. How about now? We have a lot of pages. We got five pages.
Adam Friedland
Listen, dude, you can go as long as you want. There's a lot of seizure episodes.
Richard Kind
I will not be doing an accent.
Adam Friedland
I'm not doing an accident either. I'm doing Obama.
Richard Kind
Are you ready?
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
I didn't think you'd show. Obama.
Adam Friedland
Here I am. Apuo, you're going down.
Richard Kind
I wouldn't be too sure. Say, didn't your surfboard mysteriously disappear the other day?
Adam Friedland
Malik Obama walks up. Barack Obama puts his arm around him. Not so fast, Rothstein. He's got a board. Malik Obama hands Barack an all black surfboard.
Richard Kind
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Looks great. Where'd you get that old hunk of junk?
Adam Friedland
Obama. Malik, where did you get this? You didn't build that. Malik, this is a ceremonial surfboard passed down from our great, great grandfather, the brave chief of our Family's village. It's entirely made out of African wood. It's from his Kenyan side. It's a magic surfboard. Okay. Hey, man. Obama. Hey, man. Thanks. Okay, now it's. Let me be clear. If I win today, the youth center stays open. But if you win, you and your greedy family could tear it down and build your synagogue.
Richard Kind
How about we up the stakes, huh? If I win, I get the youth center and your little girlfriend, Michelle.
Adam Friedland
Come on, Rothstein. She's a human being. Can you play Michelle also?
Richard Kind
I can speak for myself, Barack. I'll do it. Then we have ourselves a deal. Let's see. On the water. Okay.
Adam Friedland
Okay.
Richard Kind
Oh, golly.
Adam Friedland
So now we're on the.
Richard Kind
It's a horrible scene.
Adam Friedland
Wait, so this is. No, this is a. I don't know if you've read Obama's biography.
Richard Kind
I haven't.
Adam Friedland
He was in a surf competition, a big wave surf competition to save the youth center as a kid.
Richard Kind
No kidding.
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Yeah. So now. So now we're. We're on the water. Okay. There's a 150 foot wave coming, right?
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
And you will be playing the role of George. Okay.
Richard Kind
All right, now hold on. Is it a two person scene? And whenever you do your line, do not mention who you are. Just be who you are. Oh, this is great. Okay. Okay, you ready?
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
Hey, Obama.
Adam Friedland
Oh, great. It's the angel of death. Am I dead?
Richard Kind
No, son. I'm George Washington. The first president of these great United States of America.
Adam Friedland
That's pretty good. Hulu's here. What do you think of this? Okay, so, George Washington, what are you doing here?
Richard Kind
I saw you from heaven. Looks like you'd use a little advice.
Adam Friedland
I suppose I could. George Washington, if I surf this wave, it would be the largest in recorded human history. And if I wipe out, I will surely pass away. And Apua Racine is going to fuck my girlfriend and turn the community center into some kind of Jewish church.
Richard Kind
All right, listen. You know that picture of me crossing the Delaware River?
Adam Friedland
Yeah. Why?
Richard Kind
You ever notice what I'm doing with my feet?
Adam Friedland
No. I've been too busy smoking crack cocaine with gay prostitutes and the Chum Gang. It's in the book. It's in the book.
Richard Kind
Son, I was the President of the United States. You think I don't know what it's like to smoke crack with gay prostitutes? Now, grow up. We did all that shit except for Miller Fillmore. Fucking pussy. Anyway, in the picture, I'm sitting on the front of the boat with my 10 toes hanging off it. I will call it hanging 10.
Adam Friedland
Hanging.
Richard Kind
That's right. Hanging 10. How'd you give it a try?
Adam Friedland
I can't do it, George. I just can't.
Richard Kind
Listen, Obama, sometimes. Sometimes you gotta have hope. The audacity of hope.
Adam Friedland
Pretty good. Okay, so Obama serves the big waves.
Richard Kind
We really are going.
Adam Friedland
Okay, so.
Richard Kind
Yeah, but I have all the lines.
Adam Friedland
The last scene.
Richard Kind
Okay, why don't I play Obama and you.
Adam Friedland
No, no, the last scene you're gonna be playing. Cause George comes back. The ghost of George.
Richard Kind
So.
Adam Friedland
So imagine this is kind of like an homage to Star Wars. So they're all getting the medals and stuff like that, but then the ghosts are in the back, Right? Okay, so you. So I couldn't have done this without our great grandfather's magical African surfboard. Then Malik says, what? I just bought that piece of shit at Home Depot. Obama, the real magic was inside of you this whole time. Okay.
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
And then I walk away, I see the ghost of George Washington. Hello, George.
Richard Kind
Hey, Obama. Listen, I just have one more thing to say. I lied earlier.
Adam Friedland
What?
Richard Kind
Yeah. I wasn't watching you from heaven. I was watching you from hell. And watching you do that surfing made me realize something. I'd like to apologize for slavery. I didn't want to do it. It was wrong. But I got bullied into it. All of my friends, you know. So I hope you can forgive me.
Adam Friedland
That means a lot, George. And I do forgive you.
Richard Kind
Goodbye, Obama.
Adam Friedland
As Obama says this, George Washington's soul is finally allowed to enter the kingdom of heaven. Bye, George.
Richard Kind
Bye, Obama.
Adam Friedland
And that's.
Richard Kind
This is fantastic.
Adam Friedland
And we got a lot more where that comes from.
Richard Kind
That's going to be edited out easily.
Adam Friedland
There's a hell of a lot more where that comes from.
Richard Kind
Are you continuing or is that just one scene? Will you write the whole screenplay?
Adam Friedland
I'm thinking maybe you hit up Hulu's here. Maybe we hit up the guys.
Richard Kind
We make decisions.
Adam Friedland
We hit up the guys at Casamigos and then we hit up maybe. What are you thinking? Spielberg? I mean, he did link him. I have a question. Like, I've asked other character actors this before. There's like, have you seen Paris, Texas?
Richard Kind
Ages and ages ago.
Adam Friedland
So Harry Dean Stan is this like legendary character actor. It was. It was his one starring vehicle, and it was like legendary. Like, would you. Do you aspire for your own Paris, Texas, one day? Is that. Is that something that you have in your mind or are you like, I'm a team player. I'm like, I like being on the squad.
Richard Kind
It's a really good question.
Adam Friedland
Thank you.
Richard Kind
Whenever I do a play, I always do the leading role because the economic consequences are not as great in a play, if you do a movie or a TV show, you know, people have to run to see you because you're, you know, and I can't generate that. But in a play like, you know, I do plays at Bay Street Theater out in Sag harbor, maybe they'll come see the guy who's on television, Richard Kyne. And they know me out there and they like me and there's, you know. So I'll always do a leading role. Do I ever wish for that? I've had it a few times, actually. But they're not in big movies because big movies, they can't afford to have me. Big movies cost a lot of money. Here's what I'll tell you about George Clooney. When George Clooney says yes to a movie, an industry opens. You got hotels and dry cleaners and restaurants and a lot of people working. You have big sets, a lot of people are working. Plus, when it comes out, stocks for the company that made the movie will rise and fall. So a lot of people are impacted financially. When I do the lead in a movie, it's $500,000 movie, it's $800,000 if you're lucky. And I get to do. And I don't get paid much, and I get to be the star. And nobody sees it. Nobody.
Adam Friedland
Well, we can. We can get the.
Richard Kind
Nobody. Nobody sees it. I did a movie.
Adam Friedland
What if you did a switcheroo like George Books, ocean? Oh, you show up.
Richard Kind
Adam, shut the fuck up. I'm thinking honest stuff here. This is gold I'm giving you. And in fact, I'm going out to Montauk to do a movie.
Adam Friedland
You are.
Richard Kind
From October 21st till November 25th, and I am the lead in a movie.
Adam Friedland
What's the picture? What is it?
Richard Kind
I don't. It's called Blueberry Cafe, and you'll never see it.
Adam Friedland
I will.
Richard Kind
I'm hawking it already. I don't know if it's going to be any good. I don't know where you'll get to see it. Who knows if it'll get distributed.
Adam Friedland
Hopefully on Hulu.
Richard Kind
Hulu, come on, Blueberry Cafe.
Adam Friedland
Come on, Blueberry Cafe.
Richard Kind
I'm selling this thing and it hasn't even been made. I don't.
Adam Friedland
What is wrong with you people?
Richard Kind
I don't understand Hulu anymore.
Adam Friedland
I don't.
Richard Kind
Ever since Disney, I'm not going to get into.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah. I Agree.
Richard Kind
I'm not gonna get. I happen to, like, ever since I love the good folks at Disney, they've always given me work.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
Okay.
Adam Friedland
What if it said, like on the, like, you know, billboard.
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
Hollywood Boulevard, Big billboard. Blueberry Cafe, Cafe Richard K. Full frontal nudity for the very first time.
Richard Kind
That'll keep him away.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah.
Richard Kind
Dear God, don't make me. And then how much are they paying me to go see this?
Adam Friedland
And then there's a pull quote that says, and you won't be disappointed. Okay.
Richard Kind
Are you enjoying this?
Adam Friedland
I'm having such a good time.
Richard Kind
I'm glad.
Adam Friedland
I'm having such a good time.
Richard Kind
I'm glad.
Adam Friedland
So you mentioned Pixar.
Richard Kind
You've been a. I did not mention Pixar.
Adam Friedland
I said Disney.
Richard Kind
You're right, I did mention Disney.
Adam Friedland
Thank God I got out of that one.
Richard Kind
Go ahead, go ahead. For a while when I was working with them, they weren't Disney.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
They were just Pixar.
Adam Friedland
Yeah. And then when Disney got involved, they were great. They were great.
Richard Kind
They continued to be great because their leadership is great. Yeah, they're great. The man named Pete Docter, who's a good friend of mine. That's not his name, Pete Docter, except it's D O C T E R. Oh, okay. They're now friends of mine. His wonderful wife Amanda, who I. I love Pete. And then all of a sudden, Amanda came. I love Amanda.
Adam Friedland
What does she look like?
Richard Kind
She's from Minnesota. Midwestern. Beautiful woman. Very beautiful woman. And their daughter Ellie, who is. Who Riley is based on in the Inside out, is a very dear friend of mine and she runs or helps run a place that you should go to. Have you been to the National Comedy Institute?
Adam Friedland
I practically built that, Adam. Yeah. No, I never have.
Richard Kind
Where is it always gotta be? Where is it always A little snarky little answer.
Adam Friedland
Insecure. I'm an insecure guy.
Richard Kind
I'm.
Adam Friedland
I have a lot of problems.
Richard Kind
I'm gonna help you. There is a place up in Jamestown, New York. It's the National Comedy Institute. You think that this, that I'm lying? It is like the Baseball hall of Fame. It's like the Rock and Roll hall of Fame. And this is sort of the Comedy hall of Fame. There's a lot of people, you know, who have put money into it and stuff. They now have an exhibit, a Carl Reiner exhibit that I spent two days watching old clips and readings. The best.
Adam Friedland
The best.
Richard Kind
They have all of Joan Rivers jokes.
Adam Friedland
The best.
Richard Kind
They have a George Carlin's daughter. The Best was. Was instrumental and a prior's daughter instrumental in giving stuff. The place has so many things. Do you know what they have there? Alan Brady's desk. Do you know who Alan Brady is?
Adam Friedland
Yeah, of course.
Richard Kind
Of course. I mean, they have all this stuff. It's a great place. For those of you who like this particular show, make a trek up to the Comedy Museum. You'll go in for a day. You'll want to stay three or four. It's just fantastic.
Adam Friedland
Do they have, like, a Field of Dreams? Do they have a club? Like. Like a. You know what I mean?
Richard Kind
Can I be honest?
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
They have re. They have a room based on Caroline's comedy club.
Adam Friedland
Oh, Rip.
Richard Kind
What?
Adam Friedland
It's gone.
Richard Kind
Oh, yeah. I. I thought you were talking about Caroline. Caroline's a friend. You want to know how I know Caroline?
Adam Friedland
Caroline's. All right.
Richard Kind
You want to know how I want it? You want to know how Caroline's. This is a very interesting story. Does it have an ending? Is it a joke? No.
Adam Friedland
No. Okay. You could tell any kind of story.
Richard Kind
Okay. In my early, early days, I was a singing waiter out in the Hamptons. Okay? So that. That's how I made my rent money. So I'm out in the Hamptons and in West Hampton. West Hampton and the provinces. So in West Hampton, and there was a club called Torras. And Caroline Hirsch used to come with Neil Hirsch, who was in Time magazine, as in that day, this is 40 years ago. One of the youngest millionaires. He was the top 100 millionaires in America under 30. Neil Hirsch. Caroline Hirsch was married to him. They used to come in. They used to order Dom Perignon. Whenever anybody ordered Dom Perignon, you were going to get a decent tip. He used to tip $100. He was beloved.
Adam Friedland
That was good.
Richard Kind
Okay, $100. 40 years ago as a tip.
Adam Friedland
He could have done better than that.
Richard Kind
Okay, so we were a singing waiter. Okay, I was a singing waiter. And Caroline loved us, and she loved the singing waiter.
Adam Friedland
What was your big song?
Richard Kind
There is nothing like a dame.
Adam Friedland
Let's hear a couple little bars.
Richard Kind
We got sunlight on the sand. We got moonlight on the sea. We got mangoes and bandanas you can pick right off a tree. We got volleyball and baseball and a lot of fancy games. What ain't we got? We ain't got themes. There's a lot of things in life and beautiful, but, brother, there is one. Okay, okay. Anyway. And I used to do that. And I used to do. Oh, I'm the king of the swingers. Oh, the jungle vip I reached the top and I had to stop, and that's what's bothering me. There are people who know where that's from.
Adam Friedland
I know where that's from.
Richard Kind
You know where it's from?
Adam Friedland
Where it's from. Pink Floyd. The Wall.
Richard Kind
No, it's. It's Disney. Oh, I'm the king of the swingers. Oh, Jungle vip. Yes, I reached the top and had to stop, and that's what's bothering me. So I did that. So we did these songs. You are so bored. You're looking at your notes. What are we going to talk about? Let me finish the story. It's an interesting story.
Adam Friedland
So.
Richard Kind
So they used to come in. Caroline loved the singing waiters. So what did she do on 28th Street? She opened. Or 26th Street? She opened a restaurant. Caroline's had singing waiters. Okay. And we would perform. People would perform. I didn't work there, but I would come by and we would sing Tuesday through Sunday. So what does she do on Mondays? So she says, you know what? On Mondays I have stand up. Comedians come. So on Mondays were standup comedy night. Well, Mondays became very popular.
Adam Friedland
Yeah.
Richard Kind
So Mondays became Tuesday became Wednesday, Thursday, and seven days a week, singing Weight is Gone. She had a comedy club. And that's how Caroline's got started.
Adam Friedland
Have you ever done standup?
Richard Kind
Never.
Adam Friedland
Never?
Richard Kind
No.
Adam Friedland
You be good.
Richard Kind
No.
Adam Friedland
Can I write for you?
Richard Kind
If you. If somebody wrote for me and I could really do. Do good in a heartbeat, I'd be really good. But I'm not that witty. Would I be able to handle hecklers or stuff like that?
Adam Friedland
No one's gonna heckle you. You're a beloved.
Richard Kind
You always get heckled. But I'm not that good to write for myself. But yes, I'm pretty good.
Adam Friedland
How good that Barack Obama's script was. We could do this. We could write you a five in two minutes. Yeah. Would it even take five minutes?
Richard Kind
I may need help on something because I host a lot of charity events, so I may need help. But I did write two jokes that are pretty funny.
Adam Friedland
Let's hear it.
Richard Kind
Okay. You're gonna like this.
Adam Friedland
Of course. Wait, can I intro you?
Richard Kind
Yeah.
Adam Friedland
Okay, I'm gonna say to you gotta walk on stage.
Richard Kind
No, no, no, no, no. I'm gonna tell the ladies and gentlemen.
Adam Friedland
Coming up next to the stage, you're really gonna like this. This guy is. He's new to comedy, but I think he's going straight to the top. Richard, Duh. Entertainer, everybody. Yeah.
Richard Kind
Yeah. Thank you. So my wife. My wife was raised Episcopalian. And then she married me and converted to antisemitism.
Adam Friedland
Oh, that's good.
Richard Kind
That's a pretty good joke.
Adam Friedland
That's good.
Richard Kind
I gotta tell you, I feel. I feel very bad right now. I'm not very sad. I'll start from the beginning. My grandmother once told my family that she would rather die than go into an old age home.
Adam Friedland
Okay.
Richard Kind
And today we shot her. It's okay. Joke. Yeah, it's an okay. Okay. So you see, maybe I.
Adam Friedland
You shot your grandmother.
Richard Kind
That's what I did.
Adam Friedland
I thought that was.
Richard Kind
Maybe you didn't like that joke. Reminded me, but it worked at Second City when I used to have to introduce scenes. I used to do that too.
Adam Friedland
No, I just was reminded of that old guy in the elevator with the piss and I don't want to get old.
Richard Kind
The Adam Freeland show, everybody.
Adam Friedland
You famously said you'll do anything, right?
Richard Kind
Anything.
Adam Friedland
Anything.
Richard Kind
I'll act.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, I love that too. Because, like, there's.
Richard Kind
I pretty much do anything.
Adam Friedland
There's such a. There's such like a bullshit thing. Like when you're a working actor, you're on planes all the time. You're going to set for a week. You. There are things that are longer production.
Richard Kind
For a day.
Adam Friedland
For a day.
Richard Kind
For a day.
Adam Friedland
You're all over the show.
Richard Kind
All over.
Adam Friedland
But there is like this, like, I think, bullshit that. That cuts through right, where you're like, I'll fucking do anything. I don't give a fuck.
Richard Kind
Well, I will tell you that the stuff that I won't do since I did Serious, man. I get offered every Jewish role. Every Jewish role.
Adam Friedland
Isn't that just so offensive?
Richard Kind
It's not that offensive. I don't blame them. But I won't do.
Adam Friedland
Why would they even cast.
Richard Kind
But I won't. I. If they. If the role wears its Judaism on its sleeve, like playing a rabbi or speaking Yiddish, stuff like that, I say no. If it has hints of it, like, let's say a brash producer, would you go, oh, my God, what a Jew? Or something like that? That doesn't matter. But if it wears its Judaism on its sleeve, I will turn it down.
Adam Friedland
Come on, dude.
Richard Kind
Continue, continue. Come on, dude.
Adam Friedland
Okay, so we're not gonna do that next pitch that I have for you, I was gonna.
Richard Kind
He's a Jewish surfboarder. No, it's a rabbi in Taliq story.
Adam Friedland
It's not very inspirational. It's about the first Jew who died in the Holocaust.
Richard Kind
Oh, that's funny.
Adam Friedland
Yeah, yeah.
Richard Kind
I mean, like, it's like, come on. It's One Jew.
Adam Friedland
No, he's like, in line.
Richard Kind
It's like one Jew.
Adam Friedland
He's like, in line for the truth. He's like, how long is this gonna take? And then the other Jews are like, did you just take him first? The furthest lie.
Richard Kind
The first Jew to die in the Holocaust.
Adam Friedland
The first Jew. It's not a very long movie. Kind of the Holocaust story.
Richard Kind
Oh, that's hilarious. I mean, so what's the big deal? Are they really? I mean, how dangerous could they be?
Adam Friedland
Show some gumption. Hulu back a project, actually.
Richard Kind
The first shoe to hunt the dog.
Adam Friedland
I think it's a good idea. We can stretch that out 90 minutes. 95 minutes.
Richard Kind
Oh, my God.
Adam Friedland
They call him the world's most Jewish man. Okay, actually, here's a. Have you ever read that article about the two. Oh, God, I talk about Jews too much.
Richard Kind
You do.
Adam Friedland
I talk all too much. You know, my therapist, I realized I was gonna A Jew.
Richard Kind
No good.
Adam Friedland
He said I could never stick with a therapist. He said, you bring up being Jewish all the time.
Richard Kind
And I'm like, you do?
Adam Friedland
You do, you do. He's like, yeah, and it's always in the negative.
Richard Kind
Yeah, but.
Adam Friedland
And I was like, but a Jewish therapist would have been like, of course it's terrible.
Richard Kind
No, you bring it up. You bring it up because it's funny. Because you can mine a lot of jokes from being Jewish.
Adam Friedland
I do. This is gonna be Jew, but whatever. What are you gonna do? You're sitting and watching the Protocols of the Elders of Zion show right now. Look at the two of us. You're watching the. This is the meeting. We're gonna call this episode the meeting. There were two Jews left in Afghanistan that refused to leave during the Taliban. Right? This is a true story. And they didn't want to fucking go. They were just too stubborn, and they hated each other. They despised each other. There were two left, and they fucking hated each other. And then the Taliban arrested them, and they were in jail, and the.
Richard Kind
Together.
Adam Friedland
Together. And they hated each other so much and they were so annoying that the Taliban literally let them go.
Richard Kind
Oh, God. That's.
Adam Friedland
The Taliban literally released them from, from the prison. And I'm like, that's.
Richard Kind
That's just a. I think that's a movie.
Adam Friedland
That's a movie.
Richard Kind
That's a movie. I, I, I, I can tell you that.
Adam Friedland
Not, not because you're here. Just not because you're here.
Richard Kind
That would be an interesting story because it's an interesting story about hate.
Adam Friedland
It would be an interesting story. Interesting story.
Richard Kind
And the hook being the Taliban. But this has nothing to do with what we're talking about. But Raymond Chandler and Billy Wilder had the right Double indemnity. The screenplay. And they put them in a cabin together.
Adam Friedland
They hated each other.
Richard Kind
Hated each other. Really hated each other. No, was it Raymond? Because I get them confused.
Adam Friedland
I think it might be.
Richard Kind
Was it Chandler or was it the other one? Yeah. Who wrote.
Adam Friedland
Well, it's a. It's a. It's an adaptation of a Chandler book, right?
Richard Kind
Yeah, but who the. Who wrote the Maltese Falcon? Who wrote one? One is. One is a sort of a higher class guy. Hammett. Dashiell. Hammett.
Adam Friedland
Dashiell Hammett.
Richard Kind
But I don't think it was Hammett. It was Raymond Chandler. It was Chandler. It was. Chandler and Wilder were together and they hated each other. Hated each other. But look what comes out of hate. Double Indemnity.
Adam Friedland
This episode, in fact is the greatest episode of the Adam Fury.
Richard Kind
In fact, there's three hates going on. There's two people self hated ourselves.
Adam Friedland
Yes.
Richard Kind
And then there's new hate.
Adam Friedland
Where were you like around nine months before April 1987? Did you.
Richard Kind
Oh, was that your birthday? Did I fuck your mom? I mean, maybe I fucked your mom.
Adam Friedland
This could be like my dog as a through line. This is gonna be a beautiful through line. A perfect ending for the episode. And I think this might be the. The only time I've ended an episode properly.
Richard Kind
What's your mom's name?
Adam Friedland
Joanne. It was my late mother. I'm not.
Richard Kind
And your grandmother's living.
Adam Friedland
What?
Richard Kind
Your grandmother's living. Isn't that a fucking. Fuck your grandma.
Adam Friedland
Isn't that a disgrace?
Richard Kind
I'll be in Botswana. I could fuck your grandmother. Please let me fuck your grandmother. Please.
Adam Friedland
You can be like my dog.
Richard Kind
And the way she sucks you.
Adam Friedland
Doesn't talk like a Jew.
Richard Kind
She doesn't talk like a Jew. She talks with. I could fuck that.
Adam Friedland
She's. She's, she's a. I mean she just got a hip so perfect. Apparently she was so.
Richard Kind
She won't just lie there like a locks. Apparently she'll really move because she's got it titanium.
Adam Friedland
She's got titanium hip. If anyone's got.
Richard Kind
Bring it on, sweetheart.
Adam Friedland
My grandmother, Esther. Both my grandmothers were named Esther, but this one was the one with the moves. Let me tell you.
Richard Kind
I mean, I could speak ill of the dead. I really didn't want to. Joanne, again, I will say you were enough.
Adam Friedland
Please.
Richard Kind
But I'd like to. Esther, this could be either.
Adam Friedland
Esther, this is like the well, the other one.
Richard Kind
In fact, that's the name of my autobiography.
Adam Friedland
Either Esther, the other Esther, was such a psycho that after she drove her husband to an early grave, she slept with a man's watch on the opposite bedside table to make people think she was getting laid. She was a psychopath. Anyway.
Richard Kind
What time is it?
Adam Friedland
Let's. I'll talk to you later.
Richard Kind
I gotta go.
Adam Friedland
Richard Kind, everybody. That was awesome. That was just, like, natural. You're the fan. You love that.
Richard Kind
It.
Date: October 15, 2025
Guest: Richard Kind
Host: Adam Friedland
In this lively and freewheeling episode, Adam Friedland sits down with beloved character actor Richard Kind for a conversation that swings from showbiz war stories and Second City improv insights to the realities of aging, the weirdness of being typecast, acting philosophy, and the deep bonds of friendship. With plenty of Jewish jokes, self-deprecating banter, and openhearted talk about life, death, and show business, it’s a candid exploration of what it means to live as an artist—and a mensch—in strange and changing times.
"Since I did Serious Man, I get offered every Jewish role." – Richard Kind (00:02)
"Isn't that just so offensive?" – Adam Friedland (00:05)
"It's not that offensive. I don't blame them." – Richard Kind (00:09)
"His best friend is George Clooney. And his second best friend is George Clooney's wife." – Adam Friedland (02:36)
"My joke is that under special skills on my resume, I have 'friend of George Clooney.' People. More people ask about George than they ask about me." – Richard Kind (10:43) "Just recently, I was misquoted in New Yorker magazine...it was printed incorrectly." – Richard Kind (11:22)
"...when you're 40, you're going to resent your wife and kids for having left your dream behind. So I tried it, and I actually wasn't any good, but I got away with it and I enjoyed it." – Richard Kind (13:04)
"I would watch Seinfeld growing up, and I would see George with these elevens...It's a lie. It's on TV." – Adam Friedland (15:44)
"All the grandmas stayed. All my parents. Generation of Jews left during apartheid. And then the grandmas are like, I'm not going anywhere." – Adam Friedland (17:17)
"So I want to live forever. I want to see my kids grow up...I love living. I am truly the guy who says I will sleep when I'm dead." – Richard Kind (19:12)
"One of my favorite roles of yours...you almost steal the entire movie...It's a serious man." – Adam Friedland (21:32)
"I call myself the Smuckers of acting. With a face like this, I better be good. But I wasn't good for a long time. I pulled one over, and then I got good." – Richard Kind (22:25)
"They write it together and they edit together...Joel does the directing for the actors...Ethan was a philosophy major." – Richard Kind (23:02)
“Let me tell you something about my improvisation. I'm not as good as everybody thinks. I was never as good as anybody thinks.” – Richard Kind (26:22)
“What is the most important thing in any scene?”
“The other person.” – Richard Kind (30:30)
“Exactly what I expected you to be.” – Adam Friedland (29:35)
“Listen, Obama, sometimes. Sometimes you gotta have hope. The audacity of hope.” – Richard Kind as George Washington (37:46)
“When George Clooney says yes to a movie, an industry opens...When I do the lead in a movie, it's $500,000 movie...and nobody sees it.” (40:17–41:34)
"My wife was raised Episcopalian. And then she married me and converted to antisemitism." (50:21) "My grandmother once told my family that she would rather die than go into an old age home...and today we shot her." (50:44)
"If the role wears its Judaism on its sleeve, like playing a rabbi or speaking Yiddish...I will turn it down." – Richard Kind (52:06)
On being typecast:
"Since I did Serious Man, I get offered every Jewish role." – Richard Kind (00:02)
On George Clooney and public scrutiny:
"My joke is that under special skills...I have friend of George Clooney." – Richard Kind (10:43)
On acting and opportunity:
"With a face like this, I better be good. But I wasn't good for a long time. I pulled one over, and then I got good." – Richard Kind (22:25)
On mortality:
"I want to live forever. I want to see my kids grow up. I want to see every good movie that's coming out...I love living." – Richard Kind (19:12)
On acting philosophy:
"The most important thing in any scene...the other person." – Richard Kind (30:30)
On stand-up comedy:
"My wife was raised Episcopalian. And then she married me and converted to antisemitism." – Richard Kind (50:21)
On Hollywood economics:
"When George Clooney says yes to a movie, an industry opens...When I do the lead in a movie...nobody sees it." – Richard Kind (40:17)
Fast, funny, and somewhat chaotic, the conversation cycles between absurdity, heartfelt reminiscence, and industry insight. Kind’s warmth and willingness to poke fun at himself balances Adam’s irreverent, sometimes edgy sense of humor. The two find surprising depth in their mutual outsider-turned-insider status.
This episode is a testament to the power of conversation across generational, cultural, and stylistic divides. Richard Kind brings both gravitas and comic energy, revealing an actor’s insecurity and drive, and the fine line between humor and heartache in an unpredictable world. Whether talking Coen Brothers or grandma’s new hip, Kind and Friedland offer listeners an intimate, rollicking visit with two artists at wildly different but unexpectedly similar points on the journey.