Zing Singh (0:00)

This BBC podcast is supported by ads outside the uk. I'm Zing Singh. And I'm Simon Jack. And together we host Good Bad Billionaire, the podcast exploring the lives of some of the world's richest people. In the new season, we're setting our sights on some big names. Yep. LeBron James and Martha Stewart, to name just a few. And as always, Simon and I are trying to decide whether we think they're good, bad or just another billionaire. That's Good. Bad Billionaire from the BBC World Service. Listen now, wherever you get your BBC Podcasts, BBC Sounds Music Radio podcasts. You're listening to the Archers Omnibus from BBC Radio 4. Rochelle. Oh, hi. Yeah, you can't get through there. Sorry, Freddie, I was wanting the canteen. Yeah, it's the other way. It's cold in that packing room. Yeah, it's cold in most places here. Yeah, it's my break now, so I was just hoping to warm up. That's right, yeah. No, this goes through to the Lair Ridge. Oh, right. Oh, that's where the animals are kept. Yep. Before slaughter. Yeah, well remembered. Thanks. But it is one of our restricted areas. Ah, I get it. Yeah. Only staff with a reason to be in there can access it. That's why my password will work. Exactly. I'm actually on my way to get some lunch now, as it happens. Are you? So, if you like, I can show you the way. Oh, my hero. This place is a complete maze. It took me quite a while to get used to it. I bet. But I will get it sorted in me mind soon. I'm sure you will, in fact. Yeah. Is there some sort of floor plan I could take a look at? First of the day, always the best. Why? Even though it's Sunday, I'm not going to go mad, mind. Oh, as if. Tracy's at nets later, so I'm cooking the tea Nats On a Sunday? Aye. Well, as well as midweek. Or instead, as well as. Oh, Freddy and Lily are cracking the whip. First match in the new division next weekend. I'm well aware of that. Pushing for maximum commitment. I suppose if the season had started, everyone would be turning out today to play. That's the thinking. So I'm told. I was disappointed losing my place in the squad, but to be fair, I'd have found it very hard to keep up with this sort of training schedule. We need you here, Julian. Testing at the pints and the good cheer. Well, nice to be appreciated, I guess. Is that what you're planning to cook? Casserole, roast and all the trimmings. Nachos for Sunday dinner, big pile of tortilla chips, 10 of chili tin, couple of jars of toppings of cheese. What's Bert going to think of that? You have what he's given. Okay, that was inconvenient. The sh's going off just as we started to serve. Well, I don't know. Better now than when it really gets busy. Oh yeah, you make a fair point as usual, my sweet. Yeah, what a creep. Do you want to hear some bad news? Oh, not really. You know Edley Morris are meant to be dancing on the Green next week. Easter Sunday. Meant to be? They've cancelled. They got a nasty stomach bug. All of them. Apparently it's run right through the old side. I'll bet it has, Jazzer. Is that it? What, bad news? No. Great loss anyhow. I mean, there's plenty of other stuff going on. The English pastime, the egg hunt, Egg rolling? No. Oh, lots to bring the punters in. No, it's not that. Oh, they were booked in here afterwards, were they? For Easter Sunday lunch. How many of them? Well, all the dancers, three Musicians, friends and family. I didn't realize. Well, that's how I even know about it. Their squire rang to cancel. Very apologetic. He sounded dreadful. But he wanted to give us as much notice as possible. So how many covers are we talking? Over 30. Yeah, fair enough. That is bad news on a day we're usually full to burst in. No great look either. Half empty on Easter Sunday. Yeah, thanks, Jazza. So we've got a week to drum up a pile of trade. So how did you come to be working in an abattoir then, of all places? No. Well, I sort of. I hope you don't mind us saying, but it's not the sort of place I'd expect to find a fellow, you know, like you. A posh boy, you mean? If you want to put it like that. Freddie. Don't worry. Plenty of people have. And I do know what you mean. It's actually all down to Vince. My life. Well, there was a time when things weren't exactly going to plan. Uh huh. Yeah, I got myself in a real hole entirely of my own making. Most employers wouldn't have given me the time of day, let alone a job. Sounds serious. Well, it was, Rochelle. But despite that, Vince thought I had something to offer. And he gave you a chance. For which I'll be forever grateful. It hasn't always been easy here, but I've. Well, I've tried to do my best. And I hope I've justified his faith. Sounds familiar. Vince gave me a chance, too. And that's not always been the story of my life. No. Maybe you and I are more alike than we seem. Maybe. Although, don't get me wrong, I do know just how privileged I am. You know, no matter how bad things have been, I've always had a lot to fall back on. That must be nice. I'm actually very lucky. Freddie. Yes? You know Vince gave us those leaflets about training to become one of the boners. Do you think I could spend some time in there with them? Observing, like? Get more of a feel for what the job involves in me own time, I mean. Yeah, well, I'm not saying it's impossible, but. Well, it's maybe a bit early. You know, you're only still in your first week. I know, but maybe give it a month or so and then, you know, if you're still interested, come and talk to me again about it. Okay. Thanks. I mean, it's great that you're so keen to advance. Oh, I am, yeah. If I can get some decent money coming in, I could get me own place with spare bedrooms so the kids could come and stay. I can see where you'd want that. Get out from me mams, which I have noticeably failed to do. Oh, you're a lot younger than me, Freddie. But I don't like having to rely on her at my age. Well, like I say, in a few weeks time. Sure. I better get back to the office. No, thanks for the chat. Yeah, you're welcome. I'll see you at Nets. Oh, I'll be there. Strangely enough, my hours today fit in perfectly with this session. How convenient, isn't it? Of course, it's a complete coincidence that me boss is also the cricket captain. Could we maybe get on local radio? Advertise, you mean? No, I was thinking for free. Get interviewed about something. Like what? I don't know. Easter traditions. And then we could slip in a mention of our famous Easter Sunday lamb roast. Yeah, which they'd cut out because it's an obvious shameless plug. Not if it was a live interview. Yeah, but why should Radio Borsetshire talk to us about Easter traditions, huh? They go to a local history bar, not a publican. Yeah, I guess so. Nice. Why not just keep it simple? Offer a big discount? What, on the dinners? No, people love a bargain. Especially nowadays when they're counting the pennies. Look, we want to be making a decent profit, not just covering our costs. And Easter Sunday is one of our golden days. Yeah, it's like Valentine's and Mother's Day. Yeah, that's when we make the money that sees us through the wet Wednesdays, when it's just Derek Fletcher and his dominoes in here. We need to be selling everything at full price. And I can just imagine what Fallon would say. Oh, yeah. I mean, her food's so good, we shouldn't have to discount it to get people in. Okay, fair enough. I withdraw my suggestion. No, what we need is some sort of added attraction. An extra reason for people to turn out and book a meal. Of course. What? I've got it. Okay, I'm going to aim this one to bounce further away from you. So that'll be the backward defensive. Exactly. Which means I'll need to lift the bat more. Yeah, because of the higher bounds, but still straight up and down. I got it, fatty. Oh, and don't forget the little step back. Ready? Go on, then. That was excellent, Rochelle. You got your front elbow nice and high that time. And you see, by not following through, it just sort of kills it. Yeah, and obviously that means it's not a scoring shot. When we played at school, it was all pretty basic, but I'm starting to see the subtleties now. Yeah, and obviously it's important to have a good repertoire of strokes and develop good technique. But the real challenge is analysing the flight of the ball so you can use the right stroke in response. Easier said than done. Well, indeed. Every delivery is different and you usually have less than a second to make up your mind. But no, no, you've made really good progress already. I mean, if you play and practice regularly, it'll start to become instinctive. I reckon I owe you a drink, Freddie. We are going to the pub after. Well, I think we all deserve it, don't you? Hey, yeah, that's all gone through. We'll bring the food over as soon as it's ready. Where the heck have you been? I'm sorry, love. It took a bit longer than I expected. A bit? What have you got there? A load of old bells, A load of old Summer. You know, the sort that Morris dancers strap around their ankles. Kenton, this is how we're going to save Easter Sunday. Where do you want these? Oh, I'll take them, Rochelle. Thanks. You guys arrived just in time. Happy to help. I wish someone would tell me what's going on. The Bull is going to offer a Morris dancing experience. Yeah, I borrowed all this gear from the Ashley side. Sorry, I. I dropped them. They rolled all over the car. Oh, no worries. I expect they get a lot of punishment. Oh, Kenton. Experiences are all the rage nowadays. That's right. Especially with the youngsters. Gen Z, are they? Well, it's Gen Z, really. Sorry, but. But yes. People want to put away their screens. Exactly. Take part in something real. And they pay good money, too. How are we gonna organize a Morris? Did you take those sticks from Freddy? There you go. There you go. Oh, careful. What am I meant to do with these? Well, let's just pop them in the storeroom for now. Yeah, Come on. I'll be with you in a minute. No rush. So, what can I get you? Oh, well. Are you sure? Aye, that's it. The least I can do after all the time you've put into coaching it. Well, we'll see next Sunday if my teaching is actually worth anything. But you're obviously keen to do Well, I am. Just like at work. Hopefully you won't be in packing for too long. Fantastic. So we can charge a packet to include Easter Sunday lunch and fill all those vacant covers. Have you ever done any Morris dancing? No. Yeah. So how are you going to teach the punters to dance if you ain't got a clue yourself? I've thought of that. If this experience is no good, they're going to want their money back. And, you know, they'll go straight on social media slugging us off. Look, you've run plenty of barn dances, haven't you? Oh, no. Yeah, not to mention all that line dancing. Oh, no, no, no, no. That's country dancing. I know as much about Morris dancing as you do. Well, how different can it be? I'll be too busy with the egg hunt and the egg rolling Jolie, not to mention the small task of running a busy pub. But you're the ideal person. In your dreams, Kenton. If we're gonna do this, you'll have to find someone who knows what they're talking about, love, because it ain't gonna be me. A hose pipe through the letterbox, though. So counterproductive. Yeah, I know feelings are running high, but that's. That's not going to get our treatment works improved, is it? No. I mean, I actually think Borsich and Water have got the message now. But when you look at the size of the problem across the whole country, it's a huge task. And then add climate change on top of that. But it's their own fault. Decades of underinvestment. Oh, not denying that. But it's a commercial corporation, isn't it? With shareholders wanting returns on their investment and criticizing them for maximizing profits. You might as well be surprised when A dog chases squirrels. It's just what they do. You're surely not on their side. Oh, I'm just saying. I expect they're having to prioritize. There's whole towns that need protecting, whole cities. Maybe they feel that that's more important than a small village. Actually, only one part of the village when you think about it. No offense, Pat. I didn't mean to minimize what happened here, which was truly horrible, but I read in the Echo that Bicher Water said they're aware of the problem in Ambridge and they're treating it seriously. Oh, that's just words, Neil. What we need is action. Hello, everyone. Hiya, Joy. Oh, don't let me interrupt. Whenever you're ready. Actually, you're just in time to save me from a telling off. What? From my little girl. Oh, you're all right, dad. I'll let you off this time. Time? Joy's going to pick my brains about for YE Day. Especially the beacon on Lakey Hill. I know you've had them there before. Yeah, there was one for the 50th anniversary, wasn't there? Remember John roping in one of his girlfriends to help? That was Pat's eldest. He died, sadly. Oh, yeah, I. I did know. What's her name? Ali. Ali. There was so many, I. I need. Hard to keep track. Anyway, she arrived expecting a hot date and ended up collecting and stacking wood. Apparently he knew how to show a girl a good time. That's John. So, Joy, should we grab a table? Grand. Could you bring us some coffees, Emma? Yeah, what would you like? Large cappuccino for me, and I'll have a medium one, please. Right you are. Are we expecting Mick too? Yeah, he's on his way. And I'll pay for the coffees. Oh, no. Really? Definitely, Neil. It's your brains we'll be picking. I'm gonna send Mick over to dad when he arrives. Right. He does have a point, I suppose, your dad. What about the water companies? Yeah, but that's all the more reason to keep the pressure on. We don't want to end up permanently stuck at the bottom of a list. No. Or, of course, we could start to investigate practical ways of protecting ourselves. What do you mean? Take a look at this. Wow. How have they. They've basically dug a moat around the whole garden. Plus brick walls and a pumping system. I've seen it from the air like that, it's like they're on an island. That's what I call practical action. Or is this moat? Man, I just put the salad veg in the kitchen. Oh, right. Thanks. Have you seen this, then? Yeah, Mum showed me earlier. I know it looks impressive, but we'd have to be very careful before we went ahead with anything like that. Oh, I know, Tom. Aside from expense, anything that interfered with an existing watercourse would almost certainly be illegal. Hayden Brook runs right through here, didn't it? Remember that farmer in Herefordshire? Yeah, the one that cleared the riverbank. They sent him to prison for it. But this is different. The courts might not see it that way. Well, sometimes you have to stand up for what you believe. What are you saying? You'd be prepared to go to jail for this, would you, Emma? Do you know, I think I would. Really? If it was absolutely necessary. Are you sure? Well, you were when you trashed Brian's GM field. That was a very long time ago. I was young and, well, a lot more naive then. You don't regret doing it, do you? No, I'm not saying that. But I didn't realize the strain the trial would put on you and dad. And we know what prison's like now. From the inside. Yeah, I'm sorry, Pat, but what I've seen with George, I don't think I could go that far. And that's fine, Emma. This is all speculation anyway, so I can get back to the polytunnels without keeping an ear out to listen for police cars with sirens blaring. Yeah, today at least. That's a relief. Oh, and this is very random. Go on. Am I going mad or did dad used to be a Morris dancer? The Kenton's looking for some Morris type advice. Yeah, Tracy said. I don't think so. It's just. I'm sure I've seen an old photo of him in all the rig. Oh, I know what that was. He did a turn as a Morris dancer for a Christmas show eons ago. It was just a one off. Right, well, I'll tell Kenton. See you both. Bye. Cheers. Just between ourselves, Emma, he wasn't that brilliant at it. And I'm pretty sure he'd forgotten all the moves by the day after I do. Oh, hiya, Mick. Oh, Joy and Dad are in the window. Right you are. Tell me, are you guys still gunning for Beau? Such a water well, you could put it like that. Well, in that case, there's a guest at Grey Gables you really should meet. Who? Let me give you a clue. Jimmy. Jimmy? Jimmy. Jimmy who? No, no, his name's not Wednesday week. Sorry, Mick. A good heart. Teenage kicks, you mean for a good shark. Eh? Yes. Yes. The man's not only got a fine pair of lungs, but isn't he into all this clean water stuff now? He is, yes. He's very vocal about it. Thought so. And he's at the hotel? When I left, he was heading for the bar. You might be able to nab him there. That's a great tip off. But the timing could be better. I'm about to cover in the shop. Well, it's not that busy in here. I'm sure Chelsea could cope. Be ashamed to miss a chance like this. Yeah, I'll get over there now, thanks. Room 22. Mr. Sharket? Yes. My name's Emma, Emma Grundy. I'm sorry to bother you. Oh, don't worry. It's selfie. Is it? Sorry, what? Although I thought you look a bit young. Young? Lots of my fans, they're getting on a bit now. Oh, no, I'm not a fan. Oh, I'm so sorry. It's no bother. No, I didn't mean. It's just. That's not why I'm here. I. Why don't you tell me why you are here? Yeah, I'm part of a group. We're campaigning for improvements to the water system in the village. Ah, you had a nasty sewage problem, didn't you? Yeah, know about that. It's kind of the business I'm in now. Well, we were wondering if you could give us any advice. I'll do my best. Pull up a stool. Emma, is it? Yeah. What are you drinking? Oh, yeah. There have been plenty of beacons on Lakey Hill over the years. The Queen's Jubilees as well as that one on VE Day Pat was talking about. Elizabeth said they're quite a tradition here. You must have seen a lot of them, Neil. Well, the Silver Jubilee is the first one I can remember in 77. Yeah, it wasn't long after I'd arrived in Ambridge. The youth club built that one. Youth club? Long gone, sadly. Shame. Yeah, Youngsters around here could do with something like that. That was a good old fashioned bonfire before they put the basket up, you know, on the. Oh, yes, I've seen it up. Mike Tucker was selected to light it right there. Yeah, I have to think of Mike as a youth club member. Sorry, I'm going down memory lane. Oh, that's what this is all about, isn't it? I'm really looking forward to this exhibition in the village hall. Everyone's wartime memorabilia die Hill. Will you be going to the dawn service on Easter Day? I hope so. Not me. Really, Mick, it's beautiful up there. And a great breakfast afterwards. Nah, I went to church with Joy on Christmas morning. I don't mind singing a few carols, but I'm not religious, really. Well, you probably know Lakey Hill is part of Brookfield land. Oh, I wanted to ask you about that. So, the Brookfield archers usually play a big part in any celebration there. So we should speak to David. Yeah. Yeah, he can talk you through the logistics and all the health and safety stuff. Brilliant. It's shaping up nicely. We've even been talking about building moats and things. Although someone said that might be illegal. No, you don't want to be breaking the law. Then the story becomes about that rather than the failures of the water company. That's what we thought. But the good news is you're not alone, Emma. There are groups like yours all over the country. So what is it around here? Borsiture Water. Yes. Right. Perigle. They already know what they should be doing. You need to find ways of persuading them to do it. What do they need to do? It sounds to me like your treatment works needs an upgrade. And that has to include a fully engineered storm tank. Which is? It's like a big swimming pool. Holds back all the sewage until the works has the capacity to deal with it. Yeah, that sounds great. That was exactly the problem we had. It just couldn't cope with the amount of rain. But how do we persuade them? I guess you've done all the usual things. Marches, banners, publicity stunts. Yeah, we even had a marathon bell ringing. Well, that was a novel idea. But nothing's happened yet. How about trying a personal approach? In a small community like this, there must be someone who knows someone on the inside. Huh? Now you come to mention it. Bit of flattery, bit of guilt tripping. Yeah, it's worth a try. Definitely. Well, I wish you well with it. Thank you. But you'll have to excuse me. I've got an urgent appointment with a river. All right. And hopefully a wee trout or two. You've been so helpful, Mr. Sharkay. No problem. And if it helps, you're welcome to mention my name. Thank you. As long as it's legit. Why? Are you expecting Uncle Kenton? He's dropping off a couple of photos. The Bull in wartime. Oh, for our display? Yes. Because, of course, it would have been the local pub for the officers who were convalescing here at Lower Loxley. Wasn't there another pub nearby, the. The Cat and Fiddle? How do you know that? Well, Eddie Grundy still misses it. Well, yes, there was, but as I understand it, that was the pub for the other ranks. Sounds more like Eddie's kind of place. Freddie. Sorry, Mum. Snob, alert. How is Rochelle getting on at work? Yeah, she's made a good start. Her supervisor says she's a quick learner. It doesn't surprise me. And she's obviously keen to progress. Joy will be pleased. Pleased? She'd really like to see Rochelle more settled. Yeah, I think it's mutual. I did get the impression they've got quite a tricky relationship. Mmm. What does that mean? Do you know something? Well, even if I did, I wouldn't gossip about it. You just concentrate on work matters. What does that mean? Oh, something's come up. What sort of thing? The police got in touch yesterday. At what about passing on intel. Animal rights activists are operating in the area. And what did Vince say? He's so focused on this supermarket contract he's trying to secure. He just played the old soldier with me. What do you mean? Well, his view is that if you're in the meat business, the animal rights brigade. His words, not mine. I understand. They're just an irritating fact of life. Well, he must have had dealings with them before. I mean, Vince has been round the block a couple. Few times. Yeah. To be fair, he didn't dismiss it out of hand. He said if I was concerned, I'm welcome to do a security review, which I'm going to start today. Here you are. Yes, exactly where I said I'd be. I get confused. Is this the inner upper anti waiting room or the outer under ladies drawing room? Ah, morning, Freddy. Hey, Uncle Kenton. I'm can't stop, I'm afraid. I've got to get to work. No worries. I'll see you later. Smuggle a steak out for me, will you? That's more than my job's worth. So, do you want to see where the photos are going to go? Love to. Well, that's why I thought we'd meet here. This is where the display is being. Sorry, Chelsea. What are you doing here? I didn't mean anything by it. No, no, I'm sure you didn't. Oh. All right, Kenton? Yeah, I'm good, thanks. I was taking the inventory returns to the the office and Connor, well, he said the display was really worth a look, so. Sorry. It's not a problem. I love the old fashions, see? And these RAF uniforms. So hot. I always felt I look good in uniform. But you wore a uniform? Merchant Navy. 14 years. I never knew that. He's not RAF, though. That's an army uniform. Looks like he was a major. Yeah, that's Nigel's granddad, Alec. He was here on leave, but he went back to his unit and was killed shortly afterwards. So sad. I'd love to know who that is with him. See the chap on crutches? What? Doing the victory sign on the back of the photo. It just says Reg D. Wonder what happened to him? I wonder. We'll probably never know. Anyway, can I give you these? Yeah, thanks. I'll return them to you as soon as I've got them copied. Yes, please. Be good to get them back on the wall in time for the anniversary. Yeah, just a day or two. I expect that'll be fine. Oh, Elizabeth, before I go, do you have any contacts in the morris dancing world? Said no one ever. I have. You do. That'd be great. Yeah. Edgeley Morris. They often perform here. No, no, other than Edgeley Morris. They're all out with a stomach bug. Oh, dear. Yeah, well, I think there used to be a Brampton Green Lodge. They had a funny name, but other than that. Brampton. Right. Well, that's worth following up. Thanks, sis. I'll see you. Bye, Chelsea. Later. So is this going to be part of the wartime tour, then? Yeah. And spread it all the way through the house. Well, it'll be amazing when it's finished. I mean, it's really good already. No, you're right, and that's the problem. We want it to be as good as possible, but time's running out. What's going to go in this panel? Well, hopefully what happened to the injured officers after their stay here. Lily was going to do some more research at Borchester Library. Newspaper cuttings and so on. But revising for her finals seems to be getting in the way. Not to mention bossing the cricket team. Yes, and? Well, I haven't got the time, so I'm at a bit of a loss. Well, maybe I could do it. Oh, would you? That would be wonderful. And we'd pay you, of course. Oh, no, but I'm not a researcher or nothing. I know, but if you had the time. Well, I guess I could give it a go. Thank you so much. Okay, well, I better get back to the orangery. Elizabeth did have a suggestion. All right. Yeah. Brampton Stags and Hines. Stags and Hens. The Hinds. Hounds. Heinz. Female deer. Female deer. Going to help you. Modest. Dancing? No, they used to do it. You've lost me here, Kenton. It was a morris dancing side. A team called Brampton Stags and Hines, but they folded a few years ago. I'm not surprised. If I booked something called Stags and Hines, I wouldn't be expecting a load of bells and hankies, I can tell you. So I'm no further forward. I need us this Sunday. Any more good news for me? Just saying, Jaz, you've done a bit of country dancing, haven't you? A fair amount. I've seen you cut a fine figure over the years. Family tradition. Yeah. Kaylee's Barn dances. The McCrees are all broad dancers. So do you think you could give me a hand? Morris dancing? Yes. Are you at your tree? Well, why not? Why would I want anything to do with that Sassenach tradition? Come on, it's just a bit of fun. And Morris is nothing like Scottish dancing. Well, it is a bit. There'll be a few pints in it. For you? No, for all the ale in Bosseshire. Well, how about a meal as well? Two meals. You and Tracy. You a sort of museum. Proper meals in the restaurant? No. Three courses. How couldn't he? How about for Brad and Chelsea as well? A family meal. The whole family. I'm desperate, Jaz. We couldn't have the wins and no better. What? Alright. Yes, a meal for five, please. We've already got bookings for this thing. Okay. Yeah. Thank you. Yes. But this is going to be just between you and me, yeah? Yeah, absolutely. My fellow Scots find out about this, they'll never let me back out the border. So obviously I want to do a good job for Elizabeth. Of course you do. Especially as she's paying me. She's paying you? Yeah. Result, Chels. Yeah, but that makes it more serious. Ain't just a favor. I wish someone would pay me to sit in the library. Right. Yeah. So that's why I'm here. What do you mean? Well, plowing through dusty archives, you know, that's not really my thing. But you. It's not really my thing neither. But at least you know your way round those places. You just said you wish that someone. I didn't mean. Look, go on, Brad. I'll split the cash with you. You know how busy I am with uni work. That's why I pulled out of Eddie's high vis vest video. Yeah, well, he made a right pig's ear of that, didn't he? I heard the client ended up asking someone else to do it. I don't know what George will make of that. Anyway, Emma's got me doing this now. Yeah. What is that? Storm tank. Can't tell You. They were talking about that bridge farm yesterday. It's all hush hush. Ah, good, you're here. Not me, Brad. You do me a favor, big man. A favor? Aye. Not really. Like I was telling Chelsea, I need some info and modest dancing. Back off, Jazza. I was here first, like how to videos, and I need him for something important. This is important. There's a family meal at stake here. He's my brother. He's my stepson. If anyone has first dibs on his brain, it should be me. What if Tracy asked him? Mothers have precedent. No, they don't either. They don't. They. They don't. Stop it, both of you. Right, if I have time, after I finish this, I might be able to have a quick hunt around for Jazza. Sting. No, but. And I'm in Borchester on Thursday, so maybe I could spend an hour or two with you at the library. Chelsea. What? Thursday, late afternoon. Is a couple of hours gonna be an hour? Unless you both get out of my room right now. I'm not doing anything for either of you. Close the door on your way out. Are you alright? Yeah, just getting a breath of fresh air. Vince has rung. Well, he called you? Yes, I've been trying to reach him all day. He cancelled our lunch and asked me to pass on a message. Look, his mom's had a fall. Oh, no. She's in hospital in Birmingham. So he had to go there straight away. Yeah. Oh, poor Iris. They're doing tests at the moment, but he said not to expect him for a day or two. Yeah, well, that explains why I didn't return my calls. Urgent calls. What's up, darling? Well, you know that security review I said about this morning? Yes. I barely started it when I found a tiny camera in the lid. Like something a spy would use. Goodness. Yeah. And I've reviewed the internal cctv, but it was in a blind spot, so I couldn't even see who planted it. Well, that sounds rather alarming. Yeah, totally. It's got to be connected with that warning we got from the police. These videos are perfect. Brad. I didn't know what style of Morris dancing you wanted. You think it's best to keep it simple. And there's some pages with the moves laid out in a sort of plan too. Fantastic. Shall I send you links to everything? Aye, big man. Okay. You've done the whole family a favor there. Do you remember that when we're all talking? We're three course banquet at the Bull. I will. Just one thing. You can't say what Tmd about this. Okay. You have any already? Haven't had the chance. I've been in here all afternoon. Good. Oh, I don't know. All this confidential stuff, it'll be worth it, I promise. Right. I better start practicing. Oh, Jazzo. Hi. You're old, aren't you? Charming. Have you heard of someone called Fergal Sharkey? Of course I have. Why? Because. Oh, no, actually, forget it. I can't really say you're keeping a lot of secrets. Yeah, once you get your maths degree, you'll be a shoon for gchq. It sounds like you've had a bit of a fraught day. Yeah, you could say that. Have you heard any more about Iris? She's broken her hip. Oh, no. When Vince finally rang me back, she was about to go into surgery, poor thing. It seems it was a pretty bad break too. They're going to have to give her a new one. What, a hip replacement? Vince must be really worried. Yeah, he was, Mum. The doctors told him they do this every day, but. Yeah, it's still an operation. Yeah, under general anaesthetic. So at her age. I'll call him. I'll see if he'd like me to go over. Yeah, I think he'd appreciate it. With all of that, I. I didn't want to give him any extra worries, but I felt he needed to know about the camera. Oh, you had to tell him, Freddy. Although he actually didn't think it was anything to do with the animal rights. Really? Yeah. Reckon it was probably one of the staff planning a prank. I mean, they are a bunch of jokers in there. And even if any footage did leak, our standards are as high as anywhere in the country. He said we'd have nothing to worry about. A lot of people would still find that sort of material difficult to view, though. Yeah, it's only the layerage. To be honest, I think Vince was too concerned about Iris to properly take it in, which is understandable. Yeah, but whatever the motivation, it's still a serious breach of protocol. Yes. So by the time Vince gets back to work, I want to know who put it there and why. I'm Zing Singh. And I'm Simon Jack. And together we host Good Bad Billionaire, the podcast exploring the lives of some of the world's richest people. In the new season, we're setting our sights on some big names. Yep, LeBron James and Martha Stewart, to name just a few. And as always, Simon and I are trying to decide whether we think they're good, bad or just another billionaire. That's Good Bad Billionaire from the BBC World Service. Listen now, wherever you get your BBC podcasts. What's in here, then? A rabbit costume? Not just any rabbit. The Easter bunny. Who's gonna be wearing this? I thought you could. Chelsea. What? I reckon it's just your size. You're joking me. Say, Natasha, no. I did tell you. No way. Why not? The tea room hasn't bounced back yet. Yeah, you don't have to tell me that. And Easter's a perfect opportunity, but we need a real showstopper to get people in. What, and this is your idea of a showstopper? Me prancing around with a cloth carrot and floppy ears? Kathy Perks got a lot of mileage out of it two to three years ago. Well, that was for charity, not to support a business. It'll make no odds to the kids. They love it. Okay, Natasha, if it's such a good idea, why don't you wear it? Uh, yeah, I would like to, obviously, but sadly, I've got too many other responsibilities. Emma. No, Natasha already knows how I feel on that subject. Don't you? You were extremely clear. Well, I think that just proves my point. And we've already got plans for Easter anyway, like special cakes, free Easter treats, treasure hunt in the edible forest, which are all very well. I still think we need something bigger. Anyway. I've got to go. You okay to close up, Chelsea? Yeah, yeah, yeah, no sweat. Oh, remember your tube? I got it. And best of luck. Thanks. Give him hell. I intend to. So I definitely. Let's not go there, eh? All right. Tell you what, though, if you're looking for a big attraction. Yeah, Henry's goats. What about them? Have you seen them lately? There's at least two look fit to burst. I think the Pat's Goats, actually. Whatever. Henry just owns the buck hero. Point is, children would much rather see real baby goats than a pathetic fake rabbit. Do you know, you could be on to something there. A mummy goat with some adorable kids would make a perfect picture for our socials. Yeah, wouldn't it? Spring is springing. Yeah, you might want to work on that a bit. But when do they do? Oh, don't ask me. What a lonely word. I'm not a goat midwife. If they give birth in time, that is. And if I've counted right, you have. I can claim the rest of the tricks. You've drawn all the trumps. You know, I think I'm getting the hang of this. You're certainly improving, Brian. You still need to work on your bidding, though. All right. Well, you deal them out and we'll do what we did before you bid as my partner. And the opponents. Have you been doing the online exercises? Oh, yes. Every evening. Good. I was thinking, if I can get proficient enough, Miranda and I could enter the spring foursomes. I am joking. Martin, are you all right? Pam loved the spring foursomes. Oh, sorry. They're in Bristol this year. Her hometown. Look, I didn't mean to remind you. She won't be entering, that's for sure. Not with Dominic the dirt. That's this gardener fellow she's hooked up with. Snaps about his level. Or beggar my neighbor. Well, perhaps you need to find yourself another partner. Couldn't. How would I even find someone? There's no way I could start dating, even if I wanted to, which I don't. I meant a new bridge partner. No, it was always our thing. Pam didn't like watching rugby. I was never keen on ballet. Well, I'm with you on that. Bridge always brought us together. Well, it is a good way to meet people. Honestly, Brian, I couldn't. Not in the state I'm in. After that hose pipe through the letterbox, I don't even feel safe here in my own home. Not surprised this carpet's dry now, but it's. It's never going to be the same. Well, the smell alone and the whole floor's ruined. Well, that's what insurance is for. I suppose you'd think my fellow directors would be more sympathetic of Porsche water. Are they not? They seem to think because I live locally, I should be able to nip these protests in the bud. You know who it was, don't you? The hose pipe thing. Who? Emma Grundy and Pat Archer. Oh, no, but it's obvious, given the Grundy woman's recent run in with the police. I had words with Pat and I don't believe it was her. She has form. I know. Pat's your sister in law. No, no, it's not that. I could tell. It came as a complete surprise to her. Emma then? Or at the very least, one of that mob. Yeah. Look, Martin, given our family's recent history, I can assure you I'm no fan of Emma Grundy. But I honestly don't think it was her either. You're spending too much time on your own brooding. What you need to do is get this place spic and span. See if you can persuade Pam to try again and move on. Who's that at the front door now? I had your smart doorbell fixed then. You bet I did. I spy on anyone near my front door. I don't believe it. Who is it? Look. Only that harpy, Emma Grundy. I told you, didn't I? Oh, they really do look ready to pop. Well, because they're close to kidding, Henry and I have separated them out into these individual pens. Oh, look at that one. She'll be first I reckon. How close though? Pads? Sorry? How close to kidding? Certainly imminent. Can I make it clear that the only reason I haven't called the police to have you hauled away in chains is because Brian persuaded me not to. And I still reserve that right. Look, I'm sure there'll be no need for this, those sorts of measures, will there Emma? No, definitely. I ain't come here for a fight. Why have you come here at all? I've got a plan. I think I've found a way to resolve this peacefully. You have? Yeah. Me. Because I might as well be honest with you. Pat feels very differently about this. Does she know? Yeah, she's really on the war path. She wants to take it to the next level. What does that mean? The other day she was talking about digging a moat around Bridge Farm. A moat? Well I can't see that that'd be practical. Oh, and you can imagine the publicity. How would it look for Boiswicher Water if their customers feel so unsafe they gotta barricade themselves in. It'd be a long running storage certainly. And you're right Brian, it might not even work. But there is something that will definitely work. What's that? What have you got there? Pat's plans. Is it all right if we put them on the table? Let me get these cards out of the way. See for yourself. Ambridge Borsetshire Sewage containment storm tank. It's like a big swimming pool. It holds back sewage until the treatment works has the capacity to deal with it. I know what it is. Pat and Tony are intending to build this themselves. The way Pat sees it, they've got no other option. But this could get them in serious trouble with the law. Pat knows that. I don't think she cares. She's so upset by what happened to the farm the other day she told me if it was necessary she'd go to prison. So yeah, that'd be even worse publicity. Sending a 70 year old pillar of the community to jail. No one wants to see that. But like I said, there is an alternative. Which is what? Mr. Gibson, you are a powerful man. Influential. Surely you could persuade the other directors that Borsucha Water should be building this. Pat's really angry, but she just wants to protect the village. So if she knew you were going ahead, then all the protesting would stop. That's an interesting idea. And there's been another development. Go on. Fergal Sharkey. Have you heard of him? Of course. Anyone with anything to do with water has. He's our spokesperson now. What? I had a meeting with him on Monday. Which means it won't just be local publicity. He's got a national voice. I don't like being threatened. Emma. I'm not threatening you. It's the opposite. I'm showing you the way out. But I do have to warn you that Pat's already organizing the diggers. Diggers? So you do need to get cracking. Who are you to tell me what to do? You're nothing but a terrorist. No respectable business is safe nowadays from you citizen activists targeting honest people for the sake of your WOKE ideas. If you mean the hose pipe through your letterbox, of course I do. I promise you I had nothing to do with that. Even Pat? She's very militant. But it definitely wasn't her neither. You expect me to believe that? Martin, Pat and me both know what it's like to be flooded. Do you think we'd inflict that on anyone else? And really, all we're asking for is the right not to get swamped in sewage. That's hardly woke, is it? I think that's a fair point. Thank you. And while I'm here, there is something else. Go on. You really need to do something about this carpet. It stinks. How can we tell if they're going into labour? Starting kidding. It still sounds like they're playing tricks to me. I know. But like most farm animals, there are some classic signs. They might pant or look restless, scratch at the straw, even nest in it. That should be pretty easy to spot. And you can check the base of the tail. Does it feel soft? I think. Leave that to you, Pat? Probably best. Not sure I want to spend too much time at the back end of a goat. No. And is there any way we can help things along? When I was pregnant, Mam said raspberry leaf tea could help. Or a curry. Well, we'd hardly feed them that. Or play them some soothing music or something. Well, they like a calm and clean environment. Which we've given them, sure, but that's about it. I can understand your impatience. And baby goats will be just perfect for Easter. We really just need to let nature take its course. She even had the cheek to criticise my carpets. Well, on that score, Emma does know what she's talking about. She was a ferociously good cleaning lady. My mother in law spoke very highly of her work. And from Peggy, that's very hard won, believe me. And it was only what you were saying a few minutes earlier, Martin. Yeah, well, be that as it may. Well I do hope you've finally accepted though that Emma and Pat are innocent. At least as far as the hose pipe's concerned. All right, Brian. If it wasn't them, who was it? Well, who else might have it in for you? There's the other lot, I suppose. The Borsicher Clean Water Action Group. Yeah. So there are other suspects. Certainly intimidated our employees in the past. Have any of the other directors been attacked in the same way? No. Although I'm the only one on the board who lives locally. What about your chief exec? The other senior officers, presumably they're more local. Yeah, but I'm the only one who did. What is it? I wonder if I've been barking up the wrong tree. Perhaps it wasn't about the sewage incident after all. Go on. What if it was? Dominic Pams your gardener? Very much. Ex gardener. Well, I don't know. I mean, that's a bit of a stretch, isn't it? Wouldn't surprise me at all. Dirty Dominic. I suppose there'd be a kind of poetic symbolism to it. A garden hose as the weapon of choice. I never trusted the man. But how are you going to prove it? I can't, can I? No. And frankly, you have much more important issues to address. Like this storm tank. Now, I'm no expert, but it does seem to be a very practical solution. Oh, yes. I mean, it is something we've talked about already as a possibility for the future. In the mix with other works elsewhere. Right. Well, is there a chance you could reprioritise? Because at this moment it looks like Pat and Emma are winning the PR battle. Yes, and take it from me, you mess with those two at your peril. Thanks, Jim. Oh, Michelle. All right, Rex? Been shopping? Well, obviously you have. Yeah, some bread and stuff. Milk, you know. Yeah. You? Just about. Too right. So, going to NETS tonight? Oh, yeah. You? You? I. I'll be there. Okay then. I'll see you later. Yeah, see you later. Being crocked in action hasn't dented the spirit of these brave boys. Thanks to the dedicated. This is sick. How would I? Did you find it? Lower. Loxley's in the metadata that took me to this bulletin. Then I just had to scroll through to find the relevant bit. You're A genius, Brad. Oh, I'm really not. Anyone could have done it. I couldn't. I wouldn't know metadata if it came in a sesame bum with a special sauce. And Emma agrees with me too. Oh, does she? Yeah. She was singing your praises earlier, saying how important those plans were that you worked on. That was pretty straightforward. I'm glad it helped, though. Any road. My brilliant brother. I know I may not have found a fancy piece of film, but look at this. What? Let's see. There on the crutches. I swear down, that's the guy in Elizabeth's photo reg something brave RAF officer is a hero once again. Hero. How? Well, this is it. The headline and picture are clear enough. The text is corrupted. Censored. You reckon? I've seen other bits of paper like that. They just don't copied properly for some reason. Rubbish. Old technology, eh? Yeah. So we don't actually know what he did. Still don't even know his full name. That's frustrating. I know. Right. Seems like most of the team is here. They're not celebrating too early. It was a good practice session. Everyone's fired up for Sunday. Well, best of luck. Freddie and Lily are taking their responsibilities very seriously. Yeah, you can tell. Elizabeth. Yes? You and Vince, you're quite close, aren't you? You could say that. He hasn't been around for a few days. No. I heard his mom isn't well. Yeah, that's right. Rochelle. She had a fall and has had to have a new right hip. Oh. But the good news is that she's coming through the operation well. Oh, that's great. Much to everyone's relief. I bet. She's on a ward now, convalescing. And Vince says she's got the nurses and physios eating out of her hand, which doesn't surprise me. Sounds like quite a character. Oh, she is. Obviously it's going to be a, you know, a long road to recovery. Yeah, of course. And she might never get back to her old level of mobility, but so far, so good. I'm pleased to hear that. Well, she's got a very positive attitude, which counts for a lot. Greece. So, how are you getting on at Casey Meats? It's early days, but pretty good. I think. Everyone's been really welcoming, especially your Freddy. Oh, good. Yeah, it's hard work and you're on your feet all day, but it's great to have a job again. Hello, Elizabeth. Oh, evening. I don't often see you in here. Can I get you something? No, thanks, but I'm okay. Rex. Oh, Are you sure? I'm killing two birds this evening. Returning some food photos here that I've had copied. And I'm meeting up with Chelsea and Brad. Okay. Yeah. All in aid of Lower Loxley's World War II exhibition. Oh, for VE Day? Yeah, exactly. Yeah. What? The village really seems to be going for it in a big way. It is. There are tours at Lower Loxley and the Beacon on Lakey Hill, of course. And an exhibition in the village hall. Yeah. With refreshments, courtesy of the wi, I'm told. I don't really think we should be celebrating more. Oh, no, I'm not sure that's actually what we're doing. Yeah. Isn't it more about recognizing the sacrifices that were made on both sides. And VE Day itself was much more about the return to peace, the relief. It was all over. It wasn't all over, though, was it? And there's never stopped being wars somewhere in the world since then. That's true, I guess. Well, I do take your point. War's a terrible thing. What is going on up there? Jolene says it's Kenton, but she wouldn't say what he's doing. Well, I'm going to take these up to him and find out. Very nice talking to you both. Yeah. And you. So, cheers. Cheers. Here's the victory. The cricket, I mean. Well, I'll drink to that. I haven't had the chance to ask. How are you getting on at the abattoir? Must be difficult for you. Not really. I'm not afraid of hard work. No, I've grafted all me life. No, I. But I meant more you being a vegan. I didn't think you approved of meat. Don't you worry about me, Rex? No, I wasn't. What about you in your taxi? Sorry? Do you approve of all of your customers? Well. Or where you take them? What about lap dancing clubs? What about them? What do you reckon to them? Well, since you ask, I think they're horrible places. Right. When I played rugby, some of the lads used to go after matches. After the second time, I started making excuses. But you'd still take a punter to one. I guess, if that was the destination. In fact, you probably have in the past. Yeah, all right, I probably have. So that's like me in the abattoir. It's just a job like yours. Okay. Well argued. Thanks. But I am pleased. About what? You not liking lap dancing clubs. Oh, you're pleased about that, are you? I am. Rochelle. Yeah. I like the way we get on. So do I. And I'd really like to get to know you better. When Joy said about you being vulnerable, I realized I got it wrong. No, she got it wrong. And I didn't know what to think when you just disappeared. Well, you can blame me, man for that, too. Could we put that behind us? Fine by me. Just think we could do something together. What? Make a D. Oh, no. Look. Do we have to put a label on it? Just some activity that we both enjoy doing and then see how it goes. I don't know. Are you working Easter Monday? No. So how about then? Go on. Excellent. It's a date or something. What will we do? Maybe not cricket related. No, I think we'll have enough of that on Sunday. Did you see that J joke Chris played on Barry this evening with the gorilla mask? Barry was so busy doing his fancy run up, he didn't realize Chris was wearing the mask till the ball was about to leave his hand. I've never seen such a rubbish delivery. The way. What's his name? Tom. Tom just said wide, so. Dead fan. Oh. Oh. Everything all right? It's Benny. I better take this outside. Sorry, I was in the pub. That's good. Good that you're able to relax. Yeah. So what's up, Saskia? I wanted to say how well you did planting that camera. We got some great footage of those poor imprisoned animals. Good. All penned up and waiting to be murdered. Because I wanted to ask. The only trouble is. Yeah, well, it's two things, really. Firstly, the cameras stopped working. But more importantly, we really need footage from further inside where they're actually killing the animals. I had to take my chance when I could on the initial tour. Oh, yes, you've done wonderfully. But now you're actually working there, you must be able to get into the slaughtering and butchering area. I've tried, Saskia, but it's not so easy. You're a resourceful woman. I'm sure you can find a way. I'll send you another camera. No, don't. Rochelle. Rochelle, Is everything all right? Yeah, yeah, it was just someone walking past. So I'll get the camera in the post tomorrow. No, no, you can't send it to me mam's house. If she sees it and I'm not there, why am I going? She won't know what it is. She's so nosy. Though I wouldn't put it past her to open it. Anyway, can't we meet up? Okay. I'm on this picket at the moment. Though it'll have to be Monday. No, I can't do Monday. I've got something on. Something more important than this. Oh, no, I didn't mean. Course not. Sorry. No, you're right. Monday's fine. Good. I'll text you a time and place. Okay. Saskia. Yes? It's been four months now. Please, can I move back in? Oh, sweetheart. You know, if it was up to me, you could come back tomorrow. But the other members. I'm doing everything you asked. I know, but they're still not sure you're fully committed. I am. I promise you. Let's see how this Casey Meets project works out. Then we might be able to persuade them to reconsider. This is wonderful. You've done so well, Both of you. And you'll never believe what Brad found. An actual film? Not a whole film, just a clip out of one of those. Well, you know where they played the news in cinemas? A newsreel. That's right. Yeah. It shows the officers in bandages and the nurses looking after them. And one dude learning to walk again. And everyone's all smiling and thumbs up. That sounds fabulous. Yeah, it's just like some of the photos come to life. Yeah, totally. Elizabeth, I've got it on my phone. Give me a sec. Oh, you're all right, Rochelle. Yeah, fine. Oh, my goodness. It. I mean, isn't this the. Yeah, yeah. The RAF officer in your photo. Yeah, the one with Nigel's granddad. The mysterious Reg D. A brave RAF officer is a hero once again. Don't know what for, though. The actual story is too fuzzy to make out. Yes, I can see. Oh, that makes it even more intriguing. Not bad news, I hope. No, no, it was nothing. Kids all right, then? Yeah, fine. Rex. It wasn't about them. Okay. You know, I like it round here. Ambridge, but it's not a very private place, is it? I guess not. But that's village life for you. You get used to it. Do you? Well, I did. And actually, I do have some bad news. Sort of. I've just realised I can't do Monday after all. Rochelle, if you don't want to, I'd rather you just said so. No, it's not that. Honest. I would like to do something with you. Just not Monday. When, then? I'm really sorry. Next week's a bit of a nightmare. Do you think I could get back to you? Right, left, right, hop. Left, right, left, hop. Right, hop, left, hop. Together. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. How many times, Kenton? We have only just started this morning. About the time we put in last night. I Know, I thought if I slept on it, it would sort of consolidate, but it seems to have slipped away instead. Really? More Morris dancing. All right then. How long were you at it last night? Oh, not very long. Two hours. Two hours? Weren't that enough? Jezza's just going through the finer points with me, aren't you? Jazz slap up meal for five. Aye, Julian? Just a few refinements. Yeah. I mean, like you said, love, it's important that Armor's experience should be a high quality affair. Yeah, I know what I said, reflecting. Well on the ball. I didn't mean I wanted you to become a full time hoofer. Oh, speaking of last night, is it true that Rex and Rochelle were in the bar? Well, you'd know yourself if you'd spent five minutes in there getting on pretty well. That's what I heard. They certainly seemed chummy when they arrived after Nats found a table away from the rest of the team. Sir. Love is in the air, then? Not according to her, Chelsea. Oh, really? She reckoned they were pure awkward together. Look, don't change the subject now. Go on then. Let's see these finer points. What? These refinements. Give us a demo. Oh, no. Well, we're just finalizing the routine. I'd much rather show you the completely finished product. Oh, you would, would you? Yeah, that'd be best, wouldn't it? Jaz, I. We don't want to jump the gun. All right, you got one hour. I think we might need a bit more than that, love. One hour. And just remember, you've got a pub to run. Michael. Flatly. That's not Morris. That's Irish dancing. Finer points. Well, I have to say something. You haven't even mastered the basic steps yet. I know, but look. Right, left, right, hop. Left, right, left, hop. Right, hop, Left hop. Feet together and jump. You make it sound so easy. It's not the Argentinian tango. Come on. Again. 5, 6, 7, 8. It was a very difficult line to tread. Well, it sounds like you did it brilliantly, Emma. Oh, I don't know. So you were sort of playing good cop, were you? Yeah, that was the idea. All the while portraying me as some kind of dangerous militant, almost out of control. Yeah, that sounds about right to me. Totally bonkers. Careful, mum. So you told Martin Gibson that mum was on the point of going ahead with her own groundworks. Yeah, even though we gave up that idea almost as soon as we had it. Partially thanks to your good sense. Tomorrow. That's a relief. I really don't want to have to Visit you in prison. Feeling's mutual. And Martin Gibson bought the story. Oh, this really helped. What's that? See for yourself. But is this genuine? Yes and no. We wanted Martin to think that we have real plans to dig our own storm tank, so we just took her. Safety of existing blueprints from. Where was it, Emma? Oh, somewhere in Yorkshire. And Brad Horribin doctored them. With all these Ambridge references. They'd have fooled me, I must say. And that wasn't all. I made out that Fergal Sharkey was part of our team now. So all this was going to go national. Which is stretching the truth a little. I thought you said it was a five minute chat at the bar. It wasn't a complete fib. He did say I could mention his name, which I did. Remind me never to play poker with you, Emma. So this is all good. But we need to keep the bluff going. And that's what today's publicity stunt is all about. Exactly. Thank you so much for organising the excavators, Tom. My pleasure. Just as well. I get on so well with Chet. Where did you meet him? Borsetshire show. He and his crew do a turn with pirouetting diggers. Useful man to know. When they get in here? I said 10:30. I assume you want them right by the treatment works? Yes, please. And we'll tie the banner on the fence. The two machines together with their shovels raised. Should make an impressive photo and a convincing statement of intent. By George, I think he's got it. Slow but steady wins the race. Slow. All right, Kenton. Right, next step. All right. Putting in the movements. Add in the sticks. Oh, you're joking, man. We got to have the sticks. Do you think we should just keep it simple? No, the kids will love it. And if you get the kids, you get the mums and dads. And if you get the mums and dads, you get that lovely money. Come on, Jess. Come on. I went to all the trouble to get them. It's either this or the hankies. I'll draw the line at hankies. Yeah, well, there you go, then. Okay, give me. But like we saw, right? And nice and slow. Okay. High, low, high, low. See? Easy. But on the video, I. Weren't they holding the sticks in the middle? Not at one end. Does it matter? We want it to be authentic. Okay. And a bit faster this time. Yeah. 5, 6, 7, 8. Hi. Hello. Hi. Hello. Hi. Ow. What are you doing? You didn't put me off. And your hand was in the wrong place. No, it Wasn't. Oh, that really hurt. Maybe we shouldn't bother with him. So this is one of your finer points, is it? Breaking the knuckles of the paying public? No, no, of course not, my love. This was just something we were trying out. Oh, please tell me you weren't going to be messing around with sticks on the day. No, no, no. On reflection, I think we'll just keep it to the dancing, like I said. Yeah, the sticks, they. Well, I suppose there might be one or two health and safety issues. Oh, you think? I did try to tell him. Bit higher, Tom. That's it. Stop. Oh, that's so good. Cheers. Isn't it? They really look ready for action. And with a banner showing between them too. Just as if we're about to start digging our own tank. I've been thinking about that, Pat. If anyone from the press asks, do you think we should mention the possibility of a moat? I don't know, because a storm tank is very practical. But will anyone know what it is? Whereas a moat, people can visualise what that means. It gives a real feeling of, like, you know, being under siege. Yeah, I see what you mean, Emma. Well, those things are fun to play with, I bet. Oh, yeah, very impressive. It's just what we were saying. Can I leave you two to it now? Of course. No, I need to get the beetroot and chard in. But if you want a different arrangement, just give us a shout. We can easily change things around. Okay. And if by some stroke of luck, a TV crew arrives, we can have lots of engine revving and shovel movement. Oh, we'd certainly like that for our own video. Okay, great. Thanks. Tomorrow. And after this, Chet can have his diggers back. No, I meant what's the next stage in the protest? Oh, yes. What does that mean? To be honest, we don't know. We just have to hope that this threat is enough to persuade Borsicher Water to buck up their ideas. Right shoulder, you. Right shoulder. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm never going to get this right away. It's just such a lot to remember. This is the simplest dance I could find, really. Hi. Oh, I've got a lot more respect for people who do it all the time, I can tell you that. Oh, what's up? That's a message from Jolene. Seeing. Well, I'll give you the clean version. She snowed under in the bar and she needs me to come down right away. That's it, then. Lesson over. No, we can't leave it like this. Jazza, are you going to tell Julene that, then? Cause I'm certainly. No. Maybe we could find time later this afternoon. You're going to have to face facts. You'll never get your Hedronis if we practice till Christmas time. I don't understand. I've always been a really good dancer. You know, disco or soul or rock even. You know, when I can let myself go, express myself. Very different kind of dancing, pal. Yeah, so I'm discovering. No, you're right. I'm never gonna get it in time. You just have to cancel this whole experience thing. We can't do that. We're taking bookings. We need the trade and Jolene will kill me. What choice have you got? There's only one thing for it. I'll do the organizing. Drumming up the crowd and everything. But you'll have to be the instructor. Me? In public own the village green. You're so good at it. If I was any kind of good instructor would have got this sorted last night. Please, Jazza, I've told you how I feel about this wet English pastime. There's literally no one else. I can't. E Man. Okay, look, how about on top of the meal, drinks for everyone as well? Drinks? Yeah, for all five of you. Whatever we want. Beer, wine, cocktails, whiskey, anything good. Malt whiskey? Yes, anything jazz. Just. Just what? Maybe keep that bit quiet From Jolene. Yeah, okay. Thank you. Well, we'll definitely send you the press release. All right, bye. Who was that? Bochester Echo. Not coming? Sadly not. And we're right on their doorstep. It is disappointing, I know, Emma, if they don't think it's worth turning out for. Oh, well, you know how these local papers are nowadays. So tight on staff. She was very keen to get our press release and she said if the video is any good, they'll almost certainly run it on their website. Oh, that's something. I'm just wondering how long to stay here now. Our press invitation said 11:30 to 12:30. I could hang around for a bit longer in case someone turns up. Would it be all right if I left you on your own, Pat? Oh, yeah, of course. It's just Chelsea's been covering single handed a lot lately. I know. Which she says hasn't been a problem, Mom. With today being a bank. No, no, that's fine. You get off, Mom. I'll be. Tom. Something the matter? No, quite the opposite. Have you heard the latest from the Borsichire Clean Water Action Group? No. What? Look, they're claiming to have a very well sourced story about Borsicher Water. Let me see. Apparently, one of the board members has threatened to make a very public resignation unless the company cracks on with improving the Ambridge treatment works. What? But look, when approached, a spokesperson for the water company said, we do not comment on internal matters. However, I can confirm that we intend to carry out a survey of the Ambridge sewage infrastructure to include a feasibility study of enhancements, including a substantial storm tank facility. You've done it. Both of you. That's. That's incredible. And that anonymous board member. It's got to be Martin Gibson, hasn't it? It must be. Well done, Emma. Well done, us. After all that effort, I'd almost given up hope. Drinks in the ball tonight? I should say so. And I've got another piece of good news. Yeah, there's some kidding action back at the maternity ward. Oh, wonderful. So it looks like Natasha's going to have her star attraction for Easter weekend. Fabulous. It really is a good Friday screenshot. It gave me, as an actress, just what I was craving. They were both very mature as filmmakers. This was a film that spoke to a red state, blue state divide. I'm Mark Kermode. And I'm Ed. Melanie Jones. And we'll direct you through the intertwined worlds of film, television and streaming. In the new series, we'll look at Studio Ghibli and summer blockbusters. And start with cinema's fascination with doppelgangers, helped by the one and only Richard Ioadi. I'd quite like to meet more Norwegian Nigerians. In fact, if there's a meeting, I'll happily attend. Screenshot from BBC Radio 4. Listen now on BBC Sounds. I'm Zing Singh. And I'm Simon Jack. And together we host Good Bad Billionaire, the podcast exploring the lives of some of the world's richest people. In the new season, we're setting our sights on some big names. Yep, LeBron James and Martha Stewart, to name just a few. And as always, Simon and I are trying to decide whether we think they're good, bad or just another billionaire. That's good Bad Billionaire from the BBC World Service. Listen now, wherever you get your BBC podcasts.