
Bill and Bryan dive deep into the universal experience of self-doubt in sales and business development. Moving beyond the typical "fake it till you make it" advice, they explore how conditional self-doubt shows up in specific areas—like shooting...
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Brian Neal
Foreign.
Bill Caskey
Welcome back to the Advanced Selling Podcast, the longest running sales training podcast, podcast history. I am one of your two hosts, Bill Caskey.
Brian Neal
I'm the other host, number two, Brian Neal here.
Bill Caskey
We have been going at this for a long time. We are going, we're coming up on 20 years. Well next year, 20 years of doing this. So 19 years this year. And lot of great, you know, just we get great comments, great compliments for we're about, I don't know how many, how many thousand LinkedIn? 15. 14.
Brian Neal
14,000. Yeah.
Bill Caskey
Connections on LinkedIn in our group. So if you're not a member of the group, go there. Actually, I just did a video this morning where I asked people in the group, what do you want to talk about today? What do you want to hear about? Got some really good feedback, so make sure you connect there. And also you can go to advanced selling podcast.com insider. It's if you'd like to learn what next month's deep dive training is. We do it once a month for a group of people. And if you want to get in on that, you can go to asp.cominsider.
Brian Neal
Please and connect with me and Bill directly. Yeah, you get to that point that you can only follow people. I accept connection. If you say you're an ASP person and I, I, I, I do my own inbox, I respond, had a listener the other day is like, hey man, thanks a lot. Oh my gosh, you know, like just me, man. There's nothing fancy here.
Bill Caskey
Don't send the generic LinkedIn.
Brian Neal
No, just say you're an ASP person.
Bill Caskey
Say SP and how it's changed your life.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
You gather your family around and listen to it.
Brian Neal
So, Bill, it's the springtime big time in Indianapolis, Indiana, where we record. We have the Indianapolis 500. Big deal. Month of May, we have the Pacers are in the the NBA Finals. Super fun. But there's another spring tradition that just happened and, and that is the Scripps National Spelling Bee just completed. And we had a last year runner up kind of comeback kid of the year, you know, and won the thing and knew his word. And the guy who reads the words is one of my favorite humans to listen to. I could listen to him. I think he's a professor somewhere over in Washington, D.C. or something. But the way he says chrysanthemum, could you use in a sentence, the chrysanthemum was blooming during the field trip? You know, stuff like that. He's got that real word of origin, but has the, has the spelling bee run its course. What are we doing? We're spelling words that we don't need to spell anymore because chat GPT and corrects everything, and they're words that we've never heard, never use, and don't know the meaning to. What is the point of the spelling bee is? My rant is. Does it still. What's the point? Could we take that knowledge and that the energy those kids have in their brains and use it for something more meaningful than spelling words that we don't know how to say, don't know what they mean and we'll never use again.
Bill Caskey
We'll never use them or we'll never spell them correct.
Brian Neal
Definitely never spell.
Bill Caskey
I mean, yeah, it's a show. It is performance art to me. And, you know, it says a lot about the students who are there. And are they six? What. What is their age? Sixth graders?
Brian Neal
I think it's fifth through seventh, I think. Or eighth. Maybe fifth through eighth, something like that.
Bill Caskey
I mean, it's remarkable, the studying. You know, there's got to be a ton of studying. I'm impressed with just.
Brian Neal
It is.
Bill Caskey
Yeah.
Brian Neal
Nothing about the kids for sure. Now I do think it's funny. Sorry. Rant too. Then I'm gonna turn over for you the topic nowadays. So, you know, they spell the word. If they're wrong, they hear a ding, ding. And they're. And you know, kids get upset. Like you said, they study real hard and feel bad for the kids. But now what they do, they have a woman that immediately starts to praise the kid verbally. When they get out, there's a woman sitting at another desk not reading the clues, and the person loses. Ding. And they'll say, bill, you did such a good job this year. You're still young, only in fifth grade, and we appreciate how hard you've worked, and I'm sure you're going to do great if you come back next year. They ding them out versus saying like, he's out. I don't know if they do it all of them, but that kind of caught me, too. I'm like, that's kind of nice. Like, we.
Bill Caskey
Once Brian gets off the stage, we can spread out a little bit more.
Brian Neal
I just pictured the same thing at the end of an NFL game. There's a woman sitting there. Like, when the. You know, the players are coming off, they just got their ass kicked. Like, you know, you guys worked really hard out there. Those were. They were a good team. That was really tough. You know, you can come back next year. Anyway, sorry my rant's over topic.
Bill Caskey
That's good. I don't know if I can pivot and make a connection here, but you know, in our businesses, Brian, we focus a lot on the, the mentality of the sales professional and the mental side, the inner, the mindset and all things inside us. And we know that almost all success is downstream from that. And if we're, if our thinking is correct, then our actions are more likely to be correct and our results will be too. And I was listening to, I had heard a couple of podcasts this week where the topic was on self doubt and confidence and self doubt and how the, the inverse, obviously the inverse of confidence is self doubt. I'm not sure of myself and I wondered at that time if that was a, if that was something that was a common thing. And the more I thought about it, the more I thought, well, self doubt in our world of sales and business development and business doesn't mean if you have a lot of self doubt, you're, you're, you know, sitting on a mountain somewhere refusing to go to work or you're holed up in your, in your, you know, closet every day eating donuts. Self doubt could be very conditional. It could be very like, I love it when I'm in front of customers, but my self doubt enters when I shoot a video or when I have to talk about money. We talked about this in our last episode with the Purdue Professor. So I'm wondering if it would be a good topic to talk about in terms of just this, this specific self doubt that we have in certain areas that does, that does hold us back and just be open about it, like I've got some. I'm sure you do too. And thought it would be a good topic.
Brian Neal
No doubt commonly referenced from research I think in the 80s as imposter syndrome is a little thing. It's ver. Another way to say that. And it's funny. I interviewed a panel of some pretty accomplished people. Angelo Pizo, who wrote who the movie Hoosiers, who's on the panel, and David Meltzer, who's a really good coach, who is my business coach, used to run a sports agency, a really big one. And then Marshall Falk, who is a Hall of Fame running back and played for the Colts and the Rams. And I asked them about this self doubt and it was amazing to hear Angelo talk about. He wrote Hoosiers and it was Oscar nominated and everything. Then he had to write his next movie and he was terrified, terrified. Heard this beautiful thing and then asked David the same thing. And he gave all these things. I asked Marshall Falk, I go, what about imposter syndrome for you, Marshall? He goes, I never feel that. I was like, okie dokie. So I think there are more people that do than don't. Yeah, more people that do than don't. Lots of people have a thing. First thing coming to mind for me is instead of the cycle of, oh, I have doubt about that, therefore I am this. Or I don't like how I look. I don't look how I look in the video. So I'm not going to shoot a video. Then I don't shoot a video. I'm like, I'm. Why am I scared to shoot a video? I'm no good because I'm scared to shoot a video.
Bill Caskey
Yeah.
Brian Neal
And it spirals down, you know, and it gets worse. Like, what am I doing? I'm gonna sit here and then no one's ever going to see my videos. Or why don't, why don't. You know? And it, it, it's really bad versus stopping that when it starts and being able to say, video is not my jam. It just isn't. And so I don't do videos. And then let it be and let it stop there as a, as a, you know, versus beating ourselves up over the fact that we have this discomfort around this thing. As an example.
Bill Caskey
Yeah. I think definitely the beating myself up about not being good at the thing that I'm supposed to be doing is a problem that the, the beating, the beating will continue until the morale improves.
Brian Neal
Right. Still, it doesn't. Yeah, totally.
Bill Caskey
But, and, but, and, and, but. And I also think, though, that if I have a. He was talking to Ed Mylett, who I respect a lot. Like sometimes his podcasts go on a little too long, but he was talking about the, the self doubt comes up when you don't believe in yourself. You know, oh, Brian, you could do that because that's you. But me, oh, I, I don't believe in myself enough to shoot a video. Just using that example. And he said, the problem a lot of times is that we have lied to ourselves for so many years and so, and for, in so many ways we've made commitments to ourselves to lose weight, to stop eating, you know, burgers or processed foods, or to work out at the gym or to make 25 calls a day. We've made so many commitments that we've reneged on that we don't even have confidence in ourselves to even say, I can do this. So the, you know what? I don't know video, but I can learn how to do that.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
I've learned a lot more difficult things than that. But if you don't have that commitment to self and you've. You've let yourself down so many times. And I thought, God, that's really. That's a good way to look at. Where does the doubt come from? Has nothing to do with the camera and you. It has more to do with the mindset around.
Brian Neal
Yes. And I love that you said. Because I believe this to be true. Most of it is. Is fictitious, unendorsed. Not real. Thought that isn't real. It's not real. You know, to take those personality profile things like enneagram is one of those. And my wife and I were on drive, so we're reading each other's Enneagrams. And one of mine said, it said you, you know, seem to others like really confident, have your stuff together and what people don't see is behind that, you don't feel confident. And I was like, that's a thousand percent. Right? And my wife was like, really? I'm like, a thousand percent. But you look.
Bill Caskey
Oh, that's right.
Brian Neal
And I never. Yeah. She's like, I can't. And I said, it's really weird. And what I've worked on through a lot of therapy is just being able to accept that. So if I go give a talk and you people come up and say, oh, great job, Bill. Great job, Brian. Guys, so good. I have to fight the urge to fight that off to go, no, no, no. My way to do it. I'm like, dude, it's just me. I just did it. When I said DM me earlier on the LinkedIn, when we opened the show, I said, I do my own LinkedIn. It's just me. That's me doing that. Like I'm no big deal. That's me doing that. That's exactly what I. That's what I do, you know, versus someone you know.
Bill Caskey
Yeah. That seems like a healthy, a grounding that.
Brian Neal
I don't know that I. I'm not.
Bill Caskey
Sure that's at odds though, with. I know what you're saying. I'm not. I'm not.
Brian Neal
Yeah, you shouldn't feel that way exactly. Right.
Bill Caskey
A good therapist move. You shouldn't feel that way.
Brian Neal
It's a. I just know it to be true. I know it in myself to be true. And I know that my perception is different than others perception and I have to let that be.
Bill Caskey
That's right.
Brian Neal
Versus fight. Fight it.
Bill Caskey
I agree. And that's one Thing you said that I, I like that idea of embrace it.
Brian Neal
Yes.
Bill Caskey
I'm not good at video. Well, embrace it. Embrace it doesn't mean run from it. Embrace it means. Well, I'm not very good at video. I guess I need to figure it out or I guess I never need to figure it out. But only through embracing it can we become clear, think clear headed about it and say, you know, like we, we've been running Facebook ads to know. Terrible. We've just been terrible at it.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
And we just get focused. We keep doing it and doing it and doing it. And finally we had an ad hit.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
And. And had we not had that or had we not had the perseverance and resilience to just keep going back, keep going back, keep spending some money, that ad would never have been, it would never come to fruition. And so it's easy to say, oh, I don't do, I don't do Facebook ads because, you know, nobody's on Facebook. Or we say, you know what we, we at Facebook ads. We got to figure it out.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
It's embrace that discomfort. Embrace the, the, embrace the mediocrity so that you can get better.
Brian Neal
Yes.
Bill Caskey
And that's a terrible example to Facebook. But, but it's all part of this. Are you going to give up or are you going to burrow through it?
Brian Neal
That's right. Yeah. And. And is, is it could be that the Facebook thing is less about giving up, just making a choice to not do it anymore. That. You know what I mean? And that, and that's just. Yeah, I just don't do that anymore. I tried that and it didn't work. And there's another part of this which is did I enjoy whatever the thing was?
Bill Caskey
Yeah.
Brian Neal
You know what I mean? That's another part of it too. I think. It's like I, you know, I, I'm pretty good at this thing, but I hate doing it. Like, I, I hate doing personal video. I'm just making this up. But if I hate doing personal videos, why would I keep trying to do them? Because I know it's not fun even if I'm good at them. I love the, I love that context of embracing it, almost doing the opposite. So an example would be like, I suck at videos. So your, your video series becomes videos from a guy who sucks at doing videos. And it would be phenomenal. It would be, here's another video from a guy who hates doing videos and.
Bill Caskey
He starts off, everyone got it.
Brian Neal
Hey. Yep. I, I'm Brian and I hate doing videos. So this is my 1900th, 21st episode of I hate doing videos. I'm doing a video.
Bill Caskey
You're probably thinking, I'm starting to like it.
Brian Neal
I'm not. I'm still hate it. Right. And I still pretty much suck at it. But thanks for watching my videos. That thing would blow up.
Bill Caskey
Absolutely. It would blow. Absolutely. But that's a matter of, of embracing it and doing something. Yes.
Brian Neal
That. Yes.
Bill Caskey
The suckiness or whatever. Which role. I heard him the other day on a podcast and you know who do you know? Rich Roll?
Brian Neal
No.
Bill Caskey
Oh, he's a. Like I should Health and fitness ultimate marathon Guy has a 12 years podcast. You got a really good following.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
But he was talking about embracing that and then going and doing something with it. Like you just said, leveraging the, the, the mediocrity and saying, I'm not good at this. So I'm going to be not good at this for the world.
Brian Neal
Yes.
Bill Caskey
Until you get good at it. And then you don't ever have to say, okay, now I'm good at it. You can just, you can leverage that. And I don't think we think about that.
Brian Neal
No. I just saw a tick tock guy that said he's gonna do. He's giving himself. It was a short time window, maybe three months. He never ever played golf. One time he said, this is my video series. Someone who's never played golf one time to 90 days become a scratch handicap golfer. Wow. And he's just gonna do it and try it. I mean, so interesting to think about that. Like say. Because I'm like, that's me with golf. Like I don't enjoy it. I'm not very good at it. So I don't play.
Bill Caskey
You ever find your clubs? The time after.
Brian Neal
That'S a callback. Oh my gosh. Bill and I played. Neither of us really play golf time. The two we have, we played together and I lost some really nice clubs after one of the events. I don't know where they were.
Bill Caskey
Still dumb of lake somewhere.
Brian Neal
I was all gear, no game. All gear, no game.
Bill Caskey
That was a, that was a day. I think I realized that 13 holes is about right.
Brian Neal
Yeah. I'm seven. Seven. I'm like, oh, you're not even going.
Bill Caskey
Yeah.
Brian Neal
So I think that's a good, a good reframing of letting these things be and then can I turn them into something.
Bill Caskey
Yeah.
Brian Neal
And own them up front. And then that the thing that's the negative becomes actually the thing that's the most positive about it.
Bill Caskey
That's right.
Brian Neal
Of the Self doubt. I just saw it. Go ahead.
Bill Caskey
Well, I was gonna say, when you think about all the, the rehab and self addiction program, step one is always admit that we have a problem.
Brian Neal
Yep.
Bill Caskey
And I think that's o. That's okay here too, is to admit to yourself you don't have to tell the world, but I gotta, I gotta, I got some doubt around this place thing here. And if maybe have five or six areas, it's like, who cares? We all have doubt. And by admitting it to yourself now you're on the road. We're on the road to, to correcting it, Fixing it, navigating around it.
Brian Neal
Yes. And there's no book. There's no book. Everyone thinks there's some book. I can guarantee at some point. Jeff Bezos is walking around with his girlfriend or fiance now and he's like, I had no idea what I was doing.
Bill Caskey
None.
Brian Neal
I just did it. You know what I mean? And, and it's a thing. I just saw a cool, cool little article on British Airways is selling tickets and they said they've sold like tens of millions of dollars of tickets for people to take a 40 minute flight around England. And I'm like, what the hell is this? Like, who would just take a flight? Be like, if you took off in Indianapolis and flew around for a half hour and landed in Indianapolis. It's for people who are afraid of flying and they're selling these things out and they put them through a course, they go into some training, they go through two or three days of classroom, they meet the pilots, they go walk around the airplane, they understand flying and then it culminates at the end with them taking their first flight because they're afraid of it. Isn't that interesting?
Bill Caskey
Wow.
Brian Neal
What a great idea for British Airways. Great idea. And a great thing for people to move through their fear. This thing that they're, you know, and I bet you I don't know for sure, I don't have that fear of flying. There's shame in the fear of flying. Oh, when people say, where are you going? Well, we're going up to, you know, we're going from Indianapolis, you know, down to Key West. Like, oh, what time's your flight? We're not flying. I'm afraid to fly. And you know, people do, you're afraid to fly. You're gonna drive to Key West. You know how you have to fly there? Seriously, there's more odds of you killed. A plane crash, that makes the person feel great. They just said they're afraid of flying.
Bill Caskey
Yeah, we think it's intellectual.
Brian Neal
Understand? Oh you're just dumb. You're just stupid. Yeah, totally. Makes no sense. Funny, isn't it? It's what we do though. And then they're shaming it and then they're not going to tell anyone and they're not going to fly anywhere and they're going to sit there and wallow and as I get. And they're like oh my gosh, this is a bad thing for me.
Bill Caskey
Yeah. And are going to drive to Shelbyville. Okay, so let's come up with, with a thing. With a thing to do. My thing would be just to identify those areas in your, let's just say your business life where there's a little self doubt. I'm just, I'm just don't, I'm not comfortable. I'm not confident in these areas. You don't have to talk about it in terms of self doubt, just talk about in terms of lack of confidence or you're not quite as confident as you'd like to be in a certain area and just dissect it a little bit. Just stay with it, meditate on it, ruminate on. Don't obsess with it.
Brian Neal
Yeah.
Bill Caskey
But admit it, I think that's step.
Brian Neal
One, I love it. And I'll go then not to step two recovery wise but step two from that then I would decide if I want to turn that into an actionable thing just to put myself out there with it. So if I'm afraid of flying, I'm going to sign up for a flight lesson. If I'm afraid of this or I've self doubt in writing, I'm going to start writing. Just start writing with no, no worry about if it's good or bad. I'm just going to start doing the activity versus the judgment of the activity. That's what I'm trying to get to do the activity, not the judgment of the activity.
Bill Caskey
Yeah. And I think you're right about the. Do I enjoy it? I mean at some point I think, I think we can learn to enjoy a lot that we think we won't like. Writing is a good example. I used to hate writing. Used to hate English class. Comp class. I like it now. Yes, well that's because I've done it enough that I've gotten to the point where I, I feel inspiration from my own writing. Not what I write but the act of writing. And so I think we can learn to, to like some of that stuff that maybe now we, we just don't. And yes, if we learn to like something that by doing it, helps us grow our business. That's a good thing.
Brian Neal
My wife told me that when we. Long time ago.
Bill Caskey
We.
Brian Neal
She said she used her name in third person. She said, stephanie Summers does not run. We're talking about running. Never. She ran a mile for cheerleading. High school mandatory and hated every minute of it. She's run four or five half marathons now. Loves it.
Bill Caskey
Yeah, Loves it. Does she still talk about herself in third person?
Brian Neal
She'd all constantly does run. Oh, Stephanie is going to go have her walk now. Stephanie's gonna go have her coffee. That's a coffee.
Bill Caskey
You're not invited.
Brian Neal
I run. I'm not for sure.
Bill Caskey
All right.
Brian Neal
All right.
Bill Caskey
Good job. Next time.
Brian Neal
Bye. Bye.
Episode: Turning Your Insecurities into Competitive Advantages
Hosts: Bill Caskey and Bryan Neale
Release Date: June 16, 2025
In this episode of The Advanced Selling Podcast, hosts Bill Caskey and Bryan Neale delve into the nuanced topic of turning personal insecurities into competitive advantages within the realm of sales and business development. The conversation seamlessly transitions from a light-hearted discussion about the Scripps National Spelling Bee to a deep exploration of self-doubt, confidence, and personal growth.
The episode begins with a casual conversation about recent events in Indianapolis, highlighting the Scripps National Spelling Bee. Bryan expresses skepticism about the relevance of the competition in today's technologically advanced world.
Bill and Bryan acknowledge the impressive dedication of the young participants but question the practical value of the skills being showcased.
Bryan further critiques the competition, pondering whether the time and energy could be better utilized for more meaningful endeavors.
Bill segues the conversation from the spelling bee to the core topic of self-doubt and confidence, pivotal elements in sales success.
He introduces the idea that self-doubt doesn't necessarily equate to inaction but can manifest in specific areas, such as fear of public speaking or discussing financial matters.
Bryan expands on the concept of self-doubt by referencing imposter syndrome, sharing insights from his interviews with accomplished individuals.
He contrasts the experiences of different panelists, noting that while some like Marshall Falk don't feel imposter syndrome, many others do.
Bryan shares his personal struggles with self-doubt, particularly regarding public appearances and content creation.
Bill introduces the transformative approach of acknowledging and embracing insecurities to convert them into strengths.
Bryan agrees, emphasizing the importance of accepting one’s perceived weaknesses without judgment.
They discuss the necessity of differentiating between self-perception and how others perceive us, advocating for self-acceptance.
The hosts outline actionable strategies to transform self-doubt into competitive advantages:
Admit Your Insecurities:
Turn Insecurities into Actionable Steps:
Embrace Mediocrity to Improve:
Leverage Your Weaknesses Creatively:
Commit to Continuous Improvement:
They use relatable examples, such as overcoming a fear of flying or developing skills in areas previously deemed uncomfortable, to illustrate these steps.
Bryan shares a TikTok example where an individual documents their journey from never having played golf to achieving a scratch handicap in 90 days, highlighting the power of embracing and publicly committing to overcoming a weakness.
Bill adds a comparative anecdote about their own limited interest and skill in golf, reinforcing the idea that ownership and transparency about one’s shortcomings can lead to unexpected positive outcomes.
The episode wraps up with a reaffirmation of the importance of acknowledging and embracing personal insecurities as a pathway to growth and competitive advantage in sales and beyond. Bill and Bryan encourage listeners to identify their areas of self-doubt, accept them without judgment, and take proactive steps to transform these challenges into strengths.
Bill Caskey (19:08): “Admit it, I think that’s step one.”
Bryan Neal (19:45): “I’m just going to start doing the activity versus the judgment of the activity.”
The hosts leave listeners with a motivational message to harness their insecurities, thereby enhancing their personal and professional lives.
Bryan Neal (02:00): “We’re spelling words that we don’t need to spell anymore because ChatGPT corrects everything.”
Bill Caskey (04:28): “If our thinking is correct, then our actions are more likely to be correct and our results will be too.”
Bryan Neal (06:08): “Impster syndrome is another way to say that. And it’s funny...”
Bryan Neal (07:38): “I’m scared to shoot a video. I’m no good because I’m scared to shoot a video.”
Bill Caskey (12:17): “Embrace the mediocrity so that you can get better.”
Bryan Neal (15:01): “He’s giving himself... never ever played golf...”
Bill Caskey (19:08): “Admit it, I think that’s step one.”
This episode offers valuable insights for sales professionals and individuals alike, emphasizing that personal growth often begins with recognizing and embracing one’s insecurities. By transforming these vulnerabilities into strengths, listeners can achieve greater success and fulfillment in their careers.