The Amazing Authorities Podcast

Episode Title: When the Fighting Stops: Daryl Dittmer on Sobriety, Resilience & Rebuilding Life

Host: Mitch Carson
Guest: Daryl Dittmer, author of When I Stop Fighting
Date: November 20, 2025

Episode Overview

This powerful episode explores the deeply personal journey of sobriety, resilience, and personal growth with author Daryl Dittmer. Straying from the show’s usual focus on business, host Mitch Carson and Daryl dive into the raw realities of addiction, the process of recovery, and the ongoing work of rebuilding a meaningful, contented life. Dittmer shares the inspirations behind his books, lessons from his upbringing, how recovery transformed his life and business, and the strategies he uses to maintain balance and peace.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Writing as a Tool for Healing and Legacy

[01:05]

• Dittmer wrote When I Stop Fighting to give back and help others with similar struggles.
  • “I decided to write my book because I wanted to give back and I wanted to tell the stories and I wanted to help people who could relate to some of the seeds that I might be able to plant.” — Daryl Dittmer [01:42]
• The idea for the book came from his wife’s perspective—the ability to change, and the desire to leave an enduring resource for his stepsons.
  • “I want to leave something behind that people can refer to and potentially learn from.” — Daryl Dittmer [03:54]

2. The ‘Fighting’ Series: From Inner Struggles to Acceptance

[04:38]

• Dittmer explains his book series: When I Stop Fighting, When You Stop Fighting, with a third installment in the works.
• The rationale for the titles centers on a lesson from his sponsor:
  • “Daryl, when you stop fighting, the fighting stops.” — Daryl Dittmer’s sponsor, Bud [08:54]
• Core theme: Most battles are internal—learning to surrender replaces endless struggle.
  • “Most of the fight that I've experienced in my life is inside of me.” — Daryl Dittmer [09:09]

3. Family Legacy and Early Influence

[07:36 - 10:43]

• Raised with a tough, “fight everything” Midwestern ethic from parents and mentors shaped Daryl’s early views on life.
• Parental support, including an intervention, helped him enter recovery as a young man.
  • “Go talk to this dude or get out of our life.” — Daryl Dittmer [10:40]

4. Early Recovery: Shame, Social Struggles & Finding Peace

[11:26 - 15:47]

• Candid discussion on the difficulties of socializing and living sober at a young age.
• Both host and guest discuss insecurity, shame, and slow learning in early recovery, as well as the difficulty of letting go of harmful beliefs.
  • “I couldn't look people in the eye… I always felt like I was kind of down here and, and it's just a crappy feeling.” — Daryl Dittmer [12:05]
• Introduction to new perspectives and spiritual growth via literature (Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox).
  • “I didn't know what that word meant, people would talk about peace and gratitude and one day at a time and live and let live and, you know, all that sort of stuff. I'm like, what are you talking about?” — Daryl Dittmer [15:45]

5. Slow Progress, Lasting Rewards

[16:06 - 19:24]

• Recovery is a long journey; both agree that true change is gradual (“the tortoises win the race” [18:05]).
• The road narrows, but this brings freedom:
  • “The road gets narrower... but to me, that's also been the greatest measure of freedom.” — Daryl Dittmer [18:58]
• Doing “the right thing” consistently leads to positive outcomes.

6. Business & Life Rebuilt Through Sobriety

[21:14 - 27:56]

• Daryl’s work ethic developed early from manual labor; almost 40,000 “failures” became stepping stones.
  • “I don't look at, at the failures as they're just stepping stones. They're just a place to step on the way to being, you know, successful.” — Daryl Dittmer [21:40]
• Journey from blue collar roots to a 20-year business career, including entrepreneurship and a major company payoff.
• After business, he and his wife tried new ventures: a restaurant and property investments.

7. Current Endeavors: Writing, Consulting, Podcasting

[28:30 - 30:56]

• Daryl continues to consult, writes, podcasts, and emphasizes rest and travel.
• His podcast, When I Stop Fighting the Podcast, explores stories of recovery and resilience, not just from addiction but all forms of struggle.
  • “So many things hit people that, that can be really difficult for them… it's really just talking to people about their stories of resilience, their stories of, of understanding and changing and, and making a new life.” — Daryl Dittmer [29:44]

8. The Role of Spirituality and Self-Care

[31:28 - 35:36]

• Daryl’s view: The body is “just a meat costume” for the spiritual self. Maintaining sobriety and fulfillment requires daily care of body, mind, heart, and spirit.
  • “I have to treat my body, my mind, my heart and my soul correctly… if I want to have the peace and contentment and the meaning and purpose and great relationships…” — Daryl Dittmer [32:47]
• Practices include meditation, breath work, exercise, journaling, and self-reflection.

9. The Power of Journaling and Writing

[38:46 - 39:43]

• Daryl believes in the therapeutic value of writing, both for dumping negative feelings and discovering personal growth.
  • “There’s something healing about that about writing, right?” — Daryl Dittmer [39:43]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “When you stop fighting, the fighting stops.” — Bud, Daryl’s sponsor [08:54]
• “Most of the fights I have are me against me.” — Daryl Dittmer [09:03]
• “I always felt like I was just inadequate from the perspective of comparison… I was just kind of down here and, and it's just a crappy feeling. But on the flip side of that… I started to gain a little confidence. …life gets to a point where it’s like, holy crap, man, I didn’t know it could be this good, right?” — Daryl Dittmer [12:05 – 13:15]
• “Failures… they’re just stepping stones.” — Daryl Dittmer [21:40]
• “I’ve learned more about what I don’t want in my life than what I do want in my life. And if I can jettison… destructive [things], all that's left is the good stuff.” — Daryl Dittmer [34:58]

Important Timestamps

• [01:05] — Why Daryl wrote When I Stop Fighting
• [03:54] — Inspiration from wife and stepsons
• [08:54] — Origin of the phrase “When you stop fighting, the fighting stops”
• [10:40] — Family intervention and first steps toward recovery
• [12:05-13:15] — Social challenges, shifting from shame to acceptance
• [18:05] — The importance of slow, steady progress in sobriety
• [21:40] — Failure as stepping stones to success
• [28:30] — Where Daryl is today: consulting, writing, podcasting
• [29:44] — Purpose behind When I Stop Fighting the Podcast
• [32:47] — Self-care as foundation of sustained recovery
• [34:58] — Jettisoning negative influences to foster growth
• [39:43] — “There’s something healing about… writing.”

Where to Learn More

• Daryl Dittmer’s books: Search "When I Stop Fighting" or "When You Stop Fighting" on Amazon, or visit DarylDittmer.com for books and journaling resources.
• Podcast: When I Stop Fighting the Podcast — stories of resilience and rebuilding after adversity.

Takeaway Themes

• The hardest battles are often within ourselves.
• True recovery and authority are built slowly—there’s lasting power in “the tortoise” approach.
• Writing—whether for publishing or private reflection—can be a pivotal healing tool.
• Life balance is essential: spiritual practices, self-care, meaningful work, and healthy relationships.
• Lasting authority and influence come from living, not just talking, your truth.

This episode offers an inspiring look at the possibilities that open up when we stop fighting life and start participating in our own growth and healing. Daryl’s honesty and wisdom illuminate not just the path to sobriety, but to genuine contentment and personal authority.