When the Fighting Stops: Daryl Dittmer on Sobriety, Resilience & Rebuilding Life

Summary

The Amazing Authorities Podcast

Episode Title: When the Fighting Stops: Daryl Dittmer on Sobriety, Resilience & Rebuilding Life

Host: Mitch Carson
Guest: Daryl Dittmer, author of When I Stop Fighting
Date: November 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This powerful episode explores the deeply personal journey of sobriety, resilience, and personal growth with author Daryl Dittmer. Straying from the show’s usual focus on business, host Mitch Carson and Daryl dive into the raw realities of addiction, the process of recovery, and the ongoing work of rebuilding a meaningful, contented life. Dittmer shares the inspirations behind his books, lessons from his upbringing, how recovery transformed his life and business, and the strategies he uses to maintain balance and peace.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Writing as a Tool for Healing and Legacy

[01:05]

• Dittmer wrote When I Stop Fighting to give back and help others with similar struggles.
  • “I decided to write my book because I wanted to give back and I wanted to tell the stories and I wanted to help people who could relate to some of the seeds that I might be able to plant.” — Daryl Dittmer [01:42]
• The idea for the book came from his wife’s perspective—the ability to change, and the desire to leave an enduring resource for his stepsons.
  • “I want to leave something behind that people can refer to and potentially learn from.” — Daryl Dittmer [03:54]

2. The ‘Fighting’ Series: From Inner Struggles to Acceptance

[04:38]

• Dittmer explains his book series: When I Stop Fighting, When You Stop Fighting, with a third installment in the works.
• The rationale for the titles centers on a lesson from his sponsor:
  • “Daryl, when you stop fighting, the fighting stops.” — Daryl Dittmer’s sponsor, Bud [08:54]
• Core theme: Most battles are internal—learning to surrender replaces endless struggle.
  • “Most of the fight that I've experienced in my life is inside of me.” — Daryl Dittmer [09:09]

3. Family Legacy and Early Influence

[07:36 - 10:43]

• Raised with a tough, “fight everything” Midwestern ethic from parents and mentors shaped Daryl’s early views on life.
• Parental support, including an intervention, helped him enter recovery as a young man.
  • “Go talk to this dude or get out of our life.” — Daryl Dittmer [10:40]

4. Early Recovery: Shame, Social Struggles & Finding Peace

[11:26 - 15:47]

• Candid discussion on the difficulties of socializing and living sober at a young age.
• Both host and guest discuss insecurity, shame, and slow learning in early recovery, as well as the difficulty of letting go of harmful beliefs.
  • “I couldn't look people in the eye… I always felt like I was kind of down here and, and it's just a crappy feeling.” — Daryl Dittmer [12:05]
• Introduction to new perspectives and spiritual growth via literature (Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox).
  • “I didn't know what that word meant, people would talk about peace and gratitude and one day at a time and live and let live and, you know, all that sort of stuff. I'm like, what are you talking about?” — Daryl Dittmer [15:45]

5. Slow Progress, Lasting Rewards

[16:06 - 19:24]

• Recovery is a long journey; both agree that true change is gradual (“the tortoises win the race” [18:05]).
• The road narrows, but this brings freedom:
  • “The road gets narrower... but to me, that's also been the greatest measure of freedom.” — Daryl Dittmer [18:58]
• Doing “the right thing” consistently leads to positive outcomes.

6. Business & Life Rebuilt Through Sobriety

[21:14 - 27:56]

• Daryl’s work ethic developed early from manual labor; almost 40,000 “failures” became stepping stones.
  • “I don't look at, at the failures as they're just stepping stones. They're just a place to step on the way to being, you know, successful.” — Daryl Dittmer [21:40]
• Journey from blue collar roots to a 20-year business career, including entrepreneurship and a major company payoff.
• After business, he and his wife tried new ventures: a restaurant and property investments.

7. Current Endeavors: Writing, Consulting, Podcasting

[28:30 - 30:56]

• Daryl continues to consult, writes, podcasts, and emphasizes rest and travel.
• His podcast, When I Stop Fighting the Podcast, explores stories of recovery and resilience, not just from addiction but all forms of struggle.
  • “So many things hit people that, that can be really difficult for them… it's really just talking to people about their stories of resilience, their stories of, of understanding and changing and, and making a new life.” — Daryl Dittmer [29:44]

8. The Role of Spirituality and Self-Care

[31:28 - 35:36]

• Daryl’s view: The body is “just a meat costume” for the spiritual self. Maintaining sobriety and fulfillment requires daily care of body, mind, heart, and spirit.
  • “I have to treat my body, my mind, my heart and my soul correctly… if I want to have the peace and contentment and the meaning and purpose and great relationships…” — Daryl Dittmer [32:47]
• Practices include meditation, breath work, exercise, journaling, and self-reflection.

9. The Power of Journaling and Writing

[38:46 - 39:43]

• Daryl believes in the therapeutic value of writing, both for dumping negative feelings and discovering personal growth.
  • “There’s something healing about that about writing, right?” — Daryl Dittmer [39:43]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “When you stop fighting, the fighting stops.” — Bud, Daryl’s sponsor [08:54]
• “Most of the fights I have are me against me.” — Daryl Dittmer [09:03]
• “I always felt like I was just inadequate from the perspective of comparison… I was just kind of down here and, and it's just a crappy feeling. But on the flip side of that… I started to gain a little confidence. …life gets to a point where it’s like, holy crap, man, I didn’t know it could be this good, right?” — Daryl Dittmer [12:05 – 13:15]
• “Failures… they’re just stepping stones.” — Daryl Dittmer [21:40]
• “I’ve learned more about what I don’t want in my life than what I do want in my life. And if I can jettison… destructive [things], all that's left is the good stuff.” — Daryl Dittmer [34:58]

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Important Timestamps

• [01:05] — Why Daryl wrote When I Stop Fighting
• [03:54] — Inspiration from wife and stepsons
• [08:54] — Origin of the phrase “When you stop fighting, the fighting stops”
• [10:40] — Family intervention and first steps toward recovery
• [12:05-13:15] — Social challenges, shifting from shame to acceptance
• [18:05] — The importance of slow, steady progress in sobriety
• [21:40] — Failure as stepping stones to success
• [28:30] — Where Daryl is today: consulting, writing, podcasting
• [29:44] — Purpose behind When I Stop Fighting the Podcast
• [32:47] — Self-care as foundation of sustained recovery
• [34:58] — Jettisoning negative influences to foster growth
• [39:43] — “There’s something healing about… writing.”

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Where to Learn More

• Daryl Dittmer’s books: Search "When I Stop Fighting" or "When You Stop Fighting" on Amazon, or visit DarylDittmer.com for books and journaling resources.
• Podcast: When I Stop Fighting the Podcast — stories of resilience and rebuilding after adversity.

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Takeaway Themes

• The hardest battles are often within ourselves.
• True recovery and authority are built slowly—there’s lasting power in “the tortoise” approach.
• Writing—whether for publishing or private reflection—can be a pivotal healing tool.
• Life balance is essential: spiritual practices, self-care, meaningful work, and healthy relationships.
• Lasting authority and influence come from living, not just talking, your truth.

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This episode offers an inspiring look at the possibilities that open up when we stop fighting life and start participating in our own growth and healing. Daryl’s honesty and wisdom illuminate not just the path to sobriety, but to genuine contentment and personal authority.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome to the Amazing Authorities podcast where game changers, visionaries and category leaders share how they built their brands, platforms and global influence. Your host is Mitch Carson, international speaker, media strategist, and creator of the Instant Authority system. If you're ready to learn from those who've done it and want to become the go to expert in your space, you're in the right place.

[B]

Today's guest, Daryl Dittmer, lives in the mountains of Georgia. He's lived in various places and we're going to talk today. It's a conversation and a journey for both of us in this regard. It's an unusual type of guest. Usually focus on business. In today's interview, I didn't want to call it an interview conversation. I'll say, Daryl, welcome to the show Amazing Authorities. You've written a book called When I Stop Fighting. What prompted you to write this book?

[C]

Thanks for having me on, Mitch. You know, it's been a lifetime of. Of interesting stuff, I guess, to say the least. A lot of really cool experiences, a lot of challenging experiences, a lot of things that have been. Have been difficult. A lot of risk taking, you know, a lot of business stuff. All kinds of different things. Sobriety, freedom from addictions and plural. Yeah. Because, you know, we're pretty good about being addicted to anything, I suppose, right?

[B]

Yeah. Oh, boy.

[C]

I'll speak for myself. But. But I decided to write my book because I wanted to give back and I wanted to tell the stories and I wanted to help people who could relate to some of the seeds that I might be able to plant.

[B]

You know, I have to say something. I have been sober also. I no longer hide it. I kept it very quiet for my business life. We're sober about the same amount of time. That means a long time. And I have written 18 books myself, so I know about the publishing industry. Never once have I written something or written about the topic of which we are both so passionate about. And that's going to change. So I thank you for doing this because now I have to get off my tukas and do something. So this is what we learn through other people is like. It's a motivation. So who motivated you to share your journey and your strength and your hope?

[C]

Well, my. My wife, who's a normal human being.

[B]

Oh boy.

[C]

In terms of how we perceive normal human beings. When I first met her, I was about 20 years into sobriety, maybe 18 years into sobriety. Ish. Something like that. Anyway, so. So I'm telling her these stories and. And you know, just sort of. Here's what I used to be like. And here's some of the troubles, and here's some of the stuff inside of me that was just jumbled and, and messed up. And here's some of the stupid things I did. And she looked at me and she's like, I'm not seeing it. That's not you. That's not you anymore. And I think there was a little hint of. I can see that it's in there, but, you know, it's not the person you are anymore. And, and I said, well, remind me to write a book someday. And that was 18 years ago and, or 20 maybe. And it took me about that long up until two years ago, till I wrote my first book. So she was an inspiration. I have two stepsons that also are an inspiration for me in terms of when I leave this planet, I want to leave something behind that people can refer to and potentially learn from. So those are all my motivations.

[B]

So you've been married 20 years or longer?

[C]

Just, just over 20, yeah.

[B]

Congratulations. Yeah, I was married also to a normie, but I, I think I did what, which, what was normal got divorced, which is, it happens in the, in the. So you have. I see two books when I stop fighting and when you stop fighting, which.

[C]

Was first, the first one was when I stopped fighting.

[B]

And then, so then you. When, how much longer after did you write when you stopped fighting?

[C]

Well, it was, it was interesting because I, over that 18 years, or however long it was, I wrote probably about three paragraphs. I had this little, this little file on my computer called DOS Book from.

[B]

The, oh, my gosh.

[C]

Little takeoff from the movie DOS Boot, which I love.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Submarine. Submarine. Movie.

[B]

I remember it well. German.

[C]

Yeah. Abs. Absolutely. So, and it still says DOS book in my, in my file. But so I wrote about three paragraphs. And, and we, we were in Massachusetts before we came to Georgia, and we had a restaurant there. We had some properties. We had a few things going on from a business perspective. And, and I, we decided that as the restaurant just sort of folded up, we couldn't, we couldn't get help anymore, you know, as Covid was unfolding, that sort of thing. And it was just difficult. So we said, you know what? We're just going to pack it up, we're going to move, we're going to sell some of these things and go on our merry way, and we found a beautiful place in Georgia. So, long story short, we, I, I, I said, you know, I'm going to make a very concerted effort to get this book out. Get it done. I started writing the first one, and I hadn't had it titled yet, but I started writing the first one. It took me about somewhere between two and three months to write the first one because I'm a maniac and I can just, you know, you understand. We start to do something and it's like, okay, up at three in the morning. You know, I got all these ideas. I'm up in the office, I got my robe on, My wife doesn't see me all day. You know, she knows I'm up there writing. And, and so just going, going and going. So two to three months to write the first one. And then after I wrote the first one and had it kind of tidied up, I just kept going and I just kept writing because there was more in there that I needed to get out. And then the second one came out and that was another two to three months. So they were, they were really both written at the same time. But I published one in September of 23. Ish. Republished the second one in September of 24. Wow.

[B]

Congratulations. And where's the third?

[C]

The third's in here and in here. And, and I've got it about 80% outlined. So that's. I just haven't started writing it yet because I know that when I do, I'll just, I'll just rip through it and, and I, I want to have it resonate a little bit more first and just let it soak and simmer and all that sort of thing before I start cranking it out.

[B]

So, and so, so what you've done is write in a series. I presume the fighting word is going to be in the third book.

[C]

I think so. I think so. My. The story behind the title is my first sponsor, his name was Bud, and, and he. I grew up in a Midwestern household, Protestant work ethic. My dad was a mechanic. My mom took care of us kids. It was, you know, my dad was a tough dude. He was a Korean War vet. My mom was also very tough. And, and so that's from whence I came. And, you know, it was, it was an interesting journey as a child, just, you know, sort of navigating all the, the madness. And, and we were taught to fight everything, you know, fight if, if you're, if there's not a bone sticking out, you're not hurt. You know, no pain, no gain, work harder, keep going, you know, no matter what. You know, get up, knock the dirt off, you're fine, all that sort of stuff. So. And I Think we're taught in this world to just wrestle and fight and, and, and go, go, go. And, and I was talking to my sponsor and he's watching me wrestle with my life and wrestle with problems and wrestle with people and, you know, everything else. And he's like, I'm like, bud, help me. And he said, daryl, when you stop fighting, the fighting stops.

[B]

It takes two to fight.

[C]

Well, it takes me against me. That's when I stopped fighting. And most of the fight is in here. Most of the fight that I've experienced in my life is inside of me. So, so that's where the title came from. And so when I stop fighting and when you stop fighting, the third one might be the fighting stops and, and.

[B]

Some takeaway from that. And then there's surrender or serenity to potentially. Yeah. And it's, it's interesting you share this journey. My stepfather, I didn't really know my father was a marine from Korea. He fought in Korea as well. Same. My mother was hard as nails and I get it. Both were fall down alcoholics. So I had my model, but then I had an uncle who was in WW2. You know, he bombed the Marianas. So he was a bombardier in his, his. And he was very much my mentor in a lot of ways of fight, fight, fight, you effing pussy. You know, you're a. From California. He was east coast, Boston born and was tough as nails. Same kind of mentality and, but encouraged my sobriety too. Did your parents, were they around when you got sober?

[C]

They were. Okay.

[B]

They support that.

[C]

They did very much. They, they basically did more or less an intervention, I guess you could call it, I don't know. Okay, call it then.

[B]

Oh, yeah, it's an intervention.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Or a wake up, talk to this dude.

[C]

Go talk to this dude or get out of our life.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I ended up going to talk to this guy who was a drug and alcohol counselor. So he ended up putting me into treatment and, and that was an extremely frightening experience. And I was just, I was just wrecked, you know, internally. And, and it scared the hell out of me. And as you know, getting sober at a young age, you're not only figuring out how to do the sober thing, but you're figuring out life. You're figuring out how to live and how to get along in life and how to do things and, and you know, make money and, and I don't know, hold jobs and write and learn stuff and it's.

[B]

And date, all that. Yeah, I couldn't imagine, you know, my bit One of my biggest challenges, I remember in my last rehab and I went through six of them. Darrell. My last rehab, I said, how am I possibly going to date and have a girlfriend if I can't drink, if I can't use? I, that was my whole pickup line. I, I didn't know how to talk. It was, you want to get loaded?

[C]

That's it.

[B]

And was that any challenge for you socially, how to adapt and assess?

[C]

Oh, I was a disaster.

[B]

Okay, all right.

[C]

Disaster.

[B]

I thought I owned that. You. Not, not just me.

[C]

I couldn't look people in the eye, you know, I, I just, I, it was, I couldn't hold the conversation. I always felt like I was just inadequate from the perspective of comparison to other people. I always felt like I was kind of down here and, and it's just a crappy feeling. But on the flip side of that, when things started to shift a little bit and things started to, you know, I started to gain a little confidence. I started to do some things that were, you know, abnormal. I grew up with a, I was Protestant, you know, Lutheran. And so I was handed this box of here's the stuff you have to believe and if you don't, you're going to hell. And so, you know, then I'm trying to, you know, as I get straight and sober and I'm trying to find out, okay, what resonates for me and, and am I really going to hell if I don't, you know, all that kind of stuff that just jumbled up, right? It's, it's, it's really difficult to sort out early. But then the, the seas smooth over time and, and things get better and things get easier and, and then life gets to a point where it's like, holy crap, man, I didn't know it could be this good, right?

[B]

It does improve. I don't know. I think it takes another alcoholic slash addict to understand how we think like that. Because some to the normies, they just don't get it. That's why I said before we started this discussion, I will call it a discussion slash our own little meeting, if you will. This is what reboots me for the day, is to be able to have a conversation with another alcoholic. And I'm quite open about being one today. I'm no longer ashamed. I felt ashamed that I had to surrender to something that other people didn't have to surrender to. The last thing I wanted was to go to a meeting and have these 40 year old women with cigarette breath hug me and squeeze my cheek and say Aren't you a cutie? And try to get with me, you know, I was disgusted by that because I was so insecure. Like, you couldn't look him in the eye. It. It was. It's been a long journey. I didn't get this right away. It wasn't easy. How about you? How about you? Slower learner? Or did you get it really fast?

[C]

No, I didn't get it really fast. My sponsor handed me a book, which I think was. It probably wasn't this book, but Sermon on the Mount by Emmet Fox was a big one in early.

[B]

Oh, sure, sure.

[C]

In the early program. But he handed me the Ten Commandments by Emmet Fox. And I read that, and I'm like. I'm like, wow. You know, and. And I was probably, I'm going to say, less than a year sober, but it just. It excited me because I thought, oh, there's a different way to look at life than what I've been taught. And. And it didn't mean any. You know, everything got better. It didn't mean everything changed, but it meant that there was some hope that things could be different. Different. And there was some hope that things could be, you know, I could have some peace. And. And because I. I didn't know what that word meant, people would talk about peace and gratitude and one day at a time and live and let live and, you know, all that sort of stuff. I'm like, what are you talking about? What is all that stuff?

[B]

Letting go.

[C]

No. Yeah. I had no idea. I had no idea. So it was definitely a. A long, you know, I would say arduous road for probably, I don't know, 10 years as I was getting my legs under me. And then I concur.

[B]

Settled. Yeah, I concur. And what I tell people, the metaphor is the rabbits that get this very fast, you know, like, they're. They're quoting the Big Book. They're quoting. Their life is great. I've got Penelope, the hot gal with chewing gum with her mouth open, coming up, walking around with the teased hair. This is 84. And I. And I remember this particular guy who had drove a red Ferrari, his name was Joe, had the shirt that, you know, was unbuttoned down here with the big gold chain. Remember, this is a different time, the 80s. This is when, you know, remember, yeah, the Bee Gees were around, and I think the Gogos were the band at that time. And. Yeah. And one of them was in the meetings back then. And this is la, where I got. Where I got sober and this guy comes up to take his 90 day chip and said live spitching, you know, I've got a hot gal over here. And she had just bought the biggest bolt ons you could imagine, like triple Ds. She was going to tip over.

[C]

He's like Boltons.

[B]

Yeah. Bolt ons. They were bolt ons, man. I mean, you know, from Dr. Goldberg and they, which was a model that people used to joke about in LA at the time it was like triple out to here. He had that, the red Ferrari convertible, of course, and, and you know, chewing gum with his mouth open. She was chewing gum with her mouth open. Like everything was great. Just like a cow on a. Doing this life's great. Well, he stopped going to meetings, his business blew up and he blew his head off. So I, I, it's, it's very extreme and I had to, I came in broke on all levels. I don't know about you, but I was a slow Learner. You said 10 years. I would echo. I don't know exactly the number, but it took me a long time to get this. But the tortoises win the race, man. We're tortoises.

[C]

I believe that. Yeah, yeah, I believe that, Mitch. And I, I think, you know, it really is about changing and it really is about figuring out, you know, how to take this little thing called my life. Back then that was just all this balled up emotion and all kinds of, you know, just ah, ready to explode and, and expand my life to, to include a lot of things, you know, and, and, and I'm, but I have to, and my sponsor Bud used to say this all the time. He's like, man, the road gets narrower, you know, there's only so much, there's only so much you can, you know, quote unquote, get away with. You know, you really start to narrow that road and, and the things that you do. But, but to me, that's also been the greatest measure of freedom.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Because I'm not making choices generally that are detrimental to me, detrimental to how I operate in here. And in saying that, it means it's not detrimental to my sobriety. If I'm not doing stupid crap, I'm probably going to be okay. And I truly believe that.

[B]

Isn't that amazing how it works? You just do the right thing and things work out right. You just do the right thing. And because I was ramming into the wall left, right and center, this just, the life didn't work. And until I stopped doing that stupid stuff, just you said, I'm going to I've noticed two things over your shoulders. The first one is the flag in the case is what's the significance of that? My dad, I have my uncles just like that from when he had his burial at the veterinary veterinarian at the Veteran Cemetery in Long Island, New York. It's where he had his. And I have that flag. I, I was wondering if it was from, from, from there. And then on your other shoulder, I see a print article encased. Tell us about that.

[C]

You know, that was an article that I did I forget the name of the, oh, the Bold Journey magazine. And, and that was just, you know, some really cool questions about life and, and living it and getting better and, you know, and to me, sobriety and, and recovering and, and that sort of thing. And it's just, it's a cool way for me to engage with different people and, and as they want to talk, I, I love to talk and I, I love to talk about real things. And when I say real things, I mean the stuff that's going on in here and the stuff that's going on in here is just kind of stuff most of the time, but the stuff that's going on in here is the real stuff. And, and that's really what I, that's what I engage in and that's, that's what I love to share with people.

[B]

That's awesome. And what, Tell us about your business journey as a result of choosing to be sober.

[C]

You know, I had a discussion with a, A, a lady earlier today. Okay. She was asking about my business journey, and she's like, you know, how many times have you failed? I'm like, I don't know, about 40,000. And.

[B]

I love the honesty, Daryl.

[C]

And that's completely okay because I, I don't, I don't look at, at the failures as they're just stepping stones. They're just a place to step on the way to being, you know, successful in, in whatever it is that is happening. So, so I was, I was, I grew up. My dad started my journey by putting me in front of a farmer when I was 14 years old and said, can you put him to work? And the farmer was like, yeah, I can put him to work. And I learned work ethic. I learned to bust my butt for 12, 14, even some days. We did 16 hours from before light to just after dark. And, and so work ethic was instilled early. And I, and I learned to embrace that, which was a really cool thing. So, so I was very blue collar. Like I said, my dad was A mechanic. Nobody in my family had graduated from college, and, and so I had no idea what was going on. I got, I got sober and I was pretty decent at basketball in, in high school. And, and as a way to skip school, one day I, I, I went to visit a college with a buddy of mine who was like this nerd, and he was just this anomaly. We're like, who are you? You don't drink, you don't, you know, and we're all nut jobs.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

But he, but he said, you want to talk to the basketball coach? I'm like, yeah, if it's a day off school, sign me up. And so I talked to the basketball coach, you know, and it was just kind of a joke to me. And, but when I got sober, I was like, you know what? I'm going to call this guy back and I'm going to see if he wants to, you know, wants me to play basketball. And he did. And it wasn't a scholarship or anything. It was a small school, but I, but I ended up going to school and I went to school for criminal justice. And, and because I didn't have, When I got out of college, I didn't know the difference between wholesale and retail. I didn't care about finance. I didn't care about marketing. I didn't care about sales. I didn't know about any of it. I graduated from college in criminal justice. In criminal justice. And I went to be a carpenter again because I had done some of that. So I was framing homes and then a guy asked me if I wanted to get involved in sales. And I'm like, no. And he asked me again. He handed me a VHS tape. Remember those? That was, seemed like a long time ago.

[B]

All too well, buddy. Yes.

[C]

But anyway, the VHS tape had these stories of these people who are making tons of money. Find out it's a network marketing thing. I had no idea what that was at that time.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Which is fine.

[B]

ML.

[C]

Yeah. And so, so I got involved and, you know, a couple times I did okay, and, and whatever. Ultimately just crashed and burned, you know, end up with zero money, blah, blah, blah, whatever.

[B]

As did I. I fell for it too. Amway was the first.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. This one was water filters. And okay, I did that too. It was fascinating journey. But anyway, one of the guys was like, okay, he's not very polished, but he works hard. So he got me involved with these other guys who, it wasn't an mlm. It was actually a real company and it was, it was selling advertising space to industrial clients. And I sucked. I was terrible. Excuse me. So I fell flat on my face with that one. The thing is, every time I fell flat on my face, I didn't have any money. So it's doing side projects, it's doing decks, it's doing all kinds of stuff of things that I knew I could do right. And then I got a friend of mine from college said, hey, you want to go with us to Boston? Were working with a behavioral therapist and we're developing programs in this virtual reality sound. And people can listen to these, this stuff in their, in their headphones and it sounds like 3D. And it was just, it was actually a really cool technology. But we came out to Boston and we were delivering smoking cessation, stress management and weight control. First thing I needed to do is get off the smoking before I could sell them. And that wouldn't have worked out very well, but. And so I just replaced it with chewing tobacco at that time, because that's okay.

[B]

Okay, I got, I got you.

[C]

Anyway, so. So, you know, we went out to Boston, we made a few sales. It went okay, but we ultimately decided, and I have a bunch of wonderful friends in Boston, but, but that people in Boston were too stressed to do anything about their stress. And so, so. And that was fine, but that was a failure. And at that time, I didn't know anybody in Boston, but I thought, you know what? I'm going to stay. Everybody that I went out there went back. I stayed. I was in this, you know, roach infested, damp, dank apartment and trying to make my way working for. Doing side jobs with carpentry and then, you know, doing other. Oh, shoot, A commercial window company I was working for, doing takeoffs on blueprints and so just, you know, making my way, making my way, making enough money to survive. And that was it. And finally I met a guy who was in the risk management field. Commercial insurance, kind of financial deals around an insurance product. And, and I got involved in that and that just started to work and it started to go well and, and he sold the company. And then I became the second largest shareholder in the new company. Based on my. One of my mentors said, you know what, you got to have ownership if you want to make money. I said, all right. So I asked and they gave it to me based on my sales history. And, and that's what I did for 20 years. And it went from, you know, I was one of the first seven employees and, you know, a shareholder. And then it, it just got sold and it was about 6,000 employees.

[B]

Wow. So you had a nice payday.

[C]

It's quite a journey. Yeah, it was quite a journey.

[B]

So you had a nice payday and that allowed you to go do what you're doing. Good for you, man. You pay, you, you, you paid your dues and you had the payoff.

[C]

Yeah. And, and actually in the middle of that, I, after 20 years, I said, you know what? It's getting too corporate for me. I'm done. And, and my wife and I bought a restaurant. We, you know, know, we did some stuff with some properties and that sort of thing, so just expanded a little bit and it was, it was a fun ride. I learned a ton and, and, you know, very grateful for how things have, have worked out.

[B]

So what about today? Are you retired or where, where's Daryl today? I know you're a published author twice, and the third is in your head coming out on paper.

[C]

You know, I am, I, I, I still consult. I do a couple of consulting gigs for clients that I had back in the old business, and I've been doing that since 2012, 2013, something like that. And so I do that and then I actually, you know, I write, I have a podcast, I do some social media stuff and whatever, but I swear I'm, I'm. And my wife and I vacation a lot, so we, we head off to the, Wherever. Like I said, we're coming to, to where you're at in the not too distant future, so we'll make sure.

[B]

Yeah, but, but anyway, tell us about your podcast, girl.

[C]

My podcast is called. It's not really that creative, but it's called When I Stop Fighting the Podcast.

[B]

And my TV show in Vegas is called Amazing Authorities, where I interview.

[C]

Well, there you go.

[B]

Yeah. And mine is the Amazing Authorities podcast. So I'm as about as unique as you.

[C]

I, I didn't knock the COVID off on the naming thing, but, you know, it's, it really is connecting with people and, and, and talking about stories of recovering and not necessarily, you know, just drugs or alcohol. So many things hit people that, that can be really difficult for them, whether it's, you know, trauma as a younger person or, or, you know, any addiction. I mean, social media today is, is a horrifying addiction, in my opinion, because we're not, we're not embracing a normal state. We're, you know, we're zip, zip, zip, zip, zip, read and, you know, get emotionally involved, all that sort of stuff and, and similar to how we could be with, with food or with sex or with gambling or Drugs or alcohol or anything. And, and, and so it's really just talking to people about their stories of resilience, their stories of, of understanding and changing and, and making a new life and those sorts of things. And it's just a, it's, it's. I've had some of the most wonderful conversations with the. I'm blessed to be able to talk to all these great people.

[B]

Isn't that a bonus? You know, and that's what sobriety has provided you is having all these life experiences and you talk about. I think my biggest challenge other than sobriety was dealing with a five year protracted divorce process. And, and that, that was a challenge. But if I couldn't have endured it without having a strong base of sobriety and connection behind. Yeah. Where does spirituality factor or does it not in your life?

[C]

You know, I look at quite honestly, you know, and I have to do all the stuff, right? I eat and I work and I do all the, you know, stuff that my body does, but I look at it like I'm just, you know, this, this meat costume is carrying around my spirit, the real me. Okay. That's kind of how I perceive it. And because one of the most important things for me, because it left to its own devices and I know it talks about this in, in the big Book or you know, 12 and 12, like, hey, if you just let everything go nuts, you're going to go nuts. And, and if you let everything just, you know, for me I can, I can be, I can be difficult on myself. I can, I can try too hard, I can hurt myself. I can do all kinds of things to myself. So, so I've had to learn to quiet myself and quiet my mind and quiet my heart. I think when I was a kid people would have said, like when I was young, they would have said, oh man, this kid's got, you know, ADD or ADHD or something. Put me on some kind of drugs because I was just a little, you know, I was, I was just this high energy kid and I can still be that way. So, so I have to consciously calm myself, which I do through meditation and I do breath work and those sorts of things and I exercise and, and those all feed my, my spirit. I look at my sobriety and my life as I have to treat my body, my mind, my heart and my soul correctly. Like we talked about earlier. Don't do dumb stuff. I have to treat myself correctly. And if I want to have the peace and contentment and the meaning and purpose and great relationships and all of Those things, and not only so that I can have them, but so that I can enjoy them and I can be with them while they're happening.

[B]

Makes total sense. It's not one thing. It's a collection of things. And I know that I saw a hypnotherapist years ago. I was looking for some additional help beyond the program. I'd been sober a while, I don't know, 20 years at that time. But I went to this guy that I met in a networking group of Business networking group. And he took me on the first time to see the life wheel of having all of these components in balance. Relationship, spirituality, health, mental health, you know, business, finances. Are they there? Do you have, say, all of these elements? And it's all got to work, you know, as a big chain. And if, if you're missing a link, the chain doesn't go around. Well.

[C]

Right. Yeah, right. I. I've absolutely found that when I'm not treating my body well and, you know, if I'm. If I'm. I used to love jelly beans. I would eat jelly beans at every opportunity.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that was, you know, that was just kind of me and, and, and I found out through getting sick and, you know, sick in the intestinal region, like, not cool, man. You know, that combined with, you know, business stress and all the, all those things that can kind of get you and pile up on. On you and that sort of thing. They piled up on me several times. And so, you know, we just, we learn. And I had to learn over time that, that there are things. And I like to put it this way, I've learned more about what I don't want in my life than what I do want in my life. And, and if I, If I can jettison some of those things that I know are destructive for me, all that's left is the good stuff, you know, and, and it's really, it's. It's seeking to understand what those things are that might not be helping my growth in. In all areas of life.

[B]

No, I love it.

[C]

That.

[B]

That's a great recipe for success. And now do you cover that in, in your books? Do you talk about some of.

[C]

Okay, I do, absolutely. My first book is more or less my story, and it kind of starts from the beginning. You know, here's me. The addiction and dysfunction and recovery and taking risks and business stuff and stories and, you know, a lot of people have said, well, it made me laugh and it made me cry. So I guess it worked. And the second book is more about finding the we all want the same stuff. I really believe we all want peace and contentment when we all want great relationships and we all want meaning and purpose and we all want financial stability and, and we want contentment, those sorts of things. And. But how are we getting there? And that's the big question. What are we choosing to do to get there? And some of the things we choose to do, as you and I well know, we were looking for that stuff. But if you're, if you're digging it out of a bottle or a pipe or whatever it is, you're not going to find it. And no, if I'm looking for it on social media, I'm not going to find it. The only place it is is in here. And, and so how do I, how do I go in here and discover what life really is about? And that's really what my second book is about.

[B]

That's awesome. And I'm looking forward to hearing about the third because the sequence is there and I think we've all got that. You know, I work with authors in publicity. That's my work. And what I always share with my clients is there's more than one book. You know, like the one hit wonder in music. No, you got to have an album here to leave a lasting legacy. And you all have it. It just takes a little bit more work. And it's, you know, Thomas Edison said it's 1% inspiration, 99 perspiration. You know, you got to put the elbow grease in in order to have the output. And there's a real legacy there with books. I'm a big, big fan of books. Big, big fan. It's right up my alley. We grew up with that. I like the physical feel of them and newspapers if I can find them anymore. But it's great stuff. Darrell, I have to say thank you. This ticked my box for the day to talk about recovery, talk about moving forward. And I, I'm going to read the transcript after which is great and it'll. Detail of what you talked about is getting rid of the bad, don't allow it into your life essentially. And then what's left over is the positive. Positive nuggets that will keep us going. Yeah. And why have sand? That's going to slow us down with these people.

[C]

Right.

[B]

Great stuff, great contribution and thank you. Where do they go? They can go to Amazon for your books or do they go to Daryl Ditmer.com Amazon.

[C]

You can find my books just type in either when I stop fighting or when you stop fighting and they're both there and my, my, my books can also there's links to my book on my website which is Daryl dittmer.coM-A-R-Y-L-I-T-T-M-E-R.com and I also, I have journals on my website as well which because I, I'm just a big believer in writing and I'm not one of the things I did when I was a kid was I would just, I would, I would write and, and soon after I got sober just to get all dump all the stuff out of me and dump all the, all the scary stuff out of me. So, so I provide journals on my website as well, which I think can be really helpful for people.

[B]

Well, those are great recipes for success is journaling about it. And we learned that in sobriety. It's like write about it, put it in pen and paper. Very simple. It works. This isn't a text thing. Write it.

[C]

There's something healing about that about writing, right?

[B]

Yeah, it is there.

[C]

Absolutely.

[B]

It's therapeutic and we all need that to clean house. So that's great. Daryl, thank you so much for your time today.

[C]

Thank you. Mitch. Love being on.

[A]

Thanks for tuning into the Amazing Authorities podcast. If today's episode inspired you, take a moment to subscribe rate and leave a review. It helps more experts like you rise to the top for behind the scenes access and free resources to boost your authority. Head to MitchCarson.com until next time. Stay amazing.