Podcast
The Anxious To Secure PODCAST
Hosted by Jula - The Anxious To Secure Coach · EN
Welcome to Anxious to Secure - the podcast for anyone who feels anxious in love and wants to feel calm, confident, and connected.
If you’re chasing an emotionally unavailable (Avoidant) partner…
If you’re attaching out of fear, not love…
Your relationship is running on survival mode. (I’ve been there - and it can change.) 🤍
I’m Jula: an anxious attachment coach + certified life coach.
In just 6 months, I became a more secure version of myself 🫳🏻🎤
Now I help you stop overthinking every text and feel safe, even when your partner pulls away.
If you’re tired of the doubt, panic, and never feeling enough: this is for you.
Let’s get you into your Secure Era. 🖤
32episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
115: *36 Life Lessons* about love, relationships Attachment
Jan 800:23:01Tap to summarizeThis episode is for the version of you who feels like they’re behind in life… even though they’ve already survived so much 🫂⛈ If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “I should be married by now” ➞ “Everyone else has it figured out except me” ➞ “Why do I always overthink, attach, or care more?” ➞ “Why does love feel so hard when I try so much?” This episode will land DEEP 💎🧠✨ In Part 01, I’m sharing the first 18 life lessons I’ve learned about love, anxious attachment, self-esteem, self-worth, friendships, confidence, healing, and choosing yourself. Not from books. Not from theory. From LIVING it 🖤 We start with one of the most important truths: You are not behind. Even if you’re not married. Even if you don’t have the house, the kids, or the five-year plan. Even if your life doesn’t look “right” on paper 📄🚩 You’ll hear why your brain lies to you about timelines… and how comparison keeps you disconnected from your own growth 🪞 We talk about why your brain obsesses over the ONE person who doesn’t choose you… while ignoring the people who already do 💔🎢 And how anxious attachment turns “hard to get” into “must have” 🚩 You’ll learn why everything you want already exists… and how following the right blueprint changes what feels possible for you We also get real about confidence. The difference between external confidence (looks, body, validation) and real inner confidence that doesn’t disappear when no one texts back 📱🥶 You’ll hear why anxiety isn’t proof something is wrong. It’s proof your brain THINKS something is wrong 🧠🚨 And how butterflies, nerves, and intensity are not the same as love ❤️🔥🚩 We talk about: ✣ Why doing the same thing over and over keeps you stuck ✣ Why closure doesn’t come from them, it comes from YOU ✣ How repetition literally rewires your brain and attachment style ✣ Why self-criticism trains your nervous system to feel unsafe ✣ How self-trust is built in seconds, not years There’s a powerful reminder that one day… you’ll miss the life you’re living right now 🌤🫂 Even the “boring” days. Even the messy chapters. We talk about gratitude without bypassing pain. About how modern dating and technology have changed connection. And why slowing down your nervous system matters more than getting answers 🔒🧘🏼♀️ This episode also dives into: ✣ Why postponing happiness keeps you anxious ✣ Why healing is about the DAILY habits, not the end goal ✣ Why forcing love never creates safety ✣ Why anxious attachment is NOT your personality ✣ How abandonment wounds make you chase reassurance instead of safety And one of the biggest shifts: If you’ve abandoned yourself long enough, others will too. Over-giving isn’t love. It’s fear wearing a cute outfit 🫂🚩 This episode is a mirror 🪞 Not to shame you. But to remind you who you are beneath the anxiety 💎 Listen if you want to: ➞ stop chasing reassurance ➞ stop overthinking texts ➞ stop feeling “too much” ➞ and start building real emotional safety within yourself Because healing doesn’t start with fixing your partner. It starts with choosing yourself. Again. And again. And again 🖤✨ 🎧 After listening, tell me: Which lesson hit you in the chest the most? And which one are you ready to LIVE next? Lots of love 🫶 I see you. And I’ll see you in Part 02 ✨🎙 👇 RESOURCES 👇 💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety 💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop 🖤 About me I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨ 💌 Work with me ➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk CHAPTER: 00:00 Celebrating 36 Years: A Journey of Lessons 01:15 lesson 01 03:36 lesson 02 04:18 lesson 03 05:18 lesson 04 06:17 lesson 05 07:19 lesson 06 07:47 lesson 07 08:12 lesson 08 08:55 lesson 09 09:58 lesson 10 11:29 lesson 11 13:59 lesson 12 16:12 lesson 13 17:06 lesson 14 17:34 lesson 15 18:05 lesson 16 19:38 lesson 17 20:52 lesson 18 DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
Transcribe →114: Why affirmations can make you MORE anxious or simply don't work (for love, relationships, secure attachment))
Jan 600:33:39Tap to summarizeWhy do affirmations sometimes make you MORE anxious instead of calm? 🌪 Why do they feel fake… forced… or even triggering? 🧨 And why do you end up overthinking MORE after saying them? 🧠💭 If you’ve ever thought: ➞ “Affirmations don’t work for me.” ➞ “I feel worse after saying them.” ➞ “They just make me more aware of my fears.” You’re not broken 🫂 You’re not doing it wrong 🖤 Your brain is just doing EXACTLY what it’s designed to do 🔒🧠 In this episode, I explain why most affirmations don’t work for anxious attachment — and how they can actually strengthen your abandonment fears, texting anxiety, and relationship overthinking 🚩 You’ll learn: ✨ Why your brain hears fear words FIRST ✨ Why repeating affirmations without feeling them backfires ✨ Why big “I am secure” statements get rejected ✨ Why timing matters more than repetition ✨ Why your BODY must feel safe before your mind believes And then I walk you through a simple 5-step action plan to make affirmations ACTUALLY work — in real life, in real relationships, during real triggers 💪🏽🖤 This is for you if: ➞ You overthink texts 📱 ➞ You panic when there’s space or silence 🌪 ➞ You feel needy, clingy, or “too much” 🩹 ➞ You want secure attachment but don’t know how to get there 🗝 No fluff. No toxic positivity. No lying to your nervous system. Just attachment-safe tools that calm your body, rewire your brain, and help you feel steady inside yourself 🔒✨ CHAPTERS: 00:00 Understanding Affirmations and Attachment Anxiety 01:03 Why changing your limiting beliefs is important to becoming securely attached 02:28 01. The brain hears words literally 05:10 02. Repeating without feeling doesn’t work 10:28 03. You affirmations are NOT believable 13:46 04. You're not repeating it in the RIGHT moment 17:11 05. Aligning Actions with Affirmations 20:02 How to become secure with coaching 23:23 5 Steps how to make affirmations work for love, secure attachment and self-esteem 32:05 Bottom line 👇 RESOURCES 👇 💎 Courses ✨ Stop FINALLY Obsessing Over Texts ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textanxiety 💛 Free Stuff – 30+ resources Free Attachment Library ➞ https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach/shop 🖤 About me I’m Jula, an attachment style coach. I help women heal trust issues, stop chasing, and build secure love ✨ 💌 Work with me ➞ All offers: https://tr.ee/PInPmy WhatsApp Coaching ➞ https://www.julanoelle.com/textandtalk DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
Transcribe →33: Identifying Your 2 Unmet Needs: The Secret to Stop Self-Sabotage (PART 02)
Mar 20, 202500:29:10Tap to summarizeFREE Discover YOUR top 2 UNMET Relationship Needs (to stop sabotage) https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs Discover Why You're Secretly Sabotaging Your Relationships Are you always in your head about your relationship? Constantly checking their texts or feeling anxious when they don't reply right away? You're not alone! This episode reveals how your unmet relationship needs are secretly causing your relationship anxiety and self-sabotage. You'll discover why you might be overthinking texts, feeling disconnected, or constantly seeking reassurance from your partner. I'll guide you through identifying your top 2-3 core needs using Tony Robbins' framework and show you exactly which needs are most common for anxious attachers. By the end, you'll understand how childhood wounds created your current relationship patterns and why you might be unconsciously outsourcing your needs to your partner. Plus, you'll learn practical ways to fulfill these needs yourself instead of falling into the trap of neediness, overgiving, or relationship anxiety. No more running on autopilot - it's time to take control of your relationship needs and stop the self-sabotage cycle for good! NEEDS YOUTUBE PLAYLIST: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkaamihHgLaFfdgyQop04JLSaW9_onIVE ON SALE Attachment 101 Master Guide only 7 EURO. (Anxious spin to Secure within) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/101 TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner (4 Steps) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse GRAB MY ANXIOUS TO SECURE BLUEPRINT COURSE! Get on the waitlist for exclusive early-bird pricing! https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/blueprint PRIVATE COACHING Ready to Heal Your Anxious Attachment to detach for good? Book A free Call to check if we are a good match: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/coaching FREE 3 min QUIZ: 3-Min Attachment Style Quiz https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz 🎧 WHAT WE'RE COVERING: 00:00 Understanding Unmet Needs in Relationships 02:01 Signs You're Outsourcing Your Needs to Your Partner 03:43 How Childhood Wounds Create Unmet Needs in Adulthood 05:59 The 6 Core Needs (Discover YOURS) 07:51 CORE NEED 01: Certainty 08:51 CORE NEED 02: Variety 10:11 CORE NEED 03: Significance 11:10 CORE NEED 04: Connection + Love 12:01 CORE NEED 05: Growth 14:26 CORE NEED 06: Contribution 15:26 The Top 3 Unmet Core Needs for an Anxious Attachment Style 18:46 How Unmet Needs Drive Self-Sabotage 20:08 If Your Biggest Need is CERTAINTY... 22:44 If Your Biggest Need is CONNECTION... 23:39 If Your Biggest Need is SIGNIFICANCE... 25:52 How to Fulfil your needs 26:44 Your SHORT CUT to identify YOUR top 2 UNMET core needs 27:56 Quick Summary of your UNMET core Needs This is Part 2 of my relationship needs series! In Part 1, we already debunked the myth that you're "too needy" and learned how to identify healthy vs unhealthy needs. DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action. #relationshipneeds #unmetneeds #attachmentstyle #anxiousattachment #selfsabotage #relationshipanxiety #emotionalneeds #childhoodwounds
Transcribe →32: Am I too needy? Healthy Needs vs. 🚩Unhealthy Needs: What's the Difference? (PART 01)
Mar 18, 202500:27:21Tap to summarizeFREE: Find your Core Unmet Relationship needs: https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/needs Attachment Library: 25+ resources https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach HEALTHY VS UNHEALTHY NEEDS IN A RELATIONSHIP: Am I Too Needy? What's the Difference? Ever wondered "am I too needy in my relationship" or "am I asking for too much"? In this episode, I break down the EXACT difference between Healthy vs Unhealthy Needs in a Relationship so you can stop questioning yourself and start feeling secure! Part 1 of my "Meet Your Relationship Needs" series where I help you transform your relationship with needs. Watch all 8 parts in the playlist below! Am I too needy in my relationship? This comprehensive guide on Healthy vs Unhealthy Needs in a Relationship is exactly what you've been searching for to understand the difference between reasonable vs unreasonable relationship needs. What You'll Learn: Why having needs is NOT needy (it just makes you human!) The complete guide to Healthy vs Unhealthy Needs in a Relationship How to identify if your needs are reasonable vs unreasonable relationship needs 7 powerful journaling prompts to check if your needs come from security or fear If you've been told you're "too sensitive" or you've pushed someone away because of anxious attachment, this video will help you understand what's really happening beneath the surface. Healthy Needs vs. Unhealthy Needs: The Key Differences Learn to distinguish between core needs that support emotional safety and fear-based demands that create anxious-avoidant traps. Discover how unmet needs in relationships create unrealistic expectations that damage connection. This episode is perfect for anyone struggling with anxious attachment who wants to break free from the anxious-avoidant relationship cycle! NEEDS YOUTUBE PLAYLIST: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkaamihHgLaFfdgyQop04JLSaW9_onIVE Coming Up in Part 2 (don't miss out on it) Discover your 3 unmet needs secretly driving your relationship behaviors. This is where everything starts to click for anxious attachers! ON SALE Attachment 101 Master Guide only 7 EURO. (Anxious spin to Secure within) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/101 TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner (4 Steps) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse GRAB MY ANXIOUS TO SECURE BLUEPRINT COURSE! Get on the waitlist for exclusive early-bird pricing! https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/blueprint PRIVATE COACHING Ready to Heal Your Anxious Attachment to detach for good? Book A free Call to check if we are a good match: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/coaching FREE 3 min QUIZ: 3-Min Attachment Style Quiz https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns. Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action.
Transcribe →31: 4 STEPS: How to DETACH yourself from someone you love the MOST
Mar 13, 202500:35:27Tap to summarize🔓 4 STEPS: How to DETACH yourself from someone you love the MOST | Stop the obsession & reclaim your power 🔓 Discover how to DETACH yourself from someone you love the MOST through these proven 4 steps. If you're constantly obsessing over someone, checking their social media, and feeling anxious when they don't respond, this episode is for YOU. I'm sharing guaranteed ways to emotionally detach that have transformed my life and my clients' relationships. These guaranteed ways to emotionally detach will help you break free from attachment without losing your ability to love. When you learn how to DETACH yourself from someone you love the MOST, you'll finally escape the endless cycle of anxiety, overthinking, and emotional dependency. In this deeply personal episode, I share my 30-year journey from anxious attachment to emotional freedom, with relationship advice for women and relationship advice for men seeking to heal. These 4 powerful steps will help you stop obsessing over him/her and start reclaiming your own life. The truth? When you DETACH yourself from someone you love the MOST, you actually become more attractive! I'll show you exactly how to emotionally detach without shutting down your heart. 🔑 WHAT YOU'LL LEARN: 8 hidden reasons why you can't let go of someone you love How to DETACH yourself from someone you love while still being open to love 4 guaranteed ways to emotionally detach and rebuild your self-trust The secret to stop obsessing over someone who doesn't value you How to transform anxious attachment into secure confidence Why detachment is actually the key to re-attracting an avoidant 📘 GRAB MY ANXIOUS TO SECURE BLUEPRINT COURSE! 🔐 Get on the waitlist for exclusive early-bird pricing https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/blueprint 🎁 FREE RESOURCES: ⭑ Attachment Library: 25+ resources https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach ⭑ 3-Min Attachment Style Quiz https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz ⭑ Relationship Anxiety Flowchart https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow 📢 ON SALE 📢 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤 only 7 EURO. (👀 Anxious spin to Secure within) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/101 🖤 TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety 🖤 STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner (4 Steps) https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse 🖤 Ready to Heal Your Anxious Attachment to detach for good? 🖤 Book A free call to check if we are a good match: https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/coaching CHAPTERS: 00:00 Intro: How to DETACH yourself from someone you love the MOST 02:23 Quick Intro of who I am 04:52 The 4 Steps to Emotional Detachment 04:58 STEP 01: UNDERSTANDING WHY YOU'RE ATTACHED (7 Reasons) 05:03 Reason #1: You put them on a PEDESTAL 05:45 Reason #2: You have NEGATIVE BIAS in REVERSE 07:20 Reason #3: You've never learned to fulfill your OWN needs 12:28 Reason #4: You believe safety comes from OUTSIDE, not WITHIN 14:19 Reason #5: You lack SELF-TRUST 14:51 Reason #6: You're caught in REPETITION 16:25 Reason #7: You're obsessed with CONTROL 19:34 Reason #8: You've created a FALSE REALITY 21:26 STEP 2: CHALLENGE YOUR BELIEFS 24:23 STEP 03: MEET YOUR OWN NEEDS 24:56 01. Give yourself what you need FIRST 27:08 02. Create MORE sources to meet your needs 29:03 STEP 04: ALIGNED ACTIONS 29:52 How detach FAST 33:55 Remember this... Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action. DISCLAIMER: I'm not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It's not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Transcribe →30: I was the 🚩RED flag in my relationship: 10 raw Lessons I Learned as an ANXIOUS Partner
Mar 10, 202500:24:04Tap to summarize📘 GRAB MY ANXIOUS TO SECURE BLUEPRINT COURSE! 🔐 Get on the waitlist (link below) for exclusive early-bird pricing! https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/blueprint 🔍 Are you struggling with relationship red flags and don't know why your relationships keep “failing” or feel unfulfilling? In this deeply personal episode, I pull back the curtains on something most people don't want to admit - sometimes WE are the red flag in our anxious-avoidant relationships. As an anxious partner for 30 years, I understand the painful cycle of anxiety, overthinking, and relationship insecurity that comes with an anxious attachment style in relationships. Do you experience these anxious attachment patterns? You're constantly fishing for compliments, analyzing every mood shift as a sign something's wrong, turning silence into evidence of abandonment, and never quite believing your partner's reassurance. If this sounds familiar, you might be an anxious partner in an anxious-avoidant relationship dynamic! This episode is specifically for YOU! 💕 I share how I transformed from an anxious partner plagued by relationship red flags into someone with a secure attachment style. Through understanding the anxious-avoidant trap and healing my core wounds, I've helped hundreds of clients break free from these painful relationship patterns too. Discover what happens in the anxious partner's mind during the "chase" (a trauma response!), learn why anxious attachment style in relationships creates such intense emotions, and understand the anxious-avoidant relationship dance that keeps you stuck. I break down how to recognize anxious attachment behaviors, heal relationship red flags you might be creating, and transform your relationships from chaotic to calm and secure. GRAB MY ANXIOUS TO SECURE BLUEPRINT COURSE! 🔐 👉 Get on the waitlist (link below) for exclusive early-bird pricing! 7 Powerful Journaling Prompts to STOP Being the Red FLAG in Your Relationship📝✨ What's my biggest fear? 😱 What are three reasons I continue to act despite this fear? 🤔 If I weren't afraid of losing my partner or feeling like I'm not good enough, how would this change the way I show up in my relationship? ❤️🔥 Where am I putting too much focus on things I can't control? 🌪 What do I need to give myself in order to feel more secure? 🔐 What do I need to release or let go of to move forward? 🕊️ If I knew for sure that I would be happy and loved, how would I show up differently in my relationship and life? 🌟 START HERE (ON SALE🔥) 🖤 Check out my Attachment 101 Master Guide https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/101 📘 GRAB MY ANXIOUS TO SECURE BLUEPRINT COURSE! 🔐 Get on the waitlist (link below) for exclusive early-bird pricing! https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/blueprint 🎁 FREE STUFF: ⭑ Attachment Library: 25 plus resources https://linktr.ee/the.anxious.to.secure.coach ⭑Youtube (@theanxioustosecurecoach): Say hi and watch the episodes as videos https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d5wSeO1Nhjo&list=PLkaamihHgLaGB8Cui2BEQqnZDO5jK2GYf&index=4 ⭑ 3-Min Attachment Style Quiz https://themarriagecoach.outgrow.us/attachmentstyle3mquiz ⭑ Relationship Anxiety "he doesn't reply" Flowchart https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/flow 🎓 MINI COURSES 🖤 TEXT ANXIETY Mini-Course: Stop Obsessing Over Text in 27 days or less https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textanxiety 🖤 Stop Overthinking Your Relationship With Your Avoidant Partner in 4 Steps https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/overthinkingcourse ✨ 1:1 SUPPORT ✨ 🖤 Ready to become more SECURE? https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/coaching 🖤 Text and Talk Your Secure Attachment Coach—Right in Your Pocket! https://www.the-marriage-coach.com/textandtalk 📖 CHAPTERS: 00:00 Relationship Red Flags Intro 01:37 Why this is NOT about Shaming or Blaming Yourself 02:51 10 Red Flag Relationship Lessons 02:56 Lesson 1: Believing Relationships Should Be 50:50 05:21 Lesson 2: Pushing "Healing" onto my partner and others 07:24 Lesson 3: The Endless Chase: A Trauma Response 09:51 Lesson 4: Reacting to Conflict Like It's a Crisis 12:42 Lesson 5: Not Trusting Myself (or the Relationship) 13:30 Lesson 6: Letting Fear and Anxiety Control My Actions 16:19 Lesson 7: Mistaking Intensity for Intimacy 17:55 Lesson 8: Ignoring My Core Wound Patterns 19:13 Lesson 9: Failing to Set Loving Boundaries 20:04 Lesson 10: Creating an Atmosphere of Criticism Instead of Appreciation 21:38 The Ripple Effect of Healing 23:28 7 Journaling Prompts to STOP being a Red Flag in Your Relationship #AnxiousAttachment #RelationshipRedFlags #AttachmentTheory #AnxiousPartner #AnxiousAvoidantRelationship Remember: Change in your relationship starts with YOU, thought by thought and action by action. DISCLAIMER: I’m not a therapist or doctor. This content is for informational and entertainment purposes only. It’s not intended to diagnose, treat, or heal any mental health conditions. This is not meant for situations involving abusive relationships of any kind. Always seek professional advice for personal health concerns.
Transcribe →29: WATCH THIS before you CHASE your partner's VALIDATION: 7 Powerful Steps to STOP Being Insecure in Relationships
Mar 6, 202500:24:23Tap to summarizeAre you a CHASER and your partner is ESCAPING (= pulling away and withdrawing)? Then... WATCH THIS before you CHASE your partner's validation: 7 POWERFUL Steps to STOP Being Insecure in Relationships 🔥 Because if you need a lot of approval, validation or reassurance... then we need to talk. THIS will trigger your (Avoidant) Partner's Core wounds of "help I'm losing independence" Do you worry you're not good enough? This video reveals the exact process to break free from relationship insecurity once and for all. I share my personal journey from constant validation-seeking to genuine confidence, including how gaining 20 kilos unexpectedly transformed my relationship with myself. Learn why your attachment patterns are sabotaging your connections and pushing partners away. The 7-Step Insecurity Neutralizer that actually works: Identify your specific triggers 🔍 Recognize your attachment patterns 🏷️ Connect to your past wounds 🔗 Challenge your limiting beliefs 🤔 Reframe your self-worth narrative 📝 Anchor yourself with positive emotions 🌬️ Take aligned action instead of seeking approval 👣 Discover why avoidant partners pull away when you chase validation and how to create a healthy dynamic instead. This isn't about temporary confidence fixes—it's about permanent transformation from insecurity to genuine self-worth. LIBRARY Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc) 📢 ON SALE 📢 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within) TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less (it's never about the text..)Mini Course: STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner in 4 STEPS Mini Course: FREE STUFF 🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within Stop Chasing Reassurance in 4 Steps #howtoStopbeinginsecure #StopChasingValidation #AttachmentTheory #SelfWorth
Transcribe →28: How to Stop Being JEALOUS & COMPARING Yourself (Social Media, His Ex, TV & More) Around Your AVOIDANT Partner
Mar 5, 202500:25:12Tap to summarizeTake my Free 3 MIN Attachment Style QUIZ Now. Are you struggling with relationship insecurity and worried your partner is comparing YOU to women on screen or in real life? I've got you. In this episode of the Anxious to Secure Podcast, discover the ROOT CAUSES of jealousy and comparison that nobody talks about! Learn why you feel triggered by social media, his ex, or perfect bodies on TV, and how to FINALLY overcome these painful emotions. and why jealousy NOT about your partner or the women...and more about YOU and your anxious attachment style. This episode features a vulnerable listener question about dealing with PTSD and anxiety related to watching romantic tv scenes with her boyfriend. She shares her past trauma and distrust with a partner who hid watching adult content and her Christian upbringing that taught men "couldn't control their thoughts." Now she fears her current partner will compare her to women on TV despite his reassurance. I share transformative insights on: Why jealousy reveals YOUR unworthiness wounds (not your partner's behavior) How to stop comparing yourself to other women and break free from competition Practical techniques to be more secure and confident in your relationship Overcoming insecurity and building unshakable self-worth Developing an abundance mindset that ends the comparison trap Setting healthy boundaries with an avoidant partner Healing the anxious attachment patterns fueling your jealousy Strategies to stop feeling jealous and insecure around your partner or other women Breaking the cycle of comparing yourself to his ex, people on tv or social media If you're tired of feeling jealous, insecure, and constantly comparing yourself to others on social media or in real life, this episode is your roadmap to freedom. Learn how to transform jealousy into self-love and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Perfect for anyone with an anxious attachment style who wants to feel more secure, confident, and worthy in their relationships. Stop letting jealousy control your emotions and sabotage your happiness! LIBRARY Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc) 📢 ON SALE 📢 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within) TEXT ANXIETY - How to STOP obsessing over their text in 21 days or less (it's never about the text..)Mini Course: STOP OVERTHINKING Your Relationship with your AVOIDANT Partner in 4 STEPS Mini Course: FREE STUFF 🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within
Transcribe →27: How to Heal your 🖤 Anxious Attachment style (FAST) - Part 2
Feb 27, 202500:30:59Tap to summarize🖤 How to HEAL Your Anxious Attachment Style (PART 2) | From Anxious to Secure Attachment You loved Part 1 SO much (our most downloaded episode ever!) and I know you've been waiting for this one... In this episode, I'm sharing: The ONE shift that stops the anxiety spiral ✨ Why it's so hard to stop depending on others (and what actually works) How your brain can literally rewire for security 3 real habits that changed everything for me 🖤 Plus: The eye-opening moment in my tiny London apartment that made me realize why focusing on my partner was keeping me stuck This one's for you if: You're anxiously attached and over it You can't feel okay unless they're okay You want real change, not just band-aids You're ready to choose yourself 🤍 Plus: My story about finally understanding my anxious attachment (and what changed everything) If you're ready to stop feeling anxious and start feeling secure, this one's for you 🤍 Readyyy? For YOU: Say Hi On YOUTUBE + Request topics: @theanxioustosecurecoach Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc) 📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within) 🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 25 free resources and worksheets... Take my Free 3 MIN Attachment Style QUIZ Now. Chapters: 00:00 How to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style (FAST) Part 2 00:27 How I healed my Anxious Attachment Style 5 Years Ago 00:56 The One Focus Area for Shifting Your Attachment Style: From Them to You 01:36 How long does it take to Heal Your Anxious Attachment Style? 02:50 The One Focus Area for Shifting Your Attachment Style: From Them to You 06:06 How to DETACH emotionally and WHY it's SO HARD 08:53 Why Repetition and Emotion Are the Key to Shifting Your Attachment Style 15:39 The One Focus Area for Shifting Your Attachment Style: From Them to You 18:16 Building 3 Habits for Secure Attachment 22:48 Thought habits 22:50 Transforming Thoughts and Emotions 24:36 Emotional Habit: Process Your Emotions ⚡ 26:37 Action Habit: Set Boundaries and Express Yourself 🌈 29:25 Final Words
Transcribe →26: Why Your Partner seems 'Too Busy' and doesn’t make time for YOU (What do to)
Feb 25, 202500:31:28Tap to summarizeTake my Free 3 MIN Attachment Style QUIZ Now. Why Your Partner SEEMS 'Too Busy' and doesn’t make time for you (WHAT do to) and you not feel like a priority? Been there "healed" that! You're giving it your ALL, but your partner seems more interested in... well, everything else? 🤔 Their phone 📱, video games 🎮, friends 👥 - while you're left wondering why a simple coffee date feels impossible to plan? ☕ Based on YOUR messages and DMs this week (thank you for sharing! 🙏), I knew we needed to talk about this. In today's Anxious to Secure PODCAST episode for everyone who wants to neal their anxious attachment style I'm sharing something that completely changed how I view "busy" partners (and honestly, it might surprise you). 🤯 we go deep into attachment theory, core wounds..not just about Anxious Attachment but also in understanding your Avoidants Partners style much deeper... Because that pit in your stomach when they choose PlayStation over quality time? I've been there, and what I discovered changed everything. ✨ If you're tired of: Feeling like an afterthought in their schedule ⏰ Getting the "boring" version while their friends get the fun side 😕 Watching them scroll on their phone while you crave connection 💔 ...then what I'm about to share might be exactly what you need to hear. 🎯 This isn't about making them change - it's about understanding what's really going on (hint: it has nothing to do with your worth! ) and how to feel secure even when they need space. 🦋 Join me to discover the FARE framework that transformed my relationship from anxiety to security in just 6 months. ⭐ Because you deserve to feel like a priority, without the constant overthinking. 💫 Love, Jula Your Anxious to Secure Relationship Coach for ambitious Overthinkers. Attachment ✎ᝰ.Self-Study Vault 🫶🏻❤️🩹 (worksheets, guides, downloads, etc) 📢 ON SALE: 🖤 Attachment 101 Master Guide 🖤(👀 Anxious spin to Secure within) 🎧💌📖 FREE COURSE: How to stop overthinking in Your relationships 21 WAYS to download the 🙋🏼♀️21 WAYS to STOP Abandoning yourself The Worry-Free Flow-Chart for Relationship Anxiety Self Esteem KIT to learn to be GOOD ENOUGH, lovable and worthy from within
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