Authentic Influence and the Business of Speaking: Marianne Hickman on Connection, Courage, and Building a Powerful Voice

Summary

The Amazing Authorities Podcast

Episode: Authentic Influence and the Business of Speaking: Marianne Hickman on Connection, Courage, and Building a Powerful Voice
Host: Mitch Carson
Guest: Marianne Hickman
Date: April 9, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this engaging episode, host Mitch Carson sits down with Marianne Hickman—speaker, coach, multiple mother (of six!), and authority on authentic influence in the speaking industry. They unpack Marianne’s unique journey from her early days in a family of ten kids to building a career helping others find and amplify their voices. The episode dives into the realities behind becoming an effective, impactful speaker, balancing personal authenticity with business savvy, overcoming stage fright, and the critical importance of connection and vulnerability on stage.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Human Journey Behind Speaking Success

• Family Background & Early Experiences
  • Marianne grew up in a large family, which she credits for her instincts in understanding personalities.

    “By default, you’ve put in the hard yards of dealing with personalities and knowing what makes people tick.” — Mitch [01:21]

  • Her mother had 10 children, providing an even deeper perspective on human interaction.
• Early Stage Exposure
  • First stage experience was at age three in church—important for building communication confidence, regardless of career path.

    “If you can communicate, that’s the basis of everything.” — Marianne [03:16]

2. The Spark: Discovering the Power of Keynotes

• Marianne’s speaking journey began accidentally through a school competition, leading her to realize that real connection—not just performance—was missing in many keynotes.

  “I remember not what she said, but how I felt at the end of her keynote… I thought, that is what’s missing… the true inspiration.” — Marianne [04:10]

• Witnessing Kirk Duncan sell $90,000 in DVDs at an event opened her eyes to the business side of speaking, but also highlighted the difference between influence and manipulation:

  “I don’t use [false urgency] as a tactic because I don’t like being dishonest. It violates laws of integrity for me.” — Marianne [07:33] “The transformation comes from… not even selling, but influence.” — Marianne [09:35]

3. Breaking In: From Failure to Momentum

• Marianne describes her first solo event: absolutely no one showed up.

  “My first event… nobody came. Zero people showed up.” — Marianne [15:08]

• She delivered her keynote anyway, embracing the discipline of reps: hosting events every two weeks, even if the audience was just sleeping guests or eventually 20 library attendees.

  “If you want to speak more, you have to speak more.” — Marianne quoting a friend [19:44] “I was not inspired enough by my own life to tell my own story.” — Marianne [17:16]

• Getting “the reps” leads to organic improvement and opportunity, including a five-year stint as a regular keynote at a popular event series.

4. Mastery: Science, Self-Correction, and Courage

• Mitch and Marianne discuss the science behind speaking: testing hypotheses, iterating, and self-correcting (e.g., reviewing your own videos).

  “There’s no better coach than yourself when you see and you’ll self-correct.” — Mitch [19:21]

• The “10,000 hour rule” (via Malcolm Gladwell’s Outliers) surfaces as critical for genuine mastery.

  “You can’t flub becoming an excellent speaker. You can’t flub becoming a mentor. You have to put in the yards.” — Mitch [25:08]

5. Courage and Impact: Influence Beyond Revenue

• Sharing touching stories about real-life impact—including a moving account of an audience member whose life was saved by a simple act of public affirmation:

  “You changed my son’s life that day… Later that day he had death certificate plans… He is still here because you saw something in him.” — Marianne [24:22]

• Visual reminders like her “thank you wall” help Marianne stay centered on purpose during tough times.

6. Managing Stage Fright & The Power of Emotional State

• Even after years of experience, Marianne still feels adrenaline—but reframes it as energy to be directed to the audience, not as fear.

  “Stage fright only happens when you’re thinking about yourself. Let that go—it’s not about us anymore.” — Marianne [31:44] “You’re going to direct the energy instead of trying to contain it.” — Marianne [29:25]

• Practical tip: Use playful, unexpected tactics to settle a noisy room (e.g., threatening the last person standing with a “Macarena” performance) [31:42].

7. Humor, Authenticity, and Learning to “State Change”

• Both Marianne and Mitch emphasize the tactical use of humor—sometimes nervous or overdone early on, but refined over time.

  “The state change changes the state of emotion we are in… Every good keynote has a state change about every 90 seconds.” — Marianne [34:12]

• Authentic moments—like awkward jokes about “phone sex” and iPhones connecting—build rapport and make experiences memorable [34:44].

8. In-Person vs. Virtual Speaking

• Marianne finds in-person much easier due to the live feedback loop; webinars without visible audiences are “the hardest room” for her.

  “So much of speaking is listening to your audience, watching their body language.” — Marianne [40:17]

• Practical advice: On webinars, force feedback through chats, polls, or “drop your city” prompts to replicate the feedback loop.

9. The Mission: Empowering Others

• Marianne’s free resource: a personal, hand-curated database of over 1,000 podcasts looking for guests. She heavily encourages new speakers and meaningful voices to “pick up the mic.”

  “I want more people to pick up the microphone… The messages I would put in front of my children deserve more air time.” — Marianne [41:30]

10. The Value of Debate and Curiosity

• On Marianne’s own show (“The Marianne Hickman Show”), she welcomes diverse guests, including those she disagrees with—emphasizing civil debate as crucial for societal progress.

  “If we don’t agree, we need to be able to talk about it.” — Marianne [45:00]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Doing the Hard Work:

  • “If you want to speak more, you have to speak more.” — Marianne [19:44]
  • “You can’t flub becoming an excellent speaker. You have to put in the yards.” — Mitch [25:08]

• On Influence vs. Manipulation:

  • “Transformation comes from… not even selling, but influence.” — Marianne [09:45]
  • “I don’t use that as a tactic because I don’t like being dishonest. It just violates laws of integrity.” — Marianne [07:33]

• On Overcoming Stage Fright:

  • “Stage fright only happens when you’re thinking about yourself. Let that go.” — Marianne [31:44]

• On Deep Impact:

  • “You saw something in him that he wasn’t willing or couldn’t see himself... He is still here because of that moment.” — Marianne [24:22]

• On the Role of Humor and Authenticity:

  • “In the beginning, I leveraged a lot of humor because of my nervousness… And then I did this weird bell curve where I got really serious… I literally got on Amazon and Googled how to be funny again.” — Marianne [35:55]

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Important Timestamps

• [03:03] Marianne’s first encounter with competitive speaking and the realization about emotional connection.
• [05:24] Witnessing Kirk Duncan’s $90,000 back-of-room sale.
• [07:33] Discussing integrity in sales tactics.
• [15:08] The story of zero attendance at Marianne’s first event.
• [17:16] Developing her own story and the critical leap from imitation to authenticity.
• [24:22] The powerful story of an audience member whose life was saved.
• [29:25] Handling stage fright by channeling, not suppressing, energy.
• [31:42] Using humor and playful threats (“Macarena”) to facilitate state change.
• [34:12] The science and purpose of “state changes” in public speaking.
• [40:17] The feedback loop: why in-person is so much easier than webinars.
• [41:30] Marianne’s mission and free podcast guesting resource.
• [45:00] The importance of civil debate and curiosity on her own podcast.

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Marianne Hickman’s Resources

• Free Podcast Database: mariannehickman.com/freegift — Database of over 1,000 podcasts open to guest pitches (no pay-to-play, according to Marianne).
• Show: The Marianne Hickman Show — Covers a wide range of curiosity-driven topics, from TEDx behind the scenes to astrology and graphic design.
• Instagram/Contact: mariannehickman.com

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Thematic Summary

This episode is a masterclass in the truth and humanity behind building “authority” as a speaker or coach. Mitch and Marianne reveal that becoming a recognized, influential speaker is not just about charisma or sales, but about deep connection, fearless vulnerability, relentless practice (“reps”), and staying true to one’s story and mission—even when nobody’s listening (yet).

Whether you’re an aspiring speaker, established coach, or leader looking to boost your influence authentically, you’ll find practical strategies, genuine encouragement, and memorable wisdom in this candid and upbeat conversation.

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For more, subscribe and access bonus resources at MitchCarson.com and mariannehickman.com.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Amazing Authorities podcast, where game changers, visionaries and category leaders share how they built their brands, platforms, and global influence. Your host is Mitch Carson, international speaker, media strategist, and creator of the Instant Authority system. If you're ready to learn from those who've done it and want to become the go to expert in your space, you're in the right place. Marianne Hickman is here and she is a multiple mother. A multiple mother, meaning she has multiple kids. And she has explored that journey. So this lady has lived and she helps you get your voice out there, your thoughts heard and acted on. Welcome to the Amazing Authorities podcast. Marianne Hickman.

[B]

Mitch, it's an honor to hang out. It's an honor to be here. Thank you.

[A]

And we started out. Tell us how many kids you have.

[B]

Six. Six. It always causes a reaction. Six.

[A]

Well, we had a little pre chat before the chat we're having now. Six kids. I would say that makes you an expert in human nature, I think.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Just by the default, you've put in the hard yards of dealing with personalities and knowing what makes people tick. And would you say that that has helped you become a professional speaker and a. And a person who now coaches and trains people to be speakers?

[B]

Well, I mean, all experience helps, even if it's learning what not to do. I'll say that much. You know, and I do have to give. If we're talking about sainthood, that is deserved. I'm going to name my mother because she had 10 of us and that. Right.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

There's. There's experience in working with. And I don't want to say dealing with people because we're all people, but understanding personalities, understanding what makes people operate, what makes people tick. But honestly, most of it was too close for me to study, if that makes sense. I had to look outside my bubble to really learn what was going on inside of it.

[A]

Yes, but having exp. There's nothing like putting in the hard yards. You mentioned. In order to get big biceps, you got to put in the reps. That's right. In order to become a good speaker, you've got to put in the reps. And the reps are more and more stages. And you will self correct over time. The first time I spoke, I shook and I was in the bathroom vomiting. Oh, be perfectly. I was so nervous the first time. Second time, same thing. Third time, I was better. Fourth time, okay, I've been waiting for this. And then, you know, all start. But you have to go through that. Some people do. Some people could Stand up and just talk. It was not an easy path for me. What was your story? How did you get into this?

[B]

Well, it's okay. So that's why I have this award behind me because this is the official part, beginning part of my journey. I had. Well, let me just preamble it. When I was three, my church put me on stage and I have to give a nod to that because putting a child in front of a room of their peers on stage is one of the best things you can do. Because it doesn't matter if you become a public speaker or influencer or a coach, if you can communicate, that's the basis of everything. So I have to give a nod to that. But this award came from a speaking competition that I have to thank my seventh grade teacher, Mrs. Wilson for putting me in. I didn't know that speaking competitions could be a thing because I grew up in a house of 10 kids and anytime the competitive speaking was mentioned, it was an argument. That's what I thought it was.

[A]

Mass, mass debate, huh?

[B]

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. So I go with Mrs. Wilson. She puts me in front of the Optimist Club International which is still operating and she has me speak. I wrote a little three page keynote and I won and I was so excited. And then I went to the regionals and I won first place in there and I was so excited. And then I went to State, State and I lost. And I was even more excited because of the woman, the young girl who was 12 years old who beat me. She inspired me. I remember not what she said, but how I felt at the end of her keynote. And I thought that is what's missing. That is what's missing from my keynote. That's what's missing from any keynote that I haven't been inspired by. That's what's missing from any talk that I have ever listened to. That just fell flat is the true connection, that the true inspiration. And so that's when I thought, okay, this could be a thing. And then I promptly forgot about it because I had no example. Tony Robbins was Anthony Robbins back then. He didn't have the big stages that he has now. So I really didn't have anyone in front of me. There was no social media, there was no. The Internet was just brand new. So people weren't really doing this, at least in a 12 year old person's perception. I forgot about it until I was in my mid-20s and I then I went to a seminar that I was invited to by a family member and I thought there it is. Again, there's a speaker in front of the room, moving the energy of the room, not in a manipulative way, but in an invitational way. And then I watched as the speaker got up and he did his call to action. At the back of the room, there's a DVD set. This is dating us, right? There's a dvd.

[A]

Who was the speaker?

[B]

Do you remember Kirk Duncan?

[A]

Don't know.

[B]

Okay, he. He's incredible guy. He lives right here in Utah. Kirk Duncan. He got 300 people to stand up out of their seats, walk to the back of the room and swipe their credit card for a $300 purchase.

[A]

Wow. Okay.

[B]

Was it.

[A]

What was the product? Was it real estate or.

[B]

Big stack of DVDs and a big stack of CDs. All of them had their own individual topics of, you know, a morning power hour, how to be a better speaker, relationships, marriage, all of these personal development topics. Anything you can imagine, like, buy the whole set for 300 bucks. And I did the math real quick in my head, remembering that there was a food stamps card in my wallet. And I thought, okay, 300 people times $300 is a lot more than I've ever seen in one place at one time, right? And that's when I really thought, okay, there might be something to this.

[A]

Oh, there is. And I. I know that feeling. And I did the math as most people do when they see the herd running to the back of the room. And it was $300. It was a $300 sale of all of that. That was some time ago. Not to date you, but that was my observation when I attended a seminar with the Zig Ziglar and Dan Kennedy had a program for 300 bucks back then called magnetic marketing. And this was in the mid-90s. And I saw that movement and I thought, wow, I'd done some speaking, but that was selling. And there was a herd of people were elbowing. I remember this almost 80 year old man that pushed in front of me and dropped his elbow into my ribs to get there. Because Dan was saying from the front of the room, there are limited supply. They're almost out. You better hurry. You better hurry, because we're almost out. Look at my staff. They're only. There are only five left. And it's all bs. They were all under the table. But. But it created that. That herd frenzy. And did you observe that? Was there something like that feeling of, like your fo FOMO fear of missing out?

[B]

Yeah, well, there was absolutely the. The urgency that was built into the pitch Now, I have to say that I don't buy into the BS urgency.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

I don't use that as a tactic because I don't like being dishonest. It just violates laws of integrity for me. If I already. If I only printed 100 DVDs. Printed. If I only burned 100 DVDs and there's literally only 100 in the back of the room, then yeah, there's only 100. Right.

[A]

You were in integrity with that. Yes.

[B]

Well. And when I speak, I am right. That's really important to me. I just don't like gimmicks. We can all see through them now anyway, so it. That's really important for me. But that when I saw that $90,000 happen in a three minute pitch, of course you and I know that that $90,000 wasn't in three minutes. It's in all the years of preparation and in all the marketing and in

[A]

all of this, all the failures to get there.

[B]

Oh, talk about failures. All the follow. I have been on stage doing a pitch where I lost a half a million in unrealized revenue because I botched it. I got selfish and started telling more about my story, more than than that, about the audience's transformation. I just dropped the ball. And gosh, but I thought, you know, this. Colleges are going to be obsolete pretty soon if this keeps going on. Because there is real room for real impact and real transformation here. There are going to be, you know, I think about the people that drive down the street and, you know, I'm from Utah, so we have the worst drivers in the world. You stack us up against New Jersey, we'll beat them in crappy driving. Every time I think about my kids driving on the street and the people that I, for whatever reason, drive with crossbows in the back of their car, planning their next road rage maneuver. And I think about that, and I think about, you know, if that person heard Mitch speak, or if that person maybe had a chance to hear Kirk speak, or if that person had a chance to maybe hear one of my students speak, maybe, maybe, just maybe, they would be nicer on the road. Maybe they wouldn't be throwing food into the drive throughs. Maybe we would have fewer terrible news stories if the people that needed us most had access to us. And so, yeah, it comes from holding conventions, doing podcasts, speaking from the front of the room, but really the transformation comes from not manipulation, not even selling, but influence.

[A]

Influence. All right, so when did you decide? When you saw as a little girl, you. You realized that you Had a knack for this. And for the keynote side. When was it because of what you saw this man do with the 300 people say I can do that? Or did you say I want to learn how to do that?

[B]

Yeah, well, so I was really scared to do that. So when I did the the was at the event with the 300 people. I couldn't afford the thing at the back of the room, but I could afford the downsell, which was the next event, which was great. And this next event was a $97 ticket. And we all met in a really tiny hotel room. There was probably 20 of us, a little conference room there. And I remember sitting there because this event was really focused on speakers. This event was all about, gosh, if I can remember the name, it was like speaker confidence or something like that. And I remember sitting there in the room, I was pregnant with my son. And I don't know if you've ever felt this feeling of if there was like a Dragon Ball Z energy bomb kick to the chest where you just feel like, oh my gosh, I think I'm supposed to do that. And the immediate response of your brain is I'm way under qualified to do that. But I still feel called to it. There's this dichotomy of the push and the pull of. I don't feel like I know how to do that, but I want to really badly. And the next morning, within this seminar, we were supposed to create this rock star moment. That's what Kirk called it, the rock star moment. We're supposed to pick a song and we're supposed to do a stage walk up practicing owning the stage. And one of the things that Kirk said that has always stuck with me is in the rockstar moment on stage, the rock star is not the speaker. It's not about us. We're already on the stage, the lights are already on us. We're already elevated with the little platforms and so forth. When you can make the audience feel like they are the rock stars of the event, that's. That's when you've got something. And so the next morning I did my walk up song. I don't even remember what it was, but I remember being hugely pregnant and I remember the song playing. And I handed, I had the microphone in my hand and I pointed it toward the audience and they erupted. They erupted dancing and singing and throwing their hands up. And that was the moment for me that said, okay, let's do this. Because of what it felt like to rise the tide of all of the Ships in the room. That was the moment for me of, wow, okay, look at this impact. Look how many people are smiling. And not to selfishly say anything about my ego, but maybe I had a hand in that. Maybe I'm supposed to do more of this. Because if we can affect so many people at once, we're collapsing time. And then, gosh, I think of it like a candle. A candle doesn't diminish in light because it's shared. When you share one candle with another, the flame only gets bigger, the flame only grows. And so we're literally creating a renewable energy that then they will take home to their families, to their workplaces, to the people that they're around. And I know this sounds really fluffy and I know it sounds really altruistic, but I also know what it's like not to have this. I also know what it's like to visit a family member in prison when they don't have this. I know what it's like to see people who. I was just this Valentine's Day visiting an old folks home. We were doing some service work and handing out flowers to the, the residents there. And I looked at the woman in her bed and I thought, when's the last time she got out of bed? When's the last time that she smiled? And I don't think that we give enough credit to bringing life and energy and hope to humanity. And right now we need it now more than ever.

[A]

I love that what you're referring to is if we're going back where you said you saw all the audience experience with you is an emotional high. And emotions is what will move people to take action, and emotions will also turn that into dollars. Because this is a business. If you're looking at business versus a hobby, if you want to go to Toastmasters, that's fine. Toastmasters is great, you know, and I've taught many of them to speak professionally after they, you know, get past the seven minute deal. But to turn to where you had this emotional catalyst, it sounds like that was your tipping point. And then, and then to back in all the science of it, talk about the science. So first started with this emotion and then you realized, okay, I want to do this and I need to do this because of the reaction from the crowd. And then you realize, okay, I'm supposed to do this. Maybe it was God inspired. Maybe it could have been a spiritual awakening. Whatever it was, let's categorize it as a pivot point. What did you do mechanically to get to where you are today? To Then make you a teacher of it.

[B]

Yeah, well, I like the science of it, because science, you can bring hypotheses to the table and you can test it and prove your own result. And that's what I want. If you're listening to this, that's what I want you to do, is test it out. Go forward with their hypothesis and test it out and see what the result is. Don't take my word for it. So from there, it was a lot of falling on my face. My first event, I didn't bar from the toilet, but nobody came.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

Zero people showed up, and Kirk challenged us. And I would issue the same challenge to anyone who's listening who feels that same kick in the chest. Host an event every two weeks. Every two week, host an event. And right now you have the benefit of doing webinars.

[A]

Okay, so online is. So it could be a digital event, not necessarily. An in person.

[B]

In person will push you harder.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

So if you want compressed growth, do it in person. If you want to take the semi easy way to a webinar, you have to have technical prowess with that as well. But my first event, I was like, okay, sure, I. I will host my own event. I invited people out of my house, empty room. Not even my husband was there. It was completely empty.

[A]

Oh, that's devastating. I know the feeling.

[B]

You, you know, and you're faced with this decision, do. What do I do? It's 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes past start time. Nobody's here. And then I had this inner ch. Turmoil in my brain of, I. I mean, why would I give my keynote? Nobody's listening. But at that point, I was thinking, oh, if I don't deliver my keynote, then it's my fault that it didn't get spoken. If I don't deliver my keynote, then I don't have this stage. And if I don't deliver my keynote now, I can't mess up and get away with it. So I delivered my keynote.

[A]

The show must go on.

[B]

It must go on. And nobody was listening. I didn't even record it, but I delivered it anyway. And you know, all the flubs and ums and whatever, they count at Toastmasters, nobody knew because nobody was there. So I could mess up as much as I wanted the next time because I was. Every two weeks, three people came. So exponential growth, right? They all fell asleep. Every single one out like a light, sleeping on my living room couch, head back, snoring, the works. And I delivered my keynote anyway. My keynote was not good. It was terrible. Mostly other people's stories instead of my own. Mostly, I was regurgitating stories from other impressive keynotes that I had heard. My next event, I went to a library, held it there. 20 people came, way better than the three. But I was still really bad at it. I was still regurgitating stories that I had heard from other people's seminars. And I was kind of pulling it together because I wasn't listen to this. Inspired by my own life yet I was not inspired enough by my own life to tell my own story.

[A]

Well, you also hadn't put in the reps yet.

[B]

Exactly, exactly. I didn't know what stories would land. I didn't know what stories would catch. So I just told what I thought worked because it worked on me. And then it started into my own story development where I'm telling my own stories. Now I'm answering questions on the audience, I'm getting booked on podcasts, I'm reaching out and I'm starting to detect patterns and I'm starting to understand and realize there are repetitions in questions that. Okay, I can legitimately say people ask me this all the time. Instead of the typical Instagram hook. Nobody ever asks, I'm actually getting asked the same question multiple times. How do you do this? How did you do this? How did you go from here to here? And so now I'm developing this keynote and once I have a keynote, it's crazy what happens when you start delivering. You start hosting events, you start getting asked to speak on other people's stages. I was at this one event because I was an event junkie. And in the back of the room, the host of the event had a co host, but the co host wasn't going to be there for the next upcoming event. So the host went to back to the back of the room and touched a few of his friends on their shoulders and said, hey, my co host isn't going to be here next time. Can you come out into the lobby with me and kind of show me what you got? Now, I wasn't invited to this secret circling of the wagons, but I heard about it and went anyway because they touched the person next to me and I thought, oh, I want to do that. So I'm going to invite myself. I went out and I took my two minutes, shared my ever two minute version of my keynote I had. And by the next event I was keynoting on that stage. He said, that's what I want to share. And I spent five years on that stage as it happened as often as every two weeks and talk about getting the reps in. I messed up so many times. I messed up so many times and learned what not to do. I learned what worked. I tested things on the audience. I took notes. I replayed and re watched my videos, which can oftentimes be the hardest, hardest part of speaking.

[A]

100% agree. 100% agree. There's no better coach than yourself when you see and you'll self correct. 100% agree.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

Most people won't do it or don't do it and won't do it because it's a hard reality.

[B]

Oh, it's so hard to swallow that

[A]

thumbs and your nose and rights will go right out the window in the left way.

[B]

That's so true. It's so true. And if anyone's listening and saying, how do I become a public speaker? A great friend of mine, she said, if you want to speak more, you have to speak more. So bravo.

[A]

These are, these are great bombs. And that you do get the gold. What was the nuggets. Yeah, that's building up into the gold brick. Yes. You got to put in the reps. If you want to speak more, you speak more and you do it. So this outfit that you were speaking at every two weeks, what was it? Was this through this Kirk fella?

[B]

No, it's actually someone different. So I, I met a mentor in our area and you know, we, we don't work together anymore, but this was. So we, we cycled through four topics all over and over and over again throughout the year. So we did a health seminar, we did a wealth seminar. We did a marriage kind of relationship seminar. And then we did a personal development spiritual version of the same thing. So we did. Oh gosh, we did all sorts of things. We did the 20 Robbins walking on fire type thing. We did the walking on glass. We were very, very process heavy for a lot of it, bringing in the physiological portion of it. But that, that crucible is where I learned to be someone free of stage fright. Because, I mean, listen when you and I talk or when your friend asks you for help, you don't have stage fright. You're not worried about toilet papers being stuck to the bottom of your shoe. You're not worried about having something in your teeth. You're not worried about peeing your pants on stage, which I've done. You don't worry about that when you're helping people. And so that's what the Crucible really does to make an exquisite speaker is you get the reps in enough to forget about yourself. You're not worried about yourself anymore. You're worried about, am I. Am I causing the impact? And I gotta tell you this story of the most just, you know, you look for these moments of, am I doing the right thing with the gifts that God has given me? And this is what happened. I was at an event, and at the beginning of the event, it was my job to help the audience break the ice and, like, just get familiar with each other. You know, when you host a big seminar and you're in the audience and it feels awkward because you're really close to the person next to you because they pack the chairs in so tight, it's just awkward in the beginning. And it was my job to break the ice, and we called it the icebreaker. So what I did is I demonstrated a process where I had the audience get up, find someone they didn't come with, and I said, I want you to connect to the person in front of you. And sometimes that meant they held hands, and sometimes they just looked at each other. And I said, I want you to just share with them the greatness that you see in them. Just tell them. And so before I turn loose, I brought up an audience member to demonstrate this. And when I bring up an audience member and when you have a volunteer, you really want to be careful about who you pick. You don't want someone that wants the limelight because they'll make it all about them.

[A]

Yep.

[B]

You don't want someone that got voluntold because that's. They're not willing. What you're looking for is the willing but hesitant, the person that raises their hand but really slowly, maybe last, because that's.

[A]

The person wants to do it, but they're reluctant or scared.

[B]

Yes, that's the person you're looking for. So I called on that person. And I don't want to create any biases, but if I describe this person to you, you will automatically understand a lot of what's going on the inside of this person. This is a person that was wearing lots of dark clothing with lots of rivets and spikes and lots of angry appearing. There was a curtain of hair covering his face, lots of dark makeup, dark eyeliner, which, if you really pay attention to humanity and you understand body language, you will understand that the outward captivity of their appearance represents an inward captivity of the soul. So I called on that person because it was willing but hesitant, and I got him up there, and I did this demonstration of the greatness I see in you. And then after that, I turned the audience loose and the rest of the event went on. Three months later, we're having another event shocker. And a woman comes up to me and she says, marianne, you don't know my name, you don't know who I am, and I'm sure you know where this is going. She said, but you changed my son's life that day. She said, when you pulled my son up on that stage, what you didn't know was that later that day he had death certificate plans, I'll put it that way. He had a note, he had ideations, he had plans, and he intended to follow through. But he is still here because you saw something in him that he wasn't willing or couldn't see himself. And that moment, Mitch, that yes, we want to make this a business, and yes, we want to generate revenue, yes, we want to do this sustainably. But it's moments like that that keep us going, even between revenues, when the revenue doesn't come as fast as you want it to. And I promise you there'll be times when it doesn't, when you wonder what you're doing. I have a thank you wall in my office right over here of notes and cards that I have accumulated over time. And when the system breaks or when the business gets too heavy, or when I'm in between diaper changes, potty training and podcast appearances, I look at that wall and I remember that all of this was worth it because that's why we keep going.

[A]

So visual reminders to keep keep you on, on track. You put in the reps. I mean, these are all great tips. I mean, these are articles in itself and components to. Well, because you've put in the hard yards. I mean, just based on the way you talk and are sharing your experience, you've put in your dues and that's what happens. You can't flub becoming an excellent speaker. You can't flub becoming a mentor. You have to put in the yards. There is a favorite, but one of my favorite books called the Outliers by Malcolm Gladwell. Oh, yes, and it was so impactful. Talks about 10,000 hours. And that isn't an exact number, it's a metaphor. But. But you have to put in the amount of time necessary to earn your black belt if you study Taekwondo. I'm a taekwondo 6 dan, so I'm speaking from experience. And in Singapore, where I've spoken many, many times, they have something called lifelong learning, which is a government funded learning annex, if you will, or a learning platform where people learn all sorts of life skills and Job skills. And when you walk up to the second floor with the. Through the main entrance, in the stairs, it says 10,000 hours. That's how impactful that book was to the management of lifelong learning. They put in 10,000 hours in order to develop a level of expertise. And where it comes auto magically, you've got to put in 10,000 hours. And those are where the reps are. I mean, how do you get those big biceps and, and, or strong legs and foundation? You put in the time for five years you spoke every two weeks.

[B]

It was intensive. It was intensive. And then there was trainings in between that because we were holding events every two weeks. But then we had to do the fulfillment.

[A]

Right.

[B]

So now we're speaking at fulfillment events every single week on top of every two weeks, hosting public events.

[A]

And you have six kids. Oh my gosh.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, if they, they can.

[A]

Why don't you get over your laziness, Marianne? I mean, come on.

[B]

I know I got an issue. I. Problems.

[A]

Church didn't work. You need a therapist.

[B]

Well, and I won't say that, that I did that perfectly either. You know, there were times when I was probably working too much. I remember the moment when my kiddos were like, I don't even know what you do, Mom. I don't even know what you do. And that was a wake up call for me.

[A]

But you reach those 10,000 hours, or the metaphor of that, where I suspect you could stand up on a stage right now, fear less. Now, most will admit, even with people with your level experience, my level experience, and some of our contemporaries, there's a certain amount of angst that happens and then it disappears after a certain amount of them. How do you manage stage fright? What, what worked for you?

[B]

So this happened today? Actually, I was, I just came from an event and this event we is held every quarter and this, I love this room. It's called the X Room. It's run by my buddy Sean Finnegan and it's every quarter here in Utah and it is full of the top entrepreneurs. We had Donny Osmond's nephew, who played Joseph in the Joseph and Amazing Technical or Dream Co. He sang for us. It was beautiful. But every time we do this event, as you can imagine, a room full of entrepreneurs, they're going to talk, they're going to network and we, whenever we get together, it is hard to manage the energy of that room because there's so much going on and there's food. So at the beginning of every event, Sean pulls me up and it is loud and it's noisy. And Sean grabs a microphone. He said, where's Marianne? So he points over to me. He's like, marianne, can you get us started, please? And I did. I hadn't planned to be on stage, although I know that Sean, he does call my name whenever in the room. He's very generous with his time. But he said, can you get this room pulled together? And so I was called on stage with, no. He didn't ask me to come on beforehand. I had no seconds. No. Well, I mean, 10,000 hours, right? But no warning, correct?

[A]

No, that's the key point. No, you don't need the prep because you've put in the. The miles already. You've put in the.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

The reps. So there was a need for a prep. You pulled from your experience, your lifelong experience of those 10,000 hours.

[B]

And I want to underscore what you just said, because those of you that are listening to this in. If you can underline mental notes, go back 15 seconds and re. Listen to that. Because if you think you're not prepared, you are. You have life experience. Don't give any credence to that thought. I didn't prepare for this. Yes, you did. You spent your entire life preparing for this. You were called and qualified for this. And that's what I thought when I got up on that stage with no warning, but lots of preparation, and I got the room in order. And, you know, it was funny, this. The stage fright question comes up because I've been on stage, and not to gloat or anything, but I've had some XP there, as my son would call it, and I could feel the adrenaline in my body, and I could feel I wasn't exactly shaking. But you know that feeling, right, when you get on a roller coaster that the nerves are exhilaration? Yes, the exhilaration. And a lot of people will take that, put it under a mask of fear, and say, I'm afraid of the stage, when really that's not true. If you do that, you are doing what's called damning your energy. And when a dam is withholding an entire river, that dam is under a lot of pressure, that dam is under a lot of tension, and you're withholding the flow from reaching the audience to get rid of stage fright, you're gonna feel the same thing. You're gonna feel the exhilaration. You're gonna feel the nerves. Even today I did. But when you allow it to flow into the audience, instead of withholding the energy, that's managing it. It's like putting a bridle on a horse. You're going to direct the energy instead of trying to contain it. That's not what's meant to do. So as I got the audience, you know, I got up in front of the audience. My trick for these people, this amazing group of people, as I say, okay, everyone, it's time to sit down. Last person standing at the end of 10 seconds comes up here and does the Macarena. I count down from 10. The room is seated and quiet, and we are ready to go. And we had fun doing it. And by the time I was done, I released the energy, I had fun with the room. I gave the microphone back over to Sean and we got started with the event. But the key to eliminating stage fright is to first of all realize, listen, stage fright only happens when you're thinking about yourself. Let that go, or it's not about us anymore. Or on stage, stage fright gets eliminated. When I say, I'm feeling all this energy, how can I use it to serve you? What are you here for? What do you need? I ask this of audiences all the time. What did you come to this event for? What did you get a babysitter for? What did you get a substitute in your business for? Why did you do that? Why are you spending a block of your time here? And what do you hope to get out of it? And as long as I can do everything in my power to fulfill whatever that request is, the stage fright goes away. Because now I'm working.

[A]

Have you used props? Do you talk about props and speaking? Are they useful?

[B]

They can be. They can be. As long as they don't steal the show. I. I'll tell you.

[A]

Well, I'm thinking of Bill Gates. He spoke at a TED training or a TED event, and he used mosquitoes. Now he's as boring as they come. As a speaker couldn't be more. Oh, gosh, he's horrible. He has no stage presence. He's not an attractive man. He's got an unattractive voice. Everything. All of his natural boxes are unchecked. All the. But he effectively used mosquitoes when he was talking about malaria and viruses and so on. This is all before the pandemic, of course, which he created, but the. The mosquitoes were let loose into the audience and it was shocking.

[B]

Wait, he actually did this? He bought a box of mosquitoes and turn them loose?

[A]

Yes. Oh, yeah. If you look up, I had no idea. Bill Gates mosquitoes. You will see. And it's got millions and Millions of views because it's Bill Gates number one. So he automatically, he has something we don't have, most of us will never have. It's called billions and billions into the in the bank. And truly an influencer. But he sucks as a speaker. He was not Steve Jobs, who was incredibly charismatic, just the opposite. But he used props or a prop very, very effectively and it'll be worthwhile to look at, to see. Oh, and he tied it into the message and he opened it up and let them fly. Now, none of them had malaria, but he was talking about malaria in Africa and how all these people don't have the vaccines that we have access to. So I thought I'd share what they get and he'd open, he opened up the, the, a canister with mosquitoes and let them fly into the audience. Now, they did not have any malaria. Of course they were pre checked. He's not going to get sued. But the, the shock factor was huge. Huge. It's worthwhile looking at.

[B]

I call that the state change.

[A]

State change.

[B]

A state change.

[A]

Estate change. Oh, yes. Yeah. From boring to fear.

[B]

Yes, I did that today. I, I practice a state change today. The, these state changes are. And when I say state change, it changes the state of emotion that we are in. It makes us pay attention. And every good keynote has a state change about every 90 seconds and sometimes even more frequently now that we've been conditioned for a dopamine hit in under 30 seconds, thanks to scrolling TikTok. Yeah, right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I did a state change today and I, I always like to test state changes to see if they work or not. Sometimes they don't, but this one did. It was really cool. So I'm leaving the event today and I'm getting the contact information of someone who said, oh, I saw you at this event a while ago. I'd love to connect. I said, great. And I looked up at her and I, and I looked and she, I saw that she had an iPhone and I said, great, you want to have phone sex because when you touch two iPhones together, they share contact and buzz a little bit. Yeah.

[A]

They get married very quickly. They do shotgun wedding.

[B]

It worked. Everyone around starts laughing, starts like, just, oh my gosh. Do you want to. Can we do a threesome? It was like mildly inappropriate.

[A]

What did you start?

[B]

You good? I don't know what I started. I don't even know if I would do it again. But it worked in that moment to, to humanize all of us, to make us laugh a little bit. And it was Great.

[A]

Well, I want to talk about that. Because you've put in the reps, you've put in the time. Do you think humor can come more freely and organically with the time on the stage or because that wasn't planned. That was extemporaneous, wasn't it? Totally.

[B]

It was a test.

[A]

Okay. Could you have done that in your early speaking journey?

[B]

Well, let me be honest. Let me tell you what my experience was. Very beginning in my speaking journey, I leveraged a lot of humor because of my nervousness. I was so unsure of whether or not I could remember my keynote, whether or not I can stay on track. But I remember making the audience laugh and how much more at ease I felt.

[A]

Of course.

[B]

Right? Of course they felt at ease. I felt at ease. And so I was causing a lot of laughter, probably at the expense of the actual moral of the story. Whatever I was trying to teach in the beginning. And then I did this weird bell curve where I got really serious in all of my keynotes and I was like, I had people crying and it was very transformational. But I lost and I missed a lot of humor and to the point where I literally got on Amazon and Google and I was like, how do I be funny again? And I bought all the books about how to speak funny again and how to bring humor and levity back because of Fred Rogers. Now, you know, Fred Rogers, Mr. Rogers neighborhood. Something he taught and even put in front of Congress, was that children learn way better when we're having fun.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

And none of us have grown out of being children. No matter how old we are, no matter how mature we feel, we all are children. We're all figuring this out one day at a time. So I was like, well, if it's true for kids, it's gotta be true for adults. So now, and in just the last 18 months, I have wanted to bring authentic laughter, levity, humor into keynoting again. And I do it when I teach too. Because if we can make ourselves laugh, if we can enjoy what we're doing that much more, it's going to stick harder.

[A]

Give me the your. Your opinion or your experience of speaking through a webinar or being on a online summit versus in person, because people think, oh, I'm great on webinars, and then when they get on a live stage, it's a wake up call.

[B]

Huh? Well, I would say there's pros and cons, right?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

I think that based on my experience. Oh, okay. Well, a webinar solo with a camera when you can't see your audience is probably the hardest room, at least for me to be in because I feed off of my audience's energy. We speak together, we're conversing, we're interacting. I can watch their responses. When I'm on a webinar and I can't see the audience, that is the hardest room. Or when I'm filling filming a YouTube video and there's nobody to respond, that's when I have sucked the worst because there's nothing to return and give me feedback and help me understand. Is this landing no feedback loop? It's exceptionally difficult when you don't have a feedback loop. The only feedback loop you have is the comments on Instagram, if there are any, or you watching it yourself later. I will say that there are ways to overcome that. When you're in a webinar, I ask for feedback all the time. If we're in a zoom webinar, I say type A1 in the chat if this is you, right? Or drop the city that you're from or turn your cameras on, for crying out loud. You got to be careful with that one. You got to have moderators if you have a big room with cameras on. We've seen some weird things, but interact. Mitch, I don't even like I, I went there.

[A]

Okay, all right.

[B]

I would not afflict you with what I have seen.

[A]

I, I, I just thought, okay, I wonder what.

[B]

But I think it was, it was the height of COVID and I won't tell you what it was, but we had rented a venue where, you know, we were all six feet apart and buying into this bull crap. But anyway, we had a, a 10 foot tall set of monitors behind us and we filled it with the cameras of the people that were live and participating. And I will say that some people probably started their only fans on those on that day and it was awful.

[A]

I've never seen that, but I automatically went there when you mentioned I thought, oh my God, I bet they do some things that are X rated when you ask. I've never seen it, but humans don't shock me anymore.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I guess they've, they're part of the animal kingdom.

[B]

Well, some more than others, but yeah.

[A]

Yes. Oh, that's hilarious. Well, maybe hilarious isn't the right word. That's not too shocking.

[B]

Well, yeah, it doesn't surprise us and we can make fun of it because why not? Life's too short to be too peeved for too long. You know, as far as, you know, being on stage versus versus virtual, I Will say what we said before. The feedback loop is so critical because part of speaking, so much of that is listening. So much of speaking is listening to your audience, watching their body language. Where are their feet positioned? You can tell how much your feet are more honest than the rest of you, by the way, because it's controlled by your limbic system. I watch hands. I watch. If people are in the audience like this, it means they're not understanding something. It means they're thinking really hard. So I usually repeat or re explain or ask for a share. So when you can create as much of that response as possible. Now we understand. Do I need to speed up? Do I need to slow down? Are they getting it? Are they engaged? Did they get what they came for? So there's a whole science to, you know, in person versus live, but the basic foundation for both of it is human communication.

[A]

Love it. Love it. Where can people get more information? I mean, I know you have a nice giveaway for hosts when you are a guest. What can they get from you?

[B]

So the reason I give this away is what I mentioned before. I want more people to pick up the microphone. And I have to be honest, I cannot get behind everyone's message. I just can't. I can't get, like, there's messages out there that I don't agree with, which is why the messages that I do agree with, that I would put in front of my children, they deserve more air time. I want you to be on stage. I want you to be speaking. I want you to book yourself on podcasts. I want you to get seen. Your message needs to be listened to by the person who's driving next to my daughter on the freeway, because I want them to be nicer people. So I want everyone who feels that kick in the chest that I felt to get out there and start podcasting. And Mitch is not here with me. And this is one of the easiest ways to get your message out there, to start formulating it, to start whittling it down. So I go to Marianne Hickman.com forward/, free gift. You can get my database of over a thousand podcasts. So there's something for you, I promise. They've all promised to not charge their guests. I give it away for free. And I just want you to get your message out there because there is someone who you will never meet whose life will be changed by what you have to say.

[A]

And these are hosts that you're referring to?

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Okay. Are you a host as well?

[B]

I am.

[A]

Okay. You have your own show. As well. And what's the name of your show?

[B]

Oh, it's super original. You ready for this? It's the Marianne Hickman Show.

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, that's easily followed and found.

[B]

Okay, Right. Easy to remember for me.

[A]

What's the topic you cover?

[B]

So I cover all topics that I have a remote interest in.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I put lots of different speakers on stage, and the last show we just aired was the behind the scenes of TEDx and what it means for speakers who are aspiring to that kind of a stage and what you should expect, what it is and what it isn't. I've had people on there that talk about astrology because I'm curious about what makes that important. I have people on there that talk about graphic design and imagery and editing and marketing. So we cover a wide spectrum of topics. But if I'm not interested, I don't air it. It has to maintain my curiosity, and I have to want to know about it. So really, it's just everything that I'm interested in. But here's the thing. Sometimes I disagree with my guests, and I love it when that happens. I don't know about you, but September 10th of 2025 hit me like a ton of bricks. And that was the day that we lost Charlie Kirk. It was 20 minutes from my home, and two weeks later, I drove to that campus so I could just make it in. Right. And. And it's. And I don't know if or care if anyone loves or hates or agrees or disagrees, but one of the things that Charlie did is he put the microphone up to people and inspired debate. Now, you could argue whether it was done perfectly. No, it wasn't done perfectly. He's an imperfect human. But the point is, if we don't agree, we need to be able to talk about it.

[A]

Yeah. And he didn't deserve to die. Agree or disagree with his politics. The poor young man did not deserve to die.

[B]

Not even a little bit there.

[A]

That's. That was just horrible, horrible, horrible. And I don't even want to public comment about whether I agree with his politics or not. He was a young man who deserved to live. And we're all. Fortunately, we're in a free country. We're allowed to express our opinions. And if you don't want to be there, then leave.

[B]

Exactly. And. And we, as a. As a people, I believe we need to learn to disagree amicably.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We need to learn to talk about politics. We need to learn to talk about religion. We need to learn to own our opinion. And be able to share our perspectives without being threatened by the person across from us. So a lot of times on my show I bring people on that I disagree with because I'm curious. I want to know, I want to learn, I want to discuss both sides. Maybe one of us are change of mind, maybe not. But that's okay. So that's a long answer to say what the show's about. It's just anyone that spikes my curiosity, I want to know about it.

[A]

Got it. Love it. Marianne, you've been a great guest, as expected. I'm sure we could talk and talk and talk about this topic. You know, speaking was my life for 40 plus years and now I'm strictly sitting on my rump enjoying being a podcast host. That's where I've transitioned and I enjoy it.

[B]

So speaking.

[A]

Yes, still speaking. Just in a different platform. So no longer standing on my feet. Superb. So Marianne Hickman.com forward/free gift free gift. We love free.

[B]

Easy to remember.

[A]

Easy to remember. Thank you so much for your time today.

[B]

Thank you Mission. God bless you.

[A]

Thanks for tuning in to the Amazing Authorities podcast. If today's episode inspired you, take a moment to subscribe, rate and leave a review. It helps more experts like you rise to the top for behind the scenes access and free resources to boost your authority. Head to MitchCarson.com until next time, stay amazing.